Transforming Trauma: Sandra Jarvis' Journey and the Power of Trauma-Informed Coaching

This episode features a conversation between the host and Sandra Jarvis, a trauma recovery coach and a former participant in an advanced relationship trauma certification for coaches. Sandra shares her personal journey, which includes surviving a dysfunctional family, overcoming her husband’s pornography addiction, facing her own battle with cancer, her son's revelation of his sexuality, and a life-altering accident that resulted in a near amputation of her hand. Sandra's story highlights the pivotal moments that led her to seek healing, discover the power of choice, and eventually, to coaching. She discusses the significance of acknowledging and working through trauma, both cognitively and somatically, emphasizing the transformative impact of trauma-informed coaching on her life and her clients'. Sandra also mentions her passion for helping mothers sever the chains of generational trauma.

00:00 Welcome and Introduction
01:29 Discovering the Magic of Disneyland
04:26 Sandra's Journey to Becoming a Trauma Recovery Coach
05:49 The Transformative Power of Retreats
08:23 A Life-Changing Accident and the Path to Healing
15:57 Choosing Peace and the Power of Positive Attitude
30:29 The Impact of Advanced Relationship Trauma Certification
37:27 Launching a Podcast and Embracing Generational Healing

Connect with Sandra:

Website
Instagram
Sandra's book, Severed: A Memoir of Hope and Healing

Transcript

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[00:00:00] Lindsay: Hello, everyone. I am so happy to be here talking to you today with Sandra Jarvis. She's a current client in my advanced relationship trauma certification for coaches. She just went through and got finished and she has. Such a compelling, amazing story to share about just her personal life journey, how she found coaching, all the things.

And before we get into all of that, Sandra, maybe just tell us who you are and something fun about you that not a lot of people know. 

[00:01:15] Sandra: All right. 

[00:01:16] Lindsay: Well, thank you for 

[00:01:17] Sandra: having me today. I'm really excited. Something fun about me that not a lot of people know.

 That is a tough one. , most people know all kinds of things about me. Well, a lot of people know this, but I love Disney. I love Disneyland. I have lost track of how many times I've actually visited Disneyland, but it, it was over 200 at last count. So , I'm kind of a Disney addict.

Wow. This is just, it's just the happiest place on earth. I mean, it really just is, I just have to say. It wasn't when I had little kids, but now as an adult, it really is. 

[00:01:59] Lindsay: Okay. This is so funny that you're sharing this. Cause I was just on a call with the group of people going through my full coaching certification.

And we were having a conversation on like the power of play, the power of movement, and meditation. And, One of them was talking, brought up Disneyland. She's like, I swear, Disneyland is so good for bringing out your inner child. She's like this whole different version of my partner comes out when, when we go to Disneyland and she's like, it's so fun for me to see that too.

And, and I was thinking about all the times I had gone to, cause we used to live in LA and we had passes and I remember just being so amazed with how they did it all, like the way they handled everything. Don't do it perfectly, but it's pretty amazing for how many people go through that park, everything, the way it's organized and streamlined.

It's magical. It is. 

[00:02:45] Sandra: Yeah, they go out of their way to make it magical. So it's, you know, you really just get to go and leave everything behind. And. I love it. I don't know. I think it's a little weird. Even me. I even think it's a little weird, but I still love it. There you go. So, 

[00:03:03] Lindsay: Oh man, no, just let yourself love it.

I think it's awesome. And I think again, just alluding to this call I had with my clients today, the power of play, a reason that that can be so impactful is like having distractions from. Our regular life where we do just allow ourselves to play. It can be a space where we feel safe enough to let that playful part come through in a container that feels safe, but that can also kind of like transfer into.

Our lives as well. So if you just need someone to keep advocating for you to keep going to Disneyland, like just call me up. 

[00:03:38] Sandra: I'm going to remember that next time my husband has an objection, I'm going to be like, you need to have a call with Lindsay. 

[00:03:46] Lindsay: Yeah. So when's your next trip? Are you going soon? 

[00:03:49] Sandra: No, I don't have anything on the calendar right now.

It's been a while, honestly. It's been quite a while since we, we haven't been since the pandemic. We just have had a lot going on. We used to go, well, we moved to Washington state. We were in Arizona before. And so it was only four hours from us. And so we would just hop in the car and go, and we had your own passes, but living in Washington is, I mean, it's another whole joy all its own.

It makes Disneyland a little bit more difficult. So, you know, 

[00:04:19] Lindsay: I'll get there soon. Well, I'll just keep my fingers crossed for you. I appreciate that. It keeps happening soon. All right. So tell us who are you serving right now as a coach? Like, what is your quick bio? And then we'll kind of get into your life story.

Cause she has a really, again, how do people not get sucked into your story before we jump into that? Just tell us maybe who you serve as a coach or, you know, what you're doing primarily, but, you kind of, 

[00:04:47] Sandra: so I am a trauma recovery coach. I have certified in multiple different programs, but I help middle aged moms rediscover themselves and reclaim their life after therapy.

Many of my clients are women who have left the high demand religion, and they are working on unraveling the religious conditioning. And so it's, it's not solely religious clients, but I find that those are the women who kind of make their way to me, because I think it's just because I've been so open with my own story and leaving my religion and, you know, all of the things that go with that.

So. So that's kind of what I am working on right now. 

I, 

 I do host retreats every year. And I love that. That's really my passion. 

And I would love to get into doing more of those. But right now I've, I've been doing it for a while. Every year for the last three years. So 

[00:05:47] Lindsay: it's incredible. That's incredible.

I mean, anyone who feels called to do retreats. I'm all for it because so many women are looking for a space to just come and be seen and accepted. And again, Go into that playful space, right? 

[00:06:05] Sandra: Yeah. Yeah. 

[00:06:06] Lindsay: Yeah. And I 

[00:06:07] Sandra: feel like, I feel like there's something literally magical about bringing women together who are all working on improving themselves.

Like it just creates an atmosphere that you don't get anywhere else. 

[00:06:20] Lindsay: Yeah. It's pretty magical. The retreats that I do are really fun too, because you've got that component of like, it's like a full circle moment, first of all, because usually it's clients who have come through my program. But even if they haven't, it's like, they know me well enough that that's kind of what they're doing in their lives, some version of that.

Right. But like coming together, having that full circle moment where you can be together and, And there's just like some healing that comes from being live. But then the fun part, again, just kind of going back to like, maybe even like that playful part is like being in a foreign country, watching everybody experience something for the first time.

Right. And in that kind of playful childlike way, like that was like, I got so many dopamine hits from just watching people experience the country I've been living in for the last six years. And so it's kind of a fun play. Kind of a fun space because it, it's like somatic healing, but we're also like still doing things and exploring because that's part of it too.

You know? 

[00:07:19] Sandra: Yeah. No, I want to come to one of your retreats early. 

[00:07:22] Lindsay: You should. 

Our next one's in September. So Hey. Awesome. Maybe you shouldn't go to Disneyland. Come to Disneyland Paris. You can come to the retreat. And then there you go. 

[00:07:36] Sandra: That's an idea. 

That's a good idea. Okay. 

[00:07:39] Lindsay: You just need me to be your, your tour guide, your hype up guide.

Putting it on my calendar. That's what we do. Yeah. I joke with people that we'll, we'll jump in, but I joke with people that in another life, I was probably like a tour guide of some sort. And I hold my, I still hold myself to that. So anyway. Okay. Well, Sandra, just tell us about how you kind of got to where you are today, like who you are, where you came from, whatever you feel like, you know, whatever you feel called to share.

 If you guys, for those of you listening, she also does inspirational speaking, and assignments and engagements. And so she was going to share kind of some of what she, you know, we'll share with audiences and stuff when she goes and speaks for groups of people. 

[00:08:23] Sandra: So, I was, actually born in an LDS family. So I was raised as a member of that church. But my family was very dysfunctional. There was lots of abuse, physical, sexual, all of it. We didn't discriminate on what types of abuse we had in our family. So, but kind of an interesting thing along the Disneyland lines, Disneyland was actually my father's favorite vacation spot, which was completely unlike him because he was a very depressed, abusive man, but we would go to Disneyland and he was a different person.

It's kind of like you were saying earlier, you know, it was like, It took him out of whatever it was that created so many problems for him. And he was able to be this amazing father who was playful and we had fun. So I really think that's why I love Disneyland so much. But so I, I grew up in this atmosphere just full of abuse and, I married very young.

I was 19 when I got married and I kind of thought when I got married that I Leaving all of that behind and then got married. And very soon after we were married, I discovered that my husband had a pornography addiction and being active members of the LDS church, that was. Devastating for me and it was really, um, it was really difficult to, you know, just figure out how, how do you stay married whenever there's this thing that feels like such a huge betrayal.

And so we worked on our marriage and not really worked very good on our marriage, but we did a lot of therapy and I was doing a lot of therapy to deal with my childhood trauma. And, then in, in 2012, so we had been married for 25 years at the time and our marriage was basically on the verge of divorce and I was diagnosed with cancer.

And when I was diagnosed with cancer, it was salivary gland cancer and the treatment was radiation. And so I started my radiation treatments and the day after I started radiation treatments, our son came to us and told us that he was gay, which was a whole nother devastation for me, not just because of the, you know, being raised in a church that didn't really support that, but my father had also been gay and had died of AIDS.

So it left me feeling like, I mean, in my mind as a mother, it was like, I watched my father go through a horrific experience. And now I have this child telling me that they're going to live a gay lifestyle. And it was just like so much trauma. And then within a month after that, my husband came to me again and told me that he was involved in pornography, which I actually had thought had ended.

So it was like. This whole 2012. It's actually the year that it was like the culmination of everything in my life getting thrown together and just felt like I just wanted to be gone. It's like, 

how much longer do I have to deal with this. In fact, that year on New Year's Eve, I got my family all together.

And I built a bonfire in our backyard and I said, okay, we're burning this year. And I had everyone write down all the things about the year that were awful and we all threw them in the bonfire and it was supposed to like cleanse us, you know, it didn't, it only got worse, but, but I tried. So anyway, so I went through the cancer treatments and then in 2014, so this was two years later, our youngest son was graduating from high school and wanted to go on a trip to the sand dunes in southern Arizona.

And. So we decided to do that. We hadn't ever done it as a family. My husband and I had actually done ATV riding in our early years of our marriage, but we had never done it as a family. And so we decided to do this for our son. And at the time we were really, really struggling with our marriage, literally as we were driving to the dunes, I was texting a friend, telling her that I wanted to file for a divorce.

And it was just. It was really a dark time of our lives. But we, you know, went to the dunes. We rented vehicles for all of us. My husband and my son rented quads and my daughter and I, my daughter was 15 at the time. So she didn't have a license. She'd never driven. And so we decided to get a Polaris RZR, which is like a two seater dune buggy, kind of.

And so that I could teach her to drive and it was supposed to be the safer option. So we decided to do that. So we got out into the dunes. We had been there for about two hours and my daughter was doing really well. And I turned to her and I said, do you trust me? And of course she's like, yeah. I said, okay, we're going to do something really fun.

I'm going to teach you how to drift. So for those of you who don't know what drifting is, drifting is where you turn the wheel of the vehicle hard enough that it allows the front end to remain in control and the back end slides around you. And I had successfully done this one other time, about 15 minutes before I decided to teach my daughter and she was super excited.

And so we took off. I told her exactly what to do. She turned the wheel and instead of drifting, we started rolling and my arm. Blew out of the car and was crushed by the roll bars of the vehicle. And so, gosh, so yeah, and we came to a stop and honestly, as we were rolling, I knew that I had broken my arm and I literally had the thought, I do not have time for a broken arm, like this is the last thing I need in my life.

We came to a stop and the dust settled. And then I realized that my hand had been severed from my arm. 

[00:15:07] Lindsay: Oh my gosh, your hand was severed from your arm. 

[00:15:10] Sandra: Yeah, so it was still connected by a little tiny piece of skin on one side. One artery had been saved. And if you guys can see my face right now, like, oh, gosh, yeah, it was pretty awful.

So we were, you know, out in the middle of nowhere. And my, I was literally holding my right hand in my left. And so we ended up I ended up, you know, in the hospital. I actually signed papers to have them finish the amputation. And I woke up the next morning after all of that, and I still had my hand, and it was like this.

Just, I don't, I don't even know how to describe it to this day but just this feeling came over me of total peace, and it was like, I knew at that moment that I had this decision that I could go on and continue living my life the way I've been living and continue being bitter and angry about all of the things that could happen to me, or I could make a change and I could figure out how to heal myself and move forward and have peace.

And so I chose peace. And. I realized that it was a decision that I had to make every single day. 

And 

so I, you know, I started looking at how do I do that? How do I create that for myself? And that whole process led me to discovering coaching eventually and becoming a coach because I, I became so passionate about it because I literally never realized I had the option.

Of choosing to have peace in my life. Like I just thought, well, I had all of these horrible things happen to me. And so that was just my lot in life. And I just had to deal with it. And when I realized that I literally had the choice of creating something different, like I need all of the women in the world to know this, because how many women are out there living in misery because they just don't know.

[00:17:34] Lindsay: Yeah. 

[00:17:35] Sandra: They have power inside of themselves to create something different. 

[00:17:39] Lindsay: Yeah. I love that so much. Cause I, I had a, I, I still remember like my, you could call it a rock bottom, but it was kind of like that major pivot point where it was like, I, I almost felt like there was this little voice that was like telling me to just take the reins, like Lindsay, take the reins, like take the effing reins.

Because for me. Everything had felt so reactive. I felt like I was just on this horse and I never knew which way it was going to turn. And I was just kind of getting thrown around, but staying on it. And then finally, there's this voice. It was just like, take the reins. Right. And, and, and part of that taking the reins for me was a version of you're choosing this marriage every day.

Right. Because I was feeling. You know, as, as much as like, I freaking adore my partner. He's a freaking rock star. And we've talked about this in our podcast, but I was feeling very trapped in our, in our situation with what he was going through and all the stuff he was healing from, and I was working two jobs and we had three tiny kids and all the things, and I was just feeling trapped.

And I remember just like, realizing that I had a choice and that I was choosing every day, and that was just. So powerful for me too. So I love that you share that. And again, you said you woke up with your hand. So real quick for people who are like, what's she talking about? Cause she signed papers. Can you tell us really quickly what, happened there?

[00:19:03] Sandra: Yeah. So, like I said, I signed papers to have it amputated. The surgeon was, he was a younger surgeon. He'd only been practicing for about four years. And so he was kind of Someone who was willing to take risks and he got in there to do the surgery and he thought, you know, she doesn't have anything to lose at this point.

What if we just try to save her hand? And I still had a blood supply. So my, you know, my hand had not died. And so he cleaned it, debrided it. And just actually at that point, I thought I had a hand. I really didn't. He had just attached it with an external fixator, which was just like a big metal thing to hold my hand to my arm.

[00:19:50] Lindsay: And then he 

[00:19:50] Sandra: woke me up and said, do you want to try? And I was like, this is my dominant hand. Of course I wanted to, you know, but I, so I, so we talked about it. He said it will probably take me until September. So this was in May. He was like, we'll probably have to do multiple surgeries and it'll take until September.

And I was like, let's do it. And so we started this process of reattaching and repairing my hand. And Four and a half years later, after 20 surgeries, we were finally done. It became a much, much bigger process than either one of us had ever imagined. But if he was successful, I mean, I have, I have about 80 percent use of my hand now and it's.

It's really, it really is a modern day miracle that I have my hand. So 

[00:20:47] Lindsay: yeah, that's pretty magical. And what a gift that you happen to have a surgeon who was willing to think outside of the box and see you not as a surgery, but as a human, the chance to have, to restore that mobility. Yeah. 

[00:21:02] Sandra: No, I was very fortunate that the surgeon I've been told he's the only surgeon in the area that would have even tried.

And He actually ended up having the exact training that was needed in order to perform all of the surgeries on my hand. So he was the only surgeon that worked on me. 

[00:21:21] Lindsay: You 

[00:21:23] Sandra: know, he did the All of the repair work plus all of the plastic surgery and everything on here. It was crazy. So I was very fortunate.

Yeah. 

[00:21:34] Lindsay: I feel like there's just so many parallels that your point of like team deciding that things are a choice with all of this, like paralleling all of that. What was that like for you? Once you realize like, Oh, I do have a choice. I am choosing this. Who do I want to be?

Like, what did that catapult you into? 

[00:21:53] Sandra: Yeah, it, I mean, honestly, it saved my hands. That was what we finally came to. Because throughout the entire process, I, I kind of just decided, so my surgeon, whenever I was released from ICU, I was in ICU for two weeks. And when I was released, he came in and he literally looked at me and he said, I have done what I can do.

The rest is going to be up to you. You have to decide what you want and how much you're willing to put in. And in my mind, what I heard him say was, if you work hard enough, you can have all of your mobility back. Like literally that was kind of what I thought. And so I just decided I was going to do everything that I was told and I was going to have a good attitude about it and I was going to have my hand, you know, and so it literally became a choice every single day of what am I going to do with this day.

How am I going to, make this happen and We got to the end of the five years of surgeries. I, I actually wrote a memoir about it and I interviewed my surgeon and asked him to ask him some questions about the medical part of it, but I asked him, so what is the biggest lesson you learned from my case?

And he said, the biggest thing I learned from you is that people who have a positive attitude and want to heal are always going to have a better outcome than anyone else. Yeah. And that's what I learned. I mean, it was literally just like, I get to choose this and it was a really powerful for me to see.

But I mean, the things he told me, he actually told me he never actually expected to be able to repair my hand, but he said, you had such good insurance, I decided, why not try. Another gift. But he said, it was like, my hand was the worst case he had ever worked on. And he said, it was kind of a fascinating thing for him as a surgeon, but he was like, it was you that actually made this happen.

Oh, 

[00:24:08] Lindsay: I love that. Yeah. That whole like belief and biology piece, right? Yeah. Amazing. 

[00:24:15] Sandra: Yeah. So it is. And so I just, you know, for my life, I look at it and I'm like, I have the power to heal myself, not just mentally, but physically. 

And I really believe that we all have that power, if we want it, if we're willing to accept it.

[00:24:33] Lindsay: Yeah. Well, I find kind of fascinating and you'll have to tell me if you've connected this or not, but What he said versus what you heard, so like, to me, what you heard, it just almost feels like a download of some sort, like one of your intuitive gifts. 

[00:24:50] Sandra: Absolutely. No, at that, at that point, I mean, honestly, during my stay in the hospital, that two weeks that I was in ICU.

I had so many instances of just that, you know, intuition, connection, feeling so inspired. And I mean, it was crazy because like I said, I was talking about divorce the day before, right. I woke up that next morning and my husband came and I said, this is going to be a blessing. I don't know how, but this is going to be a blessing.

We're going to be okay. My husband's looking at me like, you're on drugs.

[00:25:37] Lindsay: That has to be a download. If that's what's coming through, it has to be a download. 

[00:25:43] Sandra: But it was, it literally was like, uh, it was like instantaneous almost because I was just like, this is going to be a positive, you know? And, and it was. 

[00:25:55] Lindsay: Yeah. But I 

[00:25:55] Sandra: really think that if there was a lot of divine intervention there, 

[00:26:01] Lindsay: that's really, really powerful.

Thank you so much for sharing that. I think it's really cool because you know, as you kind of decided to dial into your change work, there's so much power in that because I remember feeling the same way when I decided for me. It's up to me and and there's some little opening phrase on, um, it's like the goop podcast intro and, and there's this woman and she just says, when you realize that a superhero isn't coming to save you, you turn to yourself.

Not that we are meant to have support from people around us, but there's something about like digging deep into you and your power and how freaking powerful that is. And so I just, thank you so much for sharing that. Cause I think so many people will be able to resonate with like how freaking powerful they are.

And I think a lot of times our clients are afraid of their power. Right. Right. I think sometimes when we think about the things, the dreams that we want, it's almost like, When you dial out of the fear, it's more of the fear of recognizing how much power we have. You know? Absolutely. 

[00:27:11] Sandra: Yeah. And I think it is.

And honestly, I, I look back at that time and I, I feel really grateful that I was on drugs because I think it kept the fear away and allowed me to connect, you know? 

[00:27:27] Lindsay: Yeah. 

[00:27:27] Sandra: And it's really kind of, I've thought about it a lot because. I was on drugs for nearly five years, like almost solid and heavy drugs, but, but I think that that did help with keeping the fear away and allowing me to connect.

And so I'm always very aware of that with my clients because I know that fear is a big thing that keeps us from doing what we want to do, you know, and we have to find ways to work through that. 

[00:27:58] Lindsay: Yeah. 

[00:27:58] Sandra: Everyone gets drugs. 

[00:27:59] Lindsay: Yeah, you might live in a country where it's just illegal. So you know, not everybody gets, Oh my gosh, this is so good.

All right. So thank you so much for sharing all of that. And I know that it's going to resonate with people who just are feeling it. And for people who are feeling it, if you feel like you're in the rut and it's hard, you As you hear Sandra's story, please don't compare the way that we've been taught like, Oh, well, I guess I don't have it as bad as she did.

So I shouldn't feel bad. Like Sandra and I both know that . Pain is not a zero sum game. And so whatever pain you're feeling, wherever you are with respect to your life situation, that's real and let yourself feel that.

And as you let yourself feel that and process that compassionately and lovingly, you'll know when it's time to dial into that, like, okay, well, what can I do? Where you kind of get into that. Deep, visceral, like power center place, you know? 

[00:29:04] Sandra: Yeah. So, yeah. And I think it's, that is a really good point because I, I think it's super important for people to recognize that my pain does not negate your pain.

Exactly. My, my trauma does not negate your trauma. We all have things that we have to deal with and, just because it may seem like mine was worse. Doesn't mean that it creates anything different for you in your nervous system, you know, like your trauma can be just as difficult, so. Yeah.

[00:29:34] Lindsay: Yeah. And the very people that like want us to compare and decide that our stuff isn't as bad and blah, blah, blah, blah, and discount and not recognize that we have real stuff too. Those are typically people or systems that want us to stay in weakened positions and things like that.

And so please know that feeling what you need to feel , that's what's going to help you heal, but that's actually what's going to help humanity heal. You know? Yeah. So, I love everything that you share and, and I still remember when you, when you came into my program and told me about, you know, all the certifications and things that you've already done.

And you're like, I am a walking, like living, breathing, walking, talking trauma survivor. I can't remember how you said it, but it was some version of that. Tell me what were you noticing in your business? or in your work or in your personal relationships, whatever it was. Yeah. That was kind of maybe opening you up to looking for something else, like the advanced relationship trauma certification to perhaps integrate into your work or your personal relationships or whatever it is that you're, you're looking at.

[00:30:45] Sandra: Yeah, like I said, I have several certifications. I'm, I'm a certified Trauma recovery coach, but. In all of the certifications that I did, I always felt like there was a piece missing and I was never quite sure what it was, but it was the reason I kept getting certifications was because I kept looking for this thing that I felt like it was missing.

And literally my husband. He's so good. He's such a good man. He would be like. You want to do another certification? Is this what I'm like? I think so, you know, but I finally, when I found Lindsay and I read all of the information about her certification, I was like, I think this is it, but I'll tell you that I was still really skeptical.

And I scheduled a appointment with Lindsay to talk to her. And she probably thought I was crazy, but I was like, I need to know, are you actually going to cover Something different. And she assured me she was. And so I signed up for the advanced certification and it has been so powerful. Like the feeling that I am receiving from it has been amazing, but it's taking all of the somatic work, all of the body work and you know, it's things that I've done because I, I learned how to do them in order to heal and in order to go through that five years, you know, but your program has kind of given me the structure around them to be able to take them into my practice and start helping my clients feel from, you know, an emotional level from inside, not just cognitively. And that has been really powerful. And so yeah, I'm really thrilled to have found you and your program.

[00:32:34] Lindsay: Oh, thank you for sharing. Yeah. Well, first of all, I love the way that you share that because I've been told by so many coaches that It's almost like it takes pieces of things they've learned here and there, and then finally like wraps it up in like a beautiful box and like puts a ribbon on it.

So it's like, okay, now I'm understanding how this can all be integrated because it's, it's one thing to understand pieces, but when the, when the Rubik's cube finally starts coming together and like click, click, click, click, click, click, click, it's, it's like ineffable, you know, it's pretty powerful. 

[00:33:05] Sandra: It is. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's literally like the picture suddenly becomes clear. I don't see. It's so much easier to understand when a client comes to me and is unraveling because of all of the conditioning of years and years, and they don't have a clue what to do. And it's like, Oh, I understand you.

And I have a ton of tools that I can help you, you know, use and find what will work for you in your situation. And it's been so helpful. I love that. That description of it all being wrapped up and tied with a bow. Like that is a perfect description. 

[00:33:44] Lindsay: Oh, you're so sweet. Is there anything, because you're, you're still in the program, you're going through and wrapping up in the next month or so.

What have you already noticed with respect to like yourself or the way that you coach or your, you know, your one, your relationship that you're working with? Is there anything that you, Want to share? 

[00:34:06] Sandra: Yeah. I think honestly, the thing that has been probably the biggest aha for me is recognizing that I have still been stuck in a flight, in a fight flight state, like in that high activated state.

 And I didn't realize that like I've done so much work and so much training and so much of everything. And coming into this program, I was able to pinpoint the areas that I still need work on. And that has been really powerful for me to just be able to see that in myself. And it was because you, you kind of explained it and described it in ways that I'd never seen before.

And so it was just really helpful to better understand the nervous system and how it's working and how it's not working, all of those things. And so that for me personally, that's been a really big thing. For in my coaching, I have just become so much more aware of the cues that clients give me that are, that are not verbal, you know, they're not saying things.

It's just, I'm able to take their words and their story and see how that is affecting me. Them in their body. And that's been really powerful. And to be able to really, I don't know how else to describe it, except that it's, it's like, I had been very focused on the cognitive before on, you know, mind management and thought work and all of those things.

And now I find myself going to, well, let's talk about what's going on in your body first and figure out how we regulate there. Okay. And I feel like that's what your program has given me is the language and the ability. To go to the root inside before we work our way up to the brain, where we can start to actually, you know, make those cognitive decisions of, you know, what do I want and how do I create it?

[00:36:20] Lindsay: Yeah. Yeah. And making sure that we're like in that window of tolerance before we, do that work where we've regulated and related before the reason I love that you're sharing that. This has been such a powerful conversation. I was just going to say, is there anything, That you want us to know about you, with respect to your life, why you think it matters to be trauma informed, what you're doing with, with your work, how can people find you?

[00:36:45] Sandra: Yeah, I, I mean, I think that the trauma informed coaching itself is so important because if you are a human, you have trauma, especially in the post pandemic world, you know, and I think it's so important to have someone who you can trust to help you, who understands that. So I think that the being trauma informed and understanding trauma and how to work with that in coaching practice is really important.

So thank you, Lindsay, because I just want to say that like your program really has been amazing for me. As far as me, you can find me on social media under Sandra Jarvis coaching. I'm also getting ready to release a podcast that's called heal yourself first. And it's something I'm doing with my daughter and we're having a ton of fun with that.

So watch for that. And yeah, it's really fun. We're, you know, focusing on helping moms. I, I'm kind of passionate about, Severing the chains of generational trauma. I want to give those tools to moms so that they can heal themselves and pass down the healing to their children. And so that's what that podcast is focused on.

And I'm really excited about that. So come listen, heal yourself first. Yeah. So that's kind of, that's kind of where I'm at right now. 

[00:38:08] Lindsay: Oh, wow. Well, thank you so much. I'm sure what we'll do, we'll make sure my assistant puts all the, all of your information in the show notes so people can find you. And then when your podcast does go live, they'll be able to take a listen there as well, because all of that stuff is so invaluable.

And yeah. Just thank you for being you, for being a human and existing. And I just love that our paths have crossed in this way as well. It's been just beautiful. Yes, 

[00:38:34] Sandra: it has. So thank you. Thanks for having me today. It's been fun to talk to 

[00:38:38] Lindsay: you. Ah, thank you. Thank you.