Compassionate case notes, Representation & being a content creator with Gem Turner

I could talk to Gem all day! But we managed to keep this at an hour for you!

In this episode we talk about:
-The impact of reducing a person to what they can't do
-Confidence  and independence
-Content creation and representation
-Tea and Gravy

There is so much in this conversation to help you learn as a newly qualified social worker.

Get in touch with Gem about keynote speaking:

https://www.gemturner.com/about

Instagram: @gemturner

LinkedIn : Gem Turner

Youtube @gem_turner

Lets connect!

To book in a free 15 minute chat with me, to talk about training, development, courses or membership, head here.

Sign up to my free newsletter

Join The Collective



Email: vicki@socialworksorted.com

Instagram.com/@socialworksorted

Youtube.com/@socialworksorted

Facebook.com/socialworksorted

Disclaimer

Thank you so much for listening.

Please rate, review and share with one other person - it makes such a difference and I really appreciate your support.

Transcript

 Gem & Vicki -edited

Gem & Vicki -edited

Headset Microphone (Sennheiser SCx5 USB MS): [00:00:00] Hi and welcome to Social Work Sorted, the podcast. I'm Vicki Shevlin. I'm your host, and I founded Social Work Sorted, an online platform for newly qualified social workers.

I'm an experienced children's social worker, previous Child Protection Conference Chair, and I started Social Work Sorted so that newly qualified social workers could connect theory to practice.

 My mission is to help you bring confidence and calm to your first year as a social worker.

Headset Microphone (Sennheiser SCx5 USB MS): Because I know that when that happens, you are able to positively influence so many of the people around you, including the children and families that you work with.

This podcast is all about practical guidance, realistic advice, and amazing insights from the wonderful guests that I have joined me.

So whether it's a bite sized episode, something to reflect on, 

or an entire conversation for you to soak up, you are so welcome. If you want to know more about the ways I can help you as a student or newly qualified social worker, or even a workforce development lead, then make sure you go and have a look in the show notes. And I'll also be reminding you at the end of this [00:01:00] episode.

Before we get into it, just a reminder if you find this episode or any of the other episodes helpful.

Headset Microphone (Sennheiser SCx5 USB MS)-2: Please take two minutes to leave a rating, a review, get in touch with me and share it with somebody else.

Headset Microphone (Sennheiser SCx5 USB MS): I'm so grateful that this podcast is part of your social work journey.

Microphone Array (Realtek High Definition Audio(SST))-2: Hello! These introductions are coming to you with a very croaky edge to them, so I'm going to keep it short and sweet, but I can't wait for you to listen to this conversation. I connected with Jem over Instagram and I definitely, since having the A business account, a public facing social media account.

I now chat to people on social media, like I don't think twice about leaving a comment on somebody's post or replying to their stories. And I think it's because I know how much I value it and how much I love connecting with you guys when you get in touch with me. And so, Yeah, that is how I connected with Jem, started following her because number one, she's hilarious, like so witty, [00:02:00] so funny, and number two, because she shares normal life and we talk about it in the podcast, but I think we all just like to see what other people's lives look like.

And Jem is a content creator, a keynote speaker, but she creates content around living life with a disability. And so I definitely connected. with that because it's interesting to me and I love the way that she shares so openly, so honestly, in such a down to earth way, but also helps me to learn about my assumptions and my judgments and, yeah, is also, just really spot on when it comes to social media.

She did a degree in media. She obviously works online. So when we first connected, I think we booked into chat for like 15 minutes. It's probably an hour long, so many tangents and yeah, really interesting conversations about the future of social media and sharing [00:03:00] online. And yeah, we basically talk about all those in this conversation and more.

So I hope you enjoy it.

Vicki: So Gem, I should also say it because you're Gem on here and in my head I say Gem because your Instagram name is Gem Turner. Yeah. But do you care Gem or Gemma? 

Gem: Not really, you know like when you get in trouble at school and they say your full name. Yeah, if someone call me Gem, I'm like, 

Vicki: okay, yeah, I don't ever wanna full name somebody.

'cause I'm like, no one ever calls me Victoria. So we'll go with Gem because that's who you are. Welcome to the podcast and four people who don't know you or don't follow you. Do you wanna introduce yourself and talk a little bit about who you are and what you 

Gem: do? Yeah, so I'm Ger, I'm a disabled content creator.

Public speaker, consultant, any type of freelance job you want me to do, I'll do it. And yeah, I talk about life as a disabled person online. I [00:04:00] first started using my wheelchair at two years old. So I think it's sort of like, we'll probably go into it in the episode, but yeah, really it's, I document life as a wheelchair user.

But I try and kind of see the funny sides where I can and, you know, share the honest and real stuff as well as like the serious stuff when I need to but yeah, that's what I do. 

Vicki: And also we should say, because I started following you on Instagram, so when we actually properly like met. Virtually a few weeks ago, I was like, Oh my God, it's gem because I knew so much yet.

And I think it's, and we talked, didn't we? About like content creation and how much you see into somebody's life. And I like came off the call and I was like, was I too over familiar? But I think it's because you have that way of like, I almost feel like I know. So many parts of you because you share so much about life But it's also like you're air fryer and like I [00:05:00] know that your kitchen got remodeled and stuff like that And I think it's it's so interesting how that can happen just through social media Yeah, and like knowing people we were talking about about like how much do you how do you know how much to share?

And I wonder like for you, do you think about that or do you just post it and you're just like this is who I am Like, how do you find the balance? 

Gem: Yeah, that's super interesting. I think, well, first of all, you said that I'm exactly the same kind of, I know we're online, but offline, Instagram as I am on Instagram, and that's like the best thing you could say to me, because that's what I try and do all the time.

Like, I want to be me. So yeah, thank you for that. And I think, Mainly, as a disabled person, you do get people being over familiar with you anyway, like strangers, so it's almost liberating for me to control. [00:06:00] That story on Instagram, whereas if I'm in town and someone comes up to me and goes, Hello darling, are you alright?

It's like, it's not as fun. So, yeah, I think at least on Instagram, because I can control the narrative, like, you know my likes, what I enjoy, you don't see me as a sad, disabled person. You know, so I don't really mind that people know a lot about me. I kind of buzz off that. 

Vicki: That's actually, that's really interesting.

Cause I didn't even consider that side of it, that people would, and that's like like infantilizing you, isn't it? Because you're like going around your business, but you're in a wheelchair. And actually, yeah. And you getting to control it is not what everybody's experience is like. Okay. No. That probably isn't the experience for every single person.

And you shouldn't have to be blind to do that. But [00:07:00] for you, like you said, that's like a liberating part of it. 

Gem: Oh yeah, definitely. And like, I went through a phase, obviously, in my 20s of like, going out, drinking, and stuff like that. And, you know, I'd get comments from, say, like, the older generation being like, oh, you're never out without a drink, are you?

There's always a drink in your hand. And like, I'd be like. Would you say that to any other 20 year old? Probably not. But actually, the message that I'm putting forward of I'm just like every other 20 year old was better for me than The other kind of stereotypes that you get so it's kind of just weighing up that balance of is this worth it?

I think it is. I'm gonna share it 

Vicki: Yeah And that and I think for me because I have like my social work head on and then just my head head a normal head but it's like as a social worker I just think in terms of like online representation, there was so [00:08:00] much that is good about social media and so much that we should be able to learn from because quite often in so and I always did children's social work and not kind of adult social work.

There's so much of kind of us trying to condense people down into words and numbers and papers and files and that's not life and nobody would want to ever be condensed down into something like that. And that's where I think your social media accounts are really helpful because it is, it's your full life, I guess.

Yeah. And do you just like, do you get, and I guess because the other part of me is on social media for work, do you get tired of it ever? Do you ever just like, I just don't want to post this or like, or kind of your head thinks, should I post this? Shouldn't I post this? And it becomes like an attachment to your like thoughts.

Gem: Yeah, I would say more burnout rather than, I never [00:09:00] really analyse what to post because I always used to say, when I first started, would I want my grandad to see this? If I don't want my grandad to see it, I'm not going to post it. But my grandad's not here anymore. But, like, I'd always think anyone could see it.

So, as long as everyone is, then that's fine. That'd be, like, my criteria. But I think the main thing for me is, like, I get burnt out by being perceived, which is weird when you put yourself out online all, all the time. But I think, cause, when I, when I'm out, You know, I'm being stared at all the time, and, and I know that some people will think that's dramatic, but it's true.

Like, everywhere I go, someone double takes, someone triple takes, they might follow you for a little bit, like, and to, to kind of explain that, people think I'm being dramatic, but that can be exhausting, so it's, then when you get into your own little haven [00:10:00] and safe space, the last thing I want to do Is to put myself out to be watched.

So, yeah, I definitely get weekends where, you know, quite recently I've turned WhatsApp off. I've turned every kind of communication thing off. Because I've just had enough and it sounds dramatic, but I think it's just good to listen to yourself. And like, if you need that time off, you need that time off and then you can come back and carry on.

Vicki: And I don't think it sounds dramatic at all. And especially because some of those, obviously you don't share every single thing, but some of those things that have happened to you or some of the horrible experiences, you've shared some of them online, which just gives like even just a fraction of an insight into just the additional.

Shit that you have, as well as just life. 

Gem: Like, I'm always, that, that's something that I've been thinking about sharing a little bit more recently, but I'm always [00:11:00] double thinking about what I do outside for my safety. And I think, you know, as women, we always, there's always things we don't do. We shouldn't have to think that, but we do.

But I think when you're a disabled woman as well, you know, if I go into a shop and there's a group of Teenage boys, I know I need to get out of that shop, like I'm not going to risk that because of Situations in the past where I just don't want to experience that again or people taking pictures So I think there's a lot where I don't talk about it one because you're probably going to get non disabled people saying Oh They don't, you know, it's not really like that, or just ignore them, and it's like, well, can't really just ignore six men coming towards you, do you know what I mean?

Vicki: Yeah, yeah. 

Gem: So, yeah, I try and keep it light and breezy, but it's not all light and breezy sometimes. 

Vicki: And [00:12:00] that kind of like, just ignore them thing is just the worst, like, fucking thing you can say in most situations. Because when can you ever actually ignore something? First of all, and also that's like, let's not make people accountable for harmful behaviour.

Yeah. 

Gem: Let's 

Vicki: make sure everything's fine. Let's like, locate the problem with you. And then you need to do something. To control the situation. So yeah, the whole let's ignore them thing. I just don't think it works in any scenario ever. 

Gem: No. And in fact, the best thing that I do is the opposite of that. And I'll, this is outrageous because it could go terrible.

But I go up to the group and I go, Aye aye, alright. Because I want to show them that one, I've seen what they're doing. Like, I'm not naive. And I think the sad thing is People like that do that because they don't think I've got the capability to, to understand it and recognize it. So by going up to them and saying, [00:13:00] you're right, I'm basically saying I see what you're doing, stop.

And usually it, it kind of de escalates from there, but I don't know how I got into that, but yeah. 

Vicki: And, and what do you think it is about, like, you inherently, or the people around you that has given you that kind of, I don't know what you would call, what would you call it, like either that, that drive or I don't want to say bravery, because then that feels like, oh, you're so brave, which is not that, I suppose, that kind of like incentive or that thought to say, no, I am going to challenge this, if I'm okay to challenge this, or like, even what you do, like, what do you think it is that's made you be, like, have a public platform and share what you do?

Gem: I think it's the buzz of people. Seeing the before and after, so see the before seeing people not really look at [00:14:00] me or not even say hello. And then when I had that conversation with them and I just see them completely relaxed, laughing, you know, at my jokes. And then by the end of it, they're recommending me to someone else.

There's just no better feeling for me then. And I suppose, you know, it's an element of. People pleasing. Sometimes I think am I basing my work on, you know, other people, but actually it, they'll remember that conversation for a long time. And hopefully from that conversation, they might go up to another disabled person and feel a lot more comfortable.

So I try and remind myself of that. It's not like a ego thing. It's like we all need to do better. You know with disability. With other types of disability as well, and trying to be as welcoming and warm as possible, so yeah, just that buzz of Barry down the road. [00:15:00] Once, might have crossed the road to avoid me now, it's like, Morning love, you alright?

You off to the pub? No better feeling. 

Vicki: So, so Northern.

And do you think, like, is there people in your life who have influenced you in that way? Do you think it'd be different if you had different people in your life? Yeah, 

Gem: definitely. So, bye. My dad's mum, my grandma, was a matron, so she was like blunt as blunt, and definitely got that matron side of me. Not blunt, 

Vicki: are you?

Gem: Absolutely, yeah. So I think I definitely get that fiery, you know, I'm an Aries as well, so I'm all about fire. But then my parents are like yin and yang, so My dad's very logical. He would be the one to say, just ignore them, don't [00:16:00] think about, don't think about it! Are you having a laugh? It's the only thing I've thought about for 24 hours, dad.

So, he's that kind of mellow chill, whereas my mum is the emotional, let's see what we can do about this. Emotionally, I'll listen to you. So I think that lovely blend of, they both hear me, they both see me and want to help. And I think that's the main thing. And that that's how I've. Almost taught myself as well, like, I'll always do something to make something better.

And I think they've, they've taught me that. Even if they didn't know what to do, they would always try and find a way for me to do something that I wanted to do. 

Vicki: Yeah, I remember you saying that about, was it a school trip? And it was never like, oh, you're not going to be able to go. It was like, how are we going to make this happen?

Which is such an amazing way to, and how we should all think of everything really. [00:17:00] But just that kind of like, it's not an option, that it's not going to happen. It's just about how we're going to adapt things to it. 

Gem: Yeah, and it's not like toxic positivity, like, if I said, I want to run a marathon, we're to have a word.

Like, we, although, you know, you can roll a marathon. Yeah. But that's, that's my mindset all the time is. Yeah, yeah. To say never. But I think, like, a really key part of my life is, we've never had that conversation of, you're disabled. Like, that's never happened because we've not had to do that with I think mum said once, I said, why can't I run around like my brother?

Like we're in the garden and I were in like a ball pool and mum were just like your legs aren't strong enough to run around and I was like alright and then I carried on so it was always just like a matter of fact you can't do this but you can do this and I think that's really important with like [00:18:00] mindset and again that's not saying just think happy thoughts and they'll come to you but there's all there's there's things that like everyone's got something they can't do and But like, we've probably got more things that we can do, and it's just about thinking 

Vicki: about them, I think.

And a lot of the time it's, and again, like, what I learned from you and your content, it's, it's, so much is about the environment, whether the environment is about people and attitudes and almost like the emotional environment, or the physical environment and adaptations, because I, like, learned so much from, like, watching you when you go away, and you're like, But like getting public transport or going in hotels, hotel rooms and things that wouldn't be on my ignorant periphery if I wasn't kind of following and watching what was happening and And so for people who were maybe ignorant like me or like I was and don't think about those [00:19:00] things How would you suggest that they and especially I'm social workers at social workers listening to this podcast?

Yeah Where would you suggest that they start when they start thinking about adapting environments? Ooh, that's such a good question. 

Gem: Okay, so I would say I'll split it into two because I think it's important to like, if you're the person doing it versus if you're the person supporting someone doing it.

I think for the person doing it, it can feel so big that you can't really imagine doing it. So let's take an example is. When I thought about my kitchen and adapting things, it felt so overwhelming to think of a whole new kitchen, you know, I'm like, I've never seen a kitchen for someone like me, you know, short stature, three foot one, small limbs.

Like I just didn't know how it would work. And then I think for the social work side or. [00:20:00] Anyone who's supporting, they think that as well, but also a lot of the time, not everyone, but especially in professional services, it was almost, let's just get the bare minimum done. And like, I understand that because of budgets or time and stuff like that.

But that to me, sent a message to me that I only deserve to use a microwave. Genuinely. There was a conversation at one point where you've got a microwave that'll do and it's like you have to, the disabled person has to feel worthy enough to be able to do and to me that's not the bare minimum, like the bare minimum is using a hob, getting a cup of tea, getting a cup of tea, come on that is, that is a necessity.

So yeah, that, that's the first thing is like knowing that it's the whole [00:21:00] experience is, is deserved. And then I'd say the second part is like research, really research what the possibilities are. Because even people in professional services. Aren't the experts in your particular body, your health, your energy levels even the builders that did my kitchen.

Didn't know that you could have a, a two ring hob. So I don't need four because that's so deep that I would never reach like the back two hobs. And he was like, no, you can't get two ring. I literally Googled it straight away. Two ring hob came up that was like really narrow and better for me. So yeah, it's just like having that advocacy within you to dare to think What if it was amazing?

What, what would it look like if it was just perfect for me? So yeah, and then like the [00:22:00] professional side, just think, just remember about dignity as well, that it's really hard to put yourself out there and be, basically have a whole case study, literal paper files about what you can and can't do. I definitely have anxiety around.

Again, it's that being perceived. Someone's knocking on my door. They're coming into my space and saying, What can't you do? I'm like, my cheeks will burn. So, yeah. It's just remembering that it takes a lot of courage. And that's not a cheesy thing to say, but yeah, it takes a lot of courage to invite someone into your house and, and discuss a What you can and can't do.

Vicki: Yeah, and I guess the like, the fucking shitty part of services is that there's this kind of perception, I think sometimes it's a reality, [00:23:00] that the if we focus on what somebody can't do We're more likely to get funding for them or, you know, we have to go into this like absolute deficit model To get a result or like and it's it's the same in child protection.

Like it's all where's the risk? Where's the risk? And if there's more risk, there's more services, which is just so backwards from what it should be, whereas if we, if we're focusing on the strengths, it's like, well, how can we invest in this to make it better? How can we make this the most adapted kitchen and like personalized to you and, you know, make it a part of your amazing home.

And it just feeds. And then I think that then feeds into the, you know, if we're constantly focusing on deficits or what you can't do, it feeds into a perception of like, That you can't do things, rather than looking at, like, you know, your mum and dad, well, how are we going to make this happen, rather than we can't do it?[00:24:00]

And it's such a, it's so harmful, and it just, like, gets perpetuated, doesn't it, by the kind of paperwork cycle? Definitely, it's, 

Gem: it's really difficult when you're not like, not negative, but if you don't think that way, but I know I've got to put myself in that mindset, 

yeah, it's difficult, and that's me who can advocate for myself, 

Vicki: yeah, yeah, well that's yeah like most common like the questions would be framed and I did a bit of this when I was on placement But it would be framed like tell me about your worst day like if you you know the day when you are like so ill or You know where you feel like you can't do anything like oh What does that look like for you?

And even the process of someone having to narrate through, like, if I'm going to talk to you about my worst day, after half an hour, I'm going to feel terrible because I've just relived my worst day in a narrative to you. And I'm thinking about all those terrible things. [00:25:00] And I just thought, yeah, we can't ignore that.

The sort of the impact on people like retelling their stories, but also the worst version of. Those stories. 

Gem: Yeah. 

Vicki: But it's almost like it kind of asks, the system asks you to do that. 

Gem: Yeah. And also, two things on that. One, that could be changed so easily by saying, What can we do on your worst day to make things better?

Like, even shifting that language, I would feel so much better being like, Oh well, when I'm like this, doing this would be so much better. Oh, my Bluetooth's gone on one sec. Okay. Yeah. So, just switching that language would be so much better for me as a person so that I'm not constantly thinking, oh well this is shit, this is, I can't do this, my body's terrible at doing that, like.

Yeah, and the second thing about about that, I was thinking was, my [00:26:00] disability is brittle bones so I break bones really easily, and I've broken over like 300, like, we don't actually know the number, and I've actually been asked, so, you know, how many bad days are you gonna have? And I'm like, I don't plan my breaks.

I don't just think, Ooh, I think I'm going to crack a rib this morning. Like, I don't think some, and I understand what people are doing. They're like working out the paperwork as well. If she's got, if she's got 100 bad days out of 300, then it's worth it. But yeah, just trying to explain how fluid disabilities work as well.

And I can't, I can't schedule in when I'm going to feel bad. Like, I just. You know, winter is obviously a lot worse than summer, but apart from that, who knows what's going to happen? 

Vicki: Yeah, it's that, like, like the first [00:27:00] takeaway for social workers who are listening is you can, you can have a form that maybe you absolutely have to fill in, but it doesn't mean you have to, like, project the form into your conversations, like you're still talking to a human.

Don't ask horrible questions, you know, like reframe questions so that you can see and I kind of do believe that you can get the information that you need Without being like reading it from a sheet or without asking like a deficit based question oh god, what was the second thing that they said? I've just completely lost my train of thought About the like the fluidity so much of kind of having like a system of paperwork and forms.

It's this idea that we can almost predict what's going to happen. And that's so dehumanizing to think that. People, like you said, you're not going to know when you're going to have a bad day. Like, you're not going to be able to say, well, yeah, it's every second Tuesday, 

so there's an expectation on you that you're going to be able to [00:28:00] break that when no one else, no one can predict. 

Gem: Yeah, 

Vicki: for all those reasons, it's an expectation that you're going to be able to do that just because it kind of fits into a form. 

Gem: And also you feel so medicalised in that conversation, like, you know, I've grown up with being in a room full of doctors and student nurses and Everyone going, Oh, isn't it complex and all this stuff and it does trigger all those memories again, because, you know, like, you're not a, you're not an animal being tested on and research, like you are a human just trying to explain as best as you can.

So, yeah, I think it's just about also talking to the person. Like a human, like I know people do, but like, you know, if there are questions that you've got to ask, I've had in the past where someone said, sorry, I've got to [00:29:00] go through these things. Let's try and work through it together. Even just saying that, like, I know that they're on my side rather than, you know, someone's coming into my house and asking me these strange questions.

Vicki: Yeah, yeah, I think it's a, and I don't think enough social workers do that, like acknowledging that we don't always agree with what we have to do. It's that, and it, it seems really backwards because it's sort of like, how do you do a job where you don't agree with every part of it? But yeah, I think there's not enough of like the confidence to say, I know this isn't okay.

And like, I know this is really oppressive. And it's really like, I'm finding it hard to do, or I really don't So I'm going to ask you these questions. Not to kind of project it onto that person, but like you said, it's just to kind of share it a little bit and sort of. So you know, we're not going to gaslight you into thinking this is like, this is all fine when it's not fine.

Yeah. Yeah. So that's actually really helpful for people listening who might be thinking, [00:30:00] well, I've got to do this, but how, how do I do it or how do I kind of go about it? So what I also love to talk about is all the amazing things that you've been doing this year. And all that, like you do like keynote speeches and.

You've not been to Italy yet, have you? Travelling to Italy? Not yet, in June. So I would love to know how you got into all those things, and when you are doing a keynote speech, like, how do you prepare, how do you choose a topic? Because I'm interested for me, but there's also social workers listening who have to do things where they are presenting, where they are public speaking, where they are, there might be students listening who kind of prepare for presentations and stuff, and because that's part of what you do, I'm interested to know more about it.

Gem: Ooh, okay. So, how I first started, I, just to give you context, I had a terrible experience when I was at high school. I I was head [00:31:00] girl. I did a speech. Oh, head girl, wow. Yeah, I was head girl, no big deal. Hehe, but 

Vicki: I was, I was in the running but I never made it, but it's fine. Oh my. 

Gem: So sorry for you.

Vicki: Not over 

Gem: it. Yeah, it's so not over it. So bitter. But yeah, so I had to do this speech in front of like, oh God, it felt like thousands, but it was like 200 people. And my notes were folded. And my other hand was holding the mic. And basically I couldn't physically open the notes and speak at the same hold, because the mic was everything for me as a.

Childhood brittle bones as well. So what did I do? I literally dropped the mic, rolled off and cried. So that was my first experience of public speaking. It was awful. I cried myself to sleep and my mum made me go back to school the next day. Like, it's just like, you know, it's one of these things, you just gotta get on with it.

[00:32:00] Anyway, the school got in trouble because they didn't give me a table to put my notes on. So, social model of disability, everybody. It's all about the environment. Anyway, but that's just to set the scene because then that terrified me around public speaking. But then, at university, I, I don't know if people know about sabbatical roles, like student roles, where you get voted and it's like a full time job for a year.

I was the equality and diversity officer at Leeds University, and that was really where I, Kind of thrived and learn about the politics of life and, you know, how barriers actually were the thing that was well, it wasn't me as a disabled person that was wrong. It was how the environment was built.

And it really gave me confidence that I had skills and I knew what I was saying and I could share [00:33:00] lived experience. So I kind of became the champion of disability. Inclusion when I worked at Wee Junie and people would be like, Oh, can I just borrow you to talk about this? And can I just do this? And like, I really enjoyed my job.

I was thinking I could do this as a job. Like people pay good money to get lived experience. And yeah, you know, I'd kind of, I noticed I'd entertain people as well as educate them. And I've got that again, I've got that thrill of, You know, these, I told you before, like, Harry Potter looking old men who, you know, wouldn't shake my hand at first.

But then, by the time I'd educated them and told them my side of the story, they'd be like, Whoa, that Gem, she's, she's so funny and you really should, you know, have a chat with her. And [00:34:00] that was the best feeling. Anyway, I'm rambling, but I just want to give you context of, I think it's really easy to, you know, See someone who does these kind of things and think that you've always done that.

But it's not true. Like it, you have to build that confidence. And my first ever professional kind of keynote thing was a rare disease event in London. The nice thing about that was that I knew that I was an expert in my own lived experience. No one could turn around and say that I was saying anything wrong because Well, you can't because it's my experience.

So, I think that's a good way of building yourself up is sharing whatever your expertise is. Like, stick with that and whatever. And yeah, and then I've kind of just built on that and networked with [00:35:00] people and got these kind of speeches throughout the years. And I think the best way to prepare anything like that really is don't, don't go too complex.

With a, with a speech, I'll, if, if I've got a keynote speech, I always work backwards. So I always think, what's one key message that I want to bring, start that first and then work backwards and say, are there, are there like two stories in my life? That link to that wonky message and then hopefully from there you can, you can piece together a really nice, wholesome talk.

I don't know. I feel like I've waffled there but No, 

Vicki: that's really helpful. I'm like thinking for me because I'm such a rambler. Whereas I think like the working backwards thing is really helpful because people [00:36:00] usually only have headspace for like wonky thing. And actually it's stories, isn't it, that make.

You kind of attach things to that, that story or it helps people connect with you and with the message. So yeah, that's definitely helpful and helpful to think about the fact that it hasn't always been, you know, that's, I mean, like traumatic, like high school experience, actual mic drop. And, but yeah, I'm thinking like they, it wasn't even thought of about the fact that, , you wouldn't be able to open up the notes, just it's, you know, not even a, just like completely overlooked, I suppose.

Gem: Yeah, and like no one checked in with me to say. Do you feel okay doing this? Like, is there anything we can do to make sure you're all set up? You know, there was no mic check, there was nothing and I think it taught me a lot because now I'm always like, right, what kind of mic is it? Is there going to be a table?

Can I bring my [00:37:00] iPad? Like, it does make you more confident in your own needs and knowing that that's, you know, You're not a burden for needing that because they need your expertise. So you need your requirements in order to do the job that you've been asked to do. 

Vicki: Yeah, and I also think, because there's also something about kind of lived experience, and I'm really interested, there's someone called Dr.

Jessica Taylor, and she talks, and she's kind of talking in terms of like social care and people who have had social workers maybe is like. where there's been different issues happening in their life and she sort of talks about moving away from this idea of lived experience because she's like, everybody has lived experience.

So it almost sometimes separate, it almost creates the them and us. And sometimes, a lot of the time I find in social work, people with lived experience and inverted commas. So maybe children who've been in care or parents who might have [00:38:00] had social workers or had the children taken from them are seen as these experts by experience, but they're not reimbursed for it.

They're not paid or there's an expectation for them to kind of talk for free about 

Gem: it. 

Vicki: That's it. Whereas actually it should be the other way, you know, if, if lived experiences is almost valued more if we're talking about lived experience. Like, you should be paid when you're telling your story, delivering a key piece of information, teaching people, educating people, like bringing so much to a conference.

And so I think that's why I also like what you do, because like, it's, it's your job as well. And it's okay for that to be paid. Job and need to get paid for it. 

Gem: Yeah. It's so, ugh, there's so many layers. Like it's, it took a long time for me to know my worth. And that's so sound like a right ask, don't you when you say that, but like, it's true.

Yeah, like [00:39:00] without, without learning about each other. Like, I'm giving you information that you wouldn't have known if I didn't come to that space. And there's this like, there's this message that gets banded about all the time, which is, it's either a nice thing to do, in quotes, or we just haven't got the budget.

And it's like, well, are you getting paid? Like if you're, if you're getting a wage, right now as you type this email, asking me to come in, like you've always got that safety net, whereas for me, it's like, you're constantly chatting to people, hustling, you don't get paid for that bit. Yeah, yeah. It's like you only get paid for those, like maybe one hour that you go in and maybe travel expenses if you're lucky.

So it's like, I think. There's definitely for those people that in, in the [00:40:00] area that it's a luxury when actually there's a lot of hustle within freelance, you know, it's, I don't get, there's no stability in this job. Unless, luckily for me, I've managed to get like an annual contract with someone, which is dreamy.

But, that's a luxury, you know. Apart from that, I'm constantly chasing my jobs. 

Vicki: No, I think, and I think it's worth like talking about, More. And then that's the problem part of it of like lived experience is not one homogenous group. That's, and that's the thing that I kind of lean towards this idea of what we'd like.

I don't want to create the them and us of lived experience, 

Gem: but it 

Vicki: is just the thing that if someone's coming to, if whoever the person is, who's delivering a keynote speech, they should be paid, you know, if they're whatever, like the experience that they're bringing, but the, the them and us thing almost is.

It's [00:41:00] tokenism, isn't it? Or sort of, we're doing you a favour. Yeah. Type thing. Or the 

Gem: exposure. If I, if I could control F exposure in my inbox, it would come up with so many. It's like, I don't need exposure. Exposure doesn't pay the bills. Like, I don't need that right now. Like, I'm doing alright.

It's actual money that I need. 

Vicki: Yeah, and yeah, I'm like, we, like, we exist in capitalism where the value we attach to people is money. Yeah. You can't then say that people offer value, but not pay them like Because it's capitalism. So like it's yeah No that's why I kind of like Watching what you do and what you share and like the honesty about it as well because I think We have to have more conversations about and we definitely have to have more conversations about in social work [00:42:00] and transparency I think about when people are being paid because if there's not transparency about it other people don't know that other people are doing it and it almost kind of becomes when you hide anything there's always a risk that it turns into like something to be ashamed of or something that's like a secret whereas i think yeah the transparency is good so i want to talk about that we're short on time and we might talk about taylor swift 

Gem: oh my god there's so much we could 

Vicki: talk about which which for context because people like what are you talking about like the last time we spoke we were talking about what were we talking about?

Sort of like personal branding, and like being online, and social media, and like the expectations on people to say things, whether they should, whether they shouldn't, the power, how certain people, gauge all this power through, social media or yeah, the things we're putting out.

Because I know we're both just interested in those things, aren't we? 

Gem: Oh yeah, I love it. I I definitely like, [00:43:00] online for me is part of my real life. Like, I know some people say, like, para relationships and, like, online relationships aren't real Whatever, I don't believe that, like, I don't know whether it's because, you know, sometimes I have to heavily rely on the internet if I can't get out or whatever, but yeah, I just think, like, online has totally changed and you can really connect, like, look at you with me, like, when we were talking and you were like, I know this, I know this, and I was like, woah, but it's still kind of creepy, but like, I just don't see how people can think that it's, obviously people can make up shit up and, you know, that's not real.

But I think, I don't know what my point is. My point is, it's just another part of me and I think for a lot of people the internet is, it, it, [00:44:00]

Vicki: It's a lifeline, isn't it? Yeah, and actually it's because we could be sat in a room together, but both be staring at our phone screens and not talking, aka me and my husband every evening.

But like, or, or we can be both on a screen, but having a conversation where we're not looking at other things or distracted. So yeah, it's, I, that's true. It's not about the, the fact that it's online. I think it's what you're doing. What you're doing or how you're like seeking connection through it.

Gem: Yeah, definitely Yeah, like, I forget what, like, I say loads of stuff online and then, like, I'll be out and some, like, I think, did I tell you this, I can't remember, but I, I went and did this job locally and this woman came up to me and she was like, Good for you for telling off those lads and I was like, Hiya!

Like, who the hell? But I forget that people actually do, like, watch you but they also champion you as well and, you know. That's just [00:45:00] so lovely that, you know, people get it. 

Vicki: Yeah, no, and I think, like, it is weird. Is it weird that I know, like, that you have an air fryer? But, like, it's just those little things, isn't it, that kind of connect to people, like, make you connect to someone.

in a more personal way. And I always feel that I'm like, this is a tangent, but having a business that's online, but when it's you, it's how much I never know what to share, when to share, when to stop, when it's too much. And then there's like the overarching thing of like social worker is this professional, which is just ridiculous because I'm a 

Gem: person 

Vicki: before anything else.

Do you think it's, do you think it's going to shift? Do you think people are just going to keep oversharing or do you think there'll be a pullback against the kind of share everything? 

Gem: No, I think if anything, we're going to get more Sherry, like there's a big, there's a big rise at the [00:46:00] moment of people wanting to see more in, in quotes, average people.

I think that's what's going to change this year is people, like I follow someone who's an accountant. In London, and she does a 9 5 job. I love watching that, because it feels more relatable. Like, we've gone through the era of like, Influencer who's got a Lamborghini and whatever else, and like, yeah, it's fun to like, peep through the curtain, but it's not realistic.

Vicki: Yeah, 

Gem: so I yeah, I think keep doing what you are doing because people want to see like a normal job Yeah, 

Vicki: well, I don't know if my job's bloody normal, but well, well, yeah I guess it's but it is that thing of like you you Because some, some people's, like, feeds are just so, heavily curated and it's, the perfect, I always get, like, targeted by, like, 5 a.

m., 5 a. m. morning routines.[00:47:00] I'd love that, but I'm just, I'm never gonna have a 5 a. m. morning routine. It's just not gonna happen. So it actually doesn't make me feel positive. I'm just like, oh, good for you. Yeah. But yeah, so I guess you think it will move away from that curated thing.

Well, it is anyway, isn't it? Like you said, but it will be more set to real life. Yeah. 

Gem: Like I shared a morning in my life, and it was a genuine one, like, I was in, like, a bar top, I'm filling the kettle with wet hair, like, and, you know, you put yourself out there, you're butthole or whatever, but like, I just thought, I want people to see that life isn't glossy, like, I think it's important to see that, and a disabled person just being, like, you don't have to be inspirational, you don't have to be you know.

lazy, sat in a corner. You can just be average and [00:48:00] most of us are, to be honest. 

Vicki: Yeah. 

Gem: That's great. 

Vicki: So true. I could literally talk about social media all day I speak to someone who is she's on social media as momologist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's a psychologist and she was talking about the the shift in like mom fluencing and how there's like a shift in sharing, like the, the reality of it, but we were talking about how it flips the other way.

So it's almost then a dangerous side of it of, and I wonder, is there that other side of being a Disabled content creator, do you see harmful sharing that doesn't look like harmful sharing? I'm thinking sometimes, because you're so funny and so witty.

But you don't take the piss out of yourself, you don't invite in the take the piss out of me. Whereas I have seen some accounts that do invite that in, and I don't think they're intending to do it in [00:49:00] a harmful way to themselves or others, but it does. Yeah. You see that? 

Gem: Yeah. Do you know what I worry more about is how, how I push to do new things and achieve things.

I worry about that side more. So like, I don't want to come across as if Gem can do it, anyone can do it. That's my worst fear. And that is the only thing that I, when I'm writing captions. I'm really careful to say, I've done this today, but I might not be able to do it tomorrow. I'm like, not everyone can do this, or, you know, and that's the only part that I overthink, because I don't want to be harmful to the community that, just because one person can do it.

It means, especially in the brittle community, so like, we're very similar body wise, but strength wise we might be really different, or Yeah, and I just, I don't want, I don't want [00:50:00] people to think that you have to get on a train every month to be successful, because That's a load of rubbish, like, just do what you want to do.

Vicki: Yeah. That's, it's so much to think about, isn't it? Because again, I wouldn't have thought about because I'm talking about wider perceptions, but actually you're speaking, you're speaking to so many people at once. Yeah. So you might be putting something out to somebody who, doesn't have a defined disability to change their perception.

But at the same time, like you said, there could be somebody with a disability watching, and you're so mindful that you're not like the expectation for them, or you're not the heavily curated, like, which you're nothing you do is ever like, hey, life is perfect. But you're not being like the unreachable.

Thing for them. 

Gem: Yeah, and also like yesterday I shared You know like a funny. I'm not saying I'm funny, but like it was like when [00:51:00] Barry Asks if you know, 

Vicki: so it's always 

Gem: Barry. He's either Barry or Barbara. They're my but it's like when Barry starts talking about that woman he met 15 years ago in a wheelchair, too And then I know that when I share that That's for my disabled pals because I know that they'll relate to it, but there's always a risk that non disabled people will want to come into the chat and say, is Emily trying to relate?

And, you know, I've done it before because they think, oh shit, I've definitely done that before. So I'm always thinking about the, the two pathways of my content. But I think if you overthink it, you're never going to put anything out. 

Vicki: And that's it. And again, what Emma said that stuck with me what she does is she always thinks about the most vulnerable person that could be watching [00:52:00] at the time.

And that's her sort of marker, which I thought was a helpful thing. And particularly with what I do, that that was quite a helpful thing. And I guess is, would you say your priority is always going to be the person in? Your community? 

Gem: Yeah, yeah. Always. Yeah. Even if it's like not necessarily not doing it because of them.

At least if I acknowledge them in that content at some point, like I know not everyone does this or not everyone thinks this. Like just being empathetic and compassionate that we're all humans with different preferences. 

Vicki: I do like the move to.

More realistic. Yeah. Life things. And I also think this, I'm going to stop rambling a minute, because when reality TV first started, like, I love reality TV when it first started, it wasn't curated. And that's what was so good about like, you know, old school, like Towie, Maison [00:53:00] Chelsea, all the, all the shit that we love to watch.

And then it sort of shifted. And if you look at the Kardashians now, 

Gem: Yeah. 

Vicki: Because I will always try and tell people that this is social work theory. Like the Kardashians now as a TV program is so curated that it's not reality TV and they kind of like sit there and their story in it. And even, I haven't watched like Tawiyah or the other stuff recently.

I think that's gone that way as well. And then I wonder if, like, if that will shift a little bit with stuff, you know, like Big Brother or whatever. 

Gem: Yeah, I think so. I think I can definitely see, I won't name any people, but you can see the accounts where they're trying to be something because they think that's what they need to be rather than it being organic.

Vicki: Yeah. 

Gem: Because they want to be a content creator or [00:54:00] whatever, and I think if it's not natural, It's kind of obvious. That sounds awful, doesn't it? But you can't, you can, you can only be yourself and people will know and relate to the authenticity of people, won't they? 

Vicki: I'm so interested in how it reflects how we are or like what we do.

So what I usually end the podcast with is asking, it's usually social workers asking the one piece of advice they'd give to their newly qualified self. So I wonder if there's one piece of advice that you'd give to yourself.

When you were first starting out as a content creator and kind of keynote speaker, you can decide which one. 

Gem: I think it's You don't have to share everything to be successful. So, there's this, there's this weird thing [00:55:00] at the moment where the more vulnerable you get, the more clicks it'll get, or the more, the better it'll be.

But actually, Your personal information is personal and remember that sharing personal stuff can be exhausting. So build that up and don't just share everything all at once, because that's a lot to keep up with all the time. That's, does that make sense? 

Vicki: Yeah. I think that's really, really helpful.

And I think there's probably people who are thinking about going into what you do or becoming speakers and using their own. Life and experiences, which who need to hear that as well. 

Gem: Yeah, like you don't have to bare your soul to, in order to get where you want to be. 

Vicki: Yeah, 

Gem: you know, you can say in different ways, like I very rarely talk about my disability anymore [00:56:00] because The fact is I'm disabled and that's what I've come to talk to you about I've not come to talk to you about pain and trauma and how awful it was and Which by the way, thank you because this podcast Like, you've not gone down that route, which is really rare.

People will go like, So tell me, how does it all happen? 

Vicki: Yeah, I just think, I, I don't know, it's, because we've spoken, we had so many little conversations, I was like, I know there's so many little things I want to talk to you about. Yeah. And it's not that I don't want to talk to you about those things either.

I kind of just acknowledge that there's just other things that I want to talk to you about. And I suppose that thing of knowing that when somebody's coming on a podcast, that like, I don't have an expectation for them to bare their whole soul.

Because I don't do that on this podcast either. 

Gem: Yeah. 

Vicki: Yeah, but no, it's okay. Yeah, I just think because I knew there's like so many little things I wanted to talk to you about and [00:57:00] that wasn't 

Gem: one of 

Vicki: them today. 

Gem: Well, thank you. It's just nice. It's, it's nice to be seen as a whole person, as a disabled person, rather than You know, disability and that's it.

Vicki: Yeah, yeah. And you know, you're an air fryer gal. I'm an air fryer gal. People are like, why is she talking about the air fryer so much? Go and follow Gem and then you'll know. I don't actually have an air fryer but if I was going to get one it would be because of you. But I kind of just like watching.

I'm like, why's she making it now? 

Gem: It's just great. Although I saw a comment last night, not on my socials, thank God. But someone was like, it's just a fancy microwave. Excuse me? 

Vicki: Yeah, it's not. I mean, I don't have one, but I'm like, it's definitely not. It's more than a fancy microwave, isn't it? 

Gem: Anyway, sorry.

The title of 

Vicki: this episode is going to be called In Defense of Airfryers. 

Gem: Yeah, Gem speaks out. I made Yorkshire well, no, okay. I heated [00:58:00] up some ready made Yorkshire puddings. And then, because I couldn't sleep After midnight, so make some Yorkshire puddings, cut some gravy, and this is how a Yorkshire I am, put some gravy in a jug, dip them in like a biscuit.

Microphone Array (Realtek High Definition Audio(SST)): Weirdly, I used to work in Yorkshire and

Vicki: that's what, if we'd like make a, or like have a roast dinner, it would always be like dipping it in, rather than pouring the gravy on, it was almost like a condiment on the side. 

Gem: Yeah. Yeah. I 

Vicki: think that's the way to do it, but, 

Gem: yeah.

Vicki: That is the most,, northern thing to end on, isn't it? 

Thank you very, very much for coming on today. For people who are like, right, need a bit more of Gem. Need to know about the air fryer, but also need to know about how she lives her life. And I want to know more about keynote speeches.

Want to know more about what you can offer. Where can they find you? 

Gem: So Instagram is probably the best way, gem underscore turner, gem like the stone. [00:59:00] If not, gemturner. com is my website and that's where like my worky stuff is as well. 

Vicki: Amazing. And you've got like, you've got blog posts on your website and stuff haven't you?

So 

Gem: that's how I started out really. Blogging is kind of like my first love. Yeah. There's some like little anecdotes. in there if you want to read them. 

Vicki: Yeah, I would recommend very educational but also entertaining. So yeah, I'll put all the links in the show notes of the podcast and potentially the YouTube video if the editing works.

And thank you very much. Thank you. Thanks for having me. 

Headset Microphone (Sennheiser SCx5 USB MS)-4: Thank you so much for listening to this episode.

Headset Microphone (Sennheiser SCx5 USB MS): Like I said at the start, if you enjoyed it, if you took something from it, please take a couple of seconds to leave a rating or a review 

I always love it when I hear back from you about the impact of the podcast. So feel free to email me as well.

Anything specific mentioned in this podcast episode will be in the show notes.

And here are some [01:00:00] reminders of how we can stay in touch,

along with the ways that I can help you become a calm and confident social worker.

Firstly, I have a free newsletter, The Space. This is a weekly email sent out to students and newly qualified social workers.

With curated links and recommended reading and listening that I know you will find useful in your newly qualified year.

Secondly, I have an amazing membership, the collective. This is an online membership for students and newly qualified social workers.

Headset Microphone (Sennheiser SCx5 USB MS)-6: When you join, you get access to a learning hub full of bite sized video resources and downloadable eGuides. 

Headset Microphone (Sennheiser SCx5 USB MS): These are all specifically focused on the tasks, the policy, the legislation, the theory and the practice skills that you need in your first year as a social worker.

We have a private Facebook group where you can access a weekly Q& A thread for any questions, queries or reflections that you have.

Members are also invited to a monthly live zoom call with me, where we have a Q and A, but also take time for mindfulness, reflection, and [01:01:00] meditation.

The collective is for students and newly qualified social workers who want solution focused, practical support, advice, and mentoring from me.

If you align with any of the values of Social Work Sorted, if you are looking for realistic, practical advice, if you are a strength based and solution focused person, 

If you often feel overwhelmed and crave resources that are bite sized, digestible, easy to access, available for you to watch again and again.

Rooted in the practical skills, but also underpinned by theory, then the collective is for you.

Headset Microphone (Sennheiser SCx5 USB MS)-7: Head to the show notes where you'll find the link to join. 

Headset Microphone (Sennheiser SCx5 USB MS): Thirdly, I have e book guides and video courses available

For students and new social workers.

Who are looking for support and clarity in specific area, the child and family assessment guide, the home visit guide, risk in child protection masterclass and a home visit masterclass as well. Again, all the details are in the show notes.

As well as all this, I'm available to come and deliver training in person to your [01:02:00] student or ASYE cohort.

Whether it's a skills day, part of an ASYE induction, a keynote speech, or a guest lecture, 

please don't hesitate to get in touch with me for an informal chat to find out more.

Thank you so much for listening. Like I do at the end of every single podcast, I want to encourage you to slow down

and take a pause with me before you go on to the rest of your day. Close your eyes if it feels comfortable,

or just soften your gaze.

Take a couple of deep breaths. And enjoy this moment of calm. Know that you can come back to this at any time you need to. 

Headset Microphone (Sennheiser SCx5 USB MS)-8: Remember, you are doing an incredible job. Take care, and I'll see you for the next episode.