ποΈ Welcome to Pathways with Amber Stitt. In this episode, Amber sits down with the remarkable Rachel King, whose entrepreneurial spirit blossomed at the age of 12 when she started her first babysitting business.
π Hear how this early venture laid the groundwork for a diverse career that led Rachel from babysitting and swim instructor businesses to military service, real estate investing, and ultimately law.
π©ββοΈ Rachel shares her unique journey, discussing the significant challenges and pivotal moments that shaped her career. After facing a difficult college experience and joining the army for stability, Rachel cleverly leveraged her military benefits to pursue a career in law. Along the way, she has managed her responsibilities as a mother, farm owner, and successful businesswoman and attorney.
π Listen as Rachel and Amber delve into the nitty-gritty of entrepreneurship, the practical aspects and legal ramifications of business and family planning, and the crucial importance of estate planning.
πͺ Rachel provides invaluable insights on overcoming the fear of failure, the power of breaking down overwhelming tasks, and why clear communication and financial arrangements are vital for family security.
π¨βπ©βπ¦ We also explore Rachel's experiences in the legal field, particularly in family law and elder abuse cases, and her thoughts on the need for innovation and citizen involvement in shaping the legal system.
π§ Join us for an inspiring conversation filled with practical advice, personal anecdotes, and a deep dive into what it truly takes to achieve success and make a difference in the world. So, grab your headphones and get ready to be inspired by Rachel King's incredible journey!
π’ Join the conversation, share your thoughts, and let us know how you break down your overwhelming tasks!
βοΈ Don't forget to subscribe to Pathways with Amber Stitt for more inspiring stories and invaluable advice on navigating lifeβs financial and legal challenges! π
π½οΈ To watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/iUHTzUNWDxM
π Follow us:
π Resources & Links:
To learn more about Rachel King please visit:
- Website: https://thelawyerking.com
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachel-king-546b0080
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/TheLawyerKing
To learn more about Amber Stitt please visit:
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amber-stitt-acp-chfc%C2%AE-cltc%C2%AE-clu%C2%AE-gallup%C2%AE-1b186821/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amberstitt_
#AmberStitt #RachelKing #PathwaysPodcast #Entrepreneurship #EstatePlanning #FamilyLaw #KingLaw #RealEstateInvesting
π If you enjoyed the episode, give us a thumbs up and share it with someone who could benefit from this conversation!
ποΈ Welcome to Pathways with Amber Stitt. In this episode, Amber sits down with the remarkable Rachel King, whose entrepreneurial spirit blossomed at the age of 12 when she started her first babysitting business.
π Hear how this early venture laid the groundwork for a diverse career that led Rachel from babysitting and swim instructor businesses to military service, real estate investing, and ultimately law.
π©ββοΈ Rachel shares her unique journey, discussing the significant challenges and pivotal moments that shaped her career. After facing a difficult college experience and joining the army for stability, Rachel cleverly leveraged her military benefits to pursue a career in law. Along the way, she has managed her responsibilities as a mother, farm owner, and successful businesswoman and attorney.
π Listen as Rachel and Amber delve into the nitty-gritty of entrepreneurship, the practical aspects and legal ramifications of business and family planning, and the crucial importance of estate planning.
πͺ Rachel provides invaluable insights on overcoming the fear of failure, the power of breaking down overwhelming tasks, and why clear communication and financial arrangements are vital for family security.
π¨βπ©βπ¦ We also explore Rachel's experiences in the legal field, particularly in family law and elder abuse cases, and her thoughts on the need for innovation and citizen involvement in shaping the legal system.
π§ Join us for an inspiring conversation filled with practical advice, personal anecdotes, and a deep dive into what it truly takes to achieve success and make a difference in the world. So, grab your headphones and get ready to be inspired by Rachel King's incredible journey!
π’ Join the conversation, share your thoughts, and let us know how you break down your overwhelming tasks!
βοΈ Don't forget to subscribe to Pathways with Amber Stitt for more inspiring stories and invaluable advice on navigating lifeβs financial and legal challenges! π
π½οΈ To watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/iUHTzUNWDxM
π Follow us:
π Resources & Links:
To learn more about Rachel King please visit:
- Website: https://thelawyerking.com
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachel-king-546b0080
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/TheLawyerKing
To learn more about Amber Stitt please visit:
- LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/amber-stitt-acp-chfc%C2%AE-cltc%C2%AE-clu%C2%AE-gallup%C2%AE-1b186821/
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amberstitt_
#AmberStitt #RachelKing #PathwaysPodcast #Entrepreneurship #EstatePlanning #FamilyLaw #KingLaw #RealEstateInvesting
π If you enjoyed the episode, give us a thumbs up and share it with someone who could benefit from this conversation!
Amber Stitt [00:00:00]:
Hello and welcome to Pathways. I am your host, Amber Stitt, and today we welcome Rachel King to the show today. Welcome, Rachel.
Rachel King [00:00:07]:
Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.
Amber Stitt [00:00:09]:
We made it happen.
Rachel King [00:00:10]:
I know it was a long time coming. We are busy women.
Amber Stitt [00:00:14]:
I know there's kind of a thing of like, don't say you're too busy. You know, there's a business mindset. But no, we were literally calendars and all the things. So I'm glad we can make it happen. I've been looking forward to it because I liked learning about you as I was following you on social media and watching some of your episodes. And I know there's a big part of entrepreneurship that you have been a part of since you were young, partly because I think that other people were attorneys growing up and you are an attorney and a business owner of your own practice. But I think your entrepreneurship even started like a little bit younger. And that's where I kind of chuckled when I was watching some of your episodes about just where it all started.
Amber Stitt [00:00:49]:
Is it okay to go back in time and share with the audience a little bit about you and how you have come into this with the King law firm that you own today? Is that all right to go back in time?
Rachel King [00:00:59]:
I love going back in time. Yes. I started my first company when I was 12. I'll be honest, I didn't realize it was a company and that I was running it like a business until partway through. I think maybe my mom had mentioned it, but I didn't fully grasp how amazing it was until I was quite a bit older. So at 12 years old, I wanted lots of things and like many 12 year olds still do, and my parents had 4 of us that they were raising. I came from a divorced family, so I didn't get everything I wanted, but that wasn't gonna work for me. So when I was 12, I thought, well, how can I get the things that I want if I can buy them, then my parents won't be able to say no.
Rachel King [00:01:40]:
So I started babysitting. I was really fortunate in the area that I lived. I was the only 12 year old, if you can believe it, that was babysitting. And back then, 12 year olds did babysit quite often.
Amber Stitt [00:01:52]:
I know.
Rachel King [00:01:52]:
And so I started babysitting. But when I thought, okay, I'm going to babysit, I'm going to make enough money babysitting to buy all the clothes that I want, all the things. I went to office depot and I got business cards made and I called it "Baby City", and it had my name and my phone number, and I went to all of the neighbors in our community and I passed out my business cards. And then from there, I got babysitting jobs. Ultimately, it turned into so many opportunities that I farmed them out to my friends, kind of like a babysitter's club, and took a little bit off the top there. From there, I moved on. And when I was, I guess, 17, maybe 16 or 17, I was a swim instructor and a lifeguard at the "Y", and I was teaching swimming lessons at the "Y", but I also started teaching swimming lessons in home. And kind of the same thing happened where I was teaching private swimming lessons in people's homes over the summer.
Rachel King [00:02:50]:
But then I got too many, and so I brought in other people that I knew and again, took a cut off the top. And I've sort of, I guess from really early on, Amber, I learned that it's so much more fun to make money off of other people working than it is on me working. It's truly like the Tom Sawyer philosophy that I embraced, and I live it every day.
Amber Stitt [00:03:14]:
You are scaling the business at 12. And I remember maybe 10 and 11 for my age group. We were out there babysitting and parents would leave without a cell phone. You have the landline in the wall, emergency contact sheet. I'd have an envelope system of money, like tithe. And I'm like, "How much do I give to the church? Because I kind of like all this over here." And I try to be cool with my envelopes, but I always wanted a business card. When I heard you say that in a previous interview, I was like, I totally get you, but I never went out and got those cards.
Rachel King [00:03:40]:
I felt very grown up as a 12 year old. And I have a 12 year old son now, and, oh, my gosh, the thought of him babysitting is terrifying. I don't mind him staying by himself or even him with his sisters, but taking care of other people that are younger, I don't know about it. So I think even though it was more natural and more accepted, when I was 12, I still had this sense of imposter syndrome where it was "Well, if I have business cards, people will take me way more seriously than if I just go knock on the door." And I still do things like that today. Like, "Okay, I'm gonna fake it till I make it, I'm gonna do this, and eventually I will grow into becoming whatever I envisioned in my dream."
Amber Stitt [00:04:22]:
Yeah. So the serial entrepreneur. When I'm looking you up and I'm doing research, I'm like, what does she mean by that? But no, but literally, you've had these other opportunities, even now to present day, a business owner of a firm. You have a team, but do you also own a farm?
Rachel King [00:04:35]:
So I live on a farm. Yeah, we have a farm. And I own also a real estate investing company. And so I diversified. I am truly like the millennial, and I used to fight being categorized as a millennial, but I'm truly like the millennial that has side hustles. Even though I'm an attorney and I own and run a very successful law practice, I still have all of these side hustles on the side. Maybe because I get bored easily or something, but, yep, I live on a farm. We have over 400 different trees.
Rachel King [00:05:02]:
We have chickens, we have bees, we've had turkeys and pigs and all of the things.
Amber Stitt [00:05:09]:
High achiever, potentially what we can say?
Rachel King [00:05:12]:
I guess my mom would probably certainly say so.
Amber Stitt [00:05:15]:
Okay, so then who was the person that potentially interested you, maybe it was you, before all the things post 20 year old to go to the military in the middle of all this.
Rachel King [00:05:25]:
Well, it was one of those, "Okay, what am I going to do with myself," situations? I'm a pretty resilient person, and I don't know if that's because I grew up in a divorced family. So at 18 years old, I tried college, and my mom said, as long as you're in school, we'll pay for kind of your life. Not really all of my life, just like the basic necessities. And so I did that when I was starting my freshman year in college, we actually had 911, right? So I started in August, and then 911 happened. Not that it affected...I mean, I lived in California, so I don't want to start saying it affected me like it did in the other parts of the world, but it was pretty big. And then you pair that with my very immature brain, and I thought, well, this is a great excuse to not have to go to college, right? If I say I can't go to class today because I'm so devastated over what happened, and I found myself in that first semester using every excuse not to go to class as I could, including this national tragedy. And so at one point, my parents were like, "Yeah, no more.
Rachel King [00:06:25]:
You're done. We're not paying for you." They kicked me out of the house. They like, came home at 9:00 p.m. and you're not really supposed to do this, but all my stuff was outside. That was before kids had access to all the information where they're like, "You can't kick me out. I have tenant rights," and all that nonsense. So I was like, "Oh, no."
Rachel King [00:06:41]:
I went over to my friend's house, and I thought, okay, I knew a lot of people in the military, so I thought, okay, I probably like, let me try this. Let me see if I can do this. Then I know I'll have a job, I'll be employed, and I'll have a place to live. Those are my big things, right? I need a place to live, and I need some kind of income coming in.
Amber Stitt [00:06:58]:
Yeah.
Rachel King [00:06:58]:
So I went into the army, or I went to MEPS, which is the Military Entrance Processing Station or something. They still have it, and it has all of the branches. And I talked to every single branch. My ASVAB, I'd taken in high school, so I didn't have to wait around for that. And that was because I got out of a class in high school if I took the ASVAB. So I of course, signed up for the ASVAB.
Rachel King [00:07:18]:
I was not an overacheiver. I took a lot of time to try and get out of things anyway, so I had my ASVAB. I went and talked to all of the branches. I knew that while I didn't want to go to college right then, that college was in my future, and I just needed that route. So one of the things I really looked at when choosing the army was my education benefits. And at the time, because it was post 911, they had really great sign on bonuses and education benefits. But my favorite part, Amber, is they come to me, and they said, "Okay, we're going to ship you off to basic training in six months." And I thought, well, six months, I need a place to live, like, tonight.
Rachel King [00:07:55]:
And so I was very honest with the recruiter. I said, so if I have to wait six months, I'm gonna have gone on to my Plan B. Like, I'm not gonna wait around. I move very quickly, so if you can get me out of here in two weeks, I'll go. And I thought two weeks, because I was pretty sure I could take this military contract. I did not come from military in my family, so I thought this would be a pretty big thing. I could show up at my mom and stepdad's house and say, "I signed this contract for the military. Can I crash at your house for two weeks?"
Rachel King [00:08:26]:
That two weeks was about the extent that my mom would give because she was pretty frustrated with me at that time, and it worked. The army got me out in two weeks. I went home and said, "I joined the army!" They were shocked, but they let me sit on their couch until I shipped off to basic.
Amber Stitt [00:08:39]:
Oh, my gosh. I was thinking, "Okay, which branch?" Because I know a lot of my friends were Camp Pendleton, and I wasn't sure where you lived exactly.
Rachel King [00:08:47]:
So that's actually how I knew...I grew up in southern California, and I had a lot of Marine friends. So I looked into the Marine Corps first. Cause that was natural. And I knew I would be very likely stationed in Oceanside. But ultimately, there were some things about the Marine Corps that didn't sit well. The recruiter was really unprofessional and, well, quite frankly, hit on me.
Rachel King [00:09:08]:
Just the whole thing for the Marine Corps was really off putting. The army had everything that I wanted, and I wasn't as familiar with the army, so I thought, well, let's give it a shot.
Amber Stitt [00:09:17]:
New adventure.
Rachel King [00:09:18]:
Yeah.
Amber Stitt [00:09:19]:
Thanks for sharing all of that. So I'm sure your mom just loved...She's like, try not to be mad at you for doing that, but how clever of you. Right? But don't go. I mean, it probably was so scary for her.
Rachel King [00:09:29]:
You know, I have a younger sister, so. And she was six years younger, so she was quite a bit younger. You know, I love my mom, and she and I get along really great, but I think at that time I was causing her so much stress that she probably was more relieved than anything.
Amber Stitt [00:09:45]:
Good solution.
Rachel King [00:09:46]:
I don't know that. Even though she'll tell people now, "Oh, I always had faith in Rachel." I don't know if we had an 18 year old, a snapshot of her thoughts on me at 18, if she thought I was headed down the right path.
Amber Stitt [00:09:58]:
See, I never talk about back home, back in Omaha, and I think my parents did kick me out, too. And I went to grandma and grandpa's, so I thought, "Haha, got you, mom and dad. I'm moving boxes out. You told me to leave, but I'm going to grandma grandpa's house." But my poor grandparents, no, but we turn a corner and we figure it out. And I know you talk about having resilience, and you come into this business ownership, talk about going into some business opportunities into the military. There's a framework there.
Amber Stitt [00:10:24]:
It's not so much that you can do anything you want. It's not like you can be a business owner mindset in that system. So, coming back to civilian life, what made you go, "Okay, now I'm ready to go get my JD and just continue on." Did you just get your time boots on the ground, literally, to then say, it's now time to go get my education and get into the legal game?
Rachel King [00:10:45]:
About 6 months into my time in the army, I realized I was not a good military fit. And by that, I mean I'm one of those "smarter, not harder" kind of people, and I don't really like to follow stupid rules. That doesn't cut it in the army or in the military at all, right? You are low ranking. You follow orders, and you do that. And I hated that part. So about a year in, I started college. They had an army college system, and so I started going to college in the army, and I realized that I was out.
Rachel King [00:11:16]:
I was out after four years, and this was not a good fit, and I don't like people telling me what to do. So that was my plan was to get as much education in the army as possible so that when I got out, I could go to the next. Being an attorney was always kind of in the back of my mind. I think because my dad was an attorney, I was very attracted...I still am very attracted to the ability to problem solve for people and help people go through a really hard time. I'm really drawn to the...I know you shouldn't really admit this out loud, but the power that kind of exudes.
Rachel King [00:11:48]:
And when you tell people you're an attorney, they still are like, "Wow." I really like that. So, yeah, when I was in the army, that was my plan. What was not part of my plan was to get pregnant at 20 and to become a single mom. So that happened, and I still knew I wanted to get out of the army, but I was like, I got to stay in a little longer, because now I have this other mouth to feed, and I have daycare, and I have all these things. So instead of getting out after four years, I re enlisted with the idea that I would get as much of my bachelor's degree done as possible, so that when I got out of the army, I could use my GI Bill to pay for my law school. Ultimately, that is pretty much what happened. I got married. I had another child shortly after, and I went to law school with two children.
Rachel King [00:12:34]:
One was 6 years old, one was 10 weeks old, and I was married, and I had another, my third child in law school. I'm a really big believer that you just do what you want. You take the next step forward always. And hard work will get you where you want to go, but you can't be afraid, and you can't really let anything hold you back. And I really never let anything hold me back, and I still try not to.
Amber Stitt [00:12:54]:
Okay, so you talked about some of the, I'll call them antiquated systems that might exist in the military system. My brother has shared some things with his journey personally. So then we go over to the legal system. Now, I'm sure there's some respect, obviously, for the precedents of where laws are coming from. Do you feel that there needs to be some innovation? Do you buck the system sometimes or get frustrated with some of the developments, or is it supposed to be...? And that's where we just continue to evolve. If you're allowed to talk about that, I'm curious, how do you feel about it?
Rachel King [00:13:26]:
I think that's a really interesting question. I, of course, it should be no surprise that I love our judicial system. I think it's pretty incredible. I've looked into other legal systems in other countries, and there's parts of other legal systems that are maybe better than ours, but as a whole, I think our legal system is pretty great. I also think that as citizens, we do a really great job of trying to innovate and change. But, and there's always room for it, right? There's always room for growth. But as far as laws are concerned, I try not to get super frustrated with the laws. First of all, I understand that I'm a lawyer and I don't make laws.
Rachel King [00:14:05]:
I help people understand what the laws are and compare it to the facts that are going on in their case. And I don't do criminal law either. So I don't stay in that sector. But I think the biggest reason I don't get frustrated with the laws and we see everything that's going on and the news and the media can be really depressing is because by nature, the laws have to be behind, right? The laws are never going to be relevant for where we are today because it is because of what's happening today that is causing the laws to change. So when people start getting upset with that and saying, "Oh, my gosh," getting frustrated with the laws as they are, they always have to be one step behind because what society is going through and the issues that the new generations are facing and all of that are what's causing laws to change. I think understanding that helps people maybe understand and not get as frustrated, but also gives them the ability to go out and really make change. Right? Should you vote? Yes, you should vote.
Rachel King [00:15:02]:
I live in California, and if you are conservative in California, people say all the time your vote doesn't count, you should still go vote because it's your say. If you don't like something, you should be involved and go and talk to your congressman, or go support a cause or something, because it is all of those things that cause the laws to change and they won't change without it.
Amber Stitt [00:15:24]:
So I appreciate you saying that. And it's almost that we have to respect where we've been, but it almost makes us slow down with the kind of practice...we'll get into what you do, it can be very emotional. If we look at the past and where we've come from, the judicial system, the laws, we can take a moment and see, okay, how did other cases, how do they wind up so we're not acting irrational or erratic just because of an emotional situation. It gives it almost like an agnostic balance. But then if something does need to innovate, that's where some of this great kind of creation can come from it.
Rachel King [00:15:55]:
Yeah. And don't be afraid. So, this is a really basic one, but if you think back to the 90's, if you got divorced and you had children, hands down, moms got custody, right? The norm was for moms to get primary custody. And that was really because of where we'd come from in the 50's, 60's, 70's and 80's, where moms were mostly stay at home. And so they were the ones that were available to take care of their children. They had the caregiving, they had all of the traits. Right? But we get in the 90's and the early 2000's, and dads are now saying, "Wait a second, I want to be able to take care of my children just as much as mom. Mom is out there working as well.
Rachel King [00:16:36]:
Why does she get primary custody when she's working just as much as I am?" Because now we need a two income. You know, everybody has to work, or whatever the case is. And it wasn't one court that all of a sudden said, "Oh, yeah, we're going to do that." It was really dads that came in and said, "These laws, they're antiquated, they suck for us. And we want to be treated differently when it comes to custody and visitation." And now we're in 2024. And at least where I practice primarily, the courts really do. And I know there's people that will disagree with me, but, the courts really do try and come from a place where children should have an equal time with both parents.
Rachel King [00:17:15]:
So that's just an example of if you went back and said, "Oh, my gosh, the laws were horrible in 1990." Well, no, they were a reflection of the previous times. And then we get to a different point and then it is us as people and citizens, and I don't know, whatever the issue is that needs to go in and say, so we need to change these laws or how they're interpreted or how they're applied to what's going on right now.
Amber Stitt [00:17:39]:
Yeah.
Rachel King [00:17:40]:
And that can be seen in every facet, whether it's prisons, you know, marijuana crimes or custody, visitation, conservatorships, kind of everywhere in the law.
Amber Stitt [00:17:52]:
Yeah. In the financial planning industry, there's a lot of software programs that are to help put together a plan. But then there's a lot of us saying, "You can't predict what hasn't already happened in the future." So these are great, but please. And again, working with attorneys to iron out from the grave from the before I get sick phase, having resilience in my practice is to take care of things while you're healthy and well, because we cannot predict what's coming in the future. And a great Monte Carlo process can run all these different predictions and stress tests but if we rely just on that and not basic fundamentals of taking charge of our life right now, and we'll get into what you do, it's on you to not have done some of the due diligence for your own self and have that moment to like, "What can I be in control of?" I don't allow my clients just to "X" factor this for my life insurance. I want to say, O"kay, let's talk about your family, what's going on, who's married to who," and it can all change.
Amber Stitt [00:18:45]:
So that's where I want to kind of segue. You mentioned conservatorship, and I'm like, "Yes," because a lot of people ask about minors being on life insurance policies, and I say, "I can't advise," but a conservatorship could be a part of that process if a minor child is on a policy. And so anyway, we can answer that now. But I kind of want to know, how did you get into family law? And you can maybe talk about some of this and that answer, I know I'm throwing a lot, and I can do that. Thanks for hanging with me.
Rachel King [00:19:10]:
I do all of the areas of law. I joke with people and say that have family drama. If you are in family drama...
Amber Stitt [00:19:17]:
I'm your mama. No.
Rachel King [00:19:18]:
Yeah, exactly. And I started in family law, I think accidentally. I was a brand new attorney. I'd started my own law firm, and at that point, when I started my business, I kind of made a promise, self promise, that if I would go and spread the word that I was an attorney for 8 hours a day until I had one case, and then that one case took me 1 hour, then I'd spread the word for 7 hours, and I did that. And so I spent, I don't know, the first week and a half, maybe. It didn't take very long telling people that I was an attorney. The beautiful thing about family law is that you have people that can't afford an attorney, that have to self represent, and then you've got the Jeff Bezos' of the world, right, and where their legal representation and how their family law case is vastly different. But I was fortunate.
Rachel King [00:20:06]:
My very first client didn't have a lot of money, needed legal representation, and was able to take the risk with me being a brand new attorney, because it was what that client could afford. And it happened to be a family law case. So that's kind of how I ended up in family law. From there, I actually tried to get out of family law. I think 4 years into my practice, I really started to love elder abuse and conservatorships and probate, and I wanted to transition my practice over primarily to that. So I didn't advertise family law for an entire year, but I was still getting a huge amount of family law.
Amber Stitt [00:20:46]:
Just wouldn't go. Just kept finding you.
Rachel King [00:20:49]:
So after that one year off, I said, whatever. I guess I'm gonna do family law, too. Now. I have a pretty split practice, and I think I've been successful, and I continue to be successful in family law because I'm able to keep that emotional divide. A lot of attorneys go down, it's just too much. There's so much drama, and they don't really know how to self regulate or to separate themselves. I have very clear boundaries with myself and my cases, and not only does that allow me to practice better because I can stay unemotional about the decisions and help my clients really, through this process, but it also doesn't have me get burnout, right? I don't get burnout because I am sad that my client is going to lose their children because of a drug addiction. But ultimately, I'm not going to go down that tearful journey because I have my own children and I have to carry on with my life.
Rachel King [00:21:39]:
I think a lot of attorneys that get burnout are not able to do that. And because of that, because I can distance myself, I think I've landed in these elder abuse and conservatorship and guardianship situations. They're all families fighting, and I'm pretty good at handling that.
Amber Stitt [00:21:54]:
Awesome. Yeah. I have a friend, elder abuse in Arizona. Just the stories that are behind that is pretty awful. Then there's the people that are left behind, too, that are dealing or unaware of what could really be going on, and then how to advocate without having all the facts potential, but knowing something's off and wrong. And a lot of the elder abuse is after they pass, too, right?
Rachel King [00:22:15]:
Well, a lot of it happens prior to, but it's that people become aware of it after. I also think, though, I'm gonna be honest with families, if anybody's listening, I think a lot of families turn a blind eye. I have quite a few families that are aware of the elder abuse and turn a blind eye because they're not in a position to step in and take care of mom and dad, or turn a blind eye because they don't want to upset mom and dad, and they'll just deal with it after they pass away. So there's a lot of reasons. And then you just have the heartless people. Right? I think if I could continue and spread knowledge about elder abuse, what it looks like, what the common red flags are, and have not only seniors become aware of it, but also family members and friends become aware of what to look for, because many times the people that are getting abused have some kind of cognitive impairment or are susceptible to undue influence, and they are not able to recognize themselves. It's really sad.
Rachel King [00:23:14]:
Something that we need to be more aware of. And I think as a society, we look out for children so much, which is fabulous, but let's start looking out for the seniors as well.
Amber Stitt [00:23:22]:
Okay, so you're saying majority of the cases are. I was wondering if there's an age range where it's more consistent, but it's usually with some sort of maybe a chronic illness or like a disability or something happening?
Rachel King [00:23:34]:
So for it to be considered elder abuse, it has to be a dependent adult or somebody over 65 in California. So if you steal a 62 year old's money, you're not necessarily...you're still breaking the law, but you're not necessarily participating in elder abuse. So there are some requirements for it to be classified as elder abuse. But we hear about the scams of, "Oh, the IRS called you," or all of getting very sophisticated. While there are some seniors that fall for that, that's not the norm. I mean, most elder abuse is caregivers and family members that come in and manipulate situations, take for themselves.
Amber Stitt [00:24:11]:
Wow, interesting. That's, I mean, awful. It's not like any of it could ever be good.
Rachel King [00:24:16]:
No, it's tragic.
Amber Stitt [00:24:17]:
It's like the people closest to you could be the issue. So when you talk about say, there's nothing wrong, there's nothing wrong per se, but like, hey, I'm going to be proactive and buy an insurance policy. We talked about conservatorship. What are some things from maybe an estate planning perspective or real estate where I know California law can be a little bit different. You got community property in Arizona.
Rachel King [00:24:40]:
You have community property in California, too.
Amber Stitt [00:24:41]:
Is there anything outside of, "Hey, we need to go to court for this," that you really want to spread the word about, too? Outside of the elder abuse that, not turning a blind eye, but I feel that sometimes people don't feel like they don't have a high net worth or an estate. They just think, this is not for me. And there's a lot you can do to organize and protect your family with legacy by taking some steps before there's anything wrong. Do you have anything to share in that regard, to be proactive?
Rachel King [00:25:07]:
Absolutely. In fact, just the other day, somebody said, "I don't have an estate." And I said, "What do you mean you don't have an estate? Everybody has an estate." And it was interesting because their perspective was an estate is grand, multigenerational wealth, where when you hear an attorney, or you talk about an estate, you're talking about really any asset that you own. You could have an estate that's a dollar and it's still your estate. Right? So the legal definition of estate is what you own, I think, and I used to practice this.
Rachel King [00:25:43]:
I used to have a huge part of my practice that was estate planning and working with insurance. I don't do that as much now. I'm more in court now. But the only time that you can create an estate plan is when you are not going through something that impacts your ability to make decisions. So you should be making an estate plan while you are healthy and while you don't feel pressured to make those decisions. And for me, an estate plan includes all of the things, whether it's an insurance plan or legal documentation or a buy sell agreement for a company. But it is all of the legal steps and all of the paperwork and planning that you need to make sure that while you're alive right now, totally well, you can take care of yourself. That if you find yourself in a situation where either temporarily or permanently, you can't take care of yourself, you've already put in the steps to make sure you are cared for.
Rachel King [00:26:39]:
That can be power of attorney, advanced healthcare directive, long-term care insurance, a lot of things. And then ultimately, what is going to happen and who's going to take care of all of your stuff after you pass away? What does that look like? And collectively that becomes your estate plan. If you do it while you have nothing to do, right? There's no urgency. You get to make all of the plans that you want so that you're in control. The seat of control. If you wait, then you're potentially subject to legislation and what the laws say, or some other person coming in and taking advantage.
Rachel King [00:27:20]:
So I say do it sooner rather than later. And I know it's tough. I mean, who wants to think about their death? So don't think about that. Just be like, "Who do I want my stuff to go to? If I couldn't make a decision today, who would I want to make that decision?"
Amber Stitt [00:27:33]:
Stay in control.
Rachel King [00:27:34]:
Yeah. Keep it real far removed. Because thinking about your own mortality is difficult.
Amber Stitt [00:27:38]:
No. And that's where I think that's basically the answer to the question, "Why don't most people go through this process?" And I joke with my husband that was staring at his phone in our estate planning conversation years ago, not really being present. And I'm like, who do you want for DNR? Check the boxes. What do you want? You know? And he's like, "Ah!" He's not alone. And anyway, I think if you can focus more on what can you control, what do you want to leave behind? What are the ramifications? What are the ramifications of families that are just left with no rules and kids have to figure things out?
Rachel King [00:28:08]:
Legal bills that are tens of thousands of dollars. Funny that you should say that about your husband. Every time my husband and I go out of town, we have two minor children and one adult child. And every time we go out of town, just the two of us. And this has gone on since they were little, I redo our estate plan, right? And I either completely redo it...
Rachel King [00:28:28]:
I make sure that it's perfect. Exactly as I want it, based on what's going on in our lives at that point in their age. And one time I sent my sister a text, and I said, "Hey, we're going out of town. I just want to confirm that you're still okay with being their guardian," because I always like to check that. That's a big, huge role, especially for three children. So I said, "I just want to make sure you're still okay with that. I have $1,500 in the drawer, cash under the microwave. I've got a bank account that's got $25,000 in a bank account that I'm temporarily naming you as beneficiary of.
Rachel King [00:29:03]:
And then we've got insurance and these other things."
Amber Stitt [00:29:06]:
Yeah.
Rachel King [00:29:06]:
And she was like, "Oh, my gosh. It's kind of morbid. You've put so much thought into this," right?
Amber Stitt [00:29:12]:
Yeah.
Rachel King [00:29:12]:
And I said, "So if something..." This was, again, I had, at the time that I went through this particular incident, all my children were minors. And I said, "If my kids have both of their parents die on vacation, their life is completely turned upside down. The worst thing that they could expect to happen happens. So if the least I can do as a parent is make sure that immediately there's cash, so that there can be food in the refrigerator, and that they can have the immediate necessities that they have. That's what the $1,500 is for. And then with a little bit more work, like a death certificate, you have $25,000 to make sure that the mortgage can get paid and they can continue to live in their house, and grandma and grandpa can come and visit, because there's money for that. And long-term, once you get all the life insurance and all of the assets in the estate, you can create a life that gives them as close to what we would have given them as possible, because there's never going to have their parents come back.
Rachel King [00:30:13]:
They will have just gone through something horrific. So the least I can do for my children is set it up so that it is the best possible outcome for them that they can. That they have access to the resources to make it not quite as devastating." And that's truly how I think people should look at estate planning. It would be awful as a mom to think that you didn't get to see your children grow to be 18, but what does that look like for them? And how can you make it a little bit better? And if you don't have minor children, kind of the same thing, what are you going to do for your spouse? Right? My husband doesn't pay the bills. I pay all of the stinkin' bills. If I were to die, what can I do so that it makes his transition a little bit easier? If you're the surviving spouse, what can you do so that your children have the opportunity, even if they're adults, adult children have the opportunity to grieve you.
Rachel King [00:31:02]:
And that's really how people should look at estate planning. It's also way less sad.
Amber Stitt [00:31:08]:
Yeah. The other thing, too, is you need to ask the beneficiary if they're cool with it. Some people go, "Oh, yeah, my sister or whoever." What if your sister has four or five kids and there's no money, or something's happened and, or they get sick? We have to make sure, like you're saying you're updating and looking at this, things can change. And you can't just assume, well, they're going to just fly over there to where they live, hope there's airfare.
Rachel King [00:31:31]:
How many people have I done? I can't even tell you when. Again, I used to draft a lot and they didn't want to ask if somebody would be the guardian. And I'm like, "So this is a really big commitment that you're asking somebody to do. You're asking them to raise your children, and while they may love them, that may not be in their emotional cards, they may not be able to financially afford this." So I think you should ask everybody. Ask them if they want to be the executor. Ask them if they're willing to take over your kids. Ask them all of it.
Rachel King [00:31:58]:
And then don't be offended if somebody's like, "Ah, I don't think I can take care of your four kids. That's a lot." Yeah. All right.
Amber Stitt [00:32:04]:
So switching gears, you are an organized business owner who happens to be an attorney, too. That doesn't do estate planning anymore for clients. So we're not putting that out there.
Rachel King [00:32:12]:
I still think it's a really great job and you should do it and you should find an estate planning attorney. If you don't do it, then you can come to me and I'll get you through the court process.
Amber Stitt [00:32:19]:
Right, exactly. I mean, so that's where, again, I feel like when you're talking about staying neutral in your mindset, I mean, you're going to court and you're also meeting face to face with your clients. If we were to lift this conversation up a bit and apply it to people that are taking a journey into business, we know that you have always had that go getter from being young, that attitude, and it's important to have resilience. You talk about how you are resilient, and you'll just go get it done. Do you have any advice for people that are trying to figure out their next move when it comes to starting something, joining something, adding something on that could be applicable that was helpful to you, that you told yourself we had to do this or that there's some advice there for that person that's just in that mode of, "I want that, too."
Rachel King [00:33:03]:
Yeah. I am very clear with what I want for myself. So I think I always have had a picture of what I wanted my life to look like. I am clear with what I want my goals and my business to be. I don't necessarily publish them. I think this was the first year I did a vision board, but I'm clear within myself. I see sometimes I'm still afraid to tell other people because of that fear of failure. So I don't think you should think you're odd because you have fear of failure.
Rachel King [00:33:31]:
But I clearly define what I want within myself, and I try and put the steps out. That's all easy. I think, actually, every single person has made a goal and has put the steps together on what they need to do to get to their goal. Right? But then what happens? It's like, I'm going to run a marathon, and I've got this great training plan, and I'm gonna start tomorrow. And then you get to tomorrow, and you're like, "Oh, God, I have to run 3 miles. I've never run before," right? Or whatever it is. Or, "I'm halfway through the training, and now I have to do an 18 mile run.
Rachel King [00:34:05]:
This is horrific." So whatever it is, you get totally overwhelmed. And I also get totally overwhelmed. And when that happens, I take a step back, and I simply relook at the steps that I put in place and think, okay, I'm gonna do just the next step, even if the next step is only rewriting all of the steps to get to my goal, because it seems to shift my mindset to be in a place of control instead of a place of losing control. So if ever I feel like I am overwhelmed, I get so overwhelmed, I get paralyzed, I just can't even function because I have so much to do.
Rachel King [00:34:45]:
I don't know where to start. I take a step back and I do one thing, and that one thing could be I'm gonna make my grocery list, because then I did that one thing, and you hear it so many times, so this is not some new thing. Everybody says you just do one thing and then the next thing becomes easier. But truly, I don't ever think about it. And there are days where I'll be totally overwhelmed with work. So overwhelmed, I won't even know what to do. I'll just wanna sit and cry and not own a company, not do anything.
Amber Stitt [00:35:14]:
We've never feel like that, ever.
Rachel King [00:35:17]:
I'm just gonna count how many cases I have. Literally, I'm just going to count all of my cases so I can wrap my head realistically around how many cases I have instead of thinking, I have a million things to do. Some days that gets me to the next step, and some days I do that. And then I sit on my couch and I watch Hallmark TV for the rest of the day in my pajamas and a blanket, and I give myself the opportunity to just zone out. And I think if you do that, it allows you to always get to the next step instead of staying in a place of overwhelm and you just keep chipping away, and eventually you'll get to where you want to be.
Amber Stitt [00:35:50]:
Appreciate that honest approach. Because I think sometimes people could be intimidated by a personality like yours that just...it looks like from the surface level, everything's figured out, but everyone is human, right?
Rachel King [00:36:00]:
It's so easy. That's what I get told a lot. Like, "Yeah, but Rachel, you're just you, and it's so easy." No, it's not. It's hard.
Amber Stitt [00:36:08]:
Yeah, but then allowing yourself that time off and just sometimes I'll grab a book that's not business related. I'm like, this is what I'm doing. I need to just have that escape or making sure the phone's down and you just hang out with your family, things like that. But, yeah, if you can look at how many cases and remind yourself sometimes how great things are. And the reason we are overwhelmed is because there's this success and people that we're helping you get to reorganize the goals, too, and the steps. And so that puts you back into that control, the pen down to paper. So I think there's something there. It's your steps.
Rachel King [00:36:38]:
So I say all this to also say, it's hard work. I have an 18 year old, and she, bless her heart, is amazing. And she already moved out, and she's self-supporting and in southern California I cannot even tell you how proud a mom I am of this. But she looks often at me and she says things like, "Oh, my mom, it's so easy for you. And look at all the stuff you have, and, you know, you make so much money, and you can work in your pajamas," and all of these things that she looks at as, I guess, what she wants. And then she'll be like, "But I have to work today.
Rachel King [00:37:10]:
I have to go into work, and I have to do this." And it's like, "Yes, sweetheart. I had to also. I had to grind through the army. I had to grind through college and law school and do all this. I put in my time, and I moved there slowly over 20 years, 22 years to get to a place that is pretty awesome." But you can't take every day off, right? You can't take every day to sit in front of the TV and veg out.
Rachel King [00:37:37]:
You got to say, "Okay, I'm going to do this today, and then I'm going to get right back up tomorrow." And then you have to get up tomorrow and do it.
Amber Stitt [00:37:44]:
Yeah. Isn't that funny, though? I think I even had moments with my own dad, who's a business owner, too, and I'm just like, oh, you know, there were these things that I would critique and analyze younger in the business, like 10 years ago. Like, "I can't believe my dad would do this. And he works from home on Mondays." And now that I know Mondays are my busiest day, I need the most quiet time possible. And sometimes it's Sundays that I prep for the week. And I'm sure you have certain things like that, too, because of court dates and so on. So I guess it's just a matter of it takes time, and there's wisdom as you get older, and then you have these moments, you're like, "Oh, that's probably why your dad did that," right? Part of the journey.
Rachel King [00:38:16]:
Totally part of the journey. And I think that people need to just remember to give themselves a lot of grace, but really also hold themselves accountable. The most successful people that I know and that I strive to be, like, hold themself accountable. And so it's always great to have accountability partners, but I think you need to be accountable to yourself because at the end of the day nobody else is going to make it happen for you. And if you're having a difficult time holding yourself accountable, then that probably needs to be addressed before anything else because nobody else is going to make your dreams come true. And I can say I am living my dream life from when I was 18 years old, and it's really fun, but it's a lot of work, and it takes time and discipline. And if you don't have the time and the discipline with yourself, that's probably your first priority.
Amber Stitt [00:39:04]:
Yeah. And Rachel, that's what we talk about often on the show, is focusing on talents. Really our first step in my, what we call a five step system, is focusing on what you're talented and okay, but then it goes deeper into understanding who you are as a person, that personal development. And obviously it feels good when people know how great we can be, but ultimately, we're the ones that matter most, when it comes to that, it's got to be here and you have to understand it. No one else can make you feel that purpose. It's got to be here first. And that's also part of legacy planning, is showing up and doing the work and showing kids and our families that we're going to be accountable and responsible.
Rachel King [00:39:41]:
Absolutely. 100%. I'm very proud of my daughter and I'm very proud of that generation. I know. I feel like, Gen...what are they? Gen Z gets a lot of hate.
Amber Stitt [00:39:51]:
Yeah.
Rachel King [00:39:52]:
But they're really doing great things. And just like, you know, as a millennial or Gen X, you looked back and your parents taught you. I think we have an obligation to our children, whether you are raising Gen Z or Gen Alpha, to teach them and to show them and to lead by example. Right? Get up and do it, even though it sucks. Nobody wants to go to work sick, but sometimes you have to go to work sick and you can sleep in on the weekends. And I think we have an obligation through legacy planning or through however you're going to do it, to really show your kids how to be, not to just tell them how to be.
Amber Stitt [00:40:27]:
Yeah. That's a perfect place to stop, I think, for today.
Rachel King [00:40:31]:
Yeah.
Amber Stitt [00:40:32]:
And I really just want to lean in and I think there's a lot of creation that's going to come. I've talked to my audience about this, and I think there's going to be a lot of very interesting...I mean, you're in California with a lot of innovation there, a lot of bright minds. Let's help by showing them, but encouraging them, too, with all the resources that they have that we might not have had.
Rachel King [00:40:50]:
Absolutely. And every generation has their own, I want to say, passion projects.
Amber Stitt [00:40:54]:
Right.
Rachel King [00:40:55]:
Which, what's important to them, their movements. And I think we can share our experiences and we can guide, but we also need to give them the tools to be successful in whatever they choose to accomplish through their life, through their generations, and on and on. I think that's really powerful. And if we can do that, then our children will be successful.
Amber Stitt [00:41:19]:
Well, you are an inspiration, and I'm kind of jealous. I don't think I'll ever have a farm, but it sounds pretty fun. But I don't know if that's on my vision board in Arizona, where we have a lot of desert behind us.
Rachel King [00:41:30]:
Okay. So it sounds cooler than it is. It's really fun to say. It's so much work.
Amber Stitt [00:41:34]:
I know.
Rachel King [00:41:35]:
Sure.
Amber Stitt [00:41:36]:
Just in case you just get bored, you can just tend to a farm. We're making sure you stay busy, because that's just good for you.
Rachel King [00:41:43]:
If I have nothing else to do, I can go pick avocados. We have 250 avocado trees.
Amber Stitt [00:41:48]:
That's good, though, aren't they? They go out of stock, don't they? And that can be a thing.
Rachel King [00:41:52]:
Yeah. I told my husband, I was like, "So if we're gonna have a farm, let's just have enough stuff so that we can feed ourselves." Right? So we have fruit, we have avocados, we have chickens.
Amber Stitt [00:42:04]:
I know where I'm going if everything went to hell. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being here today. I'm glad that we can make it happen, and I know the listeners are going to love seeing you online and learning more through the episode and beyond. So thank you.
Rachel King [00:42:18]:
Thank you so much for having me. It's been a pleasure.
Amber Stitt [00:42:20]:
Thank you for joining us on this episode of Pathways. For more information about the podcast, books, articles, the blog, and so much more, please visit my website at: www.AmberStitt.com And remember, let's take action today! Thank you for listening!