Mind Over Matter: Mindset Development
Family Matters ft.Kenton
On this weeks episode I’m joined by Executive Producer of Big Fun Films Kenton Cummings. We discuss the role family plays in his inspiration, his aspirations to create children’s content, our favorite cartoons to watch growing up plus much more.
Podcast available on ALL listening platforms
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Watch Manhattan Neighborhood Network EVERY Saturday @ 12pm
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DEJA @deja.waja
On this weeks episode I’m joined by Executive Producer of Big Fun Films Kenton Cummings. We discuss the role family plays in his inspiration, his aspirations to create children’s content, our favorite cartoons to watch growing up plus much more.
Podcast available on ALL listening platforms
Mind Over Matter linktr.ee/mindovermatterbabyyy
Watch Manhattan Neighborhood Network EVERY Saturday @ 12pm
Follow us on Instagram
@mindovermatterbabyyy
DEJA @deja.waja
And essentially the goal was to give people of color a chance to create content based in their voice, that doesn't speak to the same bias and preconceived ideas of how we're seen in media or in film and TV. We generally are seen in a particular way, and how can we widen that screen, how can we widen that opportunity and widen the view of how we're being seen in media and TV?
Speaker 2:The mind of a matter is magic, I do magic. Don't you know what I'm gonna hide? The mind of a matter is magic, I do magic. Don't you know what I'm gonna hide? The mind of a matter is magic, I do magic. Don't you know what I'm gonna hide? The mind of a matter is magic, I do magic. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:I like that your.
Speaker 1:I like that. That was off the top.
Speaker 3:That was acapella, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, off the top. Okay, I didn't even rehearse that one. No, ai Shall, we do it again.
Speaker 3:Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, welcome to Mind Over Matter baby. I'm your host, deja Wallace, and, as you can see, I have a lovely, lovely guest with me today.
Speaker 1:This hat no me, is it me?
Speaker 3:Yes, you it's Kenton.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's me. My name is Kenton and I'm here today.
Speaker 3:What you want the people to know about you, to get more connected, more familiar with you. What would you like the people to know about you?
Speaker 1:My life long walks on the beach. I like sneakers.
Speaker 2:Shocking.
Speaker 1:Well, no, I think we're here today because, you know, there's some things that I'm really proud of, of what I do. One of those things is being a dad, and the other one is probably just like what I do for work and how I get to live in something that I like doing, I guess.
Speaker 3:He's being very humble. He is a very loving, innovative, just a very creative person. I love being around you. You know you're just exciting, vibrant, good vibe. I could tell you love being alive, like yeah. Yeah, he's also the owner and executive producer, ceo, big CEO, let me get this right.
Speaker 1:I don't have shares to share yet, so, okay, I can't go to CEO claim, but I'll take the.
Speaker 3:EP. I'll take the owner EP of big fun films yeah.
Speaker 1:That's a little production company, a little boutique production company that I started a few years ago.
Speaker 3:A big production company.
Speaker 1:It's all right, we're still growing. We're still growing. We have things, but we still growing. Still more doors to walk through, more hurdles to go over. But in these last few years definitely learned a lot. Had some good experiences, but yeah, mostly in commercial film production, which is a little different than narrative. But those spaces are different. When you get into the world of film production it's not the same. But I work primarily in commercial film production, making commercials.
Speaker 3:Mm-hmm and I've seen some of your work. You worked with. You had this M&M commercial.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we did a branded spot with M&M's and that also, you know that leans into like how kind of you know as a production company, me myself kind of being there, like how you need to be flexible in the space. Generally, I could be working in more than one capacity. You know, I could be just talking about ideas creatively, I could be on set, or I can be collaborating with another media company or production company to execute something. So for that M&M's project, that was what a company called Culture Genesis, out of Los Angeles, based in Santa Monica. I worked with them on some projects and one of them was that spot where I think it was M&M's was the brand and the talent was Hit Boy. I think that's a Doughboy.
Speaker 3:Look how. I'm showing my age. I'm sorry, who is Doughboy?
Speaker 1:I don't know, doughboy is a guy from all deaf digital. Yes, that's. Which is also, which is funny enough, which is under Culture Genesis.
Speaker 3:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:So Culture Genesis actually owns and operates all deaf digital. So, like Pat and Meg kept on stage came out of that space. He's running his own thing right now, but there's a lot of comedy there and a lot of projects and music as well, so that's a great space for me to be able, as like my production company, to collaborate with a larger media company to make content in that space.
Speaker 3:What even made you want to start this big project? Because starting a whole company isn't an easy feat. That's something you have to mentally tell yourself you're going to do first, before you actually go out and bring this idea into reality. So what mentality did you have even going into like saying I want to start this company?
Speaker 1:It kind of came out of being rejected. But there was a I had, like this was kind of like my third type of like career thing. You know, I started off as an actor, then I was like a elementary school teacher for a while and I went back to school, to grad school, RIT.
Speaker 3:Ooh, Rochester Institute of Technology. Okay, I'll play to you.
Speaker 1:I didn't accept, I'm sorry. So good, so good. You got the wealth of information right here. But I went to RIT for grad school for film and animation, and I came back into New York and it was like PAing, which is like production assisting, which is rough. Anybody who knows it was ever been a PA- Running to get coffee, I mean.
Speaker 1:I wasn't good at it on purpose you know what I mean Like I wasn't. Don't ask me to get coffee because I'm gonna mess it up, but you could ask me to do something on set and I'll do that for you really well. I kind of learned that aspect. But I applied to a program to be in the union and I had to do a bunch of stuff Like this is like after graduating from grad school, I still applied to this like two year program, so DGA, union program, trainee program, and you need to like provide all this paperwork and recommendations and references and show it all the stuff. And I did that and I got called for an interview and I got asked a question pretty much like why would you get hired here? And I was like for the same reasons that you called me for the interview, I would think, but I essentially didn't get in which I thought I would have been a shoe in for.
Speaker 1:It'd be like that I know, but I ain't get in. And I went home and it was my. I actually got the rejection letter on my birthday oh no, on my birthday, and I was throwing a party that day and I remember getting the letter after coming home from PA, I got the letter, I read it I was like on a Macy's job or something and I read it and I had to make a choice at that moment to go to my party, like I couldn't go like feeling like like rejected essentially. So in that one moment I was just like, oh, I'm gonna start something and that's what I'm gonna go with this brand new energy of like I'm gonna start my own kind of production company, not really knowing what I was doing, but just knowing that I wasn't gonna sit in that feeling of rejection.
Speaker 3:I love that.
Speaker 1:So I went out and did that and I just started the company, like you know, registering it, and I chose to do an S-Corp instead of an LLC and just understanding what that meant for the growth of the business. But that's how I got in, that's how I started the production company, essentially.
Speaker 3:So it was more so like you were, like you know what. I'm gonna take my life into my own hands. I'm not gonna wait for somebody to accept me, I'm gonna accept myself.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a give and take right Like I wanted to be a part of the program. However, at that moment, I just, you know, I was a father, I had responsibilities and I couldn't wait anymore per se, which they were asking me to wait Like oh wait, apply again in a year, and I was like I don't really have that. You know what I mean. Like I need to get going now, or to know that I'm moving on a path right now. So that's why I ended up just like starting this company.
Speaker 3:And with fatherhood right, I know it's just like this extra, I would say, pressure. In a way, it's a good pressure to make sure you are on the right path, you know, and make sure that you are thinking with long-term goals in mind, not just thinking for the next year. You're thinking about, you know, way further than before, when you weren't a father. It was just a different mindset, you know. So what role did that play in, just like your overall thought process of like, okay, I'm trying to make this big move now for the future me, for my children.
Speaker 1:Let me see.
Speaker 3:Like, how did being a father just realign you with their purpose and really make you like, take that.
Speaker 1:I think that's honestly. I think fatherhood constantly is a constant factor in defining what that is. I think there's an accountability and a responsibility that just comes in general. However, you know, parenting is like it's not like a label for one way to be, it's actually like a function, right, like being a father to a 16-year-old is not the same requirement as being a father to a three-year-old.
Speaker 1:So I'm always learning about how that, what my role as a father is supposed to be for my daughter. But in that moment, I think the main thing that was happening for me was feeling like I had something to offer, whether that be money or time or knowledge but I just wanted to make sure that I had something to offer to my child and I wanted to feel better, and that would make me feel better by myself as a man. So I started doing that, and one of those ways was me being able to show tenacity and how to do something for myself and the value of that, and that's why it was important for me to start the business essentially and not just wait another year.
Speaker 3:I see a lot Other people. They elevate and they really get to heights they never thought they could even imagine from fatherhood, or they just go the complete opposite way. You know.
Speaker 1:I made a whole documentary about this when my daughter was pregnant. I mean, when my daughter's mother was pregnant. Yeah, I mean I wish these things, oh man. But I made a whole documentary on this. It's called wait, what does it call? It's called Father man.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 1:All right, it's a whole doc, okay, about those ideas, because those things came to me at that moment when I was in school. I was in grad school when I found out that we were pregnant and I made this documentary called Father man, which explored the ideas of what tells a man oh, how does a man identify that he's ready for fatherhood Generally and the ideas in the film discussed and I don't know if I'm on topic or not, but I'm gonna keep going.
Speaker 1:You're talking to me, I'm talking to you, but the topics in the documentary discussed society kind of like. There are things that you, I identified from my, I pinpointed for myself that would let me know that I was a man right. Those things were that I owned a house, that I was married and I had a career At the time, that I thought we were pregnant. I had none of those things right. So I myself was telling, believed in myself that I wasn't prepared for being a father. I think that I'm not trying to give excuses to people who don't pick up their own mantle of being a father, but I can understand how a person may be talking themselves out of the ability to do something because they just feel like they don't have the tools and they're not prepared. So I made this documentary really to highlight those things and then to also show a guy, a man, a way to navigate that. And one of those things what I basically did was lean on my community. So I went to a pastor and talked to them, chopped it up with them a little bit.
Speaker 1:I chopped it up with my father, which is something I think a lot of men don't get to do all the time and not feel judged or whatever have you? And then I had, like, went to, like the pediatrician and like, spoke to the pediatrician about caring for my child to be, and those conversations really addressed or reinforced. Like I do have skills, I do have ideas, I do have things, even though I don't have a home, you know I didn't have a career, you know I wasn't married, that I am ready for fatherhood and really fatherhood again is a function that's going to change and as long as I am prepared to begin it, then I can go on the journey. So I to the documentary in a sense helped me as I was doing it, I was the subject of it. It just helped me to deal with some of those fears of being a father or becoming a parent. I'm pretty sure mothers go through that too, but I can only speak from the perspective of a man Right, and I'm not a mother yet.
Speaker 3:I can't really speak on parenthood, but I can speak on family and I feel like there's a lot of artistry that comes from understanding your family dynamic and I see that a lot in my work and like when I'm writing or even when I'm, like you know, doing like solo audio episodes and I'm venting to the mic, and a lot of the times I feel like creative work can stem from your experience and many of us don't really take time to acknowledge the role that family plays in our artistry. Do you think that there's any like, or should I say this Is there? How has your family helped you to create and like, influence you and inspire you to make certain content?
Speaker 1:I think that's a great question and if I thought about it I would say in two different, in a couple ways. The first way I would say that my family has definitely helped is that my family is Jamaican. High confidence, high sense of confidence and purpose, right Like you need to be doing something for a reason, and so those things kind of sit in my work. I feel good about what I'm doing and I want to make sure what I'm doing lands. So I think that that comes out of my family's like just kind of work ethic and things like that. The other thing is I generally like to make general films or content for general audiences. That's that's what I usually.
Speaker 1:I actually went to film school because I wanted to make children's media. That was. That was exactly where my heart is. I think mostly it's not where most of the box are. I'm seeing it per se. Maybe if I got out of commercials I would. I would see some more in that space, but I see more in like the brands and that type of stuff.
Speaker 1:But I like children's content. I like children's media, the most general media, general content for general audiences sorry, content for general audiences and I think that's because I want to be able to show it to all my family and I want my mom to be proud of what I'm making and stuff like that. So I don't want to you know I never like guns per se, so I don't like include those things in most of my films or most of my content. There's none of that and that's how I think my family definitely influences the stuff that I make. One because I want to be able to show it to them and they understand it. And then I want it to be intentful or to have intent. I don't know if intentful is a word, so take it out, it is a word.
Speaker 3:No, it is not.
Speaker 1:If it's not it sounds right. Ok, with intent and purpose and that just, I think, comes out again. My family is like work ethic. You know what they stand for.
Speaker 3:So you wanted to create children's content, like on some like Sesame Street or yeah, I'd like studied puppetry.
Speaker 1:I knew how to make puppets and work with puppets. I even have like some content where I'm acting and doing a puppet at the same time. And yes, this thing, I don't know if you show, you show stuff, yeah, I run the tape, I'm running it, but it may not be for children, but the ideas they are behind it are there's, there's puppetry, you know, overacting and fun.
Speaker 3:How do you feel about the content coming out now? Because personally it's concerning growing up. The cartoons are very like you know, wholesome, like you go on an adventure, you go save the fairy or something.
Speaker 1:A turtle or two.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know what I'm saying Very ooze it feels like the content I'm watching now is stressful, like are these kids going through something?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I don't watch, like, I don't know if I can say this, but like I don't watch, like what is this? Like? The book form is manga, manga, I guess. But what would be the cartoons that everyone watches these days?
Speaker 3:Like specific cartoons.
Speaker 1:They have one called one like Teen Titans, go Like stuff like those are like Nickelodeon shows, I believe, or like cartoon network, but they have like the animated stuff I don't like anime.
Speaker 3:I don't know and nothing about anime.
Speaker 1:Right, you know and I know that there's people who are like making their face up at the screen right now called anime. I don't watch anime, so I don't know about that part. But anime is not for kids. Yeah, but kids watch it because it's a cartoon. All right kids, All right kids. Shows these days. I don't watch them. You don't watch them, Please don't.
Speaker 3:I do not recommend it.
Speaker 1:We'd have to like please make new content.
Speaker 3:I'm begging you.
Speaker 1:There's some cool stuff that are out. I don't know any of their names anymore.
Speaker 3:It feels like I lose brain cells when I watch it.
Speaker 1:Really.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay, what was your favorite Like?
Speaker 1:Amazing World of Gumball Like that one. That was the one that I was in my head that I actually liked. Oh, you liked it Because of the mixed media. I think it's very interesting, like they're in a 3D world but they're 2D, and I think it's funny. I think the writing is a little funny there.
Speaker 3:Actually, that's the one cartoon that I was thinking about. It's funny, but like all right, Apple and Orange, let's go to that.
Speaker 1:I don't know what that is. Those are fruits that I like to eat.
Speaker 3:Yes, and it's also a show About what. It's also a show about nothing, exactly About nothing, but I don't know. I pride myself on being brought up in like the golden age of cartoon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what was your favorite cartoon back then? What was your favorite cartoon?
Speaker 3:That's so hard, I'll say Foster, home of Imaginary Friends. What is that?
Speaker 1:We had simple cartoons He-Man.
Speaker 3:Catdog was also really good.
Speaker 1:That definitely came out the same meeting. Hey guys, we got a cartoon. What's it called He-Man? What's the next one, catdog?
Speaker 2:All right.
Speaker 1:None of those are my favorite cartoons growing up.
Speaker 3:Later, because you grew up way before I grew up, I watched cartoons well into my adulthood. Okay, recess Amazing cartoon yeah, amazingly written cartoon. Yeah, that's a good one.
Speaker 1:Great stories, Good stuff for children. Delt with all ideas about being in school, like the things that kids actually deal with being in school creating friends, clicks, navigating, different clicks, different grades, what it feels like and the different personalities in that one group was amazing. I really liked that cartoon. That is a great-. Recess. That's a great cartoon. Recess was a good cartoon and then, like retro cartoons that I really liked Gargoyles, that was I used to go to this junior high school. I used to take an hour and a half to get home and that was the last cartoon that was on the after-school time. I used to have cartoons after school.
Speaker 3:Do you Are you very overprotective of the content you're child watch?
Speaker 1:There's no TikTok. You know, wow, okay, we would do TikTok if you can devise a plan to generate income off of it, so we could use TikTok for that, but currently we don't have a plan for that. We're talking about cooking shows, things like that.
Speaker 3:But why don't you-?
Speaker 1:Because it aggregates and it influences. That's its purpose to steal information from you and then to use it to force-feed you other information.
Speaker 3:And that's one of the main reasons I'm kind of skeptical about raising a child or even having children, because of the technological age that is emerging, the age of information, and I learned a lot because I wasn't supervised when it came to the internet. So I learned a lot at a young age and I feel like it kind of makes me worried for the information that my children would have access to. It will be even faster, easier for them to get certain content which concerns me and makes me think, like you know what.
Speaker 1:Maybe- I will say I hear you and I don't know how lucky I am, but my daughter doesn't watch that stuff. If I was to eavesdrop and grab her tablet at any moment, it would have some like how to somebody building something, someone talking about like maybe there's some Minecraft. We do video game a bunch, but it's never like something wild, crazy, inappropriate.
Speaker 3:I think it's because you're already on top of it.
Speaker 1:You're aware I might be maybe I lead that, but I'm definitely not like a person who likes to control. It's more about like setting-, scaffolding, setting an example, letting people make let her make her choices and then scaffold the consequences. But at the end of the day, it's like what's the purpose behind you watching that? What's it doing for you? If you if it's doing something for you, okay, keep watching it. There'll be some consequences that I'm not gonna be the one that's to be like oh well, now you're acting like this. Maybe it's because of what you're watching, you know, and we can talk about that, but I don't really like to label it as this is bad, this is wrong, as you may be able to get something from it. You don't have to do exactly what you see on the screen. But generally, I think it's more about what is she getting from whatever she's watching?
Speaker 1:And so she does a lot of these like how-to video stuff, people putting things together, how things work, like reading Rainbow.
Speaker 3:I don't know what that is. What. I don't know what that is. What is that?
Speaker 1:Butterfly in the sky. I can't go twice as high.
Speaker 3:Oh, I thought you were gonna sing something else.
Speaker 1:Take a look, I thought you were gonna sing.
Speaker 3:Butterflies in the sky. You know how I feel.
Speaker 1:It's a new dawn. All right, I mean, that's that's a decent singer and pianist named Simone. Yeah, but read it in Rainbow. Read it in Rainbow was that's a legend, that's a time, and that's the type of stuff that I hope to make one day Shows like reading Rainbow.
Speaker 3:Talking about your content. Your creating what is like the main message. You want to tell someone about it. Oh, I see, put out with your filmmaking. And like what positive impact do you want to have through your filmmaking?
Speaker 1:There's a book, my favorite children's book. It's called Abiyoya. I've always dreamed I'm gonna keep that quiet. It's called Abiyoya. It's written by a folk singer from like the 40s 50s, before that name Pete Seeger. Basically, the book discusses that people are different. The world is filled with different people. Everyone has something to offer. If we can allow an opportunity to highlight what people have to offer, then we can appreciate and learn more and benefit from whatever their contribution is. But we just kind of have to give people an opportunity to do that and if we can find ways to do this, we would just find more benefit from what people can give. So I think that is generally what I want to do with my content. Let give people a minute to show you how great that they are.
Speaker 3:And that's essentially the beauty of storytelling.
Speaker 1:If you can capture an audience to give you a moment to do that. There's different ways to do that. Let's say, like the Eminem spot was more about a person's creativity. It was important in that piece even though it's just music or whatever to show that a producer, or this producer, Hit Boy specifically, a young black producer from the inner city, creates, like how he can make something out of nothing, literally and also connect his life in that moment and to express himself and have success in that, like creating a real beat. Feel free to play the beat, but or the clip or whatever, but that's what's important to me. I think that resonates with people when they watch with the audience. There's other types of stuff like that, or even like one of the big projects that I've done called Widen the Screen.
Speaker 3:I've seen that one too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, like that. I got a chance to produce that with a wonderful director. His name is Kevin Wilson Jr, amazing director from NYU, originally from North Carolina. But that project was the term is Widen the Screen and essentially the goal was to give people of color a chance to create content based in their voice, that doesn't speak to the same bias and preconceived ideas of how we're seen in media or in film and TV. We generally are seen in a particular way, and how can we widen that screen, how can we widen that opportunity and widen the view of how we're being seen in media and TV?
Speaker 1:So again, I think that is where my purpose lies in filmmaking and which makes it hard, because it's not always about that right Like. It's like how can you sell more Coca-Cola? It's like right Like, make that cooler so we can sell Coca-Cola. There's no purpose there but to sell the Coca-Cola and I can feel good about achieving that. But then I don't know. I'm just a vehicle for another company to make more money, which is fine, because I hope that can make something in term too. But what's more important for me is that I'm using whatever God's gifts are to make some change and to help. People live amongst each other better Talking about making change.
Speaker 3:Let's talk about money. You see that little segue.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I see. I see you should have put like a chain chain.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna put that now.
Speaker 1:I'll got to. All right, should we do a money dance?
Speaker 3:Yeah, not right now. Though not right now, yeah, all right. What does generational wealth look like to you?
Speaker 2:Hmm.
Speaker 1:Um, to me I think I'm just trying to apply the term generation of wealth outside of like social media, right? So there's a million things that you hear on social media Generally once this you got to buy the property, flip. This put it in the chest.
Speaker 2:Do this buy the equipment. Buy the equipment exactly right.
Speaker 1:And I think, generational wealth, I think people can look at it as whatever steps they're making to help the next generation. Right, it could be a wealth of information, it could be a wealth of business, of property, of money, whatever have you, but wealth is wealth Like. Whatever you're using to move yourself and your family forward is generational wealth. It's breaking a generational curse, if that's the case, right. So, yes, for me, generational wealth is me being able to share the information and lessons that I've learned with my child. Now, with my children now. Not like I didn't learn about things like 18, 21, till I was like going on my own adventures, but my daughter's nine has already been to Paris, already been to London, been to Stonehenge, like she's already been, not just to both Disney's Excuse me, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Okay, well traveled, trying, but it's not even just about, oh, I had a bayonet or I had a croissant in France. It's not just about that. It's like, no, we're at the Louvre. We're like walking around. We're like understanding art. We're understanding why this art is here, or how did it get here? It was stolen. It's here, but it was stolen. Okay, it was stolen. From where and why? Okay, we can understand how the world kind of works, right, more so than just saying I went to Louvre, this is great, it's awesome, but we went to Stonehenge. I forever thought that Stonehenge was some alien built thing who didn't.
Speaker 3:Wait, I need to look at what Stonehenge. What Stonehenge? Stonehenge is a rock formation.
Speaker 1:It's a rock formation in the UK. It's west of London, southwest of London, and it's very old. It's very, very old, very ancient, and the stones themselves are there and they came from a very far place. They didn't come from that area and it was built essentially. But when you look at it, when you show the pictures, like how did that stone get up there, how did they do that? And essentially I thought all my life aliens built Stonehenge or aliens had something to do with Stonehenge. But no, it's just history there about people, about towns, about how things change over many years, about how the original rock formation can be dated back to Chinese civilization Nothing to do with the UK, right, but people. There's information there that kind of suggests that we are kind of similar than we are different, that there's people who just have religious practices and I may be screwing up all the information about Stonehenge. So go check it out, but it was awesome.
Speaker 3:No, I love traveling. That's my favorite way to learn and that's beautiful. You get to do that with your family.
Speaker 1:I did my daughter's hair and she keeps bouncing around trying to get in camera, but it's not gonna happen yet. We could do a dance at the end or something. Not yet, I'm still sure.
Speaker 3:So what specific positive generational cycles do you want to incorporate into your family tradition for your child to really be like? My dad really taught me how to do this and I will forever cherish this.
Speaker 1:How to move in a room full of all just. I think the most important thing is having self-confidence, knowing your value, knowing your worth, knowing that you have something to offer, so that when you walk into the room you know you have something to offer. It's not whether or not anyone thinks you have something to offer which is giving you a place to share. She walks into a room. She should have a bounty of information to relate to what's going on, so this way she never feels out the loop of what's going on, even if she attends a school where she's the only person who looks like her. All right, that's a whole nother conversation. But even there it's important for me to know that she feels confident walking in there.
Speaker 1:I am who I am. I hear looks the way it looks. I talk the way I talk. I come from where I come from. I'm fine with that, and if you have a problem, that's fine too. But I'm not going to dumb myself down or dim my light because it's different than your light. My light's just as bright, see. But that's what I think is wealth.
Speaker 3:That's beautiful. I think just the fact that she has like a dad like you in her life is something that she's going to just appreciate growing up.
Speaker 3:Until she's 13. Not a little later, a little later like 16. Oh my God. But even like, I feel like a lot of my confidence and a lot of like just my. You know, the way I move about my days is because I had just a steady two parent household where I had, you know, my dad. I go home to my dad, I go home to my mom, and that just instills a sense of confidence in you. Naturally, I feel like, Because sometimes I'm having conversations with most of my friends who don't have fathers in their lives and I could see their insecurities, especially when I speak about my father and stuff, and it's a privilege that I don't wanna take for granted.
Speaker 1:That's what's up, that you can identify it, and it's messed up. And again we first we spoke about like father man and I was just I was a young filmmaker when I made that documentary, but I did. I was feeling it, the pressure of like I'm not capable of this. Yeah, I probably couldn't go home to my mom and say I'm not capable. You know, like I might catch two swift bucks before how.
Speaker 2:You mean oh. You mean I mean we is. I mean you mean you're not capable of what.
Speaker 1:Okay, like I would just catch two hits and then I would be capable, yes, and I'd be like, wow, I should give birth myself. But I don't remember what I was saying. Oh, I think, yes, I think it's good that you see the value in that it doesn't last forever. I'm learning that too.
Speaker 3:What? What doesn't last forever?
Speaker 1:It's not my baby forever. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:But it's still gonna be that bond, no matter what, no matter what, it's still gonna be there.
Speaker 1:That's what they say. That's what they say.
Speaker 3:No, I'm telling you like I'm 23 now and me and my father has like this crazy bond, like yeah.
Speaker 1:What's the what's? What do you think is the one thing you appreciate most about that relationship?
Speaker 3:Oh, don't make me cry. I appreciate how patient he is, Even when I like he makes me feel like it's okay to mess up. It's okay to you know, not have your life figured out right now. It's very patient when it comes to that and understanding, which is very different from my mother who was, like you know, very like definite Everything has to be a certain way. So it's refreshing, it's a balance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but the patience is what you see.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he's the most patient person.
Speaker 1:You hear that man Patience.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it kind of makes me sad cause I know there's never going to be a man like my father, which is, which is. I'm like this unrealistic expectation.
Speaker 1:Right Should let you understand that you need to show some patience too.
Speaker 3:Me. Don't we all. I try, i'ma try.
Speaker 1:Sometimes we know things that no one else knows, because we're supposed to be the ones who teach it, who show it and demo it. It's kind of like the task that God gave you, yeah, and it may be hard for you, whatever, but that's your journey, that's how you're supposed to go on. But I think my mom was the one who kind of instilled in me the Hold on KK. My mom is the one who kind of installed in me to love myself openly, to feel confident. She was an entrepreneur when I was a kid. She owned her own beauty salon. She did a lot of things, but she worked for herself and I learned that, that you could provide for your family that way, and so I pursued it. But I learned that from my mom. She definitely had that ability to make things happen. I didn't want for anything growing up. I didn't know I was missing anything. I had a Nintendo.
Speaker 3:Oh, you had money. Yeah, oh, you got money, you had the.
Speaker 1:Nintendo. You got money. I found that Nintendo underneath the bed. She tried to hide it and I found it. I looked, I found it Christmas. I found it under the bed. Her and my auntie Mavie put together and bought that. That's love.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that is.
Speaker 1:That's love, because I don't know if you I know what Nintendo was, or the fact that some West Indian women, some Jamaican women, were buying a Nintendo. Okay, they didn't buy, they didn't even know how to say Nintendo, nintendo, but they didn't buy Nintendo. But I'm gonna tell you, you know that took a lot for them to have to say that they was gonna buy a video game system. I couldn't even think about it Like what. I don't even think they found the reason why they needed to buy that video game system other than making us happy.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 3:So, yeah, no, that's how it be.
Speaker 1:They put together and got that for us.
Speaker 3:Do you feel like? I don't know, from the outside looking, and probably based off of movies, a lot of the times when people have kids, I feel like they feel scared, mainly because they feel like they have to give up a version of themselves that they will never get back right. Do you see yourself like? How do you stay focused? How did you stay and how are you still staying focused on your overall mission without letting like, because, of course, there's compromise, but how do you like, really like not get distracted from your overall vision, because fatherhood is very demanding and running no company.
Speaker 1:I'm always gonna hit everything on the nail.
Speaker 3:Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1:I miss sometimes and that me showing patience for myself is also demonstrating for my family or for my child that that's how you need to do for yourself, too right? You may not achieve something, but you can't beat yourself up about it. You gotta be gracious to yourself. But I think to not be distracted, I probably aligned. The purpose behind why I'm doing something is to do good for my family and for my child, so they became a motivation, not a distraction.
Speaker 3:Okay, you know what I'm saying Family first period.
Speaker 1:Yeah period. Yeah, they just became a motivation at the end of the day.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I gotta turn to them, you know.
Speaker 3:Okay, let me answer one of these questions and then we're gonna finish up.
Speaker 1:Yeah, did we get through.
Speaker 3:Why is it important to even cherish family relationships?
Speaker 1:That's a good question, because sometimes some family members may seem like a burden or may seem like a problem, right?
Speaker 3:Because a lot of the times in my case, when I feel like I wanna like, if I'm speaking to say aunt or something, and we get into it, I try to go out my way to be the bigger person and say sorry. I really wanna like get past this, because I understand that it's just a little Just a moment.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just a little moment in time and life is bigger than this, but I've witnessed family members not speak to each other for years, which is like all you have to do is say, hi, you know Everybody going through something.
Speaker 1:Everybody's going through something and a lot of us need hugs and we don't know how to ask for them. We don't know how to create a space where it's safe for somebody to give us one. And I think that for the most part and I have to tell myself this how many people are really intentionally trying to mess up my day? How many people are really waking up, focused, going I'm gonna beep Kenton's Day up today, like I like right, but then I'll get outside, I'll get into arguing with this person, I'll get into it with this person maybe, or whatever this heavy discussion. I don't think they woke up saying I want to mess this person's day up.
Speaker 1:Everybody's going through stuff. I think, when we have some patience, if you could show it this is what I mean like you may be tasked with a particular thing because you can do it, that you may have to show what grace looks like for somebody else to learn it, because you know what it is and you can appreciate it and the people that you see it in, like your dad, and so you, just for me. I try to remind myself that people are not intending to hurt me and whatever I can offer them. I just try and then if I get tired, I get tired, then I just stop. But I try not to harbor or hold any negative feelings inside of me because it's gonna take a toll on me, so I try not to do that. I don't know if I answered the question.
Speaker 3:No, it's easier said than done. Now you did answer the question. It's more so like how much do you want to develop yourself If you want to do the work to get out a certain certain traumatic experiences that person may have caused for you, if you want to do the work to unlearn that and have more grace? You know?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I really do identify. Whatever my goal is, whatever my purpose is, like, what am I trying to do? And then I work to that and I don't judge whatever else is going on. Sometimes I'll succeed, sometimes I don't, which is fine. But the analogy I was gonna bring up is like if you're living in an apartment or you live in a house by yourself, that first week might feel good. Second week you're like, yeah, this is chill, y'all it's dope. I could invite anybody over every time I want to, and then there's nobody else, and then there's nobody to invite. And then it's like a month and no one has visited you. No one has come to check on you. Why did he know my life? Yeah, dude, it's not.
Speaker 1:But hey, I think that, honestly, a lot of people watching that's their life. It's a lot of people. The people who spend time on Instagram, people who spend time there, is because there's no one else in real life there. That's why you can spend so much time there, and if they are, then they're distant. They're also spending that time on the social media. But you've been in your space. No one's visiting you.
Speaker 1:You may have to go and be the thing that you want for yourself right. Okay, no one's visiting me. Well, I should go visit some people. I should go and reach out to my family, I should go and spend some time and make some jokes, and then maybe that makes people understand that that's what I'm looking for kind of thing, if I then harness what it is that I'm looking to get. But that's why I think it's important, because you could turn around and be by yourself and realize that there might be a bounty of family members out there, but you haven't engaged any of them, kind of waiting for them to engage you in a sense. So I could be guilty of that too. So now I try to be more engaging, because why not? You know what I mean. Family is important. You don't have to be buddy buddy with every single person, but you should try to find some connections there. It's your blood, it's like you know what I'm saying. That's where you should feel some love too. So you might have to give something to get something.
Speaker 3:There's a song that says you have to keep. You should keep your siblings close because they're your link to your future and your past.
Speaker 1:I've never heard this song.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's called Wear a Sunscreen.
Speaker 1:Oh, who sings?
Speaker 3:this? I don't know, it's not anybody big.
Speaker 1:It's not that we think that you're not a good artist, no no. You on the rise, you on the rise.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that song has a bunch of views like millions and millions. But yeah, it's just an interesting thought, you know, because you never know when you're gonna need them or when they'll need you.
Speaker 1:So yeah, speaking of, I have one family member I'd love to invite up.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, we already discussed it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, oh, okay.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's happening. Oh, okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's happening. No, for sure, all right. Yeah, do you find it? Nowadays, especially with technology, tablets, how do you stay present with your family when you are around them?
Speaker 1:It could be around them. I play video games.
Speaker 3:But that's the opposite.
Speaker 1:Do you want me to interrupt the tablet time? Is what you're saying? How do I interrupt tablet time? Well, to interrupt technology and tablet time, I say put the tablet down, put the tablet away, see, and there's a response. She got her heart dropped, but I feel like the tablet is an extension of just my presence and my information and my knowledge, so the intent is to be used for that. I can't answer the question. Go Google it, see what it says to you.
Speaker 3:It's not more so a distraction.
Speaker 1:It's like it's just a tool. Just a tool, and that's the way I presented it. That's why I introduced it. That's the way I use it, so it's just a tool.
Speaker 3:That's good.
Speaker 1:It doesn't answer any. I still scrutinize whatever I read or whatever I see, so I would expect that same kind of energy. So, it's not really a distraction.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah. Because, that's how you presented it to each other. I like that Because some people use it to disinherit child, like I don't want to be bothered, I don't want to be bothered Take your tablet and go step by step.
Speaker 1:No, no, not at all, not at all. When we get to the table, it's like no, if we're all sitting at the table, we should be talking to each other.
Speaker 3:You don't force it, because what if they're, like it's so into the tablet, like I don't want to talk?
Speaker 1:to you. That's because we haven't, that's because the adults haven't been talking.
Speaker 3:Oh OK.
Speaker 1:That's why. It's because the adults have been on phones doing that at the dinner table or whatever and they see it and so they emulate it. But if I sat there and I was having a full conversation with who's at the dinner table, how are they not a part of that conversation? You just got to include them into the conversation. But now it's kind of just normal, Because then I'm not going to be like put the car away, I'm going to start talking to you Now.
Speaker 3:You're a real innovated dad, Because not a lot of dads can do that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was just going to start talking to you, but if I notice that you're distracted from the conversation that I'm going to say hmm, it seems like that the tab is distracting you from being able to have a conversation with the people who are actually sitting here in front of you. Do you not want to have a conversation with us? Make a choice. If you don't, then we don't want to have a conversation with you. Why? I don't think who wants to get dismissed from the dinner table.
Speaker 3:You're a good dad man, You're really doing it. You think so. Yeah, you're really doing it.
Speaker 1:Don't tell them that I paid you to say that. Why don't you tell them, ok, it wasn't a lot?
Speaker 3:It was enough, it wasn't a lot. Is there any last things you want to touch on before you wrap up?
Speaker 1:I just want to. I'm thankful for the moment to sit down on your couch and chit chat with you today. It was a pleasure being a guest. I do want to bring up my inspiration because she's important. Now she's distracted.
Speaker 3:What was your inspiration, aw, baby girl.
Speaker 1:Hey, cadence, come say hi.
Speaker 3:KK. It's your time to shine, girl. You've been waiting for this moment.
Speaker 1:Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't be hitting stuff.
Speaker 3:Anything you want to say to the people about your dad Got two mics he's great.
Speaker 1:I didn't pay her. What's one place that you think OK? What's one place that you, what do you think I can improve in? What's a place about me as a dad that I can improve in From your perspective? As my nine year old daughter, who eats the food that I give her and sleeps in the room that I provide for her, what do you think I can do? What do you think I can do to be better?
Speaker 3:I'm 10. And you're really not 10.
Speaker 2:You're not 10.
Speaker 1:I'll be serious.
Speaker 2:I'm saying, I'm going to say that maybe if you were just a little more patient, I will work on my patients.
Speaker 1:I work on my patients, but thank you for giving me that feedback. Another wholesome moment brought to you by Mind Over Matter.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm clipping that.
Speaker 1:Wow, we should do that together and what the dance the kids do nowadays.
Speaker 3:Oh, they still do that.
Speaker 1:I don't do that, no more. I don't do that.
Speaker 3:Played out All right. So thank you If you made it to the end of another episode. I appreciate you. Shout out to you. You real, you loyal, appreciate you. You made it to the end of another episode, like really.
Speaker 1:Another one, another one.
Speaker 3:But make sure you tell a friend to tell a friend, to tell a friend's mother, that is, mind over matter.
Speaker 1:Baby he came, but baby, baby, baby baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby love.
Speaker 2:Dance break. Hey, yeah, that's pretty funny.