The Fine Line Between Friendship and Benefits

Have you ever wondered how friendships between people of different sexes work? Are you curious if men and women can truly be friends without any sexual or romantic tension? Join us as we dive into this age-old question and explore the liminal space between platonic and romantic interactions. We'll be discussing the benefits and drawbacks of opposite-sex friendships and the difficulties of maintaining these types of relationships. Whether you're trying to figure out if you and your opposite-sex friend are just friends or if there's something more going on, we can help. Listen to our podcast to learn more about the complexities of friendships between people of different sexes and the Fine Line Between Friendship and Benefits.

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Transcript

Unknown: 0:14

What's going on everybody? Welcome back to another episode of whiskey and uncensored. My name is Eddie Lopez. And I'm gonna be the host of this debauchery, where we discuss sex, sex trends, dating, relationships and all the shit that's in between with all of it all while having fun drinking whiskey. And today, I am on the old forester, which is a great time to wrap up, coming back from vacation and knowing that we're headed back to reality world of work tomorrow. Try Guys, we just got back. And on my other end, and I apologize is Miss Sheena gray. So we just got back from vacation. It was a nice, relaxing vacation. I thought originally we were going to possibly record an episode while we're out there, but ended up being too relaxing. And there was no need to do really work out there. So it was nice to be disassociated with any social work anything like that other than checking in on Facebook when we were going to different locations. But so do you enjoy good old Gatlinburg, Tennessee in Pigeon Forge? We did have a great time I thought it was it was a very relaxing time. The weather cooperated so it wasn't horrible. Well, the weather did cooperate during the middle of the week, except for when we left, which was a downpour. And then when we were coming in was still kind of rainy ish. But on the positive on the positive. Yes, you're right. The positive though. The weather was great. I got to do quite a bit of activities and again, sit back and relax at times. I think we were back in the room. The majority that's been motherfuckers we were back in the room. What about seven? Eight o'clock? Maybe nine o'clock for the on average? I think it was what seven? Superbowl Sunday? We came back late. And there was another? Yeah, but it still was past nine o'clock. Right. So but then there was there was another night that we actually stayed out rather late. And we were actually shocked like then we actually made it past 10 o'clock. So we definitely showed our age. No, the only Tennessee whiskey that we were drinking out there. Was that that oats? Oh, what is the old smoking moonshine or distillery? They're their little taste testing out there because you know I'm not buying a bottle of of that whiskey. It's it's just nothing but flavored to me. It's nothing but flavored vodka, but we did the taste testing and what you think of that taste testing that was there? We had what 99 of foam that we tasted nine for 5.5 or six? No, it was like nine for five bucks or something like that. I don't know. The first one was good. The first one actually tasted like moonshine. The rest of them were just so heavily flavored like they were kind of weird. The one that was supposed to taste like a Jolly Rancher like they were super sweet and just Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I totally agree. Ironically, though, I thought the pineapple one the actual fruit pineapple one that we tried, which kind of which was with pina colada, and I'm not, I'm not a pina colada person at all. But that pineapple that was infused with a was that one to me was the better out of the bunch that they had is trying. There was a few cream, coffee one, I was gonna say there was a few creamy ones that I wasn't too crazy for obviously, but it's more probably marketed to the females itself. But other than that we did drink quite a bit of beer though out there. We hit a lot of the head. And a lot of the breweries my untap app actually got loaded with a bunch of new different beers, which was, which was nice. There was only one that I had that I was not a fan of, and I think it ended up getting me sick, which was that brown ale that we had at during Super Bowl Sunday. And yeah, there's wouldn't do that again. Now. Let's let's back this up for a second. Let's go back to Superbowl Sunday because we knew how busy it was going to be in a lot of places. And I got to assume it was a mixture of that brown ale And the entire fucking menu of desserts that we ordered because because we were just sitting there, and people were waiting to come in and watch this game. So because the game was still going on, I didn't want to give up our seat already. So obviously I'm ordering a beer and I was like, You know what? We'll take everything that's on this dessert menu. And what was it? It was a brownie sundae type situation. And then it was a it was a blue cake. And I just thought it's interesting because blue velvet cake, the what was it? The brownie was actually not too bad. Obviously, that product put me into a diabetic shock attack. But that blue velvet was not that. Great. Right. Well, that was awful. Yeah, I think we ended up sending dry that's all. I think we ended up sending most of that cake back. They asked if we wanted to take it back to this to the room, right? Hell no, this is a it is not good. So I just want to see because it was fucking blue. Like, I wanted to see a blue cake. Like, you know, Billy Madison want to see a blue duck. I want to see I can I can make you any color tape that you want. Well, now, the bathroom experience after that was interesting, because everything came out blue. That's right. The dye destroyed the insight. Ah. So let's see what else what else do we conquer out there? Oh, we took you on. We went to Asheville. We went to Asheville to go catch it with your daddy and we went to the New Belgium brewery that was out there, which was rather nice. Got to meet your pops. Traveler did a little exploring in downtown Asheville, which Asheville is another one of my favorite places to visit. So if anyone gets an opportunity or has not been to Asheville, yes, the Biltmore is their main attraction, but Asheville itself, the town is very beautiful. The people are extraordinary friendly. And that'd be one spot that I would not mind moving to if I ever decided to go move into that area, that implicits almost a national or the Mecca of mountain bikers where they all reside and live so perks there. What else we, we took you on the Alpine poster, we just we, we weren't sure if we were gonna get you up there. But as soon as we got on the little cart, you know, you started having your little anxiety, panic attacks. Making the climb a mountain, you almost wanted to jump off and stop the ride. But there was no going back. But what did you say at the end of the ride? What did you say? I had fun. And a lot of fun. Yeah, you gave it a shot, you let the ambitions go. And you had a great time. Obviously, we had that big open wide open as much as we could. There was a few times I slowed it up where you just start waiting and freak out. But for the most part, other than two turns, I think we hauled out down that hill. So we were up and down within a total of seven minutes. I think it was, you know, most of the time, most of the time it was climbing because you just take forever. Climate but coming down, we were done with it. I was scared of it because I thought it was going to be a straight, straight shot down, which would have been fun. But that would have been an amazing one too. But then we were going to attempt attempt to take you ziplining until I saw the price. Yeah, so we attempted we thought about taking ziplining and when I looked up the price, I had to make a decision. You know, is it worth possibly getting these tickets and you chickening out and deciding not to go down these zip lines because I think there was like a total of seven zip lines over two or three miles of zip line and just like 150 bucks a person and I knew damn well that if we got up there, you may have freaked out and that would have been it because there would have been no refunds. And that could have been a rough car ride home. Just saying that could have been a either a rough one or a silent one on the way home so or not home but to the resort. Well I have to say we made it a 10 hour drive there. A whole week up there. 13 hours home and we still liked each other. So that's the let me talk that didn't ride home. I already have a 10 hour 10 hour limit in a vehicle and I matter of fact I had this conversation with mill when he came into town. And because he drove in from Texas and they decided to drive through and just stop at a red stereo sleep for about two hours switch out drivers and then continue on. I was explained to him I said my my limit in a car is 10 hours once I start getting past that 10 hour mark I start getting antsy and very fidgety that I need to start getting out of this vehicle. We unfortunately hit some traffic and the reason why we hit traffic I think is obviously it was pouring rain one when we left and then I decided to make the decision to not go through the mountains on the way back. So we went through Pigeon Forge to hit the highway i 40 so that way the safer route instead of you know five o'clock in the morning, going through the dark pouring rain into two skinny Lane mountain roads you know something happened and nobody's gonna find this right and because obviously there's no service in those fucking mountains. So I made a decision to go to the high, go through the pigeon forwards go to the highway and then go up to Knoxville and come down, down 75 Well, we did fine until we got started getting into Atlanta, which was around 930 We were the traffic wasn't bad. We got through it before the lunch and all that good stuff. And it was actually just a weekend. So it was busy ironically. But it wasn't till we got to Marietta, Georgia where we hit a wall of traffic and we started doing some side roads, you know, according to Google, and then it wasn't till Ocala rural calla was the worst spot where we got stuck on a constant standstill. And all in all, we ended up we ended up being backed up for three hours because it took us 13 hours to get home and let me tell you my out my anxiousness was already ready to get out that fucking car, I was like, Alright, I'm past my mark, I need to get this car. And so we started booking it so but overall, the trip was amazing. We had some gorgeous views. So if anyone has not been out to that area, you need to go check it out. It has gotten quite quite pricey compared to the last trip that I had out there. But it's like anything else right now everything's everything else is expensive. So you're gonna you're gonna pay for vacation, it is what it is. So with that being said, today's topic, and this topic has already been out on the whiskey and uncensored blog, which actually is doing fairly well. So if anyone has not had a chance, an opportunity to go check it out, go check out the blog site on whiskey and uncensored.com. There's approximately six articles up there now. And I'm going to try to keep those coming out on every other day basis. You know, just as I feel motivated to post these out, but it's actually doing well. But today's topic is actually going to discuss I think it was the first article that posted on there was opposite sex friendships and can opposite sex legitimately be friends without no other physical attachment and the importance of opposite friends sex. So before we get into opposite friends, yeah, opposite friend sex for relationships, no, no sex, but just just opposite sex, you know, you know what I'm talking about goddamnit. So before we get started, because obviously, I have my notes here, I got a bunch of pros and cons in regards to the topic. But let me ask you, I'll ask you a few questions. And then we get into some of these pros and cons here. You get ready? How did you? How did you form your first opposite sex friendship? And what drew you to that person? I mean, I can't think of like a specific why unnecessarily because I've always preferred to have guys as friends versus girls. So I mean, I would say it started when I was like tiny, tiny, I guess in a meaning like when you're, I guess more of a teenager going into your adulthood. You know, I missed all of my friends when I was a teenager were guys, which is not uncommon. For some reason, I've learned that females have a lot more guy friends, and they do female friends. And yet vice versa. Sometimes guys tend to have quite a bit of female friends sometimes and we'll get to this and some of the pros and cons. But sometimes friendships that have an ulterior motive behind them, but not always. But I have noticed that, yes, females tend to, you know, gravitate more to the guys for friends, do you think? Do you think sometimes that, you know, what you carry between your legs actually affects your friendships? Like, why they want to be friends with you? Or is it because you're bubbly personality that they want to be a friend with you? Well, we both know I don't have a bubbly personality. I was trying to just kind of give you that bubble. You know, we know. We know. Yeah. I mean, I can't speak from their perspective, right? I don't Maybe they had a different motive or whatever, I can't speak from their perspective. But typically, like, I had more in common with them, like I could talk to them about cars, I can talk about sports, like, I didn't feel like I had to be some type of way. Whereas girls are very emotional, which can be kind of draining. And I've come into have not go ahead. And as I've come into my adulthood, I still prefer to have been, as friends. Almost every single one of my friends are men. They tend to tell me how it is. They don't feel like they need to, you know, pussyfoot around or anything. And they're not typically as emotional. Especially like, oh, I want to be careful how I word this, I guess. But when you try to fill your, your circle with high performing people, there's going to be more vivid in that realm than female. High performing meaning successful, right? Is what you're essentially getting. Yeah. Okay. Just want to make sure that we're on that same page there. Alright. So how did you maintain boundaries? When? I mean, what's your, what's your conversation with them to make sure that they understand your certain boundaries? Because at some point in time, you guys are gonna think, okay, you know what? There's, we've been friends this long, possibly go out for a few drinks in a little tipsy. We're close. Never know. Right? So how do you maintain those situations and boundaries, like, hey, we might go out drinking, but you ain't pounded. So it hasn't always needed to be a boundary. I've never, I don't think I've ever had that conversation. of hey, we're never going to sleep with one another. I can't recall having that conversation. I mean, one of my favorite people in my mentor, I, there's no, we've gone hiking together, I've been in his place. We've gone out to dinner, multiple different states had drinks with one another and nothing has ever been. And I don't think either one of us ever would, because we value our friendship a lot. So it's just kind of unspoken there. Now. In my single days, some time, it's easier to hook up with a friend. So sometimes that boundary doesn't need to be there. Okay, because well, we'll get to one of those questions later. Yeah, we'll definitely get to one of those questions. But all right. So before we get into some more questions and more discussion on it, let's get let's go over some of the pros and cons of after some of the research done of having opposite sex as friends in the benefits, right, let's just talk the pros first. One, is you're going to have an sometimes an increased understanding, right? Having friends of the opposite gender can help gain better understanding and perspectives than that have the same sex. Yes. All right. No, I completely agree. All right. Yeah. I mean, because I mean, I know for a fact, sometimes I do have some female friends, who sometimes I'll reach out to and be like, hey, was I wrong for this? I know, if I asked my guy buddies, they're gonna be like, Look, Nah, man. He was good. He was good, you know. So, you know, sometimes it's good to get that other opinion from a female or, Hey, I said this was either wrong, or was I Okay? And I like to know that I can least be validated from a female's perspective, that I in fact, was in the right did not do wrong, because we know, I don't like doing wrong. I mean, if I go back to, you know, who I was hanging on, so close friend of mine and mentor, there's no anything there. And like we both went through, he went through his divorce. And I went through my separation at the exact same time. So it was not like, as in his books, his high school sweetheart. So as he was entering back into the dating world and stuff, I mean, he kind of leaned on me, we had a ton of conversations, and vice versa. Like, he was kind of my go to whatever. I mean, I think you need to have a different perspective, right? No, I totally agree. And actually, ironically, that's the bullet point number two is the different perspectives, you know, having a different look on. You know what? Your current sex is not going to provide you usually because it's going to be your buddies, your girlfriends or whatever going to provide you What do you want to hear and not exactly what might be the The answer that is should be. Let's see another another pro here is enhanced communication skills. friendships with people in opposite gender can help improve communication skills and learn to navigate sensitive topics. Now, I'm not sure. And I guess when I'm thinking sensitive topics, are we I'm trying to figure out, are we discussing like, sexual topics? This one I kind of was like, what are we talking here? So sensitive topics that we discussed in sexual Scotians? Because that can get a little weird, right? If you're having sexual conversations with your female friend in regards to your current partner, like, at some point, you know, are you are you pushing that? Yeah. So what are the sensitive? What sensitive topics do you think is being enhanced? I mean, that's what I got out. I mean, like, Wait a minute. Okay. Well, the way you just put it, yeah, like, if you're in a relationship with somebody, I don't know that you want to be going, especially as a man to another female. Were you talking about the success that you're having? With your girl? Right? But like, outside of a relationship? I mean, I've had a lot of talks with my guy friends about sex, or whatever, are different situations, or is this something that guys like or don't like, or whatever? And they never turn around? So here? Let's find out. I'll let you know if I liked it or not. And then you can test it. I mean, that joke like that might be thrown out? Oh, yeah. Of course. I don't know. Let's find out. I'll let you know. How about you try it on me first. But then there's some. I don't know. You start getting into that blurred line at this point. I mean, there is, there's a scale there. Right, you can have that nice communication skills, but it does tend to get blurred, depending on some of the conversations. Another pro, and then I'll jump into some cons. You have emotional support. Right? opposite sex friendships can provide emotional support, and a non judgmental outlet for discussing personal issues. Have you had to lean on your girlfriends for emotional support breakups or anything like that? Or do you tend to leave that for your girlfriends? I actually ate I mean, both. But I rather I would say, I like having both. Like, I know that my best friend is gonna give me like all the love in the world and make me feel amazing. And like, I'm the best person that there is and just just want to fill my cup with all those love. What about Thai friends are going to, that's what I'm saying. So then guy friends are going to be more, they're going to give me some love. They're not going to bash me. They're not going to make me feel horrible. But they're also going to give me some truth. Or they're just going to be like, I mean, when I went through my last split, and I hadn't even told that male friend, his girlfriend. What was it? I don't know. Somehow he saw some type of posts that made him go What the hell's going on, and it wasn't even about my split. And he calls me he's like, What the fuck is going on there. So I tell him, whatever was going on, and he was very much tough, tough love. He was like, you have two options to fucking cry about it. Or you can get your shit together and move on. He was like those are two options. He was like crying about it's not going to make money. Well, is it always about making money at that point when you're your emotional distraught I mean is that is that the motivation? Gotta go make your money go don't fuck around with Don't worry about your relationship right now go make some goddamn money. I mean, the relationship is over so there wasn't anything to worry about. It was over so um, I don't know if it was the best advice so I was like all right, but and I through my whole life into my career and into working out but then I agree with you though. Then all the emotions and shit that I needed to work through ended up ballooning later the like a year later and then it was like whoa, why are you here? Why are these emotions here completely bypass them and then didn't actually this is where sometimes this is where the girlfriends actually come into play because girlfriends enjoy another girlfriends drama right? Women I know you say you don't have a lot of female friends but you know you talked to a guy when it comes to some of your drama he's just gonna sit there and lie to God yes I'm here for your I'm here for you. Yes but in all honesty is like dear god is please shut up. This is just trauma I don't want to hear and females females fucking crack open a bottle of wine get the glass out. Let's talk about this shit. You know let's let's let's let's get you figured out let's get you fixed. Let's get you moved on and let's get you laid All right, stupid. I can do I don't think most females say that. Once that one gets stuck here, and I'm like, let's go. Yeah. You'll feel better real quick. Come on. Yeah, exactly. All right, so let's, let's jump into a few of the cons here. Before I come back to some questions, more questions for you. The number one con, when someone has an opposite sex friend, is jealousy, jealousy from their significant other, this is the number one issue on the cons list. And which is, which is a valid valid issue. Because if you are in a very committed relationship in granted, you know, everyone knows, everyone should know that everyone's gonna have friends on both both genders, right? But when you, you tend to spend probably more time with the friend than compared to your partner, obviously, he's going to end things that you may have conversations with on the partner and that they know all your intimates are your friend, and they know all your intimacy and all your intimate discussions. Yeah, you're gonna sometimes and that's where you, you know, we were discussing earlier, your partner is going to kind of feel some kind of way, right? It's like, why do they know all of my business? You know, if you have issues, we shouldn't be talking about it not talking about our issues to your thoughts, in general, our male friend, or another female friend, like you're gonna read running off to the females or whatever, you want to keep that in house. Because obviously, you know, the more drama that gets dispersed to a friend, the, you know, the more branches are going to branch out, because it's gonna get spread, like wildfire. But Jealousy is a big number one on if friends really can be friends with opposite sex. I mean, because there's that and then misunderstand, you know, your significant other, you know, again, can see things a different way. Say, why is it that your buddy is always texting? Why are you always on the phone? Why? Why are you getting all this? You know, why do they always have your attention? So there's obviously misunderstanding with the partner. Now, there could also be misunderstanding and communication between the friends where sometimes signs can be misconstrued. You know, like, we were just saying, you don't went out going out for drinks, things get really touchy feely, sometimes, right? And all sudden, but you're not always. So are all of these, consider for somebody that's in a relationship? No, not necessarily, I think there's a different, there's different, you can do different things with your friends that are of the same size, when you're in a relationship versus when you're not, but the cost around nine, but the cons are going to be the same way. I mean, again, if we're, if there's gonna be misunderstandings, there could be a misunderstanding on what you're considering as a friendship compared to what they want to consider as a friendship, right. But if they're thinking, we'll start here, and see where it goes, while you might be on the other hand thinking is going to be strictly platonic. And us being friends, I might want to be friends with you for so many months and see where I can work my way in at some point, you know, I've been the shoulder to lean on force, you know, three, four months, at some point, there's other parts I want you to lean on, you know, just, you know, I'm just putting I'm just putting it out there. I'm being real, like, you know, those are some of the misunderstandings or romantic tension can build between two friends. When you spend so much time together. Feelings can evolve, right? Why is that a con? If you're if, if one person is only looking for that friendship, and the other tends to not if they started getting feelings that can cause some problems that can cause some rift between the two? Yeah, yeah. So that's why this on the con list is because it can't build that romantic tension. How do you not had a situation where you had a friend and romantic tension started to build either your end or their end? And you had his kind of step in and say something or, or like you're saying, sometimes it's easy, just let a friend just hit it, you know, and be done with it. Yeah. Um, do you not see a problem with this? I also didn't you just decide. I guess I haven't really experienced that. So I can't talk on it firsthand. I mean, do you have an experience what that you thought romantic tension or that you let a friend hit it and just you were still able to be friends with no problems? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. Like what letter Brenda hit it. And then just, it was never a thing after it wasn't we never talked about it again. It was not, it wasn't a thing at all. And you were able to carry on your friendship like, it never happened. And like it never happened at all. Nothing ever changed. I don't see why it's odd. There was no emotional to it and wasn't like, oh, I want to be with you. So let me see if I could sleep with you. And then you're gonna like me, it wasn't any of that. We're literally both taking our cars through a carwash. I was like, Hey, you want to vote? He was like, yeah, yes. Okay, yeah. And then there was nothing. I mean, there was no anything after that, like, at all. So somehow, I almost find that hard to believe that at some point, no relation, like no feelings got in the way. Like, because what if, and this is going to be one of the I think he had feelings for everybody that you've stuffed, like on now. I mean, but I didn't. I can't say that. I remained friends like I've had relations one night stands. And I can't say that for the most part that I'm still friends with a lot of the one night stands. It was a one night stand. That's that was the purpose of it wasn't just to be banging my friends when I needed just a quick booty call. That's what a one night stand. That's the whole purpose of the one night stand so you can hit it, quit it and never have to deal with it again. Friends, you can get into get into that tricky situation, man. That's That's why I find it hard to believe that at some point, there was no emotions that got involved. Okay, I don't know, I guess because it was. I don't know. For me, it was like, these are my friends or people that I know. Like, and trust. No. No, have you mean? I mean, as far as like, the romantic kitchen or any of that crap. I mean, I had a friend when you and I first got together, and he started getting weird as shit. And I was like, alright, you gotta go. So my point exactly. So once you have a friend that starts to kind of build some emotion, it's gonna get weird, right? It's, I mean, it's, it's gonna be weird. That was already weird, though. Because that started as like a friends with benefits situation. And then I was like, Hey, I don't want to sleep with you. No more, but we can still be friends. It's not gonna happen, man. Yeah. Then he was very like, yeah, no, not weird. I was like, okay, I can do it. I guess you can. So have you ever experienced any jealousy or insecurity from a romantic partner? Regarding an opposite set? Friends? Yeah, you have. Okay, and how did that fare out? Did you? Were you? Were you given the ultimatum? Like, it's either me or your friend? How did that? How did that play out for you? Well, it can play out that way. Because at the time, that Prime was awesome. My broker so I was my friend was the broker. never slept with him ever. There was never anything romantic between him and I, but we were good friends and we talk to each other a lot. We were on the phone with each other a lot. And, and then significant other was just getting kinda kind of weird about it. Because you're on the phone, there is started to be little comments, right? Like, just those little, you know, or, I mean, I worked at the office really late, a lot. And I was 99.9% of the time, they're completely alone. Like, my broker biocote came, he was typically gone. Every once in awhile, he would stay late, but we would never just stay there late alone or anything, but there was always comments. Always. Oh, I mean, yeah, if if these tend to have some kind of insecurity and says weird feeling like, I don't know, man, somehow she's in the office late as hell every night talking to so so every night. Yeah, it's gonna It is literally going to physically fuck with somebody's mind that, you know what the hell you know, and I get it. It's, it's, it's one of those. It's one of those careers. But, you know, like, the medical field, it's gonna fuck with people's head, you know, because you don't know what's actually going on. You know, I think it's actually in any career that you just spend most of these long, late hours in the office, but, you know, it's, if you're not secure enough with yourself, you're gonna you're gonna fucking start going through your own head like coming up with scenarios and acting the fool. Wow. Now in your experience hence, the opposite friends, sex friendships lead to any romantic relationships? Or were they able to be kept purely platonic? That was one of the question. Now we know you answered the first one more there. That's what I'll say. Now that question was going to be coming up. Now. Where are their friends that you actually had with? Did you have more friends? And not that you were actually able to keep platonic? Or would you have more friends that you actually was just smashing? Texting through the carwash and stuff? But then you'd had friends that you kept platonic? Yeah. Did you have more platonic friends? Did you have more friends with empty benefits? I've only had a couple friends? There are no, I would say more of them are platonic. Now. I'm just trying to think on my math, like I didn't get your math. Correct. Do we? Do we need to get the scientific calculator out for this? Funny, funny, I mean, we can start doing some long division. I mean, I'll say on my thigh now that I'm thinking about it. I mean, there was one of my friends or whatever, that I was like, Oh, shit, I think I could catch a feeling for you. And I'm not in a place that I want to catch a feeling I don't want. I was like, so we might need to back off of our communication a little bit. Because I know that's not what you're wanting. And I just don't, I don't want to catch feelings for somebody. So did you ever have you ever had to end? And I think we already touched this. When did you ever have to end a relationship with a friend beak? Has romantic feelings started to come up to come into fruition? I mean, obviously, you said right. Before we started talking, you had your friend. But other than that one, was there others that you just said, Hey, it's not going to happen. And we need to just remain friends. We can't. We can't do this. Because Have You Ever Have you ever mixed business friends with pleasure friends? I mean, because with pleasure, because just to try to, you know, get the next step in the financial Heder met with some business friends? No, not like that. No. Have you mixed business friends? With? Well, now? It's, it's not a wow, it was just a general question. Like, because, you know, you know, they say that some folks will find ways to climb up that ladder and sleep with the bosses or whatever. And it doesn't have to be a female only it can be a male, you know, young stood like myself come across a did you just say young, you didn't write I said Young, Young stood like myself coming to an office and have a stallion of a boss chick, you know, like, you know, maybe I can work up the financial ladder, you know, that could be a possibility. But it doesn't always have to be the females having a super way up. So the question is, did you or have you ever had to take a business friend, and you know, make it more than a friendship to benefit in a career? No, really? I'm not saying that, because I'm shocked. But I'm just saying because you know, you're sure nobody else can see you. But I can. Oh, sorry, my face, give it up like Oh, shit, she was Yeah. I mean, climb the financial ladder. So with your personal growth? Do you feel that opposite sex friends benefit you more? Or do you think that sometimes the same sex friend can help you benefit more in your personal growth? I get it. That's a tough question. And I guess, like I would love to be able to answer and say that I've really bonded with some high performing women. I just have it. Like I told you, that was actually a goal for me in 2022. I'm like, Okay, I'm out here. The dating world, most guys seems super put off by the fact that all of my friends are dudes. And let me try to build some female relationships. And it was just very difficult. Even last year, last, in the spring, I went to like this, all women saying and the energy and the light. I just felt so sick. Like I didn't enjoy it wasn't none of it felt warm and welcoming. Versus when I go to the similar events at the same place where the MC, men talk to you easier. They make it more comfortable, more welcoming, like, I don't know, men are just so much easier to get along with. We are but there's also times where like, you're friendly to her. Let's see where this could possibly go. Yeah. And I'll say, No, I'm not saying everybody but I'm just saying I agree. I mean, let me let me open a conversation and understand that and see where this potentially could potentially go, you know, so I 100% understand that. No, you did not you did kind of hit on something where I wanted to also bring up. It's actually one of the cons on the list was that people noticed that if you have to have more male friends, it looks fun, right? It gives that social stigma, you know, a lot of inappropriate rumors, suspicion, it leads into that judgment. Like, wait a minute, she's always with all these dudes, you know, why is that? Why she's got more? Dude friends and female friends? What's up with that? So that normally comes from females, typically, in just general. But then when you get into the dating world, because I was upfront about it up front that you were involved with somebody or that you happen to Oh, no, no, no. Which I had, that I had meant that most of my friends were men and betta like I have. At that time, I have like, close relationships with three men that were in my day to day life. And for some people, they like I never want to fight anything on the back end. So when when you start a new relationship, is this something that you normally would bring up immediately to see how this new boo would react to you let them know that, hey, I have a rather before a new relationship, before there's even something to call a relationship, that you would mention that you have an abundance amount of male friends compared to female friends that way and see how their initial reaction is. I don't remember getting that word the way you did. We didn't have this conversation. Remember this conversation? But this is why I'm like, oh, no, that's that's kind of why I didn't get that conversation. I didn't talk. Oh, no, no, no. We talked about Joe number, but we didn't talk about we, we didn't talk about all the male friends, but I kind of figured out all the male friends after a while. No, I spoke about my male friends from the get go. No, we did not have that conversation. We did not have this. We were talking about how funny it was like my friend quit his best friend Eddie. Oh, that was so funny. Haha. That that was just because we happen to have friends in the same with the same names. And it just happened to be that conversation, but they just happen to be men and I just happen to be a female. Oh, yeah. All right. Whatever. We've talked about my male friends, I don't know. Our conversations definitely went very different than what my typical mean, you conversations been different, like when we first met, like our first encounter with one another. So to sum things up. To sum things up, the whole myth of guys can't be friends with females and females can't be friends with males. Do you see? So you? Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on. Let me finish was zero. wait before you sum this up? Because I just realized I answered all these questions. Every single fucking one of them. Yeah, exactly. That's the way it works. I asked the questions you answer. never slept with a female why's call? center my show? Because I get to. Have you not picked up on all this? I'm always asking the questions. I am the host. I don't necessarily go through the questions. But I can go through questions if you want me to. Have I slept with all right. Are they answered? Have I slept with any of my female friends? No. I mean, like I said, because usually it's a one night stand situation. It's not. I tend to not want to take that. I don't want to paint that lie. And we'll we'll finish this after. What? How are we? Yeah, I I'm telling you have more questions, I think. Okay. Ask your questions. So let's hear let's throw them up now. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, okay. I just have I see me I'm a person. I don't want to take that line. Because I'd rather if I'm going to keep their friendship. I'd rather keep the friendship now. Has there been a romantic or not romantic tension. But did feelings ever get caught up? Yeah. I mean, I've had female friends where I kind of like, you know, like you said, don't want to catch feelings. So you kind of like, start to pull away. You don't want to catch feelings and mess things up. But sometimes those feelings do grow. And you kind of just have to realize it's not meant to be or is that happen because they might also be feeling the same way that you know, Dan, well, you don't want to ruin that friendship. Yeah, that's one thing I tried not to even deal with. I'd rather have my female friends that way I can reach out to them. Shoot the shit if I have to. And that's it. So you think there should be bound very sad, like in a relationship, you can do this or you can't do that, like your friend of the opposite set? To, to an extent, probably Yeah, they probably had some discussion probably needs to happen, you know, but you know, for me, I'm not one that is that much of a jealous type person. So I really probably not the best answer because I'd be like, if you want to do something, do something, but it's going to be on your conscious if something happens. And if I find out then it is what it is nice knowing your type situation and, you know, move on. But I do think they're, you know, there should be conversations or, or things of that nature like, yep, probably shouldn't spend the night at all your male friends or female friends house. I mean, yeah, you can have drunken moments where your friends are gonna pass, obviously, you know, they're good friends, yeah, they'll pass out. But you also got to be that responsible one as well to make sure that you also respect your partner at that end, you know, but again, yeah, those are conversations that probably should be had, and see how comfortable your, your significant others at that point. So, so some things up before you interrupted me some in the last time. So we're saying the myth can be busted that men and female can, in effect, be friends and not have anything more than a platonic friendship? Yay or Nay? Yeah, absolutely. Agree. So folks, there you have it, we went through some of the pros and cons. If you want to read more on the blog article, again, that is up on whiskey and uncensored.com. And the sub site, some map title navigation is blogs, click on it, it'll take you to all the blogs. And you can read more on this topic, but I figured it'd be awesome for us to have physical, you know, podcast conversations, male or female, and have this discussion. So all that said, if you guys enjoy the episode, please make sure you go subscribe to us on Apple podcast or wherever you're streaming us from. I know I have a lot of folks that are overseas as well that listen to the show. So I thank you very much. And if you can share us with your friends. We'd love to have more followers in different parts of the country around the world. And make sure you go check us out on our socials risky to and uncensored on Facebook, and risky and uncensored on Instagram. We'd love to have you there as well. join our newsletter if you'd like whiskey and uncensored.com and Gina, do you have anything before we say our final dreaming sign off message here? No, we're good. And with that, as always. Drink your whiskey and enjoy your life and we're out