Empowerment through AllGo: Vision for a Size-Friendly World

Ever been caught in an uncomfortable situation just because you're in a larger body? Want to find places where you can be comfortable without the fear of judgment? Our guest for today, Nyemade, shares her experiences that led her to join the team of AllGo, a Yelp-like review app designed specifically for fat people. Born out of her and AllGo founder, Rebecca's, struggles to find non-fat phobic doctors and other services, AllGo aims to create a world where people of all sizes can be comfortable. 

Nyemade takes us on a journey from her early years in Liberia, refugee experiences, and her eventual move to the US. We discuss her vision for AllGo and the potential it has in not only providing a much-needed service, but also in combating the societal stigma that fat people often face. We delve into the revenue streams for the app, the significant differences between AllGo and the National Plus Guide, and the promising future of AllGo. 

Our conversation goes deeper as we explore AllGo's potential in promoting mental wellness and self-advocacy. Nyemade enlightens on how the app can support inclusivity, and help users to stand up for their needs in uncomfortable situations. We also touch on societal pressures around body weight, health, and the judgment and misunderstanding that follow. Finally, we take a brief detour into the world of kink, discussing how online platforms like Fetlife can assist in exploring sexuality. Tune in and get ready to see the world through a different lens.

Transcript

Chrystal: 0:04

Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. I'm Crystal, I'm Merf. We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month. We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community cannabis, cvd you name it. We're going to talk about it. We are very excited to have you a part of our community. Welcome and enjoy. Hey there. Welcome back to Big Sexy Chat. We're so excited to have you here, hey, Merf.

Merf: 0:34

Hi, how's it going?

Chrystal: 0:35

Fantastic. How are you doing?

Merf: 0:37

I'm doing well, I'm really excited for tonight.

Chrystal: 0:40

Me too, and we have a lovely guest, , and she's here to represent AllGo. I'm going to say the Yelp for Fat People, although I'm sure you know this. At most business owners hate Yelp, but as a business owner, we have to be in bed with them. So we don't really want to compare you to Yelp, but it's kind of to give people an idea. It's like Yelp for fatties and I always say this about Yelp as a business owner, we have to be in bed with Yelp, but they're not my favorite lover at all. But yeah, we love it, we love what you're doing. This is so wonderful, so welcome.

Nyemade: 1:14

Hello, thank you so much for having me, and you know what? That's not a terrible way to describe it. It's how we describe it as well, because that's the easiest way to get people to understand what we're talking about. That we're at that friendly review app.

Chrystal: 1:28

Yep, I love that. So tell us a little bit about your name before we get started. And you're with the company called AllGo, and is it AllGo app now or just AllGocom?

Nyemade: 1:37

It's AllGoAppcom, or what our previous login was, canweallgocom, so some people may know it's from that as well and that link still works on. So as far as my name, my name is . It means mother of Nima. Nima is a popular boy name in Liberia, which is where I was born. I was born in Liberia, but there was the Civil War, so I lived in a refugee camp in Ghana for a while and then I came to the US and I've been here since I was five.

Chrystal: 2:07

It's not every day that you meet somebody from Liberia. No.

Nyemade: 2:12

Unless, apparently, you're in, like certain areas of the country or big pocketfuls of film. It's very interesting.

Chrystal: 2:17

I'm sure. So I know that Rebecca, who is the CEO of AllGo I know she to get this off the ground, I think, like in 2018 or 2019, she did an Indiegogo, I think, to raise awareness and raise money to create this app. And then we had the pandemic and yeah, anyway, I know y'all are still out there. You don't really, you can't really go to, can I go? I don't think I can go to Google Play and go download the app right now.

Nyemade: 2:43

right, Not yet. That's what we're working on right now Awesome.

Chrystal: 2:47

So , I know that Rebecca. Is it Rebecca Alexander? Yes, Rebecca started Indiegogo, she created AllGo and then I know it's somewhere in there you became a member and a part of the AllGo app. How did that happen?

Nyemade: 3:03

Tell us what you do there, and I know you're fairly new to AllGo right, I am, so it's a bit of a story, so we'll reel it back. So, yes, you're right, she created the app before the pandemic and it was going great because it's definitely something that's needed we were talking about earlier with comparing it to Yelp. It takes forever to try to search through Yelp. I don't know about you guys, but I was like looking at pictures, like are there arms on chairs? Do this aisles look wide enough? Like it's just so much extra work that it'd be great to go to a place that already had one of those. So she was creating it and it was getting off the ground and then the pandemic happened. But before it happened, I was because I'm a freelance writer as well. I had written for AllGo, so we had like briefly connected and around the same time, I had actually started creating what's called National Plus Guide. What was called National Plus Guide because I moved to Delaware in 2019 or 2018. Yeah, and it was just so hard trying to find a non-fat phobic doctor, like just we. I mean, if you're listening to this and you're in a body that's even slightly bigger than normal normal quote, unquote you know what it's like. So, trying to find a not, and I was like I just wish there was a place I could go to find this information and there wasn't. So I originally wanted to make like a medical resource and then I was like, well, what about all the other things? So that became National Plus Guide.

Nyemade: 4:29

Fast forward to the pandemic. I had been working with my business partner, janet. She had come on and we were working on it together. Unfortunately, last year she passed away very unexpectedly, which is really hard for me. I put the business sort of on pause and was trying to kind of gather myself like that. Last year someone very close to Rebecca and who was up in her business as well asked also. So she has had, you know, a lot of grief and been trying to deal with that as well. Towards the end of last year I was like, okay, I think I'm ready to sort of start my business back up.

Nyemade: 5:08

But it was hard for me because I don't really love the technical side of things. Like, I know it's needed. I knew we needed the director, I knew we needed an app. I want to like make reels and make YouTube videos and interview people and build community, and so for me, janet and I were perfect, because Janet took care of the more technical things and I could do the more creative side of things.

Nyemade: 5:30

So when I decided I was ready to come back and to try to build things back up, I got in touch with Tigris, who's the executive director of NAPA. Janet had been writing for them for a while and I connected because I do a lot in the mental health area as well the mental health advocate. So we had connected about me writing for them about mental health and while we were talking, she had mentioned Rebecca and Alicia and Friendly like me and I'll go and was wondering if we wanted to all connect and maybe do like a YouTube about it, which you know because sometimes you're like, oh no, if we have similar products, we don't want to. I was like, no, let's do this, I love this. So we connected and during the conversation I found out about Rebecca and her partner and it turns out that she was on the more creative side of her side of things and because Rebecca is more technical and I was on the more creative side, so the three of us actually had a call after the YouTube and we were just talking and you know she asked me like what I liked, about what I did, if I would ever change positions, if I ever wanted to.

Nyemade: 6:36

Basically, I was like yes, please, I don't want to deal with any of the technical stuff. I believe in it, which is why I created it, but I want to do creative stuff and marketing and content. And she was like wonderful, because I know all the needs, that, but I don't want to do any of that. So beautiful partnership and it's really been a joy working with her. It really has.

Chrystal: 6:57

So A I'm very sorry for your loss and for Rebecca's loss. Not to derail this conversation, but I'm kind of the grief counseling pusher. A lot of loss in my life and I always say the best gift I ever gave myself is going to grief counseling. And a lot of people might not know this, or people are listening to this. You know you might not know this, but a lot of people, a lot of companies or what you call it mental health facilities that offer hospice care and things like that, they often offer free grief counseling for a year, as long as you start it within one year of the person passing. So I pushed out on a lot of people because, like I said, it was the best gift I ever gave myself. Also, Merf, do you want to tell us a little bit about what you?

Merf: 7:38

do. Oh, so I'm a licensed therapist and so when you were saying that you wrote about mental health and that you're a mental health advocate, I was like, yeah, like that's amazing, that's my bread and butter.

Chrystal: 7:52

And I love that Allgo is using your platform for that as well. But I want to just say something about if there's too many, too much competition. I don't believe in competition. There's enough for everybody. Your product will resonate with some people and someone else's product will resonate with somebody else. Okay, there's nine billion people on the planet and you're going to find your niche, I know you will, so I don't even worry about that kind of stuff. But again, I'm really sorry. I know it's tough stuff and as if the pandemic and the shutdown wasn't hard enough.

Nyemade: 8:23

So very sorry. Yeah, well, thank you. Thank you so much for that and yes, I agree with all of that with the grief, counseling and therapy. I'm a huge advocate for therapists and I also agree about the. I always say collaboration, not competition, because you just get so much further and, like you said, there's so many people in this world like and you don't even need that many people to be truly successful. When you look at the whole pie of the world, it's like this tiny little bitch and there's enough for everybody to get a tiny little bit and still be wildly successful Exactly.

Chrystal: 8:57

So let's say I know I'm kind of, you know, retentive. If I'm going somewhere new a restaurant, doctor's office, a movie theater, try to go see a concert the first thing I do is what I know all their fatties do Go, look for their Google reviews, google photos, their website and their Yelp reviews and their Yelp photos and scan through a million photos until I find one that has chairs with no arms, booths that have the table that moves, like all the things that we all do to prepare to go somewhere, which is already not easy in a fat body. But then when you go there and you don't fit in anything, you really feel unwelcome and that's what I'll go is attempting to try and yeah, just to make the process of finding it easier and to make it more comfortable for people to go out.

Nyemade: 9:42

Now, obviously, instantly, whenever you're trying to do something that positive people say you're glorifying obesity and it's like, well, why are you trying to glorify them not having spaces?

Nyemade: 9:53

But the truth is, when people have a way to go out that they feel comfortable, they're more likely to actually go out, and so it's not even just an app for people in larger bodies, but their friends and family as well.

Nyemade: 10:07

Like I know, there are times where people have invited me to things where I've said no, not because I don't want to go, but because I looked at the surroundings and it was just not going to be a place that was comfortable for me or have the right seating. And you know, yes, you could tell your family and friends that, but, like that's embarrassing too. So it'd be nice, though, if they, if they, automatically thought of it. But even if they didn't, if they could be like all right, well, at least I know if I go and pick up somewhere from this app, it's going to be a place that my family or friend will feel comfortable with, and that's not glorifying obesity, that's helping people get out of the house more. We want people to go and live life to the fullest, which means going out and doing things, and that's easier when you know you're going to feel comfortable.

Chrystal: 10:48

When we had Aubrey Gordon come on the show we were like brainstorming, like what kind of benefits do we get for being fat and glorifying? And like nothing. Oh, do we get to go into the club early or first? Do we get first line in line for drinks? Do we get free drinks? No, none of that. We're not trying to bring anybody to our over, to our fat side. We're just glorifying, living right now exactly as you are. And also, if you hate fatty so much, maybe help us get out of the house and go do things and be a part of society and maybe go for a walk or go to a park. And the amount of invitations I have turned down to go to comedy shows and to concerts are too sad to admit. And it's kind of sad because my friends want to invite me and I'm just like I don't always make an excuse because I know I'm not going to fit into any of the chairs there.

Nyemade: 11:39

Yeah, and as a theater junkie a musical theater junkie and theater kids it literally breaks my heart that I haven't been to see a live theater show because those seats, like they are not colored any, most of them are in older theaters. You know, at least movie theaters now have bigger seats a little bit Some of them do, but theater theaters still don't, and so it makes me sad. I mean, thank goodness they stream stuff now, but it's unfortunate.

Chrystal: 12:04

Merve, what were you going to ask?

Merf: 12:05

her. So I'm curious, just talking a little bit about trolls and those kind of issues, with people saying, like glorifying obesity, tell me a little bit about, like, the moderation of this app, because I imagine you know, if a troll were to access that or you know that kind of thing, what's is it curated? Can anybody put anything on there? Like, tell me a little bit more about that?

Nyemade: 12:32

Yeah, so you know we'll have to create a profile and then, once you have your profile, you'll be able to go in, make reviews, things like that. So I mean, obviously there's going to be those trolls who want to make the profile and go through all the steps, but hopefully it won't be as much and it will be moderated so we will remove unpleasant things.

Chrystal: 12:54

We had a good laugh with Big Thig Mattress, and how they go after the trolls on their socials is pretty awesome. They don't play and they fight back.

Nyemade: 13:05

Oh yeah, that probably would be more Rebecca's attitude towards it, like I'm all don't give them attention, don't reward bad behavior. Rebecca's like no, we're not having it so like we are. So it amazes me how ying and yang we are, but it works. But it's very interesting because this summer, actually, I went out to Portland to spend a month with her working on app stuff and that was our first time really actually spending time together. Everything had been virtual before then. So it was cool, so it's interesting.

Chrystal: 13:36

She's a cool chick. I remember when she was on the cover of the New York Times.

Merf: 13:41

Yeah, the chairs.

Chrystal: 13:42

Yeah, that was cool, yeah, good stuff. So you are all goes content manager. Is that your title?

Nyemade: 13:49

Chief marketing officer. Now. I was chief content officer but we changed it just because I'm doing so much more in the role and also some people don't know what to keep. Content officer means it's just easier to do chief marketing.

Chrystal: 14:01

So what is all go? So will you guys be able to sell like ads and things like that, so you can make money that way?

Nyemade: 14:10

Yes, so we hopefully will have a few different streams of revenue. Obviously the ads for the app, people having like selling their the ads to be on the app. We hopefully want to try to get some good sponsorships. We'd love to collaborate with some businesses to really make like that friendly, that accessible stuff. Like Rebecca's done so much research, even just on like the cars and the car industry and the seating and how much they've grown or not grown and which cars have better things.

Nyemade: 14:42

So like things like that, we want to try working on getting some good sponsorships so that we can help people know the resources that are out there. But then so we can also turn around and sponsor some plus size events. We've been doing a little bit of it but we're still trying to fundraise for our apps so we get too much. But as it grows, that's something that we definitely want to make sure that we're doing. That we've had conversations about. We really want to pour back into the communities, so other businesses, organizations that are trying to do like that friendly, plus size, friendly events and stuff. We want to be able to sponsor them. So hopefully we'll grow into that as our community grows, both in the app and on our social media side of things. I'm really trying to grow our series on YouTube and things like that.

Chrystal: 15:29

Yeah, I want to come back to this seriously. I was checking that out, but two things First of all, you're going to get Adrian and team's Philly Fat Con and then you're probably also going to be at Pucks and team's Fat Con in Seattle. Yay, I love seeing your name everywhere. And then I want to tell you something that Tigris said to me one time, because I was like Lane Bryant, torrid, the avenue, we need your dollars, we need your help. And Tigris was like no Crystal, think bigger. Think like who owns Lane Bryant, who owns Torrid, that's who we need to get into this game. And I was like dang, she's so right. Do you have any sponsors now or yet?

Nyemade: 16:08

Not yet. We've been working on a list. We have a few pitches that we're working on sending out, so hopefully we're trying to roll it out. It's one of those where you're in such a tough place because you need money to do things, but then you need people to give you money and you're trying to find that circle around it because we need more funds to get the app launched. You want to launch it on iOS and Android, but that takes significant funds, so we're trying to fund raise for that at the moment too.

Merf: 16:35

Where would people go to donate to that? I mean, I think of access and resources, and so much of my job is that, so I know how important it is and I know that our community has been quite marginalized in public places, so it would be awesome to be able to support that. So where would we go?

Nyemade: 16:58

I agree, and we're working on that. Doing a crowdfunding, working on a crowdfunding campaign that's one of my next steps, but trust me, I will reach out to you once that is up and running.

Chrystal: 17:08

Yeah, and make sure you share it with us, because we'd like to signal, boost it as well. So is there like a focus for all go in the very beginning. Are you focusing on restaurants and then focusing on doctors offices, or focusing on theaters or public transportation? Is there like a, or is it just like everything that fat people might go to?

Nyemade: 17:28

It's everything. So whatever you want to bring to us, like businesses, are all listed on it. But whatever reviews you want to come in and review, it's everything.

Chrystal: 17:41

So like all three of us could go in and become like a member, so to speak and start writing reviews now? Yes, and so I do electrolysis during the day, so permanent hair removal, and I call my business all bodies welcome and I have a table that holds 800 pounds and I have a step that holds 500 pounds, so I could potentially ask my clients to go and write a review about my business and how fat friendly it is. Absolutely, we would love that, and yes.

Chrystal: 18:07

Yes, a lot of people tell me the reason they're coming to me or other electrolysis, because I say I'm happy to help all of humanity, and that means small people, trans people, queer people, you name it non-binary people, thin people, fat people, and I have a table that holds 800 pounds, so I put my money where my mouth is. It's amazing. So was your plan for it with National Plus Guide? It kind of sounds a little bit like Algo. Was it going to be similar or are you still running it?

Nyemade: 18:38

No, so I've converted. I've closed National Plus Guide and moved over to Algo only because, like I was saying, a lot of the technical side of things my business partner had been running and part of why I hadn't really done much with it last year was that I would have to switch over to doing that. And I do a lot, as I mentioned a little bit, with my mental health advocacy. I do social media ambassadorships for other businesses and then I also teach courses, like I make and create courses for businesses and stuff. So I'm quite busy.

Nyemade: 19:16

So adding more onto that especially, quite honestly, more stuff that I'm not interested in, which is the technical stuff, was hard for me, which is why it took me so long to kind of get it back going. So when Rebecca was like, well, I love the technical stuff but not the creative stuff, I was like, yes, so it's been great because she's really just kind of given me the reins to do what I wanted to do. So I was able to incorporate stuff I had going with National Plus Guide and bring it over to Algo, tweak it a little bit, change a little bit and then just get right back on track.

Chrystal: 19:47

Serendipity so tell us about the mental health stuff, because I know it's very important to all three of us here and that people are able to have good mental health, because with really, you can have a billion dollars If you don't have your good mental health, or even just physical health, it doesn't mean shit. So tell us how you guys are focusing and try to help people more with their mental wellness.

Nyemade: 20:08

Well, because for me personally, I do a lot of talking about mental health and writing about it. Like whenever I can just write for someone about it, I try to. I had a fellowship with the National Alliance of Mental Illness in Delaware and a fellowship with them for two years, which was really great. I did a lot with them, like interviewing people. I try, whenever I work with organizations or groups, to bring in like my specialty to help them. So I did like a lot of actually YouTube interviews for their page and so I'm trying to sort of bring that to Algo as well. Just highlighting that it's okay to talk about mental health stuff.

Nyemade: 20:49

Right now, we started our self love Sundays series back up. So once a month we do I interview someone and we just talk about their journey to self love and how they take care of themselves, things like that, and it's just one of those things that, like it incorporates everything right, Like your mental health. Everyone talks about physical health, but just like everyone has physical health, they have mental health as well and I think we don't talk about it enough and acknowledge it enough. So we just want to make that, make it a safe space to do that.

Merf: 21:21

That's wonderful. I think of you know inclusivity in apps and you know just different social media accounts and those kinds of things, and it's really difficult for a lot of folks to include that, even though it's so easy. You know they just it's kind of like absent minded. Like you said, it's all about physical health, not mental health. That's a soapbox, you know. I don't want to get on tonight, but it definitely does impact how people feel safe in that space and if it's something where you know they can go in their sweats and feel, you know, like I didn't take a shower today and I just but I got out of the house, you know, and I was able to do whatever, if they can feel like that's a safe space for them to be able to access, even when they're not feeling or, you know quote unquote looking their best, that's pretty incredible.

Chrystal: 22:21

Yeah, we need more of that in this world. My favorite hashtag is hashtag stop the stigma.

Nyemade: 22:27

Yeah, and I love that I was just going to say. When we present in Seattle at Fat Con, our presentation is about dealing with your mental health and being an advocate for yourself in spaces. So we're going to talk about how to advocate for yourself in spaces like asking for different seating, things like that and then also discuss the mental health side of dealing with just being larger in the world and also dealing with trolls online.

Chrystal: 22:58

Yeah, so will we be able to go in there and also talk about, besides restaurants and doctor's offices? But are there other other kinds of entities that you're hoping that people will go in and say, like, let's say, a gym for example? First of all, we all know if you're fat, you cannot win. If you go to the gym oh look at that fatty at the gym. If you don't go to that gym oh look at that lazy fat ass we can't win. But do you think people will also go in there and talk about their gyms or their yoga places and say, hey, this is super fat friendly. Will it not just be restaurants and stuff?

Nyemade: 23:31

Yeah, we're hoping so, because that's another area that we use and we're really big on representation. That's for me. On my end, as I work on building our community, I'm trying to make sure that as many people see themselves, we're selected and things all go as possible, and one of those things is fitness. So one of our YouTube series is Living Fat Living Shit, where we get people who are in bigger bodies but are still doing fitness things.

Nyemade: 23:56

Like there's this misconception that oh, if you're plus size, if you're bigger, if you're fat, that you just must be a bum and home and lazy, and that's not true. Like we're out there like ticking butt, ticking names, and so we want to highlight some of those. So we've had a couple of dancers, we've had a power lifter. The next episode coming up is with a runner and a figure skater. So what I do is I have two people who are, you know, fat and fit, just have a conversation with each other. I give them questions and they just talk about what their experience is like being in their industry, their fitness industry, whatever avenue it is, and what that's been like for them in their bodies.

Chrystal: 24:36

That's fantastic. I would love more of that in the world. When you say episodes, tell us what that means. Episode.

Nyemade: 24:44

Oh, so if you are not following us, we are on YouTube at allgoapp, underscore, and so we have a few series and we're building over time. So one of them is Living Fat Living Fit, as I mentioned, where they have two people who are doing fitness while fat and they talk about it. Some of the episodes will have your fat friend, which is where someone takes a camera with them and just does like a one minute vlog of them trying a new class or a new whatever. Reach out to us if you like doing those and let us know we're happy to put those on our episodes. Another series is our Love Handles All, and that is to tell love stories.

Nyemade: 25:26

I am a hopeless romantic and I love love. It's actually why one of the first things that I did with All Go when I came on was because I officially like officially launched me in February. I actually did a series about love and I did a let's talk about sex series where I talked to sex specialists lives for a while. So anything in that love world atmosphere I'm all about and I feel like there's just so much out there of like slim love and love that looks a certain way and I grew up thinking that I wouldn't find love until I got slim, and that's not the case at all. So we really wanted to highlight that and so I love, I love, I love interviews. I'm getting ready to schedule a bunch more. So, again, if you are listening to this and you are in love or know someone in love, it's love story you want to hear, reach out to us. But yeah, so there's just a series and I asked them like how they met their pet peeves, how they knew each other. Was the one stuff like that? Just, she loves stuff.

Nyemade: 26:25

And then there's a curve of the conversation where we're trying to highlight people who are doing great things and be your body. So the first one was for fat liberation. So we high, high the Tigris actually was one of the people that was highlighted in that we got a couple of people just to tell us about themselves. And then we also did like a reel of other people in the industry who are doing stuff. The next one that should be coming out will be highlighting LGBT, qi plus people activists. So those are some of the ones that we have now. And then I mentioned on YouTube, on Instagram live. We have our days, and then we will occasionally do like one off, to like if someone's having any of that and we want to talk to them about it and share that with our audience, or things like that. Anything that really like said helps build community so important, fat communities, everything.

Chrystal: 27:20

We say that all the time here. It's so, so trite, but we just love that community. That's why we're also excited to go to fat con to be amongst other fatties, and sometimes it's hard to find fat community. So I have a feeling that all go app is going to help people also find their community in their areas. That's what we're hoping for. Wonderful, okay, love handles. That's cute, love handles.

Merf: 27:43

Love handles Love handles, love handles.

Chrystal: 27:47

So, if someone wants to do that, how would you get their content? Would you have them record themselves, or would you all do a zoom or something like that and then interview them, and then you guys edit and clip it all together?

Nyemade: 28:00

Yes, so for love handles all. It's just a zoom interview. We try to keep it 20 to 30 minutes and then we just play it for the living. That living fit. I usually try to schedule a time for the three of us, so the two people that are going to be interviewing each other and myself, to do a zoom and I get the questions to them. But yeah, if anyone is interested, they can DM us or they can email me on nymarenymede at canweallgocom.

Chrystal: 28:31

So what are people mostly using all go now for? Is it mostly restaurant reviews?

Nyemade: 28:36

Mostly that. Yeah, yeah, because it's not in the app form yet the usage isn't as much, so we're more gaining users and engaging with people on other sides, like on our social media platforms. We have merch out. People are getting that. We're getting ready to roll out the newsletter, so people are getting on our email lists, so it's more engaging in that. And then we're getting ready to go on the initial launch. It definitely was more restaurants and I think that's just because it's easier for people to comment on those.

Chrystal: 29:15

Yeah, so do you want us to go into and get the app on our phone or our computer and start writing reviews.

Nyemade: 29:21

You want more people to get that now. Yes, yes, we would love reviews now. And how would they do that, or how would we do that? I'll send you the link, as you can to post it, and then we'll do the review. So I'll send that to you.

Chrystal: 29:35

And then they'll just go in and create a profile, and that's where we can also send to get your newsletter.

Nyemade: 29:39

Yes, the newsletter should be available through there, and then you can also on our regular all go website. You can put in your email address to get updates. We encourage that because that's how we'll let you know when we're ready to launch it. We'll do a whole launch campaign and all of that.

Chrystal: 29:57

So just to complain and bitch for a moment I know everybody's going to relate to this I haven't been going to my Kaiser pharmacy because I've been getting everything in my mail and then I have a new pulmonary doctor for my asthma and so he suggested I try some new medications. So I actually had to go to the pharmacy and when I get there I realize they've taken out all of the wider chairs and I was starting to. I could feel my blood pressure going up, like I know it's not the person that works behind the counter and I know them, the one lady that was helping me. I said I know it's not your fault. I'm just going to tell you right now I'm really upset because I don't see one place out here where I could sit and she goes.

Chrystal: 30:37

Oh yeah, that's weird. They did move great all those chairs. Oh, she goes. Oh, there's one over there. I go. Okay, thank you, but not okay for not okay. Car with Kaiser. I know I'm a size 2830. I know people larger than me show up there. Sometimes that means everybody my size and larger and smaller. We have to stand the whole time because there's nowhere for us to sit and that pisses me off big time, and I'm sure we've all had experiences like that, but they used to have them, now they don't, and that just blows my mind.

Merf: 31:05

Yeah, that's something I was thinking of with the app, Like when it launched a couple years back. I think I posted a couple different places in Sacramento, or I tried to. But I was thinking to myself, with this relaunch and you know, getting the process going with the changes from previous to now, like maybe those places have changed their chairs since then because that was a while ago like going through and having to update that. Is that something where it will be like people can just continue to add content and be like oh, they remodeled or oh, they did this, or so that if there was a place that maybe was inaccessible previously now is accessible, Will that be clearly shown or is that just the old content is going to go away?

Nyemade: 31:57

No, they'll be able to add updates. If things have changed them, They'll be able to do new comments, put in new reviews. Obviously, it will automatically make the old ones go away, but if there's newer ones because people are going there regularly now and it's better then they'll be shown.

Chrystal: 32:15

So, , do you think people will go to or go to write reviews of specific doctors or physician's assistants or hospitals or anything like that?

Nyemade: 32:27

Yeah, I would hope so. The app would be for the location in general, but obviously if it's like an office where there's several doctors, I would hope that there's a particular doctor they like more than the other. Leave reviews for that.

Chrystal: 32:42

That would be cool. I was just telling Merf that I need to start, when I do our IDL review or Google review, I need to say whether or not this place is fat friendly. I need to start putting that in my reviews because I usually I try to write reviews when I'm happy as opposed to pissed off. But sometimes I get really pissed off, like at Kaiser, and I did send them a note saying what did y'all do to the pharmacy Campbell location? I can't sit anywhere. I know I'm not the only one. We are 70 percent of the population. We are the majority here. Maybe you can have some seats that work for us.

Nyemade: 33:19

Right, you would never know that, given what we see, that we are a majority, because that's definitely not what's reflected back to us.

Chrystal: 33:28

No, the world is not made for us yet. Yes, we'll see and get on it, absolutely.

Merf: 33:33

Yeah, I was thinking about where I work. We do patient after their visit surveys and that feedback is so vital and we change certain things at our medical practice due to that feedback. I think an app where everyone can put in that information and it just be an area where people can learn about whatever that practice is and really take away the anxiety of going to a new place and then be able to go there and actually be able to enjoy yourself because whatever the seating or whatever it has the potential to be life altering, it really does.

Nyemade: 34:16

Yeah, we're hoping so that it just makes people feel more comfortable to get out, that it makes them feel comfortable and invite family and friends out Then, even from there. I talked a little bit about how we hope to partner with some bigger companies as well, but also to provide consultation to companies. If you're opening a restaurant and you want to make sure that it will be a size-inclusive like, you can reach out to us and we can tell you what the parameters should be and things like that. We want to be able to offer that as well, so that, as people are making and creating new spaces, that we make sure that they are really size-friendly.

Nyemade: 34:55

Size-conscious at least that's conscious yeah.

Chrystal: 35:00

We were talking a moment ago about how much amazing community could probably come from all of them. Now, that's exciting. I'm really excited about that. I meant to say earlier, when we were talking about concerts and stuff, I'm a person who's 55. I found my voice. I'm really comfortable with asking for a seat-built extender out loud. I'm really comfortable for most things. But one thing I haven't really gotten the cahones to do yet is to call ahead to a theater or a sports place, a sports ball place. A lot of people say that you can call their office and say hey, I'm a person of size, I'm going to need to have some accessibility issues. They will prepare a space for you, often in the areas where people who have walking devices or who need a cane or a wheelchair where they sit. I haven't been able to do that. I've been able to crack that one yet because I'm just like oh, I don't want to take somebody else's space that needs it because they have other accessibility issues. Have you guys ever—any of you all tried that before?

Nyemade: 36:06

I haven't called. I've had that, I have used—and you actually just did a video that I shared about it Southwest their passenger of size policy. That's the most I've done, I have had, which was new for me Even just this past year. I really just started learning to advocate for myself. If I go someplace and the chair just doesn't look like I did before, it just feels uncomfortable.

Nyemade: 36:32

Some of those worldly chairs. You know you're just going to be squatting for an hour because you can't really put your full weight on it. Now I just say, is there another chair? It's amazing. Those five minutes of wanting the ground to open up and swallow me whole is so worth it, because the rest of the time I'm comfortable and happy.

Nyemade: 36:51

I had to really tell myself it's not like anyone doesn't know that I'm fat. It's not like me trying to shrink myself or me making myself uncomfortable is going to make them go. Oh wow, she's so slim. Oh wow, we're accepting of her because look at the pain she's going through for an hour just so she doesn't have to get a different chair. Like no, it doesn't change their mind at all. So why am I letting myself be uncomfortable for them? Or just to save myself the embarrassment. So I'm very big on advocating for yourself. It doesn't have to be embarrassing, even though it feels like it, because, promise you, people are not thinking about you as much as you think they are. Think about how much time you spend thinking about other people. You don't. You're really thinking about yourself and whatever else is thinking about you. So are they.

Chrystal: 37:38

We're all in our own heads worrying about our shit, right yeah?

Nyemade: 37:42

exactly, so hopefully the app helps with that as well.

Chrystal: 37:46

When you mentioned that about falling into the earth. I went to a wedding and they had those white folding chairs that were real shiny and wood and that it was on the grass and I could feel myself sinking, sinking, sinking. So then I started trying to lead forward and not have my while my weight on it and it was so uncomfortable and I was like the person that was getting married. You know, I remember her doing a talk one time and she's like you know, we don't get fat from that first cookie. So I was too intimidated to say anything. I was like I'm just going to suck it up, crystal, I couldn't wait to get up and out of that grass because I know my chair was going to be sunk into it like permanent part of the thing.

Chrystal: 38:24

But when I, when I am afraid to go and advocate for myself, I think to myself Crystal, you're going to help somebody coming behind you, so go ahead and suck it up, take one for the team. And I have to always remember and I say this a lot about Southwest Airlines nobody should feel guilty that they don't fit an airplane. The airline should feel guilty that they cram so many seats in there to make more money. So don't take on the guilt or whatever you want to call it, cause it's not. It's not yours, it's theirs, capitalism, and they're greedy, and they're making their seats 15 inches wide, which is like a little kid's butt. So don't take it on.

Nyemade: 39:00

Yes, exactly, and it's. It's wild and you know I was mentioning Rebecca's done a lot of the research on seating and stuff and like how our bodies have changed in however many decades and those chair seats have not, like they're still this, being made this big for bodies that are, like you said, 70%, much bigger than that, and we're supposed to be accommodating and then feel bad when we don't sit into it.

Chrystal: 39:23

This is a random piece of information, y'all, but did you know that people are starting to be born without um, with some teeth? It's like it's getting evoluted, evolution.

Nyemade: 39:34

Evolution yeah.

Chrystal: 39:37

Hey, man, right, so bodies have changed in the last hundred years because of nutrition, because there's more food accessible, because we're not all on the diet. You know Ferris wheel, or what do you want to call it, where some of us are like you know what? We know they don't work. Fuck it. And so, yeah, we're becoming larger and larger and we're not going anywhere. We've been around since the dawn of time. Fat people have always existed, always.

Nyemade: 40:03

Yep, yeah, there's a lot of things that people downplay or get upset about. It's like it shows their fat phobia, right. Like when there is that huge stuff about the Nike ad and it's just like, why are you mad that they're doing workout clothes? Like if you allegedly want them to be healthy, want us to be healthy and happier, you should be saying go Nike for promoting workout clothes. Instead you're mad about it. Like that doesn't make any sense, you know. Or like when people talk about I've heard people mention like, oh, we're all gonna become like wall-y, like just all sitting in our chairs and moving around. Okay, then you should want an athlete, although that's trying to get people outside of the house. So we aren't like wall-y, so we are outside doing things like either a lot of the things that they are like rah, rah. This is bad. If they would stop and pause for a minute, our help are actually trying to help be positive and promote health and promote getting out there and doing things yeah, we can't win that definitely there's no way.

Nyemade: 41:01

We're always gonna be not as long as they're fat and doing it right, and that's the problem. It's like even if there was some magical thing that was created today and nobody would ever get fatter for the rest of their life and would slowly get slim, you'd still have fat people like you, would still have to see and deal with fat people, and some people just can't handle that and it's it's unfortunate it's called hereditary genetics.

Chrystal: 41:24

Hello, my people are not small people and we talk about this all the time. All my people look like me. They have the same kind of body. I have, the same kind of skin I have. They have larger bodies, they have larger bones. We're just bigger humans and other people I know that are just all. Everybody in their family is very petite or very short or very tall. Why can't people believe that some of us are just naturally fat?

Nyemade: 41:48

it's a thing people, it really is it is, and it's one of those things that was hard for me. So I was very like all about the stuff when I was younger right which I'm sure is not surprising considering the list I went through of me now but like when I was in school. So I was like on the tennis team, did track, did musicals, did church stuff, and it's just like. I was still chunky, though, and it was amazing to me like people would want to talk to me about my weight and stuff, but it's just like I was so active that I feel like if I saw that kid now who was curvier, I'd be like well, they're just that's their body, like they're being healthy. Let's encourage the health instead.

Nyemade: 42:26

It was you're chunky, you're fat, let's focus on that. And it's so upsetting, especially when you're that age, because it's a common joke how crappy kids eat at that age, like everyone. Oh teenagers, oh teenagers. In the metabolism, the old teenagers don't do anything. So when you're not that teenager, when you're doing all the things and you're still chunky and like, you're going through this road where people get to look at your body and think they know something about you, while someone else who does like nothing but happens to have a smaller metabolism instantly gets like more respect and gets seen as doing the better thing. It's very frustrating just going through the lights with that, but especially I remember as like the teen years were just the worse and, as reagan chastain always says, you don't owe good health to anyone, even if I am the least.

Chrystal: 43:11

Whatever you describe or define as healthy, no matter who I am, don't put that on me. It's not for me to take on. I don't. I don't owe that to anyone. I don't. I shouldn't. I should get the same amount of respect and dignity that any other human gets, not just because I match a certain size or they think they can look at me and tell how healthy I am. You can't. The only thing we can tell about it is like marillon wahn said, how fat phobic you are, how much anti-fattness you have in you. You can't. Unless I'm like all yellow and I'm jaundice, you can't. You don't know what my health is like and the diseases hit every size.

Nyemade: 43:46

It really frustrates me that, like if someone is bigger passes away from like a heart attack or something like that related to go well because of their size. It's like, okay, well, the five other people who are half that size or smaller, who also pass away from that, like what, nobody was talking to them their whole lives about it because they looked for certain sides, like at the end of the day, most people aren't out here eating healthy on the time, dieting and exercising all the time, but then those same people will turn around and judge other people for having the discipline that they themselves lack it not to get on my soapbox, but you can tell it's a soapbox for me, like it, it affiliates me, yeah I could get hit by a train and people say, well, you know, if she had just lost some of that weight, that doesn't matter obese woman dies from cut

Nyemade: 44:33

yeah, like it would, totally they would lead with that, it would just absolutely and I.

Merf: 44:38

I absolutely hear you on the that soapbox yeah, I think it's. It's so ridiculous. The the incongruent aspects of when someone says you know, oh, this is about health or this is about whatever it's like. No, this is about you wanting to be in control and fear that you're going to look like me, because we've created a society that says that I'm the problem, right, which is absolute bullshit yeah, it's total bullshit.

Chrystal: 45:09

And unless you're talking to my doctor and you've seen my metabolic health and you see my numbers, you don't know shit about me. And I'm sure we all know fin people that have died prematurely because of their heart attack or their stroke or whatever the hell they. There's not one single disease that only fat people get. Everybody can we all get the same disease, every single human. We all have the same ones. It doesn't matter. But people have themselves convinced that if you're fat you must be lazy and you're eating bonbons and you're not working out or whatever. And guess what? I don't work out. I fucking hate exercising, but that's not why I'm this size. This is my, this is my genetics, y'all.

Nyemade: 45:45

I promise you and even if you were like you said, you don't owe anyone being healthier or doing all the things because, again, most of them aren't doing it. Most of the people who are judging are not doing it themselves. Like they have the same 20 pounds they haven't been able to get off in forever but then get mad at someone else for not being able to hold on to lose 100 when they can't lose like they're 20 like there's memes that go around about nobody.

Chrystal: 46:07

Nobody yells at my thin friend who eats, you know, doritos and little gem donuts and smoked cigarettes all day, but if you're fat and you even eat one sugar thing, everybody, oh, you're fatty like no, it's all of us. But nobody cares about the thin person, who's super unhealthy. And we know that a lot of people who do maintain a smaller body often have just eating disorders or disordered eating. So well, don't, just, yeah, just stop. But I believe, I believe truly that representation matters and I believe you said something earlier in your body that it would be helpful if young people and that's kind of why we do the podcast is ashley and mirf and I it's important to us that maybe we might help one person just cut through some of that crap and get right to this fat liberation.

Chrystal: 46:51

Now stop worrying about what other people think. They're not paying your bills, they're not feeding you, they're not feeling you just just do your thing and um, yeah, it's, we're all. We're also to be able to be here. You know, we're all. Even what do they want? To put us on an island in like a leper's and we just all go to this island until we lose our weight. Stupid, I hate. I'm so sick of it sometimes. But anyway, tell everybody what they need to know about all go. Where can they find you? What do you want what? What can we all do for you to help? Uh, all go, be very successful To help us be successful.

Nyemade: 47:25

First of all, go to our website. I'll go app or canweallgocom either one and sign up for updates so that we can let you know when we are launching and all of that Please. Please follow us on social media if you are not. We try to post a lot on Instagram and we have our Twitter as well. And then, of course, the YouTube. Please subscribe to us on YouTube.

Nyemade: 47:50

I really feel passionate about these series and the more that people watch it, tune in, the more we can do it, because we have other ideas, like we want to do big business. So we talk to business owners who are like there's literally just so much out there that we are doing that's not highlighted because we're doing it in bigger bodies and we want to make a space where people can go and say, hey, I want to see someone who looks like me doing painting, exercising, doing whatever. I know that I have a spot, I can go because we can all go. That's really our vision on the community side of all. Go. So please subscribe to our YouTube. We want to build that up for you guys. Please subscribe to Instagram and, again, the website. That way we can let you know also when the app has launched for your phones, because that is the real.

Chrystal: 48:41

No, we're really getting going. That's going to be very exciting. I want to say that I'm really fortunate that I have my friend group knows now to don't ever suggest stuff where I won't fit. They figured it out finally. They'll show up early for me and they'll make sure the seating is right.

Nyemade: 49:00

Oh, that is the worst I know.

Chrystal: 49:02

It's so embarrassing, and one of my friends even bought special folding chairs that hold 600 pounds. Thank you, it's so sweet.

Merf: 49:10

That is the best thing I've ever seen.

Chrystal: 49:11

I know I'm not a big fan of that we are. Part of our name is big sexy chat, as you know. So we would love to know do you have a favorite sexy thing, favorite sexy toy or furniture or clothing or book or anything like that that we should all know about? That we, you might help somebody. Some fatty, you know faties don't have sex. That's what the world thinks. They think we don't have sex.

Nyemade: 49:35

That is what the world thinks, which is why I did the let's talk about sex series. So, speaking of all go, I talked to six sex experts in February. Those are saved on our all go page. Check those out. I want to bring those back because we started getting some good tips and things. So as far as I'll be, okay. So I'm going to share something that I recently discovered. Okay, so is this website called Fetlights. So if you are at all curious about curious things and curious my nature, I didn't realize like there's so many avenues of like kink out there, like there's so many Cause you know, if you ever watch porn adult, if you ever watch adult entertainment, duh, there's all the categories. But if you go to that life it's like, well, and then there's so many people I'm I'm easily fascinated because I'm very curious about things. But that is what I want to share. If you are curious as well, check out Fetlightscom.

Chrystal: 50:36

Another thing about Fetlife and kinky people in general is that they're often much more body inclusive, much more intersectional. So people who have a disability or are fat or whatever they're into like feet, nobody judges. It's just not not judgmental. So the kink community is a great place to try to even get started. One thing I will say is there are a lot of fakers out there who like to say that they're a dorm. But you gotta be, you gotta be a little leery of those. And yeah, fetlife is a great suggestion. Actually, we should, we should, we should see if they want to sponsor one of our shows. They're a great resource for fatties. And yeah, you're right, there's. Look, we all know, we all know this, the four of us know this.

Chrystal: 51:22

I, I've never been alone, unless I wanted to be. You know I. Just there's no lack of people who, well, I always say this, but, um, penis is everywhere. But that's, I'm into penises. Not everybody is. But yeah, it's plentiful. And, um, people get it in their heads that you have to be thin to be loved and I'm like, oh, hell, no, uh-uh. First of all, I love myself. I know I'm lovable and I've been well loved by all kinds of different people and you don't let your brain, your mind, make your life small. I promise you. There's all kinds of people out there for all kinds of things, and people don't usually fall in love with the outer shell of a human. They usually fall in love with their mind and not like, oh she's at 210 pounds. I only like people that are 180. It's not how it works.

Merf: 52:09

Yeah, and I love that, um, you mentioned uh, fetlife as the the resource and that it's a resource, that another resource that builds community Like there's. There's just so much really, um positive that can come from exploring your sexuality and and looking into different types of areas of the kink community. So I appreciate that that was uh your your sexual aid this week, cause uh, that's one where, yeah, you can really build upon.

Nyemade: 52:42

I'm all for people sort of trying to figure it out. Because I grew up super Christian conservative Africans. I was very like I still am like oh my gosh, that's sex stuff. But like I was a secret leader of talking about it and wanted to be a sex therapist but couldn't like get myself to tell my mom I wanted to be a sex therapist. I went into business. The more you know, you know and really especially about yourself, cause we will expect other people to please them but you don't know how to please yourself. Like how do you have to take them to figure out if you don't know? So I'm all like figure it out.

Chrystal: 53:09

Also, your partner cannot read your mind. So, just like with you know being able to advocate for yourself out and about, you also need to advocate for yourself with your partner because they don't know intuitively what it is you need. You have to tell them. In this lubrication we say that here a lot, and that goes with your sex life and your romantic life. You have to say it out loud to somebody beside your best friend and you have to say it out loud to your partner so they know you know that, they know what you need. So, niamati, it was such a pleasure talking with you tonight. We're really so excited about all go and the future and all the amazing things that are going to come from all go Merf. Anything else no.

Merf: 53:49

I just want to thank you for your time. It was really exciting to learn more about the app and I can't wait for it to be released. Thank you both.

Nyemade: 53:58

Well, thank you all three of you so much for having me and everyone for tuning in. I appreciate it, thank you.

Chrystal: 54:04

Okay, well, I'll see you later, alligator.

Merf: 54:06

After a while, crack a dial. Bye, bye, butterfly. So where can you find your favorite fatties? You can find us at bigsexychatcom on all the social medias, at big sexy chat on Twitter, big sexy chat pod and Crystal. How can they reach us?

Chrystal: 54:27

Oh, Merf, the best way to reach us is by email, which is sexy at bigsexychatcom, and remember to like, subscribe and share, please.