Interlude: Phrases

Interludes are short segments between regular episodes with no editing but WITH leather creaking. It's a chance to hear a little more about what's going on in my life. Here's what my host's AI has to say about this episode:

Ever wondered how a simple phrase can transform the dynamics of a relationship? On this episode of Full Cow, Edge takes you on an insightful journey into the language of the leather kink and BDSM community. Explore how phrases like "I'm going to put you in your place" and "I got you" can profoundly affirm identity and foster deep emotional connections within power dynamics. Through personal reflections and real-life anecdotes, the episode uncovers the layers of meaning and powerful resonance these words carry for both dominants and submissives, enhancing intimacy and trust in their relationships.

But it's not all about kink! Edge also shares his excitement over the latest technology releases, including the iPhone 16 Pro and Apple Watch Ultra 2, and their potential to elevate social media content creation. While Florida's blistering heat has put a damper on leather activities, new features from Spotify and Buzzsprout offer fresh ways to engage with listeners and enhance the podcasting experience. Tune in for an engaging blend of kink, personal expression, and cutting-edge technology that shows how these elements intersect to enrich our creative pursuits and community bonds.

Chapters

• 0:00 Powerful Phrases in BDSM Communication
• 10:58 Excitement for New Technology and Communication

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Full Cow, a podcast about leather kink and BDSM. My name is Edge, my pronouns are he, him, and I'm your host. Welcome to another interlude, the episode between episodes, offered raw and unedited, but with Langlitz leather creaking, you know, as my Langlitz breaks in, it creaks less and less so. Unfortunately, the creaking may eventually become a thing of the past. In this interlude I wanted to focus on particular phrases I use with boys that have levels of meaning that I think are very powerful, and I thought this would be useful to share so that you may choose to use them or that you may reflect on your own special go-to phrases and the depths of meaning in them. You know, one of the things we do as a community really excellently is communicate, and you know I'm a gay man, I come from a gay community. That is often about here's a dick pic, here's a whole pic, let's hook up, boom. But in kink we spend a lot of time talking about interest, experiences and limits, and I think that communication has the potential to foster connection and intimacy, which are really critical for me. I'll also say that I had planned and may yet plan to do a video series on these phrases on my social media Instagram and Twitter I refuse to call it X. I've not been doing a lot on either platform lately, you know, and part of that is I just haven't thought of a whole lot to say lately. And then the other part of it is and I'm pretty sure I've shared this. You know, and those of you who really know me are probably tired of hearing this, but being single begins to wear on me sometimes and it just sort of limits my pool of abundant energy. I love being in a relationship. I find that having a partner really helps it's like a spare battery for me as an introvert and that their love and support can really help me tackle projects. So I'm also kind of happy being single. I have a beautifully blessed life, and so I don't want to belabor that point too much, except to say that I am aware that it is one of the reasons I'm backing off from social media. But here you go. Here's a beautiful interlude on this topic.

Speaker 1: 2:25

The phrase I've been thinking about a lot is I'm going to put you in your place, and normally that is a very sort of phrase with a lot of negative connotation and if we think about it in the wider cultural usage, it's often deployed by people in power to punish those who cross lines of class, race, sex, gender, wealth. When you step into the wrong place, where they think you don't belong, they say I'm going to put you in your place, which often is under them, and obviously we play a lot with power dynamics and there's some element of that. But I think what makes it a powerful phrase when I use it with boys is that it is inherently about two things I see you, I see what you are and you have a place in my world. I know what your place is and I'm going to put you where you belong at my boots. There's so much hunger I find in men that I encounter to just be seen. I was speaking with a local potential boy today who really looks like a daddy and if you're very tall or if you're very built or if you're of a certain age, you have this problem that you may identify as a boy and everybody wants you to be daddy. Just the fact that I could name him as boy and call him as boy and see him as boy was extremely powerful for him the fact that I could see him and that in my world he has a place and that I have the skills, the experience and the equipment to put him where he belongs. That sense of belonging is so vital for all of us, for all of us and for us to interact in ways where we belong with each other. Super powerful.

Speaker 1: 4:36

The other phrase I've been thinking about a lot and I use this all the time with my sort of primary submissive, and that is I got you, and this has so many beautiful meanings. I got you is a way of saying I understand you. It's another way of affirming I know who you are, I see you, I understand your submission. It's that I got you like yeah, yeah, I got you, I got you, I know what you're talking about, I got you. It's that kind of I got you. And then there's the second layer of I got you, I got you, I know what you're talking about, I got you. It's that kind of I got you. And then there's the second layer of I got you. I'm going to make sure you don't fall. I'm going to be there to catch you. I'm going to be there to support you. I'm going to be there to lift you up in your submission to the greatest success you can have. I've got you, so you don't have to do this alone, you don't have to worry, you don't have to fear, you don't have to overthink I got you. And then there's the beautifully sort of twisted, deliciously evil part of I got you, you're not going anywhere, because I worked and I ensnared you and I entrapped you and I baited it my trap, and now you're mine and I got you.

Speaker 1: 5:51

I think he likes that last meaning the most. I love all of them. I love the richness of the phrase and we often he started throwing it back to me that he'll, you know when I'm going through something, he'll say I got you. And I know that it means all those things as well, and so it's a really beautiful coded way for us to express our support for one another. Those are the two I've been thinking about the most.

Speaker 1: 6:13

Obviously, good boy is a super, super powerful phrase. I use it quite often, but I don't use it without cause. So it's not. You only get a good boy from me if there's a reason, and sometimes it might seem automatic and I will say, like a lot of times, it's my impulse to just say good boy in response to a lot of things. But anyone, if I call them good boy and if they asked what was good, I would be able to explain to them in that moment the thing they did that I thought was good. And if you are submissive or if you are boy identified and I don't I want to be careful not to make this too universal. However, in my experience, it is nearly universal that that phrase good boy will really hit a special place in your soul. Maybe some other places in your body, but it will hit a place in your soul.

Speaker 1: 7:15

Now, the phrase I never, ever use with boys is I'm disappointed. It is an incredibly destructive thing to say to a boy. It is perhaps from my experience, what boys live in fear of the most. So even if there's a situation where I feel like, wow, this boy did not meet my expectations, I'm not going to express that by saying I'm disappointed. I'm going to say I had some different expectations. Obviously there's a mismatch here. Let's sit down, let's communicate and things like that. So I'm disappointed is the phrase I will never, ever, ever use. Let me make sure I can stand by that conviction. Yeah, no, I can stand by that conviction. I'm just too aware of the emotional damage it can do because I've been on the receiving end of it and it really wrecked me. It completely wrecked me when someone said that to me in the context of a scene, and so that is not something I want to inflict, want to inflict Beyond that.

Speaker 1: 8:24

If you've ever chatted with me in any format, I often say noted or duly noted, and on the face of it this is again, has a certain richness. So on the face of it it's a way of saying, yes, okay, I heard you, I've paid attention to that, but it has this sort of judicial aspect to it. Right, that sort of places me in this position of power, taking official notes or the court record and what you've said has been duly noted in the record. It is also sometimes not with every boy, but if you're a boy that we are developing a relationship. I literally start taking notes because my memory is only so resilient and I want to remember what you're into, what you're not into. What's the name of your dog, where did you grow up? When's your birthday, what's your favorite food, what kind of snacks do you like? I will query you and I will literally note these things, because if I do not note them, I will not remember them.

Speaker 1: 9:25

Now I must also admit that a lot of times when I say noted or duly noted, it is also a way of expressing the fact that they have how do I want to say this, how do I want to say this? Sometimes people come to me and are really expressive of their desires and don't often make room for my own desires. So sometimes when I say noted or duly noted, it's a way of saying I've heard you, but that's really all about you and I exist, so I'm just going to note that, but I'm not going to act on it or respond to it in any way. I'm not exactly passive, aggressive. In that moment I'm certainly not aggressive, but I just find it the best way to kind of for me, protect a certain boundary around my available energy that I'm not going to engage things just because they're expressing a desire, but I'm going to listen to their desire, I'm going to make note of it, but I'm probably not going to act on it. Probably not. And here's what, oh goodness, you know if you chat with me. Here's the problem you can never be quite sure. If I mean duly noted, I've written that in my phone in the notes app and I will be acting on it. Or duly noted, I'm never going to do that.

Speaker 1: 10:58

I suppose there are some contextual clues and I would like to think that if I am pressed on it, I will answer honestly. I can't entirely promise that, because, you know, a sadist has to have a little bit of mystery and a little bit of reserve. At least I would like to think that. Think about the phrases that really hit you, that resonate for you, whatever your identification on the kink spectrum, and then think about the phrases you go to, that are places of comfort, safety for you, or that you end up using a lot. And I really want to encourage you to think about the power of the words you say and the levels of meaning. I think the richness of our language and the way we communicate with each other creates nuances that open up spaces for special kinds of intimacy that are available through kink. That's all I have to say about phrases.

Speaker 1: 11:57

Now the other thing actually, this whole interlude was originally going to be on technology, because you know the interludes are about hey, edge, what's going on in your leather life right now? And right now there's nothing going on in my leather life. I'm in Florida. It is hot AF. The couple of times I've convinced myself to go out in gear like, oh, it just rained and there's no sun, oh, it's at night, oh, it's only 82. I go out in gear like, oh, it just rained and there's no sun, oh, it's at night, oh, it's only 82. I go out in gear, minimal gear, and then I am miserable. I am soaking wet, miserable. So I've not been doing hardly anything connected to my leather life. So that was going to be like, oh my God, what do I do for the interload? The thing that's going on in my life right now isn't leather, it's technology, because yesterday Apple released iOS 18, and tomorrow, friday the 20th, I will be picking up my new iPhone 16 Pro and my new Apple Watch Ultra 2.

Speaker 1: 12:55

Now, if you are very close to me, you may already know that I'm a huge Apple geek fanboy are very close to me. You may already know that I'm a huge Apple geek fanboy, and I don't mean to disparage other technology ecosystems. Whether you are a Google slash Android user or if you're big on Alexa, whatever choice you make is yours and in fact, you know my primary submissive has a Google Home and I've been able to witness that Google fails as often as Siri. So, in terms of smart home ecosystems. I kind of feel like they're all kind of wonky squonky at this point, so pick whatever one makes you happy. But there's something about Apple that I just love, and I think it's because it makes me feel cool. I will admit it makes me feel cool.

Speaker 1: 13:50

I'm excited for the iPhone 16. I'm sorry, iphone 16 Pro because I'm starting to be curious about its video capabilities. Now, obviously, for a couple of generations now, iphone's been really able to shoot in 4K blah, blah, blah, cinematic shift focus, blah, blah, blah, and that's great. But this new iPhone 16 has four microphones and has now the capability to change the sound environment in a video, and I'm very curious what possibilities that might open for me in the videos I do for Instagram and Twitter. I refuse to call it X. Will I be able to do something where I'm walking towards the camera but my voice is still clear? Am I going to be able to do something, maybe out in a leather environment and talking to the camera and my voice is still clear? Still clear. So I'm going to be very curious in testing out what this technology enables me to do with my videos and my podcast. Speaking of the other reason, I'm kind of excited about new technology, besides the fact that I'm a geek and I love new technology.

Speaker 1: 14:56

I just got an email today from Spotify and now there's a feature where you can kind of put videos or video podcasts with your audio episode in Spotify, and I haven't looked at it very closely. I think the idea for them is replace an entire audio episode with an entire video episode, and that just feels a little excessive to me. You know I am often scrambling to put episodes together or I'm doing a segment one weekend and the next segment the other no. But as I play around with the new video recording capabilities of the iPhone 16 Pro, I am curious. It would be interesting to have little video introductions to episodes on Spotify. This is something I need to think about and explore because, since it's Spotify specific, it would be an extra layer of labor and I don't know how much I want to undertake that.

Speaker 1: 15:49

But the other way of thinking about what I'm expressing here is that new toys make me excited about entering into the social media world again and contributing more content again. So really everybody wins. It's like oh, I've got a new iPhone, I want to try out the video. Let me make some videos for Instagram. Oh, I want to try a video at Leatherworks where we're doing shopping together, so I want to take advantage of the audio blah, blah, blah. So all of you win. When I get a new toy as well, because I want to play with it and play with it in ways that contribute to my creative outlet, and one of my creative outlets is this podcast and the social media associated with it. Speaking of this podcast and speaking of technology, my podcast host, buzzsprout, now also has a new fan mail feature. That's something I might explore as well. Of course I have the speak pipe and of course I have email. I don't really know how convenient fan mail would be in relation to either of those, but the way they suggested using it is toss out a question at the start of an episode and tell listeners to go answer it on the fan mail and then the next episode, you can review the answers. I like that suggestion of more interaction with all of you, so that's something I might explore as well. And so let me wrap up this interlude Phrases powerful, powerful phrases with multiple meanings.

Speaker 1: 17:15

What are yours? Technology Edge loves new toys. He plays with them in ways that benefit the social media landscape and therefore, you and that, my friends, is the totality of this interlude. Thank you so much for joining me. It really does mean quite a bit for me, and always, I hope that your leather journey is progressing in ways that help you become more of the person you are meant to be, more of the person you desire to be. See you soon. No, I won't see you soon because I'm on a podcast. You will hear me soon.