Embrace Life's Unpredictability: Finding Happiness by Letting Go of Control

Are you tired of feeling like you need to control every aspect of your life? Discover how liberating it can be to release that grip and embrace the beauty of life's unpredictability. We explore the often elusive nature of control and why managing our own thoughts and feelings can lead to a more fulfilling existence. By letting go of the need to control others—be it partners, children, or friends—we open ourselves up to a realm of freedom, creativity, and genuine happiness. Empathetic individuals, in particular, may find this conversation enlightening as we discuss the burdens of trying to manage others' emotions.

Listen as we flip the script on happiness, shifting from control to savoring life's offerings. The small joys, like the comforting warmth of the sun or the refreshing scent of freshly cut grass, hold the key to enhancing our well-being. We encourage letting go of past resentments and regrets to focus instead on what truly matters—how often we laugh, smile, and express love. By engaging mindfully with the world around us, we can learn to appreciate unexpected moments of joy and gratitude. Join us on this journey to simplify life and find happiness in the present.

Hypnotherapy coaching sessions can help if you are struggling with anxiety.  Please email us at englishsisters@gmail.com if you would like help with an issue, mentioning this episode of our podcast for a special discounted rate. We work with clients worldwide over Zoom or Skype. Buy our Book Stress Free in Three Minutes available on Amazon and Kindle, to help support our work. Thank you!

Love and smiles from The English Sisters.

Watch the show on our YouTube  Channel
Follow us on Social Media
Share this podcast with your friend

#anxietyrelief #mentalhealth #mind #health #selfcare #anxiety #simplelife #emotions #psychology

Chapters

• 0:00 Letting Go of Control for Happiness
• 10:01 Finding Happiness Through Letting Go

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Control, control and how to let go of it. And why would we want to let go of control when we feel so good, sometimes, when we are being in control, when we're in control, yes, when everything's going as planned? Yeah, I know, but sometimes, if you let go, there'll be benefits. There'll be a lot of benefits in letting go, definitely letting go. That's what we're gonna be chatting about and talking about in this week's episode on get real with the english sisters. Come and say hi on youtube, too, because we've got the video version there too, and on instagram, and you can actually see us in our matching outfits. Yes, I mean, I I think it's a tricky one, isn't it? Because most of us do feel better when we're in control. Yes, yes, yes, we do as we can. But really, you know what is control? How can we really control? We can't control, you see, no, and life is so unpredictable. There are so many things that are just out of our control that sometimes we just want to have you know the things that we think we can control. We want to control, yeah, and, and I mean, what can we control? Maybe we should start with that. What can we control? What can we truly control? Yeah, I mean, I think the only true, the only thing that we can truly control is our own person ourselves. Well, yeah, if we have the capability of controlling our mind, then that's already a massive, huge step, isn't it? Most of us aren't completely there yet, and you know, and being able to control our mind in the sense that we can manage it, manage it, yeah, not control it, but manage our thoughts and our feelings, that's a big deal already that that would be amazing if we could do that at least of that aspect of your life, because the rest of it, whether you have children, whether you have partners, you can't really control what they do or what you know. You can up to a certain extent, like with with children, you can say, okay, I've got this control over you, bedtime or tv screen time, etc. But there's so much of it that you can't control and you shouldn't have to, you shouldn't have to. You know, it's just it, it becomes too much.

Speaker 1: 2:41

I think, yeah, and I think the more you let go and realize that you're you, you know you're not in control of those things and you don't have to be and you don't have to be the more free you, you, you are and the more free your mind is to be like creative and just to be happier and and and live like a more simple life. Because when you are feeling that you have to control these things, in the end it just it just bogs you down, it totally bogs you down in your mind. It just becomes overwhelmed with all the things that you feel that you have to control that and you feel you have to. You know, sometimes it's even like feeling that you have to make your partner happy. Yeah, for example, because you know they're not in a good place right now. They might be feeling a bit, they might be unemployed or feeling depressed, not happy where they are in their job or etc. Etc. And so it becomes like you think, okay, I want to, I want to make them happy, and you feel as if you have to. You feel that, okay, I'll take them here and I'll do this for them and I'll do that for them. What you're really doing is you're trying to control how they're feeling, which is something that is out of your control. So the more you realize it's not really in your control, it's not your responsibility in your control, it's not your responsibility. It's your responsibility to be kind, generous, empathetic, to listen and to be a lovely partner in every possible way, but it's not your responsibility to be able to control how their mind is completely feeling, is it? And and that can happen to people that are very empathic yeah, that can happen.

Speaker 1: 4:24

You know, sometimes it's more women that take on these things, but sometimes it's just sensitive people that tend to want to control everything. Yeah, and I don't even think they see it as that, they want to control it. They don't realize it is control, no, realizes that. They just think it's like being helpful. Yeah, being helpful. Yes, they consider it. I'm just helping them, I'm just.

Speaker 1: 4:48

But what you are actually trying to do is, you know, is it's it's controlling and, and perhaps it's not helpful, yeah, sometimes it might not be helpful, it might be the opposite of helpful, because that person just needs their space and by by trying to, like, put them in a good mood or take them, in the end you might even be making them feel worse. Exactly, you don't really know. Yes, it is a tricky one, but you know that we, we do know that in general, trying to be in control of everything just doesn't work out in life. It's not a good thing to try and do, you will become overwhelmed.

Speaker 1: 5:29

So if you're at this point in your life when you say, okay, ah, you know you, you feel like you're trying to control everything and things are slipping away from you because you know that the partner's not happy, the kids aren't doing their homework on time, they're not getting the grades that you would like them to get. You know, whatever you you're, you didn't pass the test and it went wrong and you didn't get whatever you were supposed to get. You know, these are just these are. These are things that you've got to think about and say, okay, this is how things are going now in my life and perhaps there's, maybe there's even a reason for that. You know, perhaps it's a sign for you to say, okay, let me just let go of these things that I can't control.

Speaker 1: 6:22

Yeah, I think in life we're all on a journey here and that's always constant obstacles and things that come our way. And I think the more we let go of them and just say, ok, whatever will be, will be. Obviously, take action when you need to, but just have this more philosophical, just more laid-back attitude to it, the easier life becomes. And the more we find attitude to it, the easier life becomes and the more we we find that we have the resilience to to keep going and move forward. Well, yes, exactly, yeah, exactly it's because it's gonna like the opposite of what we think. Exactly.

Speaker 1: 6:57

You think, no, the more I'm in control, the more I can control everything. I can control health. You cannot to a certain extent. Then there are things that happen to you, your loved ones. They get, you know, these illnesses that you would say, no, I would never want them to get, but they get them anyway. And you feel as if, oh, I can control that, or your partner leaves you or you leave them, and you've done everything you can to make this relationship work, but it just doesn't. You can't control it. You have to let it go. When the time is right, when you've got that gut feeling, you've got to listen to that. It's the wisdom, isn't it? It's an inner wisdom, that's it. It's the inner wisdom that will come up and say you know, sometimes we're trying to control everything else and what we're doing is we're suppressing this inner wisdom that really tells us exactly what we should be doing. Yeah, yeah, that's, that's, that's right. You know, you've got to stop and just allow those words to come into your mind. Listen to what you know you have to do. Yeah, you know, and that can be difficult if you're always somebody that wants to be in control.

Speaker 1: 8:13

Yeah, I found that when I was more stressed, I really needed to control everything, like control exactly what the house looked like, make sure everything tidy, there's no kiddie toys around. I remember that, yeah, my mum and dad were sick, and the more I tried to control everything, the more stressed I would get, the more I would find I was shouting, and maybe shouting at my kids, which afterwards made me upset and the more when I just listened to just take a deep breath, and I learned these tools and I just take a deep breath and smile and just think, okay, there's chaos around me. Who cares? You know, nothing is going to be there tomorrow as well, like what our mom used to say the dust will always be there tomorrow. It's not going to just disappear. And, uh, you know, in the end, that's.

Speaker 1: 9:00

All that really matters is that you know you love the people around you and that you try and make the most of every moment that you've got, and I think that's that's the inner wisdom that comes. That is age, yes, yes, yeah, with age, you realize that you can't. You can't control life anyway, because it throws these curveballs at you and things happen that you would never expect. And I think that also all the stuff that we get thrown at us all the time on social media and the internet and everything it's always telling us to try and control the way we want to look oh, my goodness, control, control, the aging, control, controlling everything. For goodness sake, my goodness me, let's do the opposite. Let's just let go of it all. Let go of caring so much about how we look all the time and the wrinkles and the house.

Speaker 1: 10:01

Instead of thinking like how do you look, you just think have I had a good time? Have I smiled? How do I went out? How do I feel today? How long is it that I've actually had a laugh, a laugh, a real laugh, where you know, one of those barely, yes, a real laugh? How long has it been?

Speaker 1: 10:22

Those are the important things. You know. Those are really, really important and we tend to forget them. We tend to not control those things. I want to control how much laughter I have today. Yeah, no, we're not. Let's turn it around. And you know, go and control those things. Yes, they would be good to control, they would be the important things to control. How much have I smiled today, how much, you know, by the end of the day, when I actually close my eyes and go to sleep, can I remember one nice thing that happened to me today? Can I remember one good feeling? Or am I overwhelmed by feelings of, oh, I didn't do that and I forgot to do this and this didn't go in as planned. Oh, my goodness me. Yes, we've, we've got to learn to let go of these things, because life will, will, take us by surprise. Anyway, it will, it will. It's inevitable. It starts like that. Some of us realize it sooner than later because we have unexpected things that happen to us. You know, and you realize it, that it's not going to go as planned, it's not going to be as you decide it to be.

Speaker 1: 11:37

I remember when I was like 25, I already wanted to have a kid and then, no way, that didn't happen. Happen, no way. I went on a massive fertility journey, you know, and I had to wait. I had to wait for five years, go through trying to adopt, etc. Fever, and a whole, a whole series of things happened and I realized, wow, this is what life is. Yeah, and I can't control. I can't control it, my goodness, you know, I try to. I try to control it. I thought, oh okay, no, now you go to a doctor and then this will happen. Nope, it doesn't happen. It's not going to happen that way.

Speaker 1: 12:17

There are lessons to be learned and and so on. All throughout, you know, my lifetime, I've learned that. Yeah, I've learned that I have to let go. I have to let go because otherwise you're just waiting for the next thing and the next appointment and the next. You have to let go of it. Yeah, you have to learn to live in between moments. Yeah, it's a skill, but you can learn to do it. You can learn to try and control how much you laugh, how much you love, how many cuddles you give. Yeah, those are the things that those are really, yes, so important. Let's say, the people that kiss their husbands or partners goodbye in the morning live a lot longer, really. Well, there you go. So there it. That that's important, that's important.

Speaker 1: 13:09

How much you touch her hands, how much you hold hands. I mean, you know, not touch hands, I'm generally go, but yes, these are important things to control how much you know you notice things around you that are not just bad. You know, how much do you notice how green the leaves are today, or that rain, warm sunshine is on your skin, how it feels, how they look. These are things mindful moments, yes, and and you know, throughout our lifetime we've learned that these are the important things to look out for. These are the things that you can control in the day. You can think okay, today I will notice this, I will notice how soft the carpet feels against my feet or how fresh that the scent of, you know, cut grass smells out, what that smell is. You know, you can notice those things. You can control small things like that. They can make you happy.

Speaker 1: 14:11

Things that you control. Yes, exactly, good at you, can be very good at them nice, slow breathing, so that your body, you know, has loads of lovely, fresh oxygen. Yes, indeed, yes indeed, control, control those things and let go of others old, old feelings, resentment, old habits yeah, resentments, regrets, regrets start from today. Let go of them. Let go of old anger that you build up, let go of blaming your parents for everything, let go of feeling guilty because perhaps you didn't parent the way you wanted to, or whatever it was. Or or blaming your parents for your stuff yeah, that's happening to you now. Just let go, let go of it all and you definitely live, you'll have a better day. You'll certainly have a better day. If you let go of the outcome and you just do, do, do and do your best, you're gonna have a good day. You really are. You really are. Yes, yeah, absolutely. Let us know what you think of letting go If you feel as if you have to control everything, maybe because you're particularly feeling stressed or anxious.

Speaker 1: 15:37

Yeah, I think you know it does come with the territory. It does indeed, you know, try and maybe just take a few of these suggestions on board and see how controlling how much you laugh today or how much you know how many smiles you give, and you, you'll probably end up feeling a lot better. You will, yes, we certainly do. Lots of love and smiles from the english sisters. Please do give us a comment and follow us and please rate, give us a 5 star review on Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts, because it helps our podcast grow and we are growing. So thank you so much for listening and following. Love and smiles again. Bye, bye.