How to be a great girlfriend (psttt, there are 30 ways!)

In this episode of the Whiskey'd and Uncensored podcast, we discuss the article "How to Be a Good Girlfriend" and its claim of revealing 30 ways to be a better partner. We'll explore the top 10 qualities the article suggests and whether or not we agree with them; spoiler, we do! We also touch on gender roles, the importance of support in relationships, and the significance of addressing your partner's feelings. Tune in as we dive into this article, share our thoughts, and debate the legitimacy of these traits. Grab your favorite whiskey and join us for this intriguing conversation!

Article:
https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-to-be-a-good-girlfriend/

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Transcript

0:14

What's going on everybody? Welcome back to another episode of Wied and Uncensored. My name is Eddie Lopez, and I'm gonna be the host of this Debre, where we discuss sex, sex, trans dating relationships, and all other kinds of shit in this thing called life all while drinking whiskey and just shooting this shit. And oh, and even though I just said that myself, I, I've, ooh, I'm still hurting. But on the other end, before I'll begin into that story on the other end, I have Miss Sheena Gray. How you doing Ms. Sheena Gray? I'm okay. Good deal. Do. Sorry. Yeah, that you had a bad day. I had a horrible, I can't say I, I had a horrible weekend, but I had a fun yet painful weekend and we're gonna get into that. But today, just to bring up, I am drinking the Crown Royal exo. And as I mentioned a second ago, just the thought of it and the smell of it when I was pouring, it just kind of stirred my stomach because as we all know, I had made reference I think it was last episode, that Mr. Clint Randall was going to be in the studio this weekend. For the most part it kind, it was true. But the problem is Mr. Clint Randall came into town on a Friday night and Eddie decided to greet him where he resided pretty much all weekend, which is over one of our local dive bars. Winter Circle. So I met up with him there. And that was the end of, end of it. Basically, we started there and we hopped around. We ran into a bunch of friends that were in town and for, you know, I don't want to get rid to go through too much story because obviously when we get Clint rescheduled we will have it of the story out there. But yeah, so we started out at one bar shots after shots and drinks and mixed shots and you know, Clint is just a shot after shot type of guy. Drop off his car at the hotel room, bounce around a little bit, few spots at some point, I don't remember the rest of the night after like, I think our fourth spot. So, yeah, it it was bad. Then Clint shows up, I don't know, I mentioned it so many fucking times. This guy has got a liver. Of fucking steel. I don't know how he can just wake up and bounce back. But he had an appointment with the tax man, that's why he was in town. And next thing you know, I get a call, say, Hey, I am on your way to the house to record. And here I am still in bed. I literally set myself in bed. I thought I tried to wake up early enough to let the dog out. And I woke up, everything started spinning, and I was like, yeah, I'm not doing this. I'm gonna lay it back down. Then he calls me around one 30. So I tried, I tried to literally get outta bed, move around, try to get the studio set up, ready to go, and it just wasn't happening. So I pulled it all out of the room here, went to the living room, tried to set it up there thinking I can just be comfortable on the couch and maybe we can just have this conversation. Anytime I moved, it just, I just got nauseous. I had to get up multiple times. I'm thinking I can try to make myself throw up cuz I had previously thrown up at police once and I haven't thrown up from drinking in a long time. So that just goes to show you the influence this guy has on my liver. So anyways, long story short maybe you just talked too much shit about me from St. Patrick's Day. Yeah, I mean that could be the karma that came back and bit me in the ass, but I'm, I paid for it because after we decided, and, and mind you, he's at my house already drinking tequila already at my house. He started drinking shots, a couple shots already and I'm just like, oh dude, you're gonna make me just throw up cuz all I can do is smell at tequila. So we decided to reschedule. So we will try to reschedule that meet or meeting. But podcast episode we tried to reschedule actually the next day. He decided to go on a bender that night, and then he was laid up, so he paid for his sins all day. Yeah, it, it, it is gonna be a funny story because the, the timeline of the things that happened and how we were supposed to meet up even on Sunday just, it was just one debacle after another. So, anyways, so here we are today talking shit about it, and I sound like Brad Garrett because Brad Garrett apparently fucked up his scheduling when he was having his last guest recent MMA fighter on their show, but apparently he fucked that up. So we're all fucking up our schedules. But anyways, we will get our shit together. It's just the nature of the business. So, other than my horrible slash fun drunk overdone weekend How was your day? How, how, how's things going with you today in the real estate world? Today? Yeah. Today. Yeah. You know, sounds like you need to drink the pre convo that we just had. Sounds like you need a drink. I a love it drink Right now this Sprite zero isn't hitting on much. Add a little, add a little vodka to and you're good to go. Yeah. I don't keep liquor in my house. You need to keep, you need to keep a bottling there somewhere. Hide away from the kids, maybe under the nightstand or something. So that way when you have days like this, you can just close the door, crack open the bottle and be like, ah. So relaxing. Just one of them days, huh? Dealing with just one of them days. One of them days dealing with greedy clients. So it is what it is. It is what it is. It is what? Tomorrow's another day. You know, I just have to remind myself, I was talking to one of my brokers the day. And I was like, you know, it was a couple days right before the last time I was over your way. And it was just like, here, no, no, no, no. Overusing this person. Oh, we can't get approved. It was just like one no after another. And I was like, shit, I need a couple days reset. Yeah. Go back at it. And she was like, I love the way you think about things and blah blah blah, and how you just like bounce back from it and you don't get all negative. And I'm like, all right, all right. Well let me just keep replaying that to myself this evening. Cause the phone rang off the hook like after like seven o'clock. Just or yesterday? Yeah. Or this morning? No, tonight. Oh, wow. Yeah. Dinner was ready. I was trying to help the oldest with his taxes and then the phone just would not stop. Fuck the tax man. Fuck that tax man. Fuck the tax. Yeah. I'm a poor kid. He owes taxes. Oh, that's the worst. I, trust me, I feel his pain. I still owe taxes, girl. I haven't filed for this year. Anyways, tax day was yesterday. I filed an extension. Oh, okay. Okay. I was saying shit. Tax day was, Anyways, can we talk about something else? Yeah. Right. So listen, actually, it's funny, before, before we get into kinda little thing that you sent me there was a story down in West Palm. You know, we all get stuck in traffic, right? We all get, you know, and it's usually bottlenecking because there was an accident. If somebody wants to see what's happening or if you're in my area, it just fucking stopped for no reason on I four. And we can, we can have an entire podcast just fucking bitching about I four and that nonsense. But yeah. Fuck I four. Yeah. But there was A road, a section in West Palm Beach, the entire traffic was blocked off and it wasn't because of old timers crashing people. Bottlenecking. What do you think? Stopped traffic going both ways in West Palm Beach? Like on a regular road or on the interstate? No, on a regular road. Got flipped Gators. Damn. That's actually pretty fucking good. That's actually, that's what it was. Yeah, it was. It was this massive gator decided to just take a stroll and park itself on the damn street and the roads got blocked. They actually blocked off the road until they called Florida Fish and Game to come get this come trap, this D Gator. So I'm like it's not old people. It's not accidents. Only in Florida will traffic be stopped because of alligators on the goddamn road. Ah, anyways, and that's not too far from you, right? West Palm? Was it about 20 minutes, minutes, 20 minutes or something like that? 30. 30. All right. Close enough. Damn it, 10 minutes is not a big deal. It's not far. Just sold a property down there. All right. So anyways, so you sent me an article the other day, or maybe a couple weeks ago now, actually, somewhere that's a couple months ago, eh, I don't think it was that long ago. But anyways, I thought this article was pretty fucking interesting. And when I originally read the title, and mind you, this story that you sent me came from marriage.com, and at first I was like what the fuck is she sending me from marriage.com? Where, where, where is she trying to go with this already? And I said she knows my fans on this right now, and why is she sending me links from marriage.com. But anyway, so I decided to take a look at this link that you sent. Open it up, and as soon as I saw the title, I was like, this shit was written by a man, has to be written by a man. So I go, look up. That's what I said, but you looked at it and it's written by a woman. I looked it up and it saw, it was a female who wrote this article, and I wanna praise kudos to this lady who wrote this fucking article. The article itself, and I will post this link on the social or the socials the show notes of the podcast so people can actually go check out the actual story. But the actual article is called How to Be a Good Girlfriend. And this is, I want Every 30 ways to be a Good Girlfriend. I want every woman that listens to this show, or maybe even happens to come across the podcast in the near future. To go look at this article because we're actually gonna talk about some of the points on here and figure out if this is legit because there's an actual test on here. I saw that there was a link enough. Oh, is there? Yeah, I didn't go do it obviously, but I saw that there was a link so people can actually go take this test. These females can go take this test just to see if they are a good girlfriend. And let's, let's even up the Annie. I didn't. Good girl. See a link for a quiz? Yeah, there's a quiz on there. Maybe good girlfriend slash wife because these traits in here, she hit it, she the nail in the head. But before we get, I think they're pretty good and they go both ways. Yeah, it does. And I know you mentioned that there's an article out there as well, how to be a good boyfriend, but we're gonna skip that one right now. We're not, we're not gonna get into that. We'll get into that in another topic another day. But let's talk and let's. You know, relish on that. This article is just how to be a good slash great girlfriend. But before we get to those, what do, what do, what do you think in your opinion makes a great girlfriend? Hmm. I mean, I've already read it so it's hard for me to give a biased answer cause I've already read this. But I'll say I agree with almost a hundred percent of what's said on there. A hundred percent. So, wow. I, yeah. Okay. So I think so no feminist type, you know, opinions happening. I'm far from being a feminist. Far from being a feminist. All right. I think if you're not, I'll give it in a very little nutshell. Okay. So if you're not super, just like. Naggy and nasty and difficult to deal with. Yeah. And you're supportive. It makes it easier for the man to love you, which in turn makes it easier for you to love him back. This is, but if you're like super na and negative and just difficult to deal with and withholding sex or just, we're gonna get into that in a little bit too in that point that you just made, but we'll get into that. Okay. Yeah, yeah. No, I, I, I, I do agree with you though cuz nobody wants to deal with a naggy person. And it could be a naggy girlfriend, a naggy boyfriend or whatever you're into. Just a naggy person itself. Someone that just basically just wants to drag. Your entire vibe down, your, your entire happiness and just makes you a miserable person. Yeah, I, I completely agree with those type of traits, it does not qualify you as a great slash good girlfriend. But this, the way that she broke this article up she broke it up basically, she said, here are the 10 attributes or 10 qualities of an Austin girlfriend. But then, oh, at the very beginning. At the very beginning, okay. And then she goes into, you know, ways to be a good girlfriend, but I kind of want to go into the top 10, this 10 that she actually went through here. And just to see, you know, when I read these off to the listeners and see and hear 'em, hopefully I get some feedback on this, right? Because, you know, guys are gonna probably gonna cheer this shit on and girls are gonna be like, what the fuck ever fuck this bitch. And actually let, let me give kudos to you and. The author's name is Mariah Phillips. So I want to give her a kudos for writing this article because I'm pretty sure she got a lot of shit after she wrote this article at the, at the public station. I don't even think it's that crazy. Like I just don't see Yeah, you, I mean, there might be, you don't think two things though. You don't think it's crazy, but a lot of females that are trying to pull this whole feminist vibe and, and that's why they're single. Well, this, but, right, but what I'm saying is that those are the ones that will probably really push back on this, these items on from this article. But let's go ahead and kind of go through and talk through some of these art qualities of how to be this awesome girlfriend. The first one should be, the first one should be a no fucking brainer. If you're faithful to him, as long as you are faithful to him, like. I get it. You want to be faithful on both sides of the coin. Right. But mm-hmm. You know, being loyal to your dude, you know, is gonna make him feel some type of way. I mean, you agree with this, right? Like it really is the pillar. I mean, I don't, I wouldn't even think that it would be on here because that seems like such something you think that should be just pretty simple. Something said. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Like, yeah, you have to breathe to live. You wanna stay in a healthy relationship, don't fuck around. Yeah. I mean, and then it goes, and that kind, and that kind of goes into number two, right? Was that you're honest and trustworthy with them. You know, it kind of goes hand in hand, faithful and, you know, trustworthiness, honestness. Yeah. So I, I think that kind of could have been together, but she did just break it down. What she say he needs to know that he can trust you, be completely honest with him. And if there's any issues needing fix and talk to him like. An ideal girlfriend. I mean, right. If you have a problem with your man, you should be able to talk to him. Just be honest with him, you know, instead of, you know, the, the whole runaround of what do you want to eat type situation. Right. You know, you know, I don't think that's what she's talking about, but No, no, no. But what I'm saying is, you know, that's, you know, typically how females will have their conversation with a guy, right. Is like, just tell us straight up what, what, what the problem is. What, what's your issue with us? And then maybe when we can adjust it instead of, you know, no, it's fine. I, I, why, what, what is your problem? No, I'm, I'm fine. I'm fine. You know that, that's what I mean. Yeah. That's what I mean by the whole passive aggressive. Yeah. Yeah. That's the whole, you know, what do you want to eat? Type scenario. That's the same exact thing. What's wrong? What's the matter? Nothing. Don't worry about it. And then you're steaming off, pissed off, rambling at your girlfriends, chewing her, you're off because. We're sitting on the couch playing a video game, which is what I've been doing the past couple days. Matter of fact, my ass has been playing an old game that I haven't played, assassins Cree, which once I start, i, I get consumed. But anyways it keeps me off the streets. Right. So what, what are you gonna say? I just, you just opened your mouth. Cause I, I definitely am not going to a bar for a good while, and I know everyone says that, but I mean, even though I'm drinking my whiskey right now, I am not pulling a back to back weekend scenario with like, with Mr. Clint Randall. And I think he even told me when, but you don't get, I don't get drunk that anyways. But he even told me when he, yeah, he got back home in Mississippi. He's like, I'm going to be comat toast for the next two days. So, but anyways, yes. So anyways, so. Faithful to him. Honest, yeah. And trustworthy to him. And then those are basics, basics. The third one, I, you know, I, I can really, I don't know, I I can go either way with this one. She mentioned having that you needed to be a God-fearing person. You know, if, if you want to have your, your, you know, religious beliefs and all that stuff, you know, do what you gotta do. You know, I don't, I don't necessarily What, what's that? I was just gonna say the way she goes into it, like, if you take the very first part of that out, you take the, as a God-fearing person and take that out, which I believe in God and all that, but when she says, you're a person with strong values and beliefs, and you can support him to make crucial decisions and lead a worthy and purposeful life, I think that is massive. And it goes both ways, but s. I think we are wired and geared, and I'm probably gonna catch a lot of shit for this, but it's okay. Cuz I'm pretty traditional in my thought processes when it comes to the role of a man and the role of a woman. Women were literally created as a supportive role. Like that's how we're wired and created. That's why we're mothers and nurturers. We play a supportive role, which means you also play that for your, your man, your husband, your boyfriend, whatever. That's the role you're supposed to play. So whatever is his purpose in life, his goals in life, his whatever makes you. We should be supportive of that and play into that. Nope. You know, if I, that's, if I remember what keypad was, the applause button, I'd be applying the little plasma button right now. But I don't remember what, what keys are assigned. So I haven't used the keypads on, on this deck here in a little while. So I'd be hitting the plot bud. There's probably a lot of the guys right now. Sheena. Sheena, you got yourself a lot. You're silly. You got yourself a lot of male friends right now. Rooting on you. Root for you. Ah yeah, no, I, I totally agree. I ca I totally agree 100% with your comments there. Next one is, you know, caring about his feelings. Believe it or not, ladies, men have feelings. We do have feelings and at times, Women can hurt our feelings. Granted, we probably don't show it. We probably suck it up cuz we're a man and we have to, we gotta keep our masculinity for the most part. We already had that conversation about masculinity, but for the most part we're gonna just absorb and absorb. But there are times where maybe more than others, that a female can get under the skin of a man and like, damn, that one actually stunk. You know, jabs at, wait, why you got fat? Why are you still, why you drinking that beer? Bobs, things like that, you know, can get, you know, just that little nag that we were talking about. But there at times, and females are the masters of the low blow jabs where they know what to say to bring a six foot four guy, 260 pounds to his knees and just, did you talk to my ex? No, well, well, okay. Perfect example. You probably had him down to his knees with low blows and stuff and you know, cuz women know how to say the right shit to make you feel like you're very insignificant in this world. You're like, fuck. And I don't know if I did it on purpose, but I would say it was funny because he was 6 4 260 pounds. But I didn't I was kind laughing at that one, like, I agree a hundred percent with it, but I was probably in my mid thirties before I realized that he had feelings, of course. But on the flip side, he never expressed them because there was never a conversation. There was never. I mean, it, there was nothing that ever, there was one time we pulled up to the house and what'd he say? Something about the Christmas lights or something, and he was like, oh, the, I don't know, he expressed a feeling and the whole car got silent and the kids turned and looked. I turned and looked. I was like, did you just expressed like a, an emotion and a feeling. So, yeah. So if you don't know that they have them, they're never expressed, well, come on. You gotta know. Everyone's got feelings. And, and for a man, we're not gonna typically express our feelings. Why? Because we're a man. We're supposed to kind of, you know, absorb everything like a sponge. But, you know, with all the talks now of all that's tough. All the, you know, the mental health stuff, it's, it's being talked about more and trying to Yeah. You know, help guys express themselves and, you know, not have to keep all that pent up feeling and stress inside, but, That doesn't make you less masculine, it just means that you know it, you finally, and women can finally understand that guys do have feelings and you know, a lot of shit that women say they don't realize they can, that they're just being caddy as fuck can actually really sting and kind of stick with a guy for a while. You know, especially the the old fucking, oh, you got a tiny penis. Those type of comments. You know, that's thing, that's things for guys that actually have the songs. They know they're being hurtful, like nobody's saying that. Yeah. Not be hurtful. Women will say just the shit just to even be spiteful to somebody. So Yeah. It, that's what I'm saying. They know they're being hurtful when they say that. Yeah. But still, they just know what they can say that will fucking just hurt a man. You know? You tell me that. I'm like, eh, okay, sure. Whatever. Well, you know, it's not true. I, I roll it off, but I mean, you know, it's whatever. So yeah, so caring about his feelings, it's a great ability. Oh, what we say it attribute of, of a female quality of a female to be a great girlfriend, listen to his problems. We don't have very many guys, we guys, we don't have a lot of problems, right? We don't, you know, we deal with our own shit, right? So we don't really express, like you just said, we don't express our feelings. So we're not typically going to express our problems to our significant other, but we do have problems. I mean, we all have problems. And that's a, that's where women sometimes feel almost rejected though. Like, we wanna be there and we want to be able to help you through whatever the issue is, or whatever you're feeling. But a lot of times a man's not going to his significant other for that. Right. So then we take it as rejection. I don't know if it, I don't know if you should take it as rejection, maybe. I don't know. Maybe I'm, I guess the way I would think it is that, you know, we don't wanna put our burdens on you. Right. We'll talk, yeah, we'll talk to our friends, you know, and have, you know, a male to male conversation. But we know we have to be that specific person for our females, and we're not gonna want to put that weight on them. Like, oh man, I don't know how this pay cut is gonna handle the household. And I gotta be able to make sure that sh my significant other girlfriend, you know, maintains this type of lifestyle that we've built, blah, blah, blah. I don't wanna make her feel like she just gotta put an extra work. You know? We want to, but I think if you're in a secure. Relationship like in a true, real relationship, you should be able to open up to your partner about that. Well, absolutely. You're with the right person. You wanna be able to have the, that communication. So, and this is why this made the list of making a great girlfriend. Yeah. Because if you exactly. Yeah. Because if you list to his problems, things are gonna go well. Also, another quality, a great quality is having, you know, an independent, I know we've, you know, this word gets thrown around good and bad. Right? Independent woman. It can, you know, some It's just being an adult. Yeah, yeah. But, but the way that it has taken by a lot of people's like, oh, I'm a strong, independent woman. Like, hear me roar. It kind of has gotten a lot of negative connotation with men. Like, oh, here we go with this bullshit. This is the whole feminist thing. Right? And, and don't get wrong. And don't get me wrong, I'm not against feminist. You know, I don't, I don't want that to be out there like that, but it is just, there is that pushback with guys like, ugh, okay. But we, we do want someone that can think for themselves. We do want someone that can make up their own mind and can hold a conversation instead of mm-hmm. Yeah. Because we know women can hold conversations. I mean, listen to women conversations with each other. They'll go on for hours about anything. Normally it's gossip and bullshit talking. But I was gonna say in conversation versus gossip are two different things. But we know that women have the ability to converse for a very long time and, but when having a conversation with your significant other, you want to be able to have that intellectual conversation, not just, yeah, the gossip stuff. You know, you wanna talk. Other stuff that's going on in the world. Any hot new hobbies, any, you know, interest and things like that. Maybe travel plans. Just, you know, making these informative decisions type deal, those type of conversations, right? Mm-hmm. And not worry about who Sally's fucking in the back room of the office, that type of shit. You know, we don't care. Let's Sally go get lead, whatever. Good for her. Yeah, good for her. Let him be. I'm not gonna have any women fans after that gonna be like, block Sheena Gray. Block Sheena Gray. Yeah. Boy, clotting me. Let him be your hero. You know, that's a man has needs to feel like a man. Like he's actually there as a savior and protector. So, you know, letting him be that protector for you makes him feel very worthy. Right. He wants mm-hmm. To know that he is, he has a role in someone's life. Because if, if, if you, if you're able to defend yourself and kick everyone else's ass, then what good is he gonna feel like in your life? Right. So he's just gonna feel like, eh, I'm still insignificant, but Yeah. Let him be a hero. That's such a simple thing. No, don't, you don't have, he doesn't have to like, what's that? I said it's sexy too. I know, right? Sexy, sexy superhero. Running around, running around the house with a super man cape or something. Or a Batman cape. Mm-hmm. Batman caper. It's Batman, cape and nothing else on, Hey. That's how I was envisioning it, the back call. Anyways, I got distracted. It's the shiny light shake my brain. But that play that plays into the whole like taking the strong independent woman thing too far. Yeah. Like, I don't need a man, da da da da da. Mm-hmm. All that stuff. Yep. So let him be your hero. I agree with that a hundred percent. That's why I was so we get sex choice, babe. I could be there. Did you hear me? What's that? You didn't hear? No. I'm sorry. I, I said that's why I was, I was trying to be a kid. That's why I was, I I heard that. That's why I was so against sex toys. But me and you got together. I never, I didn't have any toys. Yeah. And now I was like, I pay my own bills. I do all my own stuff. Why would I take away the one thing that I literally need a man for? Yeah. And look at you now almost I'm almost a profession now. All right. Anyways, yeah. Anyway. Got backfired on me. Yeah, yeah. Where are we at here? Be appreciative, you know, be appreciative of your man every now and then. Did you skip one? No. Did I? Yeah. We'll come back to that one. Yeah. So being appreciative, you know, accept him, love him. Let him know that he care or he matters to you or you appreciate things that he does for you. Taking you out to dinners, changing your tires, mowing the lawn, paying the house. Well, sometimes, you know, but today's it's, most people got multiple incomes for that one. But anyways, just the little things, you know, you know, show 'em appreciation. We want to be appreciated. Show appreciation for the little things. Yeah. Oh, like, you know, when women are like, oh, Go ahead. Sorry. No, I'm just like, oh yes, you made me orgasm 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 times in a row. We appreciate you, man. We appreciate you. You put me in a better mood. I appreciate you. That is true story. Yeah. You keep distracting me. I keep forgetting. You got, you got some sex on your brain right now? I guess so. Anyways, why was I gonna say, oh no. You hear women that are like you. Shit. My man, I'm sorry. I completely train. Wrecked your gut, your pain of thought. Are we here an intelligent, independent woman and can't fucking think. Anyways, like you hear women, they're like, he doesn't do this anymore. That anymore, da da da da da da da. I guarantee most of the men that if you asked it was never acknowledged. Whatever it was they were doing wasn't acknowledged or appreciated or whatever, so they stopped doing it. Yeah. Really true. So it could be little things. Mm-hmm. Yep. Yep. Another quality. Ladies, be kind. Be humble. It's that simple. We want you to be kind. Don't be a bitch. I mean, there's their time. There's, there's a, there's a time and place to be a bitch. And then there's a time and place to just, you know, be kind and humble. I mean, I get it. I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna sit here and say that guys are always gonna be angels. Right. But you know, And then at those points when he's being a dick, then that's, that is the perfect time that you can retaliate and be a bitch. I'm not gonna uhhuh, I'm not gonna say don't be a bitch if you, you know, it's just gotta be at the right time. You gotta, it's just, it's a even playing field when someone's a dick. You could be a bitch. So I don't know if I agree with that, but you, you're trying to say that if I was a dick to you, you wouldn't try to be a bitch back. I would try not to be. Right. But in the heat of the moment when it's a passionate debate you know, and it's getting very heated and to then I would like to take a beat and back off of it because you get in those heated conversations and you say Shit, you don't even mean. Like there's nothing good that comes out of it. So if it's getting to a point where you're reacting emotionally, then it's time to stop the conversation. Yeah. Okay. That's fine. And I guess we can put a pin in this list right here. And this would actually be a good time to mention when you had said something earlier in regards to holding out sex, because you know, a lot of arguments, you know, next thing you know is, well fuck you, you ain't getting laid for blah, blah, blah. And I know the first, one of the first conversations that we actually had was that you believe that sex should not be a bartering chip. Right? Like, don't put, if you're having an argument, don't use sex as a bartering chip and you know, explain your side and why you think that's the idea why I feel that way. Yeah. So, I mean, obviously sex can be just fucking or whatever, but sex is a big part of a relationship. Yeah. It's typically how you feel connected to one another. It's, I mean, there's a lot that goes into that. So you're now telling your partner, I don't like what you said, kind of hurt my feelings, so now I'm gonna withhold affection and love and connection from you. Like you no longer have access to me. You no longer have access to my body. I'm going to punish you. This is something you like, but now I'm gonna punish you because we're having a disagreement. Like that's just, it's childish. Yeah. You should never pulled out on sex. Yeah. Never. Plus, like never pissed, pissed off. Sex can be really, really good. Mm-hmm. I think those are some of the great songs actually, because. It's almost like a no holds bar. Like you are actually just, just engulf with some raid. You are that, that sex like after you break up. Ooh, that's that's some of the best sex for the world. Well, we'll get to that. Just one second. But I was gonna say was that that argument, sex is just, you're, you're just taking out your rage. You're just pounding away and just taking out all your energy until, so maybe I need to be a bitch. Piss you off. Yeah. Shit. Now you made me lose my train of thought. Yeah. Don't be a bitch, that's all I'm gonna say. Don't be a bitch. But yes. So I always thought when we had that conversation that that was always a very interesting point, is never use sex as a battery tool. I just don't think in a relationship you should start putting walls up and that's exactly what you're doing. Like in do. Do you think if I, do you think though, if that was a constant situation, do you think that at some point resentment starts coming in like, okay, you don't want to have sex with me. Do you think that's when bad decisions start to happen? Like, alright, you wanna hold out on me? Oh yeah. You wanna hold out on me? Just cause you just, you got pissed off cuz I didn't wanna buy you a pair of those Louis Baton shoes that you wanted and you wanna hold out on sex. Oh, well then I'm from that person. Well, I'm just using that as an example, you know? Yeah. But what I'm saying is, you know, that's how you know bad shit can tend to kind of start deteriorating that relationship. Right. But it's not gonna just affect. Your physical relationship with one another, it's gonna spill into everything. And now you're both irritable cuz you're not having sex. So you're both irritable. So now everything's a thing. The trash not being taken out, the counter being dirty, the fucking dog barking whatever it is now everything's a thing. And now for maybe one of the other people, other people are starting to look a hell of a lot more attractive because that person was nice to you. Mm-hmm. Like I think it just spirals. I think it's a whole thing, but at the core of it, I just think withholding and putting that blockage there is just silliness. Super silly. Now if I'm like, okay, we're in the middle of a fight and I am not feeling like I want to give affection in this moment, that's a different story, right? Yeah. That I wouldn't consider that withholding like. But yeah. What's funny when talking about not having sex for so long, I, I was listening to the guys over at the Daily BM today, their episode that dropped. They had like I mentioned, they had a special guest MMA fighter. Her name was, I, I started following her because the, the conver, the actual episode was really good. Jessica Borga, she made a comment on there and said that if she didn't have sex for 30 days, she was going to jail. And I kind of forgot how the conversation was, came stemming around, but she's like, yeah, if I don't have sex for 30 days, I'm going to jail. Which is, I mean, it's just funny. It is just how people can react. You know? That's something that you need to have in your relationship. So folks, yeah, don't hold out. Specifically cuz I don't think you ever heard of a guy say, I'm gonna hold out on sex for 30 days, or I'm gonna hold out on sex cuz you pissed me off. It's not gonna happen. I don't think I, I may have joked a few times like, you ain't getting dicked, but if you come grab it in my dick. Yeah. It's like, all right, whatever. Go ahead. Go ahead girl. You can have that shit. It's, it's a guy, guy's not strong enough to hold that back. So I saw something that was funny the other day. It was like, you know, a woman telling a guy, no, I got a headache, blah, blah, blah. Mm-hmm. And y'all just like take it on the chin. Right. But then if y'all tell us no, it's like World War, the fucking three apart. Mm-hmm. What you mean? You ain't trying to fuck this right now? What do you, who, who are you fucking then why? What's her name? If you ain't trying to, if you ain't fucking me, you gotta be fucking someone else. Yeah. Trust me, we know where that goes. Oh damn. Yeah. Okay. Okay. It's, those are real, those are real scenarios. I can tell. Might not be from you. Some behind that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyways one, one of the last qualities here that she, you know, highlighted was Be's best friend. You know, that is probably like, that should be number two. Really under the, be honest with him, right? Or be faithful to him being his best friend. If, if you know, you and him are like one of the guys, and you guys can shoot the shit laugh, talk about your hobbies, talk about your passions, just, just be buddies and lovers at the same time. Guys, that's your jackpot right there. That's your unicorn. You know, that's, that's, this is how you're gonna keep that. Isn't that how it's supposed to be? It's supposed to be this way, but it doesn't become this way because. You know, out of these, out of these, what 10 dis these 10 highlights of the qualities here. I think most women might have one, two, maybe three out of the 10. In a typical relationship, you might have the faithful to him for a while, for a while until, oh, until he does something wrong and pisses you off. Then all of a sudden you want to go make bad decisions being spiteful. So, maybe, maybe the appreciative every now and then you know, because he bought you something. I would think that would be at the bottom. I think most women aren't very appreciative about, they're appreciative when you're out taking their shopping sprees. I mean, they can get appreciative and that probably sounds sexist as hell, but but yeah, I mean that's, that's, that's a tendency when you kind of get. An appreciation from a woman is because you're spoiling her at this point. Right. Showing her off and getting, like, being spoiled with your dick. Yeah. Saying, well, you like being spoiled a different way. So. Mm-hmm. Anyway, so, geez, we're already at, we're already at the 45 minute market and we're not even, we're, we're not gonna even get through this list. So what I want to do is I'll run through the 30 ways like I said, okay. Cause we already went through 10, so I'm just gonna run through 'em. And then we will have some side conversations out there. So be faithful. Again, we already heard that. Be his encourager, appreciate him, attend to his needs, build, wait, build upon his dream. What's that? Number four is huge. Well, yeah. We'll, we'll let me run through this and then we'll come back. Okay. So keep your comments to yourself, ladies and gentlemen. Please keep your hands down until the conver the speech is over. 10 to his needs. Build up his dreams. Allow him to be your hero. Listen to him. Respect his privacy. Eh, remember, remember that one. Sing out his praises. Eh, feed him. Be a kind soul. Stop nagging. Surprise him. Appreciate his friends. That's a big one as well. We'll get to that in a second. Never. You said accept. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, sorry. Accept his friends, which is a huge thing. Never, ever flirt with other guys. Eh, that could be, that. We can come onto that one a little bit later. Be extra nice to his parents. Compliment his male ego. Be an instrument of optimism in his life. Share his interest. Be an independent woman. Build upon emotional connectivity. Be physically attractive. Spice up his love life. Never spill his secrets, never take him for granted. Share your feelings honestly. Be his dream partner. Keep him fit and healthy. Love him unconditionally and again, be his best friend. So I know I went through that quickly and I know we have a few that we want to hit on here in a second. But let me tell you, when you hear this list, and I'm pretty sure the way I read that, and the female listeners are gonna be like, are you fucking kidding me? That's like trying to be everything. Like we're not a perfect couple. I'm like, yeah, we know everyone's not a perfect couple. But this again, is just a female who wrote this and said, this is how you can be a great slash good girlfriend, and we'll even put spouse in there. Because this list to me, this is like, this should be like the 10 Commandments right here. Let's make this bitch the 30 commandments. I really enjoyed this article. Granted, there is one that is for how to be a good boyfriend, but we will discuss that list a different day. But I just wanted to really emphasize that this became one of my favorite articles to read. So, okay, so let's go. All right, so let's go back to, cuz you know, I, and I got a whole list of questions that I was gonna run through with you as well, but we'll see where we're go. That's the nature of this show. We see where exactly where we end up. So you said you thought attending to his needs was a a big one and elaborate. I think that's huge. Okay. So here's my perspective on this. Your man is going out into the world. He's working, he's doing all the whatever, he's being the provider, protector, blah, blah, blah. Fulfilling his role as a man. So when he's at home at the end of the day and done with all of that, he's l literally trying to figure out how to word this where I'm not completely hated. Just that is sit the woman's role though. Sit. Sit. That is the woman's roll. Sit him on the couch, bring him a beer, slay him back, take off his pants and suck his dick. That's how you take care of a good man coming home from a hard day of work. And then I promise you, ladies, he will fuck the shit outta you. And take care of you. If that's how he is greeted when he comes home, he does not want, Amanda does not want to come home and immediately where you've been, motherfucker, it's, it is. Yeah, it is. 20 minutes past the time you should have been home. Who are you fucking, you know, a guy does not wanna come home to this bullshit. A guy wants to come home. Especially a lot of the blue collar workers, right, who are building America, who are putting their hearts and souls in making a living and coming home exhausted. They're the ones making the roads better. They're the ones waking up at three o'clock in the morning just to get to this job, and they probably are just hate in life, but they know it has to be done. They come home 14, 15 hours later, work workday, come home and just want to relax. Cold beer, a meal, his dick suck, and his woman to love on him, just being appreciative of what he's doing. Yes. Now, as long as he continues to be appreciative of the things that you're doing for him and he's treating you right, blah, blah, blah. Mm-hmm. I mean, this is all off of the assumption of a good man. Yes. When I say absolutely. Yeah, no, I agree. It's all on that assumption. But you're, because there are fucking douche bags out there, so, you know, with douche bags who will treat a woman like shit. Yeah. We're not talking about those guys. We're talking about the genuinely good guys who do right by their ladies. Right. And just are just that guy. Yeah. Fuck those guys who are assholes and just destroy them. You know, a good name for a typical guy. Those are the guys that give us decent guys a bad fucking name. And so, and it makes it, I'll say it does, and I'll try to be quick with that, but it makes it difficult. I'll say in my first marriage, like I was. I'll have his lunch made, his clothes will be ready, like I will be the best that I possibly can and do all these things that a wife is supposed to do. And it, it, none of it was appreciated. It was a bunch of, it was awful, horrible, horrible marriage. So it's very hard to continue to want to be what, you know, a good woman is supposed to be to a man when you go through that. So I think it depends of where you are in life too. When you meet a woman, she's like, well, this motherfucker did all this shit. I don't wanna, but I think other people shouldn't change who you. Nope. Complete. You don't stop doing good things because of what other people did. Nope. Completely agree. And two, you shouldn't go into a relationship if you're still carrying extra baggage from a pri previous relationship. You need to Oh yeah, yeah. You need to take care of that shit before you even try to establish a new relationship with someone else. Mm-hmm. Building upon the dream, I think you both should be building a dream. What's the point of being together if you're not Well, so it's funny you bring that up. Cause I, one my question that I was gonna ask you was, when I came down to that was what was, what's a a great way that you think, or what's your favorite way that you can actually support your significant other in his dreams and goals? How can you support him and his dreams and goals? What, what would be one of your favorite? What, yeah, like what, what would you do and how would you show your support in one's dream? Well, I would have to know what it is though. I mean, doesn't matter what it is, it's, it's this guy's streams and goals, right? I mean, well, because it depends on what I need to do to help make that happen. Do I need to make more money so I can invest money into whatever that goal is? Is the research that I need to do for that goal? Do you need me to just be a listening ear? Do we as a couple, make sacrifices so that that goal can be reached? It depends on what the goal is. Have you ever had a male have your dreams and goals put to the side for his goals and dreams? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was your scenario? Yeah. Or do you wanna talk about it? I don't really wanna talk about it. Oh, okay. But I'm not a lawyer right now, so we'll just leave it at that. Okay. All right. So I gotcha. I've had that happen in both of my long term relationships. Yeah. Which is why the list I went over with you when we first met was important to me. Yeah, no, you shouldn't. You should never, and I actually saw this on a friend's story yesterday. She had put up a question, you know, let, after, I think she was up to 6,000 followers now, and she's like, let's get to know each other, blah, blah, blah. So I went through a lot of people asking her questions and I guess someone was asking her what's one of her biggest regrets? And she said having a relationship dictate her career or stop her career or pause her career or something to that effect. So, hmm. I'm actually, I'm actually gonna try to see if I can get her on lemme see if I can schedule her on. She's huge into into CrossFit and stuff, but I. You know, and she's a, a nurse at night, so it's kind of, the schedules would be very hard to try to line up. But anyways, I thought that was interesting. Now one of the ones I kind of said I wanted to come back to was, and I thought is a huge thing, especially in being a great girlfriend, is accepting his friends. When you come into a relationship, everyone's gonna have their clique of friends. You're gonna have your small circle of friends, but then you also have your bigger ring of, you know, your acquaintance friends that you see every so often. But everyone has that small five friend type click, right? Maybe smaller, not everybody. Yeah, mine. Mine is, mine is about a five person deep click. That those are, but when I say that, I'm talking about, those are the guys that I can call on anytime of the night. Those are the guys that if I ever got into some issues that I gotta do, just say the word and they're there. Those, those are what I'm talking about. It's my, my friends. Granted, some of the personalities of my friends aren't the same as mine. And you know, that can clash when you start dating someone, right? And all of a sudden this, your new girlfriend or whatever can be, you know, a bitch about it and say, you know what? I don't like his I don't like, I don't like your friends. You're hanging out with, I, I think they're not good for you and, but Ian, these could be friends that you've had for 20 years or whatever. But it's a huge thing cuz then all a sudden a guy's put in a situation like, listen, these are my friends, these are my people. You know, if you can't get along with my friends, then I don't know if we can get along because I need to know that. Yeah. You know? Yes. I'm not fucking my friends, but what I'm, I need to know that you and my friends can get together. So when we do things with, when we do things, compatibility well, yeah, absolutely. So if from the get-go, she's like, ah, I don't like your friends. That's like huge to me. That's a huge red flag. That's like, she's already asking to leave. Like, she's like, Hey, can you show me the door? Yep. But Garrett already said that is a huge red flag already for me. Like, mm. All right. So you don't like my friends And I like to hang out with them as often as I can. I'm not talking about like every weekend, but you know, when I get to, you know, we, we have, we've gotten older. Our weekends, if you start counting thinking about it, we don't have a lot of weekends left in our lives. Right? I mean, we got, we're at the halfway part of our year of our life. So, you know, those, those weekends become more and more meaningful. So, you want to enjoy 'em with your friends and you want to be able to enjoy with your significant other, but when you don't accept his friends and that's just gonna be a whole problem. That's back to you feeling fulfilled and all that. Like, I think it would be odd for a man not to go out and be with his friends. Yeah. No, it's, you have to like go do that. Go, go be a dude with your dudes. Go do that. Yeah. That, that's especially true because even when I had I wanna say this was in their early episodes, it was one of, actually one of my better episodes that ranked really well. When I had my friends Kyle and Andrea Mar they'd been married forever. They high school sweethearts went to college together and they still are married and all that good stuff. But one of the things that they mentioned even on that cast was that they have guy nights that, you know, he goes out with his guys so many times a night or you know, monthly or whatever, and she goes her female trips as well. And they do like legit trips. Like she travels with her girlfriends and he travels with his buddies. They'll do golf trips or whatever, but they have their female and they got their male times. You know, you gotta, you know, as long as you have that, that itself, bam. Another quality of. You know, being that perfect partner, it's just what it is. Yeah. I don't care. Expect their people, what the friends are, what their sex are, whether it's having a guy's night or whatever, or like, that goes both ways because if, you know, if the guys, if the guys are gonna have a strip club night, the girls can go have a strip club night and go, go to the Chippendale. You know, go, go, go do what you gotta do. Get it all out. Because why? Because by the time you come back to the house, guess who's getting late? This guy here just sitting back waiting, whatever. I would probably be so drunk that I'd be like, well, yeah. I mean, I, I guess I, I mean, get you a few Long Island iced teasing. Yeah. We, we, we understand. Anyways, I'm surprised you haven't gone back to this one. What's that? The respect his privacy. I mean, that should be. Already known, right? Like, didn't we just have the conversation with going through the phones and, you know, going, you know, that, you know, looking, or maybe it was, or maybe it was an article, maybe it was an article I just wrote for the whiskey blog. I'm not sure if it posted yet. Or maybe it has, I, I don't know if it's like I wrote somebody those articles already. Okay. Yeah. It's because I'm staying busy with it, right? So I just can't remember what I've already said. If it was a conversation or if it was an article that I've written. But I think it was to the effect of if you're having to go through your partner's phone, you're already very insecure about things and you're not respecting the privacy to that effect. You know? Or you probably already know, or you probably already, already know. Cases are, if a woman's going through your fa well, I'll say there's women that do it. Like it was a, like, it's a thing. I knew a couple. Where it was her nightly ritual. Mm-hmm. She came home from work, grabbed his phone, and then just started going through it. And I'm like, Ugh. But you know what's funny is we actually had this conversation here. I was like, we're talking about our Instagram feeds and I'm like, you know, if you open my Instagram feed, I'll tell you what, right now you will see I'm on integrated feed. You will see a bunch of half naked chicks Instagram chicks do. And right now, I don't know, and I mentioned this before, I don't know what the trend is right now. This was on the last episode. We talked about this on the last, yeah, it was the whole sheer thing. But yeah, you will look at my, well, and I showed you my, yeah. And I showed you my Instagram. So I, it's like I don't have nothing to hide. I've, yes, I've done my dirt and mi in my past Instagram. What ins instant? If you're in, if you're insecure about Instagram, if you were checking your man's phone and you were insecure about some bitch that he liked on Instagram, That he doesn't know where she actually even lives. And there's a gazillion other people already in her inbox. Mm-hmm. If you think your dude actually has a chance, you have more mental problems than going through somebody's phone. You know what's funny is I also realize that Instagram can be a sly son of a bitch too. Instagram can be a little narc on you as well, because Uhoh. Huh? Bec I said Uhoh. Yeah, li So listen to this, because you can sometimes scroll through these images and next thing you know, you can see who, if you happen to be friends and the other, your friends happen to like this, we can see if they like this, you can see it. Mm-hmm. So if you happen to like me and you, when we're together a lot, you know, it, it, it, it knows our proximity, so it knows All right, so they're close to each other, blah, blah, blah. This is my, these might be friends you might wanna look at as well if your significant other is looking at stuff. So it will actually show, you know, sometimes what your significant other or your person who you're around all the time is liking as well. Instagram is slick. I've noticed it because every now and then I'll come across like, cuz you're with me quite a bit now. I'll see sometimes like by Sheena Gray, like by Sheena Gray. I'm like, whatever. It's only on the island boys pictures. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm talking about really? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Instagram is slick. Instagram can be you're fucking narc at the same time. Like if you're trying to be sly, you gotta watch out guys. Cuz if you're on the slide trying to like all these photos you will see sometimes come across like, like by so and so. Cuz I'll see, ironically I'll see a lot of my friends on there and they're significant other as well. Viking, the same photos and it's just so funny cuz I'm like, I know. I mean, I see it, but it's on stuff that like, we follow the same, no, but no, this is follow the same. I see it and I see it with my kids's, so stuff that they follow up. But it's just so weird how Instagram you can be like, like you pointed out the other day on my phone, the the, the, what's that shit, the Facebook dating app? Like, I don't even have that thing, but yet they put a little fucking Facebook heart on the bottom of my damn thing and I'm, and you are like, well this is interesting. I'm like, I never even had, this is not even look. And we open up, it's like it's fucking, nothing's there. I don't know why I was just giving you shit. No, I know. Let's be clear on that. So what I'm saying is these, these apps can get you into some shit. Like, so if, well that's what I told you, the Facebook dating popped up on as an icon on my Facebook when I was still with my ex. I remember sitting in bed and I open, I was like, what is that? And I was like, what the fuck? Like he was sitting right beside me. I'm like, that could have turned into a whole. Yep. Shit show. No. And, and so that just, no, before we get ready to wrap it up, that just kind of goes to show, you know, respect in your person's privacy because shit like that can pop up, be like, oh, what the fuck? And then somebody's looking over your shoulder looking at, ah-huh, what is that? You know, that can just, social apps, they're your friends and they can also be your fucking narcs, I tell you that right now. So. Yeah. Well, and I, I mean, we've talked about it before. I guess there's like trends of when you first go back to a guy's place or whatever, and like going through his medicine cabinet, going through his drawers. Hmm, what the fuck? That still just blows my mind. I guess it's a normal thing, but that just blows my fucking mind. Yeah, I mean, you know, I guess you want to make, see if he's crazy or not. I mean, I, I could see, you know, I don't, I'd never done it, but I can see why people would go through to see what kind of medicine some people are taking. Like are they fucking loony or what? So I have never done it, but I mean, I. I, I could see why people are going through somebody's cabinets. It's weird, but it's whatever. Yeah, no. So with that, let's go ahead and wrap things up here because I want to leave this on a happy note that this was so far one of my favorite articles to read that you sent me from marriage.com. Like I said, guys, I will post this link in the show notes so that way you can actually read it yourself. And ladies take notes if you wanna be that per it's really good. Yeah. If you wanna be that perfect spouse, girlfriend, take notes and I can promise you just change a few things in your life and this can get you in the right path to be in that perfect relationship that you always wanted. With that being said, I do want to make the announcement that we did pick up. Right. You know, another affiliate partner sponsor cigar page. They are providing a intro to the show. They're given a 10 cigar sampler packet of Olivier Cigars sample packet. It's retailed at 59 99 with my promo code of whiskey D 23. You get it for 29 99. I actually put it on Instagram stories, but I'll actually put it in the show links so that way you can go click it, get put the promo code in there and get you 10 cigars for 10. Good cigars for 29 99 guys. With that also being said, if you guys enjoy this episode, please rate, review, subscribe to whatever platform that you're on. Follow us on our socials, whiskey and uncensored on IG and Facebook. And as always, check us out on the website, whiskeydanduncensored.com, check out the whiskey blog that's actually doing really well and that's gonna say, that's keeping me busy. So there's content everywhere. Yeah. This one he teaches you how to hook up. Yeah. The most recent one is talking about casual sex. So make sure you guys go out and read it. And then the after hours, I'm slowly adding the blog behind the firewall. So if you're too lazy to read and you want to hear the audio version of it, it is behind the subscription wall. So that is out there under the after hours with the bonus episodes. So again, Sheena, do you have anything before we head outta here? No, just I think that or yes, I think it's a great list and I think if women stop trying to be so, hmm. Prideful. There you go. Not let that card go. So prideful, let let go of your egos, ladies. Let go of your egos. Alright guys, so keep drinking your whiskeys and enjoy your life and we're out.