In-Between: Seasonal Allergies & Self-Intellectualization

Allergy season is in full swing in Georgia, and I am suffering! I didn't know you could develop allergies as an adult. *Insert all the frowny face emojis*

In other news, we're back with another episode! I'm entertaining you all with my sinus journey, but I'm also bringing back some more serious-in-tone topics. This week's in particular is about self-intellectualization. 

Here's topics in this week's episode:

• Seasonal allergies and their insufferable attach on my sinuses 
• Sometimes you need a good rot day - aka being lazy af
• I finally stepped into the Vanderpump Rules world. This should be interesting.
• What is self-intellectualization?  
  • What are examples?
•  Why suppressing or avoiding extreme or intense emotions over time can really affect your emotional,  mental, and physical health
• Difference in self-intellectualization and self-rationalization (they're two different self-defense mechanisms)
• Difference in self-intellectualization and self-awareness (one is healthier than the other)
• What we can do to combat self-intellectualization?
  • Ask yourself, what am I avoiding?
• Lots of self-love "Lizdoms" in this episode 

Remember, things discussed in today's episode should not be considered medical advice and is only for educational purposes. If this episode resonated with you or made you think of someone you may know, I highly encourage you to go talk to a professional. 

Connect with me:
https://in-between.co
@in.betweenpod on Instagram
@elizabethcheney_ on Instagram
@theinbetweenpodcast on TikTok
The In-Between Podcast on YouTube

Transcript

RODECaster Pro Multichannel: 0:05

Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to another episode of the in between. I'm your host Elizabeth Cheney. Y'all Hi, if you can't tell by my voice the seasonal allergies have hit me like a freight train and I say this with so much guts, but because I am uncomfortable To put it lightly, but I'm also extremely ignorant when it comes to taking care of this situation because, well, I have never had seasonal allergies in my life. Apparently, as you get older, it can happen. They can just turn on. It happened to me for the first time last fall. For those who've been with me for the past several months, if you remember before Italy, I got really sick. Well, not sick. I don't want to say I'm sick, but I was struggling with my allergies and it kind of came out of nowhere. Not used to it. I honestly thought it was somehow connected to my neck issues or something like that. But alas, this spring has brought me the most beautiful sinus pressure migraine I could ask for. So Liz, why do you look so rough? Have you been on your deathbed? Have you been cozying? Are you okay? Is your nose raw? Why do you sound so gross? Well, it's because my Insides are leaking and my head feels like a vacuum. So there we are, there we are, but we'll talk more about that here momentarily. Anywho, welcome back to our new episode. Uh, as I said last week, remember the neurodiversity episode is hopefully going to launch next week because I'm recording, uh, the day this comes out. So fingers crossed, your girl has no more technical difficulties on that. also the masters were this weekend and guess what, that is where my knowledge starts and ends. Honestly, the only reason I knew it was the masters is because Heather McMahon went and posted a lot of videos of her outfits. But there was a great SNL episode with Ryan Gosling as the host. Great, great, great. Uh, it was so funny. So, highly recommend. If you're looking for some entertainment, go check out SNL. Ryan Gosling was a gem. He's my boyfriend, my side boyfriend, my side piece, if you know what I mean. I honestly cannot take myself seriously at the moment. I can like hear myself, and I'm not even wearing headphones, so that's funny, but I just give me one second to take a water break. There might be several of those during the duration of this episode, and there's no judgment to be found. Ah, that felt good. Moving on. So masters this weekend, SNL, that's my type of content. Stan got promoted. I mean, last week was a great week for Stan. Our anniversary, his birthday. Wait, that was the week before. I'm an idiot. Well, let's just say April's great for Stan. His birthday, our anniversary, and he also got promoted. So I am glad that he's thriving as his wife sinks into a sinus infection. You know what? It's because Eve ate the apple first. Damn it. Eve just screwed us all. I'm totally kidding. I also got to see, or meet, excuse me, well, I guess see and meet. I don't know why I felt the need to correct myself on that one. But I got to meet my cousin's new, I almost said new cousin. It's a new cousin! Uh, I got to meet my cousin's new baby. Uh, I think I've mentioned this before in the pod, but my cousins and I are really close. It's, I jokingly call them my siblings, even though I know they're not. But I wish they were, because I'm an only child. Uh, but she had her, her baby Theodore and he is so cute. He was born a little early, so he's really tiny, but oh my gosh, he's just a little alien. I love it. You know, I, I feel like baby boys specifically when they're first born look like very grumpy, very grumpy old men. Uh, like the Benjamin Button effect, if you will. I don't know why. They just look so mad. They just look so angry. They're just like frumpin like mmm God Why did you take me out of that comfy belly? I was so comfy. Oh apparently they have lots of feelings about things, but they don't actually communicate them. Typical men. Typical men. I'm just kidding. Baby Theo, you know, I love you. So yeah, that's that on the quick updates on what's going on. Everything's rocking for Stan and Liz is getting sick. So let's talk about these science infections. I went to the Dogwood Festival this weekend. Okay. Love the dogwood festival. I've gone every year of the past couple of years. It's a big art festival here in Atlanta. I always buy art. Have I hung any of it up? Absolutely not. Because I keep thinking to myself, when we get a house, when we get a house. So when we get a house, we're going to have the most epic art wall, walls, plural you've ever seen. Uh, but. Anywho, either way, love going, love getting different art, of course we found some pieces, and Santa and I got up early, walked there, the whole shebang. Run to some friends. Get a drink. All good. All good. Buy an art. Buy an art. And Thursday night, I started to feel a little meh, but again, just a few sniffles. I don't know why I just tried to sniffle on the podcast. I'm sorry. That's gross, you guys. But anyways, a little sniffle here, nothing much, nothing much. Friday, feeling a little sniffly still, a few achoos, but again, nothing serious. Nothing serious. I think I made one comment to Stan. I hope I'm not getting sick, but like, again, I don't get sick ever. So no big deal. Saturday, wake up, go to the dogwood festival. So energized. Your girl's getting her art. We come back and I'm like, man, what I felt yesterday is starting to feel a little worse, but needless to say, I didn't let it bother me. I was going to keep going, keep going. Didn't have a fever. Didn't really feel sick. I just was sneezing a lot. You know what I mean? My throat was a little itchy. just blamed that on the drainage. Well, Go to visit my cousin. She has a cat. I'm allergic to cats. Come home. I am unwell. So, I'm sure the cat allergy only exacerbated it. She also has two really fluffy dogs, who I love, I refuse to believe I'm having some kind of allergic reaction to them, because I'm a dog girl. Although, I am a cat girl recently, too. But like, I can't deny it, that shit I'm allergic to very, very badly. But, uh, the dog, so I don't know if it was the dog date or the cat date or whatever, or really just whatever the hell is blooming in Georgia at the moment. But I came home Saturday night and I was like, Oh, we are not good. We are not good. I was like gagging on my sinus drainage, like I could not sleep. I kept waking up to go like, blow my nose because I was gagging on sinus drainage. And this is gross. I'm very, very aware of it. And I'm very, very sorry. But I was like, Whoa, we took a very hard left turn. Now I can look back on this and see that I was progressively getting worse. But again, I, I, well, I say progressively, that's an exaggeration. I could see a upwards, what's the word it was trending up. There was an upward trend in my sinuses. Well, I woke up Sunday. And I was not good. And I told Stan, I'm having a rot day. I don't even think I've ever had a rot day, but I'm gonna have a rot day. Remember a few weeks ago, I think it was months at this point, but hercule dercle, which is like a little Scottish saying about staying in your bed after you're supposed to get up. And this is not hercule dercle. This is straight up like, I'm not, well, I'm not going to leave this couch and I'm definitely not going outside. My mom had to come bring me meds because I, well, where we live, this is like such a dramatic reason for my mom to bring me meds now that I'm saying this out loud. Oh my God, thank God for my mom. Uh, but, uh, where we live is kind of a maze and our apartment complex put this really poor like system for the locks. It's like an automated, it's called a chirp system. Sure fine, great. It's easier. It's more, it's more secure for, uh, for residents, but. Unless you are like UPS, FedEx, USPS, or say Amazon, like a very common shipping provider, it's impossible to get to my apartment. That's very frustrating. I have complained about it. I have like sent them emails. I even reached out to the organization because I'm like, this does not work for somebody who doesn't have a trip access code. And there's no way for them to like, message me through it to get access. So I always say in the shipping, please call me when you're here and then I'll go out and meet you. Otherwise they just leave your package somewhere randomly and then you have to go through customer service and you have to ask for a refund. It's just, Oh no, fine. Oh my God. So long story short, My complex is the worst when it comes to any kind of deliveries, as long as it's not delivered by the big four. Like I said, UBS, FedEx, USPS, and Amazon. So these little courier services, pfft, not a chance. DoorDash, don't even get me started. So when I'm thinking about Instacarting something, I'm like, this shit's not gonna get here, and I'm definitely not going outside. There's no freaking way, cause outside is what has, like, turned its back on me and done what is happening to me. So, I'm like, Mom, will you please come bring me some medicine? I was already talking to her anyway, but I was like, casual mention, if you want to bring me meds, I'm not going to oppose it. So, thank God she did. I was able to let her in through the chirp because she knows how to use it. So there's that. And just for those who are going, well, where was your husband? He had to go help his dad all day and he was like, are you okay? Are you going to be okay? And I'm like, I don't know. Cause I don't get sick. And it's not that I'm like a baby baby when I get sick, but I mean, let's be real, who isn't a baby when they get sick, but like I don't get sick. So I was not prepared for it, let alone seasonal allergies. So that's not fun. So all day I did not leave the couch and I just rotted. What do you think I did? I decided to watch Trashy TV. Maybe that's not a fair way to describe it, but I watched Vaynerpump Rolls. I decided to sip the Kool Aid. I decided to finally involve myself in a show that everyone and their mother I know talks about that I have not much reference about, except for Skandoval, which I think I kept calling it Skandoval when it first happened, which one of my friends corrected me and I found that very funny. Uh, but other than Skandoval, and like a few of the names of the people, I'm not really familiar with it. So I probably watched Eight hours of vanderpump rules yesterday And today's monday as i'm recording this this was sunday. Okay. Okay. Sorry for my freaking wheezing smokers cough like that's a new development as of today, which that actually gives me hope that maybe i'm getting better side note But anyways, I just want to give you guys a quick few thoughts of like My opinions of Vanderpump Rules as I'm watching it, and keep in mind, this is from 2013, the very first season. Okay? Okay. First off, is Lisa Vanderpump the manager, like the boss, or is she just the owner? Because if she's the boss and the manager, like whatever of the GM of the restaurant, she is a shit leader. I feel like anybody in HR watching that show is having maybe mild, but definitely having a panic attack at some point. She's like instigating the drama, the way she talks to the girls, boys, and she's like, Oh, you know Stassi, you're not nice to Sheena. You know, she's a mean girl. Oh, no, no, no, not Stassi. She's like, Sheena, you can't let these girls treat you like this. You're gonna let them all call over you. And I'm like, is that the best advice your manager should be saying? Oh, they're being mean? Well, girl, toughen up. And then also, Sheena, She what? She tried to mess around. She not tried. She messed around with some housewives. Husband had no idea that he was married. I think it's the guy who's not married to Lee and Rhyme. So clearly like him and his wife didn't work out anyway, but she's weird. She's like, I didn't know. I didn't know he had a wife. I think it was one of the girls was like, don't you have Google? Like you said, he's a famous actor. How would you not know that he is married? I would Google it. I would Google it. So side note, everyone listening, Maybe you should just Google your people. Just, just once, just, just once. Who knows? You never know. I could be saving a life. I could be saving you from heartbreak. I could be saving you from like punching somebody in the face. You know what I mean? So side note, take this moment to Google whoever you're dating to make sure they're not a sociopath or a cheater. So there's that. Um, who else do I got thoughts on? The boys. Yeah. Ugh, I didn't realize Jax was like 32 when this show first came out. I thought they were all like 20s. So why are the women like early 20s and all the men are like early 30s? That creeps me out. And yes Jax, it's freaking weird that you're 32 and you're working at a restaurant and you're a model actor in L. A. who, I don't know. I don't want to shit on a dream. I don't know why I'm being so negative. Just really wasn't into that, but whatever. Honestly, the girls were worse, and I hate even saying that too. And their uniforms were so weird. Like, I remember the episode where they're like, Wow, I'm really just going into a Vanderpump Rules play by play. So for those who are listening who were like me maybe before Sunday, didn't care. And you're like, well, I'm tuning this off. Stay with me because you know what? It was very entertaining. I will not lie. It was super entertaining. So the girls are like trying all these different like uniforms and they look like scarves. If I'm going to be completely honest, like I'm pretty certain it is a scarf, but they're like, Oh, it's a shirt and like share, like how do I bend down? I'm like, yeah, yeah. How do you bend down? And then they're talking about like how they can't wear bras. I don't know. It was very 2013. I'm sure some of this would not fly today, but I also thought Sir was like a nice restaurant. So I was, kind of confused why the girls look so, so trashy. Also, why are their hair not put back? Because like, I'd be like, girl, you can get hair in my food if you don't put that hair to point out. Okay. Okay. Like where is the inspection? Where's the inspector to come say, Hey, Sheena, put that hair up, girl. Saucy. Stop eating on your shift. Where are your, oh, where are your slip proof shoes? Is that not a thing in California? We just wear booties and high heels? Either way, either way. Uh, then my favorite, Stassi. She's insufferable, but all my friends tell me that she gets a lot better and she's much more enjoyable. So I'll hold out for it because I've listened to her podcast before and like, What I hear is not who I'm seeing now. So we're gonna, we're gonna, we'll keep the jury out on that and see if Stassi redeems herself. But yeah, very dramatic, very weird, very like, Eee, eee, eee. Again, just very 2013 problems in my opinion, but Lisa Vanderpump, God, she, uh, she's interesting. She's interesting. I would like to know what she's all about. Like, what's your deal, Lisa? Like, what do you like? Drama? These young people, like, trying to screw each other over, but then also screw each other at the same time. I don't even know where I'm going with this, other than, I am hooked. I'm into it. Stan comes home, and he's like, after eight hours of me watching this stupid show, and he's like, what are you watching? I'm like, don't, don't be mean. Don't be judgy. I didn't say it was Oscar winning acting because y'all, you think that shit's real? I mean, maybe like 40 percent and that's me being very, very like giving is real, but most of that is very situational. You know what I mean? Like they're like putting them in these scenarios for X, Y, Z to happen. They're kind of like reworking a scene like, Oh, hey, can you re say, can you redo that? But like, say it this way too, because it gives a different, like. Perspective or comes across a different way Yeah It's just interesting. So interesting. Anyways, I'm into it. Love it So we'll see how quick she gets to Vanderpump and then we'll see what next show she takes on But anyways, wish your girl luck on this sinus journey I'm very ignorant when it comes to sinuses like I already said Ignorant to sickness, I guess first off but like is this gonna last the whole season? How long is the season? Is it just really bad once whatever blooms blooms and like then it kind of goes away? Am I going to deal with this all summer? Because that's gonna really suck. I don't so much mind the nose being stuffed, but like the pressure migraine, I'm not okay with that. That, I can do without. And then I accidentally bumped my head, I don't even know how it happened, I ran into something, and then like I thought I was gonna pass out. I was like, well, this is fine, the room is spinning, all because, well, my head feels like a vacuum. So, Hopefully this is, well, I'm If Before I say what I'm about to say, I just want to state if what I say is stupid, no judgment, no judgment. Okay. Well, I can't laugh too hard or else I'm just gonna start coughing a lung up. I felt that coming real fast, but I was just going to say, hopefully all this pollen is just a sign that the bees are doing their job. And if that's not true, then I am going to go stick my head into a hole and just never come up for air. And before I get into today's topic, the last little thing I wanted to say was, as always, Tik Tok serving me great content, learning more about my ADHD and things like that. And this person started off their Tik Tok with like, how do I know you have ADHD? And I was like, Ooh, I love these things because this is like these kinds of videos are where I learn about myself. Like, Oh, that's an ADHD thing. That's great. Like, I saw one of these ones and it was like women or. Women specifically but it was a chick and she kept running into things and she's like you might be ADHD if and I'm like Whoa, I do that. I run into things all the time and then I'm like godless Do you not have any self awareness of like your body and the movement and where objects are is referenced to you? Apparently is an ADHD thing. Don't know why but I'll I'll take it. I'll take it But two things in particular, this person pointed out in this video that I was like, Oh my gosh, checkbox slam dunk. Yes. Yes. Is that me? What is Elizabeth Cheney for 400 one slow walkers? Just making you want to commit violence. Yes. I feel that didn't know that was an ADHD thing, but I, how do I say this? I know it's not logical, but being behind a slow walker infuriates me to my core. I just like, get out of my way, get out of my way. Now I have patience and understanding. Where I don't have patience and understanding for slow walkers is when you are taking up, like you're in the middle of a big sidewalk and you are just moseying along. I got places to go. Remember in Alice in Wonderland when the white rabbit is like, I'm late. I'm late for an important date. I feel that to my core. Am I running late every time? No, but like I am a get from A to B as quick as possible. Kind of girly as much as they come. So I am walking with purpose and efficiency and effectiveness. Get out of my way. Get out of my way. I don't have time for slow walkers. I don't have time for it. And yeah, when I get stuck behind them, Like, if I could have a human horn, like, beep beep, that'd be so weird if I just did that. Maybe I will do that next time, but, like, it'd be great to have, like, a human horn, like, beep beep. Excuse me. Pardon me. Let the psychopath get through. Thank you very much. And I am obviously being satirical in all this. People can walk at their own freaking paces. And I'm not trying to be, like, ableist or anything like that. Like, hello, my mother is disabled, so please don't take it that way. I am just being funny, inventing that slow walkers make me want to commit violence. But it's an ADHD trait. Mostly because I'm probably thinking in one way or the other. Oh my god, I got so much to do. This person's holding me back from getting there. To do the things I have to do. But then the real question is, when you get there, wherever there is, do you do the things? And I'm gonna leave that unanswered. But the other thing she said that I was like, whoa, that hits real hard too, is she talked about tasks versus habits. Everything's a task. ADHD does not have the, the, uh, People with ADHD do not have the understanding or, which is not understanding, but it was like, we don't view them as habits. What's a habit? Like brushing our teeth. That's a task. Washing our face. That's a task. They're not habits. It's not routines. It's tasks. And I thought, damn. That hits. And is that why I have such a hard time committing to routine or like sticking with habits? Granted, I know I've come a long way, so I'm not trying to like, you know, say I feel all over the place all the time. Still, no, there is definitely some foundation to our lives. Yeah, we got there. But I do still struggle with like routines to an extent. Or maybe I should rephrase that and say, I still view like what I thought was a routine very much as a task, so I think that hits. I think that's accurate. Everything is a task. Doesn't mean I'm not going to do it, but maybe that explains why this whole concept of routine slash habit is a little loss in translation in my brain. So, uh, that felt good. So thank you TikTok for yet again, showing this neurodiverse girly. Her ADHD tendency. Okay, again, I can't laugh because I'm gonna cough. Hold on. Actually, I think I do need to cough. See when I cough, it like, womp womps the pressure of the head. We're doing good. We're doing good. This is why I didn't dress up for you all today. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna be authentic. I'm gonna embrace how I feel and I'm gonna show up at the pod. So that's why I got hair and scrunchie. I got no makeup on. I did put earrings on. This is me dressing up for you. I'm wearing a big hoodie from chicks in the office. And I'm wearing glasses because my eyes hurt. So there's that. There is that. Alright, so enough rambling. Hopefully you've been giggling with all my life updates. And if you are struggling with seasonal allergies, 1. I feel for you. My heart goes out to you. 2. If you're not an idiot like me and you have tips and tricks, please send them to me at in. betweenpod on Instagram or at the inbetweenpodcast on TikTok. I need all the tips. I need all the tricks. I need to get over this as quick as possible because I don't like it. I don't like it. Again, I don't like slow walkers because they hold me back. I don't like seasonal allergies because it's holding me back. So, uh, there we go. Tomato, tomato. Not even tomato, tomato. They're the same. So now we're gonna transition into a less silly topic, but don't worry. It's not like it's something serious and uncomfortable, but since the podcast has grown more and I'm doing more with it, more production, I'm learning more. The website, I think I've talked about this all before, there's certain things that I used to do a lot. More of you know early last year 2022 that I don't do as much anymore and one of those things is reading I'm trying to get back into it. I'm trying to tell my ADHD self You don't have to do all the tasks Cuz that's another thing about ADHD people like we got to do everything and it's gonna be done now Anyways, I digress so Reading. I love reading, as you can tell. Look at this library! Look at how she loves reading. These are not just like, you know, uh, props. I really do enjoy reading, but I have not read as much as I would like. I mean, I used to read like 25 books a year, which I've seen people who read double, triple that. So if you're like, oh, snap, Liz, that's a lot. It is a lot. But like last year, I think I read seven. So we gotta get better at that. But when I read a lot, I would get lots of inspiration for episode content, and I'm not necessarily, I'm not necessarily, I am not an expert in anything other than self love and maybe, uh, self depreciating humor. But then again, I'd argue a lot of us are really well versed in that. Um, I just did a peace sign, now there's balloons. So if you're watching this, well, the balloons weren't intentional, but, uh. Huzzah! Anyways, so with the reading topics, I would learn and if I found something interesting, I'd want to share it with the podcast. Uh, like one example off top of mind is, uh, our relationship with time. I still love that episode. I love that book, but that was a, that was a book I read, very inspired by, and I wanted to share the concepts of the book with the pod. Wow. Really going into detail here. So, When I wanted to start incorporating more of me, and like my life, and updates, and humor, and things like that, Uh, I kinda, I don't want to say stepped away from that, but it wasn't as much as my focus. And then, you know, Luna got sick, and my whole world turned upside down, and then she died, and then like life's, you know, we're just deeply grieving and all that fun shit. So I say all this to kind of give you a little history of the in between, like where my episode inspiration comes from. Uh, and then just to say that I like sharing with you guys my life. I like giving you updates. I like being funny. I want to be that in between, no pun intended, but the in between of enlightenment and entertainment. I want you to be empowered by, I want you to also giggle. I want you to feel seen and validated, but I also want you to be like, Oh yeah, yeah. F that shit girl. You know what I mean? Like I want the, I want the best of both worlds. Like, uh, your internet best friend, your podcast, best friend, whatever you want me to be for you to an extent. Cause I don't want this to get creepy or weird or illegal. So there's that, so I decided for this week, I was like, I'm going to go back to my big book of ideas. And for those who are ADHD, you know what that means. It means it's a bunch of random post it notes, notes scribbled on my whiteboard, things on my phone, word docs. Galore on my laptop and things in my journal, in my notebook. So yes, my big book of ideas is spread out between at least 13 to 15 mediums, if you will. So anywho, I was looking at a topic that my therapist and I had talked about several, several months ago, and it's called Self Intellectualization. Lemme say that one more time because I don't even know if that word came out right, because it is a mouthful. Self intellectualization. Wow, now I can't even say it. Self intellectualization. Okay, I had to close my eyes to say that. Ha ha! Anywho, what is self intellectualization? In psychology, now actually, let me just stop real quick. I want everyone to know that I am not an expert. I am not a therapist, I'm not a counselor. Just because I'm really interested in this stuff does not mean I'm a medical professional. So anything I say, do not construe it as me giving you health advice. If it, if it hits, if it goes, Oh, something inside me just said that might be me or that might be my friend or my partner or my sibling, I don't know. Go talk to somebody. Go do your own research. I am just a vehicle of ideas and thoughts in a stream of consciousness to provide you, what I say, enlightenment and entertainment once a week. So, uh, again. This is not medical advice. I don't want to get sued on that note. Let's get a little more serious. So self intellect, intellectualization, y'all, I'm going to struggle with that word. I can already tell you that and I said it 12, 000 times before this episode, trying to get prepared. All right, go easy on me. So it's psychology. a type of defense mechanism that explains our subconscious. It's just like psychological strategy people use for managing anxiety and other uncomfortable emotions. So, when someone intellectualizes, emotions seem like obstacles. So they shut them out in favor of being emotionally detached, rational, and, well, intellectual. That's where the term comes from. Intellectualization isn't necessarily always a bad thing because it can help you get through immediate trouble or give you time to process whatever it is that's going on. So maybe you can't, in that moment, process the uncomfortable or extreme or big emotion situation that's happening. Uh, you're going to process it later, but that's intellectualization. So like, another way to describe it is, intellectualization is looking at things objectively, um, as a means to distance ourselves from emotions. So we're, we're shifting the focus. These defense mechanisms, real quick, I just want to give you, like, Some facts. They were coined by Sigmund Freud, and his research along with his daughter, Anna, um, Anna, Anna. I'm not sure how she says it, Freud. I haven't talked to her lately. But, uh, she is the one who coined the term intellectualization. And I just want to say do not get this confused with rationalization, which is another term, like another self defense mechanism term. Rationalization is justifying what occurred. So it blends facts with desires, behaviors, or emotion. So Rationalization, justifying what occurred. Because my partner left me, but you know what, that's okay. I'm going to be better off being single because of X, Y, Z, L, M, N, O, P. That's me justifying it. Intellectualization is shifting the focus. So rather than focusing on, Oh, my partner left me. I'm heartbroken. I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm scared. I'm not going to find somebody again. And I'm not trying to be dramatic. Come on, think about it. When this has happened, like that's a very common inter narrative spiral, right? Negative pattern, thought pattern. instead it's talking about the facts. I'm going to think about this objectively. Well, you know, Maybe they weren't a good partner for X, Y, Z reason. You are shifting the focus from your pain and hurt of being dumped to like the facts, the rationale, the intellect of it because I don't want to process these emotions. Hopefully I'm not butchering this. I want to bring it up because if you're not aware of this, if you're aware that you're intellectualizing, it can lead to emotional avoidance that often can become habitual and it can hurt the healing process. So, I forget what my therapist and I were talking about that brought this up, but it was interesting because I thought self intellectualization would be something like self awareness and that's completely different. Self awareness is managing emotions, your behaviors, understanding how you come across, you're connected to your emotions and your sense of self. So I would say, and I'm going to say it confidently, I have really strong self awareness. I have done the work. I continue to do the work. I know I'm not perfect, but that's part of self awareness, but I know I'm damn freakin fantastic. That's self awareness. Again, managing my emotions. I'm familiar with my emotions. I'm aware of my emotions. I am cognizant of my sense of self. Okay? As opposed intellectualization, which is that disconnected, from your emotions, you're focusing on logic. Which is, uh, Hearing me say that, you might think, well, what, what's wrong with that? Like sometimes emotions are too much and we need logic. Absolutely. But to me, logic and emotion have to go together I mean, logic can be interpretive based on your perspective, One can justify logic and not be logical because maybe they're not thinking of an emotional reference or, a demographic of a person that might affect. but I think emotion and logic kind of have to live together. In a healthy way, but that is very, very hard to get to and one thing that I've read in all my research with self intellectualization is When they're talking about that logic and emotional kind of happy place equilibrium they mention it takes time to get to that point because You have a certain inner narrative, right? We've talked about this before, how your negative inner narrative, is what your brain thinks is the best path forward because it's what it's used to. So, I don't want to get off topic, I can already feel like I could with that. So I want to bring it back, the negative scary part Where self intellectualization can be harmful and can affect your mental health is when it becomes habitual and unchecked. So, you're distancing yourself from your emotions. I want to give you some examples of what self intellectualization looks like. One, let's say somebody close to you has died. Let's say your partner, your spouse has passed away. Intellectualization can look like instead of Focusing on your grief, instead of processing your emotions and the pain of the loss, you're busying yourself with funeral arrangements, this and this, that and that. You are focusing on the details, you are running away and ignoring your dark, deep, overwhelming emotions. And sometimes, yes, like I already mentioned, we have to momentarily step away, but the immediate startup, oh, let's like decompress, compartmentalize. Like, for example, the funeral arrangements, you start, doot, doot, dat, doot, doot, doot, I'm not even gonna focus on the fact that I just lost my partner. I just lost whoever was close to me. So that's an intellectualization example. Another one would be, I say childhood trauma. an example that I read, this I think was a Psychology Today article. And it was like a therapist who wrote the article person was saying that they had childhood trauma, a therapist was seeing them each week. When they would get to a conversation point to talk about the childhood trauma, the person would just make excuses of the, of the parent involved. Oh, well, things were different when they were growing up. Oh, they had an abusive parent. they were trying to shift the focus from their trauma and their pain to excuses or logic as not, I would say excuses, but their own logic as to why whatever happened to them happened. You are ignoring your emotions. You are negating how you're feeling. So you are just suppressing, suppressing, suppressing. And I think I've talked about this before, but if I haven't, let me say it for the people louder in the back. If you suppress your emotions, especially extreme ones, it is not gonna be good. And I I do say that confidently because one, I've seen it myself, I have seen it happen to others and it's so real. And the thing about it is when you suppress it for too long and you try to logic your way out of it because you don't want to touch those scary dark emotions, then your perspective and your, your logic, quote, end quote, for those watching, I put in quote marks, but Become skewed and flawed because your perspective is off. Your perception of self. Remember we talked about self awareness and intellectualization, self awareness. You have a strong sense of self intellectualization when it's been going on way too long and now you are disconnected from your sense of self. I hit the childhood trauma one because that's the one where I see it the most and maybe not even childhood trauma, but like trauma all together. You. Don't want to face those scary, hard, overwhelming emotions and reasonably so. You don't wanna face them on your own. So you just like you, like I said, you, you suppress, you read books, you do this, you logic your way out of it. Oh well, I am the way I am. Um, another way to describe intellectualization is being stagnant. Okay, you can read all the books, read all the things, self diagnose all you want. But until you start handling and addressing the emotional aspect of whatever issue is that you're it's not going to get better. a few things that you can do to combat Intellectualizing your emotions or what's the word I'm looking for your circumstances, naming emotions. So another example of intellectualizing. Our, our sense of self, our emotions. Um, you say things like, Oh, I'm just tired. Oh, I'm distressed. Rather than actually admitting to yourself, what is bothering you? That negates what we're really feeling. We are a bandaid. We are just putting a little, uh, a little pat on the head, a little safety net. We're not really addressing the root problem because emotions not addressed over time will manifest into anxiety, depression, and they can also manifest into more severe things like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, like shit doesn't play. Like we have to be mindful of our emotions. Our emotions are a part of us. It's, it's what helps us understand things, understand what we're going through, process what we're going through. If you remove that because, well, you don't, it's overwhelming or it's, you don't want to face it or you've been doing it for so long, you've like, you have no connection to yourself. How do you think that's going to help you grow? How is that going to help get you from A to B? How is that going to help you get through whatever in between you're navigating? It's not. It's not. And I want to say, but I know I'm getting kind of like intense about it, but I just want to say again, like we probably all intellectualize at some point or in the process of whenever we hit major shit. But you have to get back on the emotional horse, so to speak. You have to not be afraid to face that demon, face those skeletons in your closet, because, you know, chances are the things that you have ignored for so long and intellectualized, you're Perception and sense of self is probably so skewed, what you believe, I would argue is farther from the truth, is so far from the truth it's not even, it's not even a thing. So if you think about that, why would you hold on to something that you are? Hurting yourself on, like the example about the childhood trauma, you know, saying, well, my parent did this because, well, they were raised this way. Their parents abused them. Like I'm giving you logic and reshifting the focus from my pain as to why they do what they do. it's not about my pain and what they did to me, how it affected me. It's going, well, I'm going to ignore my pain because, well, they did this because of what happened to them. No, no, no, no, no. But we're not, no. That can be a thing. The parents having had their own shit when they were raised, that can still be held space. I can still hold space, but yet the bigger issue or the bigger concern or the bigger thing to tackle is how it affected you. What happened to you? What did you go through? So naming emotions is one way you can work on this. When something happens, when you find yourself logic ing, logic ing, I just made that word up, but whatever, when you logicizing, is that a word? I want to say that more than intellectualize, good lord, have mercy. But, naming your emotions, like when you find yourself intellectualizing, running away, ignoring, suppressing, focusing on the explanation, the logic, and taking the emotion out of it, work on naming the emotion. One prompt that I saw on psychology today was ask yourself, what am I avoiding? I was like, Ooh, that's good. Another big reason why I want to bring this up is if you are intellectualizing, you're going to see a lot of repeat patterns. You're going to see a lot of the same shit happening in your life. You're going to, you might even ask yourself, damn, like I feel like this always happens to me. Why do I feel like this always happens to me? Why? And then maybe you go and you spiral and yeah, you do your research like, Oh, well, it's because of X, Y, Z. Oh, I researched this. Oh, I'm going to research every single ailment under the sun associated with this. Rather than look at what the root cause could be coming from. let's say childhood trauma. You suppress that for too long, it's going to manifest in all of these physical, yes, physical and mental concerns slash issues. Okay. So then you start reading about, well, my attachment style. Oh, maybe this, oh, I have anxiety. Oh, I have depression. I'm going to read about all these different things about myself. And then I'm going to see all the subtext that points to maybe trauma or whatever the hell. And then, well, not address it. And then ask myself, why am I not getting better? Why are things getting worse? The bigger, the emotion, the more suppression, the worse it's going to turn out. I was saying all of this because. If I could have a superpower, I would make every single person love themselves authentically, wholeheartedly, and in a way that they could look at their demons. They could look at the sour spots in their past. They can look at their upbringing or whatever it is that they judge themselves for, and they can say, Oh. I still love that version of myself. I'm going to heal that version of myself. I want to nurture that version of myself, rather than run away, ignore, and turn their head. Every version of you is worthy of love, even the ones that you're not proud of, the ones you're scared to face. And chances are that fear that you may feel now is not where the true fear should be projected. You're dead. You are not less than your emotions are worthy. You are worthy of feeling feelings. I know horrible things can happen, but the longer you go without processing it, the longer you go by ignoring it is suppressing it. It's not going to be great. If any of this ring a bell, if any of this maybe hit a box, hit a nerve, hit a feeling, hit an emotion, I want you to ask yourself, what am I avoiding when it comes up again? And I want you to work on naming your emotions. I mean, I don't consider myself as someone who self intellectualizes, at least definitely not anymore, but even I felt a little, uh, I don't want to say called out cause that's the wrong word, but I don't like, Oh, I kind of do that sometimes. I will. I am definitely one of those people who will be like, Oh, I'm just tired. I'm just this. I'm just that. I do that all the time. So see, this can happen on a small scale, big scale. It doesn't matter. I know I've mentioned a lot about. Toddhood trauma, maybe ignoring or grieving a death in the family, things like that. Like these are very serious, big things. I encourage you to talk to somebody. I am a big fan of therapy. Big, big therapy girl. Okay. Big therapy girly. Love it for myself. Love it. I want everyone to be in therapy. I don't think you have to have any major fricking issue to be in therapy. Therapy helps you understand yourself, other people, situations, all the things. But, in all seriousness, if you are dealing with heavy levels of self intellectualization, if you thought to yourself hearing this episode, ooh, that's me, I, I definitely disconnect from my emotions. I definitely try to stay away from them. I definitely don't want to face that music because I'm scared. I am so scared. Talking to someone will help. I mean, I don't want to get too preachy on this, but first off, they're trained professionals. They know how to deal with these issues. They're not just some random chick on a podcast talking about it from her own research and what her therapist said. They went to school and really know how to help you combat the issues that are causing you to self intellectualize. I know therapy can be scary and overwhelming for a lot of people, especially because, well, I don't understand it. Like talking about your emotions is uncomfortable. I, uh, I get it. I get it. at least I can understand that. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I'm somebody who has always been like, Here are my emotions, up my sleeves. But I understand a lot of people don't have, uh, don't really like that. maybe it's cause I was a theater girl, I was an actress, I was an actor, I don't know. don't be afraid. To go into that closet and start cleaning it out. Clean out the skeletons. Go look at yourself in the mirror because at the other side of this, on the other side of this self intellectualization, getting back in touch with your emotions especially about the thing that's causing you to intellectualize. You're going to look in that mirror and not see a monster or see darkness or see emptiness. You're going to see. Beauty, and light, and warmth, and just love. Self love. And maybe not overnight, but you're gonna get there. You are incredible. I don't even have to know you to know that. I don't know if anyone needed to hear this particular message today, but I felt called to talk about it. Uh, I don't know if called is the right word. That sounded a little biblical. That was not what I meant. Oh, the Lord put it in me and I am here. No, I joke about the whole big book of ideas and the multiple post it notes being ADHD. This particular. Topic has been on a post it note on my desk for almost six months just sitting there staring at me and For whatever reason I felt like I should talk about this week So maybe you're the one that needs to hear it and if so, I'm proud of you I'm proud of you for listening to this and thinking. Oh my god. This is me I promise whatever it is you are Turning away from you're not processing It doesn't make you a bad person. It doesn't make you less of a person. And like I said on the other end of that growth and healing is Beauty and light and green grasses and meadows and rainbows and butterflies and all of the good things your favorite meal The warmest fuzzy warm feeling ever the Ryan Gosling of it all I promise Remember what I said was the last week week before last lord how I don't even know i'm always talking about it but We're here for a blip of time. Seriously, a speck? It's a speck! We're here for a speck! I don't mean that depressingly. I don't even mean it existentially. We're just here for a speck. Why suffer? That's all I want you to ask yourself. Why suffer? We're here for a speck. Let's make the most beauty of our speck of existence as possible. That's what I'm gonna try to do. So, uh, yeah. We're That's your Liz dom for the week. on that note, I love you guys so much. I feel very energized and, uh, after today's episode, so maybe, maybe talking about this got me over the sinus hump. I'm just kidding. I am now intellectualizing, I guess, because I'm ignoring the fact that now I'm still very much sick and my head is very much going, bop, bop, bop, bop! But, uh, a serious note, I really, really appreciate you all being here today. I really hope you enjoyed today's episode, and hey, even if it didn't resonate with you, maybe you know somebody. Share it with somebody. again, I just want us all to love ourselves. Authentically, fully and wholeheartedly because, uh, we're deserving of it. We're freaking great. We're freaking awesome. that's what I got to say about it all. So thank you for joining me on another episode of the in between. If you're not doing so already follow me on Instagram at in dot between pod and my personal at Elizabeth Cheney underscore, and then you can follow me on YouTube and tick tock at the in between podcast. I appreciate all of you beautiful people so, so much. Thank you so much for listening. And, uh, hopefully next week I'll be back with my neurodiversity episode. Fingers crossed. Just kidding. I'm going to manifest that shit. She got it. She got it. Okay. And on that note, I'm going to go eat. Cause I'm also starving, even though I can't taste anything because I'm so congested, but I will see you on an all new episode of The Inbetween next week. Until then, I'm your host, Elizabeth. Bye.