Ever grappled with the heartache of watching a loved one struggle with addiction? We have, and this is why we're bringing our personal and professional take on intervention training live to your ears. Together, Matt Brown and Sam Davis, we're peeling back the layers on intervention techniques and real stories from the front lines of addiction recovery. We've had families reach out to us in desperation, and through our Intervention On Call platform, we've witnessed the powerful transformations that occur when guidance meets readiness for change. Our upcoming episode doesn't just discuss intervention training in Portland, Oregon; it's a deep dive into the emotional and practical tools that help families navigate these turbulent waters.
We're also tackling the complex dynamics that addiction weaves into the fabric of a family and the profound impact of setting boundaries. It's a common misconception to believe that the addicted individual is the only one who needs to change. However, we've seen time and again that the ripple effect of setting boundaries can redefine relationships and foster a sense of control amidst chaos. Tune in for candid conversations and insights, from the parallels drawn between a military veteran's experiences with surrender to the unexpected shifts in family roles when recovery begins. Our stories are a testament to the fact that the journey to recovery is not a solo mission but a collective effort, where everyone's growth is paramount.
Join us Every Thursday Night at 8:00 EST/5:00PST for a FREE family support group. Register at the following Link to get the zoom information sent to you: Family Support Meeting
Or you can visit or tell someone about our sponsor(s):
Intervention on Call is on online platform that allows families and support systems to get immediate coaching and direction from a professional interventionist to do their own intervention. For families who either don't need or can't afford a professionally led intervention, we can help.
Therapy is a very important way to take care of your mental health. This can happen from the comfort of your own home or office. If you need therapy and want to get a discount on your first month of services please try Better Help.
Ever grappled with the heartache of watching a loved one struggle with addiction? We have, and this is why we're bringing our personal and professional take on intervention training live to your ears. Together, Matt Brown and Sam Davis, we're peeling back the layers on intervention techniques and real stories from the front lines of addiction recovery. We've had families reach out to us in desperation, and through our Intervention On Call platform, we've witnessed the powerful transformations that occur when guidance meets readiness for change. Our upcoming episode doesn't just discuss intervention training in Portland, Oregon; it's a deep dive into the emotional and practical tools that help families navigate these turbulent waters.
We're also tackling the complex dynamics that addiction weaves into the fabric of a family and the profound impact of setting boundaries. It's a common misconception to believe that the addicted individual is the only one who needs to change. However, we've seen time and again that the ripple effect of setting boundaries can redefine relationships and foster a sense of control amidst chaos. Tune in for candid conversations and insights, from the parallels drawn between a military veteran's experiences with surrender to the unexpected shifts in family roles when recovery begins. Our stories are a testament to the fact that the journey to recovery is not a solo mission but a collective effort, where everyone's growth is paramount.
Join us Every Thursday Night at 8:00 EST/5:00PST for a FREE family support group. Register at the following Link to get the zoom information sent to you: Family Support Meeting
Or you can visit or tell someone about our sponsor(s):
Intervention on Call is on online platform that allows families and support systems to get immediate coaching and direction from a professional interventionist to do their own intervention. For families who either don't need or can't afford a professionally led intervention, we can help.
Therapy is a very important way to take care of your mental health. This can happen from the comfort of your own home or office. If you need therapy and want to get a discount on your first month of services please try Better Help.
Follow the hosts on TikTok Matt: @mattbrowninterventionist Sam: @the.interventionist.sd
If you have a question that we can answer on the show, please email us at questions@partywreckers.com
Speaker 1:
Let me hit that again.
Speaker 2:
Welcome to the Party Wreckers podcast, hosted by professional interventionists Matt Brown and Sam Davis. This is a podcast for families or individuals with loved ones who are struggling with addiction or alcoholism and are reluctant to get the help that they need. We hope to educate and entertain you while removing the fear from the conversation. Stay with us and we'll get you through it. Please welcome the Party Wreckers, matt Brown and Sam Davis.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to another episode of the Party Wreckers. My name is Matt Brown and I'm here, as always, with my host, sam Davis. Sam, how you doing.
Speaker 3:
We're doing all right in spite of ourselves today.
Speaker 1:
Well, we're going to keep it short and sweet today. We tried something new today and we'll see how it goes, but we put out on social media that, for those that want to listen live, we have an audience function here on the platform that we use to record our podcast, and so we put it out on social media just a couple of hours ago. I don't know if we're going to get anybody to tune in, but it's a way for us to have an audience. It's a way for us to get a little bit of interaction in those moments that we want to field some questions or help people live on the podcast. So, if you're interested in future episodes, if you didn't see that on social media today, stay close to us on social media Facebook, instagram, tiktok and you'll see announcements for future episodes where you can listen in live, watch live.
Speaker 1:
Before we launch into this, let me just mention the training that we have coming up here. Sam, you and I are going to be in Portland, oregon, april 27th and 28th at Cielo Treatment Center and we're going to be doing our first training of 2024. We got a few registered so far. Looking for we got a few spots that can still be filled up and hope we get a few more people coming to Portland to train with us.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, it's always a good time training people. You know I enjoy doing it with you. We seem to do well together. It's a lot of good information. We haven't had not one negative review. Great feedback. People that are looking to get into the real live fire trenches or working with families and battling this illness it's a good place. Or, if you're already working behavioral health, I'm going to sharpen your skill set and it's just a cool place to be and hang out with us a couple of days. Get some information. It's always a good time.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and I think it's worth mentioning. You said something about it, but you don't have to want to be an interventionist, you don't have to want to get certified. We certainly will see everybody who takes the training through their certification process if that's what they want. But a lot, like you said, a lot of people already working in treatment who work with families. It's just an opportunity to sharpen those skill sets and work better with families in crisis. Do you want to mention intervention on call? Before we jump into this today for our topic?
Speaker 3:
Yeah, yeah, you know Intervention On Call. We have a family support group every Thursday night, 8 pm Eastern Time. That as well is always a good time Good families, good feedback, good conversation. It's absolutely free. You got to go to Intervention On Call and register for the link. That's every Thursday night, 8 pm Eastern time. It's a Zoom link.
Speaker 3:
You can show your face. You don't have to show your face. You can be as engaged or non-engaged as you wish to be, and that's attached, like I said, to Intervention On Call, which is a platform that has several intervention providers Matt and myself are two of those and families that just need strategy, that need guidance, that need some direction, that need an understanding. It can be one family member, it can be 20 family members on one session, it matters not. It's a nominal fee $150 for an hour session. I'm not there to sell you an intervention. Hopefully we can get you moving without having to bring an interventionist out. That's the goal anyway, but it works. It works. It's simple.
Speaker 1:
Speaking of that, I just got a text message this morning from a family that I've had a couple of sessions with. I had a session with them last week. We talked a little bit about intervening on their 16-year-old son. They had a treatment center set up here in Oregon, talk them through the intervention process and how to get their message prepped. And then yesterday had another session with them just to kind of go over the letters that they were going to write. And then the text message came through this morning that he agreed to get help and they're taking him to treatment as we speak.
Speaker 3:
And uh, isn't that great. I mean, it works.
Speaker 3:
Yeah it absolutely works and it cost him what 300 bucks Yep To bring an interventionist out, to bring one of us out and I'm not trying to cut my nose off here, but I mean you're talking several thousand dollars to have an interventionist actually take a case, travel, come out and do the whole full-blown deal and look, nothing takes the place of that full-blown intervention.
Speaker 3:
There's some magic that happens in the room and I had a case similar to yours that except they ended up after that second call right there. They wanted me to come out and just sit through it. It was local, it was two hours away from me. They just wanted me to come out and sit through it and facilitate it, not transport him to treatment. And the magic of intervention on call is that it allows us to gather information, meet other family members, really see what the team looks like, and then we can maneuver from there. Whether we found a family member which I call the team members that can transport or they need us to transport, it gives me a lot of room to work. Yeah, and I was able to go out and sit through that with them.
Speaker 1:
Well, in yesterday's session, not only did we go over the letters that they had written, but I was able to talk specifically to the man who was going to be leading the intervention, kind of coach him on how to run point and maintain some control over the flow of communication and conversation and what to do in certain situations should the person want to get up and leave or should the individual have certain objections. We were able to talk specifically to him as the leader on how to handle that without the situation kind of devolving into I don't want to say chaos, but just some disorganization if certain questions got asked or if certain scenarios came up. And so it was really just not only the message, but just really giving them some confidence around how to structure the experience so that the outcome could be as good as it turned out to be in this case, which is great.
Speaker 3:
Now, how'd you determine who the leader was going to be?
Speaker 1:
I relied pretty heavily on the mom and the dad. They were not going to be the leaders. They felt like they were not going to be the right people to be the spokesperson for the group, and so as we talked, they suggested an individual, and I felt good about that, and so I was able to focus a lot of that attention on that part of his duties towards him specifically.
Speaker 3:
What was that dynamic like? I mean, what relation was he to the family? Was he just a family?
Speaker 1:
friend. He was an in-law Family member. He was an in-law who had a little bit of a past and this young man knew about his past, so it also kind of gave him some street cred, I guess is another way of saying it. Like you know, this is a guy who's been where I've been to some degree, and so he was able to speak from a place of experience and authority, as well as not be not to have his buttons, his emotional buttons, pressed during the experiences, as mom and dad might have.
Speaker 3:
And that's the main thing, someone who can keep their cool, someone who is not going to get pulled down. The rabbit hole of debate and I'm always with families is look when they're going to try not try it, because try. What does Yoda say? Either do or do not. You don't try. I don't like that word, try, but times use it. In spite of that is don't be afraid to abort the mission if it starts going south, like bail out, like back away, regroup.
Speaker 3:
We'll address this another way. Maybe you do have to have someone come out, but I usually don't recommend that some people do it on their own unless I feel confident, like hey, we've got a family here that can follow directions and they've really honed in on what exactly needs to happen. They've been beat down, they're done, they've done some of their own work, they're following directions, they're asking questions and sometimes and I know you do as well, because we were just talking about this on the phone earlier today I get these families. There's a type of family that will call and I just I can't move them, I can't. I can't get them out of the crisis, I can't deescalate them, I can't. They ask a question and follow up with 15 answers, like you were saying, and they just can't get out of the way.
Speaker 3:
It's sad because it's frustrating as well, because, like I pride myself in my ability to talk a family through a situation. That's what we do, yeah, but there are just some that are so far into the crisis and they call. Usually it's they call when when their loved one is is actively creating chaos in the moment or within the last 12 hours and they want you to just drop and come up there immediately and do their work for them and to even get into what is addiction. What is causing the addiction? What is that? There's emotional health at play here, and addiction is the result or the education. You can't even get into it Cause they're like no no, no, no, no.
Speaker 3:
We need you to come up here. This needs a, you know.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and, and this, this kind of phenomena of overthinking things, you know there's there's been a lot of families and you know, especially recently there's been a couple that come to mind, where you there's so many questions that you can tell that this family's thought process is just spinning. They can't stop questioning every little detail. Because I guess this is just my opinion, but I think that there's this intense need to control, this intense need to be able to force the outcome to be what they hope it will be, that they want to plan for every possible scenario. And I mean, first of all, that's impossible, you can't do that. And to try to control something I mean that's kind of what got this family, and particularly the individual that's in crisis, to this situation in the first place is that need to control. You know, we, we, we want to tell ourselves that we're in control of something, whether it's an addiction or whether it's codependency to somebody who's in addiction, that we have this illusion of control, that somehow we're going to force the outcome to be what we want it to be.
Speaker 1:
And and you know, this one family, that that I worked with recently I mean they were recently at a family experience at a treatment center and the treatment center actually was considering discharging the client because this family kind of hijacked the process in certain moments where it was very clear that they didn't trust the treatment center.
Speaker 1:
They didn't trust the choice that they had made to put their loved one in this particular treatment center.
Speaker 1:
And it got to a point, luckily, they were able to kind of walk back from that and realize like, okay, you know, we're creating a problem here, we're part of the crisis, and and they were able to kind of see some things that they hadn't been able to see up to that point.
Speaker 1:
Luckily, the the, the team running the family program, was just amazing and kind of helped very gently help them through that. But for a moment there they were considering not having this family or this individual be a part of their program anymore, simply because there was no way, because of the just the rampant overthinking that was going on. And you know, a lot of times it's because there's somebody with a very high level of intelligence and it's like, well, I'm smart, so I can think my way through this. And it's like, well, I'm smart, so I can think my way through this and it's tough, it's real tough sometimes to get a family to get out of the story, like you were saying, and get into a mode where they're willing to follow a plan to come to a solution.
Speaker 3:
That's what beats the addicted individual over the head too is because we're highly intelligent people. Mainly, we've done some dumb things, but addicted individuals are highly intelligent people and they feel like they can think their way through this and it keeps stumping them. They can't figure out. Why do I keep going? Why do I make these insane decisions?
Speaker 3:
Families that are very accomplished, very highly intelligent, gifted, talented, successful families that have thought their way through life and have done well and have reaped the rewards of thinking well and following up with actions on those thoughts and their thinking around this with their loved one just keeps punching them in the face every single time and it just baffles the hell out of them. It just does, and I get it. I baffles the hell out of them, it just does, and I get it. You know, I understand it. I feel for him.
Speaker 3:
You know I got off the phone with his family. They didn't, they didn't proceed with an intervention. Then they called the next day and said you know what? We're not ready, we're not ready, and so you know I gave him some suggestions on what they can do to get ready is just get some education, come to the table with some, with some family support groups in your area or virtually just be willing to listen and follow some directions in the moments when I look at the times that I've been overthinking, because I'm certainly guilty of this, like any other human being.
Speaker 1:
You know, it's been out of fear, it's been out of how do I, how do I solve this problem? And and I want to solve it Instead of reaching out and asking for help. You know, like a lot of people, my tendency is to go inward and say okay, how do I fix this myself?
Speaker 3:
And and that's a habit that's been really hard for me to break and to really admit to other people Like I don't know how to do this, I don't know how to fix this. I could really use some help right now herself that she had done a lot of research, had been involved in family groups, and she came to the table, came to the phone call with this is my son. This is what he's been doing. This is how long it's been going on. These are the actions that we have taken through the years to do something about it that haven't been effective In the past.
Speaker 3:
I have been the absolute chief enabler. I recognize that I've changed some behaviors. We have a huge family that every single one of them are willing 100% to be engaged in some change. Right now he's being enabled by another family member but they recognize that and are willing 100% to do some things that would be effective. But we don't know what those things are. What do we do? And she was very clear once we got off the phone of what to do and was very willing to go do it.
Speaker 1:
Those families are so nice to work with because they've told us.
Speaker 3:
I told her. I said you know, look your battle's half over. Like you know, I hope you'll be rejoicing because I mean, I know that your loved one isn't in. You know getting well yet. I said but believe it or not, you're already halfway through the battle because you already have the team assembled, you have the willingness in the team to follow directions and do some things differently. And you come to the table understanding that nothing that's happened up until this point has been effective and you're seeking some guidance to do something different. I said that is most of the battle of an intervention is forming the team and getting everyone willing and able to follow some directions. And I know I sound like I'm, you know, chastising families, but I'm not. It's just the facts that I'm seeing out here and the things that I do.
Speaker 1:
In the last episode we talked about the guy that I heard at my first speaker meeting, the guy that I thought that I was not going to have anything in common with, who ended up having a profound impact on me and the one thing that I remember from what he said when he talked about his time in combat in Vietnam. He talked about the process of surrender and he said, when I was on the battlefield, we would engage with the enemy and there was an exchange of gunfire. We were trying to kill each other and when the enemy wanted to surrender, there was a very specific process that we required them to go through in order for them not to die. The first thing that we told them to do was throw down their weapons and get down on their knees, put their hands in the air and wait for us to tell them what to do. And he said my addiction requires the same thing of me. He said, if I don't throw down my weapons, get down on my knees, put my hands in the air and wait for somebody to tell me what to do, I'm probably going to die.
Speaker 1:
And I think for families it may not necessarily be a life or death situation for them, but I think that that moment of surrender is just as powerful for a family, where they can just say what I'm doing isn't working and I need someone to tell me what to do. And so when you have a family, that's come to a conversation like the one you just described, where there's a degree of surrender, and sometimes a significant degree of surrender it's like I don't know what to do. But I'd love for you to tell me. You go into a meeting and you hear somebody say I'm done, I don't know what to do and I need a sponsor and I need to work the steps and whatever you guys tell me to do, I'm going to do. That's a guy that's got a really good chance of getting a good start in recovery and as long as he maintains that humility, he's probably going to stay sober. Same thing with the families.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, the ones that I see come in like that the guys that slide in the rooms, the girls that slide in the rooms, and they do that they generally get well.
Speaker 1:
It's maintaining that humility. Sometimes that's the hard part, but again, that's really not what we're talking about here. It's that when we overthink things, there's this, this delusion that I'm hanging on to that maybe I'm going to come up with the solution, maybe I'm going to think my way out of this, instead of really relenting and saying I don't know what I'm doing. Can you tell me? It seems like you got this figured out. Why don't you tell me what to do?
Speaker 3:
I think a key ingredient that they miss and I can completely understand this is that they don't maintain the understanding that their loved one is currently insane, like literally insane. Like no jokes, no exaggeration, no misuse of the word. Their addicted loved one is literally insane at that moment, even when they're not under the influence. They are insane because they make the decision to go get more in a stone, cold, sober state of mind Craziest thing they do. So they don't really understand that they're trying to reason with an insane person and you just can't do that. You just can't do that.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, this family that couldn't get out of their way was like they couldn't wrap their head around the idea that the change had to start with them, around the idea that the change had to start with them. They couldn't wrap their head around because they were dealing with a highly accomplished son before addiction took its toll and really escalated or progressed. They could not and I get it because you're used to seeing your loved one before the train comes off the tracks. Man, a lot of people that I work with that are paying highly successful careers. They've created businesses, talented musicians, artists, very capable people in other areas of their lives and families can't wrap their head around the fact that right now they're insane.
Speaker 1:
And I don't remember if it was on a Thursday night family call or another call or session that I was doing with the family, but I remember very specifically there was an individual within a family where I was telling them this is what you're going to need to do to really establish some consistency and some boundaries in your relationship. And the response that I got was why do I have to change? They're the one with the problem. And the response that I had to give this person is if that's the way you're going to look at this, you're given every bit of control over your future happiness and your present happiness to something that's completely out of your control.
Speaker 3:
And what they can't understand at that time when they say, why do I have to change? They can't understand, based on where they are, that the change that they will make, or that they should make, could make, would make, need to make, will benefit them not only in this area of their life, with their addicted loved one, but with every relationship that they have Like. This change isn't just specific for addiction and for this situation. It's to live your life by to interact with people, boundaries, you know, understanding, lowered expectations, resentment. It's the change that is made benefits them in every area of their life.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, and that's the thing about boundaries is, if I have healthy boundaries, I don't have to worry about trying to control somebody else.
Speaker 1:
I mean, that's one of the key things that I had to learn about myself as I've gone through a lot of the work, both in therapy and in ACA, and some of the work that I've been doing with my own trauma is that I was a very controlling and still can be a very controlling person, and that has everything to do with a lack of boundaries.
Speaker 1:
When I don't have boundaries, I usually am engaged in some sort of behavior that's either trying to get something from someone else by manipulating them to do things the way that I want them to, or to try to prevent them or control them from doing something that I don't want, Instead of just setting a boundary and saying, okay, that's my line, whatever side of that line you want to be on, you, let me know. And when I do that, it frees me in so many different ways and I don't have to think about what somebody else is doing or how they're going to impact my life. The boundary's there. You're welcome to be a part of my life. Just respect that boundary, and there's so much freedom that can come from that.
Speaker 3:
Here's a plot twist too. Is that if someone's loved one goes and gets well, like wellness for an addicted individual looks like boundaries too from them, and if you're not doing your own work and your loved one goes and gets well, it really latches on. They're going to start establishing some boundaries with you, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:
I mean, they're going to do that anyways, yeah.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, I've seen that disrupt some family systems, mine included, you know, like they expect you to go off and get well and come back, and they've. They've really, sometimes unknowingly, made an idea in their head about how you're going to show up once you get well and come back into the home life. And you come back a little bit different arm with some boundaries, that throws them for a curveball, you know, or throws them for a loop, you know. So, hey, you can either change now and help, you know, make it easier for your loved one to to want to get well, or you can change later.
Speaker 1:
We started out talking about overthinking things and trying to control things, talking about overthinking things and trying to control things, and here we are talking about boundaries, which is really, at the end of the day, as interventionists, this is what we help families do is really create a structure in their relationships, in their home, that disrupts the destructive properties of addiction, the destructive influence of addiction in those relationships. And I think, just as I kind of go back and retrace our steps through this conversation, that's spot on. I overthink things because I'm trying to control things and I try to control things because I don't have boundaries.
Speaker 3:
It's like a highway with no jersey wall trying to control an out-of-control car. It doesn't work. You're the jersey wall. Those of you that don't know what a jersey?
Speaker 1:
wall is. I was going to say I have no idea what you're talking about when you say jersey wall.
Speaker 3:
It's the concrete, it's the border, you see, on the highways and the medians of interstates, and all it's to keep one from veering off and hitting people head on in the other lane of traffic.
Speaker 1:
Okay, so for those of us out west.
Speaker 3:
We call those guardrails. Well, no, there's a guardrail, that's the guardrail, but the jersey wall is a concrete.
Speaker 1:
Oh, okay.
Speaker 3:
Okay, you know I got you. You got an out-of-control car going crazy, spinning out. It needs a boundary. All right, the jersey wall is a boundary. It crashes into the boundary and bounces off and doesn't go into the lane and hit someone head on and destroy someone else's life. We operate, we live on boundaries everywhere we go. I got down here to the river house through boundaries. The side of the highway is the boundary Speed limit, the boundary.
Speaker 1:
If I want to go move my fence and put it six feet on the other side of the property line into my neighbor's yard, I'm probably going to get a little bit of pushback from my neighbor.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, most definitely, most definitely. Yeah, the land I lease out of town it's got a huge lake on it and my boundary is around that. 400 acres is my boundary. If you want into that, you need to ask. And if you do something that's not, you know, good for the land or what we'd agreed upon or what I'm willing to allow on that, then you got to go Like sorry, and it doesn't mean I have to get into a big argument with you. Got to go Sorry and it doesn't mean I have to get into a big argument with you. I'm not going to. I don't have to try and force someone to follow the rules. It's just like, hey, here's the boundary To be here, this is what's asked of you, this is what is expected of you, and if you can't do that, then you won't be here. Simple, simple as that, simple. And if they push back on it, it's more reason why the boundary need to be in place to start with.
Speaker 1:
Absolutely, and that's the other thing is there's a consequence attached to that boundary specifically that you're talking about and any boundary that's going to matter. If I don't attach a consequence to that good or bad, it really doesn't mean anything. Attach a consequence to that good or bad, it really doesn't mean anything. It's kind of going back to I was able to move boundaries in my family because the message was if you do this again, there's going to be consequences. And the threat of consequence is not a consequence. The threat of consequence is we'll give you a pass this time, but do it again and there's going to be a consequence.
Speaker 1:
Well, I don't have to experience anything now, I don't have to change anything now, and so I never did until they stepped out of the way and then life had to give me some consequences, because life is going to naturally provide us with some consequences, whether it's through law enforcement, whether it's legal, whether it's medical, whether it's relational. You know most people out in the world, they're not going to put up with my nonsense. So I've got to show up correctly for them If I'm going to be employed, if I'm going to operate in society like nobody cares who I am or what I've done or what I haven't done. They there are certain expectations of me that life just naturally demands.
Speaker 3:
Yes, indeed, Indeed. I learned that the hard way through my life many times.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, I think we all have to. I don't think there's a person that comes out of this without a few bumps and bruises and scrapes. But I guess, as a dad, I hope that I can give my kids an opportunity to learn from my mistakes. But I see them sometimes doing the exact same things that I did and it's like okay, bud, here we go, you're in for it. You know, if that's how you got to learn, that's how you got to learn. I say bud, because it's usually my son.
Speaker 3:
I was just going to say, and I told my other, not tonight, no night before last, night before last, but he was trying to feed me some BS. I said, sir, listen, you have to first realize that what you're doing here is you're trying to BS the king of BS. I said I have been where you are, I've done what you're doing, I have experienced what you want to experience and you are feeding me a line and I have fed the line.
Speaker 2:
I've fed it before.
Speaker 3:
Just stop. It's not working for you, it's not. He's going to have to have an experience, though, sitting around drugs or alcohol or anything like that, just around him doing teenage stuff with his truck. And I was thinking last night what know the wisdom? What is wisdom Like? What is the wisdom I think the wisdom is? The wisdom is not. The lack doesn't mean that my mind is never going to tell me stupid things again. Ideas is that I'm not going to react, I'm not going to act on it immediately, I'm not going to latch on to it and think that's a great idea and run with it. It means that I'm going to pause. Wisdom to me is a lot of lived experience, so there's not as many crazy ideas and crazy thoughts. But when the thoughts come, it's the ability to pause and step back and look at my past experiences and relate that to this idea and say, okay, where do I go from here? It's the slowing down a little bit.
Speaker 1:
You know, and I think to bring this full circle, I mean, that's a great, great way to kind of bring this back to that original thought of just kind of overthinking things. Because that's that's my biggest barrier when I'm overthinking something is I just can't slow down, I can't stop thinking, I can't stop this brain of mine from running at a hundred miles an hour and, you know, hoping that at some point I'm going to, I'm going to run into the to the solution, instead of just stopping and slowing down and saying, okay, you know, maybe it's time for a different perspective, or maybe it's time for a break. It's hard to do, it's hard to do for sure and and I hope that you know, families listening to this might get something out of that because you know, when you look at it, wisdom and knowledge are very, very different. You know, knowledge is something that I've learned. Wisdom is usually something that I've experienced very different, you know knowledge is something that I've learned.
Speaker 3:
Wisdom is usually something that I've experienced. Yes, yes, matt, it's been a wonderful time.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, yeah, I appreciate it, sam, and and uh, we've actually had somebody in the audience today. So, whoever you are, thanks for being here and thanks for eavesdropping in on us. And uh, for those that want to listen in in the future and participate in the recording sessions that we'll have, feel free to follow us on social media and if you have questions, drop them in the chat or we can bring you on here live and we'll try to help you live on the podcast here. We had, we did, we did, we've had one person with us. So they've been with us for about 20, 25 minutes now. So thank you for being here and, yeah, hopefully you'll come back next time. You see the invitation on social media.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, appreciate it. If I'd have known I would have done a different camera angle, not showing like the underside of my neck I'm now. I'm a little self-conscious.
Speaker 1:
I had somebody peeping in on us for 25 minutes. That's why I didn't mention it.
Speaker 3:
I didn't want you to get self-conscious? All right, buddy, all right.
Speaker 2:
See you next time. Thanks again for listening to the party records. If you liked what you heard, please leave us a rating and a review. This helps us get the word out to more people, to learn more or to ask us a question we can answer in a future episode. Please visit us at PartyWreckerscom and remember don't enable addiction ever. On behalf of the Party Wreckers, matt Brown and Sam Davis. Let's talk again soon.