Trailblazing Nonprofits and the Heart of Impactful Leadership

Ever faced a challenge that seemed insurmountable, only to find resilience you didn't know you had? That's the story of Ashley Alayka, CEO of the Hive Community Circle, who joins us today to share her journey through adversity and the significance of embracing authentic leadership. From the skepticism that greeted the founding of her nonprofit to the intricacies of balancing her roles as a CEO, track coach, and mother, Ashley's narrative is a testament to the power of personal wellness, faith, and the unwavering belief that one's mission can make a difference.

As we peel back the layers of leadership, we uncover the transformative impact of mentorship - the kind that Charendria Robinson provided me - and the art of integrating life's many dimensions. Ashley and I discuss moving beyond the mythical 'work-life balance' to a harmonious blend of our personal, professional, and family lives. Listeners will discover the importance of preserving one's essence through boundary-setting and the courage to design a life that aligns with their unique vision of success.

Wrapping up our heartfelt conversation, we turn the spotlight on the decision to invest in oneself and the need for convenience, especially during trying times like the pandemic. Ashley and I explore the work of two inspiring nonprofits, Turn 90 and the Chichayara Foundation, and the immeasurable value of offering support to those finding their way back to society or to safety. Join us for these candid stories and leadership lessons that underscore our philosophy: People always matter.

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Disclaimer:

The views and opinions expressed in this podcast are those of the speakers and guests and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of any organization or entity. The information provided in this podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional advice. Listeners should consult with their own professional advisors before implementing any suggestions or recommendations made in this podcast. The speakers and guests are not responsible for any actions taken by listeners based on the information presented in this podcast. The podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice or services. The speakers and guests make no representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, about the completeness, accuracy, reliability, suitability or availability with respect to the information, products, services, or related graphics contained in this ...

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

Welcome to Unpacked Podcasts with your host leadership consultant, ron Harvey of Global Core Strategies and Consulting. Ron's delighted to have you join us as he unpacks and shares his leadership experience, designed to help you in your leadership journey. Ron believes that leadership is the fundamental driver towards making a difference. So now to find out more of what it means to unpack leadership, here's your host, ron Harvey.

Speaker 2: 0:27

Hey, good morning everyone. This is Ron Harvey, the Vice President and Chief Operating Officer for Global Core Strategies and Consulting. We are a leadership firm based out of Columbia, south Carolina, and everything that we do is about adding value and making a difference. We truly believe and run our business off of. People always matter, so we spend all of our time helping leaders be better leaders to take care of the people that they're responsible for and responsible to. So our goal is to help you be effective in your own leadership role.

Speaker 2: 0:53

We'd love to have a conversation at some point if you think we can be of service to you, but today I always pause and we do our podcast, and our podcast is Unpacked with Ron Harvey and we've been right guests from all over the world, all industries, all backgrounds, all walks of life, and these people are very good at what they do. So it's always an honor to bring someone in as an expert at what they do, which helps me, because some of the stuff I don't know what they do and they help me be smarter about it. But today I'm super, super happy for someone that's local, that's doing phenomenal things in her industry and her working in our city. I want to invite Ashley. So, ashley, thank you for joining us. Thank you for coming on the show. I'm super excited to have you, so if you could take some moments, you know if you will introduce yourself and share the information that you want us to know or the audience to know about you.

Speaker 3: 1:37

Absolutely Well. First of all, thank you so much, ron, for having me on here. I'm really excited to be able to join you and just have this conversation around unpacking leadership and all other things that may come out. But again, my name is Ashley Alayka.

Speaker 3: 1:52

I am the founder and CEO of the Hive Community Circle, which is located here in Columbia, south Carolina. We are a culturally specific peer advocacy organization that works with survivors of sexual assault, intimate partner violence and stalking all the way from age 11 and older, and so that is my day to day work that I do. I'm also a track coach, so I would consider myself an athlete. Still, I love sports and I also coach a track team, so it's something that I do I would say part time that I really enjoy, and I also am a mom of three children. I have my daughter, karen she's 13,. Caleb is 11 and Colin is eight, so they consume most of my time outside of, you know, taking care of myself. Obviously, I do that through fitness and wellness, my job, of course, and my children. So those are the things that you know matter to me, of course, and faith, which comes before all.

Speaker 2: 2:56

Thank you for sharing, and then we'll dive into unpack a lot of the conversations and the thing for everyone that's listening and watching us today is that all of our guests come on without any questions. There's no question that we have sent. There's no question we've discussed, but what we do promise is that we will talk leadership, we'll let you behind the curtain and we'll be transparent, because I think leaders have to be able to be human and talk about some things that we don't naturally talk about at dinner table or over coffee, or even sometimes we'll do an interviews. They're pretty crafted. This is uncrafted as far as we promise to be open and transparent and have fun with you, so hopefully you enjoy what we show with you today. Let's ask you that I dive in to about 20 minutes of conversation around leadership and women in leadership and the work that she's doing. So I don't know.

Speaker 1: 3:38

The next question and I don't even know the next answer, so please hang on with us.

Speaker 2: 3:41

This is real time and so the cameras lie. So, ashley, as you think about it, you're at the hive, you're doing work. What are some of the challenges, as a female African-American female with being a CEO of a nonprofit? Because there are a lot of nonprofits, people are starting them everywhere and there is a difference, because I'm a for-profit, you're a nonprofit, but you're African-American for both of us, but you're female and there's some different challenges. What are some of the challenges that you encounter as being an African-American female CEO of a nonprofit?

Speaker 3: 4:08

Yeah, that's a great question and a lot to unpack. So I would say that definitely being in this role as CEO or executive director definitely comes with these challenges as an African-American woman, particularly in my experience, because what's unique is that not only am I the CEO of this organization, I founded this organization and so the experience of what it is to establish and start something from the ground and build it up is very different than someone who gets to go through an extensive interview process and hired and they walk into that role in that position. And so for me, being a Black woman, some of those challenges that I've had to navigate definitely have been going into spaces where individuals were intimidated by me just based off of the experience and the knowledge that I have, as well as the vision that I had. Again, starting this organization. It can sound introducing yourself. They say, give your elevator speech or your elevator pitch, and you tell someone. It is that you do, and I remember when I first started this organization, a lot of times individuals even in other organizations would say to me well, have you considered just volunteering or going to work with one of the other organizations that exists and having to really justify and prove why there was a reason for the Hive to exist and I'm so glad that I didn't allow comments such as that to impact me but also as it pertains to funding philanthropy.

Speaker 3: 5:55

I think one thing is also unique philanthropy within the Black community is very different than oftentimes how Westernized society has deemed what philanthropy is. We, as a community, see philanthropy beyond substantial amounts of donations. We see philanthropy as providing meals and dinner for your neighbors or for individuals in your community. We see philanthropy as that place where individuals are able to come and get free tutoring and free services or just being able to pick someone up and take them to where they have to go. And so, as a Black woman is starting this nonprofit, one of the things that I would say is still a challenge is definitely diversifying our funding, and so I think, unfortunately, oftentimes when you serve, such as the Hive, we serve underserved communities, and so when someone doesn't look like me and they are serving underserved communities, they're seeing it the saving grace, you know.

Speaker 3: 6:59

But when you're someone that looks like the individuals that you're serving, it's questionable, unfortunately.

Speaker 3: 7:06

Your integrity is questioned, your motive is questioned and it's not taken into the same light.

Speaker 3: 7:13

And so I would definitely say you know, those are some of the challenges that I have faced as a Black woman really having to pave my own way, really having to seek out mentors and individuals to support me and really assist me with the resources and the knowledge that I needed in order to be able to not just start this organization, to be able to grow it and sustain it, which I think is something that oftentimes people don't consider when they want to start a nonprofit, they just know they want to do something good. Right, they don't for some people. They just know I just want something where individuals can come and volunteer their time, you know, after they get off of work. We just want to provide mentoring. But I knew that the Hive was meant to be a fully established organization that would have staff members, and so it was important for me to build a foundation that would support the infrastructure of what it was that the Hive has become and will continue to become years beyond me.

Speaker 2: 8:21

Yes, yes, I mean, you gave a lot to unpack, ashley, and so, as you go into the conversation, I want to pick certain parts that may be really, really helpful. You know, based on previous guests, some things that I didn't address with them. So, when you think about your role in the Hive, in the community that you are in, there had to be some times that you had some self-doubting or feeling like it isn't the right thing to do and you questioned your own motives. How did you move through that with the naysayers and even sometimes challenging your own thoughts?

Speaker 3: 8:50

You have to remember your why. That's one thing that's important. But you also have to know that, whatever it is that your purpose is in life, that you have been called and equipped, and for me, it was remembering that that I had been called and I had already been equipped, so I didn't need another certification to validate me or to verify that. Okay, now you're in a position where you can move forward with this. I had already been equipped with the tools and the resources, and everything that I needed was already in me and it just needed to be activated.

Speaker 3: 9:26

And this was really important for me, because when I first started the Hive, I had my master's in social work, and so I had told myself that, well, I need to get licensed, I need to become licensed as a social worker, because when I go into these spaces, having my licensure is going to look better, it's going to sound better, having the initials behind my name, I was going to be received by the individuals that I was essentially wanting to not just invest, but welcome me into the field and into the community against gender-based violence. And so the first time I took the exam, I missed it by one point.

Speaker 2: 10:08

That's much straighter.

Speaker 3: 10:10

It's one point. The second time I took the exam, I actually connected with another friend, tutored, I helped her study. I missed by 10 that time and she passed. And after spending over five hundred dollars and countless hours of studying, I took a step back and I asked myself actually what difference of you getting this license or is truly going to make? Because as an executive director, you can't provide counseling, and that's essentially the only reason why, as a social worker, one would get license is because they want to practice therapy, they want to become a clinician.

Speaker 3: 10:51

I couldn't do both, and so that's when I unpack it and process it myself I realized, well, no, this was really about me wanting to be validated, me wanting to be accepted by the people in the room and feeling like, well, if I just got this one thing, that would make me more acceptable within the community, within the nonprofit realm, as an individual and entrepreneur.

Speaker 3: 11:18

And so, again, it challenged me to remind myself that God had already called me and that God had already equipped me, because starting the Hive was not something that I desired to do. This was something that came out of my own personal journey as a survivor of sexual assault and secondary survivor of domestic violence. It was something that, after having the opportunity to share my own story, I was inspired and really received the vision by God that this is what your purpose is for this next season. This is what I have called you to, and so, yes, I am a social worker, and I always tell people that I'm a social worker by profession, but I am a survivor every day. That is a part of my identity, that is who I am and it's what I walk in, and that is what has validated and called me to do this job beyond anything else.

Speaker 2: 12:19

Yes.

Speaker 2: 12:19

So what I'm hearing from you that you share with the audience is that at the end of the day, when you're dealing with your insecurities or you're dealing with your self-doubt, understand that you bring a lock to the table, and sometimes every certification is not going to help you close that gap. You've got to believe in yourself, you've got to trust that you know what you need to know, and every certification doesn't make you great. I mean, I think a lot of people struggle with the next thing to be accepted in the room, and sometimes you can have everything and still never get accepted into that room. And so I would say that what I'm hearing from you and I'm packing is whatever it is that you're supposed to do, you're probably more than enough to do it. Just lean in and take the chance Like believe in yourself enough, better in yourself enough and go for whatever your dreams are Something you mentioned earlier.

Speaker 2: 13:00

I want to unpack a little bit. How important was it for you to have mentors coming up in the ranks, and how do you define or identify a mentor?

Speaker 3: 13:09

Yes. So one thing I would say is that mentors are vital and if I was to just think back over my life, I would say that probably my first mentor was my fourth grade elementary teacher, who also was my drama teacher, because she saw something very special and unique in me and we fostered a relationship that lasted beyond me and going to elementary school even as an adult, and that was that relationship of having someone who is able to coach you and guide you along the way and just provide insight. It's so important, as I said, it's so vital because it allowed me, when I got into challenging situations, I was able to pause and ask myself what would this individual do, or what is it that they have taught me or modeled really before me? And I think, when I think about a mentor, yes, having the opportunity to unpack and have conversations with them about things that can be challenging is important, but the biggest impact that I believe that my mentors have been able to have in my life is the life that they have modeled before me, how I've been able to see them navigate challenging and difficult times and being able to look at them and say you know what when I have to go through a challenging situation or I have to deal with a difficult individual or just something personal going on in my own life. That is how I want to be able to respond, and so I, more so, look at my mentors as someone that I not only aspire to be but aspire to be able to go beyond. And how can I, in turn, then be that for someone else?

Speaker 3: 15:02

And I never forget, she's actually local as well. She's a native of Columbia, her name is Charendria Robinson, and when I started the Hive, she helped me with submitting my 501c3 application and she gave me a part-time job, because at that time I was just a military spouse and I had taken away time from work. And she just poured so much into me and I had never asked for any of it. And I never forget, she said to me when I wanted to thank her for all that she had done, she said no, ashley, it's OK, because one day someone's going to come to you and I want you to pour into them and gift them the same way that I've done that for you. And I think that, again, it's about what she modeled before me. It's still something that I have carried with me 10, 11 years now down the road of the lifestyle that I live.

Speaker 3: 16:00

That's truly to me again what the biggest influence and the biggest impact a mentor can have. But they also can be a person that some people call them a sponsor, but they lift your name up in spaces and rooms when you're not there. They're thinking about you and thinking about, maybe, opportunities to help you grow or to help stretch you. I believe a mentor is someone who always wants to see you become the best version of yourself. So I would highly encourage individuals, if you don't have a mentor, to definitely seek one out, because it's important to have one in your life, because everyone may not be able to afford a coach per se, but I do believe everyone should have a mentor, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 16:46

Well said and, as you're listening, I think, phenomenal information. Who's helping you, who's pointing to you, who sometimes sees more in you than you see in yourself and believes in you more than you believe in yourself? And always have those moments where there's someone and hang on to their belief in you until you get your own. And I would say, if you're looking at a mentor, it doesn't always have to be your gender, your race, your belief system. It's someone that models what you believe you want to be in life. That can help you. So, please, please, I totally endorse having a mentor. So, when you think about your role and you think about the community and you're in business, it hasn't always been easy and sometimes, when people look at it from the external side, they see it like an overnight success. How do you balance family with personal, with professional?

Speaker 3: 17:29

So one of the things that a term that I have adopted for myself too, I would say is a harmony. So a lot of people say work-life balance or I have to find balance. For me, I need harmony. The difference between balance and harmony is everything in my life may not all be at the same level, right and balanced out, but there's harmony that's happening between them, meaning that there's a flow, and so for me, it's about maintaining that harmony. And also, some people like to use the word self-care. I use the word self-preservation because I need to reinforce practices in my life that allow me to preserve Ashley.

Speaker 3: 18:12

I realized that Ashley is the gift. I'm the gift as the CEO of this organization, I'm the gift as the mom, I'm the gift as the track coach, you know, as the friend, as the daughter, but more importantly, I am the gift to me. And so if I don't center my own wellness and my own well-being, I cannot be well to provide for others in all those other capacities. And so, as an entrepreneur, one of the things I would have to say you know, when you talk about individuals, you know seeing your success, and they think that it happens overnight one, it takes a lot of persistence, it takes a lot of discipline, it takes a lot of self-confidence and self-motivation, but also, you know, it's taken realizing that there were times where I didn't get to go out and be with my friends or I couldn't go to maybe everything I wanted to be a part of with my children, that sometimes mommy had to be away on the weekend because I was at a speaking engagement. Or, you know, I'm doing this fundraising event, and so there's sacrifices that have to be made and individuals that you are in relationship with whether it's your spouse, your children or significant other, your employees you have to realize that they're also having to give up some things.

Speaker 3: 19:37

And it's not the goal is not for it to be long term right.

Speaker 3: 19:40

The goal is for some of that to definitely be temporary season, sometimes that you have to go through, but it's understanding and realizing that in order for me to get to where I need to be at, or in order to get this organization where it needs to go, these are some things that I'm going to have to be willing to do and I have had to be intentional with having those conversations with the individuals that I have relationships with, Like I said, whether it's my children as a mom, whether it's my parents, because I support my parents a lot with their health care. You know so different ways and I would say that I show up Oftentimes. I have to communicate realistic expectations around what I can and cannot do. I have to create realistic boundaries, and I have to. Again, at the end of the day and it's not a selfish thing at all I have to always consider myself and what is it that I need so that I can fully show up for everyone and everything that I am responsible for on a day to day basis? To me, that's harmony.

Speaker 2: 20:52

Yes, yes, I mean phenomenal information, and I don't do the work like balance either, and I have to find a way that it works for me, and everybody is different on what works for you. So the thing I would say is don't try to take someone else's blueprint and make it apply to your life. I mean, like every house has its own blueprint. Even though they may look exactly the same, sometimes there's some nuance about it that's different. So please, please, have your own blueprint for your life, your lifestyle and all the relationships that's important to you.

Speaker 2: 21:18

So, one of the things that's always a challenge you're looking at leadership and you think about. You know I can do this. How do you get to the place that you know you can't do it by yourself and you have to hire people, because when you start this journey, you think I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it, and before you know what, you're burnt out. How did you know when it was time for you to bring somebody else on board to begin to help you and let them carry your baby? And we know that's not easy. It's your dream, it's your vision, it's your baby, but your baby will not be able to become who they can if you don't use some other teachers and some other people help out. How do you like? Let go and delegate and empower.

Speaker 3: 21:54

Absolutely Well. That definitely took a mentor To helping me, to helping me get there, and it also took, you know, having a realistic conversation and looking at where, in particular if I was to think about the hive right, we were in a place where I literally was doing everything. I was the executive director, I was the victims advocate, I was the grant writer and the fundraiser, I was doing the communications, I was doing it and I was tired. I was tired, I was stretched thin, and so I did it caught me.

Speaker 2: 22:36

It definitely did.

Speaker 3: 22:40

And so I began to, over time, just delegate. And my first volunteer I didn't even have. So it was such a thing where it's like the universe and God knew like, okay, you need help, you need help. Yes, so I have to look for the individual, right Like Dr Katrina Hutchins Hutchins, and she came to me with a volunteer she's also a mentor of mine. She said, actually, I have someone who is excited, I've told them about you and they want to volunteer for the organization. And that was my first volunteer. And I began to slowly just unpack things, whether it was administrative, whether it was social media, but even that was still different, right, like having volunteers. From then, when I actually hired a staff member and I would refer to my Philandepin partnership officer Chio she's been with us the longest and because she started supporting me around fundraising and grant writing, I really had to say, okay, ashley, you got to trust somebody else to work.

Speaker 2: 23:43

Wait, wait, wait. Let's unpack that. Ashley, I know you want to do a drive by. I know you got this all in here. You ready to roll?

Speaker 3: 23:49

When it's all yours.

Speaker 2: 23:50

You know the vision and it's all your brand, your reputation. Everything is about around what you're developing. You still got a word that people struggle with. How do I trust people to carry my vision? What did you do to trust her? I mean, because sometimes you get in your own way and you slow your company down and your progress down because you won't trust Right. What did you actually do to start beginning to trust her?

Speaker 3: 24:12

So one. I think that, as an employer, right, it's important that when you are seeking out individuals, recruiting individuals to hire to become a part of your organization, you hire and you bring on individuals that you truly believe align with the culture of the organization. That is probably the one of the most important components of being an employer and hiring individuals, because anybody can have the experience, but everybody isn't going to be a great match for your organization because they may not align with the culture, the values, the principles, who the organization is as an entity. And so being intentional about that was one thing, but then also looking at myself as a leader and saying, if challenging myself to believe that if you bring on someone and you provide them with the support, the resources and the access to you that they're going to need, why can't this person not do the job? Yes, they already have the skills. You wouldn't hire them if they didn't have the skills right. So now I need to do my part.

Speaker 1: 25:34

So, really, I had to get out of my own way.

Speaker 3: 25:39

Right. I actually had to get out of her own way in order to provide this person with the support and the tools and the resources that they needed, so that they could then run with it, because that's essentially what micromanaging is is when you don't trust the individual to be able to fulfill and do the job.

Speaker 2: 26:03

It shows up all the time too. Ashley, the reason I spent time there is because we know how valuable this is. We know how important it is, we know how connected you are with it. But it's like taking your kid to kindergarten for the first day and wanting to stay in the classroom because you don't trust the teacher Right and expect for the kid to learn. And so we get it. We understand it, we know how important it is.

Speaker 2: 26:22

But if it's that important, make the right hiring decision and then get out of the way, like really you're that person of permission to do what you hired them to do, without hovering over them, and I call it helicopter leader, like they're always just looking over your shoulder, looking over your shoulder, or they're giving up the whole recipe. You'll be amazed, if you trust them and power them, providing resources, how much further they'll take you and I'll tell leaders to be able to get out of the way of that for your organization, for the people you're serving, to allow them to help you serve more people. I want to pivot a little bit for you. When you think of being an entrepreneur taking care of you, what one of the pitfalls you fell into. Because sometimes we think we can burn the count on both ends and we're looking real good in the world, but inside we're not doing well. Had that ever happened, and how did you get yourself back on track?

Speaker 3: 27:10

I think, that for me it was definitely trying to do all things and trying to be everywhere. So I'm a former military spouse and so for the last four and a half years I have been raising my children while their father was stationed in a completely different state, and so I was doing a lot, and so I had to realize that I not only needed the support and the help of expanding and hiring the staff I was. One thing I want to pause and say is that when I started the Hive, I was in a very blessed position. I was married during that time and was in a position where I did not have to work. I wanted to work but I didn't have to work, and by that I mean I didn't have to bring an income at the time, and so it allowed me to be able to do a lot. But then it got to a place of where the strain was. It was not just the strain was so much, but it was time for the organization to grow and this individual. They're no longer present.

Speaker 3: 28:17

They passed during the height and peak of COVID, but it was my accountant, tamika Bell, who said to me. She said, ashley, you got to start paying yourself. I said, no, I'll pay somebody else before I pay me. I just want to make sure that we just say no, ashley, you got to invest in you. The moment that you begin investing in yourself, this organization is going to take off and grow. Everything else is going to fall into place. And I got on payroll. That was in 2019, before, like I said, before, covid hit. And she was right.

Speaker 3: 28:51

Everything began to gradually open up and then COVID came and I had two team members on staff and I said, okay, well, covid is here. This organization has to stay afloat. We got to keep going, but now I'm teacher at home, doing remote teaching. Right, I'm school nurse. I can't do all of this, and so I decided at that time I have very close friends who live in the Northeast and they said we have an au pair, you really need to consider getting one. And I was like well, I'm not, I don't want someone living with me and I don't know about someone in my private space like that, you know, in my home and, ron, honestly, it was probably the best decision that I could have made, and this individual is now still a part of my life, still a part of my children's life. It was a great culture experience because she's South African, but I invested in my family, I invested in myself, and that taught me something it taught me that we are worth paying and investing in convenience.

Speaker 3: 30:04

So, you know, though, I haven't been to a place and I'm grateful and I thank God where my health became an issue and that made me, you know, make adjustments in my life as a mother. I was stretched and I was stressed, and I had to challenge myself and say okay, ashley, you now have your two income household. You have to be willing to pay for what's convenient, not for what feels good. Right, it may not look good going out your checking account, but is it giving you the emotional relief that you need? Right, and the support that you need? And so, you know, for me, again, it was investing in that, and that's something I continue to reinforce into my life today. Oftentimes, I will pay for convenience. It doesn't have to make sense to a lot of people at all, but if it's going to relieve me and light in my load and make things easier for me to be able to navigate, that's really important, you know, really quick there.

Speaker 2: 31:08

Ashley, I'm glad that you're making the statement. Invest in yourself, yes, and oftentimes I've noticed that people want other people to invest, but when it's their turn to. And I struggled with it initially when I hired a coach and they told me you know what they were going to charge me, and I was so spoiled that everything had been taken care of. I'm a veteran and all my services, all my medical care. I never really had to pay for that stuff. And the first time I, when I retired, I had to pay for a coach and they gave me the number. I'm like you can loss your mind. I ain't paying you for that. Get out of here. I'm going to pay you for what? And it's good. My wife you know real me.

Speaker 2: 31:40

Back in, she says well, honey, can you learn it without that person? I'm like no, not really. I'll figure it out. I'll look at some YouTube videos. I find a way out. I'll beg, borrow and steal whatever that is. She says do you have another way to really learn this? I said nah, can she help you? I said yeah. She said we'll write the check.

Speaker 3: 31:58

That's it.

Speaker 2: 31:59

I just need you to invest in you. You put support so much into other people and that was a mental mindset for me. Invest in you. You're asking everybody else. Now it's your turn. So if you're listening to us and you're paying attention to us, to be as good as you need to be, you're going to have to invest in yourself. You're going to have to have a mentor, you're going to have a circle around you and it's okay to pay for convenience if it frees you up to have emotional support. So what Ashley is sharing and what she's talking about is so important that, like all the things we're sharing and I could talk to Ashley for hours about this conversation, but I want to take it to an opportunity to do a rapid fire questions, if you will.

Speaker 2: 32:33

Fun. So when you think of vacations, would you rather go to the mountains or to the beach? To the beach, to the beach? Okay. So if you had to travel and it was a long trip, would you take a bus or would you take a train? I would take a train, you would take a train. So if you're going out and you want to have a meal, is it burgers or is it pizza? If you eat meat. So I'm not sure if you do, but if you had to pick burgers or pizza, what would you pick?

Speaker 3: 33:04

Oh, that's the hard one. If you were to say french fries, I would have just chose the fries, no meat at all. But if I had to choose between burgers and pizza, I'm going for the burger.

Speaker 2: 33:16

Yes, yes, those fries do get people in trouble all the time. Yeah, yeah, those fries. So let's look at public transportation Uber or Lyft, uber, uber, okay, awesome Game cocks or tigers.

Speaker 3: 33:35

Tigers, tigers.

Speaker 2: 33:36

Let's go basketball, yes.

Speaker 3: 33:37

Football Tigers all the way. I'm a Tigers and girls Basketball USC.

Speaker 2: 33:44

Awesome, awesome. So my final question, just for the rapid fire, and this is more of you sharing a little bit more about yourself If you had all the money in the world and finances were not at issue or concern outside of the hive, what nonprofit would you donate to?

Speaker 3: 34:01

I would say can I choose to? Absolutely, I've always been a rule breaker.

Speaker 2: 34:09

So yeah, no rules, we break the rules here.

Speaker 3: 34:12

This is like never been a rule follower. That's my life. Two organizations One is local, one organization is turn 90. They're located in Columbia, south Carolina, and I am a part of leadership Columbia and I had the opportunity to visit turn 90 about two months ago. They're an organization that works with formerly incarcerated men, providing them with workforce development as they are transitioning out. They assist them with a job and then help them with being able to attain a full-time job, either through the nonprofit because they have a print company or through one of organizations or an employment company that they partner with.

Speaker 3: 34:59

And when I went, I was so moved and I was so impacted by the men there who talk just I mean, really it was all around like emotional regulation and emotional intelligence and they utilize this model and steps. That really challenges you to like, if you've never done critical thinking, it's going to challenge you to exercise your own critical thinking. And for people that may be watching or listening to me, you know they may be thinking to themselves. Well, who doesn't know how to critically think as an adult and who doesn't have emotional regulations? You know, as an adult, a lot A lot.

Speaker 2: 35:40

Just turn on the television. Yeah, turn on the television. You will see every day.

Speaker 3: 35:43

Talk to an HR department. Yes, yes, they will tell you. And so I just was so moved by their stories, by their life story, by the way that this organization has impacted their life and where they are today that I was just. I was moved to tears by their stories. For some of them who have been interacting with the criminal justice system since they were the age of eight, and so to see where a lot of these men are today, it was truly an inspiration. So turn 90 would be one.

Speaker 3: 36:19

And another organization is actually this organization out of Lagos, nigeria, where I had the opportunity to visit as a part of as an Aspen fellow last spring, and the organization is called Chichayara Foundation and they work with women and, well, all individuals who have experienced domestic violence, and children who have experienced domestic violence and sexual assault, and they have a shelter for the children and it's an amazing organization.

Speaker 3: 36:51

I fell in love with the children on my first.

Speaker 3: 36:53

Very well, I've only been there one time, but my being there with them for only probably like two hours.

Speaker 3: 36:59

The kids wrote me letters and they were just so grateful to see me, to have me there, and it just made me realize how, you know, sometimes we can think that our acts of kindness are just showing up, doesn't really make a big deal or a big difference in someone's day or someone's life.

Speaker 3: 37:20

But we never know someone's situation or their circumstances. We don't know what it took for them to even get up and show up for themselves. And so when we choose to show up for ourselves, we are naturally showing up for others. And so just to receive the love that I did for those children because I didn't come with anything but a big smile and a warm heart and that was it, but they poured into me so much that it moved me to tears just to know how grateful they were that I took the time out of my day to spend time with them and to come and to see where they were living their lives at currently. So those would be two organizations where, if money was of no value and not just a hive, of course, because it will always be my baby that I definitely would support.

Speaker 2: 38:09

Awesome, awesome, phenomenal information. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being here with us. How do people reach you? If someone wanted to reach out and make contact of whether it's the hive or just learn more from you and about you, what's the best way for people to contact you?

Speaker 3: 38:22

Yes, so individuals can contact me if it's about the hive. Our website is wwwthehiveccorg. We're on Instagram as well as on Facebook under the hive CC. If they wanted to connect with me, you can find me on LinkedIn under my last name, Ashley Allayinka, which is spelled O-L-A-Y-I-N-K-A.

Speaker 2: 38:47

Yes, yes, Thank you. So much. Phenomenal conversation and I want to close out. For everyone that's watching and listening, we're actually really closed out at the end. It's keep showing up. You never know whose day you're going to make Leaders. Just keep showing up. You'll be amazed of what people have gone through and just your presence helps people make it through another day. So keep showing up and don't take for granted that your presence doesn't matter. It really does.

Speaker 2: 39:09

Again, this is Ron Harvey with Unpacked with Ron Harvey podcast. We release every single Monday a different episode for you to be able to follow us and listen to us and learn from us. We hope that we said something today that added value that makes a difference, that's going to make you more effective, more equipped to be the leader that you desire to be and the leader that your people need you to be. So thank you all for joining us and until next time we're going to sign off with you today. Please tell your friends, your family members and all your colleagues about Unpacked with Ron Harvey. Every single Monday we release the episode. You can reach me at our Harvey at gcsconsultingcom. I'll always go to our website at Global Core Strategies and Consulting. We love to have a relationship and we love to be able to support you and be in a partnership. Again, thank you for joining us and you guys have a wonderful day.

Speaker 1: 39:52

Well, we hope you enjoy this edition of Unpacked podcast with leadership consultant Ron Harvey. Remember to join us every Monday as Ron Unpacked's sound advice and providing real answers for real leadership challenges. Until next time, remember to add value and make a difference where you are, for the people you serve, because people always matter.