Am I too old?

The question, "Am I too old to [fill in the blank]?" has very little to do with age. It has everything to do with our limiting beliefs. But these limiting beliefs, once identified and discredited, can be discarded.

Doors are open for my 12-week Become Unstoppable course until July 2, 2022. Head over to briellegoheen.com/course for more information. It is truly a transformational course - how cool would it be to enter the new school year in September with an upgraded mindset, a new set of skills that makes life feel easy, and an unshakable sense of purpose that comes from the clear vision you have for your life.

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Transcript

Welcome to A Little Bit Unstoppable. This podcast is for artists, creators, and change makers in any industry who have powerful ideas that might just change the world or at least a small piece of it. My name is Brielle Goheen and I am a clutter coach for creatives. I help people declutter their minds, declutter their physical and digital spaces, and most importantly, declutter their dreams and hack their habits so that the most important things become the easiest to do. I believe that creativity will change the world, so I want to equip you to release your creativity with power in a way that is effortless and sustainable. One of the small, simple ways that I do this is through my weekly newsletter - Unstoppable Bit by Bit. If you’d like to receive encouragement, inspiration, and an inside look into my life, head over to briellegoheen.com to sign up. Without further ado, let’s get started with today’s episode.

Welcome to episode 9! Before we get started, I want to mention that the doors open today to register for my 12-week course Become A Little Bit Unstoppable. In this course, I’ll be teaching some of the essential skills that they don’t teach you in school - how to declutter mental space, declutter your physical and digital spaces, declutter your dreams and goals, hack your own personal code to break bad habits and create new ones, how to set good goals, and prioritize your time so that the things that matter the most are also the easiest to do. Productivity isn’t about getting more done. It’s about getting more of the right things done. I’ll tell you more details about the course at the end of this episode, but if you just can’t wait until then, head over to briellegoheen.com/course to get all the juicy details.

The question that I want to talk about in today's episode is one that actually comes up quite a lot, although it’s phrased in a thousand different ways. It's this: am I too old? Am I too old to [fill in the blank]. Usually, though, it doesn’t come as a question, it comes as a statement: I’m too old to [fill in the blank]. I want you to actually take a second to fill in that blank. What’s that thing that you desire to do, but you talk yourself out of because of your age or maybe stage in life? I’m going to give you a second. You might have several things coming to mind, so just choose any one. Fill in the blank: I am too old to _________. Do you have it? Okay, now, the first thing I want you to do is really easy. Turn that statement around so that it becomes a question. Because we can and we should question whether or not it’s true. So the statement, “I’m too old for anyone to want to listen to me” would become, “Am I actually too old for anyone to want to listen to me?” Or “I’m too old to learn how to paint” becomes, “Am I actually too old to learn how to paint?” Or “I’m too old to start a new career” becomes “Am I actually too old to start a new career?” Whatever it is for you, step number 1 is to take your statement and turn it into a question. “Am I actually too old to do this?”

The reason this is a foundational first step is that, strangely enough, the statement, “I’m too old…” actually has almost nothing to do with age. I've heard this sentiment in various different wordings from the mouths of 20 year olds and 70 year olds, and every age in between. It’s actually a mindset issue. This idea that we become “too old” to pursue things that we love comes from a deep seated limiting belief that there is a perfect time to do something and that perfect time is in the past. There's a great Chinese proverb that says the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now. Of course we all wish that we could travel back in time knowing what we know now and live differently in light of that. But we can't. All we have is now and we are the age that we are. So of course for me, if I had the vision for my life when I was 20 that I have now, I would gain an extra 15 years on working toward that. And who wouldn't want that? I would love that! So, yah, the best time to begin working toward my vision would have been 15 years ago. I can see a ton of ways that it would’ve been easier to start back then. But the second best time is now, and now is what I have. And that's pretty good. In fact, there are a whole bunch of hidden advantages to where you are right now. You just have to develop the eyes to see them.

I think the only reason we ever think that we're too old is because with every new day we've never been this old before. You only think that you're too old because you've never been this old before. And so you can't see yourself at this age in retrospect. But imagine yourself 10 years from now looking back on the self of today and you would see how not "too old" you really were. You'd see how much you were capable of, how much that you could have done in the last 10 years to practice your art and make change in the world. You would see those 3,650 days in which you could have taken just one small step each day. And if you had done that you'd be in a completely different place. So you're not too old. You're just the oldest that you've been so far. 

My Grandad is 94. He is in great shape both physically and mentally. And, I really think one of the reasons he is in such great shape is because he is always working on some kind of project. He has put together dozens of spiral bound genealogy books as gifts to all of his children, grandchildren, and even his great grandchildren. My girls take them out and pour over the pictures for hours. My oldest, Lona, knows my family history way better than I do! But, can you imagine if he had decided at 70 years old that he was “too old” to learn how to use photo editing software? He wasn’t too old, and he learned it! But if he hadn’t had that growth mindset, he wouldn’t have made those books, and so many of the family stories would’ve been lost. His current 94 year old self would still be bemoaning the fact that this big dream of his to archive our family history never happened. But instead, at 94, he is more skilled with Photoshop than I am! This is the power of not seeing what you can’t do because of your age, but instead seeing the very next step that you can do and building on that with the time that you do have.

For the first decade or so of my career as a violinist, I was often the youngest person in the group that I was playing with. Not so much anymore, which is honestly really really nice. But I remember seeing amused half-smiles on the faces of my friends and colleagues who were a bit older me whenever I would talk about being too old to start something. But I actually did truly believe it when I was saying it. It sounds ridiculous, but I was twenty five or twenty six years old thinking that I had missed out on my one chance to invest time into developing the skills I needed to learn in order to make original music that I loved. Because that’s what your early 20s are for, and in my mind it was irresponsible to keep dumping time and money into something like that past the ripe old age of 25. And when I started noticing those looks on people's faces, that kind of, "Huh - isn't that, isn’t that cute?" kind of smiles - they, they really annoyed me, actually, at first because I felt discounted and I felt like I was being ridiculous. But then, I mean, they were so good hearted and I knew that they weren't coming from a bad place or anything like that. And yet, I really hated seeing myself through their eyes in those moments. And as I thought about it and processed it, as I do, trying to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, I realized that the knowing smiles were actually correct. Way more correct than I was because I was being ridiculous. Even though I couldn't completely see it, I couldn’t completely see why, I could sense that there is something that people knew from 10 years ahead or 20 years ahead that I just wasn't aware of, that I just couldn't see in myself. And from my perspective now, it seems just so obvious. But it honestly and truly wasn’t obvious to my younger self.

The thing is that we don't come at these limiting beliefs just from out of nowhere. They usually come from comments that we've heard or maybe cultural messages that we pick up on. We hear, for example, that age 75 and older is old age, and that means no one cares about what you have to say anymore. Or that 65 is retirement, and retirement means that you can no longer produce anything of value in culture. And 55 is just too close to retirement to take the risk of embarking on something new. It's really risky to start something at 55. And 45, well, you're officially over the hill and past your prime. And at 35, you've missed out on those essential years building the foundations that you should have done in your 20s. And in your 20s, you've officially lost the shimmering sheen of your youth, which is the most ridiculous thing in the world, and you're suddenly wise to ways of the world and should know better. And you should have studied something different in university but now you're locked in. You're locked into this career that is pure drudgery to you in your 20s. It's so hard to even say that out loud because when you’re that young, you pretty much have enough time to do anything and yet that’s when our limiting beliefs about age begin to restrict us from doing things that we love.

I remember a situation when I was told I was too old - it was actually kind of funny and completely insignificant in the scheme of things, but it’s the story that immediately comes to mind. But I was told when I was 22 that I was too old to wear black pants with a red stripe down the side. It’s so silly! But for some reason, I listened to that and I stopped wearing the pants even though I thought they were so fun, and really cute and they made me feel like myself. These silly pants actually made me really happy, but I believed now that I was too old, just because of some offhand comment, and really I should grow up and start wearing more professional clothes - just black pants, not black pants with a red stripe. And so I started wearing more professional clothes that were uncomfortable and not fun and that I didn't like. So my point is that we don't get these limiting beliefs from nowhere. We're bombarded by limiting messages all around us. But we don't have to listen to them and we don't have to keep these beliefs. You should see the pants I wear now!

There's an obscure little podcast called The Start Up School. It's a series of live recordings that were excerpted from a seminar that Seth Godin gave somewhere in the 2010s. I can't remember the exact year. But I was listening to it a few years ago and learning a lot just about entrepreneurship and the mindset that I needed to cultivate to be able to handle the path I was choosing. But one thing that he said just stopped me in my tracks. I remember exactly where I was. I was upstairs in the laundry room, folding laundry. And listening to podcasts is one of the things that I do while I fold laundry to make the task a little more enjoyable. And what Seth Godin said struck a chord in me that was so deep that it just brought a flood of tears of release and I sat down and I rewound it to listen to it again. And I rewound it and rewound it and rewound it again and again. Because I knew that I just needed to internalize this message. He said, "I'm not going to be ashamed of who I am or what I care about. This is what I believe in and I cared enough about it to put it into the world. If it's not for you, that's okay. But I will not accept your shame. I'm being vulnerable because I want to be better at this. But you may not give me your shame in return. I'm just not gonna take it. It's not for you to give me."

I think this sense of shame that Seth Godin talks about is deeply linked to our limiting beliefs about age and being "too old" for this or that. And even being "too young" for other things. If I listen to my limiting beliefs right now, it would tell me that I'm too old to be changing careers and too young to think that I have any business coaching other adults who have more life experience than I do. But these are limiting beliefs. Seth Godin says, "If you have something to say, then say it. And think well of yourself while you're learning how to say it better."

So don't be ashamed of how old you are. There's no point. You’re not too old for anything. You could put something into the world today and, God forbid, die in a freak accident tomorrow and never know what a difference that brave offering of your art has done for other people. Or you could be bold in starting something new that changes only a handful of people ever, but that handful of people is so changed by what you've offered them that each one of them changes another handful. And that's the compound effect at work. These are the small things that change the world. Or you might start something today and think that you have 20 good working years. But you might find that you actually had 50 good years and you didn't know it. And imagine what can be accomplished by small, cumulative steps in the direction of a defined vision over 20 years - that gets extended to 50 years. Everything. Everything can be changed with that kind of mindset.

A friend of mine from high school, named David, passed away suddenly in a car accident about 11 years ago. He was really young - he was still in university. It was such a tragedy, because he was honestly one of those people who just radiated goodness. He was one of those people that had so much to offer and he should have lived such a long time. But the last thing he had posted on Facebook was, “I want to run, jump, and spread life in this world.” And that one verbal offering to his community has spread so much life in the world. That gift has blessed so many people since his passing 11 years ago - people that knew and loved him then, and people that didn’t know him at all - like you! Now you’re hearing those words. Actually, his full Facebook quote bears repeating, because it’s full of cheekiness and humour. He wrote, “I want to run, jump, and spread life in this world. I don’t think that has anything to do with sitting at this desk all day.”

So I wanna leave you with this thought. You are not too old. Whatever it is that you want to start, start it today. Whatever it is that you want to say, say it. Whoever you want to be, be that person today. However you want to move through the world, move through this day in that way. I would love to be part of your journey as a coach, a guide, a friend and a fellow path seeker. You’re not too old, but you do need to get started.

Before I close up, I want to remind you that the doors are opening today for my course Become A Little Bit Unstoppable. Registration for this course is only open for one week until Sunday, July 2nd. I only open up enrolment for this course twice a year, and this is the last time I will be teaching this in 2022.The last time that I offered this course was in January and it was such a rich experience for all of us. It was so special to be in a dedicated learning container talking about really important foundational things and learning essential skills together. I think the best part for me was actually seeing people take real, bold actions toward the change that they wanted to see enacted in their lives. This course attracts a really special group of people and it's so wonderful to be around other artists that are really working toward defining a vision and executing on a vision that really matters to them. So if that sounds like you, then you’d be a perfect fit.

We go through a lot of content in the course. We talk about the foundational things like purpose, and defining what you uniquely have to offer the world through weekly exercises that are designed to help you define and refine your unique vision for what a life well lived means to you. I teach simple organizational and productivity systems to streamline your daily life, declutter your spaces, and keep them decluttered this time. But getting your physical spaces decluttered always has to start with organizing your mind. And, even though it seems like this nebulous thing, there are some really simple and effective ways to do this! We don't often talk about mind organization but the Cole's notes of this is that your mind is a terrible terrible office. It's not designed to hold information and so it's terrible at reminding you of things at the appropriate time. Like when you need batteries but you don't remember that you need them when you're at the store literally standing in the checkout aisle with batteries next you for like three minutes. You don't remember then, but you remember at night when you're trying to fall asleep and it wakes you up from that almost sleep state. Your mind is not designed for remembering and reminding. But your mind is designed for, and actually amazing at, creating things. So, it’s so good at integrating information from multiple sources, and synthesizing that information, and creating new thoughts, and new ideas, and creating new things. So in the course, I teach you how to externalize all the things that weigh down your mind into one simple trusted system so that your mind is actually free to do what it does best - which is to create! I also guide you through the process of digital decluttering, hacking your habits, and easily maintaining the organizational systems that you've set up. And, of course, we have lots of conversations about the mental stuff. Mental blocks like perfectionism and fear. 

There are video trainings, actionable PDF implementation guides, we have a weekly group coaching call with time for Q&A, and the option to attend an office hour for more personalized attention as you implement what you’re learning. So this is truly a transformative course and I know that you will be changed by it. You'll think differently, you'll live with less daily stress, and you'll be empowered to execute really powerfully on your most important creative visions. You’ll be able to live your unique version of what a life well lived means to you. Because productivity doesn’t just mean getting more done. It means getting more of the right things done by making the most important things the easiest to do.

So if you're ready for change, I can't say this strongly enough - do it now! I’m talking about it so much because I want you to be empowered with a defined vision and armed with the skillset you need to become A Little Bit Unstoppable. So head over to briellegoheen.com/course to join this summer cohort. I want to see you living in creative flow and artistic power.

I can't wait to see what you create. You're not too old, but you do need to get started.

It takes bravery and it takes courage to walk the artistic path, and we need to support and encourage each other as much as possible. If you found this episode helpful, consider sharing it with a friend or leaving a review in your favourite podcast listening app. And don’t forget to subscribe if you haven’t already so that you’ll be notified each time a new episode is up!

Remember: the worlds we imagine are the worlds we build. So, ambitious creators, imagine something beautiful and take the next step - no matter how small - toward building it.