Life Update! Unrealistic Expectations and Tapping into Needle Moving Exercises

I get real and RAW in this episode of 'From Now to Next" and I kick it off with a life update!  

Why?  Because it isn't always rainbows and butterflies and sunshine.  

Because I too - have STICKY FLOORS.

In this episode I dive deep into my personal struggles and triumphs, and I shed some light on:

🌟 My journey with unrealistic expectations and how they impact my life and work.

💡 Insights into balancing passion with action, and why passion alone isn't enough.

🚀 Tips for moving the needle in your career, relationships, and self-growth.

📘 Updates on my upcoming book, 'Glass Ceilings and Sticky Floors,' and the lessons learned from publishing delays.

👥 Exclusive details about her new group coaching offer and how it empowers women.

🧘‍♀️ The 'SNAP' method – my personal strategy for overcoming challenges and shifting focus.

Tune in for an episode that promises not only to inspire but also to provide practical strategies for anyone looking to level up in life and career!

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Transcript

0:00

Oh friend. I am so thankful. You're here today. This is going to be a new kind of episode for me. So I'm a little nervous about it, but bear with me because I'm going to share more into my life than I normally happen. And I want to just give you all a life update on all of the things. And then I also want to share a bit of where I'm stuck with my own sticky floors. Right. We all have them. And for me. Lately. It has been these unrealistic expectations that I have and putting in way too much time and energy into things that don't matter and things that are not moving the needles that I want to move. Cause here's the thing. I know a lot of people look at me and they see how passionate I am about growth and about gender equity and bringing more women into positions of power. And a lot of people say to me how they think it is so amazing about my passion and how lucky I am to have this passion. But here's the thing. This passion that I have. Yes, it's real, but it does not always burn bright y'all and really the thing that helps you in the longterm that helps you win it's action. It's tapping into exercises that move the needle in whatever you are doing, whether that is starting your own business, working to steady your marriage or landing that next promotion. Passion is not going to get you there. Busy-ness will not get you there. Even consistency. If you're focusing on the wrong things will not get you there. You are listening to the podcast from now to next the podcast and empowers women to get seen, get heard, and get promoted. I'm your host, Erica Rooney, and I've made it my mission to help you break free from the sticky floors. Those limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to bust through the glass ceiling. I'm obsessed with all things, growth and abundance. And I'm here to talk you through the tried and true secrets to get you to level up your career and your life. We talk about the hard stuff here. Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear and burnout. So pull up a seat, pop it in ear, bud. And, uh, let's dive in. All right. Life update. We are going to start there. And I really had to sit down and write out some bullet points for this because I do have so much going on. So first of all, the kids are back in school after their three weeks off from break. Thank God I was coming to that point in motherhood, where I felt like one of these two kids was not going to survive. But we made it and we are back and they are going to school. So we're kind of back in that whole routine of waking up, going through the carpool and then coming home, homework, chores, all that stuff. Um, so that's been great. It's been hard. Motherhood is always hard routine with small kids is always hard, but we're doing it. And we are tracking it through that school year. And then also, oh my gosh. I'll I am coming up on four years in my current executive role. So April fool's day. Is actually my first day that I started. And it's just crazy to imagine that I have been there for four years. And we've been remote this whole time. I started right before COVID hit. And so we were quite literally at that point where we thought we were only going to be remote for two weeks and then that just kept going. And I've been there ever since. So. It feels long and short. All at the same time. Uh, I've also got my book. Still going on and I'm going to tell you a little bit about it. If you haven't heard it's called glass ceilings and sticky floors, shatter, limiting beliefs, and toxic behaviors to reach unimaginable success. And I'm so super proud. I'm so passionate and I'm so thrilled about this project. I've shared it with y'all, I've put it on my socials. But here's where I'm a little bit sad. I thought it was going to be ready. In late February, early March. And I got the news that it's not going to be ready until November of this year. So y'all the disappointment on this one is real, and it's a lot of it's my fault for not really understanding the tree timelines. And then also we just had some circumstances that actually. You know, in order to produce the most amazing book and to produce a book at the quality level that I want to produce and that like my listeners and my readers deserve, it's going to cause a delay and I get it. I know why it needs to happen, but you know, I'm still disappointed. I'm still a little bummed about that, but I wanted to share that with you. Um, and just let you know, number one so you can know when to expect it, but then number two, let you know what's going on. And then also I wanted to tell you that I am trying to take that news and pivot it to the positive, which is I now have more time to market. I have more time to grow my email list. I have more time to talk about it. Y'all get the drill right. But I'm still, you know, a bit sad and a bit disappointed and you know, what am I going to do about it? The timeline is pushed. I want a great product. So I'm going to roll with it. And then what else? Y'all oh, I know. I want to talk about working with me because I am excited that I am finally ready to talk about my group coaching offer. And this is very similar to my one-on-one coaching, but it's more structured with set topics, but then you also have this small group aspect where you can bring your troubles to the group. We talk about them, we solve them and then you go out and rock your day. So I love this group coaching aspect because you still get the interaction and the focused attention like you would with me in a one-on-one, but you're sharing it with the group and these women that I've had in my group, coaching sessions that I work with. Y'all they are power house women. They are doing big shit. So they bring to the table the most amazing perspectives and thoughts and experiences. And then of course, a group coaching price is a bit friendlier than your one-on-one coaching. So just wanted to tell you that is out and ready to roll. If you're interested, let me know if we still got a spot available. I do intentionally keep these groups small for intimacy and confidentiality reasons, but if you're interested, I'd love to see if you can fit in. Just, you know, hit me up on Instagram or email me at Erica. At, from now to next.org. So, yep. That's dot org, Erica, your, I C a. At, from now to next.org. But with all of that going on y'all I have been stuck in my own damn sticky floors. And I'm gonna start with the stickiest of them. All which is unrealistic expectations. Y'all I am the queen of setting unrealistic expectations on myself. This sticky floor is one that just runs so deep with me. And it is something that I have always struggled with. I always have high expectations. I want to do the most. I want to be amazing. I want to be perfect and y'all know. I know that's not realistic. So, where am I struggling? Well, number one, the book, you know, I had the expectations about the book and the timeline and how easy and seamless and perfect this process would be. And, you know, this is not that. So don't get me wrong. It's been a great learning experience so far, but it has been far more challenging. Then I think I ever imagined. And then also unrealistic expectations and my day job. Y'all know this. Cause if you are listening to this podcast, you are also a bad-ass with big dreams. And sometimes when you're not making the progress in your day job, The way you thought you would, and you hit these roadblocks and you get frustrated, right. You get really, really frustrated. And, you know, I'm going through that right now. But then also these dang kids in mind. Now, if I can just go out on a limb. And tell you they're not acting right. Y'all. I'm in that phase where if I do not come down on them hard right now, when they are teenagers, it's really going to bite me in the ass. So we've just been going through a lot of consequences and repercussions. And it doesn't make me feel great as a mom kind of makes me wonder if I'm even doing this mom thing. Right. And you know, also if you're in the land of consequences and repercussions, like me y'all know that you are also experiencing the consequences and repercussions. If your kids grounded, you're grounded. If they're miserable, chances are so are you. But then more unrealistic expectations. This podcast, my business. I want things to happen at a certain pace. And I've been allowing my unrealistic expectations to push in far too much. So what do I mean by that? I'm a throat and easy one. Social media following and engagement. It's like, I've got this expectation that I should have X amount of followers and X amount of likes per Instagram, real, and I I'm not there. It just doesn't happen. I've also hit a bit of a writer's block, a creativity block. And that's been hard for me to show up daily to do fresh positive content. And that kind of pulls me deeper into my sticky floor. But I share all of this with you. All of my stickiness, all of the ugliness with you. Because there's power in sharing it and y'all know my word of the year is community. So this is me leaning on my community for support. And I'm going to tell you right now, as I'm going through that list with you, like, I am already feeling. The uncomfortableness, because I don't like to share my failures who does right. But I need to share them with you. Number one, to let you know. You're not alone. I want to show you my less than perfect side of life. Because when I do that, it opens me up to receive your love and your support. And that means the world to me. And it keeps me going, it keeps me doing what I'm doing, showing up, even when it's hard. And now what I will tell you. Is when I really start to feel the overwhelm, which I've been feeling a lot. This week, last week. It means I'm stuck. Now I have a four-part framework that I use whenever I am feeling this way and I call it my snap method and it is all about snapping out of the sticky floors. I'm going to go over this in detail in February. I have an amazing four part series planned out for you. But it is all about stopping and taking note of the physical sensations, emotions and feelings in your body. So that overwhelm that I'm feeling right now. It leads to the anxiety, which makes me feel more tired than normal. I don't want to work out. I feel less creative. I find myself feeling the need to take like these big, deep breaths throughout the day, just to center myself. And I don't normally feel that. So that's the S the end is for naming that sticky for sometimes it's perfectionism for me, sometimes it's fear this time I was able to stop and recognize the physical sensations and then name that I was stuck in the sticky floor of unrealistic expectations. Now that puts me in the, a step of the. The snap method, which is to ask an answer some really deep questions to help me pivot, which is the P and snap. Now here's the deal. It is all a process, right? These sticky floors. They are always there just under the surface. But you have to know how to work through them and you have to know how to do the work. And so with the P the pivot and these unrealistic expectations of mine. I am pivoting from this. Oh, I have so much to do. I have no way to do it. Two. Okay, Erica, I have a lot to do, but it's okay if I don't get it all done today. And then I ask myself, what can I do today? To help me move the needle. And that is the second thing I wanted to talk to you about, which is the needle moving exercises, because y'all, I can spend hours reading self-help books or working on my social media or just scrolling social media, looking for ideas. But none of those activities actually move the needle in my life or in my business, you know, it moves the needle. Putting together, my group coaching offer and putting it out there to the world. Solidifying my P C T for my keynotes y'all if you're in the keynote world, do you know what that means? But it means for the problem. The credibility and the transformation statement. Right. And that needs to be T I G H T tight. Okay. Another needle mover finalizing my digital course. But you know what I've not been doing? Any of those things to move the needle. So you see that sticky floor of mine. And my actions of like, not doing the work, it's almost like this chicken and egg thing, which came first, my sticky floor or doing the things that don't move the needle. Now, look, I honestly don't care. I just know that I need to break out of this cycle and snap out of this sticky floor. And in order to do that, I have to pivot my mind. I have to focus on what I can do each day to move the needle. And then here's the hard part I need to do that work. Y'all. Busy-ness if we're not careful, we're going to get caught up in that hustle culture mentality of working nonstop and thinking that it's me, me, me. I'm the only one that can do these things. I'm the one that has to go to all the meetings and answer all the phones and reply to all the emails and y'all know that's not helpful. You know, what is helpful? Hustling on needle, moving activities. Getting out there and doing the things that maybe you don't want to do because they're hard. Because they take effort because they might be a little scary and you don't even know if it's going to work, but guess what if it does. It moves the needle. So what exactly is a needle moving activity? Well, there's different needle, moving activities for everyone at all phases in all stages. But I want to give you some solid examples. If you're trying to move the needle in your business, reaching out to your networks to see if they know anyone looking for whatever product or service you're selling. Asking people for testimonials. So you can start gathering those to share on your social media and your websites, or solidifying a new offer and getting the sales page up and running. Those are needle moving activities. If you need to move the needle in your marriage. What works is calling a babysitter, getting a reservation at a nice dinner and spending quality time with your partner. You know what doesn't work. Spending your time on household activities like unloading the dishwasher and yes, girl, that does need to be done, but it doesn't need to be done right now. And if you're trying to move the needle in your corporate life. Things like signing up for a new certification. Talking to your boss about a career path and networking with someone who works for a company you love. Those are needle movers. Getting your email inbox to zero girl. That's not only not a needle mover. It's impossible. So I want to leave you today with a few things. First. If you ever think that somebody has it all down, pat, they got their whole life together. They are picture perfect. I want you to go back and I want you to listen to the first part of this episode, where I am spilling my guts to you about all the places where I feel like I'm falling apart. Because the truth is we are all doing the best we can. And then I want you to sit down and I want you to think of some of the needle moving exercises that you can start today. Is it blocking your calendar every day at 5:00 PM. So you don't work late. Amazing. Is it RSVP? Yes. To a local networking event because you want to expand your connections. Perfect. Or maybe it is just sitting down and trying to figure out something that, you know, you need to know how to do it. But you just don't want to do it. Y'all I got a really good story about a huge time-waster that I allowed to creep into my life, but you're going to have to head to my Instagram to see what that mess was. Sit down and write out what those needle moving exercises are that you've been avoiding. And then I want you to block your calendar so that you can do them. Yep. It is a super small and easy step. You probably already know what you're avoiding. I know I do, but block the time. I don't care how far into the future. You have to go to find that time, just do it. And then when that time comes, no matter how uncomfortable you may feel. No matter how much anxiety or dread you are experiencing. Just do it. Y'all were going to borrow from Nike. Just do it, do the thing you need to do to move the needle. I promise you. When you do, you will feel so much better. So thank you for being a part of my community, my sounding board today, my listeners. Thank you for hearing all about my sticky floors. And I'm going to thank you for holding me accountable to, to break free from these unrealistic expectations that I am finding myself stuck in right now. And focusing on those needle, moving exercises, you really are the bees knees. So have a good one. And I don't want you to forget, stop putting a ceiling on what is possible and start breaking through them.