(#61) Calm & Regulated Parents with Leanne Tran

Two sides of guest interview - what they do and their zone of genius and the mindset around creating and starting their business.

Today I throw this out to Psychologist Leanne Tran.

Leanne is a registered psychologist who began her career working with children and families, and has loved it ever since. Families see Leanne for assessments to understand Autism, ADHD, Specific Learning Disorders among other things.

She has found that there are always people waiting to access support, especially in rural areas. As a result Leanne provides online information for parents about what children need for development, how this can be adapted for kids developing differently, and practical implementation strategies.

We covered:

💼 How she started her business and found her niche and focus as a psychologist
🧘‍♂️ Why it is important for parents to be calm and regulated
🛠️ The tools Leanne uses to stay cool, calm and collected with 3 kids of her own
🔄 The changes she is seeing within society around parenting and modeling
📚 What children are teaching parents
🏫 Her thoughts around the current systems including schooling and children's needs
👩‍👧‍👦 Teaching their parents they too can support their kids and themselves

Have to say on a side note - I LOVED our conversation. I left feeling so buzzed and grateful to have spent that time talking to Leanne. I know that if I need some parenting support, Leanne has a great podcast called Parent like a Psychologist.

I’ll be appearing on Leanne podcast Parent like a Psychologist in a few months, stay tuned for that fun episode!

Happy Listening!

Connect with Leanne:

💖 Instagram - @leannetranpsychology
💖 Leanne's Facebook
🌐 Check out Leanne's Website
🎙️ Podcast: Parent like  Psychologist

🌸Watch out for her free webinar series on ADHD coming up!

Want a guide on how to connect with your kids? DM the word "CONNECTION" on Leanne’s Instagram account!

Australian Childhood Foundation -  Bringing up great kids

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Transcript

0:01

Hello, hello, and welcome to Alchemy Mindset. I'm your host, Anna Hasty, business mindset coach for women and a sound healer. If you are ready to become the most aligned, magnetic, and confident business woman you are worthy and deserving of being, visit Then this show is for you. This is where I share everything from mindset energy and spirituality And how to embody your future self in business and life Sprinkle that with deeply relaxing sound healings and meditations And you have the alchemy mindset podcast Hit subscribe so you always get the latest episode. Now let's begin. Hello, hello, dear listener, and welcome to this episode of the Alchemy Mindset podcast. I am your host, Anna Hasty, and it's such a pleasure to have you listening to today's episode. Now, when I record a guest interview, quite often there are two sides of the interview that I love to dive into with my guest. Firstly, what do they do and what's their zone of genius? And secondly, their mindset around creating and starting their business. In other words, were there any challenges, were there any insights or learnings that they experienced within their mindset in starting and establishing their business? And today I throw out these two main questions. To psychologist Leanne Tran. Leanne is a registered psychologist who began her career working with children and families and has loved it ever since. Families see Leanne for assessments to understand autism, ADHD, specific learning disorders, among other things. She has found that there are always people waiting to access support, especially in rural areas. As a result, Leanne provides online information for parents about what children need for development and how this can be adapted for kids developing differently and practical implementation strategies. So in this episode, Leanne and I got busy talking about how she started her business and found her niche and focus as a psychologist, why it is important for parents to be calm and regulated, the tools Leanne uses to stay cool, calm, and collected with three kids of her own. The changes she sees within society around parenting and modelling, what children are currently teaching their parents, and her thoughts around the current systems including schooling and children's needs, and why she believes it's so important to teach the parents she support that they also can support their kids as well as themselves. And I have to say, on a side note, I just loved our conversation. I was left feeling so buzzed and grateful to have spent the time talking to Leanne. And I know that if I need some parenting support, Leanne has a great podcast called Parent Like a Psychologist. What's really super exciting is that I'll also be appearing on this podcast with Leanne in a few months. So stay tuned for that fun episode as well. Anyway, here we are. Without further ado, Leanne Tran. Happy listening. Hello. Hello. Hello, Leanne. Welcome. Welcome to Alchemy Mindset. I am so pleased to have you here on the show today, sharing everything around parenting, Like a psychologist. I know that's what you title your podcast, which is pretty cool. Yeah. Listening to some of those episodes, very insightful. Thank you. Awesome. As well as coming on the show today, not to only share some really important information and knowledge around how you can support parents and their kids raising them, but also, Your story, your journey behind starting your business. These are two things I'm always so curious about is like people's story, what they do, their zoner genius and how they started their business and all the little behind the scenes challenges that may have come up and how that can also help and support people in wanting to start their own business. So welcome. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Yeah. It's wonderful. So I would love for you to start, just give us a little bit of a background story as to how you got yourself to where you are today within your business and what you do. Oh, as you were speaking, I was thinking they're so intertwined, aren't they? Your story and then how you get there for your business and what you do. I guess it would start maybe back in high school, even, because I thought about being a teacher for a really long time, and then somewhere in high school, I kind of changed my mind and thought I would be a psychologist, and to me, I felt like there was that teacher component still there, but it was more being a teacher about things in life rather than school. And so that started me out in my career and then I started working with kids and families really early on. It was my second, I think it was my first job was working with adults who had substance abuse challenges. And I thought, I really want to go back in time to these people, which is not possible. So that's what brought me back to working with children and families. And I worked in a long time with kids with developmental disabilities, like cerebral palsy, um, and you had behavioral challenges and worked in. Non government settings in the government and found that there was a little bit of restriction around that. And my husband is a pediatrician and so he had this opportunity to start his own practice. And then later, well, originally I was home with kids who were little. As they grew a bit bigger, I came and joined him in the practice that we've kind of then ended up working on together over the years. So for me, there's been a lot of mindset shift, I guess, in becoming confident as a psychologist, for one thing, like confident in giving advice to other people and, you know, had that imposter syndrome come a lot. So after getting over that, then I had to get over the kind of thing about being in business as well. So that was more of a mindset shift. So, we have this practice where I still work and see clients one on one here in Brisbane. It's called Peds in a Pod, and I really love that work and connecting with families. But what I found is that I have three kids of my own as well, and often when families want to bring their kids to see a psychologist is after school or on the weekend. Because they don't want school to be disrupted, but that's often when my kids need me. So that challenge of balancing work and family has been ongoing. It's a big part of why I do private practice, I think, because of the flexibility. But then I've noticed I've been doing that for the last 10 years and now I'm moving more into trying to offer online education for parents so that they can access that whenever it suits them and I can create it when it suits my children and my family so that there's a bit more synergy between what I can give and what people need. That's awesome. I love it how that you've highlighted the mindset struggles or challenges that you first came up with within your business. And I'd love to dive more into that in a little moment. And then you've also shared that you've created overall a business model or a way of helping families and other children. So that it still works within that business and what you love doing. But it has that, like you said, that synergy in terms of working around your family and their needs and commitments and things like that, because when we're in business, we can get lost between the hours that we feel like we have to put in. And the hours that we need to be available to serve the people that we're helping, while at the same time trying to fulfilling the needs and being available to our family as they need as well, right? Yeah, I think that's a big thing. And to me too, in psychology, part of it is, Because, you know, for all of us having a job or having a business is, you know, there comes a lot of things and responsibilities with that, but with psychology as well, and maybe even the work you do, there's that emotional component as well. And so, for me, I've been working with kids. All day, I've got to have enough emotional energy to do that to, first of all, to stay calm and centered when I'm doing that with kids in the room, but also being able to think and problem solve at the same time as I'm interacting with kids and having enough energy to kind of play and be playful and fun. I'm an introvert as well, I guess, so it doesn't come naturally to me to give a lot of that. And so I find it's something that I can't do full time. So I do try to balance that with other work that I do in creating programs and things so that I can still be showing up in the best way for the families I work with in a various, you know, range of different ways, but then also so my family as well. Yeah, absolutely. I can imagine that, like you said, that being available in that emotional sense. And that energetic sense as well, because you are diverting and centering a lot of your energy around energy and emotions around supporting families and their kids, knowing that everybody is going to have a different story, a different need, a different process or something like that. And then also being that same, like centered, emotionally available, you know, energetic, still got reserves to then be with your family and help and support your family and kids in a way that they need as well. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. So you've said like finding that balance between creating, I'm guessing that you do like lots of one to one type interaction and support with families and their kids, and then also creating like programs and things like that, that are the resources. Yeah, that's right. Because I found what I was doing was every family is different. Every child is different, but lots of time the information I'm giving about certain conditions, I guess that the information I give around. Conditions like ADHD or autism or learning disorders is always the same information. How it's applied for each different child and family is different, but the information was the same. And so I was thinking if I can create a way that gets this out there more efficiently so that more families can benefit from this information, I would be able to have more of an impact. So most of my work here is in the one to one face to face in Brisbane, but I also do. Workshops online and things like that. So webinars just teaching about ADHD and autism and, and things like that. So families can access that information. I can reach a higher number. Yeah, absolutely. And I feel like this is information that is so relevant and more so this day and age, because of the awareness that we're having of children as they're coming forwards with learning difficulties and their special needs. And the information that's out there to help educate and support the parents around that. I think it's really great that you've got the ways of not only being face to face, but also to be able to share that information to a wider audience. So you said that you help families that have children with like autism or ADHD or other learning disorders or difficulties. Is that specifically who you work with? It's probably the largest component, yeah, and so I do see some kids who are typically developing and have difficulties like anxiety or maybe low mood, but most of the time the kids I see, you know, they're developing differently in some way. So it's the things you mentioned or other disabilities or intellectual challenges and things like that. Amazing. I think that support is so needed right now. And I was just curious to know your thoughts on this. This kind of filters from a conversation I had with my energy healer, Kerry, not too long ago. But I honestly feel like, and if I can say it from a spiritual realm, that the children that are coming forwards now, and the ones who are already They're here to challenge and to shift and change the way things have been done for a very long time. And I feel like the children that are coming forward, particularly ones that are being identified with having ADHD or autism or something like that, that they're here to actually help us shift and change within ourselves. As not only my parents, but as a society and the way that we educate them overall, do you feel like that's something that you're seeing as a pattern within the psychological realm? Yeah, I think it is. And I think, you know, I can see parallels to how COVID changed things a lot. And so, for example, when meeting on Zoom today, back pre COVID, everybody was really sure that the only way people could work was coming into the office together. And then this pandemic hit and, you know, everything changed and all of those things that people said were barriers actually weren't, and things changed. And so, I can see it at the moment, there is this really big kind of like tension between how schools do things in particular in terms of, You know, kids attending and learning, and that hasn't changed for hundreds of years. And yet the needs that the kids have are different. There's that mismatch between what, I guess it's not just schools, but it's society as well, what we expect kids to be able to do. Hasn't changed much yet. There's a big mismatch between lots of kids and the expectations. Yeah, absolutely. That's so interesting that you say that because I had been reflecting on that, just witnessing some of my friends who have children that are a bit older than Ava. So Ava's 18 months. But then there's children that are in like their early years of kindergarten or primary school. And also just my husband is a high school teacher. So knowing his history of teaching has been since he's, you know, graduated from university, which is over, I don't know how many years, but just seeing and witnessing the school system and then hearing his feedback and witnessing my other friends with children, you know, how we're all trying to fit in. And yeah. Basically, I don't even know what the right way is to say this, but, you know, sort of come out the other side that we do have abilities of reading and writing and that we can function within society. But how, like you said, the way of schooling has been kind of kept the same. Hasn't really. Yeah. You know, while we don't know that there's EAs and there's more support in school, but the way the schooling is, it hasn't really shifted from, you know, you come in, you sit down and you're meant to be quiet while you receive information and you have to write and read and do all the things. Whereas kids have shifted and changed. We have evolved as a society in a good way. So that's not fitting quite well. So I really find that fascinating and something really. Interesting to observe. So to hear you say that is, yeah, kind of puts a little spark on that. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, it was an interesting question. I think too, we're seeing it in terms, so then how that plays out is that there are a lot more kids now who are not able to go to school. So for whatever reason, that mis, that misfit is just so big that they're not attending school or we are seeing lots of kids who are trying to fit in that base and then. have secondary challenges like anxiety coming from being that kind of thing we'd call a psychologist's cognitive dissonance. The two things don't match up. So they're trying to be who they are, but they're also trying to fit in the expectations and doing both creates this mental battle that's just too hard. And so then mental health is becoming more of a challenge as well. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And that's really great to hear you say that you're in a position where you're helping families, you know, with children that may be experiencing anxiety and other stresses through life, schooling, et cetera, because we do put a lot of emphasis that's really just what happens when you're an adult, you know, that we have a stressful life. We have, you know, a certain situation or trauma that creates anxiety. And that we have to find all the resources to, you know, move our way through it, regulate our nervous system, that kind of thing. But it's also prevalent and important to address the kids in that situation too, right? Absolutely. I was listening to another podcast the other day talking about this topic where we kind of assume that kids don't feel anxiety. Um, we do see it as an adult type experience, but it's pretty common in kids and it's more common in kids who have other challenges like ADHD or learning difficulties as well. So it's really important to take a step back and think about the expectations we're placing on kids as a society and the impact of that. Absolutely. Yeah. I think this whole space is shifting and changing as we speak in, as you know, you and I are moving within it. And I mean, I have no idea what Ava's capacities will be when it comes to the ages that she'll be able to step into schooling, you know, and I'll be navigating all those things as a parent as well. So it's really. Absolutely. Absolutely. I think great that in this time there is so much more information and resources available to help parents navigate these things. But also like one of the reasons why, you know, I got you onto the show is to talk more about the importance of parents within themselves being calm and regulating themselves within situations that may arise. with just being a parent and family life in general, right? I mean, yeah, but how important that is for not only themselves, but also for their kids. I'd love you to share more information about that. Yeah. Thanks for asking the question because I think it's, you have mentioned too, before we were recording that there, you see a lot of emphasis placed on things like emotional regulation for children. Just tying it back to your last point, isn't it interesting that we see anxiety as an adult kind of thing, but we see emotional regulation as a child type thing? Yeah, I was just thinking the exact same thing going, look at the like polar opposites, but when in actual fact, everything needs the same attendance, right? Exactly. Yep. So it's paying attention to kids feelings and, you know, understanding their anxiety if it is there, but, you know, sometimes we fall into the trap as parents and adults to expect kids to be able to manage their own emotions beyond what typical for their age. And sometimes we think that it's an innate quality that people have, being able to manage emotions, but it's actually something that kids need to learn through their development. So, for me, a really important part of that is parents being able to do it, because I guess I may be a different psychologist to some in the fact that I think coming to see a psychologist is great, but trying to, Educate parents so they can help kids in their own home is going to be a much better outcome because your child might see me for an hour a week or a fortnight to work on that, but they'll see you a whole lot more and they care about what you think a whole lot more than they care about what I think of them. So using that role modeling that parents give to be able to show and teach their kids how to. Manage their emotions is just so much more powerful. Absolutely. And I have to add a little bit there with that from my own training, and I'm not by any means a psychologist, but I did study NLP. And the one thing that's always honed in my training was that your subconscious mind is the most active between the ages of zero and seven. And that's the time when you're a sponge to your world, to your environment, caregivers, to your society, to the things that you learn and see and witness that shape and develop, you know, your habits, beliefs. And not saying that's the only time where those habits and beliefs really can only happen. Obviously, as we grow, we still develop other strange habits and beliefs, right? Throughout experiences. Yep. As a little teeny tiny sponge, you're just absorbing everything because that's the development of your mind at that stage of your life. So, your kids are witnessing the way you talk about things, the way you do things, and that's how they develop. Like, you know, for example, maybe it's the way you clean your teeth, let's say, break it down to something really simple, the way you clean your teeth, or you wipe a bench after you've cooked. Like, your kids are developing or seeing a habit and a process and they develop that themselves. But if you also come to it from another perspective of like the way you talk about other people, the way you handle relationships, and as you're saying here, right, the way you handle your own emotions and regulate your own nervous system according to certain situations, the way like, I think a really big one that gets, I see within the coaching world is your money mindset and the way your parents or their beliefs and their habits and behaviors around money and how that filters through into now as adults and how we actually. Use and interact with money. Yeah. Just so those little things, but coming back to what you said, you know, it's easy for us to focus on children about having them to regulate their emotions. And like you said, they're seeing you 24 hours a day, you know, apart from maybe the one hour when they're with you, Leanne, and of a week, and they're still missing all the things that go on in life and in the home that happen outside of your like time together. So it is important, like you said, to. support the parents and teach them, well, you know, they're looking at you and they're sponging the information from you. So how are you dealing with this all at the same time? Yeah. And your podcast is a lot about mindset. And I think if you keep that as your mindset for parenting, that you have the opportunity to, model and teach your kid that stuff, then that's the most powerful mindset you can have. And sometimes the parenting mindset is more about what we've done wrong, or, Oh, I haven't done that. So then I haven't, you know, that's why they have this challenge now, but I always flip it around and say, you know, maybe, but it means then you've got. The power to change that as well. So you can flip it around and use that to teach the positive things. Yeah, absolutely. I think that's so important to remember as well. Thank you for sharing that because you're right. It's not like these things have happened and it's branded on you like a tattoo for life. Yeah, exactly. And so you mentioned like with the emotional regulation, some stuff that really links back to training that I've done and things I've been focusing on recently. So it's things like that learning to do stuff before, you know, the kids learn by watching us do things. And we kind of call that procedural learning. So it's things that we don't intend to teach kids, but by watching us, they learn that's how you do it. And so, a powerful quote I often think about when we talk about parenting is that kids learn what we don't mean to teach. And so, we can have the best of intentions, but they will watch what we do really closely. And there's a great program from the Australian Childhood Foundation called Bringing Up Great Kids that's, is kind of teaching parents this stuff through just reflecting on their own parenting and thinking about the impact it has. And as part of that, one of the examples I was seeing was videos of parents and kids who do things the same way, innocuous little things like, you know, if you wash your hands, then do you flick the water off and you don't teach your kids, okay, after we wash your hands, we flick off the water, they just see you do it and they learn to do it. And so by thinking about that and what they're watching and learning, it increases the impact that we can have so much. on our kids in a positive way. Oh, 100%. I fully agree with that. Yeah. I'll also get the detail of that program from you. And I'll put that in the show notes as well, so that if any can have a look, including myself, because also following in this conversation, what I'm seeing as well is that we're learning from kids and kids are learning from us. Like our children are here to help us be better people. I know Ava has. Come into my life and into my husband's life to help and teach us certain things. And, you know, if we ever had another child, I do feel that the same way. Like they're here to teach and show us and help us to be better people. And at the same time within that. I mean, I know Ava's going to have her own experiences and learnings and things that she needs to experience in this life. And that's something I can never control, but I can only help her be a better human being through being the best that I can. And knowing that, you know, I'm not perfect, nobody on this planet is perfect, but at the same time teaching her that, you know, mum will always be learning about herself and being the best that she can and experience different things to help, like, you know, Like I said, I mean, I'm just keep saying it like being the best I can be, but I mean, I know it's important for myself within not only the work that I do, but personally to do meditation, but to experience other courses that can help bring a bit more calmness or clarity within my mind and my energy to learn different things that put me a little bit outside of my comfort zone so that she can see as well that it's okay to try different things and not to be afraid of everything. But this is what mom does to sort of. Help make her be a better mum. And I think that's the one thing that's really circulating around here as well is that these kids are here to teach us just as we're here in a partnership to teach them. And I feel like sometimes it's always been that one sided, like I'm the parent, so I know more than you and I love the quote that you gave. And the one that always circulates in my mind is. do as I say, but not as I do. So, you know, but it's the same thing. It's like, you're the child. What would you know when in actual fact they're spiritual beings with a lot of intelligence that they're here to help shift and change us as well. Yeah. Yeah. And I think they are their own people as well. So there's that old school philosophy of I'm the adult. I know you're the child is, this is what you should do and how you should do it. But you know, that doesn't work for all kids. They're their own people. They're going to turn into their own. Adults, and our job is to just kind of guide them along the way and how we do that, like you mentioned, is by trying to be the best. People, we can be ourselves, but also give them advice and teach them skills, but ultimately we can't control who they're going to turn into and who they're going to be. So it's more about, I guess that's where I see that modeling coming in is more so it's not trying to teach or create something in our children that we want, but focusing more inward about creating it in ourselves and then they will benefit from that flow on effect of that. Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Yep. That makes such perfect sense. In my mind, it does anyway. I hope it does to the listener. Yeah. If it does, at least in your mind, then we're getting somewhere. Yeah, exactly. One person on the planet who gets it. Yeah. No, I know this, this will really resonate with a lot of people out there and I hope it really does also inspire people to take a moment to reflect on some of the things that maybe they have been feeling a little bit, you know, like they've been struggling within themselves. And just taking time to reflect on that and maybe find ways to get the support or do something to help themselves knowing that what they do does help their family and their kids as well and, and society really. Yeah. And it's like coming back right from the very start of this little part of the conversation where you said that, you know, a lot of time we see it within the kids, but in actual fact it is parents that need to also work in partnership with what their children are needing. Yep. And so taking that step back and trying to look at. How we can improve for ourselves, I think. You know, rather than seeing that from a place of putting pressure on parents, I'm trying to convey it in a way that takes the pressure off the child to develop and grow and learn, and it's kind of letting them have the space they need to be to turn into who they want to be. So it's not so much about feeling guilty ourselves about what we haven't done, but just know that kids will develop and get there in time. So that pressure on you that they're not there yet should just be removed out of the dictionary along with perfectionism. Yeah, I think that one should be also removed. Yeah, absolutely. Oh, thank you so much for sharing that really important part there, I think, of our conversation. I just know that's one of those really divine moments of information that has just dropped in and I know it will really help. A lot of people out there and parents, I'm just curious also to know, like some of the tools that you teach parents, how you use them within your own experiences of being a parent and navigating motherhood and all the things that go on. Yeah. That's a really good question, and people don't often ask me that, I think because in that psychology role, there's normally that, like, not sharing much about yourself in the kind of sessions, so it's lots about me telling other people and practicing with kids, but I don't talk a lot about what I do, so it's nice to have the opportunity to do that. Yeah. I think for me, it kind of starts as I see it as big picture in terms of. I'm trying to be conscious about the things that I choose to do and not do in life so that I can manage the baseline stress level I experience. And I say this about kid and two kids all the time, the closer we are to our kind of flip the lid moment, the easier it is to happen. But if we can reduce the baseline and so for me, that's by doing things like trying to sleep well, do physical activity and balance work pressures with family pressures. My stress levels are a lot lower and I have a lot more kind of incapacity. to handle my emotions and stress because as psychologists too, we often look at things that are preventive strategies. So that's one thing, but then also doing things like mindfulness and having time to myself in nature. That's my spiritual kind of practice being in nature. All of those are the preventive strategies. And then when I get triggered and You know, set off, which happened, I've got three kids. It happens sometimes daily, depending on the period of time we're going through. I have this rule in our family where you kind of, well, my husband and I, I guess we say we're going to take five minutes. So it's, if we feel really annoyed and frustrated, we'll say, I'm going to take five minutes and we'll go and sit somewhere quiet away so that we can calm down and have a chance for our rational mind to kind of come through before I. Respond and react. And so then also breathing is a good one, doing lots of deep breathing. I find calms me when I'm really anxious because of that great connection between deep breathing and reducing our heart rate, which brings all of our stress levels down. Yeah. So I think the real crux of it comes down to catching yourself before it's too late. So trying to do that stuff early is great. So for me, if it's something with my kids, maybe I'll use one of those strategies first before I give an answer to a situation, or if, you know, the kids are arguing with each other, I will go and take that five minutes out or do some deep breathing or something, and then come back to try and solve the problem with them. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, they're great techniques that I think a lot of people would be really interested to hear. But it's not like it's anything too outrageous that seems impossible to do, right? You don't need to be qualified in all of these things. I really like the one where you said whenever you feel like you're about to have that, you know, flip the lid moment that you say to your husband, all right, five minutes, just in five minutes. And you. Take yourself out of the situation just so that you can calm yourself down and have that moment to gather your thoughts or your energy or whatever it is, or just not to be present in that moment before you re engage. And I think that's just brilliant, like such an easy thing to do because you're right, we can be so reactive in a split second within a moment of something happening. Whereas if we just take a moment to pause, breathe, go, all right. you know, before I respond, then that can diffuse a situation that could often be a lot more explosive, right? And the point of the strategies really is to Put a bit of distance between the situation and your reaction to it. And so it doesn't really matter how you do that. There's no right way to do it. It's about what's the right way for you. But for me, if we do that walk away, then it gives you the physical space for you to then find the strategy you need. Yeah. There's nothing worse than saying, okay, just give me a minute. I've got to calm down. And you're trying to do deep breathing and the sibling rivalry is still happening. It doesn't work. And then in those moments I will, you know, lose it and snap or something like that. And then, you know, because I know it hasn't worked, I haven't given myself the space to do that first. And the other strategy I know is it's a strategy for when you've accidentally not or said something in a really mean way. You can just repair the relationship as well. You mentioned that there's no one perfect. We make mistakes. And so repairing that by just saying things like, you know what? I wasn't calm then. I didn't think it through and I was rude. I'm sorry about that. It's a great way for you to relieve the guilt, the parent guilt of having made a mistake. But also it repairs the relationship you have with your child and your attachment, but then it also models to them what to do when they've had a mistake. Yeah. So yeah, you don't need to kind of worry that When it doesn't work out that you've kind of stuffed up your child or anything like that. Yeah. That's yeah. And I think that's a really a great thing that you've highlighted as well as just explaining to them what happened within your moments. So they have that understanding of why mom was not happy at that moment or why she reacted in the way she did. And knowing that. Maybe that wasn't the right way, but it just happened. And like you said, we're not perfect. So, and I think the other thing is there is like, you know, in a way, apologize. You know, I didn't mean to be like that. I'm sorry that I, you know, because it does help. Like you said, Sue repair and just ease that guilt of like, crap. I just said that in that way. And that wasn't really nice and I don't mean it. And then the more it lingers, sometimes it's the harder to go. back and then, you know, soothe the situation, I guess. Yeah, that's right. Just wait till you are calm though. I do remember another mum friend I used to sort of work alongside and I did massage therapy and she said, you know, this morning I wasn't my greatest, you know, I snapped at my kid and then in the afternoon when I picked them up, we talked about and I said, you know, do you understand why I was a bit snappy this morning? And this is the things that were kind of like, blah, blah, blah. And I really admired the way she did that and thought that was a really good example of great parenting in my mind. Like, you know, she got angry, she got upset. She was a bit, you know, annoyed because maybe they were trying to get out on time to get to school or whatever, and whatever happened, et cetera, et cetera. The event, the moment, everything. And then the afternoon it was like, well, this is why I felt like this and just explained and they had a conversation. And yeah, so I really feel like this is a really easy, but great way of good parenting is just being honest. Like, you know, I have these moments too, cause I'm human and it's not my best, but I try to be my best for you, you know. And it's naming the whole process for the kids as well to. You know, you're talking about it, you're describing it so they can understand what happened and then they can recognize it in themselves as well. And so there's nothing better than when your child's maybe being really rude or something and they come back and they say of their own free will, I'm sorry, I was rude. I was really angry or I was annoyed and you know, that's all you can hope for. That's great kind of awareness and skills to have as a kid that then take into adulthood. Absolutely. I feel like these are all great. Things that are starting to occur that is really going to help shift and change society. And even like at the very start of this podcast where you shared that one of your first jobs was working with adults who were recovering from substance abuse and just thinking to yourself, like, I wonder what happened in your childhood, like, how could that have been repaired or nurtured or taken care of better so that you wouldn't have landed in this situation? This is the start, like what you're supporting parents in, is the first steps in hopefully creating a more amazing society and culture around the fact that we're human beings and we're living this human experience and we're going to have all these experiences and we're all different. Yeah, I do share your view that it feels like there's a change in terms of more compassion coming through. That's the word compassion. I love it. Leanne, I'd love to just switch the flip, flip the switch on our conversation. And just for you to share some of like going back to some of those mindset challenges when you first started your business, as most of the listeners know, like my podcast and what I do is also about supporting entrepreneurial women in business and particular, like. Overcoming some of those mindset hurdles that overshadow us sometimes in terms of starting or initiating or pivoting or growing our business in whatever that might be. So you talked initially about confidence and imposter syndrome. How did you move through that or where did you feel like that came up for you within initiating or starting working for yourself? Yeah, I think it came up before I started working for myself in terms of, because I work with children, giving advice to parents when I wasn't a parent myself, with the first kind of mindset challenge. But then I've noticed coming into private practice, working for myself, that there is that, another, Mindset shift then about being worthy of the money that we're charging for our advice and our time, but that's something I notice in all people who start. So, psychologists or the doctors that we have, we've got a lot of pediatricians as well, when there's that first step of you being out there on your own in private practice, it's a huge shift to get over the question of your worth. Do I know enough? You know, we never know it all and so believing that we know enough to be able to help somebody is a mindset shift. And I think then as part of psychology, professional development, we have supervision at least 10 hours a year. So talking with other peers or people who know more than we do. And that's the big part of what had helped me through the mindset shifts. I think because it's almost like having that mentor of. Somebody who's been there and been through it and they can relate to how you feel, but also see it from the other side. And then, so that's kind of part of what I do now with psychologists is do that mentoring and supervision for them as well to, it's lots about reflecting on things and reframing it to see it from another point of view. And so that one of the common ones for me is thinking about, you know, do I know enough to help families and then twist it around to be thinking, if this was my child, how would I see the value in this? So that's been really interesting to come through. Yeah. Wow. I love it. How you've highlighted that one aspect of, you know, newly qualified or your value of what you're charging according to the knowledge that you have. I think that one comes up a lot within the entrepreneurial world, regardless to what industry you are in. And particularly, I mean, in industries where perhaps things aren't like regulated. It's still, you know, I'm just thinking of, for example, within the massage world, it's not really a heavily regulated industry, but, you know, knowing that when you're starting like, you know, do I charge this much basing on according to my qualifications and my experience and will people pay for that? And will they be happy to receive what I give them for that money? You know, all those questions around worth and what you're wanting to charge being backed up by what you truly believe in is. Your value. I think that's one of the huge mindset hurdle that comes up regularly. It's not an uncommon one. And so, like you said, having that mentorship or someone that can coach you and support you through those early stages to say, well, actually, you do know a lot or to support you in filling the gaps where you might need more information or support. I think that's really important. I think within all the entrepreneurial world, like to have someone that you can mentor from and learn from to support you is a great way of overcoming mindset challenges. Somebody from an outside perspective, because sometimes we get caught up in our head thinking about, it's yeah, seeing it from the outside can be really helpful and people have helped me flip it around to look at, rather than it being about my worth and, That kind of thing about what value is this to the families or to the person that I'm supporting. And that's an easy way to make it not about us and who we are, but you know, we're trying to do work for others. And so that mindset change has been a really useful one for me. Yeah. Amazing. So that's really good. for sharing that as well, like what you've initially experienced there. And then now that you've got three kids. And working for yourself as well, like I know you brushed on this or talked to this early in the podcast, but how do you find that unravels? Sometimes life unraveled. That's a very, probably a meaningful word you've accidentally used there. But I think sometimes one challenge I've worked on too, with is trying to like articulate. A vision and kind of try and follow it through. I think I'm naturally a collaborator, kind of bringing people together, but stepping out into that, doing things or creating things feels more like a leadership mentality, I'm working on getting used to that. And so I think that is in my mind going to help push me along the path I'm going to, because. I can tend to be, uh, people pleaser, so which means I take on a bit too much, and then that's when things start to unravel, so I'm trying to change that by focusing on my mindset and what I'm focused on and what my goals are, so that I can be more aligned to the work I'm doing and my priorities with family, rather than saying yes to everything. So it's an ongoing battle, I think. The idea of work life balance, I think, is another one we could get out of the dictionary. Yeah, I think that totally, I think balance can just be erased. Yeah, yeah. So how it works for me, I guess, and I don't know whether this is intentional, it's probably partly intentional or partly just by happenstance, but I tend to go in seasons. And so they line up with the school terms. And so I might work really hard during the school term and then have breaks over the holidays with my family when the kids aren't at school, but it's also when my clients are often off on holidays and maybe, you know, You know, more fun things in their life than coming to therapy. So it's a natural way of being able to like, you know, get things done, but then have some restorative breaks and renew my energy. And then I'm ready to go for the next term and that kind of thing, because I don't know that the balance ever works, but trying to build in some. Downtime and recharging time is the most useful thing I've come up with so far. Yeah, absolutely. I think it's the most sustainable thing in business to make sure that you're taking care of your own energy, your own mindset, your own spirituality, your own physical health, because when you work for yourself and unless you're managing employees. If it's just you, show doesn't happen if you're not on your best game, right? So I agree. I've sort of structured my business a bit around school holidays as well, because that's when Francois has time off being a teacher. And if anything, I feel within myself that when I get to the school holidays, I'm ready for a bit of a break. Like, I love what I do. I love holding weekly sound baths, but there's a point where sometimes I'm just like, Oh, I just need to tap out of the spiritual for a while. I just want to go on a holiday and see something else. And that's when, and I'm sure you can agree, we find our most inspiration when we've stepped outside of our business, when we're not too close to it, we find our biggest creativity, our inspiration, those more ideas, but ultimately we're just taking care of ourselves. We're not meant to work 24 seven as robots and even machinery breaks after a while, it needs to be repaired. So. Within ourselves, I've sort of taken on a similar thing where during, you know, school term, I'll try and work as hard as I can, do as much as I can within that time. But then school holidays, I step out of a lot of things that I would offer because I want that downtime too. And that's the time when Francois is free and I'd love to spend time with him and Ava. So yeah, it's a good one to work with that. Yeah, absolutely. And then. Lastly, I'd love for you to share as well if you've got any advice, like if someone was to say to you, Leanne, what would be one or two bits of advice that you could offer another woman or a mom who's about to embark on an entrepreneurial journey and start her own business? What would you say? This is, uh, such a great question because I find it so useful hearing other people's perspectives and stories, so I could imagine listeners to your podcast, hearing everybody. give this answer would be amazing. I think probably two things I would focus on. And one is to say, yeah, do it. I waited too long and I didn't trust myself soon enough, I think. So I would say just try thing and you can refine it along the way. And to me, that's a bit of a mantra I have as well, where I have in my mind of starting out. I don't know what to do because I'm not sure how it would be. It's optimal, you know, thing to start out and refine as you go along will help you get to the end place you want to be. And then in terms of being a woman and possibly parent and also running a business, I think I would say you're going to drop some ball somewhere. And advice that was given to me once, and I don't remember where I got it from, is to just make sure you don't drop the ones that are going to break. And so it's not this idea about work life balance, it's mostly about how many balls do you have in the air at the moment, if you're going to have to drop one, make sure it's the one that's not going to do some damage, so sometimes it's going to be dropping things with kids. I like not read the school newsletter and not done this or that, but if my kid needed something because they were unwell or they needed a medical appointment, that's not something I would drop. And same with work. Sometimes there are things that are really pivotal and important that I, I can't drop, but other things won't make such a big difference. So I think it's about thinking, you know, in terms of my core values and what's important to me and other people, is this something I can just drop and let go? Such gold advice, Celiane. I love it how you, I love that analogy of like, if you're going to drop a ball, make sure it's not the one that breaks. And I'm just thinking of that Christmas bauble, that's the glassed one, you know, that breaks and it just shatters. Yep. Yep. That's such gold. Really good. I feel like there's a microphone drop here as well. Yeah. It's one of those things that even now it makes me stop and think about it. Yeah, it does resonate a lot. Again, it depends how you look at it, doesn't it, because it's not meant to be scary about if you drop something, it will break, but it's mostly about just hold on to those ones that are really like, you know, the glass baubles and the other stuff will, you know, if it drops, it might bounce away and you won't even think about it again. That's such beautiful advice, and I'm so glad that you've shared that because that will no doubt also resonate with someone who's listening right now and will need to hear that. So thank you again. You're welcome. Oh, Leanne, this has been such a fun episode to record and have you on. I'm glad you feel that way. Yeah, and I'm so grateful that you shared so much wisdom and information here. I just feel like I've just learned so much myself. And there's so much that I can take away within our conversation. So of course, if anybody wants to reach out to Leanne, not only hear her podcast, but to receive any information or support, I'll have all the information in the show notes, of course. And of course. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for coming on the show and being part of this. I absolutely loved it. Yeah. Thank you so much for having me. I've really loved the conversation as well. Thank you so much for tuning in and listening to today's episode. Please rate and review this podcast so that it can continue to thrive and reach more listeners. I love to know who my listeners are. So please screenshot this episode and tag me on Instagram at Anna F. Hastie. And I look forward to connecting with you in the next episode.