Fitness, Food, Fun with Bior Guigni

Enlightening chat with the CEO of Beat the Street New England Wrestling and former All-American wrestler, Bior Guigni.   Bior talks about overcoming big odds and high pressure in her youth to leverage that challenging experience to building a remarkable wrestling program that takes into consideration all aspects of youth development and wellness.

Transcript

Andy: 0:00

Take two. Take two. Hey everybody, welcome to Fitness, food, and Fauna. Chat with Andy Mack. And today I am lucky and fortunate enough to be joined by the c e O of Beat the Streets New England wrestling, BJO Rigney. So bor. Hello, how are you today?

Bior: 0:19

Hi everyone. I am great. I'm really excited to be here. Like I said, we've known each other for a really long time and I've been a fan of the show, so I'm excited to get.

Andy: 0:29

Thank you very much. So, intro again, BJO about you at a high level for everyone to get a little bit familiar and then of course fill in a lot of blanks here and we wanna expand and really get to know you. But like you said, known you for a long time. I met you however many, it's probably over, it's over been over 20 years now at this point when I was your coach, assistant coach at nfa and you were one of the wrestl. Coming on to the team. So, on that note, what I know about you is that you were a wrestler. you started in high school, you performed at a, very high level. You became one of the best wrestlers in your weight class in the state. You went on to college and became an All American. And then from there, you've progressed into becoming the, the c e O that I mentioned of a wrestling organization, so all super impressive. And so I just want you to get a chance to talk about. other activities that I didn't mention that you probably were involved in and since we're on take two, you know, I, I did actually remember that you were in soccer at, at some point. So I want you to go ahead and fill in on, how did you get into fitness and what other things did you do that I didn't mention? Yeah.

Bior: 1:35

So I got involved in fitness because I come. Really large family, immigrant family. We moved from dominican Republic, and I was the oldest girl of 11 kids. And so any excuse to get outta the house I was in for it. And I found out pretty quickly that if you became good enough at something, people would advocate for you to participate. Cuz it was really hard to get Hardworking, multiple job having parents to let their caretaker go participate in activities unless someone was vouching for me. So I got involved pretty young you know, the arts and musics and things like that, but I really found a love and passion for sport that I grew up in a small town. Preston, Connecticut, and like I said, super small town. We were actually the 1% Hispanic in our town, and I think that was just my house when we looked at the census. And so they were like, oh, you're, you're tan. You must be good at soccer. And I was like, no, I'm terrible. From Dominican Republic, we love baseball, which I was also terrible at, but I made it a point to if I was going. Not be home. And I was gonna participate in something to be the best that I could be. And so I became proficient enough in soccer to play for a long time. I tried out for cheerleading. I didn't make it. I tried out again because I refused to be the mascot and I wanted a winter sport. And I did track In middle school. So then when I got to high school again soccer was a really big love cuz I made some great friends on the team and then winter sports came around and I was too short for basketball. I didn't wanna cheer anymore and I loved W W F so I heard over the speaker in the morning announcements that there was wrestling happening and like much kids today, it has not changed. I thought that I was signing up for like W W E wrestling. But I remember going down to the room, it was like the old gym at N F A and I look in the little window and all you see is a bunch of guys. Does not look like any of them. Were about to professionally wrestle. It's like one flat mat. And I just ran off from the meeting. I, I didn't go. But afterwards, I hid in the bathroom, I came back out it was coach sneaking at the time and I was like, yeah, I'm really interested in trying out for wrestling. He's like, oh great. We could use a team manager cuz you know, there was no girls on the team. And I was like, no, I, I really would like to learn more about wrestling. He is like, great score keeping And I was like, no, I want to wrestle. And he was like okay, here we go. So like you said, there, there weren't very many of us, I think across the nation, maybe 800 girls. Some states were a little bit more like advanced, like Texas or Hawaii and California had women's wrestling, but. the other states, especially in New England, there wasn't much going on. I think there was like one girl per state that was wrestling at the time, but I went and I loved it. It was the hardest thing I ever did. And Still continues to go to the hardest things I've ever done, but every day in that room was a day of learning and growing and shaping. And the, the guys were incredible and I don't think I would've stuck with it if it wasn't as challenging and if the, my teammates weren't my, the leadership weren't as amazing as they were, right? Because could go a lot of different ways. Being the only girl on a team and. even though it was never easy, I was really fortunate to have a team that understood, if you're in that room and you're putting in the time like everyone else, then you're just like everyone else. Not the case when we traveled so much, but definitely in that room. Yeah. When

Andy: 4:46

I think about this too, when I was thinking about. You know, who's the type of person that can become a c e O? And then when we think about on your history, and, like I was saying before, is that when you did it back at your time, it was a much different scene than it is today because of people like you that are making it a, a friendlier more common environment for girls to wrestle. But when you did it, it was you. 75 guys in the room and every time you went anywhere to wrestle, like our pre-conversation. you heard people making comments on it and say, oh, you gotta wrestle the girl. And even people in the stands, snickering making comments, and that's a lot of pressure and something that you overcame and you overcame in a really big way. Can you talk a little bit about what that type of experience is and maybe how you were trying to make that different for the young girls wrestling today?

Bior: 5:46

Yeah. I when I started wrestling, wanted to fit in so badly. You know, it, it's one girl, like you said, 75 guys. And if there was a joke I wanted to finish it. If there was a workout, I wanted to go twice as hard. Probably too hard sometimes, really prove yourself. But it was something that you know, nobody really knew what they were doing. back then, we didn't know. What the future looked like for me either, right? Number one thing is why, why would you wrestle? What is there for you in wrestling? All I get to say, I'm a C E O of wrestling organization now, so that's a great clap back there. But at the time I, you're just showing up because you love the sport. There was no idea that there was collegiate opportunities. I never thought I'd be an All-American, I didn't think I'd be doing it as a career. So it's for love sport. Walking into any space was challenging because first you come in and they don't know if you're there to wrestle and then they see you getting ready and then the comments start flying. Like, oh, you're gonna have to wrestle her or you're gonna have to wrestle this girl. And I actually started an entire program for Beat the Sweets. Megan called Wrestle her because of that, where it was A negative word almost, or, or combination of words. oh, you have to wrestle her. I don't wanna wrestle her. Or people could actually say they don't wanna wrestle you. And then as you start getting wins and doing well, it turns into oh, you're gonna have to wrestle her. you better be ready. And, and that was a great moment to see that transition from people dismissing you to being someone they actually have to consider a challenge or. Telling a boy that they might actually lose to this girl, you know, as a coach. So that was a wonderful thing for me, at least. Not so much for the guys that I beat,

Andy: 7:22

but yeah. And, I remember the transition watching you and you as a coach now. I think you'll get this perspective too when you see the people that you're coaching and how they're progressing, right? So I remember that When you were at the top of your game and, you were at the, at the varsity level and going into your senior year, like you started to have an intimidating presence, right? You would, ah, you're looking across the mat and before when it was, oh, we're gonna go, go wrestle this girl. We're gonna go get a a w. It's like, oh man, I gotta go wrestle that girl. And, and you're terrified. You're, you're terrified to lose, right? And you're intimidating people from across the mat with, your body language and everything else because it was confidence. and, and I think that was just a, a great thing to witness in that type of progress for somebody. So any thoughts you wanna expand upon relative to that?

Bior: 8:13

Yeah. And then that we mentioned earlier is that confidence. Came from people believing in you. Right. That that was a confidence that I didn't, I didn't have in myself. And I think one of the turning points was we were tournament in Montville and you had to go into a seating meeting and when you came back out and I, I don't know why you even were prompted to tell me this, but it was definitely a turning point for me where you were like, yeah, it's, they didn't wanna see you. They, but I said, fine. Don't see her. she's gonna win this tournament. And you saying that for me. I'm gonna win this tournament. There was no other option for me than to win that tournament That was the drive that I think was a big turning point. When you see the, your teammates and the coaches and the adults even supporting that team. Right. Having that level of confidence in you, it's hard not to carry that with you onto the mat. And it made the losses cuz I was so afraid to lose because for me, losing wasn't just losing that match. It was losing everything. It was mm-hmm. Well that's why girls shouldn't wrestle. Right. It was, you know, you're not working hard enough or for me it was even losing the opportunity to wrestle. Cause my parents. Weren't really thrilled that like I was, I was doing this, I was the first wrestler in my family. Nobody knew what to expect. My first home match I lost a under 30 seconds and I was the only match my mom ever watched. And I could hear her screaming, oh my God, you're killing her, you know, off the corner. And I was like, oh, I really, she doesn't come back to these, you know? So it was it. That's what changed. It was the first time where I did something that challenging and that hard, and there was an entire community of supporters and whether you won or lost, they still looked at you as a good wrestler. And that was the confidence that I carry with me today is like if you build a good community and you have the right people in place, you're gonna have those losses, but you're gonna get back up and you're gonna go pursue whatever it is you wanna do, and knowing that those people trust and believe in you, and that brings trust and belief in yourself. Yeah,

Andy: 10:05

the pressure that's to listen to you talk about it like. Is pretty eye-opening, right? The amount of pressure that you were under, it wasn't just a win or Lowe's for anyone else that was competing. It was all of those things, right? It was, oh, this justifies why she shouldn't be out there. Or, you know, even your parents wanting to pull you off the mat. And, I mentioned how it was like a different environment for you back when you were doing it then what you're helping develop for people today. But in addition to that, one of the things that you mentioned, and this is a lot of why I think I'm impressed with what you've done and your perseverance is because you said yourself, you were actually raising the rest of your family, your siblings, you were taking that responsibility on as a young teenage girl. Can you talk a little bit about what that was like in your life and how that's helped shape you? Yeah,

Bior: 10:59

it's a, it. I don't wanna say kind of standard immigrant story, but it was something where my family, you know, my parents moved here from Dr. Me and my brother went back and forth for, for quite some time. So we weren't really with our parents at a very young age, but then when we all settled, my parents were working Multiple jobs, they were working really odd hours and at a very young age, I was left to really care for a lot of young, a lot of kids, a lot of young people. And that meant making sure they were fed, making sure that they were safe, making sure that they, the house was clean, that they were doing their homework. As I got older, there was actually times while I was wrestling that I was working as well to help. Have lunch money for the kids to go to school. So I'd go to wrestling practice and I'd go to work afterwards and then I'd have to go cut weight and so all that extra responsibility for me, what that meant was option. There was no feeling, was not an option. There was no turning back. I had to really double down on anything and everything because. I knew that there was just so many people relying on me succeeding. So if success meant I got to college, or if I was able to obtain a job, or if I was able to do something positive where my family could be proud, right? Those were all things that, that were really important. So that's something I carry with me all the time. And like I said, the number one question was where is wrestling ever gonna get you? And I was fortunate enough to go to college to wrestle at the time. I went, I was on Men Low's inaugural team. I. Yeah, men and women's team. So that was pretty impressive. And then when they said that there was gonna be women's wrestling in the Olympics, cause we didn't know that was an option as well. Then, I was a training partner and Randy Miller, she got a bronze medal in in the Olympics and I was like, she used to beat me up That was my training partner. So you have that pride. Any job that I did, same thing. It was like I went into it with that non non-failure mentality and if you did lose or if you did, you know, have any sort of obstacles in the way, you just got back up and dusted yourself off and got into round two and just went back at it.

Andy: 13:09

You know, sometimes when you hear success stories, I, at least me anyways, when I'm, when I'm thinking about them and you say, oh, how did this person get here, from point A to point B and, be famous or, be the c e o of a wrestling organization and you listen to the story that you just told and you say, at the time, that was really tough, difficult situation to be in. If you get to rewind the clock and look backwards, you can say it was kind of serendipitous in a little way, that having that type of experience and responsibility with, with youth. Right. And, and obviously this is your family, but putting yourself in that type of situation, you, you've been kind of grooming to this role that you have now since you were a teenager.

Bior: 13:58

Yeah. But the funny thing is, is I think this comes with being a, a woman as well, is you don't think of it that way. It's just like, this is what I have to do. This is my responsibility. These are the people that are dependent on me. And for the longest time I was like, well, I'd be a great number two. You know, I'd be a great like assistant coach or I'd be a great ops manager. I'd be a great, like, I'm a supportive role because that's what I felt like growing up. I was a supportive role to my parents, but it wasn't till. The last couple years when I was transitioning to my role and I had, again, a really great community around me that's like, no, you're not a supportive role. You are a supportive person. Mm-hmm. and you are taking care of a lot of people. But you can do that in a, in a leadership position at the highest level, and now you can actually impact systems and impact procedures and impact and entire mission. That's giving back to thousands of kids. And that to me was like, oh my goodness. you're right. I have been training for this my whole life. And so it sometimes it takes the right people to really point that out. And then, like I said, that belief in yourself to do it. So it's a constant struggle I think from day one, especially being a girl and then growing up into a young woman, like always having that, that doubt in. But there's that proof behind all your, work ethic and all the failures and all the people around you and surrounding yourself with good people that continue to push you and motivate you to do well.

Andy: 15:20

Yeah. When you know. When I was coaching, I would look back and one of the things I always said is just, it's hard work always pays off, right? And, maybe you use that messaging with, with your kids today, but when I look at your story, I see a lot of hard work, right? I see a lot of perseverance. And I think some of that also came, like you said, from your parents just working, working. You got a, a work ethic there, but it's also an experience that you had and developed that you just talked about. But that's how I think if you're given a message down to somebody and so people see things and they just want to, they want the end result. Right? How do you get. From point A to point B, there's a lot of time and effort and hard work that goes on in the middle to develop into something. You can't just, Hey, yeah, I could be the CEO too. Well, no, probably can't. Cause there's a lot of things you gotta learn, you know, so on and so forth. But I've always found that fa like a fascinating aspect of, of watching people's Lives, and their success stories from point A to point B and yours is really similar to that in my opinion. But I'll jump into our first segment here and talk about fitness and you know, our conversation before we got on, and we talked about this a little bit and it was really cool to hear you talk about the advancement and how you're looking at fitness today for the wrestlers and the stuff that we did back when I was wrestling and back when I, when you were wrestling, It was a lot of unhealthy things, and so you can talk a little bit about things that you're doing now in the wrestling world to help thing make things better and healthier.

Bior: 16:49

Yeah, there I laugh whenever I think of the stuff we used to do actually back in the day. But you know, you really were just kind of listening to what worked for somebody else and you're like, oh, that's gonna work for me. And it didn't what works for somebody else doesn't necessarily work for you. And so the biggest thing that I learned in my time, and we wented this earlier, was having that, that mindset when things just click. And I remember that for me, like I didn't realize that things were clicking until 20 years later because I wasn't at the right, at a growth mindset or at a place where I really understood how fitness and nutrition and still having fun while I was doing all of this was so important to my success. Right. So with, with the fitness side of it, it was, I hated working out. I did not enjoy it. To me, working out was my, I had to work out so I could perform, whether it was in wrestling. You know, I fought m m A for a while. I played on the national rugby team. So all these things for me when it came to fitness, fitness was not fun. Fitness was something I had to do. And then when I retired from all of that, Same thing. It was, I did not enjoy running Like, no, it was like a punishment to me. I did not enjoy going to the gym. There was nothing positive that I'd associated with having to work out my body for performance. And so it took a long time to make it fun and it started. Where it really transitioned for me was when I started working for Pizza Streets and I saw wrestling at a non-competitive level, and I saw the kids just really enjoying it and having a good time and integrating more games and more activities and more fun. And then you wanna participate, you wanna jump in as a coach and you wanna have fun too. And that really changed my mindset on And it, it's funny because I wasn't really coached this way, but I've seen other people get coached this way. And so I was like, oh yeah, you know, you have to be a hard coach. You have to be a tough coach. But that only works for some, it doesn't work for all. And I'm, working with a lot of kids. So it became. More of how can we make this fun, not just for the kids, but a little selfishly for myself, right? Cuz I didn't have a great relationship with, with fitness. And we started really focusing on the mindset. Like what are some things that get people engaged, you know, how do we bring them into the space? How do provide enrichment through that? How do we educate our kids and ourselves and how these activities or fitness actually leads to a ton of great benefits, right? Mentally, physically, socially, emotionally then empower you to like, use those tools to do whatever you want in life and then you involve into the next level. So fitness has, has come is 180 for me where I now enjoy, finding the fun in it and, and really. The play for those of you who are wrestling fans, this is something that They really talk about it at the collegiate level or Penn State. It's like we, we play, we have a lot of fun in our room and you get to explore and you get to really have these discoveries by just using your body in different ways. And so that's something that I, I really encourage. So now when someone's like, do you wanna try this? I'm like, yeah, I'll try it. I don't care. I'll try anything new. Doesn't mean I'm gonna stay to it but I'll do anything now just to give it a shot. I really enjoy now. Lifting, lifting has been really great. Mm-hmm. And then any sort of fun club activity or any sort of like wrestling games. So it's, it's definitely been a long learning experience, but when you make something fun and engaging and an activity versus a job, it, it's a lot better.

Andy: 20:20

Yeah. And one of my friends had had told me before that, she never really. Any stress in, in doing her job because she always just focused on the fun aspect of it, you know? And it's, if you can get into that mindset and it's a hard place to be, it changes everything. So I I loved everything you were talking about there, and all it made me think about was going back to, the wrestling days and coaching and, and even. When I ref for a second, because there wasn't, it wasn't fun, right? Like it, it was, when you get into the sport, even at a very young age, and you see the pressure parents put on very young kids to win. and they're, they're not out there playing because it's fun. They're, they're playing to compete and to win. And it's just a totally different environment. And I think if you could bring fun into it, you could probably end up seeing people achieve more than, than what they do in, in Wrestl. Happened to you, happened to me, happened to so many people that have done the sport. You burn out. Right? Because you've taken it to the limits. You've had the pressure from everywhere and around. You've seen elite people do things like win the state championship, win the New England Championship, and then they just stop because they just don't want to do it anymore, right in the middle of their high school career. But I also wanted to comment on your mindset. One of the things that I took out of a lot of the stuff that you've been saying is you have a really. Open, bold, I'll call it brave mindset, because everything you jumped into, you jumped into rugby, you jumped into wrestling, you jumped into no, I'm not a soccer player, but I'm gonna up Sure. I'll play it. You know, and in that, I find that really interesting and, and I wa just wondered if you had any thoughts on that. Mindset that you have about just jumping into stuff with, knowing nothing about it and be willing to do it. what that's like for you and could you loan some advice to people on that mindset?

Bior: 22:07

Yeah, it actually came from a It came from a place where, and I don't know if a lot of people experience this, but when you're first trying something new, people are excited for you to do it. They're like, oh, you're gonna come out for wrestling great. Or You're gonna come out for rugby. Let's go. And everything you do, that's good. People get excited about it. They're like, I can't believe you just got that. Or, I can't believe you hit that double, you know? And so that became a feeling for me. that was almost addictive. It was the source of joy, the learning, the people being excited for you. But what happens is at some point that excitement becomes an expectation, right? Where it's like, oh, come on, you usually get that. Or I've seen you hit better doubles. Or, you know, you know how to do that, right? And that for me was like that rollercoaster of, well, now this isn. Something that I'm doing well or I'm not enjoying or it's not fun. And so I've learned, and this is something that we bring into our organization as well, when you get to that, when that praise becomes expectation is how do you continue to praise through the expectations. Right. Hey, that was really great. I think we can do it again. Let's see if we can get it a little better this time. cuz I know you and I know you have the talent, or I know you have the skill to do it, let's go. Yeah. And cuz that was something for me that, that was big is. and why I was so willing to try new things because I really enjoyed the being new aspect of it. Yeah, the learning aspect of it, the people getting excited for you aspect of it. And that was something that really excited me about trying new things.

Andy: 23:35

So I have another question for you and I'd like to get your comments on this. And when I was coaching, I always thought it was important to tell you guys. What I thought was accurate, right? I didn't wanna say, go out there, go, you're gonna, you're gonna kill this person, right? Like, if I didn't really think that you were, if I thought it was gonna be a tough match for you, I would say it's gonna be a tough match. You gotta be really tough. So, with that encouragement, do you have any thoughts on balancing that out with, with expectation? Because I think if you give false, you know, oh, you're, and then you, it doesn't happen for you, right? So you go, oh, you're gonna crush this. Say you're, you're new at wrestling and you're gonna crush this guy, and he's the state champion, whatever it is, or, or she's the state champion or national champion, whatever. And you come off and you lose, and then you, it's has a, it flips everything over, right? It, it's not, ah, it's not what I expected. I thought I was told I was gonna crush this though. There's a balancer. What do you think about that?

Bior: 24:31

I think that what you mentioned is, is really accurate. it's, there's one thing to, I would. Not falsely pump someone up, but to just blanket statements of encouragement aren't really helpful for all. And so one thing we started doing was before our tournaments or competitions, is we would actually give our kids like a profile sheet and they would fill out how do you get pumped up for your matches? Some kids like silence. Some kids like music, some kids get really excited and chatty. do you want to know about your opponent? or not, right? Do you need positive words or do you need you know, what do you need for encouragement? And then afterwards, how do you decompress? Do you need immediate feedback? Do you need some time to decompress and come back? Or do you need something written? And so it was really cool to see cuz we're, we're here for them, right? We're here to coach our, our kids and the people in this space. So it's really interesting to. Each athlete's profile. And then we made the athletes read each other's profiles. So on the one hand you had one athlete who's like super chatty, really pumped up. it's probably annoying the most, but the team was like, no, she needs that before she competes. And then she knew that this person needed to be left alone. So I'm gonna avoid this person cuz they need that quiet time. And then as a coach, I know that if so-and-so's about to wrestle, then I need to go up there and be like, this is who you're wrestling, this is where they're coming from. Here's what I know they do well, here's what I know they don't Get after it. Stick to your basics. do what you do best or someone needs. Encouragement, whether it's blind encouragement or not, you're gonna out there and you're gonna crush it. Cuz you never know. They could be wrestling a state champ and you can catch them in something, or you just might be a terrible matchup for them, right? So you never know. And so that became something that was really valuable for us, is to understand that there are certain general things as coaches that we do that that helps. All right? Providing that technique, providing a safe space for them to train, being there on time, being there early, being an ear for them. But then the reality of it is we're there for the athletes. So there's certain things that each athlete needs and that's information we can get so that we can be better coaches for them.

Andy: 26:35

So I'm gonna, I'm gonna mix this up cause I normally go. Food and talk about, hey, what's food like in your life from like a fitness standpoint? But I just wanna jump right in and say, let's talk about your favorite foods and, fun things. And, you know, you've, you've coming from the Dominicans, so you've gotta have some favorite foods from there. And, and and now you've got your favorite foods in the US and you've been here for a very long time. So in general, you lived in Boston, you lived in Connecticut, you've got that New England flair to your thing. Talk to us a little about food. What are your vices? What are the things you can't stop for? You know, what do you break for

Bior: 27:06

Hands down. Pizza. Pizza. Aw man. I, yes. Pizza. And I think it starts in like those wrestling tournaments where there's no such thing as a bad pizza at a tournament. But after that, just this love of pizza has grown and. Everywhere I travel, I definitely try to enjoy pizza. So like we go to Chicago, they try the deep dish and I was like, oh, deep dish is good. You know, it's not as good as Connecticut pizza, but if you ever go to Detroit and this is a shout out to Detroit, their Detroit square pan. Pizzas was so good. Mm-hmm. I, I would fly back cause I went to NCAAs last year. I would fly back just for the pizza. Detroit was something that I was really pleasantly surprised when I went to visit. But I love pizza comfort. comfort food is huge. Dominican food is comfort for me, but I love, like stews. Like sancocho is something that whenever I go home I'm like, please, can you make me some sancocho? Or like, whenever I go visit And just any sort of, like any country's comfort food or any culture's comfort food, I'm down for. So it's stews or casseroles or anything like that, shepherd's pies, all of those things. Chicken pot pie. I love a chicken pot pie. Anything kind of along that realm of just salty, savory just, it doesn't have to be pretty, like the uglier, the better I will take it. So anything in the comfort realm is, is a source of joy for me.

Andy: 28:23

So couple things. One, I just learned a couple few months back that there is actually a Detroit style pizza and they kind of compete with Chicago style pizza, that area, they're close together, so they, they do it out. And I never knew that before. But I also say that you being a pizza lover, most people that I grew up in the east coast, in the, in this area where, you know, we grew up as they. Good pizza and when they go other places, they don't get it in those places. Yeah. The West coast, and I don't know if you know this, but Connecticut, actually it was a year or two ago, they did a voting what state has the best pizza? And everybody typically thinks it's New York. Right. New York's got the best pizza. Connecticut won the best pizza. And a lot of that's from the, the, the famous New Haven area Pizza Place. Yeah. Right. But that's spread all over Connecticut. I I feel that way too. I would go to New York expecting to like have something better than what I have in Connecticut. And, and it doesn't happen, right? Ah,

Bior: 29:14

no. Gimme a buttery, crispy crust. I don't like floppy pizza. You know, and I'm pretty simple. Like, you don't have to make it fancy for me to be happy. I'm down with the good cheese or pepperoni. Margarita bacon jalapeno. Is that there? I love the new, honey. I'm gonna talk about this all day. The, the honey sauce, the hot honey that they put on pizzas now. Ugh. Yes. Pizza all

Andy: 29:34

day. Yeah. The peppers. The peppers on the pizza is something I'm my new thing like recently that I've just like, doesn't matter what kind of pizza is like, you feel like, and also throw some of the, the hot peppers on there like the, the, the sini or almost like pickle, jalapenos, anything like that. It's like it adds that a little extra to it that, that I really love. One thing you talked about a little bit, Comfort Foods. And I wanna have you expand a little bit on that and maybe touch upon the value of comfort foods in your life a little bit. And then maybe also how that, do you talk anything about comfort foods for your wrestlers?

Bior: 30:08

Yeah. I think this is actually pretty big for us when it comes to our wrestlers. So one thing that. Love about comfort. Food is not just the food, but the experience of having comfort food. Oftentimes, if it's a comfort food, you're in a comfortable setting, you're in someone's home, you're with friends, you're with family, you're somewhere that's like you're happy place and you're gathering around to just really enjoy sharing a meal with each other. And I think that's something that, from not being able to eat for so long and growing up in a culture where there is really good food. Missing Thanksgivings and missing major meals during the holidays that, that for me. And we'd be like, what's your hobby? I'm like, eating Like, how is that, not like I love spending, what do you like to do when you go out? Like, eat with my friends. And that's a, that's a focal point of just things that we do. We love cooking, we love spending time with each other. for our wrestlers. One thing that was really important was understanding that we all have very diverse backgrounds and we come from very different places. So when a, when an athlete comes to me and they're like, Hey coach, you know, I'm really close to making weight. what do you guys do? I'm like, one, you definitely have to eat cuz you're gonna perform tomorrow, right? So I wanna make sure you go home and you get fed. What's, what's someone making free tonight? Or what are you making for dinner? What do you have at home? You know, we assume that people can just go out and buy all these things to live this nutritional lifestyle, but what do you have at home? So one of our, our kids was Ethiopian. He's like, well, my mom's making a stite. And I was like, great. Is it possible for her to take some of that lamb aside? and not put so much salt in it or put a lot less salt in it and have that with some of the greens versus having it with the potatoes that will normally go with it. And he was like, great. Absolutely. So you messaged me. Hey coach. I had dinner just so you know, maybe wait. I was That's awesome. Like that is awesome. And why is that? Because they actually. they ate, they were able to enjoy meal with their family. They were able to enjoy something that was comforting for them and they were able to perform the next day. But it was really kind of, again, that understanding of where you're coming from, what your body is used to, having it, to sustain it, and then making little tweaks so you can actually use that to enhance your performance. So in this case, it's like, all right, I know my family loves salt and salty foods. Let's go ahead and remove that or reduce it and replace it with something else. That would help so that you can eat and you can.

Andy: 32:18

So you just were telling us about comfort foods and then transition to talking about with your athletes, smart eating which is better education than we had when we were doing it. And cuz we basically did everything wrong. Right? Just starvation and a lot of other bad methods. But another thing I'm curious about, do you sometimes just tell your kids, Hey, eat some pizza. Eat cake, have a cupcake, have some ice cream. You know, you need to, moments of.

Bior: 32:45

Bliss. Yeah, so we we're a no miss meal program, and so it's really important to us that our, our kids are fed, for a lot of our kids, when they're going to school, that's their main food source. For me it was the meals that I didn't have to cook for myself. So it was, it was nice to, to have that, but we, it's better to have that moment of that cupcake or that pizza or, you know, I think my favorite thing right now is like those fruit gum. We always have those on hand or the oh my gosh, what are those? Little sandwiches? The Snackables or the crust bowls, the Uncrustables. Just any, any little thing because that one moment isn't gonna derail you. Yep. It's that constant constantly. What's the word I'm looking for here? Neglecting yourself or telling yourself? No, when it comes to that one moment that ends up becoming that binge eating or that, that shameful eating that ends up happening. So yeah, we will have a meat and we will go out for pizza afterwards, or we will, encourage if it's birthday, have that cupcake, have that slice of cake and most of the time just eat what fuels you and that's gonna look different for everybody else.

Andy: 33:55

So to close out food in this section, I'm gonna give you one more chance to say, gimme either, what's your number two to pizza? We know pizza's the king. it's gonna dominate everything else. Right? What's your number two and or what are you like a can I can not, no way I'm eating that. Can't.

Bior: 34:13

Oof. All right. I'll give you both. My number two is a really good burger. Mm. Because you can't really go wrong. You can build it however you want, but a really good burger with bacon, cheddar, jalapeno, that's my Gotta get those. However, yeah, the jalapenos, wherever I go. Some things that I just can't, I I just can't. It's like anything that's tripe. or gelatinous like that. Mm-hmm. I have a really hard time with with that. So I'm pretty open to anything else. But if it's like tray, which is, which is a shame cause

Andy: 34:44

does that include Jello as like Jello off the list? No, jello.

Bior: 34:48

Jellos. On the Jellos. Good. Jellos Good to go. Cause it's a sweet, and it, it's great. But another big thing too is I didn't really have American food till we moved to the United States. And even then, you're still eating at home. So it wasn't until maybe like middle school that I had like, Box craft mac and cheese. Mm-hmm. Or hamburger helper, forget about it. I will always go for a hamburger helper or even the, I try to make my own tuna helper. It's never the same. But yeah, the, the little things like that, which I thought were really cool, a canned soup or anything instant was never something I had till I one and

Andy: 35:23

milk. I love those type of things too. The comfort foods that you have from growing up that even though you know other things are actually better, like stuffing, I absolutely love just you're stuffing out of the box, right? Yeah. Like that is my favorite. And even though I know that this fancy stuffing that, that people are hand making and everything, and my wife likes to do that, and it's like, okay, this is great and whatever, but it just like, if you're asking me, gimme that box of stove top and I will, I could probably two full boxes of stove top by myself in a row. If, even if I wasn't thinking about, hey, I should probably shouldn't be heating this. No problem I can do it. Okay.

Bior: 36:01

It's like, I think it's just associated with great memories, you know. But yeah, I, any, any time, like you said, box stove top and the tuna helper, please help me find this. I cannot find tuna helper anywhere but I miss.

Andy: 36:14

All right, so let's take us, obviously food I think is a bit of fun for you, but let's talk about fun in your life today. Let's talk. What do you do for fun? Food.

Bior: 36:24

No, Yeah. I think self-care is my, my go-to fun these days. I mean, I love spending time with my friends. Really great connections. I think beats a really good conversation with someone, right? Where you can just talk about anything and everything. Love sports. Watching it, going to it, participating in it. I'm in Boston. It's a great sports town, but growing up in Connecticut, I'm split. I'm a Celtics Bruins girl, but I love my Yankees and my giants. So that's been an interesting thing here. But number, number one thing is I love sports and I love watching good coaching, and it doesn't matter what team that is. Hmm. So I go to a lot of games and then, like I said, just hanging out with friends and self-care, I made it a point to. Do simple things for myself that just bring me little bits of joy. So something as simple as getting a manicure every other week is something I'm pretty consistent about because it's like one little thing that makes me really happy. And so finding more things like that that just bring you these little Bits of joy, that's for yourself and not just requiring other people to, to be there for that too.

Andy: 37:27

Yeah. I had two questions for you on what you just said. One is on the self-care, are we talking about massages spot days, things like that? Or is and or is it just a day away for yourself to recuperate and get back to, to level?

Bior: 37:43

What I love about now is that there's a lot more. Conversations about mental health and taking time to really understand what gives you energy, what depletes your energy, and so I am. What people would say an extroverted introvert. Like I mentioned before, when people believe in me and wanna talk to me, I'm all in. I'm all for it. But I, I do enjoy a lot of my me time and so I've learned that sometimes I have to recharge my battery. That was a really great tool cuz going home to a really big family for Thanksgiving. There's a lot of people in this space. I find my social battery getting drained super quickly and then you get. That hanger or the, annoyed or all those things that isn't really fair to the people around you, cuz it's reactive behavior to you being drained. So it was, it was great. I think last Thanksgiving I was like, Hey, I'm gonna take 20. I just left. I went to my room, or the room I was staying in, scrolled through my phone for a couple minutes, did absolutely nothing, then came back recharged. So understanding that about me that I sometimes just need a timeout or a break Right. Was really great. And I encourage that with my team as well. So we all talk about what are things that we need? Like we won't do meetings before 10. Because we're just not, there's a lot of things we wanna get done or we keep meetings to only like so long. Or if some people can work longer together, we we'll respect that and honor that. So it's really understanding what my limits are. Hmm. And then taking time to to respect that for myself too. And facials. I love facials. So yeah, mans facials, time alone. And I'm about to pop into like letter Kenny just came out, so I'm gonna go watch the whole season afternoon, you know,

Andy: 39:25

so, it was, I'm really interesting to hear you say that you do this for your team, right? For your working team. And I was gonna ask if you did it also for the kids, you preach this to them. Hey guys, take your minute away. Maybe even notice when one of your kids is a little on edge and say, Hey, may, maybe you needed some time.

Bior: 39:43

Yeah, we, a lot of what we do at the organization is really teaching kids how to communicate. And so they come in, we do our check-ins, like justify how you're feeling. They'll do a quick journal, we have a theme for the day, a quote or something that's really impactful, but we wanna hear what it means to them, not what it means to us. And so we have them write that down. I ask those three questions I mentioned earlier about how many. Glasses of water, are they having, how many hours of sleep? and how many balanced meal items are you having? Just cuz you know what, how they're physically coming to a space, how they're mentally coming into a space. Mm-hmm. And then at the end we always recap with everyone goes around, what is something you've learned? Something you're proud of and a shout out to a teammate or someone else. And the learn and shout out ends up being really easy for them, but something they're proud of. Mm-hmm. Was something that you saw a lot of kids struggle with at first, but because it's ingrained in our culture It's really wonderful. So we travel a lot. We went to Chicago and at the end of this like really intense camp that they had, every day we'd have 40 kids, like go around each kid talk about those things and what's affecting them. And it was really wonderful for them to be able to articulate their needs and what they're going through and learn that their teammates were going through very similar things. And then watch them learn and support each other. Yeah. So we give them that space. We always have like a. Like I end up being the timeout person cuz. My body's done. So I have really great coaches, really awesome coaches that love me on the mat With the kids, I usually be working to the side or at least kind of narrating what I think we need to fill the gaps in. But we have a person, a buddy, and I usually end up being that buddy or a kid needs to step off a mat or recharge or sit down. There's no judgment, no questions asked except for, are you okay? Right. So you'll see kids bounce out for five, 10 minutes, maybe mentally recharged, jump back in, you'll see them get some water. So sometimes it's one kid, sometimes it's 15 of'em, you know? And when it gets to that point, you as a coach are like, all right, well then I think we need to figure out like a team break for today. So during that camp we decided, okay, let's go out to eat and really spend some time together and enjoy each other's company. And then we'll come back to this really intensive camp with 11 other beat the streets cities. So definitely it's. I've learned a lot from our own programming and I bring that back into my life and back into our team, and so it's kinda like practicing what you preach. And so our programs are mat time, which is mentoring, advocacy, and training. Wrestle her, which I mentioned, which is our girls leadership development. CITs as coaches in training, but that's actually more of that leadership development, entrepreneurship. Our kids are just as well versed in coaching as our coaches and often end up being team leaders and team captains. They do like 150 hours of training. Mm-hmm. And then wrestle back, which is my favorite. And we all know this, if you at a tournament, you get dropped outta con, you have to wrestle back. The best you can do is third. More matches than that person who's winning. Oftentimes emotional rollercoaster, sometimes it's easier to go on to and get out of there. But a wrestle bat kid, these are our kids with the highest level of trauma. They're coming out of juvenile system, long-term foster care and things like that. So we've provide extra support and connections with clinical case management and things like that. So all four programs are, are based on just that. It's what we need to know about ourselves and how we communicate to. Be the best version of ourselves and be able to pursue whatever we want in life. And wrestling is the activity that we choose to, to pursue

Andy: 43:02

this through. Yeah, this is, it's really impressive what you're doing. I gotta say, the more you talk, the more impressed I am with what you're doing. It's, it's not just wrestling. This is so much more than that. And I think it's probably what's attracting so many kids to this, because you're building a community and it's a community of wellness. You know, if I took it up to a higher level, it's not, It's not really a wrestling program. I think in a lot of ways this is a youth wellness program and I think it's awesome. And not to, not to just jump right outta that, but I still wanted to hit you with my part two of the question when you talked about what's fun for you as a sports fan and you said, you really love sports, so I wanna know, are you the passionate fan? Are you the one that's yelling, cheering, making a lot of noise? No, that's not you. No,

Bior: 43:50

I'm more of the I'm very observant. Here's the thing. This is, this is how I knew, I could never be a sports parent because if I get overly into it as even as a coach, when you get that emotional attachment, right, when you're really root for your kids, I cannot handle that emotional rollercoaster of watching them win and lose. In in a way that I don't even know how to describe it. It's like I emotionally get into it, and so for me to be able to really enjoy it, I have to watch sports through a coaching lens or through almost an administrative lens. I remember the first time I went to a Bruins game, I was like, well, I have to sit behind the home bench. No problem, let's make this happen. And I just remember like one, it's hard to see the game cuz you're literally sitting behind the athletes, so you're watching it on the screen. But I remember just being so intrigued by watching the coaches, how they were pulling on the back of the jerseys to change the line. Mm-hmm. And wanting to know everything about that. I'm like, how do they know who they're going for? It's the same person, when do you change the line? What's a good time to change the line? So it come from a very learning point because, you get really attached to your teams and watching them win is great. Watching them lose is tough. And so I always come at it from well, okay, what do we do really well? What could we do better? And I'm never one to Say oh, this person sucks. I'm like, do they? Because they're a professional athlete. Right. You know, and you know what it took, hopefully, you know what it took for them to get there. They're having a bad day, or maybe it's time for them to transition out. But I, I could never look at someone who's putting that much time, effort, energy into their livelihood. And then you find out how many games they play, baseball's what, 164 games or hundred 65 games? Right. I had no idea. Like hockey and basketball was 82 games, 41 home, 41 on the road. Then you really start looking at that schedule and you're like, that is intense. Mm-hmm. That is crazy. Yeah. I'm like, all right, well, I guess if I got paid that much, I'd do it too. But I really look at it from more of a, Like in awe of the fact that these athletes are able to do what they do, and then watching the coaches kind of orchestrate this. And so it's all just really impressive to me. I geek out on sports, you know.

Andy: 46:02

I love that you gave such a unique answer to that and I've, I've loved this whole conversation's been fun to come back and relive some things and have some eye-opening experiences on what's happening in, in today's world, but we've, we've come to the point where we're at the capstone, right? Just simply say, Hey, fitness, food, and fun. What do you think about those elements together, separately and just in general? What are your perspectives on them?

Bior: 46:30

I mean, I think that all three of those things together is, is the way of life, right? Like you. Need to take care of yourself. And that's where fitness and food comes in. And a lot of people have joy through fitness and food, you know, whether it's through games or cooking or, or enjoying that. And that's where the fun comes in. So I love that those three are like part of one because they really are what makes makes me in my happy place. And I, I love seeing those things come together for a lot of people and brings a lot of people together, hopefully for the good. Sometimes not so great, right? When you have like really intense fans or you have a really bad meal. Or things stop being fun. But putting'em together is, is a really great way to be.

Andy: 47:10

Well, in closing, I just want to say that thank you again for taking the time to join me. I really appreciate it. It was great reconnecting, and I think you're doing amazing things. I'm really impressed, and I, and I hope that your team is giving you reverse feedback on, you know, all the positive influences that you're, you're doing and then you're, you're superiors are, are, are doing that as well. And then at the same time, the kids are are giving that back to you. I, I used to say, When I was coaching that, The best thing that I ever got was thank yous from the kids. You know, again, the money wasn't much, but it, I didn't care about it. And the only thing that really mattered was when you said a thank you, especially when it was at the, someone was graduating and they came and showed you your appreciation. So I really hope you're getting that as well. And if there's anything you'd like to talk about with Beat the Streets right now, a plug or a connection, anything like, Feel free to

Bior: 48:05

let it go. Yeah. Well, two things. I, I hope you realize just how big of an influence you were in my life, right. In that team at N F A. So I think it's cool you get to see it kind of come full circle like a, as adults. So that was, that was huge for me. And it really does shape the way that I think I coach today and, and we are today. Like, just remembering, I never remember the bad. You always remember the positives, hopefully, right? You remember the positive and I think you just choose like a lot of things, but for Beat the Streets, it's, it's such a great organization. I'm, and I'm obviously not. Not not biased, but it's really amazing to be able to give back. And I'm excited that we are in Boston. We're in Providence. We're launching at Hartford. We plan on being in eight cities across New England. And, you know, it's a nationwide organization, so if you go to bts n e.org, you can definitely come see what we're doing, how we're doing it. If you're interested in having a Beat Streets in your area in New England and beyond, like you can definitely connect on the website and. We're happy to come have those conversations, but our goal is to give kids a fighting chance. We use wrestling and you know, hopefully help bring back a lot of those wrestling varsity programs as well while

Andy: 49:14

we're doing that. And one other thing, just, I wanna put this out there. We'll put links in everything for, for Beat the Streets and Soba. You mentioned I think before we came on, that you're hiring for somebody in Hartford at, at a great salary. So anybody that's interested in being able to do wrestling coaching as your profession, there's a great opportunity coming up in.

Bior: 49:40

Absolutely. And it's, it's incredible. We are fortunate enough to give people full-time opportunities at a very competitive wage that comes with benefits, 401ks, and actually say that you, you know, wrestling is your life. We're basically providing people with something that you don't typically get outside of like Collegiate or US teen wrestling, and you get to give back to young people, which is really. Yeah,

Andy: 50:03

it was, like I said, it would've been my dream to take something like this at, at the time that I was coaching, so I hope somebody, you find somebody great through this and one, one last time. Thank you very much.

Bior: 50:15

Thank you. It's been a pleasure being on.