55. Kimmy Gibbler, Mental Health, and Kindness with Andrea Barber

Sweet cheese! You are NOT going to want to miss this epic episode with Andrea Barber! We dive deep into her book Full Circle and touch on topics like mental health and strategies to care for yourself and others.  We discuss the ins and outs of Kimmy Gibbler and how showing up authentically as yourself is courageous and needed! We also geek out over Tinkerbell and running!

Andrea shares her story, heart, and wisdom around mental health and embracing your inner Kimmy Gibbler. 

She also has a surprise declaration (time frame: TBD) that you will be thrilled to hear!

Andrea is your girl if you need an example of a kind human.  I know you will love listening to what she has to share!

Follow her on Instagram @andreabarber

Listen to her podcast How Rude, Tanneritos and catch up with old friends as she recaps your favorite Full House episodes!

Donate to her favorite charity National Alliance on Mental Health!

ALSO:

Join Team Kind Humans and make 2024 the YEAR OF KINDNESS! I've got you covered for authentic, tangible, engaging community service projects for your kids.  Come learn directly from organizations, children's book authors, and experts doing great things in this world.  Head to teamkindhumans.com/membership and sign up for just $1.

I'm leaving Leaping Letters at my low birthday price of just $19.84 through the end of the year.  Grab your subscription to this interactive digital preschool course and come play through the alphabet with me!

You can also find my children's books, Pat and the Great Penguin Race, and Waddle I Do? Kindness Activity Guide on Amazon for those last-minute gift ideas!

Start your KindSchooling journey today! Head to www.teamkindhumans.com or follow me on Instagram @katie_doughty!

Transcript

Katie Doughty: 0:04

Hello, my friends welcome back to another episode of raising Cain humans. I'm your host, Katie Doty. And I know I say this all the time. But I am so ridiculously excited for you to listen to this episode. It is literally a childhood dream come true that I have the opportunity to sit down and talk for an entire hour with Andrea Barbour. I can't even I can't even. And to add to the excitement of this, Andrea is one of the kindest humans ever. She was so generous with her time and her heart and her story, and willing to sit and chat. And I'm so grateful for that. And I just want everyone to know what an amazingly kind person she is. And at the end of the interview, I felt like such a goober I looked down. My microphone is not plugged in. I forgot to plug in my microphone. Of course, that had to happen on this interview. And she looked at me and she said, it's cool. We could do this again if we need to. So sweet, so kind. So I do apologize, the audio is a little different than what I usually have. However, it's there and the whole conversation is there. So I'm okay with that. Anyways, we dive into mental health and taking care of yourself and anxiety and running and Kimmy Gibbler we get to talk about Kimmy Gibbler and being her authentic self. And I just know this conversation will not disappoint. But where am I Full House fans? Do I have full full house fans out there? I grew up on full house. Literally. I've seen every episode billions of times. I used to record them on a VHS so I could watch them anytime. And yes, so this was a fantastic conversation that I'm absolutely thrilled to share with you. Um, and on the note of kindness and kind humans. I'm curious if anyone out there does a word of the year do you do a word of the year like for the next year? Do you set an intention or kind of a goal or a word you focus on? I'm hoping that we can make kindness, the word of the year for 2024. And I want to do my part in helping you and hoping our world bring more kindness to our communities. So let's do this together. Let's make 2020 for the year of kindness. And I would love to invite you in to Team Chi in humans. If you have a kiddo or you know, a kiddo, about elementary aged that would like to come join team came humans, we'd love to have them. And we get together twice a month. And we talk to nonprofits and children's book authors and experts in the field. We just had a child psych on and we discuss what's going on that people are doing in the world right now that we can help with? What organizations are out there. What are they doing? And How can kids get involved. We just met with babies of homelessness and the kids got to learn all about diaper need in the community, which a lot of adults don't even realize. And now they're pumped and ready to do a diaper drive. And in team kind humans, we always have a community service project that goes with whatever we're talking about that month. And so let me make the year of kindness super easy for you. Come join us in team kind humans. And we will have an entire year of being kind of got it all planned out for you. You can meet amazing people doing really cool things, learn about some interesting things and then do a community service project every month that I can guarantee is easy to do from where you are. So wherever you are in the world, you can do these projects along with us. So please come join us team can humans.com/membership and you can learn more. You can also sign up for just $1 to try the first month out and see if you like it and come join us but I hope to see you at our next call in January. Also Are you looking for a last minute gift? I have two children's books out on Amazon Pat and the great penguin race is a story about a clumsy penguin who all of his friends are very formal, and he slides on his belly and he's a little driven. My son used to say driven instead of different that is available as well as another children's book that is an activity guide. It's called wattle, I do kindness activity guide and it goes with Pat A penguin and it has different community service projects and kindness activities that the kids can do. It's built to be colored on cut out and used wholeheartedly. Those are both on Amazon if you need a last minute gift, or you want to stock your own shelves. Also, if you have a preschooler in your life, I am leaving leaping letters at my birthday price that I set in November at 1984. And I'm gonna leave it at that for the rest of the year. So if you want to grab a subscription to leaping letters, which is my digital preschool course, where we play through the alphabet, we build character, we do art projects, and playdough letter writing and learning our letters, lots of fun activities and games that are all interactive and keep your kiddo moving and grooving. That will be available through the end of the year. And then the price will go up January 1, back to its original $97. But it is jam packed with so many interactive videos, activities and resources for your preschooler to play and be kind. So you can head over to Tim Kenny humans.com/sleeping letters to snag your subscription. Or if you want to gift it to somebody that would be an amazing gift as well. All right. No more talking for me, because it's time for you to hear from Andrea. This is happening. I'm so excited for you to hear this. So without further ado, please welcome Andrea. There it is. There it is worse. Yeah, I can't believe this is happening right now. Andrea Barber, thank you for coming on the podcast today to talk all about your amazing book. And of course, full house. So welcome.

Andrea Barber: 6:41

Oh, thanks. I'm thrilled to be here. I'm so excited to meet you. Finally, well, not in person, but at least I can see your face and talk to you. So I've been looking forward to this. So thank you for having me. Yeah, of course,

Katie Doughty: 6:52

anytime you could be a recurring guest. I do. You're welcome. Anytime. Oh, awesome. Thank you. Let's dive in. So I'm going to start with full house because that is my connection to you. And to say that I love Full House is like, there's not a big enough word to share with full house and you specifically as a human, I just love what you're doing. I think you're one of the kindest, warmest people and you talk about in your book, you're like, I'm a terrible celebrity.

Unknown: 7:24

I really am. Yes, I still feel that I've been that way my whole life. I will never be a professional celebrity. I'm just me. I'm just Andrea.

Katie Doughty: 7:32

I think that gives everyone else permission to be just me. And I love that it makes it feel more authentic and more real and more approachable. And I think more people should be terrible celebrity.

Unknown: 7:46

Yeah, you know what? I never thought of it that way. But yeah, no, that's a great lesson and just embrace who you are. And instead of like, for a long time I was especially coming back into the business. I know, you said you wanted to start with full house, but it was okay, let's just go ahead real quick. Because I do have a point, it might take me a while to get there. But no, I left the business for 20 years after full house, I stopped, I was like, I'm done. I'm retired. I'm going to do other things now. But then I came back for Fuller House 20 years later. And I was really self conscious about not knowing how to be a celebrity because as a kid, in being a child actor in the 80s and 90s, there were no red carpets, there was no branding of yourself. There was no social media, it was a totally different world. So then when I was thrust back into it in 2015 2016, I was like, this is a whole different world. And I felt really bad about myself, because I'm like, I don't know how to style myself. I don't know, like anything about publicists. I don't know anything about red carpets. They're terrifying. But that's a great lesson about like, no, just embrace your faults and your flaws and make them something positive. Yeah. And so that's what I'm not okay, I'm a terrible celebrity. You know, I'm terrible at all of the publicity part of this. But I'm a really real person that I think people can relate to. So that's the spin. That's the positivity. I think you just helped me figure that out right now. So thank you. This is like, my gosh, five minutes into this, and I'm already experiencing mind blowing therapy.

Katie Doughty: 9:14

Then I can feel that for you. Because I really do believe it. I'm not just saying that I feel like that. There's often this image that comes across Instagram and social media, and everyone puts their best stuff out there. And so yeah, it's overwhelming. And I think about now I mean, my daughter and my oldest is 10 and just how to navigate that. But then like, we watched some of your YouTube channel and watching some of your things and like, you show who you are, you're not darling yourself up and doing this perfect thing. Yeah, you're like, I'm in my garage cleaning it out. It's a mess. Let's go Yeah, that's right. Like you're just being who you are. And that's what I want. want my kids to see and feel from the people that they look up to? Oh, that's great that oh,

Unknown: 10:06

well, thanks. Yeah, the vlog my YouTube vlog was just meant to be sort of a passion project. I don't, I don't really do it anymore. I haven't done it in years. I just wanted to capture this time period of my life. But you, ya know, I think people love getting that look into, you know, behind the scenes or, you know, behind the scenes of what you see on Instagram, and which is a highlight reel. Like you're absolutely right about that people. It's very curated. People just show what they want to show. And it's like, no, let's just get real. It's like, Let's drop the pretenses drop the mask, just let's be real. Yeah. And keep it

Katie Doughty: 10:41

real. Yes. And I think that's so important. So thank you for leading the way with that and kind of modeling for people what that might look like. And speaking of behind the scenes, okay, you answered a 30 plus year question. Like you're behind the scenes.

Unknown: 10:57

What did I answer? Ooh, I'm

Katie Doughty: 10:58

curious. You were walking through the set, like just seeing the set, like behind the scenes of the set was amazing. That's cool. And you come to the stairs, like from the bedrooms upstairs, and you come to the stairs where you can go left and go downstairs. Right? And then you're like, I think this is how you get to

Unknown: 11:16

the kitchen. Uh huh. And I have never been

Katie Doughty: 11:19

able to figure out where that kitchen stairs go. And I was like, that goes

Unknown: 11:27

lightbulb moment. I see. And that's just a theory. Like, I don't actually know that. That's just what I assume. Yeah, from trying to visualize the house because the house could not possibly exist in San Francisco, like, I've been in the real house, it looks nothing like that. And yeah, I'm like, There's no architectural plans of this, this Full House anywhere. So I don't think it's possible to exist. But so in my mind, that's what happens if you're going down the bedroom, going down the hallway, on the second floor, you turn right to go to the to the downstairs to the kitchen, you turn left to go downstairs to the living room. That's how it lives in my brain. So that's a better plan, or better idea, let me know. But

Katie Doughty: 12:06

yeah, I'm curious other people's thoughts on that. But that's how it lives in my brain now to because that makes the most sense to me. I just never knew like, where are they going? And how are they getting there? I thought maybe it like goes into Danny's room. I don't know. And

Unknown: 12:18

we never go right. You notice we always walk left ever. And I think that was just a design because that's where the opening is, we would actually walk out into our craft service area. So of course we go left because that's where the food is. And if we were to turn right, I think it's just a lot of like, tools and wood and lumber and hardware. So that's why we always go left.

Katie Doughty: 12:40

You know, my gosh. Well, it really settled something for me, so thank you for that. Hi, missy.

Unknown: 12:47

You're welcome. I'm here to serve. I'm happy that I I'm answering the hard questions. You.

Katie Doughty: 12:53

Were starting out with the really tough questions here. Where did the stairs go? Which, Okay, where did the stairs go? Then in the garage? I know if you go to the left, they go to the kitchen. But then there's a set that goes to the right way. Oh, those go?

Unknown: 13:08

I have no idea. Well, the courage morphs like Okay, now that I'm doing this, rewatch podcast with Jody sweeten. There's a lot of questions that come up and we don't have answers for any of it. But the garage morphs from a garage to Joey's bedroom, and then it goes back to a garage for one episode. And then it's Joey's bedroom and then it becomes a recording studio. For for Jesse. So it morphs several times. So who knows Danny has endless amounts of cash to renovate this downstairs basement.

Katie Doughty: 13:39

Yeah. And time just quickly, week to week, whatever you want it to be. It's like the magical garage. I love it. Yep,

Unknown: 13:45

yep, it that's sitcom land. You can't think too hard. Don't pull that thread or it won't make sense. You just gotta go with it.

Katie Doughty: 13:53

I love it. I love it. Okay, well, let's dive in a little bit to Full House because I don't know if you know this, but I was a tanner. I lived in that house. And you you maybe you saw me but they kind of cut some of my lines. So I don't Yeah, I sorry, that never made it to the air. I didn't write in the air. But I truly felt like I was a teenager growing up and I I waited for those eight o'clock Friday nights than Tuesdays. But like those were my times to shine. And I remember like that 822 mark and the music would play the violins right. And I could feel in my bones like, Oh, I'm gonna grow as a person right now. Like these are the life lessons. Yeah. That he's speaking to me. Danny Tanner is giving his dad talk to me and I feel like not a ton of shows had that quality of really kind of talking about what's going on in the family. And I'm curious your thoughts on these life lessons from full house? Do you feel like they are holding up 30 years late? her. And are there any that you're like this one stuck out to me? Oh,

Unknown: 15:05

well, yeah, I mean, I'll admit that I have until I started doing the podcast with Jody, I had only seen a handful of Full House episodes because we were. And same for Jodi Jodi's never until the podcast, she had never seen any of the episodes, because we were living it. We were busy, we were working full time as kids. We were, we were taping the show on Friday nights, so we weren't home watching it like the rest of you were. And then we were just like, okay, that it was, we just had no desire to to watch it again, because we had spent five or six hours taping it on Friday nights. So now 36 years later, you know, as a 40, something woman watching this again, having teenagers, it's wild, it's wild rewatching it again, and the show holds up. I mean, we've only gotten through, we're not even through all of season one yet. We've got one or two more episodes to go. So I'll say this as only having watched most of season one. But those lessons do hold up. And I find myself tearing up, when Dan when the violence start playing. And Danny is like, he's just he gets down to the level of the girls and is talking to them. And it always ends in a hug. And it seems so cheesy. But if if you listen to it, you're like, Yeah, you know what? Parents don't talk to their kids like this anymore. I mean, not with regularity, because now everybody's on their phones, everybody's overscheduled kids are involved in 8 million activities. And I'm making some broad generalizations here, obviously. But it's a different world that we're living in. And I want to get back to what life was like in 1987 and 88, you know, where like, there aren't, there's not as much, not as much technological distractions and families alike. They sat together, and they ate dinner together. And they talked to each other and made eye contact. They aren't just texting each other from different rooms. It makes a huge difference. And yeah, these life lessons are great. The one that stands out the most for me is from the pilot is from the very first episode, where DJ is having a breakdown in the kitchen. She's you know, she's sad that her mom died, grandma left, these two other guys moved in, everything has changed. And now she has to share a room with her little sister. And she's just she's mad, and she's acting out. And Danny talks to her in the kitchen. And he's just like, I'm, I miss mom, too. And I don't have all the answers. But we're a family. And we're here for each other. And we will always be here for you anytime you're having emotions or feelings. And so let's talk it out. Let's hug it out. It just blew me away that I was like, Wow, this was 19. This was 1987. Yeah, when this show, you know, when this when this show started airing and the fact that it it still holds up. And these lessons still hold true. And it's, it's a show. I know Johnston? I'll quote John Stamos because he said that the central character of Full House is love. No, it's not Michelle, it's not Jesse. It's not DJ, it's not, you know, the central character is love. And that's why I think people resonated so much with the show, because regardless of your circumstances, if you had a hard home life, or a healthy home life, you could sit down on Friday nights with or without your family. And watch these shows and feel like you were part of the tanner family, like you said, like you are you are a part of the tanner family. And we still feel that the cast, we still feel that 36 years later we we feel connected to our fans, we get emotional when fans share stories with us about how much the show means to them. It's so much more than a job for me. And I think I speak for the whole cast when I say that it's more than a job. It's a second family for us. And you what you see on the screen. I mean, yes, we're acting, we're playing characters, we're reciting lines. But that bond and that connection, that's all real. Like, that's real in most shows, you know, they they film for a season or two, you know, you don't get you don't get eight seasons anymore with streaming. But you shoot for a few seasons. And then you go your separate ways. And you talk maybe once a year, but that was never the case with full house we have always kept in contact. Sometimes we only see each other, you know, a couple of times a year because everybody's kind of spread out around the country. But we're always in contact through texts, or FaceTime, or phone calls. And just and especially since Bob Saget passed away, like even more so we've understood the importance of just reach out when you're thinking of somebody just reach out and say, You know what, I'm thinking of you today and I missed you. And I love you. And that's how Bob ended every single text. I love you. You know I love you. And it's when he passed Sorry, I'm really going off on a tangent. No, I love when he passed. I was so devastated and So grief stricken. But I felt this piece because there's no doubt in my mind how he felt about me. He loved me. And I know that he knows that I love him. And so I feel a sense of peace knowing, knowing there's nothing, there's nothing left on the table. There's nothing unresolved. There's nothing I'm not thinking, Oh, I wish I had told him this. No, we set it all. He's he set it all. And we set it all to him. And so there's a deep grat gratification for that.

Katie Doughty: 20:31

Yeah, I can't even remember your original question. Gosh, well, now I've already

Unknown: 20:35

been off on a tangent and get I'm like, so emotional. It's like the holidays. I know, I get so emotional talking about them. Because they mean so much to me. And it's so emotional watching the show. For the first time, essentially, you know, and seeing seeing everyone, you know, 36 years ago, and just remembering those times and knowing knowing that those bonds stayed intact for 36 years, is one of the things I'll be most grateful for in my entire life.

Katie Doughty: 21:06

Oh my gosh, that's just beautiful. And I love I want to go back to how Bob was calling him Bob now. With and with a love you, I feel like 36 years later, he was still giving dad talks. He was still loving you the way he did on the show. And what a beautiful reminder to just like, say it, reach out and say it like you can assume they know but just remind them and let them know that hey, I'm thinking about you. Take it leave everything out on the table. There are no there's no question in your mind. I just Oh, that gives me goosebumps.

Unknown: 21:45

Yeah, it was. It's such a it's such a good lesson because we get so caught up in the in the day to day minutia of life and the busyness and you forget that. You know, when we're gone. What do you want people to remember you for and Bob for all of his accomplishments, his huge successes in his professional life. That's what we remember the most about him is his heart. And how much he loved the people in his life. And what a beautiful legacy to leave behind so

Katie Doughty: 22:17

And wow, like that. Those are goals right aspiration to just be like, That's what I want to be remembered for. Yeah, I've done all these really cool things, but you knew you were loved. Good. I did my job. That's it. Yeah. Oh, I love it so

Unknown: 22:32

much. Yeah, he's, yeah. I feel

Katie Doughty: 22:36

like your authenticity of your relationships shine through on the screen. Like you can feel that and it almost leaves us settled feeling in my heart knowing that those were real relationships. Right? It's it makes it feel more real and more authentic and more believable. Even though it's a sitcom. Right? Yeah, that that love is true. And something I'm going through now, which is the most bizarre feeling is we're also we're following along with you. So I'm watching each episode with my kiddos. Oh, that's so great. Oh, we're a few behind. We just finished the big three. Oh, but Oh, yeah. We're watching them and then pulling out the life lesson because I'm curious. I want to know, do these lessons hold up because I feel so passionate about them? And I feel like they helped shaped who I am. And so do they hold up for my children 30 years later, so we're pulling them out. But watching the show as a mother now, as opposed to a kid like, oh my gosh, my heart? Yeah, we were speaking about when DJs like, my mom died, my grandma left. And now these two guys are living in my home. And I have to share a room and I'm like, DJ, just want to wrap you up? I didn't really think about that as a kid. Like, yeah, that'd be terrible to share a room. Right? Right. Right.

Unknown: 23:57

That's all you're thinking about? Is it through a kid lens? Yeah. And now,

Katie Doughty: 24:01

my mom lens. I'm like, these girls lost their mother and now they have to make their own Thanksgiving. Who's gonna cook for them? Right? Like it's just a different perspective. And viewing the show differently, but we've been having the best time because now even my seven year old be like Mom, what's the lesson in this? I'm like, What do you think the lesson is about something out and my daughter was really connecting to one where she's like, Mom, that is true. I think there was one that said even though we didn't solve anything just talking about it helps. That was one of the lessons. I love that

Unknown: 24:35

lesson. You know, sometimes you don't have all the answers. Yes, but that doesn't mean you don't talk about it. You still talk about it. There's there's such value and feeling heard. You know, mom and dad don't always have the answers, but they will always listen to you and validate your feelings. Huge lesson right? They're

Katie Doughty: 24:54

huge and yet so simply put on the screen right like they just had this lovely commerce addition, and I just love the way that DJ was like, we didn't solve anything, but I feel better. And my daughter immediately said, that's true. Just talking about it helps. I'm like, yes. So just come and chat with me anytime you need to talk about something. Even if I don't have the answer, like we can just talk about it. So I just feel like these lessons are holding up and I I'm over the moon excited that I get to go through this process again, with them. Side by side and talking about it. It's just, I'm like, do you guys want to watch full house? And they're like, yes. Oh, exciting,

Unknown: 25:35

that I'm so I'm so jealous because I've I have teenagers now I've have a 16 year old and a 19 year old. And I wish I had sat them down when they were younger when they were under 10. I mean, I guess I could force them to now but I don't, I don't think it would have the same effect. And they were they've never been really interested in my career. They're always embarrassed when they saw Kimmy Gibbler on the screen. Because it's true. I looked ridiculous in a lot of those outfits. But I wish I had gotten past that and made them sit down and watch it with me when they were younger. Because you're right, that it's so satisfying to watch this show as an adult, a show that you grew up with as a kid. And now to rewatch it again, as an adult as a mom. It's so impactful. It hits so differently. As a kid, you're just like, oh, this is a silly show. And it's funny, and Uncle Jesse is cute. And Michelle is adorable. And they have lots of animals and funny, you know, funny shenanigans going on. But it just it hits a lot differently as a parent. It's so deep.

Katie Doughty: 26:34

And maybe maybe in the future if your kids choose to have children, they'll watch it with their children, and it will continue to go.

Unknown: 26:42

That's what I'll do it when I have grandchildren which God willing will not be anytime soon. I will watch it with my grandchildren that will be that's that's my new life goal.

Katie Doughty: 26:52

There you go.

Unknown: 26:53

Watch it with the grandkids. Lindsey Graham, a gambler on the screen. And they'll probably be they'll probably get embarrassed to I'll have to catch them when they're younger. Like what? What age do Kids start getting embarrassed is like a tween hood like Alawite 13. Yeah, I'm gonna have to catch them when they're really young before they get embarrassed. Yes. Where am I? Gibbler here,

Katie Doughty: 27:15

where am I? Gambler? Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. Okay, well, let's dive into Kimmy because,

Unknown: 27:24

like, as a kid, obviously.

Katie Doughty: 27:26

I thought Kimmy was weird. Like Kimmy is a goofball. She says ridiculous stuff. She wears funny clothes. Like, that's how I viewed it. And now it's a mom. I'm like, Camilla. You are bold and confident and comfortable in your own skin. Like, yes, I want that for my child. I want my child to have a Kimmy Gibbler in her life, but from a game perspective. Yeah, it's different. So can you speak a little bit to your character of Kimmy Gibbler? And kind of what she means to you?

Unknown: 27:58

Of course, yeah, I will growing up on full house. I never appreciated Kimmy Gibbler I knew my role. And I was like, Okay, I'm the comic relief. They dress me silly for the laughs I'm the butt of the jokes. You know, the tanners are always like Kimmy Gibbler. Go home, you know. And it was never it was surface level. For me. I was just like, This is just This is my role. This is what I'm here to do. Is it embarrassing? Yes. Because as a teenager, everything's embarrassing. Yeah, it was it was very surface level as a kid. And it wasn't until decades later, I guess. When social media have started coming around, when fans were able to like, DM me or respond on Twitter or Yeah, DM on Instagram, that the stories started coming out of people who are my age now but who grew up on the show, and felt like outcasts at school or they just felt different. You know, they felt weird, or they felt different, but they felt bad about it. Yeah. And they'll tell me the stories about how they looked up to give me Kimmy Gibbler as a role model. And that blew me away the first time I read it, and I was like, okay, that's, that's amazing. But that's an one off, but then another fan would, would DM me and tell me the same story. And then I would meet fans out and about and they would tell me these stories, and it started to click and I was like Kimmy Gibbler is a role model. And I'm like, yes, it's because she was so confident about that. And that is something that was missing in my life as a teenager. I played a confident character, but I didn't feel confident in my own life. You know, I was insecure about everything. And I think that's typical for teenagers to feel very insecure about. Everything's you shouldn't even feel insecure about but whatever. Whatever is different about you. That's the thing you either get made fun of for or the thing that you feel bad about. And Kimmy didn't care. She was just like, I'm gonna be me. You know, she never changed her ways, no matter How many people made fun of her no matter how many times the tanners told her to go home, she just owned it. And she loved she had so much self love. And I was like, You know what? Kimmy color is a great role model. Like for all the zaniness and the weirdness, you know, she is a great role model at the core. And suddenly, I embraced this character, I was just like this, this is I'm so proud now that I got to play this character as a kid, and then come back, you know, 30 years later and play the character again, as a grown up who was the similar in that she was still, you know, quirky. But she was grown up and had lots of, you know, still lots of love for herself and love for everybody that was around her. It's, it's, it was such a satisfying experience that I didn't get as a teenager, but I do get now. And it's sometimes it takes that it takes time and sometimes decades to gain that perspective. I assume for the fans that reached out to me and told me those things, same thing for them, they didn't kind of put it all together at at age 15. But then when you're in your 30s, and approaching 40, you're just like, You know what I have? I have an adult perspective now and a deeper appreciation. And that's how I feel I have such a deep appreciation for this character, just letting people know that it's okay to be weird. It's okay to be different. And in fact, that is that is your superpower. What makes you different, is what makes you strong and bold and unique. And so you should embrace that. Don't hide it. You know, don't hide it. Don't shirk, shirk away in the corner and hide yourself. Just own it and love it. And people will respond to that if you're confident about yourself. People aren't going to people aren't going to look down at you and be like, Oh, no, you're you know, like that. That confidence begets confidence. And so the more confident you are, the more people around you will respect that and maybe be more competent themselves in in their own quirkiness. Yeah, I don't know if I worded that very well. But yeah, I just have a great appreciation for this character, which sounds weird, because you're right. On the surface level, it's a sitcom. It's very cheesy Kimmy. Gibbler is ridiculous. You know, and she is, she's just she's very rude at times, a lot of times, and I heard a lot from fans. You know, that there's like, oh, Kimmy is like that. I can't, I can't find the words but they, they would just put her down. They're just like, you know, Kimmy is weird. Kimmy is, you know, I hate that character. She's so rude. And she's so and I kind of internalize that a little bit as as a teenager, knowing it's not me. It's a character, but it still doesn't feel good when people are just like, they would recognize me out, you know, at the grocery store and be like, Oh, my God, you were awful. You You were so weird. You were so rude. And I'm like, it wasn't me. It was gone. Gibbler Yeah. So that was a little strange. But yeah, now I just I'm like, Yeah, you know what, she was a rude teenager. But she grew into a fabulous, creative adult with a lot of love to give. And I just, I will champion this character for the rest of my life, because I think she is fabulous.

Katie Doughty: 33:06

Oh, my gosh, and she is fabulous. And she's fiercely loyal to her friends. And she will be there for you and love and do anything for the people that she loves. And I think that's such a valuable characteristic in her. And I am curious about you say like fans would say, Oh, you were terrible. And how did you did you ever catch on like, as a young kid, because even even the adults in the show, the characters in the show are not necessarily nice to Kimmy. Gibbler this 10 year old girl, did you catch on to that as a young actress? Or were you just like, This is the show? This is how it goes? Like did that get internalized?

Unknown: 33:50

That's a great question. And that's, that's something I'm, I'm really, maybe still kind of unpacking. And I'm, I'm really eager to get to those later seasons when? A lot of that. Yeah, that. I don't know. vitriol is a harsh word. But yeah, a lot of those nasty comments from the adults. I'm eager to get to those episodes and to unpack that on on my podcast because, yeah, sometimes the tanners weren't very nice. The adults weren't very nice to Kimmy Gibbler. And I and it didn't really hit me until I had my own kids. And they started inviting their friends over to my house and I thought I would never treat my friends kids that way. Even if they were annoying. I would never tell them that to their face. I would never tell them go home. You know, I would never say some of these things to them. Why would you want to make a kid feel that way? So did I internalize it and I think I think as a teenager, I did a really good job of separating the character from me. So you know when John Stamos is telling me go home, you know, go home, Kimmy Gibbler I didn't really I'm like, Okay, we're acting so John doesn't really feel that way about me. But yeah, I'm wondering if on some deep level, it can't feel good to be known as the hated character. And I think a small part of me, maybe more than small, maybe it will, or maybe like a half of me wishes wished at the time that I could get to play a cool character like DJ, who got to wear the cute outfits, and she had, you know, the cute boyfriend. And a part of me wished for that, you know, I'm like, Oh, I wish I could be like the pretty one and the cute one and the one that everybody looks up to, but that that wasn't my role. You know, my role was to be the comic relief. But yeah, as a teenager, I a small part of me, a more than small part of me wished that I could just be looked up to Yeah, as a kid to be that kind of character. And instead, I got people saying, Do your feet really stink? Oh my god, you're so annoying. That was a comment. Oh, my God, you're so annoying. I'm like, and I like just, I don't feel that way now, like, people, people. I mean, I think people don't say that now. Because grown up Kimmy Gibbler was not nearly as annoying as Kid Kimmy Gibbler. So people are a lot nicer now. But as a teenager, yeah, that's a lot to put on a teenager to kind of navigate that in my own mind. So I don't have acute memories of being disturbed by all of this. But my memory has been jogged by watching these earlier episodes of full house. So I think when we get to those, those seasons, and those episodes where the tanners are mean to Kimmy Gibbler I'm like, I'm looking forward to what? What jogs my memory when I watched those? Very curious what comes up? So we'll see. Oh, my

Katie Doughty: 36:43

gosh, I can't wait. That's

Unknown: 36:44

what I remember. At this point. That's what I remember.

Katie Doughty: 36:47

Yeah. Oh, I can't wait to hear what you come up with. And what yeah, what comes up for you? What comes out for you? And then yeah, the conversation around that. And I'm curious if you think like, if Full House aired today, and it seemed capacity, do you think those things would be changed? Do you think they'd still be rude to Kimmy Gibbler? Or do you think writing has changed, as it comes have changed, that maybe that character wouldn't be the same?

Unknown: 37:13

Oh, that's a really good question. I think the show would be a little different, because there's some things that that didn't hold up. You know, there's some jokes that are off color that that would not be written today, because we're a different society now. And we know what's acceptable to say and what's not. But as far as the treatment of Kimmy Gibbler, that's a great question, because shows still do have that comic relief character. I'm trying to think of current examples, and I can't really I don't watch a lot of current TV. So I'm thinking of like friends and like the Lisa Kudrow character how she was kind of wacky and, but they were never rude to her. They were just like, okay, that's, that's she's just Phoebe. She's kooky, and she's out there. But they weren't ever mean to her. So, yeah, I think the show would be, I think the show would be written, I think it would be softer, like it would be, they would be softer towards Kimmy Gibbler. Like, she'd still be wacky and crazy, but I think it would be, it would be written differently. Like, there's one early episode of Full House, where Jesse's trying to figure out how to like diaper the baby or get the baby to stop crying, and he just tells her to shut up, right? And I'm like, you can't tell a baby to shut up. And I get it. They were trying to convey that just Jesse's very inexperienced. With infants. I understand that. But I think there's a more tactful way to write it without yelling Shut up to write and be in a crib. So yeah, I think I think if Full House aired for the first time today, I think it would hold up I think people would respond to it in the exact same way. But yeah, I think it would be written just a little bit differently with just a softer, a softer tone. Yeah, yeah. I also don't think it would get eight seasons like that. Unfortunately, the landscape has just changed and you don't get those network sitcoms for eight 910 seasons anymore. Like the the the executives in charge, the studios just don't give shows time to breathe and to develop those characters. It's my number one complaint about watching TV now is as soon as you get invested in a show and invested in these characters, like shows canceled, move on, let's bring new content and and it's like no, like, I want to be invested. I want I want to feel something for these characters. That's why I still have a job today because people related to the full House characters and they're still emotionally invested in our characters. Yeah. I don't know if you're gonna get that in 30 years with the shows that are being released today because there's no time. They don't give the show's time to grow and breathe and develop.

Katie Doughty: 39:49

Exactly. And I feel like our society is just speeding up. And we want more and more and more faster, faster, faster, and like growing up watching full house you got one episode one Last week, if you missed it, you missed it. And everybody would be talking about it the next day and you missed it. And that doesn't happen anymore. And I think you've been just season, but you're not watching it while others are watching it. So you don't really talk to them about it. So it's not like this cultural or societal thing that's happening anymore. It's like in pockets. And so I think that's where the span and the seasons are not getting, the length that we used to have, and the growth and the breathing room. Because we don't consume it the same way. And it's, I feel like it's a loss. Like, I just feel like it's a loss, and I missed that aspect of television. And I've even tried, and it's too hard. It's like, it's too hard nowadays, but I even tried to tell the kids okay, we're gonna watch one a week, and then you have to wait. And once we get caught up, I think on the podcast, I'm gonna try to keep it like, Okay, if there's no podcast episode out, we're not watching the episode and podcast, you know, like, I love it. That 90 style of watching television, and they just didn't understand. I was like, you don't even know, you know what it's like to not have a show? Yeah. So it's just different. The way that shows are airing now. And I think you're right about the lifespan of them. They're not going to be these iconic characters that everyone remembers from their childhood.

Unknown: 41:20

Yeah, yeah, it's in that that was a selling point for Netflix, when Fuller House premiered. Because we were the we were, I believe the first original family. Family Show for for Netflix at Netflix had developed like Netflix until that point had been like movies and things like that. But then they started developing original content. And they were like, Okay, we want to move into the family realm. So you're gonna be the first excuse me, the first family sitcom on Netflix. And so we had like all these press briefings when the show was getting ready to air because we were doing a big push a big press tour. And they were just like, Okay, this is why streaming is great. It's because it's viewer driven. And you can download the entire season in one go. And you can watch it all in one day, you could watch it all in one weekend, or you can space it out, you could do whatever you want. It's it's up to the viewer. And they were like, This is a great this, this we've evolved as a society, this is how television is going to be and it's fantastic. And so we pushed that we put that in the in the early seasons. But I think now so you know, what is it been? Eight 910 years later, it's changing, the landscape is changing, people are kind of pushing back a little bit on that. And since we just had we just finished a couple of strikes, you know, the writers went on strike, and actors went on strike. For these, for a lot of these reasons. Not these reasons. There's a lot of reasons. But yeah, I think streaming has hit its big boom. And now you're starting to see kind of the fallout of that. So I'm very interested to see how the industry changes at this point, and where it's going, and how the executives in charge, what decisions they make going forward. Because they made decisions at the time that worked at the time. And that sounded great. But now we're seeing the after effects of that. It's like, I don't remember shows that came out five years ago, because it only got one or two seasons. And I can't tell you what those shows were about or what those characters meant to me, because I forgot him. Because then you were because the next week and you were pushing out more content, Netflix was pushing out the next best thing because they just wanted subscribers. And I don't mean to talk negatively about Netflix. That's that's all streamers. They just thought streaming is the way to go. And I'm like, there's there's great things about streaming, if I'm like, oh, I want to look up this movie and watch it tonight. That's great. But as far as that delayed gratification, like you said, like watching one a week, it's so much better. It's so much better to be watching a show at the same time as everyone else in the country and then talking about it the next day. And having to wait I know it's hard to wait seven days for the next episode, especially if it ends on a cliffhanger. Not sitcoms, but with like dramas and like these really, you know, intense, intense shows. I know it's hard, but it's so much more satisfying. And I'm a I'm a big fan of waiting. And when my boyfriend I watch shows, we try to space it out as much as you'd like. We want to know what happens. We space it out, maybe not a full week, but we'll at least give it you know, a day, two days, three days, just to kind of savor it and let it percolate in your brain a little bit. So you're you're just thinking about that one episode for a few days instead of instead of just going right into the next episode.

Katie Doughty: 44:31

One I think too. One thing I've really noticed is I literally grew up with the Tanner's because eight seasons, that's eight years of my life where now kids can watch it. You know, they could binge eight seasons in a month like it yeah. And they they're not growling with those characters. And so I was just thinking about like when I was going to introduce this to my daughter. My brain went to like, Wait, she's not ready to watch GIA offer Stephanie cigarettes. or like the kissing at the boy party? Or like, Yeah, but I was aging with the girls as they grew. And so like, it was all age appropriate for me. But if I were to watch it with my daughter, all of it right now, I'm like, Oh, I don't know if we're ready for that. It's just so interesting and how it is. That's,

Unknown: 45:19

that's a great point. That's a great point that yeah, we are a season on network TV used to be 26 episodes, 22 to 26 episodes, we would start shooting in July, we would end in February or March. Yeah. So we grew, the characters grew with the show and our audience grew with us. So yeah, when DJ and Kimmy are having, you know, they have their their first kiss with boys at the spin the bottle party, you're going through this the same thing or either you've just been there, you're about to just be there. So yeah, there's a lot of value in finding characters that you can relate to on TV, I think is very powerful. And watching how characters navigate those common human experiences is also very valuable. And yeah, it's something that's missing. Now I like let's get back to network TV, and 26 episode season all in,

Katie Doughty: 46:13

let's get back to that. All it's just so different. Now. It's just different. But let's dive into your book. Because your book is amazing. It's beautiful. And I know we're just meeting for the first time, but I feel so ridiculously proud of you, Oh,

Unknown: 46:30

you. Because I

Katie Doughty: 46:33

mean, you put your heart on the page, and you let you let people in and you didn't hold back. And that is so difficult to do. And I just I really do feel proud of you

Unknown: 46:46

know so much to me, thank you, I It's one of the things I'm most proud of my book, out of all the things I've done in my life, I'm most proud of that. Not because I think it's a well written book or anything like but but just because like I got to share my story. There's something so cathartic about writing it all down. And you're unpacking a lot of this stuff as you're writing it down. Like writing for me has always been cathartic since I was a little girl. It's always been my thing. You know, I've always been a writer, I went to school, I went to college, and majored in English literature because I'm much I love to read, and I love to write. And so writing for me, it wasn't just I wasn't doing it for the money, I wasn't doing it for the fame, or publicity or anything like that I was doing it for me. And I'm like, if somebody can relate to this great, but I'll be you know, selfishly I'm doing this for me to get my story out. And so I can go back and read it, you know, when I when I'm older, or my kids can read it, and they can read about my life before they were born. And how I came to be the person that I am now and then. And, and a side benefit of all of this was being able to connect with other people who who have dealt with anxiety and depression, and divorce and like, postpartum anxiety, like all of these difficult things that so many people go through, but it's gotten better people talk about it, people are much more open about it now. But that hasn't always been the case. It used to be very taboo, to talk about mental health issues, you know, you were branded, as you know, something's something's wrong with you if you have mental illness, and it's like, well, no, like, everybody's got something if it's not depression, it's something else. So like Kimmy Gibbler, we just embrace the things that we think are flaws, and make something good out of it. So yeah, it was really powerful to share, to write my story, and then to share it with people. And I was so nervous to share that too. I was like, Am I really writing this down? Like, for public consumption? I, it was weird. You know, and I was nervous. The people that know me, and the people that love me, or the people that want to know me, they they get it and they they love it, and they appreciate it. And the critics that don't like it, or they're not reading it for the right reasons. Like I didn't write it to be a best seller. I didn't write it to be this, you know, fantastic novelist or whatever. No, I wrote it for me and everyone else out there that has suffered from anxiety or any of any of the things that I had suffered from as well. So that's, that's, that's what means the most to me. I don't care. I don't care about the people that don't like it. I care about the people that that resonated with the book. Well, that's the audience. Yeah, yeah. Those are my people. Yeah, my people. I Yeah. I love when I love when people share their own stories back to me. It was the aftermath of the book after it had been out in the world. And I shared it. I did the whole press tour for it. The stories that I heard from people was very satisfying to because once you feel that freedom to open up and share your darkest secret, and you realize, oh, you know what? It doesn't need To be a secret, why was I keeping it a secret for so long? Why was I so afraid of people judging me. And once you break down that barrier, and you decide to be open and honest and share your story, you get that back tenfold. And it's just this domino effect of people sharing and being cathartic and relating to one another, and suddenly you don't feel alone anymore. And all those, you know, early, early mornings when I would wake up at, you know, four in the morning and feel this surge of anxiety and throw up and I couldn't get couldn't get a handle on the physical part of my anxiety. And I felt so alone. I don't feel alone anymore. You know, I don't feel alone, I still I still have tired, it doesn't mean I'm cured. Like, I still have anxiety. Just, you know, recently, I went through about a difficult time when I started feeling those things, early morning wake ups and the nervous tummy. And the, you know, the gag reflex is I was like, Okay, this is familiar, this is happening again. But now I have tools to deal with it. Yeah, I've been to therapy, and I feel more confident in my ability to handle those, those, those dips, those hard moments. So, yeah, there's a lot of power in sharing your story. And I think everybody has a book in them. And everybody should write it down. Whether you publish it or not write it down, you know, because everybody's got a good story to tell. Everybody

Katie Doughty: 51:24

has a book in them. That's so true. And I'm curious, how did you know it was time to sit down and write your story? What was the catalyst for that?

Unknown: 51:34

Well, that's all because of Rennie Dyball, who has on? Yeah, Rennie. She is a force. And she's, I'm so proud to call her a friend now. I had always wanted to write a book, but I assumed if I'm going to write a memoir, it's going to be at the end of my life, not not, you know, when I'm How old was I was probably early 40s When, when this all started coming up. But for whatever reason, Reni you know, thought, hey, you know, Andrew, I think Andrew has got a book in her. And so she reached out to to my manager and was like, you know, Xandria ever thought of writing a book. And I was like, Well, yeah, but now. And she's like, Yeah, now's the time. Because, I mean, for marketing purposes, I was on Fuller House at the time. So I had the audience, I had the attention of people. And that was the best time to write a book and market a book, because people were still interested in me. So there is like, there's that side of it. But also, Rennie was just like, why wait, like, it's fresh now. Like, I mean, yeah, I got divorced 10 years ago. And all of that was a long time ago. But now enough time has passed that I have perspective about it, but it's still fresh enough to remember. So now is the time to write that story. And that's what resonated with me. I don't care about the marketing side of it. I don't care about the publicity side of it, but I was just like, Yeah, you know, why am I gonna wait till I'm 80 years old? When my memory may, who knows what's gonna, my memory my memory might go, or, you know, and tomorrow is never promised either. Like, that's the other lesson I've learned in recent years after losing people in my life that I'm very close to, you're never promised tomorrow. So write that book now. And I'm so grateful to Rennie for forgiving me that nudge and she was just the best we collaborated throughout the whole process. And I told her, I was like, I want to write it myself. You know, I have the confidence in myself to do this. But I need some help. Because I've never written a book before, really. So she was very helpful in guiding me through the process of how you write a book proposal, and how you try to pitch your book, you know, she was so helpful with with just how do you do it? Cuz I'm like, I don't know, do I just sit down and just start typing? What do I do? She's like, Well, you got to find your process. But here's my process. So she was like a mentor for me throughout that entire process. And she became a dear friend as a result of that. And she's great and she has a children's book out to be for Belize. Be experimentally though it's such a good book. I wish I wish I had had that book when my kids were little, because it's such a great message about body positivity. So yeah, Randy. Randy is just a wonderful, wonderful person. I'm so grateful that she came into my life and gave me that nudge because without her I might have never written a book who knows so and

Katie Doughty: 54:18

and yes, and shout out to Ronny. I adore her and no unreasonable for her to she's so sweet and so relatable of it. But I'm so grateful that she did reach out to you because had you waited, you're right, your memory might be different. But think about all of the people you're helping now right now in their life going through this reading your experience like Oh, even Andrea barber goes through this like somebody I've looked up to my whole life. It makes it okay, it makes it okay to talk about and I'm curious, I want to ask for some some of your opinions and your advice on the topic of anxiety. At BK. My, like almost my entire extended family has anxiety in some capacity. And so I'm very familiar with it. But I'm curious for from your perspective, what advice do you have for people who want to support those who are feeling this crushing anxiety, like right now. But also need to kind of protect their own boundaries and, and, and their own mental health, like they want to be there, they want to support you, but they're not in a place where they can climb into bed with you right now. Like, how do you support somebody? Or what advice do you have for for somebody who wants to love somebody so hard, but doesn't know what to do?

Unknown: 55:42

Yeah, that's such a good question. And I can answer part of it. Because my boyfriend who I've been with for nine years, I feel weird saying boyfriend because I'm 47 years old, but he's my, he's my, my life partner, my, you know, he's my person, I just call him my person. He's my Michael. And he's just been transformative in supporting me. And, you know, my ex husband wasn't the best person. And that's not a knock on him. But he wasn't the best person to support me through my anxiety, because I don't think he understood it. And he didn't know how to support me. And that just caused a lot of friction. But then Michael came into my life, and he's just so supportive, like, I'm not afraid that he's going to leave me, because I'm anxious. And that, that is huge. So I think just, he's a great listener. So listening is so important. Listening without judgment, listening without solving the problems, because you don't ever solve anxiety. You just learn to live with it. And you learn different tools of how to cope with it so that you remain healthy. And you don't spiral into a dark despair. So listening, acceptance, loving the person, whether they're having a bad day or not. And yeah, just that reassurance like he's so he's so good about. Like, if I'm, if I'm having a really like, I'm really, really struggling and like, I can't get out of bed, he'll just go sit with me, or he'll, you know, he'll, he'll spoon me. Or we don't even have to say anything, but it's just feeling that physical comfort. That's what works for me. I mean, everybody with anxiety is different. And maybe you don't want to be touched when you when you have anxiety. But just feeling like that warm hug. It's just, it's just that comfort. So yeah, that's how to support someone is just just to listen without judgment and reassure that person that you will always love them, no matter how anxious they get. It sounds so simple, but it makes a world of difference. But the part of your question that I'm struggling to answer is how to how does the supporter protect their own mental health? Because I know, it's hard living with someone with anxiety. I feel bad about that every day, because I know it like when I'm anxious. I'm like, I can't I can't focus on anything else. And I can't talk about anything else. And I'm like, Yeah, that's really difficult to live with. So I don't know, I should go ask Michael. Mike, how do you protect your mental health? I don't know. But I think it's just I think, I don't have all the answers. But I think it's just finding, it's riding the roller coaster and knowing that, that you'll always come out of it. You know, no matter how dark and how deep you go into your anxiety or depression, there's always you'll always go back up, you know, and you just wait for those moments. And once you get through to the other side, relish those moments, and, you know, make time for the person, whether it's going out on a date night, or go into the movie, like, like, I'm describing this from a romantic relationship. But, you know, if you're just supporting a sister or a parent, or a child who has anxiety, it's going to look a little bit different, but just, you know, celebrate those small wins. You know, if you had a good day, if you slept through the night, celebrate that go out for coffee, you know, say hey, you know what, this is great. Let's go celebrate and get a Starbucks and have a special, you know, a special Frappuccino or whatever, some little indulgence. And I don't know how he does it. I don't know how he protects his own mental health. To be honest, he's just amazing. He's amazing at it. So I'm very grateful that we're compatible. Yeah, he's not he's not bothered by it doesn't seem to faze him. When I when I'm going through through the struggle, the struggles he doesn't, it doesn't faze him. He's just like, it's okay. You know, I'm here for you. And it's okay. So yeah, I wish I had a better answer for the second love

Katie Doughty: 59:47

that I have. And I don't mean like in a negative way, but I know sometimes it can be overwhelming for someone who's not going through it and you want to be there for them and you want to support them but you're also You know, getting pulled in and try and it kind of consumes a little bit. And so trying to how do you I like what you said is just letting them know you're here listening without judgment, like I just love those steps of okay, what can I do so that they know and then I'll be here when you're ready or if you want to talk about it or any of those different things. So, yeah,

Unknown: 1:00:22

I think you said it lovely. Thank

Katie Doughty: 1:00:23

you for that. Yeah, I

Unknown: 1:00:24

do. I'm also a big fan of just like also setting boundaries and communicating those. So if, if you as the supporter are feeling overwhelmed by your loved ones anxiety, it's okay to say you know what, I love you. But I'm not in the right headspace right now to help you. So I need to go, I need to go whatever you need, I need to go for a walk, or I need to focus on my work, or I need to do it's okay to say that. As long as it's said with love. It's not like, Oh, I can't deal with you right now. No, it's all about the delivery and how you say something and present it. I am all about boundaries. Man. I am I am middle age now. And I'm like, set your boundaries, tell people what you need. And don't back down. Don't give in just set those boundaries and and communicate your needs as well. Because it's so important. You can't you can't support other people. Unless you are feeling whole yourself. So true. I'm all but I'm in my groups era. Yeah.

Katie Doughty: 1:01:23

Yep, it's so true. And I'm learning that too, as I get older of like self care, is not selfish. And setting yourself up to take care of yourself is not selfish. Do you have to do that. Because as we get older, I feel like I have more people to take care of. Yeah, things to manage, and more, more hearts to manage. And so it's something that I have to remind myself of, and I'm curious for you, you said something in your book about when you were when you were going through some of these deep depression and anxiety. You let yourself feel your feelings, you felt them hard. And then you got yourself out to do something, can you speak to that a little bit, because that is a very difficult thing to do. And I just applaud you for doing it. And then and then helping others see that it is possible. So for you what was it like to feel your feelings? And move on? What did that? What did that look like for you?

Unknown: 1:02:27

Yeah, that came straight from my therapist. And I was dealing with the grief of my divorce, which was, it was the hardest thing I had ever been been through at that point. It was, it was devastating to me. And I had a lot of grieving to do you fight against you fight against negative feelings. So whether it's anxious feelings, or depression, or grief or whatever is like there's a tendency for us naturally to just be like, I don't want to feel those. So I'm going to distract myself by getting on my phone, or I'm gonna distract myself with a TV show or whatever, whatever your distraction techniques are. And that's just avoidance. And so what my therapist taught me is that, in order to get past those feelings, you have to feel them, you can't ignore them, you can't push them away. You have to cry as hard as you can. And feel it but don't dwell on it. And that's the important thing is to not stay in that negative headspace because that's what I was doing. I was grieving and crying, and then not recovering from it. So she said, you feel the feelings, feel them fully cry as hard as you can. And then make sure you have plans to go out with a friend or girlfriend. And that's, that's when the distraction comes, whether you're going out with friends or go see a movie, or whatever it is, like you almost have to schedule it. You have to compartmentalize it and schedule yourself say, Okay, I'm gonna cry, I'm feeling bad. I'm gonna cry tonight. But tomorrow, I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go do something for me, I'm gonna fill my bucket. So you have to find ways to fill your bucket, as well as grieve or work or feel those feelings. So yeah, that's the important thing is to not sit in it for too long, feel it, but then consciously make the decision to move on. And it's hard. Like, it's easy to say that, but it's so hard to do that. And so it's a skill. It's like a muscle you have to practice you have to, you have to exercise that muscle and and let it grow. And then it becomes easier, the more you do it, but it doesn't come naturally at first. Yeah, that's what therapy is for, you know, it's those weekly check ins and for my therapist to remind me, you know that that you can't sit, you can't sit in the darkness forever. You have to feel it and then and then move on. Move on.

Katie Doughty: 1:04:42

I love that. I love that and giving encouragement to those who might be feeling it right now. Like yes, it's validating those feelings. Feel them, feel them hard. And then go find something that makes you feel good. Find something that lifts you up that you want to do or that you Enjoy, but not dwelling in those I think is so, so stinking important. So I'm grateful you said that. Yeah. And it's I always I fight

Unknown: 1:05:10

some sometimes I fight crying like I'm like, Oh, I gotta hold it together. Like if I'm anxious, I'm super anxious or something. I'm like, I feel the need to cry, but I'll fight it. And sometimes you have to because if you're out in public or you're Yeah, at your job or something, you can't cry right then. But it's such a, it's such a feeling where I'm just getting wound up. And the more I fight the crying, the worse I feel. But once I like, I get in the bathtub, you know, I draw my bath, I get in there, and I just let it all go. I feel so good. It's like a workout. Like it feels so good afterwards, and the endorphins start hitting. And I'm just like, Wow, all I needed was a big cry. And it didn't solve anything. Like I still have the same problems I had before. But it's just such a cathartic relief. So don't fight those feelings. Like just, if sometimes all you need is a big cry. And that's enough to make it make you feel like okay, now I can go on with my day. Yeah, because I had that big cry, we have

Katie Doughty: 1:06:07

to let it all out. It's all these emotions that are bottling up and growing inside and letting them out is what is something you need to do. And which brings us to my next thing I want to talk about you started running. You like running and okay, I had this major squeal moment while I was reading your book, because you describe a moment from your first half marathon that only one other person understands. Because I was there. I literally ran through the castle at sunrise at the Tinker Bell half marathon in 2012. But no the same marathon name line. Yeah,

Unknown: 1:06:48

that's amazing. Like this is fate that we've met as bait. Oh my gosh,

Katie Doughty: 1:06:54

I know what you you describe that moment in your book. And that is one of those like, when I need to go to my happy place. That's my happy place is running through the castle at Sun sunrise in Disneyland, and you described it in there. And that was your first half marathon that you did. And you talked about one of the signs it was like worst parade ever. I remember passing or something like that. The signs are great. Yeah. So funny. Yeah. But I was wondering if you could speak a little bit to how you got into running what it means to you. And then we can geek out over running

Unknown: 1:07:28

over running. Yeah, you know what I have to admit, it's been a few years like I don't run it anymore. I have a peloton, though. So now I know, my peloton, and I get that same sort of fulfillment. Yes. From that, that's my workout of choice now just that's just what it is. But I do miss running. And I've been thinking a lot lately. I need to get back into it. Because I miss I miss those feelings of setting a goal. Yes, that seems impossible, like running 13 miles all in one go. And then accomplishing it working towards that goal and then accomplishing it is such a satisfying feeling. But how I got into running was kind of by accident. I am like a sheep. I just follow whatever my friends do. So I had friends who were who were like, Oh, this is the inaugural Tinkerbell half marathon, we have to do it like and so I had FOMO. And I was like, oh, okay, I'm gonna sign up to thinking I'm like, Okay, well, worst case scenario, I'll just walk the whole thing. But then I got nervous. And I'm like, oh, no, I really need to start training hard for this. And so I did. And yeah, it was such a great feeling of accomplishment. And it, I really was able this was around the time I was getting divorced, too. So I was really able to work through a lot of my difficult feelings at the time, there's something about running, and the repetitiveness of it, of your food of your shoes, you know, slapping the pavement and it's like, it's almost like a metronome. You know, and you get into this rhythm, and it's like a moving meditation, where you just clear your mind of all the noise. Yeah. And suddenly, you find answers to answers that you couldn't find before in the busyness of life. And with all the noise that clutters your brain running just empties all of that out and things become crystal clear. And I don't know. I don't know why I don't know the physical mechanics behind that. Why I'm sure there's like a physical disk. You know, a reason why this happens. And I don't I can't speak to that. But it's great like that runner's high is real like that is not a myth. And I'm sure yeah, it's the endorphins. It's all of those things too. But it's the mental aspect, the the meditative quality of just falling into the rhythm and being in tune with your breath, and running outside. With fresh air and sun on your face. Like you forget how important that is to when we're cooped up in our offices all day or behind a computer or rushing around in our cars from one place to the other. You forget just how much we need. that connection with the earth. Yeah. And the sun and the fresh air like it's it's very restorative. It's so it's so simple, but it's also very easy to forget. Like I I fell in love with running. And I don't know why I stopped I guess I don't I don't know why I don't know why I stopped. I could say I got busy but that's kind of an excuse. I'm like, Well, everybody's busy you you make time for the things that are important to you. Yeah, but I got a peloton so it's different I can I can now run or not run I can I can cycle or at all hours of the day. I don't have to you know if it's 5am or if it's, you know, dark at night. I don't have to worry about oh my gosh, am I gonna get my run in? I tend just peloton anytime. So maybe that's why I switched to that. But I would always go champion of running are always a runner. And I have been thinking lately I need to get back to it. It's going to be painful. Getting back to those first few weeks of getting into a runner. They always suck. Yeah, and it's hard. But when you get past it, it's so rewarding is so rewarding. I have to keep that in mind.

Katie Doughty: 1:11:03

Oh my gosh. I feel the same way. Because it's been a few years for me too. And I recently tried to get back into it. But you're right, getting past those first two weeks. It's just like, it's horrible, painful. And the more years that passed, I feel like it gets worse. Yeah, so but what I love what you're saying is, it doesn't matter if you're a runner. You use your peloton, it's exercise, right mental health and exercise. They need to go hand in hand because clearing your brain getting those endorphins, sweating it out. I feel like all of those things are so powerful for having healthier mentality and being able to have a more clear mind. So yeah, regardless of what you even just going for a walk, like you said, getting the sun on your face, getting your body moving, it doesn't need to be this big production. Yeah, you don't have to sign up for a marathon, but just getting out and getting outside. And that's something too that I'm focusing on with my own kids for their mental health. Get outside, like following the 1000 hours outside movement, and Oh, nice. Just getting them to be one with nature is so important. I feel like it's really helpful in their mental health.

Unknown: 1:12:13

Yeah. And you're right walking, walking is so restorative like, Yeah, you don't have to be talented, you don't have to be athletic. There's even just getting outside for 15 minutes on your lunch break from work is extremely powerful and restorative. So, yeah, you don't have to run a half marathon. You don't have to run every day. But just getting outside and just some sort of movement, whatever your form of movement is, whether it's a bicycle or just walking shoes. It's just it's critical for mental health. Absolutely. It's a critical tool in your tool belt of how to combat mental mental health issues. Yeah,

Katie Doughty: 1:12:52

yeah. And I love your shout out to the 12 Minute milers in your book, you're like, Yeah, I pay you and I'm like 12 minute miler here like you're like, Why do only the fast runners post their times? Let me see the 12 Minute milers, you got out there. You did it. Let's celebrate that. And so I just want to shout that out. Because it's so true. And just remind people, time doesn't matter. Speed doesn't matter. Distance doesn't matter. Are you taking care of yourself? Let's celebrate you that's so important. Let's celebrate

Unknown: 1:13:25

everyone, no matter how fast or slow. And I have so much respect for for you the middle of the middle of the packers or the back of the Packers because you know what those back of the Packers are out there a lot longer than the elites right won the marathon. Yeah, you know, those back of the Packers are out there for hours and hours and hours and that is so difficult mentally and physically. So I have so much respect for 12 minute milers, 16 minute mile or 20 minute mile or whatever it is like mad respect to those people and they deserve 100% to be just as celebrated as the elites. Absolutely.

Katie Doughty: 1:14:01

Oh, and I also loved you talk about the cart of shame. Oh, that's

Unknown: 1:14:06

the runDisney card of shame. Yeah,

Katie Doughty: 1:14:09

the card of shame. So we I did the Rock and Roll Marathon. And we call it the sagen wagon. And there was one. Well, you talk about hitting the wall too. When you're talking about your marathon and I hit my wall I was running with my husband. And we were running one direction and like coming down this way. And it was a long way up in a long way back. But you could see the wagon wagon coming this way. And I was just like, in tears. I was like it's gonna pick me up. I'm never going to finish this. The worst thing ever. So I when you said cart of shame. I'm like that is exactly what it is. Yeah. Scary. Yeah.

Unknown: 1:14:53

I understand the necessity for it because you can't have I mean, the streets are only open for so long so they have to collect around yours. Yeah. And it's like, No, we got to open the streets back up. So I understand the purpose of it. But it is very intimidating. You're like, Oh my God, you're here comes the card of shame to pick me up.

Katie Doughty: 1:15:10

Maybe we went on it.

Unknown: 1:15:12

Which is not true. That's always that is not true. You're never alone, even if you're on the card of shame. Yeah,

Katie Doughty: 1:15:18

that's true. That is true. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Well, I have one more question for you. I mean, I could sit and chat with you for oh, yeah, yeah, gates, because you are so easy to talk to and so kind hearted, I appreciate this. So much. But you've mentioned in your book at the end, kind of like, what am I going to go from here? And one of them is writing children's books. Ooh, curious. Is that still on your mind? Are you kind of ruminating about writing children's books?

Unknown: 1:15:46

It's always on my mind. So is it on my mind? Absolutely. And Reni Reni will always she'll text me now. And then she's like, he's still thinking about writing. And so yeah, it's always in the back of my mind. But I don't know what's preventing me from taking that leap. Yeah. And I think it's inexperience, which is dumb, because I could just call Ronnie and be like, Hey, tell me, lead me. You know, you mentored me once before? Let's do it again. And she's offered. She's just like, you ever want to collaborate? Let's collaborate. So yeah, I would love to write children's books, I guess I just need to find, like a, I need to find a focus, like, what am I going to write about? Like, what hasn't been written? What? What do kids need to read? What do they want to read? What age group? I don't know. It's all very overwhelming. And I know, it seems easier to write children's books, but it's really not because every word counts. Like it's almost harder because it is you can't just go on and on and on and a paragraph you have to make it short and tight. And every word counts. So Exactly. Yeah. So maybe it's my lack of knowledge that's holding me back. I don't know. But it's definitely on my bucket list. Yeah. I do want to do it someday. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna say it. I'm going to write a children's book someday. I don't know when. I don't know when but I've just decided this right now that you've given me that little push you further here, folks. Don't know if it's going to be anytime soon. Or maybe it'll be you know, 30 years from now? I don't know. But someday, that that's on my list my bucket list to do. Yeah. Yeah. I just need I just need that push. And I need I need to, to narrow in on what topic?

Katie Doughty: 1:17:24

Oh, my gosh, talk about, okay, well, we can have brainstorm sessions. Okay. I'm working on it. So I'm writing a book, right. And I've written a couple children's books, but I'm working on a book for adults right now. So I am in the headspace of writing. I love that. Let's chat, my friend. Let's get this done for you. It's

Unknown: 1:17:40

not the end of our friendship or a relationship. It's not just podcast or relationship here. This started something great.

Katie Doughty: 1:17:46

We're moving forward. Oh, now my brains out thinking like, well, what could you write about? I feel like there's Yeah, the topic of mental health. Maybe a kid who runs maybe like some kind of I don't know. Okay, we'll have to brainstorm will percolate.

Unknown: 1:18:00

Yeah, brainstorm. Okay.

Katie Doughty: 1:18:02

Yeah, for sure. Oh, my gosh, I want to say goodbye. I feel like it's only been like five minutes. But I don't know, grateful for you. I'm so grateful for the heart and soul that you put into what you do and the way that you show up in the world because it's so needed. And I just, I value what you have to offer. So thank you for being here. Thank you for sharing all of this. And everyone go by full circle. Go read it right now. And come cheer on Andrea Barbara, because she's amazing. Oh, you

Unknown: 1:18:33

are so sweet. And I have enjoyed this conversation. It's been such a satisfying conversation like, in, in this industry in the Hollywood industry as an actor. I'm so used to like quick conversations and quick sound bites. And you know, I gotta tighten things up. And you don't really get to that, that time to flesh out a conversation. So this has been deeply satisfying for me to have this conversation with you just about some really important topics not just about you know, what are you wearing today? Or what you know, it's it's like, these are these are this is what we need to talk about. Yes, about mental health and running and you know, all of the all of the topics that matter. So thank you for this. This has been a highlight for me and I just enjoyed our conversation so much. That

Katie Doughty: 1:19:18

means the world to me. Thank you. Okay, here's how I'm going to end this conversation. Are you ready?

Unknown: 1:19:23

I'm ready. Do good do Bob. Data. Yeah.

Katie Doughty: 1:19:30

Thank you.