447. Want to Make All Your Dreams Come True FAST - Pep Talk

On this episode, Nellie emphasizes the importance of enjoying the process of achieving big goals and dreams, advocating for a positive mindset over the traditional hustle culture. She discusses the negative impact of overthinking, perfectionism, and people-pleasing, and introduce the concept of "ruminating," which involves replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. 
Nellie shares a personal success story of adopting this practice for 10 days, leading to significant improvements in mood and productivity. She highlights the power of positive habits and intentionality, encouraging viewers to swap negative thoughts with positive ones and take aligned actions to create a "positive tornado" that fosters personal growth and happiness.

We will touch on:

• Overcoming Perfectionism and Self-Sabotage
• The Concept of Ruminating
• The Power of Positive Ruminating
• The Role of Intentionality and Consistency
• The Impact of Positive Ruminating on Personal and Professional Life
• The Role of Therapy and Positive Healing
• The Importance of Self-Care and Personal Growth
• The Role of Positive Actions in Personal Growth
• The Power of Positive Thinking and Intentionality
• The Importance of Consistency and Positive Habits

Transcript

Unknown: 1:24

Okay, bring it in. Let's have a little pep talk and get you out on your way going towards your big goals and dreams so much faster, with ease, flow and fun and you're enjoying the process. My opinion is why go for big goals and dreams if you're not going to enjoy the process? Because life is so short and if you're miserable during it's just like, why? It's not worth it? There's so many other options, like, you don't have to hustle and grind and exhaust yourself, and you know, hate yourself and all like there's so many other ways, and I really strive to embody that like the opposite of that, and show you what else you can do And you can still get to big goals and dreams, and I think more of that is needed in the world. So, like, I'm counting on you to do this with me, but this has been something that has been life changing for me. So if you are an overthinker, if you are a perfectionist, you are going to love this video, like this video, like my heart is beating so fast because I really believe that this could change your life. It is so easy to overthink, to stall, to worry, right? These things are a habit. I always get emotional when I'd like, don't I'm not prepared for it, but like, I grew up being reinforced that being a perfectionist is not safe, right? I got scolded for wanting to do a good job, wanting to go the extra mile, like in so many different chapters of my life, like it just kept coming up and coming up. And so therefore it has not felt safe to be a perfectionist. And so that is challenging, because if it doesn't feel safe to be a perfectionist, then you'll overthink, because if you're like, is this offer good enough to put on the world? Right? Like, have, I have, I put enough time into it, or maybe I've put too much time into it, right? And so if you don't feel safe feeling a perfectionist, you also don't feel safe with anything else. And that's what causes, that's one of the main causes of overthinking, is you don't feel like it's good enough, but you also worry if you try to make it good enough, that you're going to get scolded for making it good enough. And so you feel like you you're already losing like and so when you when your brain does not feel safe, it will self sabotage. And I really do believe, unfortunately, self sabotaging is a habit, and we do it because we're trying to keep us safe. And logically, we know that that's not true. It's like, well, of course, I want to go towards my big group goals and dreams. Of course I don't want to self sabotage like and that's what can become super frustrating, because you desire the thing, but then your brain is getting in the way, and then you're exhausting yourself, but then you don't feel safe, and so it just creates this vicious tornado. And that's what I want to talk about because I found what has really, truly, legitimately supported me to get out of that vicious tornado. And it does feel like a tornado, like, if you have felt like a recovering perfectionist, even a people pleaser, like, I think all of these are connected, people pleaser, perfectionist, overthinker, all of these have very common traits, common behaviors. They they stem from lots of different chapters in your life. And so then they start to or they continue to carry on right and until a habit is broken, it will continue to repeat no matter what business you do, no matter what job you go to, no matter what relationship you are in, whether it's intimate or professional relationships, your health and fitness, like this type of habit of overthinking, Becoming or being a perfectionist, or worrying that you're perfectionist and people pleasing in all of those right, like they will just continue to become a stronger and stronger tornado that completely demolishes your wealthiest, healthiest, happiest life, because the stronger it gets, the. Harder it is to break the cycle. So what has really supported me was a term called ruminating. So when you are with your thoughts and no one is around you and you're just ruminating about different things. The word ruminating, I learned from a therapist, and typically it has a negative connotation to it, right? Like you ruminate about certain situations that are in the past that you're like, Oh, I could have done that better, or, Oh, I really wanted that to go better, or I regret that, right? Or you just, you overthink and you worry, and then you can also ruminate about the future too. And so typically, ruminating has a very negative, heavy energy around it. But this is what's so exciting. This is so exciting. My friends, if you know of anyone that is going through this, please share this video with them. Like you can, you can literally privately share it with them, because I know this is a sensitive subject, but like, I'm telling you, this has been like life altering for me, and it's just been very organic, but I am just, I'm a sharer by nature, and like, I am fundamentally different, internally different, and so much is still the same in my life. But like it's there's so much rewiring that has gone on in my brain, and just even a short amount of time because of what I'm the shift that I'm going to teach you and anyone I do believe can do this, if you are willing, you can do this. I really do believe that it can take some practice. But since ruminating is a habit, right? This is the most exciting thing. So people struggle with breaking habits, because if you don't replace a habit with something new, you are a creature of habit truly like you typically, like, sit in the same spot at different restaurants, right? Like you order the same food, you drive to and from locations within the same route. You wake up, you brush your teeth, you get coffee, right. Like we have routines, we have habits, and we truly do love habits. Our brain loves habits because habits are predictable, and your brain more than anything, more than happiness, more than money, more than joy. Your brain, not you, not your soul, not your heart, not you, but your brain, your operating system loves predictability. It is what it thrives on. And so if you find yourself, which most people do, if you're being honest with yourself, if you find yourself ruminating all day, every day, about so many different things, maybe you're overthinking your business, maybe you're beating yourself up about your body, this is what ruminating is, right? It's just your thoughts, your negative thoughts, swirling and swirling and swirling, creating that vicious tornado how you view yourself is how the world sees you. So it does not surprise me that my business is skyrocketing because I see myself so differently. I show up differently. I think differently. I move differently, and that is, it's insanely powerful. And, like, you can't want to do it just for that reason. Like, you know, even if everything stayed the same, but I feel happier. I'm all for that. Like, that's the goal here, right? Like, everything else is like icing and sprinkles on the cake of your life, but like you, being happy is my top priority, then we add everything else, right? So since the habit, I'm going to stop walking here for a second so I can, like, look you in the eye, say, I love you. I love you. But since the habit is ruminating, right, the negative thoughts swirling and swirling and swirling and swirling. We're not going to like you just telling yourself, stop doing that doesn't work. It would have already worked. Trust me, I tried many times. So what you're going to start doing is you're to start ruminating about really exciting, happy things. I have been doing this consistently for 10 days. Um, so anytime I think of a negative thought about myself or a situation or my past, I immediately swap it like I swap it with Oh my gosh. I'm so excited for our beach vacation. I'm I'm loving how my butt is looking like I'm having so much energy with a new supplement that I'm on my team is amazing. I start to create and continue. Because I've been doing it continuously. I'm doing it and creating a positive tornado. And I've been doing this consistently for 10 days and just in 10 days, like, wow, wow, wow. It can happen so fast, because guess what? You start like, it's it's truly a habit, right? Like, habits do take time, but you can start to reap the rewards of positive habits pretty quickly. Like, if you start moving like steps, you'll start feeling better immediately. If you start drinking more water, pretty instantly, you'll start feeling better because you're flushing toxins out of your body when you like listen to music, like everything we do is a habit that we're choosing, and it's either working towards our happiest, healthiest, wealthiest life, or keeping us stagnant or moving us further away. So you hold so much power, and you can decide at any moment, do I want to stay in the the negative, heavy, vicious tornado, or do I want to start ruminating about really happy, positive things that are actually in my control, that I want to create? Right like we the sky looks so pretty, I wonder if I can show you. Doesn't that look so beautiful? Right there for you? We have so much choice, so much choice. No matter the situation we're in, there's always choice. I have been in a hospital room with a mother that her child is getting chemotherapy, and she's on her laptop, working her business, checking in with her child, making sure that they're getting their chemotherapy, asking me how I'm doing, right if you don't know my past life, I, for 10 years, build a nonprofit organization for pediatric cancer families, and so I witnessed some of the Most, strongest women going through the hardest time that shows a positive outlook. Some parents that even lost their child started to immediately raise money for other families, do a memorial walk right like and they had every right to like, stay in a negative tornado and kick and scream and no one would have made them feel bad. And I'm not trying to make you feel bad right now, for if you are in the negative tornado, like you're allowed to be there, like my kids have moments. I have moments, right? But the goal is that the negative tornado is like teeny, tiny, and it doesn't become this big, vicious, heavy, scary thing that is completely taking over every facet of your life. Because no matter what, if we don't change the tornado, nothing really will change. You can hop to different businesses. You can hop to different careers, like you can hop to different relationships. You can, you know, you can hop and move houses, right? Like, because you're always with you, like at the end of the day, you're with yourself forever. You're you're married to you, and you might as well be, like, in the best relationship with yourself, since you're always with you and like it, it is a process, but I'm telling you, instead of shaming yourself, of having those thoughts, you swapping them and continuing to ruminate, but ruminate about positive things like I would love to hear like, If you're going to do this, even privately, so that way I can, like, cheer you on. But even in 10 days of consistently doing it, like, every time I even, like, lay my head down on my pillow to go to bed, I'm like, Oh my gosh. I'm just so excited. Like, I visualize a financial goal that I'm going for. I like, I'm just like hugging my husband like I I'm finding things to ruminate about, to be in the energy of that actually make me happy, that make me excited, that make me feel grateful, that make me feel Like I am worthy, that make me feel abundant. Giving for me is a big part of my positive tornado. And like that was already happening before the 10 days, but I noticed that my mind was still playing tricks on me, because I'm like, wow, like so many good things are happening, and I was catching. My brain being like, you know, are you going to be able to handle all this success? Like, you know you like you burn out in the past. What's going to be different now? So it doesn't surprise me. I'm like, going through the jungle again. It doesn't surprise me on July 1, I woke up and I was like, I'm shutting this down. Like I'm shutting this down. This is my time to shine. This is my winning season. My family is counting on me. I'm counting on me. Women are counting on me like the only option is to rise, and I'm not going to allow my negative ruminating to stop me. And so I promised myself I would do it with love. So I started the 10,000 steps a day. I started talking about it. I continued to do everything that was working for me in June. And anytime I have a negative thought, I completely swap it. And like the positive tornado is just moving so fast. It is getting so much stronger. Everything is working. Everything is connecting. Anytime it feels like it's not I just pause, like the tornado pauses, and I take a deep breath, and I pick a new thought, right? And then the tornado continues. So like this is such an act of discipline, more than anything else, because your subconscious brain controls 90 to 95% of your actions, so you shaming yourself for having negative thoughts only actually is feeding the negative subconscious beliefs, truly because you're beating yourself up, which is just re anchoring, like, yeah, we we're shitty you like, we can't do this, right? So like the shaming is actually feeding the the negative tornado, the negative beliefs, any negative energy around you, is also feeding all of those negative beliefs negative subconscious, the negative tornado. And so it can take years and years and years of therapy to heal. And I highly recommend you know whether you do therapy on your own with books and journaling, or you go to a licensed therapist or a counselor. Highly recommend it that also can feel so heavy to a lot of people because they're like, I like, I don't want to unpack all of that. And I heard something the other day that really resonated with me, and it was Angie Lee, if you know her, and she said, What if we didn't have to go through all the pain and agony of the past, and we could still heal, but do it from a positive space. And I don't, I can't recall anyone saying that perspective ever maybe I just didn't have, you know, maybe I had my earmuffs on. So I've gone through years and years of so many different types of therapy, so many journaling, so much books like, you name it, and I probably have done it, and it has helped. So I don't want to discredit that process. But hearing her say, like, what if we could dance, what if we could connect with other women that are high vibe, like, what if you could listen to music and eat good food and like, speak belief into yourself like that can actually also just as equally, heal you, support you. And it just invigorated me and really resonated with me because I'm like that excites me way more if we know things are going to be painful, we typically avoid them, which isn't helping our situation either, right? And so this goes so beautifully with that perspective of like, let's create the most the the most powerful, strongest tornado that is so positive, that is so uplifting, you're like scooping up as many people to come in to the positive tornado that want to be in the positive tornado. And you're just like a force to be reckoned with. And you are moving and grooving and loving your life like you're loving your life. I have found even being home for what, like, um, like, about a month with my kids, just being with them more, although there's moments that it's hard, has healed me in ways I can't even describe. Like, children are very intuitive. They are very like, like. They come to us to like, get regulated, but I think that they have just such a strong spirit about themselves that can truly help us too in so many beautiful ways. And so when the subconscious is running the show and it's not working for you, you creating the most. Positive tornado will start, will start to override that subconscious so much easier, truly, because your brain again will go back to the beginning. Your brain loves predictability more than anything. So when you can get in such a habit of positively ruminating and backing it up with positive actions, right? Like, I'm not just speaking belief. I'm I'm legitimately like walking the walk in so many different ways. It's a both and for sure, whole it'll supercharge everything for you truly, like we think that we're missing something. We think that there's this secret that we aren't aware of, but really like, if you look in the mirror, it's you, like you hold the power. You hold the secrets to everything that you desire, and when we can step into consistent, positive, healthy, wealthy habits, and pair that with positive ruminating, which is a daily a minute by minute choice, truly like as you're watching this video, I can almost guarantee you you feel a different way than if you were watching something sad, Right? And you chose to watch this video, or you chose to listen to this audio, if you're listening on our podcast, every minute is a choice, and I don't want that to, like, stress you out, but just be more intentional about it. Like, be more intentional. I've had to be super intentional with 10,000 steps a day, which I've never done for 30 days ever, my whole entire life, like, I'm sure, without tracking, I've done well, like I've, you know, for many years I've been I love health and fitness, but I can't tell you for a fact that I've done 10,000 steps 30 days in a row, but at the end of July, I'll be able to tell you, and it's because I'm So I'm so aware of it, and I'm so intentional that, like, I'm making it happen. I'm checking my Apple watch. I enrolled my husband. I I've been talking about it in my stories. People have been joining me. I've been inspiring people to do it too, right? Like, How fantastic is that? Because of an idea that I had on July 1, I just decided I'm just a normal, a normal person, just like you. It is a decision, minute by minute by minute. It is meeting yourself where you're at. You do not have to have it all figured out. You do not have to be perfect. You do not have to have a certain amount of money in the bank account. You don't have to have a certain amount of followers, a certain amount of time, whatever you have, we use what you have. That is one of my favorite sayings. We use what you we have. We use the knowledge that you have, the energy that you have, the time that you have, the resources that you have, the the positivity that you have. And we just continue to build on all of that right, like, everything grows when you water it right, like when you nurture it, when you pay attention to it, like, think about some of your best relationships that you have. It's because you're checking in. It's because you want it to work. It's because you love that person. And so when we can do similar things with ourselves and continue to get better and check in, and, you know, pay attention to ourselves and nurture ourselves and grow and just treat ourselves like the best relationship, all of that will be overflowing to every aspect of your life, every aspect of your business, even if you don't have a business yet, maybe you'll start one. Maybe you'll go in and ask for a raise, right? Like your happiest, healthiest, wealthiest self is so much closer, so much closer than you think. And as I've been ruminating, positively, ruminating consistently, right? Like I've always been a very positive person, but our our subconscious is really powerful, right? And so it can do powerful things to create, to continue the predictability. It does not want to be unsafe, so the positive ruminating consistently. Every night, when I lay my head down on my pillow, I'm like, Oh my gosh, this is happening so much faster. I'm so excited, right? And my brain's like, oh okay. Like, cool. This is happening, right? And I in real time, I'm regulating myself. I'm getting more excited. I then open up my eyes to more possibilities. I then take action on said possibilities, and we're going to continue to move forward, positively ruminating, backing it up with positive actions over and over and over every single day. Typically, you don't take a day off from the people that you love. Of right? Like, if your significant other needed something on a Saturday or a Sunday, or your kids, you wouldn't be, like, I'm sorry. Like, it's Saturday, it's Sunday, like, I'm on a break, right? So, like, for sure, take a break from your business. Take a break from your day job, but don't take a break from you, right? Like, pour more into you. Step up your game. Demand excellence of yourself. I continue to do things on the weekends because I know that that's what I need. So it's not like any I'm not doing it from shame. I'm not doing it from guilt. I'm doing it because I'm demanding excellence of myself, and I want to rise. I am rising. I want to rise, and I don't want to do it alone. So let me know that you're with me, whether you say it on this video or you DM me so I can cheer you on. But I'm telling you, this will bless your life in so many ways, if you let it and again, like you'll have the negative thought, but then you'll immediately swap it and back it up with action. And that's still building the habit. So it's not not having the thought, it's choosing to not continue the thought, right? And then you swap it, and then you take an aligned action, and you're, you're determined to continue to do that, just like I am with the 10,000 steps. I will not I will not stop. I don't want to stop. I will not stop. I've already decided. And that is like when a woman decides she is a force somebody reckoned with. It is when we're like, one foot in, one foot out, that it makes it hard to really move forward with ease, flow and fun. And so we're not going to do that. We're not going to do that. That ends now. So let me know how I can help you. Let me know that you're in the positive tornado with me, and let's just make it stronger and stronger together. You.