No Excuses Coaching with Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks

Leader Vibes: The 5 Qualities of an Impactful Coach

Ryan Montis & Alanna Banks Season 4 Episode 17

Our latest chat isn't just about guiding others; it's a deep dive into what makes a coach genuinely impactful.

This episode is an essential playbook for coaches aiming to harness their inner leader and make a genuine difference.

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Speaker 1:

Today. I thought it would be fun to talk about leadership in the coaching world, because I believe that you can create leadership right. Like people aren't just born to be a leader, I think that leadership is something that we can create and cultivate within ourselves. If that's something that we want to be and to be a coach, one would think you would have to be a leader if you're going to be leading other people. And if you're also going to be a coach who's leading other people, you need to be leading yourself and your own business. So I think if you're going to be a good coach, you need to have leader vibes, and that's what I want to talk about today.

Speaker 2:

I want to talk about salted nuts versus unsalted, which is better?

Speaker 1:

Well, I mean, we all know salted is better, but the healthier option is unsalted.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and that comes back to personal values. What do you value most Healthy food or delicious food?

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You know, I do, I do know it all comes back to dark chocolate versus milk chocolate.

Speaker 1:

Actually, you know what I made this afternoon. I made Christmas crack. Have you ever heard of this before? It's like a layer of saltine crackers, like premium plus crackers, with a layer of toffee and then a layer of melted chocolate, and then you put it in the fridge and let it harden. It's called Christmas crack. I've never made it, but I've not heard of that.

Speaker 2:

I've not heard of that.

Speaker 1:

So it's really good, but it's like salted. It's the perfect mix of salted nuts, because you can actually sprinkle nuts on top I didn't, but it's like salted toffee chocolate.

Speaker 2:

Let me know how that is. I'm up to try anything, yeah.

Speaker 1:

I'm excited.

Speaker 2:

I think I mentioned before last summer I had I think it was whole wheat or no multigrain toast with peanut butter with banana with honey and avocado.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

It was all of that Delicious.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm not like a big banana person, but if there was like a bit of banana I'd be okay with it.

Speaker 2:

Here's what I think about leader vibes. And if you're watching the video edition of the podcast, you'll see that I have a giant tray of unsalted nuts that I begrudgingly eating. Anyways, here's what I think about leader vibes. They're left over from Christmas, these nuts. Anyways, they're profitable, not the nuts, the leader vibes. The leader vibes are profitable. If you want to be a coach who automatically attracts clients, you have to have the essence of a leader about you.

Speaker 1:

I believe. Yes, I agree. I believe, I believe, yes, you need that, but I think that's something you can cultivate. Do you think that that's just like you're born with it or not, or do you think you have to, like you can create it? I think it's probably both. I think some people are just naturally born with it or naturally have the vibes, and then others grow into it or create it or cultivate it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think it definitely can be cultivated.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

There's zero doubt in my mind that a person wants to.

Speaker 1:

Oh, you can 100%.

Speaker 2:

Cultivate a leadership personality.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

You can yeah.

Speaker 1:

Well, I did, I did it, boom, I did it.

Speaker 2:

Boom.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, done. I don't know if I've told the story before, but when I was in corporate I was told in pretty much every review that I had that I had no presence. They, the executive, hold his ice.

Speaker 2:

Geez Hold reviews.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, the executive team told me on multiple occasions that I lacked presence when I was being passed up for like promotions and but nobody ever speaking of leader vibes, nobody ever told me how to go about cultivating presence within the firm. So I was kind of left on my own. Like they were like you have no presence, and so then I was like, okay, well I had. I was kind of left on my own to figure it out, which I became very interested in studying because you know it hurt my feelings. They would tell me that I didn't have presence because I thought I did. So, yeah, like I've, I've been on a mission like pretty much the rest of my adult life cultivating presence and learning leadership.

Speaker 2:

Orged in fire. You are.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Man.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Okay, so let's look at me now Look at me, I know. Look at you now. I'm a Lenny Kravitz giant scarf.

Speaker 1:

And all day running hoodie.

Speaker 2:

All day running hoodie. This is the podcast recording attire. I, of course, wearing green shirt, as I'm known to do. Okay, let's talk about the five qualities of a leader. Somebody who has leader vibes has these five qualities.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Atlanta wrote this list, I read it and I agree with it, and I was delighted to be not to be not modest for a moment to say I'm pretty sure I've got all these traits nailed down.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think you do, I think I do too.

Speaker 2:

I think you do too.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I'm feeling I've got the leader vibes.

Speaker 2:

You got leader vibes, we got leader vibes, leader vibes, here on the no Excuses coaching podcast. Yeah, get some, get some. Ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 1:

Well, we're going to tell you how to get them. The five ingredients, all right.

Speaker 2:

Number one is you got to care, ladies and gents and listeners.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, you've got to be, you've got to show some genuine concern, and I think it's important to remember, like you know what a coach is and why you got into it, and like you know what the purpose behind being a coach is all about. Right, like it's to help people. Yeah, help people change, help people grow, help people figure themselves out, and so, in order to do that, you have to care, like you have to have empathy, you have to listen, you have to support and guide and hold space right For these people.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

That you're working with and if you can't really show that genuine concern, then well, we were talking about this before we started recording. But, like, if the words are not congruent with how that person makes you feel, then it's like a rapport breaker immediately, Like someone could tell you that they care, but if you don't feel it, then yeah, that's very true Caring.

Speaker 2:

you must genuinely care about the people that you want to help. Yeah, and I think you know people in general are good about perceiving whether you do or not. Right.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah.

Speaker 2:

It's rare, but every now and then, you know, I'll come across a coach to you can just tell they don't care. You know they're just here because they think it's a way to make money and like. There's a lot of jobs where that attitude is totally fine, Right yeah, Like where you just want to produce a product or do a skill and be compensated for it, and it's that basic and foundational. And that's fine.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Coaching is not that type of product. You need to actually care about the people you're serving. It's hyper important.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, I mean that is, I would say, like the backbone of the entire business, because if you don't care, it's not sustainable.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So there we go so that's quality number one.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, you have weak vibes in the coaching or hypnotherapy biz. You have to be able to be honest with yourself and say you care about the people you're serving.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, cool, okay, good. So number two is you got to be authentic. I think we've had some episodes where we, like, made fun of this word, I think or not made fun of the word, but it is true, like you do need to be true to yourself and your values and be honest and be transparent and be real with your audience, with the people that you're interacting with, like how you're showing up, because people are inspired by authenticity.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And it's also easy, like we were talking about that whole, like energy is, like it's easy to identify when someone isn't being authentic. And when they're, you know, and when they are being authentic too. So you know, just understanding yourself and like you know, like you know, like you're being yourself and like how are you living your life and how are you leading yourself and how are you like showing up in the world is going to have a huge impact on your leadership vibes in your business and when you're working with people.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and you know this is another one where people can tell. As Alana said, people can tell if you're being authentic or not. If you love what you're doing and you're honest about that, if you are teaching content or advocating processes that you truly believe in, that's a big right. Yeah, major.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, Like if you're a health coach but you like never drink water or something like that, right Like one of those anti-water health coaches that are riding around these days, but that's just like it's important for you to you know, walk the talk. Is that what it is? You walk the walk and talk the talk right.

Speaker 1:

So you know like, are you living out your process? Are you, you know, practicing what you preach? Because if you have this ingredient in your leader vibe, then it's going to be so easy for you to sell your coaching because you're going to back it 110% right and people won't really need the convincing Like. This is why like organic marketing works so well is, if you're hitting all of these like leader vibes, then you shouldn't really have to convince people about what you're selling because you're a living example of it, if you are being authentic.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's very true.

Speaker 2:

The offer that I'm selling right now, that I'm offering right now, it is a business training and mentoring program and the people that are getting on the calls with me, the enrollment calls, it's such a natural, warm, organic process to enroll these folks because the program that I'm teaching is exactly the way I run my business right now.

Speaker 2:

So it's exactly what people have been watching me do in my business and serving others and putting out free value and stuff and creating a community. That's exactly what the program is. So it's very easy for them to look at what I'm doing and say, ok, I like that, I like what he's doing. Clearly it's working for him and the offer is just come with me, I'll hold your hand and show you how to do exactly what I'm doing. So there's no convincing, there's no selling, there's no. You know, there's very few questions that even need to be discussed on these enrollment calls, because people already get it by the time they show up on the call and in order to do that, you need to be authentic. Yeah, you must, right. So it's just an interesting example that's coming up.

Speaker 1:

No.

Speaker 2:

I think, that's yeah.

Speaker 1:

I think that's perfect because, like, if you, that's why you know, I think that sales calls are great but they shouldn't be about. I think the sales call should be about the person that's wanting to purchase and like asking questions and figuring out like if they're a good fit for it, rather than you convincing someone to you know, join your process or join your program or whatever it is.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I agree. Ok, so we gotta be caring, gotta be authentic. Number three is a good one. You must have a visionary attitude. Visionary, you have a clear vision and purpose, your forward thinking, creative and strive for excellence. I think that, well, that have. That are the kind of people that others want to work with.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, because these, like, when you have that visionary mindset right, it's almost kind of like the mission mindset we were talking about last week, but it's like when you have vision, like you have clarity, which a lot of people are seeking right, and you have purpose, which is also something a lot of people are seeking, so that's like an inspiring, motivating quality that other people want to like be around right, Like they want to be in that type of energy because you're thinking outside of the box, maybe you're you're also thinking about possibilities, so it's a nice energy to be around because they're they're not going to feel judged by you necessarily, right, like if you have that lead, those leader vibes, you're getting on calls with people and coaching them through things and you're letting them dream big. You're letting them like use their imagination and you're not like being critical or judgmental or squashing their dreams, you're letting them wonder right.

Speaker 1:

Which is a great quality to have, and it's something that often they're. They're surprised by right, because often their peers or their parents or their colleagues are like, oh, you can't do that because of X, y, z, right, but you get on a call with a coach who has the leader vibes and they're like, oh wow, you're listening to me and it's inspiring and it's exciting, and like they feel like they're full of possibility all of a sudden.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, very true, very true. And it's just I mean it's just empowering to work with somebody who has a strong vision for themselves, right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, totally.

Speaker 2:

They're demonstrating at any given moment what it means to have a goal and move towards that goal and have a vision and know the direction that you're going right. If you're going to work with somebody who's helping you achieve your goals, you want to know that they're an expert at achieving their goals right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, totally yeah.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, okay, cool. That's number three. The consummate professional, lana Banks, is wrestling with a cat on the other side of the Zoom call right now and laughing hysterically at the same time.

Speaker 1:

I just can't, because Leguita's got a puppy and so she doesn't come out much these days, so it's just like when she wants attention I need to give it to her. Hey, I'm not objecting.

Speaker 2:

I'm just describing what I'm seeing so that the audience can experience it as well. I encourage you to play with that cat.

Speaker 1:

Number four on the list.

Speaker 2:

Number four is being empowering. Being empowering, you have a collaborative and inclusive approach to working. You trust and believe in yourself and the people you work with. Yeah, yeah. You're kind of like the opposite of being viciously independent, right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

A lot of newer coaches are hyper reluctant to delegate. Don't want to let go of control of anything going on. There are a lot of different reasons for that, but usually it's not a great thing, right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:

You want those eyes on that? Wow, they're like googly eyes. There's a few different components to being empowering and to being empowered, and part of it is trusting yourself. Part of it is trusting that you can delegate certain things to other people. Part of it is trusting your clients to take action without your direct supervision sometimes right, yeah. Yeah, all kinds of things like that. So empowered and empowering, and empowering others.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And I think the key bit to this, too, is really believing in the people that you're working with, because if you're in a coaching relationship with someone and you don't believe in them, then that is going to have negative consequences in your relationship and their ability to achieve whatever it is that they want, right. You need to be really good at believing in them, and that's going to start with believing in yourself. Right. Believing in trusting yourself and believing in your coaching and your abilities is going to instill trust and belief in your client.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, absolutely yeah, agreed.

Speaker 1:

That's a good one.

Speaker 2:

That's an important one, yeah, super important. Cool, okay, we got one more.

Speaker 1:

Resilience, resilience.

Speaker 2:

Resilience being resilient.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah. Or adaptable right, Like adapting to I don't know, is resilience in adapting the exact same thing?

Speaker 2:

I don't think they're the exact same thing, but I think they're connected.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, totally connected. But it's really you know like you can pivot. You can adapt to challenging circumstances, you can adapt to setbacks, you can adapt to like. This makes me think of you're on a call with someone but you're bringing all of your resources together and thinking like, oh, I can offer this thing and that thing and it's not necessarily part of a blueprint or something that you're always following. You can kind of problem solve. I remember when I was doing my master NLP training, or when I finished it, ro actually, she said to me oh so now you've learned to cook. I was like, oh, that's such a good analogy Because it's like NLP practitioner training, right, is all the kind of like learning a bunch of techniques and then the master one is like mastering those techniques, but then you know having the resilience, I guess. Or like learning how to cook right, like learning how to piece it all together.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the when I think about resilient and the importance of being resilient in a coaching no-transcript. It's that, like, your clients may not always yet be super resilient and they need you to be right.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

If they're facing challenges that are stirring them, you need to be unsteered right.

Speaker 1:

Yes, yeah.

Speaker 2:

And even you know, these days most of my clients are business owners, which you would think you know. To be a business owner, you got to have a certain degree of self-esteem, and you know, and they all do. But, like you know, you never know what sort of emotional turbulence or emotional challenge will present itself on a seemingly innocuous coaching call right.

Speaker 1:

And so even to be a business coach.

Speaker 2:

You know you're routinely going to see people break down in tears under the stress of running a business. You're routinely going to see people you know who are having a really hard time in a given moment, even if yesterday was great and tomorrow was going to be great. But today is not right and you need to stand firm and be a rock in support of that person right, even if, you know, even considering that things go up and down in your life too and that's part of being resilient, you know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that is, and I think too, it's the ability to have difficult conversations with your clients too, because I think sometimes there's this tendency because the first ingredient is caring, right. So if you have genuine care and empathy about someone, there is this tendency to like please, or people please, and, like you know, let them feel good and let everything be comfortable, right. But this resilience piece, also when you're in the leader vibes, allows you to have these difficult conversations where it's like you know that they want to go in this direction, but in your heart you know that it would be better if they went in that direction, but as your job, it's not your job to tell them where to go either. So you kind of have to have this like very tough love type of conversation with clients too and be able to like, hold it steady and not be judgemental and not be too people-pleasy, right, but lead them to making the decision that you know is probably going to be in their best interest.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

That's a real interesting line to go down.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

I actually did this week. I was in a breakthrough with someone and like I wanted to go, like I know I knew they wanted to go in this direction, but I was like we got to go over here and it was tough right. Like it was like I got off the call and I was like ooh right, because you just feel like you're treading water or you know for an hour and then. But the thing is is they will remember that because that's leader vibes, right there right.

Speaker 1:

That's why they're spending the money. To work with you is not to get the answer that all their friends are giving them.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, good point.

Speaker 1:

You got to give that tough love and that does require resilience and that emotional regulation that you're talking about too.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, very true, very true.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

That's a really good example. That's a really good example. Cool, all right yeah.

Speaker 1:

So there we go, the five things that you need to have leader vibes.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and if there's a barrier between you and one or more of these characteristics, I suggest you talk to Alana Banks about a breakthrough. Oh really.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Because here's the secret, folks in my opinion, it's that everybody has the capacity to be caring, authentic, to be a visionary, to be empowering of themselves and others and to be resilient. These are sort of inbuilt or from birth characteristics. It's the events of our life that kind of build barriers between us and these qualities. So an NLE breakthrough process like the one that Atlanta Banks is making available now can remove those barriers between you and these otherwise inbuilt characteristics. So think about that, folks, and maybe shoot Atlanta a DM to inquire further.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that would be great. I'm also going to be hosting a workshop in February, probably mid-February all about becoming the confident coach and how to create yourself image, to have leader vibes, actually. So if a breakthrough isn't something that you're totally on board with just yet, come to my workshop. It'll be a two-hour workshop where we workshop your self-image. So you're actually going to come up with your terms and conditions, like what you're available for, what you're not available for, and this is a really great checklist, because I think we actually talked about this maybe last week, but it's a really great checklist to live by and make decisions by and all that kind of stuff, because if it's not jiving with your image, then it's a no.

Speaker 2:

It's easy.

Speaker 1:

It gives you a ton of clarity and great vision and purpose too, so look out for that. I'll be sharing it on my socials Facebook and Adalana Banks coaching.

Speaker 2:

Cool. Yeah, I remember the original workshop that this evolved from and it was exceptional. So with another little massive amount of evolution, this next one, I'm sure is going to be absolutely yeah, it's going to be awesome.

Speaker 1:

Actually I remember after doing that workshop, one of the women from the group, she did a whole photo shoot and updated all of her social media stuff and I remember her messaging me after. She was just like I was so inspired.

Speaker 2:

Awesome, cool, love that yeah.

Speaker 1:

All right, that's going to be it, that's going to be it.

Speaker 2:

So yeah, join the simple social sanctuary. If you want social media help from me, make sure you're in my free Facebook group, which is called Mission and Movement. If you can't find it, just shoot me a DM. There's a link to it in my link tree there on Instagram at Ryan Montes in LP. And that's it for now.

Speaker 1:

All right, Thanks everyone.

Speaker 2:

Bye everyone.

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