Wrack Your Brain Episode 17

#podcast  #politics #twoidiots #veterans #warstories #army #stories #armystories #wtfmoments 

This is a show about everything and nothing. Part politics, part satire, all bourbon. Join Dominick Leon and Charles Fuks as they muse about current events, social issues, and whatever surfaces from the depths of their minds. If you walk away thinking about something in a different way: comment, like, share, subscribe, follow us, check out our links, sponsor us, send us something in the mail! 

This episode is all about army stories.

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Transcript

0:03

[Music]

0:12

[Music]

0:20

ladies and gentlemen welcome to july 14th 2022 rack your brain podcast with

0:27

that is charles fuchs and this is charles fuchs as well and i guess that's and i guess that's dominic leon um and

0:35

uh today as usual we're going to talk about a whole lot of nonsense uh more

0:40

nonsense than than usual and i plan on interrupting every chance i get case in point uh

0:46

so we're gonna talk more nonsense i think than normal uh because we are going to and i hope we don't get in

0:52

trouble for this nobody owns those i don't think it's something copyrighted some of the intellectual property but we are going to uh look at some army fail

0:59

moments army wtf moments and we're going to react to them and then probably go off on on 17 different tangents of

1:05

course maybe talk about times when someone something similar happened to us or in front of us in our presence that

1:10

we saw and it was hysterical i had it i had a comment oh uh any any

1:17

us announcements us slash show slash podcast when are we getting a website

1:22

the website is actually in process and i know but every i'm working on it every

1:28

day a little bit here a little bit there and it's it's it's coming along nice to meet any merchant no no merch

1:35

uh we can't accept your live uh jersey g 1983 as much as i would based on that

1:40

name and based on your picture um we we can't because um we are recording anyway

1:46

podcasting right now at the same time podcasting pc if you if you i don't know

1:52

no no i don't like that because it's pc um did you end up getting the uh dude look

1:58

at how fat why did why didn't you ever tell me don't wear a red shirt on the podcast i look it's not the shirt it

2:04

looks so fat yeah it's the shirt yeah it's not the shirt it's my fat that makes me look fat it's my fat it's

2:11

my fat prednisone okay my feminism got my look at my arms my arms so look they're

2:16

looking decent dude um wait can we i gotta do this for you i i have not been within as many men as

2:24

you and so for therefore my they're from my they're from my biceps and my and my forearm are not as big as

2:30

yours however uh you know however they're looking okay they're looking okay

2:46

people are going to know you can't be buried in a jewish cemetery of course they can be buried in jerusalem uh you're telling me all the all the people

2:52

in the idf in israel who who have uh tattoos don't get better ninja semesters of course they do or holocaust survivors

2:59

they have tattoos as well that's right i i i think i think there are exceptions

3:04

there are exceptions 100 of their exceptions uh and and i'm pretty sure um you know if i tell god i was in the

3:11

military if he doesn't already know then i'll be okay i'm sure god knows yahweh

3:16

in your case yahweh the jewish yahweh the jewish yahweh as opposed to the christian yahweh i think it's the

3:22

christian jesus neither of those names first of all okay i know i know we're

3:29

going off army wtf moments no no no we're gonna we're gonna address we're gonna trust this for a moment all right

3:34

about the jewish god i'm not gonna talk about just the jewish god i'm gonna talk about the jewish gods

3:39

plural so you know many years ago pretty pretty much everything is he

3:46

the jewish god pretty much he's he's a lizard person every

3:51

pretty much every religion as as we know and i think this is this is uh correct anthropologically uh and historically

3:58

every every every group of people on the planet were were polytheistic part of that has to do with with uh

4:05

you know trying to explain the world around them and it's kind of a natural thing for for people to look at something and ascribe

4:12

a more powerful being whatever but like many cultures ascribed uh uh

4:17

powers to like the the the a deity of of a particular part of nature right deity

4:24

fruit of lightning whatever right and so so most most uh cultures were polytheistic

4:30

including the abrahamic including the abrahamic uh the original

4:36

abrahamic faith aka the faith of abraham aka of the um of the people in judea

4:45

uh and so they had and this is recorded like they they had a whole a whole pantheon of of gods and one was like

4:52

yahweh one was adonai one was like every word for god in

4:58

in the old testament every word that is considered today by by rabbi is like just different words

5:04

for god we're different gods this is this is historically uh uh it's been

5:09

recorded right so so the the the the christians who think that they are uh

5:14

monotheistic are actually have actually bastardized a a religion that itself bastardized

5:21

polly uh now that i agree with a hundred percent because i have actually

5:26

some knowledge on that and that is very very knowledgeable i'm telling you that's why sometimes my

5:32

brain gets fried because just a little bit of knowledge that gets in there and it just gets overworked it's like

5:37

working out for too long then your muscles cramp up that's what happens in my brain it's like a it's like a um like

5:43

a machine in a factory that's been working too long without like oil oil maintenance yeah yeah yeah

5:50

then you get confused all this alcohol and all the bombs and [ __ ] and bullets

5:55

flying by me and all the moon dust and and fumes from burn pits yeah my brain is

6:02

fried bro okay you were saying i know it distracted you i don't remember what the

6:07

[ __ ] i was all right army wtf moments i thought oh you're being like yahweh

6:13

and yanunaki all right let's get into some army wtf moments this is where it

6:18

all begins

6:27

oh he gave him two minutes to get off the bus that's so nice look at the look at how nice that bus is

6:33

was your bus that nice dude i was on a [ __ ] school bus

6:39

no no no they screamed at us to get off the bus hold on hold on pause this from him um how did you get

6:46

would you say jackson how did you how did you get to jackson you did memphis in puerto rico right i did maps in puerto rico

6:52

jackson we well we flew in uh i think it was a commercial plane yeah of course yeah a commercial plane then

6:59

we went from there they picked this up or how did they pick you they picked me up i can't remember how

7:05

they how they picked me up from it was it was that kind of bus that's the bus that picks you up from from the airport

7:11

it's just like a coach bus that they that they contract not that bus no dude the only time i ever was in a coach bus

7:17

like that nice they they picked me up like in this old it was a white school bus type thing

7:23

from the airport from the airport like a white school bus um wasn't a school bus but it was the

7:28

same as a school bus show which is white yeah and you see that

7:34

that drill sergeant just said you have two minutes to get off my bus i'm like that's [ __ ] way generous because they

7:39

didn't give us any time it was three drill sergeants on the bus and they came in there they spoke to us real calm they

7:47

said you are now in fort jackson this and that this is what we're doing and

7:52

you're gonna get off my bus and nobody moved and then that's when all three jewels

7:57

are just almost their [ __ ] mind and they just got off my [ __ ] body you're right so i look i i i wasn't there i

8:04

don't know what they picked you up mind you however i'm from an era previously yes that is true but here's here's what i want to

8:10

point out that when you get picked up from the airport you and you get there you

8:16

are not in basic training no you're on this reception that's right and reception it's different drill sergeants

8:21

then then you're gonna have you typically it's either people that just came out of drill sergeant school and it's kind of their first well i will

8:28

tell you this we had we had two drill sergeants that actually had the drill sergeant hats and then one guy who

8:34

he uh he must have been going through the drill sergeant school because he was still with his regular cover so and they they have non-drill sergeant

8:41

ncos assisting right and so either either it's individuals that are right after drill sergeant school and like

8:47

before they get to a company or it's at the tail end to like try to integrate them a little bit more right into

8:53

humanity so they got us a reception at fort jackson and reception is a different whole thing they got to

9:00

process you and get you all your stuff um and then from fortu from reception got

9:07

on another bus to take us all the way out because i was after reception after reception but within the same fort

9:13

jackson yeah took us to our unit and then the different drill sergeants

9:18

did the same exact thing get off my [ __ ]

9:26

so for me again it's it it is the exact same thing except except typical well and again we picked

9:33

up in a coach puzzle yeah we were it because because they they contract because otherwise they'd have to send

9:38

like a drill sergeant or something they'd have to send somebody yeah right in in uniform to like wait all day well the bus driver was in uniform no see our

9:46

my guys picked me up from the airport he was okay so maybe maybe he was a white button yeah no my guy was some civilian

9:52

he like and by the way i like i landed i think i landed at like 2 p.m

9:58

and they didn't send a bus until like 10 p.m they wait until all the flights of the day i've ever been going to basic

10:03

and then some civilians showed up and he's like hey if you're going to basic training follow me and again so we get

10:08

to reception and of course somebody in the in the you know the smokey the bear hat yeah comes on he's like get the [ __ ]

10:14

off my bus but but he wasn't our drill sergeant and then we spent a week in reception we got all our stuff

10:20

and then our i think it was because of where our our

10:26

basic training battalion and our company was in relation to the reception barracks it

10:32

was like a minute walk they didn't there's no point in sending a bus but they showed

10:38

up and they did the shark attack like basically at reception and then they just marched

10:43

us to our barracks interesting point though i will tell you this because i did memphis in puerto rico

10:48

you know they always put you up in a hotel before they send you out that's because

10:54

again you say no but when you're leaving from puerto rico and you're gonna go to basic training

10:59

here in america before you go out they put us in a hotel cheap hotel and they

11:05

give you these [ __ ] tickets so you can eat something and you're they tell you that before that you cannot drink

11:10

anything then they the day before or anything because they actually breathalyze you at maps and all this [ __ ] but that's

11:17

the funny part is the hotel we stayed at there was a famous real famous wrestler

11:22

in puerto rico called chickie star and everybody if puerto rican you know this is you know who this is really famous um

11:30

wrestler professional wrestler in puerto rico and he was the head of security for this

11:35

particular hotel for like 20 years and because he already knew like the

11:40

whole process and plus all the military guys in puerto rico knew who he was he would like he would give us such a

11:48

[ __ ] hard time while we were at the hotel any time he saw you because he was always walking around the hotel along

11:55

with other security but he was always there you always knew he was there he was never in an office he was always

12:00

wandering around the hotel and if he saw you he would i don't know it's almost like

12:05

that he thought he was a drill sergeant almost like prepping you when you got your little food card and you had to go

12:10

get food and he saw you he's like you really think you need that have you any idea how [ __ ] fat you are look at you

12:18

you look like a neighborhood if i were you i put that [ __ ] down right now because you are in for some [ __ ] rude

12:23

awakening when you get to base training you looking like that all fat and disgusting i'm like dude you are a hotel

12:30

security guy and a pro wrestler you're not even like a mill like leave me the [ __ ] alone

12:36

no he would give people a hard time look at how fat you are are you gonna really you know you're not gonna fit in those

12:41

stupid clothes when you're done with basic training right they're gonna starve you to death you're gonna be all skinny he was right though all my

12:46

[ __ ] civilian clothes were like hanging off me yeah but uh man i hated that [ __ ] i'm like after that i'm like i

12:52

don't give a [ __ ] about this guy [ __ ] him i do remember the only vlog i was saying before the

12:58

only time we were on a coach bus like that is when we went because since i was airborne i was a parachute rigger when i

13:04

first joined i had to you had to be airborne qualified to

13:09

to go to um to parachute rigor school in fort lee virginia for your mos you can't learn how to pack a parachute unless

13:15

you're airborne qualified so we did basic training then airborne school then ait that's how parachute riggers do

13:21

their process so when we went from fort jackson to fort benning it was in that coach bus

13:28

for the three weeks have been took you on a bus from jackson to benin that's interesting it's [ __ ] long

13:34

[ __ ] rhymes and it was on a greyhound bus or like one of those kind of buses

13:40

and uh and i remember i only had my walkman and the music was like so outdated i'm like [ __ ] this is all i got

13:46

though um did the three weeks of day of of a very boring school in benning and then

13:52

took a cell phone i'm just kidding no before so and then took another coach bus from benning all the way the [ __ ] up

13:59

to fort lee virginia which was there's i believe so yeah i believe they still

14:04

were using morse code our uniforms were blue slacks with the boots up to my

14:10

knees and i had a blue coat that was made of wool i had to take my asus to the taylor a

14:15

couple days ago uh because they shrink during covet and you know

14:20

in the closet because asus tend to do that yeah well i i i told you this story but you know just for for the audience

14:27

it was this uh oh my rifle was a musket yeah no that's well i mean it was it was a rifled musket which they had just

14:34

invented uh during the civil war but they um and bayonets were like a new

14:39

thing this this guy he might my not my tailor it's uh you know the alteration guy he uh he's called the

14:47

tailor no taylor and on an alteration guard two different things yeah a tailor can do alterations but

14:54

also a dry cleaner who does alterations because also oh yeah i mean minor things like if they're taking in a hem or

15:00

whatever right because they shrunk yeah well exactly when they shrink do the humidity uh during covert

15:07

and um he uh he looks at i put the pants on they were a little tight i put the jack

15:12

and i was a little tight he's like okay i'll take them out maximum i'm like is that what i need and he's

15:19

like uh well you actually need more than maximum but we'll see how it looks

15:28

they tend to acus they tend to shrink we had the mcus after i think we had the

15:34

mcu's we had mcu's in fort bragg before the mcu's were issued to everybody

15:41

yeah and not because i was an army ranger because after a

15:47

while i reclassified and i reclassed and uh after like once you're arranging

15:54

you start getting like different stuff for like different treatment or like newer equipment and all that stuff but i mean at the same

16:01

time i was in the 82nd so i got all my regular uniforms like everybody

16:06

else did but they also gave us the option because i had been in in battalion

16:12

before i went back to the 82nd they said hey we have these new uniforms you want these

16:18

like 2001 no like 92 000. when i joined we talked about when you reclass when you

16:23

i reclassed in uh right when i got back from from uh from kosovo

16:29

two thousand two thousand what um just at the end of 299 actually they were

16:35

they weren't doing multicam at the time they were getting tcu at the time yeah no no i'm talking i'm just i'm just saying like afterwards like

16:41

when the mcu's hadn't come out for everybody yet mcu hasn't come out to like 20

16:46

seven seven thousand yes no no it was after it was after it was probably like 2012 2013

16:53

yeah yeah no we so we had no i had mcu's in 20 i'm gonna i wanna really say

17:02

november december of 2011. that's when i had them i didn't have

17:09

well and people you always have these like real pogey kind of [ __ ] soldiers in there talking about like oh you

17:15

high-speed and then one second because green berets i think in in vietnam were the only ones that had like the tiger

17:21

stripes so when the mcu's came out and we were able to use them and regular army was not

17:27

you know or they didn't have them issued to them yet it was like everybody was like oh man you guys are this i'm like dude shut the

17:33

[ __ ] up man it's just you like you know there's always this these these pogue soldiers that

17:39

this like almost they come into the army thinking they're like these [ __ ] military historians it's like at least

17:44

all you want them to do is shut up and usually they're just like armorers or 92

17:50

alphas or nothing against 92 alphas or mechanics you know it's usually like a mechanic

17:56

dude just shut the [ __ ] up you know define for the audience if we if we haven't done on any of our episodes what

18:01

a poke is a person other than grunt meaning you're not positioned to position person other than grunt meaning

18:08

you're not in a combat mos you're not in a your job it doesn't involve any kind of like infantry or

18:15

combat you know i'm virtually like logistics usually like administration now i've

18:21

heard nps use the term pogo and i'm like you're an mp mps are [ __ ] pogs are

18:27

biggest well so technically technically

18:33

uh 12 bravo engineer and the engineer combat engineer but

18:38

engineer and the engineers not combat arms you have four combat arms infantry field artillery

18:45

air defense artillery and [ __ ] but they don't give they don't give you

18:50

a cab and they don't give you a a combat infantry badge or cib so you get a c a b i got i have a

18:58

cib and a cab i have this i have the confidence infantry badge and i have a

19:03

combat action badge i have both i think that one was more because i was

19:10

in a combat unit out of the eighty second that is strange though second five i

19:15

thought you had to be an eleven bravo to cut or or like a ninety you have a scout you have to be in action oh armor that's the

19:22

fourth one right artillery air defense artillery armor and infantry those are the four combat combatant branches how

19:28

could i forget about the tankers everybody forgets about tankers because they're [ __ ] secluded in for a hood

19:34

nobody gives a [ __ ] about fort hood oh no there's their tanks at fort lewis

19:40

they're tanks i think for knox too right now knox has tanks well

19:47

benning they moved if i'm not mistaken they moved the armor ait or i guess i

19:52

think it's ocit i think i moved yeah because banning is now the the home of of of the

19:59

maneuver center of excellence and maneuvers is infantry and armor i heard that they're gonna they're slowly trying

20:05

to consolidate um different mosses to different because

20:10

some like for example i heard that fort lee is kind of in the

20:15

under the microscope they're like it's because it's so small and only certain mosses go there for

20:21

aits and it really doesn't serve much of any other purpose other than for ait that i

20:27

know of that they're looking to kind of move different aits to different for example

20:33

fort bragg would be ideal to be an ait for parachute rigger for example

20:39

because you can make the same argument for for bennett or benny's right or scary one school

20:45

yeah that's correct um but i'm just saying like what what i've been hearing it's just like they're looking at it from that you know you

20:52

have benning and you have fort bragg either of them could serve the purposes of of an ait for a parachute rigger

20:58

because they you have airborne school like you just said and you have fort bragg home of the airborne so and then you have um mortuary affairs i

21:06

believe is in four league you got 92 alphas you got 92 yankees you got uh you know mortuary when i was

21:13

there in 1998 8 no 1999 1997.

21:19

there was mortuary affairs in fort lee virginia there was uh 92 romeo's which is the knight and the parachute riggers

21:25

92 alphas ain't through romeo's yankees um knights were rotten the yankees ain't two officers um i was a beautiful fort

21:31

lee virginia in 2009 fort lee virginia [ __ ] sucks donkeys

21:37

okay i don't want to say it's the worst it's not the worst it is but it does suppose it sucks like long shiny black donkeys

21:44

mostly because of petersburg virginia the place is the whole the whole

21:49

surrounding there's really nothing about i remember the at the tail end of ait i remember they they let us like all right you guys

21:55

can go and do your like if you want to go out and go out like i think they if i remember

22:01

correctly you couldn't do anything for the first couple of weeks i think it was until like a certain week

22:07

maybe like week six or something like all right now you can like go to the mall but you gotta get back here or you

22:12

can like go now this is week seven now you can go like you know if you wanted to stay out with

22:18

you know if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend you can be out and then stay the night and come back if you were like on a friday to saturday

22:25

kind of thing but you had to come back and you had to tell somebody where you were kind of [ __ ] i don't know i don't

22:31

remember so i remember like the taylor and my buddies and i we all decided let's go to [ __ ] richmond virginia

22:37

yeah so we [ __ ] we got to i don't remember how we got there but we got to richmond virginia and

22:42

i don't know where we were i don't know what the name of the area was all i know is this cadillac this

22:49

white souped up cadillac with full of black eyes that again apparently just didn't like us for whatever reason they

22:56

got out of their car they parked right in front of us the [ __ ] you [ __ ] looking at and i'm like oh

23:01

like here we are we're gonna die that's it [ __ ] we're gonna die we didn't even do anything

23:06

and then after like a good 10 seconds of like unnecessary aggression and like cursing us out and all that they were

23:12

like i would just [ __ ] with you and they just left and like what the [ __ ] was that all about it was the weirdest thing

23:18

and so when i was at fort lee virginia which is unfortunate which is unfortunate

23:25

i left fort benning right before a uh uh

23:30

isn't ocs at four penny well cs is it for penny yeah

23:36

but i didn't commission two so i was the base canadian 2008 2009 i didn't

23:41

commission until 2011. all right you went but you went through green to go

23:48

that's not a it's not a thing anymore no no it it is a thing but it's not it's going to go

23:53

well it is called greek as far as i know that still exists and this is still called great to go yeah um but green to

23:59

gold is a very specific thing green to gold is not

24:05

you're enlisted you became an officer that's not green to gold is a program you're on active duty you're enlisted

24:13

and you apply you well you have to apply to multiple things you have to apply to green to go

24:18

you have to apply to a college that has rotc and then if you're accepted they they

24:23

continue to pay you your uh whatever rank salary the salary

24:29

for whatever rank you were for the entire rotc in college experience you're making your your uh

24:36

your salary you're making your bah for whatever city your rotc is it's a very

24:41

specific thing and i think they cap the number of people that can do that this is how old i am back when i was in

24:47

the army in the early days yeah if you wanted to go to school it

24:53

was a very difficult process so what people were doing is i don't even think they'd do this

24:59

anymore because now we have the internet but they were doing correspondence courses where they send you the army

25:04

correspondence courses or something it's it's distance learning it's not really corresponding but but

25:09

it's a packet you got in the mail and you had to do all the things in this packet and then send it back in the mail

25:17

so there's nothing on computer this was all via the mail

25:22

so [Music] what's the mail you know snail mail like pony express

25:28

no like you know the ponytail guy back in the day a guy used to get on a pony with a with uh either satchels on or

25:35

like a [ __ ] truck somebody you never got on a pony yeah

25:42

you got a couple of horses i'm sure i got a couple of seahorses there which were like oh dude

25:48

i was actually just thinking about that too the other day i remember i i dated this guy

25:54

and he's a good looking guy i mean i didn't date him for long i didn't like i think i've had like the

26:00

one date and then we were gonna like all right let's go have sex and it's not dating and oh my i know it's

26:06

not dating um but i mean when he pulled down his pants i'm like oh god it's just so gross it was so like

26:13

little and he kept saying it's good for my size and i kept saying to myself that's not good for anything

26:20

like you don't don't say that to yourself you're just lying to yourself and

26:26

i don't feel bad about it but i [ __ ] left i'm like no dude i'm sorry wait you you lift i [ __ ]

26:31

in his face i'm like i gotta go

26:37

i didn't want it at the moment it's not what i wanted so now

26:42

anyway when i was at when i was at fort leave jacob i was dating a girl in who lived in in new jersey actually at the

26:48

time and uh i left i left fort benning right before a i think it must have been

26:55

on a friday uh before a long weekend and somehow i got into my mind or maybe

27:01

one of the drill sergeants before i left benning was [ __ ] with me and somehow it got into my mind that because this

27:07

was a long weekend they were gonna let us go for four days so i get to ait and i tell my girlfriend

27:13

at the time i'm like hey take a greyhound from new york city down to petersburg virginia and she sat on a bus

27:20

for eight hours and the next day i'm like you know we whatever we get into ait and

27:27

i'm like i'm like drill sergeant we're getting off for the weekend right and she's like what the [ __ ] like i don't

27:32

remember what you said but she was you can imagine like what the [ __ ] did you just say like i'm like yep i got a girlfriend that just

27:39

sat on a bus breakout she's like you better tell her to get right back on that bus and go right back to new york

27:44

man there's a female drill started yeah yeah i was like [ __ ]

27:50

i remember too like i think if i'm not mistaken speaking of female jurisdictions when i got to fort jackson

27:56

we had a female drill sergeant only one because they i think is the year prior

28:02

they had just made for jackson i'm gonna look that up integra you've you've said that several times but i'm you know but

28:08

i'm i keep saying that but i've never i've never but what fact is okay so what was the integrating integrated basic

28:15

training before or let me let me rephrase where did females go to basic training before no they went to they

28:22

went to the same basic training but i think they were in a day they had their own company they had their own or no i think they had same company different

28:28

building altogether but i think actually like things were getting

28:34

hold on when did fort jackson

28:39

become co-ed yeah because fort benning even in 2008 was

28:45

just males just males won the basic trinity 2008 that changed i think you know after they start allowing women

28:52

into combat arms but um i mean it may have changed slightly before then i honestly don't know

28:59

all right so uh while you were looking that up there was another story that was in 1994 so just three years before i was

29:06

there and but i mean the buildings because they

29:11

made them now we're all in one building but they were still co-ed but i don't mean co-ed like we were intermingling in

29:17

the building they divided the building in the like right down the middle

29:22

and all the hallways had these [ __ ] they built these partitions like all the bolts and the wood look brand new

29:29

and you could hear them on the other side of this wall and all the walls are concrete cinder blocks i mean everything

29:36

except for the hallway wall but you could see it on the floor like the tiles used to go all the way and they just [ __ ] blocked it with this wood [ __ ]

29:44

that you know was they painted it to look like the floor and it was just ridiculous and you could hear them on the other

29:50

side giggling and do whatever the [ __ ] girls do and um okay don't all go just giggle that's all

29:57

they do that is all they do all the time okay so another four libra junior story so we did uh you know we did like an ftx

30:02

event this before 92 inches school is only seven weeks so like we'd like oh no parachute is 13 weeks

30:09

but and so like it was all classroom it's the weirdest thing it was it was like does ait now have i'm trying to interrupt you does ait now have a uh eo

30:17

week or not eo um because now basic training is nine weeks

30:23

i think now it's it was nine weeks in 2000 it wasn't nine weeks in 97 it was only eight weeks

30:29

but i think they they told us that they added another week like oh they just added another week for these basic guys because of like

30:36

sensitivity training or whatever the [ __ ] it was that's an old-timer myth that's one of these old-timer myths

30:43

i was the extra week now i don't know what you mean by extra week

30:48

they made it nine so no it's all like i know what you mean i was in front i know what you mean but i don't think you know

30:54

what you mean let me tell you what you think you mean they made they went from eight weeks to

31:00

nine weeks at some point 2006 2005 whatever and it's not like

31:05

the other eight weeks were the exact same and they added another week and filled it with something no it went from

31:11

eight to nine and they readjusted so it's like what's in the extra same shape it's the same [ __ ] with maybe an

31:18

additional we we we got 40 hours of combatives i remember in in in mine but

31:24

that was that's only part of it right because it's not like they yeah yeah you're gonna do all the other [ __ ] too right so like it's it's the question of

31:30

like well what's the extra week doesn't make sense it's the same [ __ ] maybe maybe they found that they needed

31:36

an extra day or two for basic rifle marksmanship or maybe they they decided they needed an extra day or two you know

31:42

maybe all the [ __ ] snowflakes in the army now just can't handle it so they need an extra week to so they can adjust

31:47

because mommy and daddy failed and again it's it's it's not again the question doesn't make sense

31:53

now um could it have changed in the last 14 years since i went to basic training

31:59

of course but i highly hi a matter of fact i will ask somebody at my unit that recently came

32:06

out of basic training if they had a full week of like sensitivity and sharp and eo and i i highly dude i went to basic

32:12

in 97 so that was 25 25 years holy [ __ ] that was a quarter

32:19

of a century ago that's right then you don't look a day over 50.

32:25

i'm telling you thank you that's awesome man yeah it's great it didn't come out right because it came out as a compliment i know

32:35

okay now i reclassed i went to i went to kosovo

32:41

out of the 82nd in 99 and reclassed

32:50

no that's not accurate at all got to fort bragg in 98. and they told

32:56

me i had to be to reclass i didn't immediately within like i think the second or third week of being a

33:03

parachute rigger in fort bragg i'm like this [ __ ] sucks i this is not what the recruiter told me

33:09

this is going to be what did the recruiter tell you ricky perisher rigging was going to be oh you're going to be in a warehouse it's

33:15

air conditioned it's all nice and you don't have to worry about combat and all this stuff and

33:20

it's it's real clean and you know you don't have to worry about all this regular army stuff you're going to get i mean it's like all right cool

33:27

what did rigging turn out to be parachutes 25 parachutes did a day we

33:35

were lucky if the [ __ ] ac worked for a few hours the doors were always open we always had these massive [ __ ] these industrial

33:42

fans and dude if you've been in north carolina [ __ ] fayetteville heat

33:48

that [ __ ] sucks and then you're under so much pressure and back then was the old t-10 charlie

33:54

parachute and the mc1-1 the mc-1-1 charlie parachute and the mc ones were

34:00

[ __ ] they were a pain in the ass to pack and when we had a day that we had to pack reserves i'm like you know what i'd

34:06

rather shoot myself in the foot than have to pack reserves because that was the worst thing in the [ __ ] summer heat and then they had

34:13

they had usually was some [ __ ] that was going on we always had to stop and

34:19

you don't leave until you've packed 25 parachutes that means every if you pack 25 parachutes and it is 2

34:26

o'clock in the afternoon goodbye have a nice day go do whatever you're going to do for the rest of the day and there were guys

34:31

who could do that um but if you were new and you were there a

34:36

couple weeks and it was eight o'clock at night and you were on parachute number 23 guess what the [ __ ] other bigger

34:43

side the sergeant the inspector would say you gotta like three or two or three more let's go and i'm like dude it's

34:48

eight o'clock like yeah well then [ __ ] hurry up because i want to go home too yeah [ __ ] that and it's hot and then

34:55

guess what you're done at eight o'clock 8 30 you start to drive back to your barracks take a [ __ ] shower wash your

35:01

ass and then guess what you got to do oh random [ __ ] we're going on a brigade run or a [ __ ] no oh you got to be up

35:08

[ __ ] i j oh my god call that you know what and then you got the [ __ ] brigade commanders like oh you know what

35:13

i feel like we should go run five miles through the fire breaks [ __ ] you and [ __ ] your mother for having you

35:19

because now i'm tired from the night before i gotta go run five miles do an airborne shuffle behind a bunch of other

35:26

[ __ ] folks who have no idea how to even take one step next you know behind the other run [ __ ] let's

35:32

go i was in fast group when i was in and if you can believe it so i wanted to run but but when you're

35:38

running in a formation like even company runs you're like oh my god you're so slow like let's just do it i'm telling

35:43

you i couldn't run to save my if i were to die versus run i'd just kill him just if zombie apocalypse came and i

35:50

wasn't home i'm like just let him eat me dude because then there's no way [ __ ] i'm running that can't be i can't be

35:55

you're part of my apocalypse plan so you better the plan is that the plan is to as soon as she

36:01

hits the fan get the [ __ ] [ __ ] put it in the jeep and get come right the [ __ ] here

36:07

don't the [ __ ] are not you're gonna hunker down in your in in your house and we're gonna decide how we're gonna live

36:13

in two different houses uh uh you know and how we're gonna make it work but uh you know i thought we

36:19

were putting the bunker in the back you mean in the hill built into the hill that's right i don't know we ain't got

36:25

the money for that yet not until the crypto's crypto listen if you want us to build a bunker in my backyard go to

36:32

patreon venmo cash app and paypal and and donate as soon as the

36:39

website is up and running buy all the [ __ ] all the merch and i promise build the bunker we will build a bunker in my

36:45

backyard we will show you the the progress i mean we can't show you everything because it it should be i'm

36:51

just kidding yeah some of it should be like where the entrance is yeah i mean we can show you the inside

36:57

i'm just not going to show you like a satellite view we're not going to show you where it is that we go in and out

37:02

you know right but we will give you a tour um and perhaps one lucky fan will

37:09

get an in-person tour of uh no no no that's not one what if

37:16

they're passable oh

37:22

oh god he's more worried about what your pronouns are

37:28

i am i will respect the [ __ ] out of your pronouns in my bunker just you and me

37:35

i'll take ann on a shopping spree come on anna let's go let's go let's go to wilmington for a

37:41

week it doesn't have to be a week how much stamina do you think i got hey listen you're jewish did you kind of

37:47

like all this stamina in the world i got all the gold in the world the end it's in my ju

37:52

flaps oh god tick tock i can say this i'm jewish don't ban me

37:57

um where were we what were we talking about oh you're talking about a lot of things pull up some videos poops wait a

38:03

minute let me just finish i remember no we don't finish it and you're not allowed to finish on this

38:08

show come on we came and i reclassed and then went to kosovo

38:14

or where was that ordered my uh i ordered my new ribbon rack because because since the last time i had a

38:20

couple of new awards i've actually seen this happen hold on

38:26

what you're about to see in this next video when they do a door breach they are so quiet i'm telling you this is

38:32

that i've seen i don't understand what happened actually that guy ran through the door hold on that's not what i saw

38:38

when i was in fort leonard wood for ait for a combat engineer we learned how to do door

38:44

breaches you know the explosives and she put him on the door to blow a door to go in

38:49

urban warfare and the dead cord i think was set in like it

38:56

was improperly set the dead cord for the detonator which you put and

39:01

the door didn't initially blow but we're talking like hey don't just [ __ ] lollygag your way oh let me see

39:09

because that's exactly how the drill starts okay this is what the drills are said and that's i think believe i

39:14

believe in my heart that this is what they teach them to say in drill sergeant school because i know that every sergeant says the same [ __ ] words say

39:21

if you [ __ ] don't do what i tell you to do one of you dumbasses is gonna die

39:27

they all say it they all say it well this dumbass this dumbass almost [ __ ] died the

39:33

drill sergeant no the [ __ ] [ __ ] that went did what the drill sergeant told them not to do and the dead court

39:39

was not properly said and or it was it was not it was faulty it

39:45

wasn't tied down right so when he went to go check it the [ __ ] went straight to the door

39:51

like to see the dead court on the door rather than look at the detonator itself and the door blew right at him jesus the

39:58

explosion was on the opposite side though so the explosion part was in the opposite door he was behind the door and

40:04

the door [ __ ] it just iced him this guy was down for the count like tyson

40:10

had hit him it was like hey you good even the drill sergeant the drill sergeant was so mad that he went to the

40:15

door because he had already told him not to that instead of checking on him the drill sergeant i swear to god and

40:21

everything holy with his boot and we had the old leather black boots touched him on this chest hey dumbass

40:29

you dead i'm like hey i'm thinking drill sergeant he might need help no he doesn't god

40:35

gave him all the help he needed right there i was like holy [ __ ] we're gonna [ __ ]

40:40

die and then he got up he's like what happened

40:45

and all the drills are and says well hello daisy good morning dumbass oh my

40:52

this sentence i got more games than what i finished this sentence more games

40:59

than xbox no i never heard of drill song to say that i got more games than milton bradley

41:04

like oh you want to play games i got i never heard okay you know what maybe maybe they updated their sayings you

41:10

know they had to like at some point you know like yeah i got more games than those yeah you wouldn't play play games

41:16

i got more games it's a

41:21

oh my god in basic training i remember i had this so true story i grew up in in

41:27

the puerto rican household i'm sicilian in puerto rico can you play a gosh hold on hold on but this is going back to

41:32

drill sergeants being evil joe sergeant you would yell at everybody and

41:38

everybody was scared he yelled at me once and this is a drill sergeant white he yelled at me and i didn't flinch he

41:44

was like oh you're not scared of me what do you think you're a tough guy ethnicity was drill sergeant he's black

41:49

he was actually but joe sandra white i don't remember his first name drill sergeant last name white

41:54

and but he was a former mr virginia he's a bodybuilder and we used to call him optimus prime because he was like [ __ ]

42:00

him up no i haven't actually i should do that if you know who he is yeah he was i mean this dude was like [ __ ]

42:06

you know he was the man and his voice was unnecessarily deep like too deep for his own good

42:12

and he was yelling at everybody and his voice was deep yelled at me and i didn't flinch he goes oh you think you're a tough guy you're not scared of me and it

42:19

says i'm not a tough guy drill sergeant he goes well then what's your promises i don't have a problem drill sergeant he goes you're not afraid you're not

42:25

nervous and i'm like no drill sergeant goes why not i said this is i don't know if you've and i said this word for word

42:30

i said drill sergeant with all due respect i don't know if you've ever spoken to other puerto ricans but this

42:36

is normal conversation in my house sicilian and puerto ricans this is normal conversation this tone this

42:42

yelling this level okay i told no i told you the story he looked at me like with confusion like are you

42:49

[ __ ] serious yelled at everybody every other day after that and when he came to me he

42:55

would stand right here next to mine he goes leon leon i need you to do some push-ups right now

43:02

beat your face front leaning rest do it now please please would you do that for me

43:09

and i'd get right down and do push-ups and i remember another drill sergeant i can't remember his name he goes what [ __ ] you talk that boy i like that he

43:15

goes he doesn't respond to anything else i talk to him like this he'll get it

43:20

done did i ever tell you we had this guy uh from i think samoa or guam

43:26

in our basic training did not speak a word of english we had a bangladeshi guy like that too

43:32

a bangladeshi well okay but he's not part of the united states no no but he was american but i think he's

43:38

like okay back then guys you could you could join the army to get citizenship or

43:45

something yeah that's that's what he was trying to do but he went to for uh lachlan air force base to go to their

43:51

english school at the time and apparently he passed when he got there [ __ ] didn't understand a word anybody

43:57

was saying so they sent his ass back and i'm like dude what the [ __ ] so

44:03

so this guy read i i think it was from guam and anytime

44:09

we get smoked like first of all and i guess it's now 14 years so i don't

44:15

quite remember but i i just i remember him not supposedly not being able to speak english he he would like

44:22

try to do the exercises when we were getting smoke but like occasionally and he looked old

44:28

and i don't know i don't know if people age you know heavily in in guam or maybe this guy was

44:35

truly like in his 50s but like i swear to god occasionally like

44:42

i don't know we would need to get into a certain position and he'd like he'd like shake his head and he'd be like he'd

44:48

point to his knees and like they'd be like they'd be like they'd be like in basic

44:54

amazing and they'd be they'd be like they have a profile i got a problem like like i'm old and i don't know and

45:01

they would yell at him and he'd be like this like and they they would they would look at

45:06

him and they would just be like do this and he would just do stand there and do that do that not do yeah they'd walk away

45:13

all you have to do is be like [Laughter]

45:20

the joke was like on the graduation day he'd be like guys i can speak perfect english no [ __ ] no but he didn't he

45:26

didn't do that but like that was the joke that that was that was gonna happen i i wish that would happen that would

45:31

have been the most amazing thing that he would have just trolled all the drill sergeants for [ __ ] however however

45:37

any weeks and i i don't understand how somebody who doesn't speak a word of english but i i always because i remember when i

45:44

was in basic training i had a guy like that i mean he was a white guy granted this guy had to have been i think was

45:50

the age cut off age 32. yeah back in 97 and he was like 32.

45:56

this guy looked all the 53 i mean just

46:02

i don't know he looked like he was 53 but he was he was around like i guess like at the 30 like the cutoff age

46:09

and he couldn't do jack [ __ ] but he made it through all the way to the end but he couldn't do jack push-ups [ __ ] they

46:16

smoked him out side shuttle hops smoked him out i mean he couldn't do and any like give him a five minutes and this

46:22

guy was done i swear to god he [ __ ] fell out of every run i'm like but we're in basic you can't

46:28

how are you i remember the only run i ever fell out of like maybe like the first week because i was completely out

46:34

of shape and you know you that's typical um but i mean i was falling out of the run

46:39

like almost like at the end it's like [ __ ] this guy like a quarter of a mile in you'd see

46:45

him going off and the other drill star is like where the [ __ ] and you just hear like the voice kind of drifting off and

46:50

they just smoke the [ __ ] out of them on the corner and we're just keep going like oh [ __ ] he's gonna die and

46:57

i don't know i don't understand but i mean we had there's a few people a lot of we had a lot of spanish people

47:04

and that one bangladeshi guy that all came from lachlan air force base

47:09

to the english school at the time i don't know if they moved or if they still have it at lachlan but they had to go to learn english at lachlan air force

47:15

base that butchered by believers in texas and once you graduated that or they i

47:20

guess deemed you passable they then sent you to basic training because you couldn't do basic unless you

47:26

knew english at the time that would make sense so by 2008 we were in iraq and afghanistan

47:33

like that it makes sense they're like okay you can't speak english yeah dude

47:39

so but this was in 97 so i know the funny thing was like at the time

47:44

everything was still geared around jungle warfare so everything we were learning

47:49

was still like old school army jungle urban warfare hadn't even

47:54

been a thing i think it was it wasn't until 2000 and i don't know would have been like 2003 one or two

48:02

no because we went into 2000 and iraq 2001 but they didn't even start

48:08

afghanistan was almost one right but they but they even with that they didn't even start urban training until like oh

48:15

three or something until we went to yeah yeah it's like it was like a hole so we were still doing this all this jungle

48:22

[ __ ] and i remember it all that you know vaguely

48:27

but um but man yeah i miss it

48:33

you were seeing these videos of uh there's this one guys this blonde guy he does uh his videos are mixed like

48:41

they're all all about army things but some of them are a lot like things that blonde guy he's pretty sure he's blonde

48:49

and it's like things that privates say in basic training to drill sergeant seriously this video no no but not like

48:54

funny like like oh private why'd you join the army oh you know my father's in jail my mother killed herself and he's

49:00

like we're like you know oh drill sergeant you know i'm i'm an orphan that's because the only way i could afford to

49:05

feed myself and though but like like what does a drill sergeant say today right like [ __ ]

49:12

yeah it's like i guarantee with my day the drill science would have definitely found a

49:17

few choice things to say because back in my day we weren't they weren't pc

49:23

and i remember i think the the regulations had changed a few years

49:29

before that where the drill sergeants were no longer allowed to touch you are they they didn't touch you in your business oh they [ __ ] did they sure

49:36

the [ __ ] did they found very creative ways to to do it so so okay so they can say they were

49:43

doing equipment adjustments well suppose while they were pulling on your [ __ ] collar or or checking your buttons on

49:50

your [ __ ] we had the whole btus so even in 2008 well he had a spider on his stomach bomb [ __ ] yeah eve even

49:56

in even in 2008 um so i remember this one time we were at

50:02

the range and you know you know maybe they didn't i don't maybe they did

50:09

it this way but in my basic training um when after the range you were to like

50:14

you know check yourself for from around yeah and like you literally as they walked by

50:20

you not by you but like they checked everybody physically yeah right and you were to say no breasts no i'm a drill

50:26

sergeant yeah yeah okay so that's the same thing anyway they would like full force like bam

50:34

you know like check your pockets right like oh and i didn't want to go flying back

50:39

so i put my foot just just you just brace yourself just a little bit just move the back echoes you

50:47

better put your [ __ ] foot back where it was and then he went even harder bam

50:52

i didn't fall backwards because he caught me but uh he he saw he saw my foot move he

51:00

i saw immediately on his face he saw my foot so i remember the i remember i learned this from one of the drill stars

51:07

because somebody brought it up and i'm if i'm not mistaken the kid was jewish and i remember him because he

51:14

loved this remember uh i don't know do you remember the song i love sexting candy i love sexting

51:20

candy no anyway um and he was from queens

51:26

and i remember him and he walked kind of funny so i said to him he had scoliosis so i'm like okay but um

51:34

i remember that one of the drill signs asked him like like what's wrong with your back he was guys got scoliosis real sword and he goes all right

51:40

and he goes i got something to straighten that out all right and

51:45

literally this jewish kid said well drison you can't really hit me and the drill sergeant's eyes his

51:51

his you know their hats are always his head went up and his eyes open he goes let me explain to you about the

51:57

geneva convention and he went on and he said do you know the army

52:02

or in war are opposing armies according to the geneva convention rules of war whatever engagement they're not allowed

52:08

to shoot at airborne soldiers however they can shoot it there

52:14

he goes your uniform is equipment your lbe your [ __ ] rook that's all

52:19

equipment he goes right now i'm your enemy and your uniform is equipment and he [ __ ]

52:26

turned this kid upside down he goes you gonna say something smart to me now in

52:32

new york city and he says no drill son he goes how about i drop you on your [ __ ] head oh wait i can't do that it's not equipment

52:39

and we were all like dude just shut the [ __ ] up man hold on wait wait the kid said you can't do that stunt equipment

52:45

but the drill surgery i can't do that it's not equipment the drill sergeant said because he said

52:50

i could drop you on your [ __ ] head oh wait your head's not equipment because he had him by the [ __ ] lb top

52:57

and he told him to put his feet i mean hit by his by he told him to put his pc in and uh no

53:02

no then he just he let him go he put him back on his feet and all he said was the next time i ask you a question the first

53:10

words out of your [ __ ] mouth is drill sergeant and the last words out of your mouth is drill sergeant because if

53:15

you're asking yourself why i [ __ ] hemmed you up right now it's because you failed to address me properly and we

53:21

were all looking at each other like mother [ __ ] this guy's for real like we're not [ __ ] around

53:27

and then drill sergeant white i had a problem because i was nervous

53:32

about [ __ ] up um the like marching like we were do you ever practice for like marching it's cool

53:39

well yeah well i mean no no no but we were like in like some [ __ ] parking lot i can't remember where we were yeah

53:45

you weren't doing it no no but it wasn't for it wasn't for that it was for like some competition

53:51

like all these [ __ ] uh basic training units have that you want you're okay

53:57

well i was always i never wanted to be in front i wanted to be a middle person all the time

54:03

in the squads because for the life of me if i had to do a counter collision save my [ __ ] life

54:11

i don't know which way in between who i have to go so if i had to do a counter column to save my own life just kill me

54:17

so i was constantly [ __ ] this up and drill sergeant white was behind me and he grabbed me by my [ __ ] collar and

54:24

he all the way back went on to the floor on my back he goes [ __ ] how many

54:29

times do we have to do this before you get and i said drill sergeant i'm never gonna get this drill sergeant can i

54:35

please switch places and just go in the middle either that or just kick me out he goes you'd love that huh you'd love

54:41

for me to kick you out but no [ __ ] you up is the br is the highlight of my day leon but you know what i will grant

54:47

you this wish because you were a [ __ ] screw up you're eight up get in the middle i'm like great the first time

54:52

they demonstrated counter column they they they picked four privates and they were like you know you step

54:59

like you take a step yeah and so it was only four demonstrated it

55:05

for you guys well you guys i swear to god you got to be taught something even back then shut up

55:14

shut up i can't i can't no i'm not even going to get i remember this they were like the drill sergeant said

55:19

counter column everybody stopped and looked like what the [ __ ] are we supposed to do and that's when the drill

55:24

sergeant said all right dumb asses come on he took the first gun this was do you go this way so they didn't demonstrate

55:30

it they didn't demonstrate they just kind of pointed out a demonstration so instead of doing with a full with the

55:36

demonstration is when somebody else is doing it and you watch well the demonstration was with four privates

55:41

it just it wasn't what the f with the full formation was just with four and they they did it right all you need

55:47

is four because then yes everybody else just followed yeah so they you know they they were doing it with four and i was

55:53

like when the [ __ ] are you ever gonna do that in combat what [ __ ] purpose does that

55:59

sir even in [ __ ] like old-timey [ __ ] like just do three [ __ ] three

56:06

cups left march one or four columns yeah purpose does the counter column what

56:12

purpose does it deserve just do three you know one one two

56:19

one i swear to god so many enemies need two any enemy wants to know how many soldiers is in a [ __ ] platoon just

56:25

look at a counter column and you oh there's about 30 these [ __ ] here easily you just you just need two

56:32

one right turn and one right turn 90 and 90 is 180. it is the simplest thing to get rid of

56:39

the counter column because it serves absolutely no [ __ ] purpose no purpose whatsoever the counter column shouldn't

56:46

even be in the army or in any military for that purpose because it other than maybe for

56:51

a parade even at a parade you don't do a counter column have you ever seen

57:08

i must have added one of my drill sergeants on facebook i don't know about the other two i'm

57:13

sure i could find them if i really tried uh but to this day i might still oh my god my drill sergeant jose

57:19

because he was in seventh group and he knew that some of us were going to fort bragg he said to us real clear he goes if you

57:25

ever see me this is like right when we're about to graduate basic he's like you ever see me in fort bragg you don't [ __ ] say hi to me because i am not

57:31

your [ __ ] friend you better [ __ ] turn left or turn right and get the [ __ ] away from me okay

57:37

now i'm in fort bragg you're you're still before breakfast and i'm in i'm in uh i'm in the 82nd but we used to go to

57:44

seventh groups chow hall because it was [ __ ] phenomenal seventh group had the best chow hall

57:49

and he there he is and i see him he's about four or five people behind me and i'm in

57:55

the chow hall line getting my child he's sticking his head like this he's doing all this all the [ __ ] like [ __ ] and he cuts the line

58:03

and he goes right to him he goes oh leon you're not gonna say he says this but no this was like a while later like

58:10

now now i'm like an e5 at the point so this is like damn this [ __ ] guy still knows who i am i'm an e5 now

58:16

and at the time when he was my drill sergeant was an e6 so he's like dude you have to be an e8

58:21

at least by now i do you know what now i can't remember to be honest with you but he was there he recognized me

58:27

and he says leon you're not even gonna [ __ ] he goes oh sergeant big time huh you're not even gonna say hi to me now

58:33

what am i [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] and said drill sergeant and i address him as drill sergeant even though he wasn't hit

58:40

i said drill sergeant you were very clear i am not to say hi to you i am not to

58:45

even acknowledge you because and i quote you are not my [ __ ] friend i'm i'm gonna i'm gonna accept i

58:52

i i know you didn't want to get this distracted ah it's fine but uh you know we got a couple of

58:57

minutes left in the pocket let's just do it

59:02

what is this bro whoever this is you picked the wrong

59:09

one tell him yeah dude what the [ __ ] doing black screen all you want is the likes with the verses what are you doing

59:16

no i [ __ ] this pope anyway and he sat with me he got his food decided to sit with me at the [ __ ]

59:24

childhood table we ate [ __ ] chow together he chose jose and all and all

59:30

he wanted to do was ask me about how it's been going so far in my career and but the first thing

59:36

he said was damn leon i didn't expect you to last this long i thought your dumb ass would have been gone after four

59:42

years and i'm like yeah i guess i'm too stupid to quit and he's like ah that's a good one but don't think you're funny

59:47

eat your [ __ ] food i'm like you sat with me you sat with like dude i was mine i

59:53

followed orders i left you alone and i sat at this table and you invited yourself

59:59

but it was funny but he's one of the he's one of those and he was speaking spanish to me all the time he would because he was in

1:00:05

seventh group and for those who don't know seven special forces group is mainly a spanish-speaking sf group their

1:00:11

south carolina uh was that there's south come on yeah south america so they speak a lot of spanish so when i

1:00:17

was in basic and he was my drill sergeant he would say all this other [ __ ] in spanish and then come next to me

1:00:22

he says was that right did i say that right i'm like joe sorry because he was in the native speaker yeah no so he was it's

1:00:28

like no dressage you said this wrong he said this and he's like all right thank you thank you and then he always for some reason he carried that [ __ ]

1:00:36

brass rod that they put down the [ __ ] barrel of the m16 because we had in 1682

1:00:49

yeah so he always had one of those in his hand and when he asked me like did i say that right leon did i say that and i

1:00:54

said yes something he goes all right good [ __ ] as of like two years ago or something you're not allowed to use clearing rods

1:01:00

no yes he always had one on his head and you know why because too many people have gotten [ __ ] shot with a clearing

1:01:06

rod you leave a clear rod in the barrel and you shoot it with and there's a blank because they would they would

1:01:11

throw it down the barrel and it would pop and it'd [ __ ] go no not even from from that i'm talking about like the

1:01:17

dumb asses left rods and barrels still in there and then you put a blanks in and the blank [ __ ] shoots it out like

1:01:24

a [ __ ] long-ass bullet oh but don't you have the [ __ ] uh the the barrels of the cover the little red [ __ ] that

1:01:31

you put on the barrel when you have miles gear the little barrel cover thing that's red you swear yeah yeah

1:01:38

yeah yeah i enough i'm telling you enough people have gotten a job matter of fact how much of a dumbass when i

1:01:43

went to basic training how do you not know that it's got a big fan when i went to basic training there was a post you

1:01:49

know how basically they'll have the posters right one of the posters was a color picture

1:01:55

of someone's thigh impaled with a [ __ ] uniform not impaled but like it was like a red spot

1:02:02

and the drill surgeons were like do you know what this is this is a clearing rod that in left they're like this they're

1:02:09

like it was last cycle it was like two months before i went to basic training took a picture of it it went straight

1:02:15

through somebody somebody did a negligent discharge with a blank there was a

1:02:20

clearing rod in there some drill sergeant like nigel says some private was like ah like something hit me and

1:02:25

then another problem was like why are your pants turning red and then drill sergeants [ __ ] came over and like you

1:02:32

know did pressure yeah yeah yeah holy [ __ ] another one a dumbass another private because of drill sergeants lost

1:02:38

the testicle during during the cycle during the cycle that i was there okay so last last story because we're we're

1:02:46

almost at a time uh uh apparently you gotta you gotta go pick up this one

1:02:52

so it's at at some point um so the the reason he lost his testicle was he he

1:02:59

had testicular torsion which you know that is right no the balls twist around each other oh

1:03:04

so it happened okay so it happened to him and he started saying like drill sergeants like

1:03:10

my balls hurt they were like shut the [ __ ] up we don't want to hear it any and he started complaining and for like two

1:03:16

days straight he was like complaining about his balls hurting and suddenly he's like drill sergeant my t my my my

1:03:21

nut sack is a different color it's like a weird color than it should and they sent him to sick call and

1:03:27

because it had been twisted for two days they were purple or something it was two

1:03:32

days without circulation to the to and it had died it had it had atrophied and died

1:03:40

what lawsuit what lawsuit you can't do the army

1:03:47

down the line but uh he was like they did surgery they removed the testicle luckily they were

1:03:54

able to save one and like a couple of days later he was back in formation

1:03:59

healing from the surgery and the drill sergeants they felt so bad they treated

1:04:04

him nicely for the rest of the time they [ __ ] [ __ ] them up wow

1:04:10

i wouldn't know if i was a drill sergeant i'm like i would say if any other drill sergeant even attempts to smoke this kid i will

1:04:17

[ __ ] you up yeah leave him alone dude wow that's a [ __ ] that's probably the most

1:04:22

[ __ ] up story i've ever heard uh i hope that guy's i mean i hope he

1:04:29

had kids if you want man i hope he's doing okay whoever that guy is yeah so

1:04:34

anyway so long story short as of a couple of like two years ago and you know okay they can't however hold the they don't

1:04:40

use the firing rods anymore yeah they're clearing now here's another thing uh so you know the acft is the new the

1:04:47

new fitness test uh as of a year or maybe two years ago there's a different uh uh firing

1:04:54

uh like like for for qual rifle qualification it's different than with what you had

1:05:00

you had uh prone supported prone unsupported and then kneeling yeah

1:05:06

there's four four or five positions now okay so

1:05:12

um four four or five

1:05:18

and and we're actually we're doing rifle call next month actually so what we're we're gonna have like little papers like

1:05:23

as as hints so previously what as hints well because because you have to know

1:05:29

what the previously they would say all right and and and now remove your sandbag and get

1:05:35

into prone unsupported position and load your magazine now it's it's two minutes and you have

1:05:42

to do the mag changes and you have to know the suitance on yourself it's part of the qualification that you have to

1:05:47

or that you can't be guided from the tower right so first of all i'm you know i'm so you

1:05:53

have to know your steps yeah process so just because you can't be helped from the tower doesn't mean you can't have a

1:05:59

little piece of paper yeah yeah there's like guiding kind of like a cheat sheet look at choo

1:06:04

so uh you start from the standing position and there's like a little like a little

1:06:09

wall there like a little plywood plywood wall okay and and the first i think the first

1:06:14

target is gonna be 50 meter i don't remember anyway the first target comes up you shoot one round like like

1:06:21

not even supported you just kind of shoot one round yeah then you immediately get into the prone it's

1:06:26

either supported or unsupported so like it's so just like the acft the whole idea is

1:06:31

to like train towards something in combat yeah and the idea is it makes a lot of right and so

1:06:38

the idea is you know you're you're on patrol and then you get contact what do you do do you immediately return fire

1:06:43

and you and you get into a covered covered concealed position so you you fire one round you get down

1:06:49

and like i said i don't know if it's prone supported or prone unsupported i think it might be unsupported and they

1:06:55

time it you say it's two yeah it's two minutes say seven things before you get seven times still 40 rounds they never timed us it's a new thing we weren't

1:07:02

timed no 100 percent in 1997 look up a a basic we were in

1:07:08

time i mean i think the whole process the whole day has a process but i don't ever

1:07:14

remember being timed but again we didn't have the position so we had only some of the positions that they had rightful

1:07:20

qualification twice a year from 1999 to the day you retired correct rangers do we do other like we do we do a standing

1:07:27

position for a ranger call also for for the range qual we do a standing position we do prone supported unsupported we do

1:07:35

kneeling we do standing we do um and and wait a minute and we also do for

1:07:41

example in my i was heavy arms and demolition so that means that whenever i was at the range and i had to do call i

1:07:47

also had to crawl with my my my um the weapon that i was assigned so it's at the beginning because i i i

1:07:54

initially fought tooth and nail to not get i think it was that what is it the saw or the

1:08:00

240. i think it was a saw they wanted to give me the saw which fires the 556 but

1:08:05

it was i think i never placed the m60 and i didn't want it because you know 240 broker were placed it was

1:08:11

there all right it had way too many moving parts it's like this is a piece of [ __ ] it jammed up way too easy and it

1:08:18

weighs a [ __ ] ton i said but the m60 i can disassemble it and reassemble it

1:08:23

in about you know but i don't know eight seconds fairly quick you know and it right it was really easy

1:08:29

to fire so i was able to maintain that up until about 2000 and

1:08:35

i think 2006 or seven when they're like alright you got no [ __ ] choice now this is what it is like enough for the

1:08:40

[ __ ] but you we still we still had to qualify because as a heavy arms and demolition guy

1:08:46

when it came to range day i did the standard you know all the range positions including standing which i

1:08:52

don't know if regular army does that standing not until you know until uh recently not until the the new the new

1:08:58

qualification yeah no we did it standing and you know they teach out like you kind of like lean forward a bit and all that [ __ ]

1:09:04

and what you'll call it but then you also had to qualify or at least i did along with other people that were there you

1:09:10

had to qualify with the weapon if you're heavy arms with that weapon too so that means they watch you everybody else

1:09:16

leaves the range it's not just ranger and like saw gunners qualify with the saw well

1:09:23

it's all on the same day though no no i just understand like if if you're on a

1:09:28

you know weapon squad ride like in an infantry platoon

1:09:35

and if you shoot the 240 you're going to qualify with the 240 right in addition to the m4 like that's that's not just

1:09:40

rangers but anyway so the the the the recent changes it's you fire one round then you get into the prone you finish

1:09:47

the mag then i think you get either into another prone or into kneeling and then you finish

1:09:53

in like not quite standing in like a uh and

1:09:58

like shorter than standing taller than kneeling it's like a like a crouch position

1:10:05

taller than a crouch it's like as long as you have a little bit of a little higher than a squat

1:10:11

i would say a little bit shorter than full standing like the the guidance is as long as your knees are a little bit

1:10:17

bent you know so yes you just kind of like do like a little little knee bend but also you

1:10:22

have a a uh the plywood you can it's it's like standing oh we don't have blood when we didn't ever use them i

1:10:29

know this is only this is only two in the last two years so so the last position we have like

1:10:34

what we did was this this was our position this is or i don't know maybe rangers do it differently we're just standing up fully wipe it up here and

1:10:41

they told us to lean forward just a bit yeah that's like like a like a full standing so this is this is i think they

1:10:47

call it standing supported okay so like yeah that's maybe that's a new relation like this i just said the last just

1:10:53

they just they just changed it last time i did last time i did anything was 2015. that

1:10:59

was the last time i [ __ ] did and yeah and they didn't they didn't acft didn't didn't

1:11:04

become the the technically they didn't become the test of record until this year yeah and then the uh the news

1:11:16

push-ups i think they just actually switched to crunches what the army never did

1:11:21

crunches lunches or remember that i'm wrong because we always did sit-ups sit-ups push-ups well we didn't do it i

1:11:27

think because you knew now you have that push-up where you do the hand release push-up that's right we did straight push-ups and you have two minutes to do

1:11:34

as many push-ups that's the a-p-f-t they did not change the acft did not become the the the test

1:11:41

of record until until this year okay practice reserve we get another like year

1:11:46

um and then the the new m4 qualification tables didn't didn't go into effect

1:11:51

until like a year a year ago did you see not to change the subject but not because we're talking about the range and

1:11:57

everything somebody on tic tac said that the button on the side of the rifle is what changes it not the switch not the

1:12:03

selector i'm talking about when you perform sports on

1:12:10

he said this is the button that switches that puts it make it automatic it was on tick tock and i'm like you got to be [ __ ] kidding me this is the most

1:12:17

[ __ ] thing i can't believe everything you please don't believe this is not but what they did do like three

1:12:22

or four years ago because for the longest time the at the m16 a4 and then eventually in the m4

1:12:29

you had you had single single fire you had three round bursts and three rubber bars and safe like three or four years ago they made

1:12:35

every single m4 uh full honor yeah i remember that and it's interesting because like i remember

1:12:41

reading about it they they didn't like manufacture new weapons

1:12:47

they literally sent sent the m4s with the three remembers to the armor

1:12:52

right or wherever and they did something inside and they just scratched out the word

1:12:58

burst and replaced it like a dremel

1:13:03

that's yeah army right there to save a dollar i just use a dremel one by one

1:13:08

right rocket like stretched it out the word the word that's and [ __ ] incredible i do remember

1:13:15

though we had some guys these guys were like weapons geniuses and they could because i remember we

1:13:21

still had semi-automatic the the you know three-round birth so but guys used to know how to [ __ ]

1:13:27

with these weapons so much they could do i don't remember anybody doing full auto but they could make it to her like it

1:13:33

would shoot you know five or six rounds like that was the burst and then it would stop and i'm like how'd you do

1:13:38

that go like i can't tell you that because then everybody's gonna do it and i'm like dude you can't [ __ ] do that

1:13:44

and not tell me and you know they're like what are you worried about it you got the [ __ ] you got the 240 and i'm like i dude you know

1:13:50

okay but why i don't understand the one thing i missed the most

1:13:56

and i only did it twice because apparently in afghanistan it was it was too dangerous to do [ __ ] a woman

1:14:03

dude no it was when i still had the m60 i shot the m60

1:14:09

delta which is an m60 that's just attached to the side of you're in a blackhawk open

1:14:14

door and it's got the thing and you're attached to it you can shoot but because they had [ __ ] surface-to-air missiles

1:14:20

like those whatever you know like [ __ ] feel like you can't do this because all the the

1:14:25

they were in such danger like you're going to get shot you're safer on the ground than we were in helicopter because they were constantly trying to

1:14:31

shoot at them with surface-to-air missiles that it was i should say a record afghanistan

1:14:36

afghanistan i don't know if they had actual service that they might have had not might have they definitely had rpgs

1:14:43

i don't know if they had proper surface-to-air missiles that's like they just kept calling themselves i guarantee

1:14:48

you they were probably rpgs but they kept calling them service air missiles and they were scared it was the reason they said we can't do this anymore this

1:14:55

is not safe you know to do this and plus it's not like

1:15:01

afghanistan has a hell of a lot more mountainous areas than iraq does but it was still i reckon

1:15:07

uh maybe up north maybe by the currents but um but one thing we learned quick is that these [ __ ] don't play by

1:15:13

the rules and they were coming out if you saw a shadow in a mountain that's a [ __ ] person

1:15:21

guaranteed because they knew how to hide in all these crevices and all these corners [ __ ] a cave all he needed was like a

1:15:27

little bit of a space wedge between and they would hide watching

1:15:33

no but i've seen like the thing for it but i've never seen the movie very good heavy movie i mean it's it's a

1:15:41

documentary it's a documentary that they aired in theaters uh about this uh this infantry company

1:15:47

in afghanistan well then i can't watch during um during uh

1:15:54

in helmand helman province which at the time whatever year they filmed this was like the most dangerous province yeah

1:16:00

[ __ ] that i can't watch that it was uh i think no i think on the border of afghanistan

1:16:06

yes that's right well that's i swear i was at tora bora so i mean it couldn't be maybe it was turmoil maybe it's horrible

1:16:13

because that's where i think it was torah torah was like it was the at the time that that's where i was foreign

1:16:19

anyway that's when we knew like hey like guys were getting in trouble because they were going across the border but we

1:16:25

didn't know it's not like there's a [ __ ] yeah you're just in a mountain you're you don't really know kind of where that separation is

1:16:32

and guys were constantly getting yelled at like you got you're across the board i'm like it's not like this is a [ __ ]

1:16:38

bugs bunny cartoon when you have this big dotted line telling us where one country ends and the other one begins

1:16:44

like how do we know that we're constantly getting yelled at get the [ __ ] back over here you're in pakistan huh don't looks the same to me

1:16:52

trust me when you're in new york and you go to jersey you know you're in [ __ ] jersey well i mean it's it's like the stories

1:16:58

you told me were like like the dudes you [ __ ] they're like are you inside me you're sure i'm like it's good for my side and with

1:17:05

that ha with that ladies and gentlemen july 14 2022

1:17:11

rocky brain podcast he's dominic leon and he is charlie fuse and we will see you next time take

1:17:21

[Music]

1:17:30

[Music]

1:17:47

you