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We've talked previously about the problem cycle (see episode #69), but recently learned about the 3 poisons in Buddhism and they seem particularly applicable to some of the issues we see in divorce and co-parenting. 

In his early teachings, the Buddha identified “three poisons” or three negative qualities of the mind that cause most of our problems—and most of the problems in the world. 

1. Attachment: we want to attract and hold on to what is good for us (also called greed or lust).
2. Aversion: we want to repel what is bad for us (also called aggression or anger).
3. Ignorance: we are indifferent to what doesn’t affect us personally (also called delusion).  

So in this week's episode, Tracy and Debra are going to see if we can’t use some of this ancient wisdom to gain insight into shifting clients out of the problem cycle or suffering, into a mindset more grounded in acceptance and action. 

Listen in as we discuss how these 3 poisons show up in divorce and ways to apply the antidotes.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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One of the most emotional and difficult parts of divorce can be negotiating parenting plans - especially for co-parents who are experiencing a high degree of conflict. We shared a statistic last week that 80% of the family court calendar is taken up by custody matters and frankly that breaks our hearts. Because we know that parental conflict is the #1 reason children are negatively impacted in the divorce process.

Today, we discuss why we believe a thorough and detailed parenting plan is the most effective way to help conflicted co-parents prevent future disagreements and future litigation.

An effective parenting plan goes well beyond just parenting time schedules and expense sharing, but encourages parents to discuss the many details of raising children together. Regardless of how parents feel about each other, the fact is that they will be family for life. As anyone with adult children knows, parenting doesn’t stop when a child turns 18.

We often hear that attorneys push back on discussing or documenting any agreements that aren’t supported by the legal statutes. The typical response is “That’s not enforceable”.  And we get it - lawyers are focused on the legal aspects of a divorce case. But as divorce coaches, we take a more holistic approach and are interested in helping families transition so they are able to co-parent effectively. 

Listen in as we chat about why we believe that changing the experience of divorce for families means moving beyond the legal minimum requirements and developing a comprehensive plan that works for each family. 

Conflicted Co-Parenting Training Begins Nov 4 --> Learn More and Enroll

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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We consistently say that all divorce involves conflict. Even in the most amicable divorce, couples aren’t likely to agree on everything. But one area that seems to spur the most conflict is co-parenting. We recently read that 80% of the court’s time is taken up by custody matters which tells us that co-parenting and making decisions about children is a hot button topic.

So today we're exploring one aspect that contributes heavily to co-parenting conflict and that’s when people have difficulty transitioning from stakeholders in each other’s lives to business partners. Moving from being a couple to being co-parents is a shift that can take time and requires both parents to focus on what’s best for their children instead of what’s important to them. 

We get into common triggers and obstacles, talk a bit about gatekeeping and alienation, and walk you through a real life client scenario.

If you're a certified divorce coach and want to learn more about supporting co-parents who are having difficulty, we'll be starting a 6-week co-parenting intensive beginning the week of November 4.

Learn more about becoming a DCA® Conflicted Co-Parenting Divorce Coach

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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When we talk with prospective students and new students, we get a lot of questions about what’s it’s really like to start a career as a professional divorce coach. So today, Christina Stone is going to give us all a behind the scenes look at what that journey is really like.

Christina is a Certified ADR Divorce coach and if that name sounds familiar, it’s because she also happens to be our Operations Coordinator here at DCA so you may have been in communication with her at some point.

Today Christina and Debra are sharing some truth and busting some myths about starting a career as a divorce coach. It is truly a viable career, but as Christina will tell you...it takes persistence, patience and a plan.

While there are exceptions, the majority of new divorce coaches do not make $60 or $70k their first year out and anyone who tells you something different has an agenda. But you can get there by staying focused on your goals, being part of a divorce coaching community, and continuing to learn and hone your skills.

We hope you enjoy getting to know Christina and we are thrilled to have her as part of the DCA community and team.

You can find Christina at:

Email: cnfewcoaching@gmail.com
Website: cnfewcoaching.net
Instagram: c.n.fewcoaching

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Being a solopreneur is hard. Being a solopreneur in a new industry is even harder. It takes a lot of focus, intention, and community support to build a successful practice as a new divorce coach.

We say it every week in the podcast intro because we mean it. We are committed to the success of our DCA trained divorce coaches and we provide so many ways for coaches in our community to connect, learn, and grow.

Why are we so passionate about offering these kinds of opportunities for our coaches? Because we are simultaneously focused on raising the standards of practice for the profession and ensuring that properly trained coaches stay in the industry.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra discuss all the ways DCA demonstrates their commitment to the coaches in our community including:

• Free online alumni community
• Free bi-monthly lunch & learn events
• Free listing on our coach locator
• Affordable professional case consultation groups
• No annual dues or certification renewal fees

We are personally invested in and committed to every single coach in our community. The world needs more properly trained and credential divorce coaches and we're here to support you every step of the way.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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One thing that seems to be certain in divorce is that no one gets everything they want. Most walk away feeling like they had to give up more than their share in order to get to a final agreement.  Rarely do we hear a client say they thought the settlement was 100% fair and equitable. Most everyone feels like they got the short end of the stick.

So in this episode we dive into this idea of “fairness” and talk about how it can cause problems or create obstacles when it comes to getting to a final resolution. And we offer some coaching strategies for working with clients who get stuck in their own definition of "fairness".

Many clients start out saying “I just want what’s fair”. The trouble is that rarely will their spouse have the same definition of fair. We joke that “fair” is the 4-letter F word in divorce because what you think is fair, what I think is fair, and what the legal system thinks is fair can be wildly different. 

Listen in as Tracy and Debra discuss the concept of fairness and justice and how expanding our definition of what's "fair" may be the key to finally reaching an agreement everyone can feel OK about.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Divorce is hard enough with all the emotional turmoil, big challenges, and important decisions. It's even more difficult when your partner is intentionally working against you. But even more troublesome is when clients are working against themselves, so in this episode we're talking about self-sabotage.

 We discuss how to recognize it, and more importantly, how to support clients who are engaging in self sabotaging behavior that may be preventing them from reaching their desired goal or outcome.

Self-sabotage is a completely normal human behavior and shows up frequently in divorce and co-parenting as a result of fear of the unknown, perfectionism, lack of self belief, resistance to change, or learned behaviors.

Overcoming self-sabotage requires a combination of self-awareness, self-compassion, and intentional effort - all things divorce coaches are great at supporting our clients with.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk through why self-sabotage happens and how you can work with clients in self-destruct mode to get them on a better path.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Good storytelling is a powerful tool for creating connection, building trust, and communicating ideas and concepts. However, when it comes to divorce coaching, storytelling can be a mixed bag. And a common mistake we see coaches make is oversharing about their own personal experiences.

In this episode, we discuss when and how it is appropriate to share personal stories with clients. While it’s well-intentioned, it’s also important to be mindful about when and how we share personal stories with clients.

Our words of caution...there are two ways storytelling can muddy the waters when it comes to our coaching relationships. First, sharing too much from our personal lives can take the focus off the client and put the spotlight back on the coach. And second, clients look to us as the expert so those stories might be interpreted as directive or advice giving. 

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk about why intention matters when it comes to storytelling in divorce coaching.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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In this week's episode, we're exploring why empathy is so challenging in the context of divorce, why it's a key factor in conflict resolution and negotiation, and what can be done to foster it.

One of the primary reasons empathy is so challenging during divorce and co-parenting is the intensity of emotions involved. Big feelings like anger, betrayal, resentment, injustice and more can invoke our natural instinct is to protect ourselves. 

Also, the legal process and the adversarial nature of divorce proceedings can create an environment of competition rather than cooperation where any show of empathy might be seen as weakness.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra talk about the role of empathy in divorce and the 7 tools we can use to effectively use empathy strategically to improve outcomes for families.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

We're launching customized curriculum for Canada next month! And we're excited for you to get to know our Canadian Director, Dori Braddell. 

Dori is a highly successful divorce coach who specializes in conflicted and complicated divorce and co-parenting situations. She originally received her certification through the CDC and has continued to pursue continuing education with DCA as a Certified ADR Divorce Coach, Divorce Conflict Coach, and Conflicted Co-Parenting Divorce Coach.

Listen in as Tracy and Dori talk about the rise of divorce coaching in Canada and why it's important for Canadian coaches to get certified in a program that is tailored to the laws, customs, processes, and resources of their home country.

The first Canadian cohort will begin the week of October 13 and applications are now being accepted.

Go to divorcecoachesacademy.com/divorcecoach and schedule a call with Dori today to learn more about DCA's Canada specific training program.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

DCA is constantly growing to serve you better. In this episode, we highlight a few recent changes that offer even more ways to connect with each other. Check out your DCA student dashboard for more information.

Student Community
Each cohort in the process of studying to become certified ADR divorce coaches is being given access to a free online space to connect with their class and other students. It is automatically available after you enroll in the course.

Alumni Community
Every coach who has been certified through DCA is now part of a free online alumni community where you can post questions, collaborate, or share resources. This includes all graduates of our ADRDC, DCC, PMDC and CCDC courses.

Case Consult Community
All coaches participating in the Case Consultation and Mastermind Group have access to a dedicated community space to interact on a more frequent basis.

Lunch & Learn Events
DCA is launching a free monthly series of learning events for all members of our alumni community.
- 2nd Wed of each month is the Business Builder series focused on helping new-ish coaches get clients and start their practices..
- 4th Wed of each month is the Practice Accelerator series which will include advanced topics of interest to those with established businesses who are looking to continue their education.

Mobile App
And don't forget that DCA is now available on the Thinkific (our learning platform) mobile app. Just download the app, search for Divorce Coaches Academy and log in using the same credentials you use for the web version. Now you can take DCA and all your courses and communities on the go.
Apple App Store
Google Play Store


We hope you'll take advantage of these new opportunities to network, learn, and grow.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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When it comes to attorney-client relationships, we hear a lot of complaints. We understand there are a few bad apples out there, but most attorneys we know are really trying to do the best job they can. So what’s gone wrong? Why are clients not satisfied with the service their attorney is providing and what can they (and we as their divorce coaches) do about it?

We believe that clients frequently make this decision without an understanding of the role that their attorney will play and without conducting a thorough interview process. And then they feel stuck in a contractual relationship with a professional that isn’t meeting their expectations.

In this week's conversation, Tracy and Debra unpack some common complaints, discuss 5 red flags, and offer solutions when our client isn't feeling good about their attorney.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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We like to think that we actively have our fingers on the pulse of the divorce industry and the application of divorce coaching nationally and around the world. But recently, we have been hearing some noise about the need for divorce coaches to have training in areas such as trauma and post separation abuse. Yet, at the same time, we're hearing cries for divorce coaches to stay in their lane. 

We are finding this dialogue confusing - not only for professional practicing divorce coaches but for consumers who are looking to learn more about working with a divorce coach or how divorce coaching can help them. 

The reality is that any good, professional divorce coach is trauma sensitive in the way they approach their work with clients. The difference is that we do not venture into the arena of DV advocacy, legal advice or therapy. We remain firmly grounded in the ABA definition of divorce coaching as a form of dispute resolution.

A trauma-informed approach to conflict in divorce recognizes and addresses the impact of trauma on individuals' behaviors, emotions, and interactions. This approach is rooted in understanding the pervasive effects of trauma and emphasizes safety, trust, empowerment, and collaboration.

We endeavor to minimize further harm by helping clients get through their divorce process with the least amount of damage to their bank account and their mental health. Because the only way out is through. In order to recover from the negative experience of the marriage, our clients need support to get to the other side where they can be free to heal and build a new life.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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One thing we've noticed this year is that the Olympians we admire most have some lessons to teach us about divorce and co-parenting including sportsmanship, teamwork, and how to handle stress, victory and defeat.

Let’s take Katie Ledecky for example. She is widely regarded as the greatest female swimmer of all time and one of the greatest Olympians of all time. At just 27 years old, she has won eight Olympic gold medals and 21 world championship gold medals. What sets Ledecky apart from her competitors is her incredible work ethic and unyielding determination.

And Ledecky is just one of thousands of athletes who are showing us this level of dedication, sacrifice, and commitment to excellence and teaching us important lessons about teamwork, collaboration, managing stress, sportsmanship, the role of coaching, the importance of goals, and knowing when to retire.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra chat about the 12 divorce and co-parenting lessons they're taking away from the Olympic athletes.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Our guest today smashes the idea that an "amicable divorce" means that the couple is getting along and getting to agreement without conflict. Instead, she promotes the revolutionary idea that it's the mindset of the professionals involved that determine whether the divorce process is amicable.

We’re pleased to introduce you to Tracy Moore-Grant, Founder of the Amicable Divorce Network. The Amicable Divorce Network (ADN) is a global network of seasoned, licensed professionals who are dedicated to helping families navigate divorce through the Amicable Divorce Process, a modern, civilized, transparent, and cost effective alternative to adversarial divorce litigation. They are the only network in the world vetting divorce professionals for their experience, commitment to a resolution-focused practice, and engagement in fair billing practices.

More and more family law attorneys are exiting the world of litigation because they see what it does to families and it doesn't align with their personal values. Tracy explains this concept of "moral injury" and why it is the driving force behind the shift we are seeing in how divorce professionals choose to use their gifts and skills.

When professionals are focused on resolution, it saves clients time, money, and emotional energy. As Tracy explains, handing over decision making power to an adversarial attorney or a judge is an expensive way to be sure you spend money you don't have on things you might not want.

The bottom line is that the professionals you choose to work with have a tremendous amount of influence on your divorce process, the cost and the level of conflict - choose carefully!

Find Tracy and the Amicable Divorce Network:

Tracy's ABA Article: The Argument For Less Argument in Divorce
ADN Website: amicabledivorcenetwork.com or divorceamicably.com
Find an ADN Professional: Member Directory

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

We're tackling one of the most challenging and emotionally charged questions many of our clients face: How do you know when it's time to divorce?

No marriage is 100% happy all the time. Like any relationship, it’s filled with both good times and hardship. But for some, the challenges become chronic and overwhelming, leaving them wondering if ending the marriage is the right choice. Deciding to divorce is never easy and it’s rarely straightforward.  As actress Kate Hudson said, “The process of discovering with somebody that you love that you don’t work is so painful.”

In this week's episode, we'll explore the signs that indicate it might be time to part ways, the importance of weighing both emotional and practical factors, and the tools and strategies you and your clients can use to arrive at a decision that’s right for them.  And we’ll talk about the importance of preparing for the night you take dinner out of the oven - a favorite story that Debra likes to share.

When it comes to making this big decision, we often find that clients already know that ending the marriage is inevitable, they just have some fears that we called “The Big Buts” in episode #75. They worry about finances, their kids, and conflict. They don’t know where to start and they truly don’t understand the process, their options, and the amount of control they have over the cost, the amount of conflict, and the outcome.

That’s why we encourage you to partner with your client to develop an exit strategy. This means helping them gather the information they need and develop action plans to remove the fear and uncertainty around when and how to divorce. Fear is not only the obstacle that keeps individuals stuck in unhealthy, unhappy marriages unable to make decisions or take action, but it’s also the number 1 driver of cost and conflict in divorce.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

We're reaching to our back catalog to share one of the most popular episodes as Tracy and Debra take a quick summer break. We'll be back next week with brand new content!

When people find out what we do, it's not unusual to hear “UGH, I wish I’d known you when I went through my divorce. I made so many mistakes.” In this episode, we’re reviewing the five common mistakes people make and talk about how a divorce coach helps clients sidestep those mistakes and save time, money, relational damage and emotional energy.

Right now the average divorce with attorneys in the US will cost each party somewhere in the neighborhood of $15-20,000 and can easily exceed 6 figures when you add in custody battles, forensic accounting, discovery, depositions, motions, and all the other professionals and processes. Certainly legal fees can add up quickly when conflict escalates, but there are many other costs that clients pay when divorce mistakes are made.

When clients are stressed and overwhelmed and/or driven by emotions like anger, sadness, vengeance, jealousy, or indecision, their lives are impacted on every level. While those costs are much harder to quantify, they aren’t hard to observe. And when people are experiencing these costs of divorce, they may act and make decisions that don’t reflect their best selves or their best interests.

Listen in as Tracy and Debra dive into the 5 most expensive divorce mistakes and talk through the coaching tools you can use with each.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

We're back with one of our most requested topics - how to build a solo practice that can meet your financial goals. It's been almost 6 months since we challenged you to evaluate your marketing objectives in episode #87 titled "Make More in 2024; Revenue Resolutions You Can Keep" ... so how are you doing?

Is your bank account going to be bursting the first month after you get certified? Absolutely not. And anyone who promises you'll earn $70k or more in your first year is giving you a sales pitch that's not grounded in reality.

We know first hand that the path to reaching business and financial goals in this business is fraught with challenges that require careful planning, strategic decision-making, ongoing monitoring, and persistent effort. Wishful thinking, though often tempting, can get in your way.

So today, we explore the reasons wishful thinking is detrimental to solo practice building (hope is not a strategy) and highlight some practical steps you can take to move your business forward.

The profession of divorce coaching can be a satisfying and financially rewarding pursuit, but it requires an understanding of business planning - being a talented coach is simply not enough.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

In today's episode we’re talking about 2 big topics: First, the fact that most judges in the family court system don’t want to make decisions for your family because they don’t have sufficient time or expertise to feel confident. And second, you likely don’t want them making these decisions for your family because they don’t have sufficient time or expertise.

In most states, family court judges reach the bench through election or appointment, the requirements for becoming a family court judge are the same for becoming a judge in any other court, and often aren’t required to have any prerequisite experience handling family law cases.

We chat about the complex role of a family court judge and how inexperience, lack of training, and crushing caseloads contribute to inconsistencies in outcomes for families. And we share some frankly shocking research findings around what influences a judge's decision making.

Finally, we share some realities of the family court system that might make you think twice about taking your dispute to court. After all, nobody knows your children, your life, and your priorities better than you do.

SPECIAL OFFER
Get affordable, professional divorce support with DCA groups. Be one of the first 10 new members to sign up and use coupon code FREEGROUP to get your first month of coaching for free. Go to: divorcecoachesacademy.com/groups

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Have you heard the saying, "A word can start a war, but a conversation can bring peace"? 

We adore this saying because it encapsulates a universal truth about the power of communication in both escalating and resolving conflicts. Communication is basically a double-edged sword; it can both spark conflict and yet serve as a means to resolve it. 

Understanding this duality is crucial in effectively managing and resolving conflicts.  So today, we are highlighting how communication can act as both a source of conflict as well as a vehicle for conflict resolution.

Misunderstandings, poor communication skills, assumptions, emotional triggers, and non-verbal cues can all ignite or exacerbate conflicts. Conversely, clear communication, active listening, constructive feedback, collaborative problem-solving, trust-building, and emotional regulation can effectively resolve conflicts. Understanding and navigating this duality is crucial for anyone seeking a more peaceful approach to any conflict they face.

We can help our clients develop more effective communications skills  utilizing techniques such as EAR statements, BIFF responses, and Yes/And... strategies. Check out these past episodes for more on these tools:

Fighting Words - 13 Tips to Keep Divorce Conflict From Going Off the Rails
Magic Words in Mediation - Negotiation Language That Works

In any conflict, we have a choice to use communication to ramp things up or cool them down. Choose wisely.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

When clients don’t feel good about their attorney, it makes a difficult process even harder and more complicated. So today, we thought it might be helpful to dive into when and how to go about hiring a legal professional so folks can find the right help and the right fit.

Much to our dismay, it still seems that most people believe the first step should be to go out and hire a fierce divorce lawyer. We know you’re probably getting all kinds of advice from friends, family and the internet that you need to protect yourself by getting the toughest lawyer out there so you can fight for what’s yours. But is that really what’s needed? And even so, is it the first step someone should take when thinking about divorce?

In this episode, we answer the questions:

• Does everyone need a lawyer?
• When should you consider hiring a divorce lawyer?
• What are common mistakes people make when choosing an attorney?
• What questions should you ask in a consultation?
• What's the right way to hire a legal professional?

Whether you choose to retain a full-service attorney, use one on a consulting or as-needed basis, or just consult with a few to get some initial opinions and input, the lawyers you choose to interact with will have a big impact on how your divorce proceeds.  A certified divorce coach can support you in identifying if you need an attorney, when to schedule consultations, what's important for you to ask, and how to choose a legal professional that's right for you.

Check the DCA® Coach Locator to find a certified divorce coach: Coach Locator

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Our featured guest today, Heather Cary, is a trusted member of the DCA team and is an experienced Divorce and Co-Parenting Coach and Mediator who is dually certified as a DCA® Certified ADR Divorce Coach and a CDC® Certified Divorce Coach. She holds a Masters of Education, is certified as a New Ways For Families Co-Parent Coach, is trained as a Mediator, serves as a Parent Educator in her local area, and is a member of the Oregon Association of Collaborative Professionals.

Today, Heather and Debra talk about the benefits of support groups for individuals going through divorce. Specifically we discuss the advantages of a professionally facilitated group like the affordable ones offered at DCA for just $75/month.

People often seek information, advice, and support from friends, family, Google or Facebook but because that information is generic, it doesn't always help clients make the best decisions for themselves. 

The DCA groups are facilitated by certified, professional ADR divorce coaches who are committed to offering both information and personal support in a consistent and safe online environment for topics like:

• How to stay sane while on the emotional rollercoaster
• How to negotiate effectively with your STBX (soon to be ex)
• How to make hard decisions with confidence
• How to parent your kids through this transition
• How to get organized and prepared
• How to save money and understand your options
• How to make the best use of time with your attorney

Listen in to learn how DCA is combining community support and professional divorce coaching for just $75/month and how it can provide amazing benefits for you, your clients, and families.

Group Coaching: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com/groups

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

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Positivity and possibility are two distinct approaches in personal development, divorce coaching, and conflict resolution, each with its own strengths and weaknesses. While positivity focuses on maintaining a positive outlook and minimizing negative emotions, possibility emphasizes exploring new opportunities and potential for growth.

In today's episode, we pull from William Ury's new book "Possible: Surviving (and Thriving) in an Age of Conflict" to talk about why having a possibilist outlook is so important to conflict resolution.

Positivity can actually act as a barrier especially for those clients facing challenging conflict situations, anchored in positional thinking, or stuck in the problem cycle. Suppressing or ignoring negative emotions doesn't make them go away - they simply come up at unintended and unexpected times. And that can escalate conflict.

Ury's focus on possibility supports clients' ability to envision and achieve positive outcomes by exploring new opportunities and potential pathways for growth. By focusing on what is possible, coaches can help individuals navigate their challenges with resilience, creativity, and confidence.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Two things the coaches in our community tell us they are thirsty for is more clients and more credibility. Today we want to talk about how using coach-y language creates a barrier to working with you for both potential clients and other divorce professionals. 

Divorce coaching is still a relatively new profession and is often mis-identified as a version of life coaching. This is an image that DCA is actively fighting against. It’s one of the reasons we launched our ADR focused divorce coach training - to push back against the idea that anyone can coach people going through divorce.

Divorce and co-parenting are too important and the stakes are too high when conflict and communication aren’t handled carefully.

Tune in and learn why we don't intend to affiliate with the ICF, the reputation we are battling against, and some tips for language that will get you the clients and credibility you deserve.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com

Send Us a Message (include your contact info if you'd like a reply)

Have you seen this viral question going around the internet where people are asking women if they would rather be stuck in the woods with a bear or a man? It was intended to spark discussion about violence against women and the responses have been both overwhelming and insightful. 

This whole conversation has made us wonder how people would answer if we ask them if they would rather mediate with a bear or a narcissist?

Today we're tackling the fear so many individuals have about trying to mediate with a high conflict or difficult partner. We consistently see people choose to pay an attorney tens of thousands of dollars to litigate rather than attempt mediation and negotiate directly with their spouse. Having an attorney to represent them might feel like they’re more protected, but are they?

We discuss:

• How HCP complicate the mediation process
• Common fears we hear
• Reasons mediation might be a BETTER choice
• Tips for negotiating and keeping your cool

As always, our goal is to make sure our clients are making decisions from a place of information and strategy, not fear no matter which option they choose.

Learn more about DCA® or any of the classes or events mentioned in this episode at the links below:

Website: www.divorcecoachesacademy.com
Instagram: @divorcecoachesacademy
LinkedIn: divorce-coaches-academy
Email: DCA@divorcecoachesacademy.com