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Ep 44 - Breast Cancer Awareness - Kym Foust Shares Her Journey

• Kym Foust • Season 2 • Episode 44

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💜In this episode we are talking about breast cancer and breast cancer awareness. Starting in  October of 2020 #SoooBoca began a collaboration with West Boca Medical Center | The Breast Center. 

This month, I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing Kym Foust, who is currently in remission.   A mom and teacher in Parkland, she was diagnosed with breast cancer in the fall of 2019 and had treatment at West Boca Medical Center.  Kym shares her journey with us today in regard to having chemo, surgery, radiation, a year of preventative “light” chemo and long term medication.

We chat about: 

  • Cancer ghosting 
  • How  you can help someone going through this,  emotionally and practically, during the holidays and beyond 
  • What continued limitations linger after the harder treatment is done and how to be there for someone
  • What’s helpful to say and what not to say to someone going through or post treatment
  • Gift suggestions beyond the list that every internet site offers

Join me for this episode to learn more from Kym. 

🐝Michele Bellisari #SoooBoca Lifestyle

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Speaker 1:

Hey everyone. It's Michelle Baldessari, your host of civil good stories in conjunction with so boca.com and at sobaka on Instagram. So glad you're here today. This podcast is all about Boca Raton and being local. I love interviewing local business owners, folks that are involved with the nonprofits, things that are happening around town, places to go and things to see. So I'm so happy you're here today. I hope you enjoy this week's episode and if you're so inclined, please make sure to subscribe to the podcast. I so appreciate it. And if you would like to be interviewed for the show, just reach out to me. Everything is in the show notes. Have a great day. Hey everyone, it's Michelle, Bella, sorry with hashtags. So focus stories. And today we're going to be talking about something that needs to be done throughout the year. Not just in October, we're going to be talking a little bit more about breast cancer awareness. And I have a guest today. Kim Faust is a mom and teacher Parkland, and she's going to kindly share what her journey has been going through breast cancer, her treatment. And we have some helpful tips today that we think might help you, especially as we're getting ready to go through this holiday season. Um, I am doing a collaboration with West Boca medical center of the breast center, and Kim had her, um, uh, treatments and surgeries through a Westbrook medical center. So it was proposed that we could chat today about this. So welcome, welcome Kim to the show. Thank you for having me. So tell everybody a little bit about yourself and then if you'd like to just go into giving us a little bit of background about what you've been going through. Sure. Um, I'm a mom and I've been a preschool teacher for just a little over 20 years. Um, and in August of 2019, I found a lump during a self exam and I wasn't super good at doing them diligently, but I had just had, I just got checked out the previous January, got an all clear, but something just wasn't right. And I had previously had CIS, but this one felt much different and it just had kind of a gut feeling that things weren't right. So, um, West Boca medical center hooked me up with a mammogram and an ultrasound. And right then and there, before I even left, they came in and said, it looks suspicious. We need you to come in for a biopsy tomorrow morning. So there was no waiting. There was no delay. I went in for a biopsy and two days later, um, I got the call that it was indeed cancer. And at that point, that's all they tell you. It's just it's cancer. And you have an appointment Monday morning and we'll talk to you more in depth. So I met

Speaker 2:

With my surgeon, um, dr. Dudeck from West Boca on the following Monday. And she proceeded to introduce me to the whole team. And there's a lot of anxiety with what's going to happen. You know, the mortality questions come up, but the minute you sit down with your team and they tell you, this is how we're going to attack this. Everything starts to fall into place and you feel better. And it sounds weird to hear that when you find out you're going to have chemo and radiation and surgery, and then another year of chemo and then meds for 10 years, that it's calming. But it honestly is once you have a game plan and the ball starts rolling, you feel a lot more calm. Cause you feel like you're doing something proactive. So that's everything we did. And right now I'm in the, the final stages of the year of proactive chemo. And I'll have that until April.

Speaker 1:

Okay. So I'm so happy to hear that you had this amazing team that took care of you and that it sounds like you're on the mend on the right path. Yes I am. Yeah. Oh, that's such good news. Yeah. And um, I think it's important for anyone listening to this, to know that you can have a team of people that will inform and educate you and help with that anxiety because let's face it. It's, it's, it's stressful and scary. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's terrifying. They, they not only have I had an oncologist and a radiologist and a surgeon, but I also had a nutritionist and a psychologist and their oncology specialized. So they took care of me from head to toe, mentally, physically. I never felt like I was alone. I always have somebody on call, no matter what stage of the game it is. If it's a weekend, if it's a night, if a side effect popped up and they prepped me really well at West Volkow,

Speaker 1:

That's fantastic. And you bring in something really important. They prepped you really?

Speaker 2:

Yes. Nothing was a shock. They sit you down in a nice little room with couches and they tell you, okay, chemo is about to start. Here's what could happen. Here's what's likely to happen. Here's the slight chance that these side effects could happen. And here's what you're going to have on your bathroom counter to handle all of it. And you're going to call me if it gets to this stage and it doesn't matter if it's 3:00 AM, you're going to call the office. If a fever of this high happens and nothing was a surprise. I felt so well prepared for all of it. And that was

Speaker 1:

Huge. Yeah. That is huge because I would think that would be for anyone, a huge concern of the not knowing and then the what ifs. And I know just in general with any potential medical issue, when you have a better handle on all of those, you go into whatever it might be. Surgery, treatment, whatever, with I think a clearer head.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely. Yeah. I I'd have some side effects right now from radiation that I had in the summer. I'm developing some, um, fibrosis and some lymphedema, but I knew that it, I had a 50 50 shot of it happening a couple months after radiation. So when it did pop up, I knew what the signs were and I called them and were already treating it early and it wasn't a shock.

Speaker 1:

That's great. Well, that's good. That's awesome. Well, one of the things that you and I were talking about before we jumped on here to do this interview was what's happening over the holidays and how, you know, how we can share some tips from you in regard to a few different things as to like in all honesty, let's just said, how can family and friends be helpful and caring? What should they say and not say, um, what kind of gifts would you get someone who's in treatment going through treatment. Post-treatment things that are going to be helpful to that person. And, and let's also bring up the fact that ghosting happens frequently. We chatted a little bit about that. So I'm going to start off with, um, one of the things that you mentioned was how to help someone emotionally, practically during the holidays, right?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, sure. Um, a lot of us, myself included were type a control freaks, and the fact that we can't do everything by ourselves anymore is super frustrating. So you can volunteer to help and make it specific. Don't leave it. Open-ended like call me if you need me, because they won't call you volunteer to help. If you know, they need presence wrapped or, you know, need shopping, done, ask what traditions they like to prioritize and help make that happen. Specifically. I want to go do the drive through lights, but I know I can't drive at night anymore because chemo is kind of sapping my eyesight. So that's something I'll be outsourcing to a family member. Um, I can't move as fast as I used to when I started putting up decorations and it's taking me three times as long because I have some like joint mobility issues from chemo and it's super frustrating. So let them know that you're here to help, even if they're too stubborn to ask and also just cut them some Slack because we have last-minute appointments that gets thrown at us. Or sometimes we just have an ambush bad day that we weren't expecting. Let's let them know that that's okay. Let them know that their continued limitations even after treatment. Cause sometimes it goes even longer that it's okay. And if they're not a disappointment, if they have to cancel something or cut out early.

Speaker 1:

Got it. Okay. That's awesome. I think that's going to help a lot of people out because sometimes it's just a matter of, you don't know as the patient, as the person going through all this, really how to say this to someone and you just laid it out beautifully for someone to just copy and paste. Basically. Here's where I'm at. First of all, I freaking hate putting up decorations anyways. So for me I'm like, Oh, you know, this year I'm like, I have the puppy, the puppy as an excuse not to, but that is very true what you're saying. Um, so the other thing is, um, you did mention like some continued limitations that linger after a harder treatment is done. And do you think that what happens is, and I, I don't know if this is the right way to say this, that people want you to get better so badly that once you've finished that final treatment, um, that they think you're not going to need as much help. That

Speaker 2:

Definitely a hundred percent. Yeah. Because you start to look normal and the hair comes in and you don't look so gone anymore. And you personally, and you you're usually sharing those with people. You have a countdown in your head for when you expect to start feeling normal and that doesn't happen and you may be through surgery and you may be dying or I'm labeled NEB, which has no evidence of disease, which means you're all clear. You're still going to feel pretty gross. Even once Mike, this chemo that I'm in now, which is called the quote, easy chemo, I'm expected to still have some joint pain and some memory stuff for months or even a year afterwards. And that's just, you don't realize that it's happening and there's lots of side effects that linger or worsen. And one time I asked a nurse why no one talks about that. And she said, it's likely that the doctors sometimes downplay it to ensure that we aren't too scared off from finishing.

Speaker 1:

Okay. Well that I get that. Yeah. But at the end of the day, I think it's important for everyone to know whatever it is.

Speaker 2:

A hundred percent. Yeah. I'd rather, they be brutally honest with me and just listen, there's going to suck for a year and you're going to be okay.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And like you, you know, kind of disseminate like, okay, I can deal with this today. I'll deal with this thought process tomorrow kind of thing.

Speaker 2:

And it's actually, there's, there's silver linings because there were days before I had cancer where I'd lay on the couch for, from the time I got home from school until it's time to go to bed. And now I take advantage of my good days and I'm not going to stop moving on those good days because I'm so happy to have them. Yeah. The motivation is really like, it gives you like a little boost of motivation. Cause you don't know when the next good day is going to come. So you get it all done on your good days. And you're so happy and

Speaker 1:

Yeah. So you take advantage of that, which exactly which allows you to do a little bit of planning, but not over-planning. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Which I always do. I'm sitting here telling you, you shouldn't,

Speaker 1:

I'm a type a person too. So I told you

Speaker 2:

My to-do list is never ending. It's just perpetual. And I took the date off the top.

Speaker 1:

There you go. Um, so one of the other things that we were talking about, what is helpful to say and not to say, I don't know. I think it's the not to say that might be the most helpful, but then again, who knows? So what are some tips that you can give about what to say and not to say to someone

Speaker 2:

The not to say, and we talk about this frequently in my support group is, um, like keep fighting to keep fighting, to keep fighting it's instinctual. And I certainly said it to my friends that were diagnosed before I had it. It's it's not inherently wrong to say, but the thing is, wait, we're not really fighting so much. As we have to surrender, we have to give up control of everything. We can't work. Sometimes we have to give up all physical control that we're constantly just like laying out on tables for people. We have no control over anything. So it's not necessarily a case of you just have to fight because it's not really a fighting kind of thing. It's more like you have to surrender until this is over and admit the fact that you don't really own your body right now until it's fixed.

Speaker 1:

Right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. It's not wrong to do the, the warrior talk and the fighter talk, but sometimes it does get to be a little much. So if you're close to them, you don't have to toss those lines out. Just I know this thinks and you can talk to me and I'm here and if you just want to vent or if you don't want to talk about cancer today and you want to talk about politics or reality TV, let's do that. Cause sometimes we're sick of talking about it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. I totally get that actually. And there I have friends who've gone through, uh, breast cancer and you know, and other types of cancer and you know that I'm kind of a straight shooter when it comes to this stuff as well. And I will say, if you don't and you can insert whatever bad word one here, if you don't want to talk about today, that's fine. What do you want to talk about?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. See how I am. And then let's gossip.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, exactly. All about the real Housewives. Cause let's look a hot mess. That's a dumpster fire. Every time you watch a show,

Speaker 2:

Salt Lake city just started. We need to talk about salt Lake city. Like I don't want to talk about cancer anymore

Speaker 1:

And you know, watch that. Cause I'm such a fan of the original orange County one. It's so crazy. I've heard, I've been watching like some of the stuff I'm like, Oh boy, here we go. Um, so now we're coming into the holiday season. One of the things that I guess would be, I think a good thing to emphasize is the gift of self care for yourself. Get your mammograms, get your sonograms, get your checkups, go to your GYN, have your annual goals, like have this stuff done, ladies and gents because you can't push this off all the time. Not make time for it. So that's obviously your health is something you want to focus on, but what kind of gifts would you recommend beyond? And I love what you said with this beyond the listed every internet site. And I'm like, Oh my God, I love this girl. She's so funny. Um, and you're right. It's like the same thing over and over. So I'd love to hear what you, I can only imagine what Kim has done.

Speaker 2:

So we get lots and lots of blankets, water bottles, socks, and coloring books. Those are the ones that must show up in the web searches constantly. I probably have 30 coloring books and those are free. I use them all, all of those came in really handy. You need blankets because the chemo rooms are freezing cold. They keep them cold. Um, you need non-slip socks because they're good for hospital floors and you don't want to wear theirs cause they're weird and gross. Um, water bottles are great, but try to avoid the metal ones because they make the water taste awful because chemo frequently just completely jacks up your taste buds and it makes the water taste like poison. Um, the number one thing that you can do for a cancer family for gifts is gift certificates for restaurant delivery. They were an absolute lifesaver. I can't even tell you they were the new meal train. And um, my brother-in-law actually set up a little virtual meal train because we don't have any family in Florida and the grub hub and the Postmate gift cards came in and I was like, Oh, I'll be able to cook. It's fine. These things were a godsend. It was such an incredible help because we had such a huge variety to choose from. And if I was having a day where it was just soup and Gatorade and like pills, I knew I didn't have to worry about feeding the rest of the family. My kid was going to be okay, like everyone was going to eat. Everyone's going to be happy out there enjoying their Chinese. And it was a nice distraction from having to worry about all the daily stuff. They could just get some burgers delivered. I think it just get a deli tray delivered and it, it was an absolute godsend. And we had enough that kept us going through. I had six hard sessions of chemo and we had enough gift cards to go all the way through. So if you know, somebody that's recently diagnosed, set up an online meal, train for them on one of the websites and just share it and let people send virtual gift cards to them.

Speaker 1:

Okay. I love that idea and I love that regardless, but I think that's the way to go right now anyways, because um, nobody wants contact because we're in the middle of a pandemic, which is another thing that we actually didn't really talk about. But that's a big concern right now. I mean, if it's because your immune system is already compromised and then it's like it's and again, we know cancer affects the entire family. My parents have lung cancer. So we went through that them, but we were adult children. So when you have younger kids and, and, and whatnot, and family members who are now living at home, that might not have been now, it becomes who are they around? Right. And a hundred percent. And, and now why, and then you don't want anybody to go out to a restaurant because you don't want them coming home.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. My surgery I did at the tail end of my hard chemo was right when COVID was beginning. And my surgery was scheduled for March 31st. And it was canceled three times because that's when they were canceling everything in the hospitals and my surgeon, she went to bat and she was like, she has to get in, like, we have to just get this done. We cannot put this off. And I was in that. I was in surgery. I was the only one in the surgical unit that day. And as soon as I woke up, they put my socks on handed me juice and put me in the car by myself and through there. But I mean, the way they handled it was just beautiful. I never felt alone. There was always a nurse there. They were holding my hand. It was when I woke up, I had my mask on. They, they, it was terrifying, but they handled it so well.

Speaker 1:

Oh, that's, that is actually so good to know because even now, um, there's going to be circumstances where you're going in alone. And as of this recording, we know that cases are going up again. So that does affect, um, when surgeries are happening and how they're happening and who has priority then for your surgeon for going to bat for you and say, let's get this done. Especially since this was what, your last, that was the last major thing. Yeah.

Speaker 2:

The deuteration by yourself. But they, even the way that they handled radiation, you stay in your car, they call you and you are the only patient in the entire unit. You're in there for eight minutes. And then you walk out an opposite door. Everything was so smooth. Yeah. It was great.

Speaker 1:

I've always been a fan of Westbrook medical center. I don't know if you knew this, but my, uh, my oldest daughter is 30, was born at the, uh, birthing pavilion there when they first opened. Oh, well, no. Yeah. So we've always had a, you know, yeah. We really want to, you know, our surgeons like Westbrook medical center. So, um, for knees and shoulders and stupid crap that happens, we tend to be out there, believe it or not. And, um, but yeah, Kylie was born there, so I've always really liked it. And my mother went through chemotherapy out there. So we've, we've always thought it was just an amazing, you know, facility. And we're lucky that we have it here in Boca. Um, any last things you want to share with my audience today, this is going to be on social media. It's not just on iTunes and the podcast. I share it out everywhere. So any, any other tips you'd to share today? Because they're fantastic. I mean really like good tips.

Speaker 2:

This one might not be so practical, but yeah, let's, let's maybe touch on the, the cancer ghosting, which people know is a thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. Shall we?

Speaker 2:

It definitely happened. And it was a shock. And for people that don't know cancer ghosting is when you basically lose your friends. When you get diagnosed, it's the same as ghosting that happens with dating except you have cancer and they get you. And I remember reading once that it happens to 65% of us, but according to what I hear in my support group, um, it's way more. Um, and I assume it was just, it's seeing me change so quickly and drastically was probably really like an in your face reminder of their own mortality as wives and moms. And that's hard, I get it. But if you can't handle seeing them, and obviously you're not seeing them much right now, shoot them a text once in a while, something you don't always have to talk about the cancer. Cause we're still us inside. We're still your friend. We're still your relative. Um, but the ghosting is so painful that you just, I understand that it comes from a place that isn't malicious, but it's just kind of like the icing on the terrible cake of here's the diagnosis, where are my friends? But on the flip side, it showed me who had my back through thick and thin. And there were friends that I haven't talked to in years that still check in on me weekly. And I have a friend that sends me a little XO XO text on the days when she knows that I'm going to feel like garbage after treatment. That's all it takes. She's not expecting anything back. She's letting me know she's she's there. And if it's hard for you, just do stuff like that, send them a meme, send them a cute picture, send them a joke, just let them know that you're around.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. I agree with you. And um, you know, I, I get it, but you know what? Come on, come on. Yeah, I know. And I know, and I know because then I mentioned she, when my mom was sick, um, friends of mine and I was younger, but still people that I thought would understand and be there for me no way. And that was social media, by the way. So it's like, it's super easy today. People just send a Facebook message. Um, you can do snail mail if you don't even want to like, have a back and forth. They're very funny cars by the way. So a very close friend of mine that I did this with, um, you know, I would just send really ridiculously stupidly funny cards because I didn't want to keep sending someone about cancer. I was like, Oh yeah, nail nail is my favorite

Speaker 2:

Drawer full of cards. And I've saved all of them. They're hilarious. I love it. I love getting snail mail and people just like asked for my address randomly and I'll give it to them. Then I'll get a cute little postcard with an, a little obscene joke. I love it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. There you go. Making us a sock puppet for a friend. Like, you know, I've got random sock puppet. I literally like I'm trust me. I am not housewife in that manner. And I know how to, so a couple of buttons on something and like, you know, I've made a little, like a mouth on it, you know, stuffed it. And I remember sending it like through the mail cause it wasn't big. And I sit here and she loved it. She's like for sure. Yeah. Take it. Um, anyways, Oh, one other thing I was going to ask you since we are like, in this season, is there, would it be helpful if, you know, let's say under normal circumstances because the gatherings right now are going to be vast, but under normal circumstances, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, lots of different things going on. Um, how do you feel about telling a hostess? You have some food preferences due to your lack of taste or that foods taste funny? Like I would, I would think personally I'd be like, Hey, you know, there's some things I really can't eat. Do you mind if I bring something or, you know, leave it up to them. If they want to like do something that's more appealing to you, how do you, how do you do that?

Speaker 2:

I think it's even in circumstances with allergies or something would fall in the same category where I think it's completely reasonable to say, Hey, I'm kind of high maintenance on the taste buds and the appetite, is it okay if I bring XYZ so that you don't have to go to the trouble of doing anything special for me, nine times out of 10, they're going to say, Oh, I'll make you this. Yeah. And I think it's perfectly reasonable because otherwise you're sitting there, everybody's questioning why you're not eating and

Speaker 1:

Yeah. Yeah. And you're like, Oh, I just want to really eat all. I want nothing today.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's totally reasonable. I mean, if they have a problem with that, you might need it

Speaker 1:

Reevaluate. And lastly, I'm just going to ask you, you mentioned a few times that you have an amazing support group. Um, is this something that was spoken medical center helped you coordinate?

Speaker 2:

No, actually it's on Facebook. Um, there is a support group that was run through my team, but they're not meeting through the COVID stuff. Oh God. But some of, yeah, but some of them are actually in the Facebook group. And actually my team set me up with a mentor who had the exact same type of diagnosis I did. So before chemo started before surgery, I was able to kind of hit her up and say, what do I expect? And she gave me like the nitty gritty of okay, here's how this is going to feel. And here's how I handle it. And they, I didn't even ask for that. They just, and they, they matched me up based on our personalities. So once they, yeah, it was awesome. It was great. So she's a mom and she's local and she's in, she has some of the same hobbies I do. And we're both really politically active. And so that was an amazing help in the beginning.

Speaker 1:

That's really cool. And since we're in South Florida, what's talk about the heat, how listen I'm menopausal. So there you go on throughs with me all the time, but I love it. And you know, I deal with it, but I, I would imagine that when you're going through treatment and then post-treatment does the heat bother you? And are there certain things that the block to do, but you just, it's just too much to be outside.

Speaker 2:

It's been a weird rollercoaster because I have what's called triple positive breast cancer, um, means that it's receptive to three different types of hormones and they needed to put me in like a rapid onset chemical on menopause. So that came right away and basically menopause squished into a couple months. So those hot flashes were something. And luckily that happened last winter, when at least we got a little bit of a cold snap, but yet it was the, the night sweats were crazy. It was, it was nutty. But then when you start radiation, everything flips. And I was, it was actually nice. I could go for a walk in the summer and it was, I wasn't even sweaty and I can't stand the heat. And now it's flipping back again cause I'm done with radiation. So you have no internal temperature regulator whatsoever. The key is just layers, go to bed and layers, have a layer at the bottom of the bed, have a cardigan on the couch, wear a tank top. If you just go with layers and I'm originally from Ohio. So I'm into the layers. This ingrained in me constantly just have easily added and remove layers.

Speaker 1:

So we're big Buckeye fans just in my husband. Sorry. I missed that. Both my brother-in-laws played for Ohio state. No kidding. Yeah. So we, uh, we love Columbus in Ohio. And it's funny though, because, um, uh, we were up in Ohio about a year ago, speaking of hot flashes and um, you know, sometimes that's a whole other conversation to have with a partner spouse or significant other as to why you want the AC at 70 degrees. And I finally got so ticked off. I sent an email to my husband and I said, this is no joke. Like this is serious. And you gotta like, w like I keep looking out the window and it was old fall. So, you know, it was beautiful, cool, whatever, like really seriously did you can't do that? Like, they'll put up a blanket. Like, so, I mean, it's like these conversations that you have to have regardless.

Speaker 2:

Yeah. Now that we're all home in the same house to California and he can not tolerate even an ounce of cold. So what we did was we had to shut the vents in the off, like the home office so that I could crank the air, but his feels like the beach. So we just, we adjust exactly.

Speaker 1:

We just, we have separate blankets on the bed now. So yeah, no, we're, we, it's funny though, because it's just one more conversation added to the layer of what you're going through. You know, you've got to kind of work around that. Um, so with that being said, I so enjoyed this conversation today and I, I appreciate the fact that you have been so open and sharing with your journey and look at the end of the day, you know, self care, self checking, getting these mammograms and ultrasounds are so, so important to all of us. And don't put it off, especially like this is dropping towards the end of the year, go in, make your appointments now. Right. A hundred percent. Like I said, I had, um, an all clear exam, um, in January of 2019, right. In August. I was staged too. Yeah. Like, that's that right there. Like really aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, there you go. Um, if anybody would want to reach out to you, um, how would they be able to do that? Um, I could give you my email. I'd be happy to field some emails. It's Kim K Y M dot Faust, F O U S t@gmail.com. Awesome. And I never tired of talking so I can answer any questions. Yeah, no, this was fantastic. And I so appreciate that you joined us today and that you again were very open and sharing, and I think these are absolutely things that are going to help everyone who's in that journey with a patient. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for being on hashtags. So focus stories today, and we will see everyone next week every day. Thanks again for joining me today with this week's episode of sobaka stories. If you'd like to be considered for an interview or would like to sponsor the show and blog, please feel free to reach out to me. The link is in the show notes. I hope you have an amazing week.