Dearest Gentle Listeners: From Bridgerton To Diverse Sexualities

Ever wondered how TV shows like Bridgerton are reshaping our perceptions of body positivity and sexuality? Join us as we uncover Nicola Coughlin's empowering stance on body image and her witty response to the press, all while debating Hollywood's narrow definition of plus size. We also tackle the evolving portrayal of sex scenes in Bridgerton, noting the community's mixed reactions to the shift away from explicit content. Our admiration for Nicola shines through as we advocate for more diverse body representations on the small screen.

Shifting gears, we celebrate Nicola Coughlin beyond Bridgerton, spotlighting her activism, especially her support for Palestine. We reflect on the latest Bridgerton season, appreciating its character development and feel-good vibes. As we stroll down memory lane remembering TV series with 23-episode seasons, we offer a humorous critique of Bridgerton’s historical liberties and share our excitement for future seasons and deeper character arcs.

In our deep dive into diverse sexualities, we shed light on less-discussed identities like AroAce and demisexuality, explaining their unique nuances. We kicked off our new Unplugged mini-episodes with artist Kat Coulter, sharing her fears of live appearances and insights on balancing engaging content for social media. Wrapping up, we discuss personal experiences with sex toys and the importance of building a supportive fat girl community for open discussions about body positivity and sexuality. Don’t forget to subscribe to BigSexyChat to stay connected with our vibrant community!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:37

Hi, welcome to Big Sexy Chat. I'm Crystal, I'm Murph. We're just two rad fatties sitting around chewing the fat Twice a month.

Speaker 1: 0:46

We'll be chatting about current events hot topics sex, sex toys, fat politics, fat community cannabis, CBD, you name it. We're going to talk about it. We are very excited to have you a part of our community. Welcome and enjoy. Hi, welcome back to Big Sexy Chat. I'm here with my co-host, Murph, and my name is Crystal. We're so happy to have you and to be back on track for our fun and favorite, loving, most exciting podcast. Murph, what's going?

Speaker 2: 1:13

on. Hey, it's been a while since we've done just a standard kind of format, so we've got some stuff to catch up on. I am not sure if you have seen Bridgerton. Let's talk about it.

Speaker 1: 1:28

I've seen four episodes but I want to hear all about it. I'm loving it so far, but I haven't seen any perfect breasts yet, but I'm waiting.

Speaker 2: 1:34

Yes, so Nicola Coughlin, she is the star of this series and she got interviewed, or she was interviewed by someone on the press junket and basically they asked her about her body type and her response was just absolutely beautiful. She said basically like oh, you mean being a member of the Perfect Breast Club? Which they are, the Perfect Breast Club. Like holy, yeah, like fantastic.

Speaker 1: 2:10

Yeah, and make those assholes explain what they mean Exactly. When someone says a racist joke, you're like I'm sorry, I don't understand what do you mean? Can you explain it to me? And they're like oh, I'm a fucking idiot. That's what she did to them, right?

Speaker 2: 2:21

That's exactly what she did to them. It was a good like oh, yeah, yeah, no, my type, my body type, yeah, you mean the perfect breasts. Yes, it was so perfectly sarcastic. Um, you know, that's has brought up a lot of conversation.

Speaker 2: 2:37

Uh, in our community there's been a lot of talk about, um, do we perceive Nicola as plus size? First of all, um, there was somebody actually on the internet comparing her to like the Kate Winslet of the Titanic time and how people were like, oh, kate Winslet is so brave for you know, and it's like Nicola and Kate Winslet, both at that time were what? Maybe a size 10? Maybe, I mean, it's really, it's not what I would define as plus size. Now, is it something that's very uncommon that you see in mainstream media? A thousand percent, but that's not in my eyes and I'm curious what your opinion is. But I'm hearing all these people be like oh well, you know, they're not allowing this or that, or they're doing this or that because of her size, and it's like well, I mean, we don't usually see someone that has a very round face, you know, and so that is very different from you. You know, the standard kind of starlet that you see these days, but nothing about her. I mean, she wears skims, she's one of the new representatives for skims and that's a very well, it's a trash you know thing, because it's Kardashian as far as I'm concerned, but that's like they go up to size 12, if that you know. So it's like. So we're not really talking about somebody who's you know reached some Mecca of quote unquote, plus size you know being displayed.

Speaker 1: 4:05

I was wondering if we knew her size, but that that does help explain it a little bit. So in the fashion world you know, if you're oversized for you're considered plus size and then when you are actually plus size which I think most people define as 14 and higher then that's considered plus size and below that is considered straight size. Don't ask me why straight or plus. It's so strange, but we all know Hollywood, you know you're basically people trying to be a zero, a size zero or double zero, and she definitely is not that. But she's definitely not fat in my opinion. My opinion. She just is a little bit shorter, on the shorter side of life. She has honking boobs and when you're shorter it makes you look sort of fat. She has a cute cherubic face. It's very adorable and beautiful and I have a girl crush on her. But I know, like zillions of people do. And, yeah, maybe she can be considered a small fat, but not as far as fashion is considered.

Speaker 2: 5:05

The fashion rules, rules, that is anyway. Yeah, and I I think there's there's some, you know, uh up in arms, uh within the community, especially thinking, you know terms of like they didn't, um, move forward with. I guess there were extra scenes that were filmed, um sex scenes specifically, and they didn't, you know, those got the cut from the actual series and so people are like they're not showing as much sex because she's plus size. I really don't agree with that. After watching the first season of Bridgerton which, hello, that's the reason all of us got into this because every scene had sex in it, which was incredible. All of us got into this because every scene had sex in it, which was incredible.

Speaker 2: 5:39

But ever since then there has been less and less and less sex. Just in general, like I felt, like the second episode or the second series about the brother. I love the characters, but I was like when are they going to hook up? And it wasn't until like the very, very end and it was only one scene. So it was just like this was such a letdown. And then, with Queen Charlotte, there wasn't you know as much.

Speaker 2: 6:01

So it's like we get here to this season three and it's hyped like crazy because it's not somebody you normally see on screen in a sexual manner. Thank you, american public, for making that happen. But we're trying to make those changes and so we start to see these options and then people get super upset because they're like, well, you're doing this because she's plus size and you don't want to show her body, and I don't think that's accurate. I think they want to reach a more general, broad audience and have people be into the romance of the stories for Bridgerton and not so much the sex. So I think it's one of those like, let's kind of um, play it down so that we can get a larger audience. And then those people that want to go back and read the books. That has lots of smut in it and I love the word dirty.

Speaker 2: 6:53

I love it dirty girl murphy yeah right, I'm hoping we're gonna have someone on here very soon talking about fat girls and fiction and you know so, um. But yeah, it's like if you can get this audience, then they'll go back and read the books the one they're old enough, you know, or their parents allow them, or whatever. But I really feel like this series has been kind of the standard of Bridgerton series. I don't think it's something that they're doing because of her weight at all.

Speaker 2: 7:23

I think it's just that they want a broader audience, and you can't do that with Smut.

Speaker 1: 7:27

How can I get access to Bridgerton Uncut Like? Is there a bloopers reel? I want to see it all.

Speaker 2: 7:34

Seriously. I'm like let's put those scenes back in there. I want to know what's up bridgerton x-rated, r-rated that's right, the nc-17 bridgerton. Now I will say, this series featured something I was not expecting to see but was glad to see there was some polyamory themes to it.

Speaker 1: 7:54

And so that was interesting.

Speaker 2: 7:55

I was very excited to see that they didn't go into depth with that either. You know, it's very much just like kissing and touching, which is what you saw a lot of between Nicola and Luke, but you know, Luke.

Speaker 2: 8:22

But you know it's very much a different approach than what they normally do and it's been kind of a progressive series, I would say, like it starts to talk about some things in this series, especially about like the patriarchy and just the plight of women and like having the option for freedom and what does your voice mean, and those types of things. So I was like all right, I'm liking this.

Speaker 1: 8:41

you know poly stuff happening and where we're going with this I want to tell bridgerton people pump the brakes on this whole idea of making it more generic. No, go lean into the sacks. That's what sells. We all know that. Uh, also sidebar, our lovely producer just confirmed that nicola's size is size 10. Size 10,? Yeah, and she's probably really under tall right. She's not real super tall.

Speaker 2: 9:04

She's got to be, yeah, fairly, but she's I love it. I love that. You know she's got like some very round features and features that you don't see. But yeah, I'm just, I really get stuck on that Like um, but uh, yeah, I'm just, I really get stuck on that, like we're not really talking plus size here and if, if y'all aren't okay with her, like you're really not gonna be okay with me.

Speaker 1: 9:25

We're fucked. We're so screwed. Yeah, she's adorable, though. I love her whatever size she is, but I know the world is making it um a little bit intense, I guess, about her. What else has she been in? Why do I know her already? What do I know her from?

Speaker 2: 9:39

just no irish show daryl what's it called, uh darby girls, or yeah, darby girls, dairy or dary, I forget, it was so cute though, yeah, I did, I didn't watch it, uh, but you know, I think that she's um, I think she's a great actress and she's. She's kind of like a political activist too. She just raised a ton of money for palestine, which is amazing.

Speaker 2: 10:01

Um, you know to be on this tour and like wearing the pins so that people have to see it you know, and they, because they're the media is really big on like oh, we don't want you to, you know, wear anything that has that. So I think she's done really great. I think she's got a fantastic career ahead of her.

Speaker 1: 10:19

I love when people use their platform too. It's like, yeah, get it, you, take advantage of it while you have it, because we all know when you're in Hollywood, once you're like over 40, you're done. But she's doing some really cool work out there. I would love to see her as the host on SNL. Oh yeah, That'd be fun. She might this year because she's been, so she's like.

Speaker 1: 10:40

She's like the media darling right now isn't she, she is yeah she really is, and so the book is supposed to be naughtier oh, they're much naughtier, oh yeah I guess there's a second carriage scene in the book that did not make the cut of the show. Oh, yeah, I, yeah, I like them. Do you ever listen to books on tape or whatever Audiobooks? Oh yeah, it's my favorite. Yes, much easier for me and my ADHD brain to listen to a book than read it anymore. So it's my freaking hysterectomy.

Speaker 2: 11:09

Seriously, I'll start reading and then I'll be like wait, what did I just? Read I got to go back and I go back, and then I go back, and then I'm already squirreling again. So yeah, audio books are my, are my way to go anymore.

Speaker 2: 11:20

But there definitely going to be a few more episodes of Bridgerton, I mean seasons of Bridgerton, I think so they really did put a bow on it, though If they wanted to be like we're done At least I felt like that I mean, you could definitely get more in depth into the characters. I've heard a lot of people calling for the Bridgerton mom to be featured.

Speaker 1: 11:41

She's a widower.

Speaker 2: 11:43

And, like in this story, things kind of progress, and so I don't know. I think you know there's definitely a lot of opportunity there, but if they wanted to, they technically could have been done after this season, Please.

Speaker 1: 11:56

Sondra, we need you. You know, shonda, we need you. And off the air, whatever you want to call it. Murph and I were talking about at 56, when I was young, tv shows had 23 episodes. This eight-episode crap is not for me. I don't like it. I was watching Fallout it was only eight episodes. We're watching Acolyte it's only eight episodes. Like, what is the deal with eight episodes? I need more. Oh, the Last of Us, I need more. I need a whole season, 23 episodes, please.

Speaker 2: 12:22

The good old days, right, exactly when there would be so much content, we didn't even know what to do with it. And now it's like, oh, we're going to break it up into two months, like my into two months. Like my husband was like, wait, I thought that bridgerton already came out and I was like, yes, but it was only four episodes. And now it's like now it's june and then they're going to release the last four. And he was like this is the dumbest thing ever. I don't want to hear any more about it.

Speaker 1: 12:47

Yeah, I'm with james. Is there anything else about bridgerton? We should bring up that.

Speaker 2: 12:51

We uh, I just love any of the, any of the um scenes with the modiste and the clothes and stuff it just, I really enjoyed this season just for the character development and like it was very much a redemption story for a lot of different players in this series, and so it was nice to see that all come together at the end. And I think that's why I was so surprised that there was not a post-marriage sex scene, because I was like we're doing all this really great character development, all right, like it's going to happen and we're going to see like all this, like amazing, and then it didn't happen and I was just like wait, the series is over, wait, wait, nobody. No, I didn't agree to this, like whoa whoa, whoa, whoa no, I didn't agree to this.

Speaker 1: 13:39

Like whoa, whoa, whoa. How about the two sisters? They didn't really realize that that sex means like penis in your vagina and they're, you know in that era for sure that was like allowed, but they didn't even know. Like, yeah, well, we're not doing it correctly. Yeah, no, you're not doing it correctly. Where that's so funny. Yeah, yeah, I love it and yeah, I hope, I hope for more bridgerton. One thing I noticed because I hadn't. It took me a little while to get caught up. The first episode just left me smiling. I was like, oh, I miss this. It's nice to watch something that's more fluffy and light and, just like you know, the world is so dark right now. It's just like, oh, I was like smiling all day the next day. I was like I have to watch the next second episode. So now I'm through the first four.

Speaker 2: 14:18

Now I got to watch the last four, so good, and I one thing I really appreciated about this season was the, the relationship between the two main characters, because it, yes, it, it was very sexy, but it was very much about like I want to appreciate and love this aspect of you in all these different ways and it was very vocal, especially coming from a man like um the the things that women want to hear of.

Speaker 2: 14:49

Like I'm consumed by the thought of you like that's fucking sexy as hell. Like you know, like that's the kind of stuff that gets girls charged up, and so it's like okay, like they spent a lot of really solid time having that happen, and so I think that that really made you want the sex stuff even more, because it was just like I'm melting over here. I can only imagine what it's like having him breathing on your neck while he's saying this oh man, put your penis in my mouth now right, the hock to a girl's uh pretty popular right now.

Speaker 1: 15:26

Honestly, it just shows us in bridgerton you're gonna get the hock to we talk about our next subject in the article in the guardian I wanted to say a bridgerton, uh, more fat sex. B to the world more fat sex, more fat characters having sex, because, guess y'all, we have a lot of sex too. And then, c, I wanted to remind people that they can also watch us on YouTube. We're trying to get our YouTube channel in shape, so make sure you check out Big Sexy Chat on YouTube. But, murph, let's talk about the article in the Guardian article in the Guardian.

Speaker 2: 16:02

Yeah, so it's beach day, and it's beach day in New York which means everybody goes to the beach right, yep?

Speaker 2: 16:04

Well, it is for fat people, because they have fat beach day where you can go to the go to the ocean, lay on the sand, play in the water with a whole group of fat folk and talk about less intimidating, talk about building community, talk about all these amazing things. And the Guardian has not always been a news organization that puts fat people in any sort of positive light, and so I was very like I'm not clicking on this article. Um, cause there's there's this gorgeous fat girl, jordan Hall. Uh, who's the model? She's? If you see the article, she's laying out on the um sand in a two piece and just fucking gorgeous.

Speaker 2: 16:50

And I'm like this is gonna, they're going to shit all over this. Like I'm just in my brain, right, right. This like I'm just in my brain, right, right. So I clicked on it and I'm actually reading through and olivia empson, who wrote it, um, wow, kudos to you. Like this was a really well written article about the situations that fat people deal with in public and like needing a safe space and having an opportunity. Like it's a day y'all we're saying, like we want a day to go to the beach and feel safe with each other and just have a nice time at the beach. Like I don't think people most people understand what it is like, as a fat person, to be out in public and not feel like attacked when you go to do something as simple as go to the beach feel like attacked when you go to do something as simple as go to the beach.

Speaker 1: 17:40

Yeah, so true. I want to just share everybody's um jordan's ig with everyone. If you want to see someone who does not get a fuck, you need to follow her. It's j. You know I shouldn't say her, I actually don't know her pronouns. You should follow them, their their instagram is j-o-r-d-A-L-L-E-N Hall, jord Allen Hall, and yeah, she's really fun to follow on Instagram and yeah, I love it. You know that's that when you see someone like her, that's when you hear all the people say, oh, you're so brave, you're so brave.

Speaker 2: 18:13

Look at you. Where do you get your confidence? That's exactly it. I think that was why it was so nice to read this article, because it was like people are needing community right now and people need to feel safe, and so there's more and more of these pop-up events happening, like chunky dogs where people go get together and go to the swimming pool.

Speaker 2: 18:30

Um, you know, there's lots of different things that are starting to happen nationally, um, but for, like new york, this is like new york is starting to become very progressive. I mean, tigers did all that work to make sure that size acceptance was, you know, not something you could get fired for a protected class exactly so. It's like there's there's things happening and like you don't really think of that. When you think of new york, you think of like high fashion and like people smoking cigarettes walking everywhere and just like, yeah, like everything's super going everything's very black.

Speaker 2: 19:00

Yeah, it's so stereotypical right, but you know it's like to hear that there's um community and spaces being created where people are really um, not only encouraged to attend, but um just like or to celebrate. It know, like it's very rare that that sort of thing happens and this article talked about. You know how these different pop up events are really, you know, starting to change the way that people perceive when you go out. Most of the time you're going to get fat shamed in one way or another, with some microaggression or something very blatant, but it's when you go out in a large group of people it's very unlikely that someone is going to become aggressive with you or say some sort of thing, and so this really does create that kind of safety in numbers sort of aspect, which is nice.

Speaker 1: 19:56

I love that this is happening a lot on the West Coast and I see I get a lot of these people in my feed where they're like plus bus, they're having another chunky dunk or whatever they call it and they all go to the beach together and all over the West Coast. I see that happening all the time in Portland and Seattle and Nevada. Las Vegas has quite a few of them. Pool parties, and then we can't forget about the pool party in Shrill with Aidy Bryant. I know it wasn't the beach, but all those beautiful fatties in their bikinis and bathing suits dancing and frolicking. And we don't ever get to frolic, ma'am, we just don't.

Speaker 2: 20:29

I know, and I love that. You see that it was very clear in that article. There were a couple pictures and stuff where it's like, okay, this is exactly what we should be demonstrating to folks of, like, we're going to change the culture, then it has to be something where people feel safe to go out in a two piece and not be made fun of or, you know, be attacked or that sort of thing. And so I really I love the article, I loved how the photography, I just I was, I was so surprised. I was like, okay, I'm actually going to share an article from the Guardian, like, yeah, Would you share the actual title?

Speaker 1: 21:05

Do you have it with you, or do you have it nearby? Or we could put it in the show notes too. I mean, I have it, let me grab it while we're sitting here talking. I'm going to say you know, I don't know about you, but I find myself that I'm often the biggest person in the room or the biggest person at the event, unless I go to a VAT event, and it can be a little intimidating. I've gotten, I got my chops now, but it sucks. It can be overwhelming.

Speaker 2: 21:32

Absolutely. The article is called New York's Fat Beach Day. Gives Plus Size People a Space to Be Themselves.

Speaker 1: 21:41

Love it.

Speaker 2: 21:42

And it's from the Guardian. Yeah, so New York, new York's Fat Beach Day.

Speaker 1: 21:49

Yay, I love it. We need one in every state, please, please and thank you, and more than one day, right, or how about y'all just stop being mean to us, wouldn't?

Speaker 2: 21:59

that be ideal.

Speaker 1: 22:00

How about everybody just stops commenting on other people's body? You have no idea. I should tell you this longer story. But someone told me recently at the airport that I should stop eating so much and then call me a fat bitch. And she was a fat bitch too, which really pissed me off. But I was like I wanted to yell back to her You're like, you don't know why I'm fat. You know, and we don't really know why people are fat, you know, and people are fat for a million different reasons and, by the way, who fucking cares? But you know, she just decided to yell at me out of the blue and she was a fellow fat person who clearly had a lot of anti-fatness. You know, internalized. But just stop commenting on people's bodies, anything, I don't care, it's not our business to comment. It's weird when people comment on my body like ew, why are you looking at that? Why are you paying attention to that?

Speaker 2: 22:43

Can't we just be a society that gets to go out and experience different things and not everybody have to have some sort of comment or opinion about it?

Speaker 1: 22:52

Yeah, Well, thank you for bringing that to our attention. That article is really good. It's nice to see something that's more fat, positive from the Guardian.

Speaker 2: 22:59

Yeah, absolutely, speaking of different types of people and things being allowed, we have some hot topics, and when we asked our listener base, like what are some sexy topics that you want us to kind of go over, somebody brought up a really good topic with us and it was actually about the types of sexuality that are rarely discussed. So there are so many different labels for different types of sexuality and there's a huge list. We actually found a couple, so the one that I got some of this information from was Rainbow and Company, which is a UK blog. So they have a pretty solid list with good explanations and it shows the flag so that you can kind of like see the different types in different types of format. But there's also a sexuality Wikipedia, so you can go on there and learn more, even about you know specific types of things.

Speaker 2: 24:02

But the person who reached out to us was like, hey, you guys talk about sex and you know that's great and all, but there's some fatties out here and others that don't want any kind of sex or don't want anything without a certain type of element of romance or all these types of things. So we figured we'd go over like the top four that are talked about that really don't have sex as like the main component, like some sort of attraction or that sort of thing, just to give people some information. And if it's something you want to explore further, like I said, you could go check out that Rainbow and Company blog or the Sexuality Wikipedia, and that way you have, you know, more information on these topics. But I had always thought, oh, it's just they're asexual or they're demisexual, but there's others too. So let's kind of go, let's jump into them. And, crystal, if you have like experience or you know somebody, I would love to you know.

Speaker 2: 25:03

Have more info about that too? Sure, no problem. So the first is aroace, and so it's basically short for aromantic asexual, and basically what that means is that that individual experiences little to no romantic or sexual attraction, so they're not interested in the romance, they're not interested in the sexual attraction portion.

Speaker 1: 25:31

There's a lot of, are those? No, those are not the ace, those are their. What's that one called? This is the aro ace.

Speaker 2: 25:36

Aro ace, yeah, okay, yeah, I thought that kind of like always fit into asexual, but not realizing that asexual is different. So asexual is someone who does not experience sexual attraction. They may want to experience romance or they may have like aesthetic attraction to somebody, but it's not like sexual in nature. So I had always thought those two things were the same and they're not. So aero ace is like I don't have the sexual component or the romance component. The asexual is I don't really experience the sexual attraction but I may like the romance portion of it. I was like, okay, those are two very different things. I'm glad that I learned that these were very separate.

Speaker 1: 26:24

Humans are fascinating. There's always so much more to learn, I swear.

Speaker 2: 26:28

Well, and reading through some of these, like I was like I had no. Like it gets even more niche and granular, like into different types of gender and different types of actions of sexuality and gender, so like it'll include both of those things within that. So the ones that I was most familiar was asexual and demisexual, and so demisexual is someone who only experiences sexual attraction to someone that they have a romantic or a platonic relationship with, so they're not like sexually attracted. To say, like Ryan Reynolds, like I don't have a relationship as much as I'd love to have a relationship, right, so if I don't have that connection right, like then I'm not going to have this sexual attraction.

Speaker 2: 27:18

And I, on some levels, I feel like I have an element of that. Like I really have to feel like I need to have some sort of connection with a person before I'm like really sexually attracted to them. I mean I I think that you know like you can look at somebody and aesthetically be like damn, they look great. But at the same time, like I'm not in my head, I'm not like super charged sexually for them, unless I'm feeling like, oh, I'm getting these other elements of like connection through them right, sure?

Speaker 1: 27:50

um, megan the stallion oh, did I say that out loud? Um, anyway, she's been around the bay area recently. She's just so stinking hot. But so I do know a few people that are aces and they just are not really interested in either version or either any flavor of anything that has to do with romance or sex. Is that an ace?

Speaker 2: 28:14

Yes, yeah it's fascinating, it's both.

Speaker 1: 28:17

And I know for me personally. I have had that one night stand kind of thing before and I'm glad I had it, but I didn't find it that great. I like it a little more. First of all, the sex is so much better when you have a connection with somebody, and if you have the sex of the same person for a long time it gets better and better and better if you work at it. And some people just don't want to do that ever. I think they just find that disgusting. But, like I said, I'm glad I tried it.

Speaker 2: 28:43

Right, yeah, and I think some of these things that you may not really know until you've been in those experiences or like, gotten close to that and been like, this isn't hitting for me. You know, like, and all those things are okay. Yeah, it really the DemiSec one was like oh, okay, this makes sense, like we're getting more into like the personality and like the connection that you have with that person, um. But then I ran across one called lethal, lethal sexual, l I T H O sexual, and this refers to a person who, um may experience sexual attraction but does not want it reciprocated.

Speaker 1: 29:20

And.

Speaker 2: 29:21

Yeah, so like they mention in there, it's very much. There's a different name for it as well. It's I'm going to probably butcher it, but it's a kiyosexual and basically that was like before they had changed. They've kind of changed the name, but it's referring to the same thing. But basically they mentioned the aspect of like it may be someone who likes to go down on their partner but does not want anything in return. Like it turns them off to even think that their partner is sexually attracted to them. They just want to be the giver and that sort of scenario.

Speaker 1: 30:01

Wow, fascinating.

Speaker 2: 30:02

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 30:04

I like things to feel very fair. What does that make me? I think in the our first episode I did I identified as omnisexual and did you identify as pansexual? And yeah, there's yeah, I know.

Speaker 2: 30:15

And I was like, well, what, maybe I am more omnisexual. And then I was reading it. I was like, no, I really fit in that pan um aspect, because they were talking about how it goes into gender and like the fluidity of gender, and so it's really interesting. Like, as I was reading through all these different types and there were some that I was just like, okay, this is, this is talking about guy on guy, this is talking about girl on girl, this is talking about, you know, non-binary, like it wasn't. They get that specific. And so I had no idea. Like I mean, I knew there were lots, but I never knew that they were that specific. And I was just like, wow, I really I need to spend some time like sitting here and like going through these and really getting familiar with the different types, because it's just so fascinating.

Speaker 2: 31:01

And I love to hear, like the person who mentioned this on our page or on your page, I would love to know their experience with this. Like it makes sense, like there's lots of things that are fulfilling in life that you don't need to have sex to participate in or feel sexy, or you know, there's lots of things that bring fulfillment and joy that don't involve that. But I'd be very interested to just kind of know more about how that person kind of learned that about themselves and how they kind of figured out like, oh, this isn't really doing it for me, or I really realized I have to have you know, I have to be the one to give, not the one to receive, or it's just it was really. It was exciting and interesting. So I was glad that somebody asked that question.

Speaker 1: 31:50

Yeah, I'll go back to her post on my page and just tell her that we talked about it today and would she want to give us any feedback via email or leave us a voicemail on Big Sexy Home website? Or maybe she'd like to be interviewed sometime, even for, like my smaller, shorter version of our podcast called Big Sexy Chat Unplugged, maybe she'd like to come there, who knows? Yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:11

So, speaking of Big Sexy Chat Unplugged, let's give some updates.

Speaker 1: 32:15

Absolutely Sure. So I am taking a little splinter version of Big Sexy Chat it's called Big Sexy Chat, Unplugged and they're going to be basically, most of them, live interviews of people who are more involved in fat politics, fat liberation, the art, fat art, fat music, fat creators A little less on the sexy side and a little more on the I don't want to say unsexy side, but just more like things that have to do with everyday life and not to do with our sex life. Not that sex will. I'm sure sex will come up because I'm involved, but that's what happens when I'm around. But yeah, I'm really excited. So there'll be more lives. It'll be on Facebook and Instagram and then they'll live on YouTube and I'm really excited to try it out.

Speaker 1: 33:01

I did my first interview with my friend and artist, Kat Coulter, but she didn't want to do it. She was too afraid to do it live because she's been in a hideout since the pandemic and she wasn't ready. So I said, okay, let's just do it, We'll record it and we'll share it. It was really lovely half an hour interview. I'm going to try to keep them down to 20 minutes, but you know how it is. It gets hard to keep them short, but I know people don't want to watch a huge long video, more than 20 minutes on Facebook or Instagram most likely, but maybe on YouTube. But I'm excited it's going to be fun.

Speaker 2: 33:30

Yeah, no, I thought it was a fantastic interview and I'm looking forward to the list of people that you've shared thus far. I think there will be some folks in there that people will like oh, I didn't realize or I didn't know. So I think it'll be a good source of information of things outside of our niche.

Speaker 1: 33:51

Yeah, exactly, I think so too. It'll be a fun compliment to Big Sexy Chat. Of course, Big Sexy Chat's not going anywhere. We're just adding a little extra element to it. So I'm thrilled to get it started, and we have some fun interviews coming up and I can't wait to share them with everybody. We'll definitely put the live on Instagram and on Facebook so people can maybe catch them in their feed or go back and watch it in their feed later.

Speaker 2: 34:12

Yeah, and we're going to try to make Big Sexy Chat the format to really kind of have the sexy element.

Speaker 2: 34:21

You know we've had a lot of feedback and recognize that.

Speaker 2: 34:26

You know there's some topics that we really want to cover and really want to do like deep dives into sexuality and stuff, and sometimes when we interview people that's not really their jam but what they have is important and important to our culture and all those types of things too. So we've come up with some new sexy questions to ask people when we do bring them on for interviews, which is going to be fun, and then we have some really great topics just at hand. So I think you know there's going to be you're going to get the elements of a lot of sex talk and things that are in that realm, and then a lot of like the fat liberation talk and things that are in that realm, and then a lot of like the fat liberation um, just kind of like daily life stuff too. So, um, yeah, I'm looking forward to the format and, uh, I'm excited to see, like Ashley did, the um, the artwork for it and it looks fun and good, so I'm like all right, we're going, man, yeah, let's do this Exactly.

Speaker 2: 35:19

Yeah, so, um, another update I want to give you is um, we did in january all of the different types of sex toys that were given to us, from womanizer and um, we vibe. And, oh man, I have an update on the duo premium, too sweet remind me which one that is.

Speaker 1: 35:43

It has the G-spot, I mean, it has the suction on the clitoris and a little bit of penetration.

Speaker 2: 35:52

No, that's the one that. So the one I'm talking about is just the one with the dual motor on the clitoris Right, right, right Okay. So no insertion, but what I have? First of all, I'm now obsessed with this, right, right straight, yeah yeah. But I just turned 42 years old and I am squirting like crazy with this thing Right on. It's wild, like I have to like. We have the liberator sex blanket. You know that you can lay out.

Speaker 1: 36:40

What do they call it?

Speaker 2: 36:41

They call it the throw. I think sex throw the throw. Yeah, sex blanket. You know that you can lay out. What do they call it? They call it the throw. I think sex sir the throw. Yeah, so, because otherwise, like it's soaking through towels kind of thing, like it is, it's wild, like I and people. I have so many things that I'm like exploring and looking at.

Speaker 1: 36:56

Now, like you sound, you sound like so excited and like uh, what Twitter page.

Speaker 2: 37:01

Like wait, what Wait, whoa, whoa, yeah. So I have learned that I will squirt regardless. I will squirt regardless of if I've peed right beforehand.

Speaker 1: 37:12

Sure, me too.

Speaker 2: 37:13

I'll say that, like it's a mixture of like pee and other fluids, and so I'm like still even looking more into that, because that's all changed from time to time. You know, like who's saying, what it is and all that sort of thing. What's triggering it? Like I noticed that if I'm high and I'm doing it like it's a million times more than any other time, like so is it like a muscle? I have so many questions now, so I think we're going to have to do like a whole episode on sporting.

Speaker 1: 37:44

Yeah, there is a lot of controversy around it, I guess. Does it exist? Does it really happen? And I'm like y'all it exists.

Speaker 1: 37:51

Okay, don't trust the porn that you're watching, but like humans that are not porn actors, we ejaculate. It's true, I promise you it's definitely true. But it does come from the urethra, which, of course, is going even if your bladder is empty. It's going to mix with the urea in there, so it might sometimes have a little bit of a yellow tint to it or have the scent a little bit of urine, but it's not just pee, it's just not. And I've tried a thousand times. Let me try to empty my bladder. Make sure it doesn't matter if I'm full bladder or empty bladder. It happens and for me I like the I do prefer, like they call it, the come hither on my G-spot and if a little bit of something on my clitoris, maybe like your toy, and then some fingers from somebody else, not mine. I have too hard time reaching my G-spot, yeah, but it feels to me like a pressure on it and I like a little bit of tapping on it and I'm mixed with collateral stimulation.

Speaker 2: 38:50

Excellent yeah, man, that's the way I've always experienced it. But now, like having no insertion and like if I'm sitting, just kind of sitting up a little bit, rather than like just laying flat, it is wild and I'm like afterwards, like all of my muscles, like my pelvic muscles, just feel so, they feel so good, like I don't know if it's like you know some sort of mental thing, or if I'm like tensing and releasing those muscles, and so it feels different. It feels so different for me, which is wild. Murph, do you know much?

Speaker 1: 39:26

about the vagus nerve V-A-G-S I think. Have you ever had your ears massaged? No, when you have your ears massaged, a lot of vagus nerve stuff going on there your whole head and neck just feels so relaxed, kind of like how you describe your pelvis. It's the same energy release that gets all the tension out of my. My ears are like so tight. It sounds crazy, but when I touch my ears I'm like, and when I get the massage and like all loose and relax, same thing happens from a g-spot climax. It just takes all that tension out of that area. Which duh. If you're born with ovaries, we all carry a lot of tension in that area so nice to relieve it.

Speaker 1: 40:02

That's my theory anyway it.

Speaker 2: 40:04

It feels like it like I when it's like I just feel like a different person. So now it's like okay, I gotta have this every time, because this feels amazing, like congratulations it's a good yeah no premium too by womanizer. I love y'all, but you have to make a longer handle there's a?

Speaker 1: 40:24

there's a gentleman who keeps uh, emailing me. He makes handles for toys to make them longer. I should, um, I should forward that to you. Maybe we can have him like as in a blog article or something one time. It's really interesting. But yeah, they it makes. He's basically a device for people who have disabilities or, like me, who can't really reach my clitoris very well because of my larger lower tummy, and yeah, it connects all kinds of different toys and stuff, so that might work for you.

Speaker 1: 40:51

I like that Thank you, weevibe, and I do sell that one on my website, bliss Connection, and we have a code for 20% off, which is BSC, like Big Sexy Chat. 20% off, which is BSC, like big sexy chat. And I'm so thrilled for you, murph. That's so wonderful, because if there's just more orgasms in the world, there'd be so much less rage in the world. We just, we need a lot less rage in our world right now.

Speaker 2: 41:11

It's so true, like I, I feel such like not only just physically, like I just feel like so much nicer after you've come, like you're just like, yeah, okay's fun, everything, everything's gonna work out like it's all good.

Speaker 1: 41:27

I always say no more road rage. Keep a, keep a silver bullet in your glove compartment. You get stuck in traffic.

Speaker 1: 41:33

You'll be like, yes, traffic awesome I got this it's got to turn that you gotta just do the paradigm shift on the whole thing. So I was gonna tell you, unless you have anything more to say about female ejaculation. I was going to tell you a little bit about the event I went to this week, this past Thursday night. It was called Girls Uncorked and Girls Uncorked is like a almost like a division of Cassidy, which is a website for dating, but it's for dating for people who are a little kinkier in their dating life, maybe swingers or same room sex with other people or just kinky and kind of like into kinkier things. And one of my friends slash clients, said Crystal, I think you would love this group of women. They're all about our age and they're all talking all the time about sex and menopause. I was like, oh sure, I want to try it.

Speaker 1: 42:18

And I did something I haven't done since before the pandemic, which is I went to a party where I didn't know anybody. I was nervous for like 10 seconds before I walked back to the door, but then it went away really quickly because they were so warm and welcoming. I was the largest person in the room. I mean, it was a pool party, so I was a large person outside in their area, but, yeah, they were so lovely, even though I'm much larger than most everybody there. They didn't seem to even notice or care, which is cool, but I know kinky people are so much more open-minded than non-kinky people. They just, it's like because I guess they're living in a world that's a lot less socially acceptable, so maybe I don't know. I love it, though, and I had so much fun. I met all kinds of interesting women. One woman sells sex toys online and does home parties, and all of their partners seem to work in tech. The interesting thing is, we went around the room and we did an introduction, and so what's your name, what's your partner's name? Tell us about you, and they'll be like oh well, I'm a unicorn, meaning they like to hook up with other couples or I have sex with other people, but my husband does it. He likes to watch, or I'm a dom or I'm a sub. It was so fascinating. I was like, wow, and then how they met their partner and then what other parties they like to go to, and it was really good, and all I could think of is I need to start a fat girl chapter of Girls Uncorked. Wouldn't that be fun? I am here for it, yes, and we could have.

Speaker 1: 43:43

Like it doesn't mean because you come to my meeting or whatever this, whatever we call it, doesn't mean you're going to swing with other people. It just means you're open-minded, you want to talk about stuff that has to do with sex. Maybe you have conversations like we have here on our podcast and people everyone talking about menopause the other night, because, of course, everybody's over 40. Menopause all the things people are doing for menopause, like just adult topics, where you know maybe you want to ask something sexual that you wouldn't ask anywhere else. So it's working around.

Speaker 1: 44:09

I'm marinating in my brain about how to do it. I think that'd be so much fun and, yeah, another way to create community, right? If you know, everybody else is like-minded and that's all I had in common with these ladies is that I know that we're all like-minded. I'm not going to judge you. Whatever you're doing in your bedroom, as long as you leave kids and animals out of it, I don't fucking care. You do you? Everybody has consent, and that's what I had in common with these people. So immediately we had something in common, even though I was much, much larger than them, and I had a really good time.

Speaker 2: 44:38

Awesome. Yeah, when you sent me the little graphic you know kind of just explaining what it was, I was just like what? Like, oh, I think a fat girl, chapter of Girls Uncorked would be incredible.

Speaker 1: 44:54

Me too. It was a really good time. It was like a pool party. Everybody was like naked, half naked, not me. I didn't know it was a pool party, but I probably still would have been naked.

Speaker 2: 45:03

And you shared like they do it at people's homes instead of like in a public. Why is that? Because of the kink nature or I don't really know.

Speaker 1: 45:13

I think they're trying not to put financial pressure on people, because when I think about maybe doing something like that, I'm thinking of private rooms. I know that can be used for like networking events. I go to a lot of networking events and host a lot of networking events. This is kind of like networking, but with kinky people. Yeah, I'm like why can't I use one of those rooms? So, like I said, I'm still marinating on it, but yeah, it was really was really fun. And yeah, lots of naked people, all different body types, some people who are more, their breasts look higher and some women whose breasts looked lower and like mine. Lots of different body, hair, kinds of things going on. Some had lots, some had none. It was like this is so fucking amazing.

Speaker 2: 45:56

This is how the world should be. Yes, right, just accepted for who you are just show up, yeah.

Speaker 1: 46:02

So yeah, I'm giving myself a little pat on the back because I went and then my friend slash client was there. But you know, I drove myself there by myself and I went up the stairs by myself and then once I got through the door I was like okay, I'm fine, you know. And that right away they smiled at me like who's the new girl, you know. It's like ooh, it's been a while, that's fun. I love it. Yeah, it was fun.

Speaker 2: 46:23

And, like you said, it's good. You know it's the good exercise of getting out and about before pre-COVID. You know, like I'm in a new environment I don't know these people Like it's always feels good to kind of test that muscle every once in a while.

Speaker 1: 46:37

It was Okay, I still can do this, I can still do this, right? I told my boyfriend I was kind of charming. Actually, too, I felt charming. They had a lot of questions for me because of what I do the hair removal, you know, and that's the sex toys. And yeah, they had a lot of questions about that. When I go to other networking events that are more business related, it's so funny because I like to say I love SEO and SEX and SEO is search engine optimization, Sex is sex and you could see, when I go to these networking events, people's brains are like she said sex.

Speaker 1: 47:06

But it's cool because people remember me, because at this one, I was like yeah, I'm into SEO and well, yeah, just like all the rest of you sex, and it was very freeing. I didn't have to feel like I was being judged or anything like that. I was like, okay, one more freak.

Speaker 2: 47:20

Nice, I love it. That's great. Yeah, it was cool, so you're going to be out for a little bit.

Speaker 1: 47:27

Let's talk about that. Yes, I'm going to have sinus surgery and I wanted to bring it up for a couple of reasons. I'm going to be gone for a little while. I have to take probably a week or 10 days off of work maybe longer, maybe less and basically I'm having this called FESS, f-e-s-s, and I have a lot of issues with sinusitis. So that means my nose is always running and a lot of post nasal drip, you know, down my throat, which creates my cough, which might also exacerbate my asthma. So I really need this. I've needed it for five or 10 years and then putting it in alcohol. I'm going to finally do it.

Speaker 1: 47:58

And of course I was nervous that they were going to turn me down because I'm fat, because that happens a lot. So of course I had to start off by asking in my email or the dashboard at Kaiser hey, I'm fat, is this going to be okay? I just I worry about is getting all the way halfway there or three quarters away there, and they go oh, no, no, nevermind. So I learned two things. One is they mostly decide who to have surgery on by your BMI. And I said, oh, my BMI is way you know, it's probably over 40 or 50. I don't know, I don't even think the BMI is stupid, but I know that's how they do it. And I said, and the lady goes oh, okay, well, mine too. And I go yeah, I'm really fat, I go, but I need to have my sinus surgery. Is that going to keep me from having surgery? She goes oh, let's not use that word. I go oh, no, no, no, I'm cool with that word. I said, honestly, fat is just a neutral descriptor that describes my body and if we take the hate out of it and we take ownership of it, then when other people use it, it has no power over us.

Speaker 1: 48:56

She goes oh, my God, she goes. Well, I'm a BMI over 40 or 52. I go, well, hi, sister, nice to meet you. I go am I going to be worried? She goes. The only thing that's going to happen is that they'll definitely want to do your surgery in the hospital instead of the clinic, because they just want to be prepared in case something happens. But she goes.

Speaker 1: 49:20

We do these surgeries on fat people all the time. So I'm like okay, but I'm really really fat. She goes. So am I? I go, okay, so it was nice to like not be fat. Shame for a change. Things are getting a tiny bit better out there. You know, a tiny bit I do get tired of settling for breadcrumbs, but I'll take them when I can get them. But yeah, it sounds like I'm going to be able to have my surgery and it's not going to matter how much I wear, what my BMI is, just that I have to have it at a hospital. Yeah, I need it so bad, murph. Well, you know, you see me dealing with the coffee and hearing the podcast all the time.

Speaker 2: 49:41

Yeah Well, and that you've just been needing it for so long, and I know it's one of those things where it's like having to deal with the medical field in general.

Speaker 1: 49:50

It's just like.

Speaker 2: 49:50

I'm going to push this off, I'm going to push it out, and then it's to your detriment and it's like the fact that you even have to ask the question of like, can I get this surgery? Knowing full and well that everybody can get the surgery. It should not be a BMI thing and I'm just glad that you're finally able to get it and you didn't have to deal with the horrible shamey part of that.

Speaker 1: 50:14

Even with my hysterectomy. I was worried up until the moment the anesthesiologist came into my room because I've heard so many horror stories. My hysterectomy was more related to that little bit of cancer that I got, so I think that made them a little more flexible. But I was like shit, they could just tell me no at any moment. And then the anesthesiologist came in the room. She goes I keep fat people alive all the time that she goes. I keep fat people alive all the time. That's my job is to keep you alive. I do that for all kinds of different people. I was like okay, but I'm really, really fat. She goes yeah, she's done this before a few times. I go oh, okay, that's all I needed to hear. Thank you.

Speaker 2: 50:44

How many other people have you know been denied that sort of thing or had that sort of? Yeah, it's so rough While you're out, asherlee and I said we'd record an episode and I think we're going to have some time to bank some with you so that you know you'll have some unplugs before then too.

Speaker 2: 51:01

So I think we'll have a variety so that folks can, you know, jump in and kind of catch. You know, catch up maybe or have some other options for things while you're out. But I'm just glad that you're able to get it and that it's something that hopefully is going to be like life-changing for you.

Speaker 1: 51:19

It's supposed to be pretty painful for the first few days and then, like for about a week, you have to keep it packed. Like I said, it's a lot. So in my day job, you know, I'm leaning over people's faces. I do wear a mask all the time, but I'm sure it would be uncomfortable, like pressure. You you know and you're probably not going to fly anywhere for a couple months and all that kind of stuff. So, yeah, I'm excited to. I always love when you naturally get together. It's always really fun to listen to.

Speaker 2: 51:41

Yeah that'll be good. So, um, you mentioned youtube. I think we should talk about the, the fact that we need you all to subscribe. We need you to subscribe, whether that be you like to read, sign, sign up for the newsletter, subscribe for the newsletter, because then you're getting that content regularly. Maybe you like to see stuff. Subscribe to YouTube. Or you can watch us, have this podcast and talk and watch how we move around and what our gestures are and our nonverbals. I hope you all do right then and there, because you just saw a really, really fantastic response from Crystal.

Speaker 1: 52:15

I love the bird, I love the bird.

Speaker 2: 52:18

Or if, um, if you subscribe to things like Apple podcasts um, that's where I get mine. Some people do Spotify, but the whole point subscribe, because if you're subscribing, you're going to get notified when we put out a new episode. Um, so, like, we just last week released our Tigris episode and the first episode of Unplugged. So you know, I think you have some options there. So choose whichever platform you're most interested in and how you like to consume your media and subscribe. That's all we're asking. We're at BigSexyChat, on all the socials. You can email us at.

Speaker 1: 52:54

BigSexyChatPod at gmailcom. Bigsexy chat pod at gmailcom.

Speaker 2: 52:58

Big sexy chat pod at gmailcom we have but that one.

Speaker 1: 53:02

You know it's gmail. It'll always be there exactly it works.

Speaker 2: 53:05

It works well forever yeah and um, subscribe like, share, tell your friends. But really what we want you to do is subscribe so that you get that content regularly. But if you're following us on the socials, not only will you get notified about that content, but you'll all see the other fun stuff that we put up on there. But that's what we'd love for you to do is subscribe to our podcast in whatever way you like.

Speaker 1: 53:29

Doing that Well said Murph, is there anything else we need to talk about today? I think that's it. We're back, baby. We're back. See you later, alligator after a while.

Speaker 2: 53:39

Crocodile.