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Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Big Sexy Chat is a bold, unfiltered podcast exploring fatness, pleasure, identity, and the realities of living in a body the world wasn’t built for.
Hosted by Chrystal, the show features candid conversations with guests across the fat, sex-positive, and body liberation communities. Together, they dig into everything from relationships, intimacy, and adaptive sex, to medical bias, media representation, mental health, and the politics of existing out loud.
This isn’t surface-level body positivity. It’s deeper, messier, and more honest.
Big Sexy Chat creates space for stories that don’t get told often enough, centering fat voices without apology, without shame, and without shrinking to fit someone else’s comfort.
Expect real talk, hard truths, humor, and moments that stay with you.
Because pleasure, dignity, and visibility aren’t luxuries… they’re rights.
Big Sexy Chat Podcast
Unapologetically Fatastic: Stories of Empowerment From Fat Con
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
Our first treasure trove of conversations from Fat Con is kicking off with Briq House, a Seattle-based erotic entrepreneur whose mission is to celebrate sexuality and foster sexual healing in black and brown communities. From the pulse-racing finale of Fat Con's fashion show to the critical discussions around safe, sex-positive spaces, we navigate the intersections of fat positivity, identity, and community empowerment with our guests, leading us through a series of transformative and heartening insights.
This episode isn't just about the defiance it represents; it's about the local ripples of impact, the crusade for diverse voices in sex tech, and a stirring keynote that stirs the soul, pushing us to embrace our complete selves. Our special moments with Tigress Osborn and the stories of self-discovery underscore the boundless potential that lies in community involvement and the courage to stand firm in one's identity. Conversations take a heartfelt turn as we celebrate the hard-won coalitions and legislative victories that underscore the 'Size Freedom' campaign, driving the narrative change around fat acceptance.
We relive the magic of events from Fat Con that offer a haven for fat positivity, where the boldness of fashion and the strength found in affirmation illuminate the chapters of our advocacy. Mx Pucks A' Plenty joins us, adding depth and perspective, leaving us with a sense of anticipation for the equitable changes on the horizon. So, if you're ready to be inspired by the beauty of self-acceptance and the power of collective action, this episode promises to be a turning point.
BigSexyChat.com appreciates you and our community. We do this for you, so if you ever have any ideas about a subject we can discuss for you, email us at bigsexychatpod@gmail.com.
You can find us on Facebook and Instagram as BigSexyChat.
Twitter (who knows how long we will stay there) is BigSexyChatPod
Check out our merch at www.BigSexyTees.com (credit to Toni Tails for setting this up for us!)
Chrystal also sells sex toys via her website BlissConnection.com and you can use the code BSC20 for 20% off.
Big thanks to our Sponsor Liberator Bedroom Adventures. We ADORE the products from Liberator. And, to be clear, we all loved their products even before they became a sponsor!
Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. I'm Crystal, I'm Murph. We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the pep Twice a month. We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community cannabis, cvd you name it. We're going to talk about it. We are very excited to have you a part of our community. Welcome and enjoy.
Speaker 2On this episode of Big Sexy Chat, we're taking a break from our normal format and bringing you in up close and personal to some of the exceptional humans we had the pleasure of meeting and interviewing at Fat Con, so you can get to know them a little too. And don't worry, we won't just be sharing these outstanding humans with you. We'll be busting out more and more interviews from our time there in the coming weeks, so that way you can be included in this remarkable fat community Without further ado.
Speaker 3Hi y'all.
Speaker 1We're here today on the last day of the carn Woo. Everybody's on a little high. We just came up back from the fashion show.
Speaker 3It was just like raffle. It's not a raffle ceremony. Someone won the Big.
Speaker 1Big Mattress which is like quite a good job I knew.
Speaker 3And we're so excited to have Brick with us here today. How's it going? How's it going? How's it going? Brick, brick House yes.
Speaker 1All of the above. Brick House is so cute for queer and then I was just like normal.
Speaker 2Yes, brick House, you got a deal.
Speaker 1Yeah, so welcome. You're the emcee Today. She's fabulous, of course.
Speaker 3We get this lady to do that a lot. I do do that a lot. It's one of my tricks in my bag.
Speaker 1That's good.
Speaker 3Can't have too many tricks, that's for sure. Well, you know, uh-huh, and you're a local here in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, in the I am, yeah, I'm based in Seattle Washington, and uh, but I go everywhere, yeah.
Speaker 2International.
Speaker 3I'm an international health. I love it. I love it. So tell everybody a little bit about the many ventures that you participated, so many, um. So I am an erotic entrepreneur, which means that all my businesses are sex based businesses, and a major portion of my businesses are around the sexual healing and liberation of people, but especially around um black and brown sins and people of all genders and all bodies. But I have a special affidavit for and um knowledge about what it's like to grow up as a black feminine and the the things that we, you know, go through as far as like finding our spirituality and our sexuality and allowing them to exist together. Uh, those are things that are really important to me and, yeah, so I'm a very I'm very, uh, spiritual help. Yeah, I believe in getting us grounded and grounding the service to me, rested me.
Speaker 1It's so important.
Speaker 3It really. I think a lot of people just kind of neglect the idea Absolutely how important that is and how it increases that sexual drive. Oh, absolutely. Um, I uh produced a couple of events. One of them is the Sunday night sugar shack, which is an all by pop for less preview. And then I also produced cute social cloaks.
Speaker 3I think social cloaks is an all by pop play party and it's uh, the only one in Seattle that is of that size and we only have two in Seattle. It's us and pleasure holds another great group. They do all queer by pop parties and mine are black and brown folks of all genders, all sexualities, and, yeah, we are frightened real hard to keep peak spaces in Seattle. Um, unfortunately, uh, we don't have that many cheap spaces in the world in general. There's nobody does me or sex positive spaces. We need more sex positive spaces. We need more sex positive spaces, but we especially need more sex positive spaces where black and brown folks can feel comfortable to engage without being under the white gates, and so it was really important for me, as I was on my team journey, to uh try to create a space that I wanted to be in myself, and it's been really successful and really wonderful. So yeah, I'm very happy to work.
Speaker 1I've heard a lot from other people that there's like a people of color really underrepresented and the representative comes to pink road also like polyamory.
Speaker 3I'm also polyamory, I know, and bisexual. Shut up. This is a real fine girl named soft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not gonna put you up for a word. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I'm not gonna open up. I'm not gonna open up.
Speaker 1I'm not gonna open up. I'm not gonna open up. I'm not gonna open up.
Speaker 3I'm not gonna open up, I'm not gonna open up.
Speaker 2I'm not gonna open up. I'm not gonna open up.
Speaker 3I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, no.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 3No no.
Speaker 1No.
Speaker 3No, we can all spend some time like a little podcast having this discussion, oh absolutely, which I think we should.
Speaker 1I mean when you get sex together together.
Speaker 3All we're going to do is talk about getting off. Exactly I mean, so I'm down, let's go. I love it. My question, though, was a little bit more around.
Speaker 2you came to our panel and you had some good questions.
Speaker 3Yes, are you thinking possibly a podcast in the future?
Speaker 3Oh so what I'm actually thinking about is talk show in the future. Yeah, though, I've got some ideas around very intimate show around. It's literally I want to be around intimacy and sexual healing, and I think a lot of times when we're in sex positive spaces, we do a lot of time talking. We spend a lot of time talking about getting off, but I really want to talk more about the things that keep us from getting off, the things that hold us back, things that we work through our small victories I think everybody is like you know so like pressure to talk about, like squirting and like all these things, but like, what about like?
Speaker 3just actually being able to enjoy the moment you know, or being able to enjoy the moment with the lights on, or being able to express yourself fully and take breaks and talk about your needs from a place of you're not apologizing for it, but because you're excited to share your needs, and those kinds of things that I think aid in the getting off. I think we should spend more intimate time talking about the intimate details.
Speaker 1One of my clients was telling me she's mostly has sex with men and she says you don't tell a man that you're a squirre.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, so they're going to do that, but she goes also.
Speaker 1That does mean it's still going to be tenacious. That you know, and it's just yeah, I'm doing too much.
Speaker 3I was kind of you have to be the one to kind of communication is lubrication. It is, it's to have like conversation of like it doesn't have to be your Now, just because you saw that in the bad horny watch. Sorry, our education system when it comes to sex education.
Speaker 2That's so terrible, that's terrible. That's why we're here.
Speaker 3That's what we keep going.
Speaker 2I am determined for us to relearn.
Speaker 1So the stuff that we learned was not helpful and maybe for porn is a bad idea. Anyway, yes, not real life.
Speaker 3No, well, I mean, unless you're trying.
Speaker 2Unless you are.
Speaker 3Consuming ethical porn. She's ethical porn made by those of us who are like yes In the field, because I also do like erotic films.
Speaker 2Yeah, you can find me on the place where fans go.
Speaker 3So yeah, but when you are looking at the art you're not seeing most of the time you're not seeing like the people who are putting in the time and the energy to make it a beautiful experience and make it like really realistic. So that's why I'm so grateful for independent porn professionals, because they they get the good stuff.
Speaker 1Yeah, pretty good stuff yeah.
Speaker 2Good loops the little bit of after that.
Speaker 3That's why he's.
Speaker 1What's the service?
Speaker 3we're going to ask at the end. So that's that's that's. You know what's your favorite? Pray Vesper. Oh, really, I have a choice that way Well please describe Because I have not heard of that, so it is a necklace.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, You're right about that.
Speaker 3It's very slim and I really like it because I can just lay it somewhere and allow it to hang out.
Speaker 1So I'm going to for you to get us.
Speaker 3Oh, that's absolutely. There's multiple speakers, ok, that was really good. I also like how small it is, because it's easy to fit in between people. So not only can it fit to your lady, depending on how your things are set up, but it can. It can rest between all types of genitalia, two different kinds, three different types when as however, you want to throw stuff in there you know, depends on if you're at that phone Just doing over there.
Speaker 3A few parties happening. But yeah, I feel like it's. It's really easy to like put in between little things and you can just leave it to do this job, while leaving your hands free. Do what I've been saying.
Speaker 2We're just wearing around all day long. You can wear it around all day long we can wear it as a necklace. Yes, we're going to make that.
Speaker 3It's kind of like your little secrets, so other people who have one they know. Your little winky winky you know, so I'm sure you will. Yeah, that's, I had never heard of that. I don't know how, and it comes in high credit Vesper, you all need to sponsor.
Speaker 2They do. It comes in rose gold, silver and gold.
Speaker 3And you can get it in great, since I totally wish you do but still crave.
Speaker 3That's for exactly how to find you you can find me on miss brickhousecom, that is ms vriq Ho uscom. You can also find me on only fans and Instagram under goddess brick house, that's goddess vriq HMSD, and I think we need everyone to hear the apology story that you talked. Oh, I'm G. Okay, so I had Someone who, just you know, was not in love with me, right, and so they got blocked, because I had already explained that they weren't living here. I wasn't. I wasn't like just blocking them and then talks about believing ghosting, so I explained to them why they were getting blocked, and then I blocked them, and then, in order to try to reach that out to me, though they were blocked, they started sending me money through cash app, because in cash app, you can leave a little message, and so every little amount of a sense they would send a little message, and they kept, you know, increasing the amount as they sent messages, because they knew that.
Speaker 3I'm going to, yeah, I'm gonna respond back. That's what I thought with my while. So eventually I did see something with my while. I responded back again to be like you're still blocked and you know, and let's just keep going. Yeah, keep it up. And they did. Eventually they reached the number that felt like I could tolerate Maybe a five minute conversation with them.
Speaker 1I did and, let's face it, some people get off on doing that they love. You told what you're doing, oh, yeah well.
Speaker 3I am also professional now, right so?
Speaker 2you know, I am you already.
Speaker 3money yes, exactly, and I enjoy receiving that. So it worked out for me in the end and it worked out for them, because they were able to at least give me something for myself.
Speaker 2Oh, yeah, so you said that I was just like.
Speaker 3This is the most genius.
Speaker 2Yeah, I'm.
Speaker 3Want more, for I think Sex work is real and sacred work and I think that it is the key to liberation for a lot of us. I'm excited about my financial future. As a sex worker and I'm really excited about you know the future for the rest of us.
Speaker 1I think that's beautiful and brilliant. I want to just remember remembering a story I heard was about a friend who worked at a brothel and be basically Men paid to come see her and give her oral sex. Yeah, yeah absolutely received oral sex and the money, and then yes.
Speaker 3I'll say my dream job.
Speaker 1Absolutely.
Speaker 3Yeah, I had one who he just loved to buy me shoes. All he wanted was pictures of me in my pretty little shoes that he's bought.
Speaker 1Yeah, your shoes today super cute.
Speaker 2Thank you, my outfit was from plus. Yes, yes, it was.
Speaker 3Yeah, I just happened to have the shoes, I also.
Speaker 1Copper like to heal was interesting.
Speaker 3Yeah, they're by Sam. Okay, okay, sir, this by Sam. So, ashley, made these really cool in yours and sexy because.
Speaker 2So why are?
Speaker 3you sexy. I'm sexy because I'm a go get her.
Speaker 2Oh, I like that answer. Yeah, that's why I'm sexy.
Speaker 3Yeah, I see you Like a lot of respect of us.
Speaker 1Oh, I always find that super hot.
Speaker 2Yeah, like over there Get it.
Speaker 3Mm-hmm, you just have to a variety of things. I do. I have a variety of things. One of the things that I did want to tell you all about is that I am opening a size-intensive became a breeze to stand here, so I'll fit that. Awesome, yes, I've already purchased the airstream. It is huge.
Speaker 1Oh cool.
Coffee Shop and Advocacy Discussion
Speaker 3Yeah, so I can fit all of our beautiful delicious bodies in it. So I'll drive through situation. So we are in the very, very beginning phases of that. Yeah, but I'm excited to have something else to come talk to you all about what's up.
Speaker 1Yeah, there's a little coffee shop in San Jose. It's called Pete Panther. Hmm, this run by women in bikinis. Yes, and when they first opened the neighbors were like so much, like big, big bad. So these older ladies Would come over to the parking lot and lay in the parking lot to block people from fleeing to the drive-thru. We got, so people just parked and got their car. Yeah, he was a tickler table. He got their shit. Mm-hmm pictures in my home.
Speaker 3Yeah, no, absolutely not. Also like why are you mad at me? What became them?
Speaker 1Yeah, they just know what's mad that our neighborhood's gonna go like this shit neighborhood anyway.
Speaker 3So I mean I just you know If anything it's gonna brighten the night. I mean, right, it did actually.
Speaker 1They've been in just about ten years and they're kidding quarter of Starbucks.
Speaker 3I mean if you have an option, I'm going with the piece. My coffee will be good, right. But, yes, I'm excited about it.
Speaker 1Hello sir, but how are you? I'm pretty envisioning a painter, Are you oh?
Speaker 3This is that we are literally in the very beginning of it so it's like we started right before the pandemic and then pandemic happened. So now it's like he finally starts figuring out how we're gonna do it. So contractors, oh right.
Speaker 2We people with visions.
Speaker 3We've architects, everybody. We need you all hands on board, because I'm a little, I'm doing Division, the how to get there. Have no idea. Well, we'll find out when we get there. You could put a super cool in there. Oh, that's the plan.
Speaker 3Also we need more. Yes, we need more out there. Yeah, I was like I love bikini, breeze the stands, but I would love them even more if I could go around and see somebody look like me. Yeah, like, wow, making double the fun, yeah. So yeah, do you? I said a third word, thought I did, yeah, when, how long you're gonna? Oh, let's see.
Speaker 3Well, I mean, I think I've been out since my whole childhood because, you know, the older family members are as like, hmm, you know, I was like something to say about the weight I was gaining or losing and why and how, and. But I think I kind of was forced to accept it, probably, yeah, like around my like late teens, early 20s, because it was just, it was just always a subject that's everybody need to talk about it. I used to live in a different life. I used to be a praise and worship leader, really into like this Christian church poll situation, and there was always a Conversation around me leaving praise and worship because I was too distracted apparently. Oh, yeah, I moved too much. They wanted me to be in turtles and other things and stuff. It just was like I'm not gonna do that what's your review?
Speaker 1Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3I'm where I should have been the whole time, however. Oh, I just yeah, it was.
Speaker 2It was always a Conversation piece, and so I just was like yeah here I am and young and I'm.
Speaker 3Now it's gonna be even tighter.
Speaker 2You know, now I just started fucking with people, yeah.
Speaker 3I was giving my all to the board you know yeah.
Speaker 3Um, and I think that that's when I finally like this. I'm gonna Want to do this also. One time I used to be married that's hilarious and Hi divorcee. I one time I was married and my there was a in-law. That was like you know, you can't keep eating, that you need anything else. They're watching me eat. And we were all eating, but they just had something to say to me no, yeah, you need to have anything else. And I was like oh well, you're son, that's it. So yeah.
Speaker 3Right, you know, you can get me some more honey right. Yeah, I would say like why, if you're, if you see to me suck, you meet our financing. Maybe you can give me your pain. Yes, that doesn't mean I'm gonna take it not, but you are welcome to share it. Sure, depending on how you share.
Speaker 1So what's up besides it that? What do you call those things? I'm sorry, and Blinking on those big broken RVs that you want to have. Oh, besides, actually, what's in the future when you play?
Speaker 3I am really, really interested in sex tech. I deeply interested in sex care and In the ways in which we can have more representation. There are so many things happening in sex tech and AI and I really wanted to be diverse bodies and diverse Sexualities and genders and I want us to be a part of that. I feel like a lot of times, people making money off of us, the image of us, you know, but I want us to be more behind the scenes and owning the software, owning the toys I have some, really I was. That's why I was in your talk and I was really excited to hear about you all partnering Different sex toy companies, because I'm really interested in Creating. I have some like ideas around types of toys and accessories.
Speaker 1So are there any luck on sex toy manufacturers or designers yet?
Speaker 3I believe there. I know of one Well, her name is Nina and she almost feel more oh, yeah, yeah, yeah but that's it I don't, I don't know anyone else. I'm sure there are more, but there needs to be more Right, so I went on beat one of the best great goal.
Speaker 1Thank you so much, or so, yeah, thank you for happening.
Speaker 2Thanks y'all.
Speaker 3I.
Speaker 1Just came from an amazing keynote speech talk conversation with Tigris Osborn, who was talking today about Napa and all the different Things that Napa can do for all of us and that you all have to get involved and help them with our money and our time On our legwork. And it was wonderful, as always. Thank you, tigris, so happy to have you here today.
Speaker 3Thank you for having. Thank you for coming to the keynote curse. I know y'all have been very busy all this conference, so. I'm really honored that you made time to pop in for that.
Speaker 1So tell us a little bit about your position with Napa and how long you've been and advocating for all of us, that is. I know it's a long time with them in the three years you've been involved in it.
Speaker 3I've been involved with NAFA, for I think almost I've been involved with NAFA since 2000,. No 2012. I hosted a fashion show, or NAFA produced a fashion show for NAFA 2012. And then I was the board chair for two years and now the executive director, starting back to the three years that you're thinking of.
Speaker 3But I started my life as a sort of public figure of sadness when I created Full Figure Entertainment in Oakland in 2008, which FFE was like a nightlife promotion company. So I hosted hip hop parties in Oakland and San Francisco for about nine years.
Speaker 1My mom and I went to one. Yeah, my mom was like well, she's still getting, she's still actually getting used to the whole concept of being. It's okay, we call that. So it was a, I open it for her.
Speaker 3Yeah, and FFE we used. I mean we used Full Figure because that was the name of the organization, but we used FFE all the time amongst ourselves and I was just beginning to learn more about. I mean, I'd known about NAFA since I was 18. I first learned about NAFA when I was in college, because there's someone at my college, kerry Hemingway, who's a really active member of NAFA's Boston community back then did a presentation at my school that was actually on my 18th birthday.
Speaker 2Oh, wow Did a presentation.
Speaker 3I think it was called Large Body Ladies, it had some kind of name like that, but she just talked about like there's like what size acceptance was, which was the term NAFA was using then, Now we use the term fat liberation to talk about the movement but or fat rights, sometimes fat advocacy, but she was anyway.
Speaker 3I learned about it when I was 18, but I didn't get involved until I was in my 30s and, yeah, as the board chair I helped to like recruit a lot of like new people to NAFA. Like set a more intersectional tone for our work.
Speaker 3And so now what we're leaning into is doing a lot of work around changing the narratives, and immediate narratives, especially about what fat is and what fat can be and should be allowed to be. And then, of course, we're doing a lot of work with our campaign for size freedom, which we co-founded with our friends at Slayer, which is a fat-label advocacy organization, and the campaign works on supporting passing more legislation called outlaw size discrimination.
Speaker 1Thank you, oh my goodness. So much work to do there, but the work you've done so far is just amazing.
Speaker 3Well, we don't do it alone right, like we do it in really, you know, working in coalition with other organizations and like in New York City which is what a lot of people are excited about now, because it's the most visa law that was passed last year and went into effect in November and like in New York City, we worked really closely with labor movement in particular. But you know, we're just building lots of other kinds of coalition. So one of the things that we've been doing is we Ashleigh extraordinary producer, everything came up with this creative idea to ask people I'm sexy because, because we're being sexy chat. So we want to know why are you sexy? I'm big, I'm big sexy Me and I'm sexy because I'm smart and sassy.
Speaker 2That's for sure.
Speaker 3Also, let's boost the sexy for 2020.
Speaker 3Yes, what has been your most exciting or interesting thing that you've seen here. At that time I just, you know, I love just seeing the folks together, right Like, what's really exciting for me is getting to meet people who it's their very first time being in a fat, positive space with a lot of other fat people. I love being in spaces like this because folks bring their most audacious outfits and you know, and they're, you know they come, you know things they may or may not wear in their regular lives, but they know they're in a space where people are going to appreciate that and so I just love the people watching. I love watching people. I love watching seeing what turns other people on about fat live stuff that's new for them or that they're getting reawakened out, and then just like, yeah, just getting to see each, everybody Love on each other, yeah, the little times that we've been able to step out that was the one thing I really noticed is that there's so much more like hugging and like, like hats on the arms or the back, you know, just like at any convention you don't usually see that kind of stuff, and so to see all these people just like, oh, I see you, we're all you know it's so nice.
Speaker 3I was on a panel with the therapist and she also does a body positive like a fat positive yoga space and one of the things she said to the people in the room was there are people here like. Everyone here wants something great for you. You don't.
Speaker 3They don't even know your name and they want something good for you, and I wrote that down word for word, like I just stopped in the middle. I'm like I'm supposed to be answering this question too and I'm all bigger just because I wanted to capture that word for word what she said, because it's true, right, and you can feel that in the energy here and I've been in other, I mean, you know, even at you know, in nightlife, like I said, I started in my life In nightlife there's a lot of people that want something good for you. There's a lot of people that just want your good and there's a lot of, you know, and people are drinking and it's you know. There are people who are, you know, like who did what's who and he said, she said this one did this with that one's man, and there's all this like drama, right. So there's all this wonderful space you can be in, these like nightlife collectives or the BBW bashes or like spaces like that, where you can get some of this right. You get these vendors who are selling bad ass fat people stuff, and you got, you know, people making friends and you get to see everybody in their socials who have the bull and like all of that stuff. But there's also some competition, you know. There's like some social competition or this competition for, like, who's trying to get to have sex with this one, and now, like, there's all this other stuff, plus there's community stuff, there's all this other stuff, and I'm sure there's some of that here.
Speaker 3I'm sure there are people here like who can I get down with? I'm sure, but also, but the overall feeling here is really a feeling of support, like everybody is excited to be with each other. Everybody is excited to like tell each other the things they love about other people. Like I've had, you know, so many people be like, oh, big sex, a chat. You know that I've had. I've had so many people be like, you know, big sex, a chat that changed my. You know, that's my intro to something.
Speaker 3And or about you know, oh, you'll know so and so, or like it's not just what are you doing, it's also I'm excited to tell you about how excited I was about the other things I'm doing here and other people I've gotten a chance to meet or take pictures with. Or I just wanted to go to so and so's workshop, you know, and it just like it feels really contagious and it feels really like it's just like an insanity loop, right, like it just keeps, or an analogy that it just keeps. You know, you give, you give, you get. Yeah, it's really really good energy here. I'm curious We've had you on the pod multiple times and we always ask at the end of the pod what your favorite sex really is, and the topics that you've come on to speak with us about on the pod have never included really having to talk about sex, sex positivity, and it's weird to go from, like you know, here's the work that we did with this city council and its city council, and let me tell you about this vibrator.
Speaker 2Like it's a weird transition right. Well then we talked about hysterectomy.
Speaker 3Yeah it was just not the sexy time, so yeah.
Speaker 2I'm curious.
Passion, Dating, and Emotional Reflection
Speaker 3Now that we have you here, we've kind of evolved this question so it's not just the vibrator, it can be what's your favorite sex toy, sexual aid or what gets you in the mood? Oh, I would love to hear, oh, I would like someone to get me in the mood sometime soon. My mood has been a lot of Napa, and that is, you know, it's sexy in that passionate work is sexy. You know, I am turned on by other people's passion about the world, like not just the things that are directly sexual, but like a passionate person is exciting to me. So that can help get me in the mood. I am like one of those people who's genuinely like a really smart person. You know, just is that is a turn on for me. But I've been, you know, being smart and sassy in mostly in settings that are not the you know, not the hip-hop setting. I didn't go to the city council and see who I could holler at at the city council, right and so. So I feel a little rusty about crying.
Speaker 3Like they remember some, some memories, but but that definitely is like that. That vibe of of like someone who is really passionate and really smart is like that is a turn off. Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1Right Is a sex disorder. Sure.
Speaker 3It just leads to so many other things, because once you're connected on that level and seal that sort of vibe, but it just it feeds into so many other things. Yeah, and and I don't know, I think someone taking me on a cruel date would be a really big turn on for me at this stage in my life, like I haven't like dated in a while, and when I think about just like oh, we're just going to go to a restaurant, like that's great, fine, but like what?
Speaker 3else you know what else could be, what else could he do? I would definitely be like I'd be impressed, and you know, if we, if there was somebody that I had good chemistry with, it would be on its own at the end of a creative date. I mean, I guess, if the chemistry was going to get the on and pop and at the end of the talk about, but like the special thing.
Speaker 3I think that creativity is really sexy, you know, even like before you get to the better, but then also when you get to the better. I guess, if you're being creative, whatever room space.
Speaker 1Yeah, all the room, all the room.
Speaker 3Well, we again are so grateful for your time and the efforts that you're doing within the fact community and fat liberation. It's just, it's always a pleasure, thank you. Well, I listened to your your interview, so I know about the 50,000, you know all the things this year. So congratulations on your success. I don't only listen to, I don't only pay attention to your podcast when you fight me on.
Speaker 2I am enlist. I am a fan.
Speaker 3So thank you for all the work, that you have Another infinity room.
Speaker 1Thank you. Thank you Very great. You're a bit recently. We are where we are. Thank you.
Speaker 3Happy Mary Thigmas. Everyone, Look who we have here we have a box of plenty.
Speaker 1So excited. Such a great call out, you must be excited.
Speaker 3I'm very tired.
Speaker 2You're so high, you're high and tired.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's one of those things where, like, like, there's like the emotions are so, so high and, like you know, you need to go to sleep. I don't think you can. I feel like there's like a, there's a hum in the body, right yeah.
Speaker 1It's so hard to come down. Yeah, Especially like next week in the cold, we should probably feel like really there's a lot. You can feel like a month or months and months getting ready and then all of a sudden, this is done.
Speaker 3Yeah, this is a, it's a huge like the adrenaline dumping of the system. It's like it's the end of the dynamic dopamine head and then the you know the bottom is going to come out Crash. It's like you know, in key that's the, you know self-drawn.
Speaker 3So, thinking about what you know, drop and all those things are very, they're all very sparse, so I'm really lucky my my partners is taking morrow off and to stay out. It's like a household recovery time with some additional help, because usually when this kind of things end I don't know the next day right which we will be rough after. Care is so important for everything who bless yes. So what was your favorite part? Did you have a favorite part?
Speaker 1or a surprise.
Speaker 3It was a surprise that how emotional I was this week. I was very emotional this weekend. I was like I was crying on Wednesday when we got here and we looked at how like the space is, so beautiful it's really nice.
Speaker 2It's really beautiful, right.
Speaker 3And you think this space is super beautiful. It's like, it's like 15 years old yeah. It's like a grand scheme of things, you're in Seattle.
Speaker 2Sure.
Speaker 3But like, yeah, I was just like actually it should be happening, yeah, but so like just the emotion, I was really surprised at how emotional I was the whole time and it turns out my favorite part. Just like watching people make new friends, yes, like seeing those connections hugging like it's, I guess it says yes.
Speaker 2All right, there's a lot of.
Speaker 3There's a lot of like the connection, like the connection. And then there's just these moments of like we've been talking for months. That's right, and so when you're hugging, you're hugging someone for the first time that you develop this some level of intimacy Sure, actually, I've been in a room with before. It's very confusing for the brain. Like the first time I threw my arms around Tha si. It felt it felt oddly familiar, this being the first time I've actually been the same level as the person.
Speaker 1Yeah, I got a little bit choked up during this action show. Yeah, because it's just like there's a lot of stuff in the rest of the world Everybody should be able to sell. This beautiful, it's such a lovely place and space that you gave them, gave all of us. I was like, okay, I can't, I can't watch it. And also, we used to have fashion shows. You know, we had all kinds of sign that are curvy girl fashion shows and we all miss it, you know, and it was just like I'm definitely a little bit funny today.
Speaker 3It was beautiful. Yeah, the fashion show is gorgeous. God's Brick House and I are really good friends and we share a lot of similarities in like how we were raised and how we grew up, but also certain a lot of similarities in like how we move in the world, and I love the way she could, like she controls an audience.
Speaker 2She covers fans and I am. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Yeah, she's beautiful.
Speaker 3People were like Brick House and the outfit was just walking. Gay panic, oh, a lot of gay panic this weekend. I had a lot of gay panic this weekend. I was like gay, but I was like yeah, I see you, I see you, I get it. Yes, yeah, you just gravitate towards here Like yeah, I want, like I. My favorite feeling in the world is being hugged and Brick House.
Speaker 2It's so good.
Speaker 3Yeah, and I, just I, I let her commentary and her little jokes and everything about the way that she moves and she commands an audience. She's very impressive.
Speaker 1Well, it's hard to generalize stuff for her, for sure your magnetic, so what?
Speaker 3I have so many questions and obviously we don't have time to, you know, consider all of them, but what was something that really stood out to you is like I learned this from this weekend. I learned that, you know, I didn't really think I was a perfectionist and I was. I had a perfectionist. I didn't know that for myself and I was really.
Speaker 3I was really struggling with, like being in gaps and holes, that I'm like, oh, I didn't, how did I not think about that, how did we catch that? And so, like the, the idea of next day quarterbacking actively as an event is happening, I don't think it's actually very productive but it was happening, it was happening.
Community Collaboration in Fat Positivity
Speaker 3We were just like oh no, no, no, no, no. And there was just some things, like you know, some things we didn't, we didn't anticipate like viral, so like having to anticipate bringing security and things like that, like there's some things.
Speaker 2They were lovely yeah.
Speaker 3And the Dyches on Vikings. They were wonderful.
Speaker 2They were going okay.
Speaker 3They're just fantastic. So I mean, I think there were a lot of things that are some things that we didn't think about, but they also left, like these really interesting opportunities to see how we can come together really quick and like make some decisions and have them, and also watching how we can rally. It was like going back on the Dyches on bikes. I made a post about how, like we're dealing with some, some fallout, and to have their sardine at arms reach out and be like how can, how can we show up with this community because we want to be there and like that's what it's all about, like bringing in these different communities and how can we show up as allies. So it was really fun.
Speaker 1It was really good to feel so supported by such all of your community and so many people and all your volunteers. It's like, yeah, they did that because of you. They did, you're the one. It was also fun to meet the Sillys at Conway and they'll be so long enough to meet the person like, oh my gosh, it's a moment, artists are very, very different, are they?
Speaker 3Well, I mean, I guess we're very different because they're they're they're really focused on like elevating local, silly, oh cool Folks, on kind of East Coast folks who were like well, well, that like you want to come teach, oh, you live in Poland, sure, right, like it was kind of this thing and just being able to have like a friendly rapport with them, like out the gate, like one of the first things I said, where I was just like hey, like we've also been here and like I never wanted to come across and like, hey, we're going to fix, change anything. One of the things that you said was just like we want you to come and we want to come Right, and I think that's what I was really, really neat to be welcomed into their spaces, into their home and then welcome, welcome into our space and our home Just felt really, really good. There's no competition.
Speaker 1There's nine billion, seven billion people on the planet. There's plenty for all of us. It's more like collaboration, co-operations, what I like to call it, and that's really beautiful. It's just a great example for our community. Absolutely.
Speaker 3I mean it's a scarcely mindset, is not something I'm interested in.
Speaker 1Not sexy.
Speaker 3Not at all and I think that like this, yeah, collaboration, and realizing that, like you know, they are his room for all of us, and I think they're. I love the idea that we have fat columns and all these different cities having fat cons and then Seattle is just like the Mecca at one point, Like everyone comes to Seattle and bring your fat cons and I like next year I would love to see just peoples of different fat events around the country. I kind of like if you've ever been to like like a leather event or like some private events, and they have all the different parts. I would love to have all the different like fat events, like on the stage the whole weekend. It would be really beautiful.
Speaker 1Yeah, and studies need our own flag, just occur to me.
Speaker 3You're saying that, yeah, make it purple, yeah.
Speaker 1And you listen to this role as they talk about how fat girls all love purple, yeah. And then also they think that none of us have natural color hair. All faties have some kind of pink or purple or green or teal in our hair At least the queer ones.
Speaker 3So one of the things that we came up with well, ashley came up with for the con was a batch that says I'm sexy because and wanting to hear everyone's response to I'm sexy because your response I am sexy because I exist. I exist in this body. I exist in this body. I am sexy because I exist in this body. Yes, I'm a percentile. Yeah, great answer.
Speaker 3Yeah, so how long do you identify this that I feel like I started using the word that describe myself, like right around my gun to cake. I started when I got into kink is when I started identifying as fat. So that would have been bad. It was a decade ago. It was when I felt comfortable and then if you notice any kind of communication with me online or anything like that, that is capitalized. I capitalized black and they capitalized fat. And we did have some pushback in, like when we were initially kind of figuring out like our language and stuff like that for our website stuff and I was like he's capitalized fat. Well, like he's capitalized fat, I want it big. Right, it's a descriptor, it's big. But yeah, I always kept those black and they always capitalized fat. Wonderful, well, you should. Yeah, me, did we ask when we originally spoke to people about your favorite sex toy? Oh, we have not.
Speaker 2That's okay, we didn't even know.
Speaker 3I have this, like this vibrator that has no, it's like a no name brand situation. It was gifted to me by a friend and I think it's on its last legs on the search, but it's like, it's like a long, it's a long cock. I don't insert it, I just like the straw, like it has, like the right vibration and it had it forever and I know it's going to die, like it's got probably like a good six to nine months in it, maybe you know like you're going to count it down.
Speaker 3Like not me like snacking it on the side where the batteries go sometimes, cause it makes like a weird buzz. I'm like cool I'm working with, but yeah, it's like one of my favorites and but like I'm really curious about all these like little like the womanizer stuff. I'm like I love reading the reviews that people read about the first time they use those stories and how their spirit Use their body, right. Yeah, I'm like I would also like nice.
Speaker 2Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1It's quite yeah.
Speaker 3Highly recommend it. I like. It's on my list of the thing to try. This one is younger eyes, terrified of the tachies. Oh yeah, they're like they, they're so loud and they I know I slept like. I feel like I'm gonna put it there and when I remove it I'm it's gonna be like Barbie. And I don't, I am almost four years old and that's still like an irrational fear that was right free in my head. I don't know, I don't know. Yeah, we got it. We've got a step of your sex.
Speaker 3I know me and my dusty side swimming. This is the only when it works. I know but if it's getting ready to dive, let's.
Speaker 2It's time for an upgrade sounds like it like I got some weird family.
Speaker 1One thing I want to circle back to before we end this. I know we have to wrap it up. I signed the King community super, super, duper body friendly and I know there's there's those clicks of that that only you know. I will only fuck a person who's you know thin and in shape, that's they can go fuck each other. Yeah, I'm gonna find each other whatever, but, like 95% of the key communities, it's like are you know? I think yeah.
Exploring Sexuality and Kink Communities
Speaker 3Yeah, I mean. Yeah, I mean part of that right is like we're talking about kink in general, like like books are. We don't say is with hyper sex and stuff's repulsive I'm and so some. Like this idea of like this thing is been so taboo to even talk about, like Even to talk about with your partner, like you know, like if you're a fan, if you're, like you know, clocked as a woman, do you know too much about what you like or enjoy?
Speaker 3and you've definitely been around the block for and right and then like and then, like Men are supposed to know everything because, like, there you know.
Speaker 3So it's like you run into these erotic mismatches and people, and so when people finally decide to like come into kink, I think it's like People are like searchy people, were truly think that the thing that interests us in that is they are just alone in the world. And so when you find someone that is like yes, on into that, it's aha moment. And I definitely have seen a lot more like welcoming relationships with, like with books or fat and like straight-size folks and things like that. You're crossing those lines because their kinks are matching up. And then they're discovering that, like, behind this fat kinky person is the one that like Actually have like the same interest as me and you know these things. Like that, I think there is a lot of dehumanization of that people. We're fully realized humans, what. But I mean I would say that by being getting active in the sex positive community in Seattle Is where I ended up, I started like my body, positivity, like me, because at that time that's what we're still calling.
Speaker 3Yeah, yeah, so much and so it was the confidence of walking through a dungeon, you know, at first, kind of in a risky outfit than a very risky outfit, than like they could make it a little you know, like that journey to evolution and Making yeah, I remember like really one of the first scenes, scenes I did as I as a, as a dominant, was within another fat femme and you let people shut, walked in, did the scene together and Left and I was getting messages on that life for weeks after being like, will you, were you the time that did look like that. That was some shit. Yeah, that was ridiculous. And then fucking, just like ninja banders kind of. They're like absolutely, I'm like we weren't there for you, right, like we were there for your eyes and your energy, because I'm an ex-executist, right, right, especially when people don't want me to be in the space of the thing I really like, that sadist. I'm like we weren't there for you, you know so where can people find all of the pups?
Speaker 3pups is, you see, like master card was everywhere you want to?
Speaker 3be, yeah, I'm gonna be Trotting a little a little a little bit this year for some, for less related stuff. Yeah, we're gonna sit down, have our brief at that back on. And something that came out of the two the tailitude fat Collins panel. There are folks that want to join that content? Okay, because really it was six of us and six of us is not enough for a Kind of a hotel takeover style Event and I just gonna turn, turn over there across the street. There is the high, yeah, but there all right. So you went across the street.
Speaker 3Oh shit, I was technically, we Outgrew the space in terms of the convention space. But yeah, yeah, we know that one is a little bit more. I'll tell you as we've been plotting this entire weekend. Luckily there are beautiful windows out here at the high. It was a furry convention.
Speaker 1Yes, they were.
Speaker 3We would like this. We need to stop and go. People watching this is fun. Yeah, we're folks that were like, hey, like if we do go across the street, like with this weekend next to be available, or the furry Collins has been their weekend, then so we cannot have this weekend next, next year, and so maybe let the following weekend, yeah. But there's also whispers that maybe we can have now and you don't know. We're just kind of looking at we planning these events are very expensive, so part of that is like reaching out to the hotel. They're like where are the? What are the weekends that you're having the hardest time? So like this, that can't be Easter weekend.
Speaker 3I wonder mom picks Easter weekend birthday to it. Yeah, they're in Seattle. There are two cons that happen. The elections comes, that happen at Easter and then down in Portland there is a peak fast every Easter so what's people want to find you online?
Speaker 3your website is put direction so my website is Mx Hubsa Plenty comm. That's really good. You can go to fatcomorg to learn more about that con. I'm gonna fat less sest north-west, or more about that last sest. And then Instagram. That I feel like is like everyone's just gonna like I was forward really back on, so they don't have a website, they, they're there as I G. You know like that's amazing. Well, I would say, be a lot of energy, sure, money, um yeah, but we're on Instagram at the fatcom the, the fact on we're also. You also check me out at pupsa20 production and Fatless sest north-west and for interesting pinky stuff you can find me at the heat in this realist Love it.
Speaker 3Yeah, that was a great name, yeah, a friend called me that once in a row talk I was. I'm, I'm really wait. I don't know where that comes from, but I know I was just like I'm a heat in this, I'm like, but I do recognize that like every day can be blocking all because we're the dishes and she's like oh my god, you're such a genius realist like that's my look like that's what happened.
Speaker 2That's. That's the life story.
Speaker 3Yeah, it's like I am digging a cover and me like and all like just me and like a jewel toned down and then everything's all jeweled tone and there's like all this definite food and wine bottles all tipped over. If you start looking at the future, like is that folded laundry back?
Speaker 2there that kids toys there is that like.
Speaker 3Like. I want everyone to have a pleasure filled life, whatever that looks like for them, as long as they're not being hard on us. I mean, that's, that's what I feel.
Speaker 1I would say these kids, animals in your family, on it, get down with your bad self, absolutely it could serve, as I want to thank you All of these much for being here and doing this work.
Speaker 3I know there's a lot of work and chasing down people and, like I Intentionally didn't sign it for a select and like they'll just slot me in, I'm gonna be the last slot me in. But I really appreciate just how on board y'all have been from the work go version. It means a lot and, like you know, we're on every single post just like this can be great. This is gonna be great, this is gonna be great. And there were days where I was like I Careers and then I'd see big sexy chat pop up.
Speaker 2We're so excited.
Speaker 3And they're gonna solution points like I'm like, if no one else is high, big sexy. Okay, we're gonna make this a bit for big sexy chat like it was it was a huge rallying thing for the, the team that, like, even on the days where we like we're like man, like those are getting traction or whatever, yeah, y'all would swing in with the words of encouragement and I just need one social media tip to the other.
Speaker 1Saddies out there listening to this Forward or more comment on everybody's posts will help us all. So much. You can just comment with four words yeah, not just many faces forwards the words and then that will help us be all out everywhere and everybody's speed and will will be more successful. We'll have more people, or gas, more sponsors or money.
Speaker 3Yeah yeah, I mean I know that the conversation goes up more talking about that liberation. You know, capitalism comes up right. Of course, this event has been accused being commercial and I'm like, okay, um, in order for us to lower ticket prices, in order for us to make these things successful, we're going to need a lot more money coming in so that we can subsidize those things. And so in order to add an order to opt out of capitalism, you have to have the capital to you. Period like Capitalism is not going to disappear in a decade, it's not going to disappear in 20 years. I feel like capital like it is, and we long we've gone in debt, you know, before we even actually start to think about what life Post-capitalism will look like. So an order to opt out of it. You got to have it, and that Me. Sometimes that means, like I've been to reach out to the organizations that have money and things like that.
Building Love and Leveraging Systems
Speaker 3So I don't want to say that you can't have it both ways, but, baby, I don't think you can have it both ways right now. Yes, couples and love it and you know all the same time.
Speaker 1Yeah, it is the system, and so we have no way around it. So we have. But you can gamify it.
Speaker 3Right. We can. We can team together and use our leverage. We can build a spot around or a more, get more piece of that and and use it and to distribute it more Into marginalized spaces. So go with in fast spaces. So Sometimes you have to play the game even though the game is right and the game is great.
Speaker 2Doesn't mean that you can't break it right break it yeah.
Speaker 1Thank you, Pax. Amazing interview. Thank you for everything this week. Yes.
Speaker 3And we are looking forward to a share. But first we wrap. If you want something for me, though you don't you don't know me for next year's super chat, right?
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