The Good Enough Mompreneur Podcast Interview with Anne-Sophie Reinhardt
[00:00:00] Angela: I am so delighted to have Anne Sophie Reinhardt on the podcast today. Welcome to the podcast.
[00:00:06] Anne-Sophie: Thank you so much, Angela, for having me. It's really exciting to be on and to talk with you today.
[00:00:12] Angela: Thank you. I think you were doing exciting work that I am really looking forward to showcasing in this episode because I have done almost a hundred interviews and I've never had a guest kind of focus on a mind body connection, especially as a mind, body, and leadership coach.
[00:00:34] So I'm excited to dive into that topic.
[00:00:40] Anne-Sophie: It is a good one. Yes.
[00:00:42] Angela: Yeah. So first, can you set the stage for us on what you do and how you got started doing it?
[00:00:49] Anne-Sophie: Sure. So so many of your guests, I feel like I stumbled into this thing because of life. Because of my story. I [00:01:00] am the middle child of a.
[00:01:03] White, to do family in, in Germany, was born and raised in Germany. And although on the outside, everything was great, very successful. Everyone was perfect on the inside. Our family life was quite different. There was a lot of violence, a lot of very dysfunctional dynamics, and I coped with what was going on by turning against myself and my body.
[00:01:30] And when I was nine years old, I started my first diet that led into a 15 year long battle with anorexia and other eating disorders. It's on and off and up and down and but for 15 years, these eating disorders were the main focus of my life. And in 2010, I hit rock bottom, I had met a wonderful man, I was in my early 20s.
[00:01:57] And I thought, oh my god, he's gonna be my [00:02:00] savior. This guy is gonna take all the pain away. And it did not happen, surprise but through him. I realized that I had to save myself, and that nobody else could save me and could take my pain away. And back in the, that was in 2010, and I sometimes struggle to think back to this time because we did not talk about eating disorders.
[00:02:26] The way we talk about them now. It was, I did not have a lot of information. So for most of my life, I didn't know that this was a thing that other people did to or other teenagers felt. But. You know through social media and people opening up more, I felt okay I'm being understood right there are other women and other, unfortunately, other women, other men who are feeling the same way and.
[00:02:54] It was at the same time that I found podcasts and that I started to [00:03:00] engage with a community of podcasters. And I went into healing. I went through different psychiatrists and therapies and in treat in inpatient treatment and, all of these things. And when I found a coach that was when healing really happened for me.
[00:03:21] And one thing led to the other and I was like, okay I'm talking about my journey on podcasts. People are listening to this. They're asking me questions and I decided. I want to be a coach, so that was all these years ago I went through different trainings and really wanted to dig into this mind body connection.
[00:03:46] What makes us not just turn against ourselves and our bodies, what makes us feel so disconnected, what makes us hate on ourselves so much, right? And you don't have to have an eating [00:04:00] disorder. Far from it, unfortunately, again, to hate on your body, to be disconnected from everything you are, which is not just a mind, but it's also not just a body.
[00:04:14] And yes, for 14 years now, I have really studied the connection that. That we have or don't have and how we can actually gain it back once it's lost. And, over the years I had a son, I'm a single mom. I was fortunate enough to be part of a company here in Germany where I'm the COO.
[00:04:40] So I have gained a lot of leadership A lot of experience in leadership over, over the years. And I just really found it fascinating how these two concepts, the mind body connection and women in leadership work together because so [00:05:00] often when I talk with women who are very successful, women who have teams, women who are powerful, who are out there, who present themselves, the topic of leadership.
[00:05:13] Diet, weight loss, body image comes up in out of it's always there. If it's not the first topic, it's the second or the third and, I really wanted to. Make an impact in that area where I feel like we women stand in our own way. And there's a lot of pain there and there's a lot of insecurity there.
[00:05:35] And I always just imagine what it would be like if we could heal that, if we could, shed these layers of fear and be all that we are, just imagine how powerful we could be in leadership and leadership for me is. So different. You're a leader. If you are a mom of, a stay at home mom of whatever, how many children, if you are a teacher, if you are [00:06:00] this oh CEO of a company it takes on so many different forms.
[00:06:04] But if we can really connect with our body beyond our weight and beyond our looks, just imagine how much more we could change this world. And so that is how I happened to become a mind body. Leadership coach.
[00:06:22] Angela: Yeah, I'm trying not to tear up right now because that is a remarkable story, not only for your persistence in finding an answer you didn't accept feeling the way that you did.
[00:06:40] And so many people do. They don't realize that there is a way to feel and be better. But also to stand on the shoulders of what you went through to help other people heal. It's really incredible. And we definitely need more people doing [00:07:00] that because, I've had to do that work myself from a trauma perspective.
[00:07:06] I would love to hear your thoughts. If somebody's listening and going, how do I know if I am not connected? Like how can we begin, what are some of the clues that women can really go maybe I need to do some healing work because from the training I've done, our brain is really tricky about hiding the fact that we need to heal from us because it protects us.
[00:07:37] Anne-Sophie: Yeah, absolutely. And it's all about this protection, right? Like I shared my. My eating disorder was my coping skill to survive what had happened. So I'm very grateful that my brain was able to find a strategy to get me through this time. It was not a very healthy one, but at least it kept me going and had me focus on [00:08:00] something.
[00:08:01] So I always start with, some of the bigger. In quotes more obvious issues so I feel like oftentimes we limit our lives in certain way when we're disconnected so that may be you don't go out with friends anymore suddenly you are you don't have friends anymore like for me I had nobody because everything and so many of my clients they're so focused on a certain Thing, whether it's the career or body, but, we limit ourselves.
[00:08:33] We say no to things we usually would have loved doing. We we don't find pleasure anymore and pleasure in simple things, right? That might be a hug, like when we are disconnected from others. It often can feel almost dangerous or to, when someone wants to hug you, especially if you actually really care about that person as again, [00:09:00] contradictive as it is, these things, do you notice that you are behaving in a certain way and that takes a certain Level of self assessment.
[00:09:10] So oftentimes you will notice that, I don't feel like myself. I don't I don't have as much fun as I used to. I don't laugh as much. I can't remember the last time I actually had, laughed so hard that I cried or things like that, that are maybe not everyday occurrences. But when you look back and you assess the last months or years, you might say, Oh, that's really different than it used to be.
[00:09:37] And then there are the small things. Sometimes when I work with clients. I go and do a body scan with them. Sometimes it's really difficult for my clients to notice their toes to connect to their ankles. So maybe start with something like that. What do I actually notice when I say, okay, I'm going to focus on my big [00:10:00] toe on the big toe on my right foot.
[00:10:02] What is, what does that feel like? And. If you feel like, okay, that's a little bit freaky, I don't know, then maybe you want to go a little bit deeper into that. And I want to add another thing there. When you always diet or restrict food. Now that's very diet and body specific, but always denying yourself pleasure.
[00:10:26] When it comes to food or the other way around just over eating all the time to the point of, you're not enjoying this you're just you need to eat. Also, obviously big red flags that are often disguised as this was what women do because you know this is the way we live we're dieting all the time.
[00:10:46] It's just what you're supposed to do. Yeah it's
[00:10:51] Angela: not, it's actually not. No, and that's something I had to learn is I didn't realize after my childhood [00:11:00] trauma, you don't know what it's like to be connected to your body. You don't know. It feels actually really strange, right? That's why I think that this is so important because if you've been through a lot of trauma in your life, that You don't even remember what a sense of being connected with yourself actually feels like.
[00:11:25] You may not even know that other people don't dissociate,
[00:11:32] That because really being in your body, if you've been through, very traumatic situations over a long period of time can actually feel dangerous. So that's why you are not. You don't feel connected to your toes, for instance, or what's going around you.
[00:11:53] And it really leads to this sensation of, I remember [00:12:00] thinking other people had some kind of connection or something I didn't have, I didn't know what it was, but they had something I didn't. Does that resonate?
[00:12:10] Anne-Sophie: Yes. Yes. Sometimes when I remember being on. How do you call that with your entire class, you go on certain trips and whatever, overnight trips with school.
[00:12:23] And I would look at others and they were eating dinner, right? I would never like, and I was like how are they just, how is that normal? And you are absolutely right. Sometimes you're like. Why are they? How are they doing this? How is this right? You don't know that it's, it can be normal or, I don't like the term normal, but that this is something others experience because it's not your lived experience, right?
[00:12:52] And so how should you know? How are you supposed to know? You can't. So yeah, that resonates a [00:13:00] lot.
[00:13:00] Angela: I find it so interesting that you like to, you want your clients to embrace joy and peace and understand their self worth. But what do you say to that person who may be listening who just thinks that's for somebody else or it's elusive?
[00:13:21] I'm so happy that somebody who understands their self worth is listening, but I really want to reach out to those who may not be feeling worthy right now.
[00:13:32] Anne-Sophie: Yeah. I love this question. And first of all, I think that most of us have that little voice inside that says, Oh, maybe you're not worthy after all, or maybe not you.
[00:13:49] And I think it's, again, unfortunately with women, it's. It's there, even if we are honestly. Yes. And [00:14:00] because we're supposed to be humble and timid and you know stand back and don't be loud don't be abrasive don't have an opinion. So it's been taught. So I feel like the first step and this is, is that, all right, I'm not alone.
[00:14:16] This is not just me. Although I may think that, yeah, she's not saying this about everyone else, but myself. A lot of other women experience that. And this common humanity that has, again, that has a healing effect. And then it's this, I believe that if you can dream of something being different, if you can have this thought that maybe I can change whatever my life, my situation, the way I feel about myself, then you can actually do it.
[00:14:51] If the dream, if the thought is there, you can get to that, next level to that [00:15:00] goal. And then I say that. Like I have that. I still do. I had it all of my life. I have, that was one of the messages that I've heard all of my childhood, like women are nothing. You are not yet. You are nothing.
[00:15:15] It's always like women are the evil of the world. And so you need to allow your, yourself to have compassion for these voices for that sense of. I'm just not enough. I am just not, I don't have what it takes. Have compassion for that. And it's, almost having that motherly fatherly love that all encompassing love for yourself in this part.
[00:15:45] Knowing that, and this is me telling you, it's not true. It's not true that you are not deserving. It is not true that you are different, [00:16:00] right? That only you can't have that. I once worked with a coach and she was always. She always told me my clients come to me and they always say, the universe or God or whoever you believe in, hates me.
[00:16:12] And I was like, yes, I feel that way. And then she was like ha. Don't you think how special you are, right? Just how special are you that you are the chosen one that the entire universe is aligning against you. Now we made fun of that and that worked for me. But sometimes having that perspective, it's like, all right, turn it around.
[00:16:35] Why should I be the only one in the entireness of the universe that is undeserving, that is, so bad or whatever you want to label yourself, that I can't connect with myself, start to care about myself. And then you realize, all right, [00:17:00] maybe, just maybe I too can find that. That nugget of self worth.
[00:17:06] And once you have that little bit, you can work on that.
[00:17:10] Angela: I love that so much. Yeah, it's a really great perspective to try to begin to relax your thoughts around why you may not be feeling worthy, but oftentimes the next trap we can fall into is, is beating ourselves up for not feeling worthy, right?
[00:17:33] So talk to us about how it is not our fault and how the brain is just protecting us.
[00:17:43] Anne-Sophie: And there's this, one of the things that I early on was taught was using affirmations in order to find my self worth or to reconnect. Affirmations are great if you use them the right way, but oftentimes, [00:18:00] just saying to yourself, I am enough.
[00:18:02] I am worthy. I am good. I am like your brain is telling you, no, you're not. No, you don't. No. Yeah. Don't believe it. And so you start arguing, you start beating yourself up, you start feeling ashamed, or again, even less deserving, because it's not working. Yes, your brain connects to what it knows, right?
[00:18:26] Your brain always searches for everything it knows. And. You can't tell your brain something that it just does not believe just yet because of lived experience. But, You can meet your brain where it's at, and you can begin to say, all right, I don't believe deep down that I am worthy just yet, but I'm on my way to acknowledging that I too am a deserving human being.
[00:18:58] Again, working with your [00:19:00] language. And that is work that takes work and that takes a lot of awareness. It's not something that you're just going to snip and you have, little post it notes here and there, and it's going to work magically. No, you actively have to be aware of your thoughts and the feelings, and then you can reframe and rephrase and slowly begin to say, begin to affirm what you know, so that your brain feels.
[00:19:31] Safe, right? So that your body feels safe. So what we when I work with affirmations, for example, when I work with women who, who are just not there yet, we start with things that we know are true. I am. 36 years old. I live in this town. I have a child, right? So affirm the things that, all of these things, right?
[00:19:52] You may say, all right, I have such and such years of education. I have experience in this and that things that [00:20:00] might. Help you re realize, or maybe reconnect with, Oh, cool. I have done so many things. I actually have a lot of skills. I actually have a lot of meaningful experience. Say that, affirm that.
[00:20:16] And then slowly begin to say, all right, I don't believe that. I can't have, this company that I really want, I cannot build it, but I'm on my way to making sure that, that I get there. And that way you take your brain with you, you take your nervous system with you, you take, your entire body.
[00:20:38] At the same time right your body when again when your brain doesn't believe something your body is in a little bit of a stress response. And when you take your brain with you by being very compassionate you take your body into a more of a relaxed modus and then you can work together. So I find that works very well.
[00:20:59] Especially when [00:21:00] you work with such very tricky and intricate thoughts and feelings that run so deep, right? And that have a history of being with us.
[00:21:11] For many years.
[00:21:12] Angela: Yeah, I really love how you highlight that this is an ongoing process. It's not a destination. It's something we all have to endeavor to continue to get better at.
[00:21:26] It gets easier, I think. But it's something that we all have to consistently prioritize if we want to be the best version of ourselves, right? I don't know if you have any, and also, I love that you mentioned the nervous system because it is the most ignored thing that is so important that none of us know about.
[00:21:52] Yeah. Absolutely. Nervous system regulation should be life goals for everybody [00:22:00]
[00:22:00] Anne-Sophie: from like this.
[00:22:01] Angela: Exactly. Otherwise you're constantly in this reactive kind of. State that is just really dysregulated, but how, I don't know if you have any other practices that maybe you could share for us to begin to incorporate the mind and body if we're going, Oh, I need this.
[00:22:23] Anne-Sophie: Sure. One of the. Simplest and hardest ways of integrating body mind is through breath, right? And I say that at the beginning, always, and I acknowledge that It's one of the hardest things because when it's, not everyone comes from with a trauma background, but especially when you have been through trauma, your breath will, or your breathing will just be different and [00:23:00] taking a really deep breath is sometimes Incredibly scary and hard, but that it's the easiest and that you have your breath with you all the time.
[00:23:11] And I'm not a breath work teacher, but just, that's why I always say just one breath. I'm not going to teach you any elaborate breathing techniques, but just one deep breath can sometimes, and you can combine that, that with a centering thought if you like but you don't even have to.
[00:23:28] Sometimes though, when you feel like, Oh my God, my mind is just killing me right now with all of these thoughts, or I just feel so down. This breath, that's a savior. And then, and I want to say that if you can't take a deep belly breath, don't beat yourself up because it is Not always, although it's natural to us, it is not always the safest thing to do.
[00:23:57] Be gentle with yourself, but the, that is [00:24:00] the go to. That you can always have. And yes I love affirmations if you use them correctly and having one or two thoughts that you have that can anchor you in, in, in the here and now that always helps when you're in this, Oh, I don't know what I'm going to do.
[00:24:19] So for me, one of my favorite ones used to be I am safe. Because oftentimes I felt like inside, I didn't feel safe, like nothing was happening, but just my mind and so I would lie in bed and I would just tell myself, at the beginning, I didn't say I'm safe, but, I don't feel it right now, but I want to get to a point where I feel safe.
[00:24:42] So that just this. This word really anchored me and you may find, whatever works for you, but having one or two mantras or affirmations helps to center and then oftentimes when we're so disconnected from our body, [00:25:00] We don't really know where our bodies start and end. So touching yourself, like really just focusing on your touching your arms, your legs, and just feeling where does my body end?
[00:25:15] Where, what does it feel like? Where is that without judgment? Can the point of this exercise is not to be like, Oh my God, I need to change this with that. But just to re, reconnect with. These are my shoulders, right? These are my wrists. That. I love that one because we forget.
[00:25:32] Angela: Such great tips. I, it's, this conversation is so important. I just, I'm so glad that we connected to have it, honestly. So thank you. So let's say we're, this is starting to resonate with us okay, listeners are going, all right, this sounds like familiar. This seems like something I need to do.
[00:25:57] So can you talk about [00:26:00] how, when you begin to do this work to connect your mind and body, how does it impact our ability to lead others, which is so important as mothers, as entrepreneurs, you're an immediate. Leader which I don't think we realize but yeah, how does that impact us?
[00:26:21] Anne-Sophie: We are leaders and we're role models, right?
[00:26:24] Our children are watching us all the time. The first and I think the most important thing is you have one less thing that is Cluttering your mind, being a mom, being a CEO we have so many things that are going on here. There's all of these to do lists all of the lives we have to manage, right?
[00:26:47] And all of the things we need to accomplish. And if you have this Big mind clutter that is a little less cluttered and starts to be, like straight lines after a [00:27:00] while that relief is oftentimes it's I feel like I have a new life because it's just a lot of weight that is falling off your shoulders.
[00:27:11] Yeah. And so that alone is amazing. You have more clarity. You have less brain fog. You have this, all right, there's one less thing I need to care or carry. And then it's the, I often notice it in the posture of my clients, like, all right they, it's not like they walk straight or anything, but they take up more space.
[00:27:37] And I love seeing that. It's they're proudly taking up more space, owning their space. Because, you suddenly realize, or maybe not suddenly, but gradually realize that owning space and having a presence, being here is fantastic. [00:28:00] And when we. Work with our bodies and we bring our bodies with us into meetings into, times with our children.
[00:28:08] It isn't. That's why we're bringing in the word joy. It's not just more joyous, but so much more effective so much more powerful. So it's that, just whole body living. And those are the two things that impact. The most and after a while we work on specific situations where sometimes we disconnect, but I feel like these are two of the biggest ones and I want to really highlight the word joy because.
[00:28:42] It is so important. There's all these cliches out there. Life is short. You only live once, whatever you believe all of these things. But really, what is life if you don't experience joy, if you don't experience the joy of being with your children, of having a company, [00:29:00] of having, incredible clients of doing all this work, and if you have all of that, if you do all of that, but you feel like something is missing inside because you are not really, connecting mind body you're missing out.
[00:29:19] And I really feel and once you have that piece, it's the joy that is there in the everyday things. Not rainbow and sunshine all the time, but, it, there is this aspect of a little bit more,
[00:29:33] Angela: yeah,
[00:29:33] Anne-Sophie: happiness.
[00:29:35] Angela: Yeah. And just more presence and, I know at one point I didn't realize it, but I think the concept of joy was really audacious.
[00:29:44] That's for somebody else just so many things. So I think going back to our conversation, what can give you a hint that this is work you need to maybe focus on is just being curious [00:30:00] about not feeling that. Because, when you're feeling more connected, that comes naturally. And that joy is not necessarily something that happens to you.
[00:30:14] You can curate it, right? Which was mind blowing to me, absolutely mind blowing to me. I thought it was something that happened to you. And going back to what you said about having More mental clarity. I think for me, and going through this process, like, when your body is constantly seeking out threat and you feel under attack all the time, if you can see a visual, you have a small circle that's a window of tolerance.
[00:30:50] What you can handle. And as you begin to heal, that window of tolerance gets greater and greater. [00:31:00] You have a greater capacity to tackle those projects you've been putting off. You have a greater capacity to do all the things that you want to do, but you just don't know why you can't do them.
[00:31:16] Anne-Sophie: Yes.
[00:31:17] Yes. And I call this, going from a million pieces to joy, which is sometimes, we feel like. We're in a million pieces right our body mind all disconnected we're having all of these thoughts but nothing's really integrated and all, and yes, when you have that and you can
[00:31:40] life as a mom is stressful, where, it's just
[00:31:44] Angela: selling a lie that it's not absolutely right.
[00:31:48] Anne-Sophie: You never know what's gonna happen on that on a specific day. You never know.
[00:31:52] Angela: Yes.
[00:31:53] Anne-Sophie: So just having that, like you say, that capacity and that presence and a little bit more room [00:32:00] for others to also regulate others because we are also a little bit regulating our little one's nervous systems, right?
[00:32:09] We're also
[00:32:11] Angela: Absolutely. It starts at six weeks. Correct. We are constantly co regulating our nervous system with our children. And once you begin to master that, you can then have more tolerance for the craziness.
[00:32:32] Anne-Sophie: That's
[00:32:32] Angela: correct. And yes! You're not as affected by, the person who cuts you off, or
[00:32:40] Anne-Sophie: Exactly.
[00:32:40] And, I used to have a really short fuse and I would be and changed. It really did because I was grounded on a deeper level, if I may say that, it's just more in myself, I'm more sure of myself as well. And that [00:33:00] groundedness, I feel that is what kept me going.
[00:33:02] That allows you to be, all over the place with your children and businesses. Yeah, it's just a completely different. way of doing life.
[00:33:17] Angela: I know I could continue to talk to you for hours and hours, but we're coming up against time. If you want listeners to take away anything from this conversation, what would that be?
[00:33:32] Anne-Sophie: I've such a good question. It's not just you, I feel, and that just is not there to be in any way negating anything. But what you feel is something that so many others feel. And that does not mean that you're not unique and one of a kind, it just means that you are not alone in this experience. [00:34:00] And knowing that so many others have, I work with clients and they come to me and they say, I have these thoughts.
[00:34:12] Most of the time, these thoughts, I've heard them a million times before, because clients have told me and I have had them myself. Knowing that it's, you're not alone in this, and because you're not alone in this, you can get out of whatever it is that you're in, however you feel. However, weird or messed up or different, you may think your situation is,
[00:34:42] I guess, almost guaranteed there's another person that experiences some or has experienced something similar. And so knowing that you also know that there's another person who has made it out and not to put pressure on you, but. If someone else has [00:35:00] done it, you can too. I feel that is one of the most important things and that's why I talk about all of that too because the more open we are, the more others can know that I'm not the only one, right?
[00:35:15] Yeah, I guess That's the one message,
[00:35:17] Angela: right? I love it because your brain will tell you and make you feel isolated, but you're not. So anybody, if any of this is resonating, I just want to encourage you to reach out and connect with somebody who has a similar story because absolutely you're not alone.
[00:35:39] And there is so much hope. And even though you can't probably imagine what life Living differently than being in a reactive kind of place, it is so possible. And and Sophie, where can listeners connect with you and work with you [00:36:00] so you can help them live on another level in life?
[00:36:05] Anne-Sophie: Thank you again.
[00:36:07] You can go over to AnnaSophie. us. Forward slash good enough, that's A N E S O P H I E. U S forward slash good enough, and you will find All the information you will find a link to a quiz that you can take that will, if you're not sure, give you more clarity about, how you view yourself and how connected or you are with your body, with yourself.
[00:36:39] And there's also a link if you want to book a conversation with me, just to see if. If you want to work on this, if you want to, say, all right, I am ready to see how connected I actually can get with myself with my mind with my body. [00:37:00] And yes, hope is there and Angela, you just mentioned that.
[00:37:05] Some it's scary. Sometimes, and there's this one thing I wrote a blog post very early on in my journey that was called the new normal. And there are so many things That when you go on a journey, that is, connect because our body is so precious. That is all about our body image, all about the way, we think about ourselves.
[00:37:32] It's a delicate situation and there's so much that, that may scare you. But after a while, what used to scare you, what used to be so Different so completely out of the realm of possibilities. That is your new normal. And that is what now is the standard what just is and everything else that you did before I felt before will then feel.
[00:37:58] Oh, that was weird. And so [00:38:00] I go back to this concept so many times because yes, it is always scary. And. And. The next step will soon be familiar will soon be what just is.
[00:38:17] Angela: I love that you brought that up. It is very scary and it feels unsettling. But that's the work you have to go towards to create new connections, because trauma or whatever you've been through has altered the correct perception.
[00:38:39] It's altered your perception and so it is working on creating a new perception of yourself and your connection to the world around you.
[00:38:53] Anne-Sophie: Absolutely. And sometimes I'm like, I know that this work is deep. [00:39:00] Yeah. And I love to make it fun too. Yeah. I feel when we can laugh, when we can laugh not at ourselves but with ourselves in this process, if we can sometimes be like, oh my god, that is so silly.
[00:39:14] In all the seriousness. That brings a lot of healing to one of the best ways to start this is to, sometimes just be like, yeah this is on another level of silliness, but, yeah, so it is deep work and I try to make it as fun as possible.
[00:39:30] Angela: I love it. Thank you so much for this conversation.
[00:39:33] It's been fantastic. Thank you Anne- Sophie.
[00:39:37] Anne-Sophie: Thank you so much.