Finding Time For Yourself: Balancing Work and Life

Have you ever felt like you're running a never-ending race, trying to balance your career, family, and personal needs, only to find that 'me time' is a luxury you just can't afford? 

You're not alone.

In this episode we dive into:

• The Research backed by Forbes, the PEW Research Center, and the Amaerican Psychological Association on the complexities that come with being a working parent.
• The REAL reason you are NOT putting yourself first.
• Tangible strategies to start TODAY to make time for yourself - no matter how busy you are.
• My 4P Strategy for time management
• My Challenge for YOU!

#workingmom #workingparent #workingwomen #womenwhowork

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Transcript

0:00

Have you ever felt like you're running a never ending race, trying to balance your career, your family? And your personal needs only to find out that your me time is a luxury that you just can't afford. I'm here to tell you, you are not alone as a working woman, especially if you are a working mom. We are juggling multiple hats, professional parent partner, friend, and so many more. We're talking chef chauffeur, therapist, mediator, housekeeper party planner, family organizer, CEO of the family accountant dog Walker. Do I need to say more? Now I'm going to drop a cold, hard fact here, but if you're a working mom, it's not going to surprise you. A study by the pew research center shows that the working mothers are three times as likely as fathers to say that being a parent has made it harder to advance in their job. Are you shocked? I told you that you wouldn't be this constant juggling act that we are all trying to keep up. It leaves us very little time for ourselves. If any, at all. And this little time. Or none leads to anxiety. It leads to burnout and it leads to distress. And you know that we do not have any time for that. So today's topic is one that as a busy working mom, I have struggled to put myself first. I want to talk about this topic of personal time. Not just finding some time in the day, but making the time, keeping the time and putting yourself first for once. Yes. You are listening to the podcast from now to next, the podcast that empowers women to get seen, get heard and get promoted. I'm your host, Eric Rooney, and I've made it my mission to help you break free from the sticky floors. Those limiting beliefs and toxic behaviors to bust through the glass ceiling. I'm obsessed with all things, growth and abundance. And I'm here to talk you through the tried and true secrets to get you to level up your career and your life. We talk about the hard stuff here. Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, fear and burnout. So pull up a seat. Popping into your bed and let's dive in. Let's kick this off by talking about why personal time is so important, and I'm going to hit you with some more research. The American psychological association has research that highlights how personal time plays a crucial role with our overall wellbeing, reducing stress and improving our mental health. All the things that we, that you and me are probably always searching for. It has taken me years to learn how to prioritize myself first. Now of course you have heard all about the airplane analogy, right? Put your oxygen mask on first. Then you put it on other people. But when you have these needed little newborns at home, putting yourself first, when you have a baby screaming in your ear, it's just not feasible. You think it's going to be different, that it's going to change, that it's going to slow down or whatever you think is going to do after the newborn phase. And y'all, I'm a realist. And if you ask me, does it slow down? Well, yes and no. Yes, my five and eight year old can use their words and talk to me about what's going on. They can tell me if they're upset, if they need help. You know, they have more emotional regulation, but guess what? They still have the emotional regulation of a five and eight year old, which involves the interference for mom. And when they get older, I am sure that my days will be filled with the teenage drama and totally different worries. I won't be worried about them waking me up in the middle of the night and me not getting any sleep. But I also might not be sleeping because they might not be home and they'll be out at a party and I will be super worried if they're going to be making good decisions or if they're going to get home. Okay. The truth is that even if your kids are out of the house, They're done. They'd graduated high school, college. They got a job. If you have spent your entire motherhood. Catering to them. And putting everyone else's needs first, you will find things to do in the day before you actually stop and take care of yourself. But y'all what we are talking about today. This is the real self-care, but it goes deeper than making time for facials and pedicures in green juice. This concept of putting everyone else first before you, this is a sticky floor. And for as long as I can remember, I always did what everyone else wanted to do. Now, my mom is probably listening right now is probably screaming into her phone. Like. Pants on fire. But what I mean by that is if I had a boyfriend that wanted to go to the movies, when I really wanted to stay in and chill, I'd go to the movies. I was constantly putting the wants, needs and desires of others in front of my own. And when you become a mom, you're now putting those wants needs and desires of your entire family in front of your own. You may wake up one day and realize you haven't done one dang thing for yourself in years. And girl that has got to change today. First, I want you to prioritize self care, and I want you to do that by scheduling something, schedule anything, maybe it's a walk-in pie in the park. Maybe it's a facial, but what gets scheduled gets planned. And if this is an area you struggle with making time for yourself, then you need to get it scheduled until you make it habit. So I want you to open up that Google calendar or whatever you plan with, and I want you to block it off. Even the busiest of people can find 15 minutes to sit down and just take deep breaths alone by themselves. Now, the second thing I want you to do is set up some steel trap boundaries. Y'all around, whatever that was that you scheduled, you have to learn to say no. So that when that meeting comes up during the same time you blocked your calendar for a facial. Guess what you're going to do? You're going to say no. Okay. It's not a full on note. We do have to work here. We do have to show up and we have bosses and teams and people that we report to. So we got to keep our jobs, but you can say no to that time slot. When you request to move a meeting because you already have something going on or it's going to make your schedule too tight, or it's going to force you to skip your lunch. You don't need to say yes to that time slot. You requesting that meeting time change. It's not going to throw anyone for a crazy ass loop. You are allowed to live your life. You are allowed to take breaks. You are allowed to do things for you. But it is up to you to set those boundaries. Now, this is common knowledge, but at Forbes, yes, the Forbes suggests it in an article, the importance of clear boundaries. Then you know that you need to listen up and you need to start putting those boundaries in place. Let's talk about time management, time management is the biggest and probably my most favorite strategy that I'm about to hit you with today. Now, if you haven't seen my Instagram real on my four P exercise. You need to go watch it. It is less than a minute long, but that one minute will change your life. This is all about managing your time in a way that is meaningful and in a way that makes sense, the four PS are all about what you can perform. What you should pass off to someone else, what you should postpone and what you should purge mean. Don't do it anymore. Get it off your to-do list. There's more that goes into this, but just head over to the Instagram, watch that one reel, and I promise you, it's going to change your life. Y'all time is the most precious non renewable resource that we truly have. So we have to make the most of it. And if you need help with managing your time, give me a holler. I am a time expert queen, so I will help you put those boundaries up and manage your time more efficiently. But you've got to have solid solid skills when it comes to time management. But the last strategy. That I have for making time for yourself is truly to seek support. I know it sounds like a no brainer y'all but us high achieving women, you know what we'd like to do? We like to do everything ourselves. We like to have full control. We don't like to ask for help. And when I first started trying to find time for myself. I did what every other people pleaser would do. I tried to find a time that wouldn't inconvenience anyone else. Sounds like a legit strategy, right? And wrong. Let me tell you how that played out. I'm a morning person always have been, always will be when I like so much to the point that when I was in college, I used to have to wake up early as all get out like 3:00 AM to cram for exams in college. All of those people who could get up all night and stay up for hours and hours, like. I stay up until 3:00 AM. I couldn't do that. I am worthless honestly, after 4:00 PM, so I could never stay up late. But if I went to bed at nine, I could get up at 3:00 AM. Cram study my ass off and pass. So when I got to my working mom era, all of those things I wanted to do for myself, I figured I could still not inconvenience people. I could still people please. I could still put everybody else first. I just had to get up earlier. So here I am waking up exhausting myself to find some me-time. And this is exactly y'all how self-care can become harmful. I was sacrificing sleep to work out. I was missing out on hours of that restorative time that I desperately needed because let's face it. I was tired and exhausted working mom here. To do all of the checklist, things that you are supposed to be doing to take care of yourself. But this is why seeking support is key because my husband can't read my mind. I still forget that from time to time you out, but really he cannot, it is not a skill. He possesses, he does a horrible job at it, but when you seek the support you need. You just might be amazed at how many people step up to make sure that you find the balance and that you do make time for yourself. Now, just the other day, I asked my whole executive team to move a standing 4:30 PM meeting to earlier in the day because my kid's baseball season is about to kick up and I want to go to those games. The old Erica, who was the people pleaser. Erica never prioritizing herself type of girl would have taken every call from the car. Totally stressing out, trying to get a kid packed and ready for baseball while being present on my call. That is a recipe for stress and a recipe for disaster, and quite honestly, a recipe for a mom that is not super engaged and also an executive that is not super engaged. But when I asked my whole team, if I could move it. I did not have one. Objection, not one. Everybody was fine with that. I didn't even have to explain why. Now I knew that as a privilege that I have as a C level leader, and you can't always make those requests, that's just one example. When I was feeling super overwhelmed the other day, about the lack of time in my day. I talked to my partner, we brainstormed, how can we, you know, make this easier on me? How can we get more time in my day so that he can step up and I can step away. And you know what that stepping away. That allows me to step back in as a fully present, not irritated and ready to go parent. I am way more fun. When I have my me time, I am way more rested. I'm more present with my kids and my partner. I feel less anxious and more focused. I am less scatterbrained. I feel more like me. And I know how to show up, like the mom that I want to be and the partner that I want to be and the executive that I want to be. When I make that time. In my day. So to make a long story, very short, we all here know the amount of domestic work and caregiving that the working mom has on her plate. We know we do the most. But girl, if you are not going to prioritize yourself, you are not going to go far. You may not see this right away, but little by little, you will start to feel more stressed. You will start to feel less like you. And when you put yourself first. When you find the time for you. You will have less stress in your life. You will feel more accomplished. You will feel more capable and more able to juggle all the balls that we have in the air at all the times. If you just step away just for a moment, prioritize yourself. Your me time and protect it at all costs. Now I want to leave you with one challenge today. I want you to pick one, just one of those strategies and start on it today. Now my favorite is going to be the seeking support because that is your built-in accountability partner that is going to make sure that you have that time that you need, but you deserve. So make sure that you pick one. And y'all. I want to thank you for tuning in and listening to meet with me today. I am so honored that this might be part of your me time. Maybe you're out there listening, going on a walk or working out, but just remember it is time to stop putting a ceiling on what is possible and it's time to start breaking through them. And you can do that today. By making some time for yourself. Now, please, please, please. If you haven't already head over to wherever you're listening to your podcast and rate, review and subscribe to this podcast as every single comment like share. It truly helps us podcast and it helps in the land. And it helps it land in the hands of the woman that needs to hear it most. I'll see you next time.