Hannah M: Prodromal Labor, Birth Center Birth, Prolonged Purple Pushing Due to Nuchal Hand

Hannah had a smooth pregnancy besides nausea during the first trimester and restless leg syndrome in the third. She switched providers midway after learning that her OB wouldn't accept birth plans. She switched care to a midwifery team at a birthing center. She experienced prodromal labor for a few weeks before her real labor started. She labored at home for a bit then headed to the birth center to labor in the shower and tub. Hannah used hypnobirthing techniques to help her through contractions but was internalizing and blocking out her pain which in turn made her not able to vocalize when she thought something might be wrong. She progressed quickly but ended up pushing for four hours due to baby having a nuchal hand (hand by face). She had a supportive postpartum experience with her husband as they learned to work as a team.

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Intro Song by Carpathians (Donny Rodgers): https://carpathians.bandcamp.com/track/lavaman

Transcript

 Welcome to the Golden Hour Birth podcast. Thank you for joining us. I am Liz. Your. And I'm Natalie, your other co-host, and tonight we have Hannah on. She is a mom of two boys and also a fellow birth center mom.

So thanks for coming on, Hannah. Thank you. Yeah, I'm excited to be here. I love hearing other people's birth stories, so I was like, right. Oh, might as well give mine . It's a passion. It's, it's, yeah. Um, so if you wanna go ahead and kind of tell listeners a little bit about your family and we can start from there.

Okay. Let's see. So I've been with my husband Scott for 15 and a half years. We met in high school, um, through mutual friends cuz he went to Slew and I went Tolin, but, so yeah, I've been together forever. Still have to like count sometimes, but got married in 20.  and let's see, we had a rabbit, white rabbit, and milo.

Good old Milo. Aww. And two dogs. I wanted a cat. Scott gave like a species limit in the household. . I was like, fine. Which is fine. , I don't need a cat. , but, and yeah, he works for, he works at Boeing and I am a dental hygienist, but I stopped working. , uh, let's see. After going back to work when I had Benjamin for only a few months really?

So yeah, I've been retired, yeah, for a couple years now. . Yeah. Wow. You're all of our guests so far have been in the health field, . Oh yeah. That's so funny. That's funny. Yeah. It's a reoccurring theme here. Yeah. Seriously. We're just interested in birth. Yeah. Yeah. , well, I'm not in the health field, but you either.

Mental health, hey, sort of Absolutely. Health. Health, yeah. Yeah. Halfway there. So if you want to go ahead and tell us how you and Scott like decided to start a family, when that kind of was, and then finding out that you were pregnant with Benjamin. Okay. Yes. So got married 2014. . And you know, after a couple years I'm like, okay, we gonna  start, you know, I've been together forever.

Yeah, yeah. I've always known I've wanted to be a mom or try to be a mom, and I'm like, yep, just tap my fingers being PA patient until I wasn't anymore. And I was like, okay, I'm ready. . So that was, we started trying in 2017. And I had no idea about, you know, the details of getting pregnant and it was more, you know, just trying.

And I got impatient after a month, and  bought one of those ovulation kits, you know, and then the next month I was pregnant. So, Very fortunate that I have been lucky. Yeah, like that. Those ovulation kits are really cool too. Yes, they really are. You just track like to the day. To the day, yes. Hours, right?

Yeah. Wow. Oh, I was excited. Kinda like, oh, it's like happening. It's exciting. And I remember walking out and showing Scott the, the test when he was in the kitchen and he was just, Holy. Yeah. . . Okay. It's happening. Like didn't expect it, you know, to happen that fast. I think all men just think the most fun part is trying.

Right? . Right . We're just here for it. So yeah. And that is how we got started with Benjamin. That was, oh, maybe September or October, 2017. And, , what was your pregnancy like with him? It wa first trimester was rough. I was still working. Mm-hmm. , dental hygiene. And I think that almost helped though, like staying busy even though I was on my feet all day, you know, I didn't get to like really think about how nauseous I was and oh my gosh.

Peggy pops you guys. Oh yes, they saved me. And like me being a dental hygienist, I'm like, popping candy. Yeah. Like I was sucking on candy all day, could barely brush my teeth. Poor thing. I was just like, Ugh. It was made me so sick, but made it through and that was the worst of it. I was like tired, but I don't remember being like exhausted.

I would say the nausea was the worst part with Benjamin first trimester and then kind of just smooth sailing through second.  third got a little bit more rough. Sleeping was hard. Mm-hmm. . Oh, I got restless leg syndrome at night. Ugh. That was terrible. . Yeah, I still remember what that was. I like came up with a routine like every night where I would do like stretches and like yoga.

A warm bath and then I would apply like my magnesium lotion on my leg. Yes. And it was like, it took like an hour  just for me to like be able to go to bed, but it did help. So I did that for a really long time. No complications really. So that was, I didn't originally plan on going to the birthing center. I was with an OB and it was like maybe.

eight weeks. Eight 16 weeks. I don't remember that. I started kind of being like, eh, I don't know. Cause I remember seeing at my OBS office a sign where like they handed a flyer, you know, get a packet or whatever. Mm-hmm. . And it said that they didn't accept birth plans. And so that was kind of like a what really?

Just like a hard. No, it was like red flagged me , like, that's so weird. Weird. Like you have like no things or like Yeah, exactly. I didn't even really ask. I was just like, okay, none of your preference. That's, that's weird. I'd already been questioning what I, what route I wanted to go. Yeah. So that was just kinda like confirming Uhhuh

I watched Business of Being Born. Oh, oh my God. That was okay. What . That was everything. Exactly. Yep. Yes, yes. So then after that done deal , I just, I consider myself having a pretty, what is it called? Holistic. No, strong pain tolerance. Thank you. Tolerance. Yes, tolerance. And so I was like, you know, I've seen the movies, heard the stories, but I'm gonna, I'm gonna try mm-hmm.

and then watch that. And then, yeah, got a tour at the birthing center and just loved all the midwives. Mm-hmm.  and oh my gosh, the other rooms. Like this is like a hotel. Like yeah, this is lovely . So they kinda sold, they like sell it to you, you know, they barely have to do anything. You just look at the room.

my luxury. See the bubble wall, the colors. All right. I get to pick my own room too. Dang. How was Scott feeling about the birthing center? Because I know, I just feel like guys just know the. Right. That's just what they know. So how did he feel about that? Well, Scott, Scott watched, you know, watched that with me and mm-hmm.

and he was very, whatever I wanted to do, you know? Yeah. Acknowledge it's my body. And was fully supportive of whatever route that I wanted to go in. That's good. Yes. Which was very nice, you know? So then we switched and it felt really great, and all those appointments went really, Love that they like. Have you meet all of them?

Yeah. Which is really nice. Yeah. Didn't you love how you go in and it's a couch. I know you're not like jumping up on an exam table every time. Right. And they're just like, yeah, just lay down on the couch. Right. And I'll check your, you know, measurements and everything. Yes. It's like, oh, okay. . Mm-hmm. . Yes.

Just so much more like calm. Yeah, peaceful. Which, yes, I, yeah, definitely. Helped my decision. Yeah. But where was I gonna go with that? Because I switched over. But yeah, I mean, and then third trimester was, yeah, the kind of rough patch with that. But all in all, I would say really, really easy pregnancy. So good.

Very lucky with that. Yeah. So we can go ahead and jump into, yeah. The birth that is next. Let's see, I had had prodromal labor.  for weeks. Mm-hmm. . And what is that? Fake labor for labor. For labor, for people who don't know. Yes. . Fake labor. Yes, labor. So you know your body, you get the contractions started, they kinda like are a little sporadic, not consistent, and then kind of fizzle off after a few hours or whatever it is.

Because I was, I stopped working at 38 weeks I think. Mm. Convinced, you know, well by 40 weeks he'll definitely be here. And it was cuz it was just way too uncomfortable. You know, you have a huge belly and you have a patient in front of, in front of the belly and you're like already bending over . Whew. So very glad to be done working.

I was a bit of a couch potato towards the end , but had my, my two doggies, so they.  fairly busy, but I was also doing coaching at Ford Fitness. Mm-hmm.  and I stopped that I think maybe 39 weeks. 40 weeks. Kinda same thing, just kind of over being on my feet all the time, but for Dral labor for a couple weeks and that was, that sucked.

Did you end up like, Were you calling the midwives every time, or were, did you just kind of know, like, I knew I knew this. Yeah. You know what, maybe the first day it happened, I was just like, Ooh. But then by evening it had gone away and so I had a, I had done a fair amount of research about, you know, what to look for and what to expect, and so I felt pretty prepared that I would know when it was gonna happen.

Mm-hmm. . So July 3rd, we went for a swim at my in-laws pool, and that was really nice.  and I think that might have helped Kickstart. And also like July 4th is the next day they, they say babies love ruining plans. , that was accurate.  . So July 4th, I wake up in the early morning, like one 30. So immediately I was like, this is different.

Usually they, you know, my fake labor started in the afternoon, so this has gotta be it. I was able, I, I time my contractions, they're like 10 minutes apart. Mm-hmm. , I was like, well I'm gonna try to go back to.  didn't have to worry about Scott being off work cuz he already was and woke up at like eight. So I still got a good amount of sleep.

Yeah. Which was nice. Mm-hmm.  and they were still there and we actually had plans to meet with Benjamin's in-home daycare lady, and I was like, well we're gonna go because I think the kid's coming and I don't know, I'm not going to meet her when I have a one week old. So we went.  and stayed consistent with the contractions, but they weren't like uncomfortable yet or anything.

I could still talk through them. And you know, she did the tour and asked her questions and by the end of the hour though, I was like, okay, I'm ready to go home. Mm-hmm. . So we went home and Scott made our bedroom like super dark and I got my birthing ball out and I was doing hypno birthing mm-hmm. , which I did.

the online course, and I, I also went and saw a doula who specializes in hypnobirthing. And so I was like, that was my game plan for the natural birth. And so I listened to my tapes and they're just all about, you know, relaxing and breathing the baby down. And Scott turned on. The movie for me  on July 4th.

I love that . So watch that a bit. I think I nibbled on his sandwiches. Wasn't very hungry. I should have eaten more, but I just didn't sound good. So that was like, I think we called, I think I called when I was like on the way home from the sitters and Elizabeth.  who's not there anymore, but I know she was amazing, wasn't she?

Oh, amazing. I was like, when she answered, I'm like, do you ever sleep? Like seriously, you're there all the time. But she told me to, you know, call back when I couldn't talk through them anymore and they're getting uncomfortable. So maybe like one 30. I remember taking a shower and that felt so nice. Mm-hmm.

and I was just like, I want to be in my.  with the fancy like wand, like hand wand for the shower there. Mm-hmm. , because it just sounded so nice to have that on my lower back. That's where I was. Yes. You know, I didn't have back labor per se, thankfully. Cause I've heard that hooks . But did you listen to mine?

Yes. Yeah. But it definitely wrapped into my back and I think just. You know, I was starting to feel the pressure. Yeah. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. I remember just like having that thing on my back, even when I was having uterine contractions and I was like, why does this feel so good? ? Mm-hmm.  and so called, and they said, well, you know, it's kind up to you.

Mm-hmm. , which I hate. Yeah.  like, oh. It's like that moment where it's like, well, do I go in and then get denied and I have to like come back home? . Right. And then a car ride. Yes. Mm-hmm.  that brutal car ride there. Car ride. It's like, I don't wanna wait too long. Yes. Because then, you know, it just, it's so uncomfortable.

Mm-hmm.  and then yeah, to be denied and then like, get back in the car. No, . Absolutely not. Right. Thankfully we live in Webster Grove, so it's like 15 minutes if that. So again, I was like dead set on the shower there. So I'm like, let's go, we're gonna go. So we get there like two 15. Elizabeth checks me and I'm five centimeters, um, and 90% faced.

So good progress. Mm-hmm. . And she was like, you know, you can walk around or we can go ahead and put you in a room.  get me in that shower. I like immediately undressed my birthday suit, . Don't care who sees me, I'm getting naked, like   got in the shower. It was as amazing as I was expecting, and I had Scott, you know, using the wand on my whore back and that was awesome.

We did that for a while and you know, the whole time I was still listening to my tapes and next up I wanted to be in the tub, so got in the tub and that's when things really picked up and that's when, yeah, lot of pain. Whew. There was a lot of like, I think at one point I put a wash.  in my mouth, so I had something to like bite down on.

Oh. Even though they, they say, you know, you got like, do the horse lips. Yeah. . Yeah. You know, gotta stay loose, gotta relax. That's when I, like it was the hardest for me. And that is when I, I think I hit transition. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Cause that's when my water broke in the tub too. Mm-hmm.  and the top two . Mm-hmm.

Remember the nurse, she's like, do you want me to empty yet? , I. So far gone from like talking to anyone, I'm like, I don't care. Like , I will sit in this. Like, that's how desperate I am to like just block out what is happening right now. . But even though like I knew that I was happening, you know, I was kind of telling myself that I was almost over mm-hmm.

because you know, that's what they say the worst part. And then it's like, baby's almost here. Mm-hmm.  so Sure. , I think around five. After I got outta the tub, uh, I was fully dilated and they could tell, they told me I could start pushing. But again, with hypno birthing, I had practiced breathing down. Mm-hmm. , I was like, I wanna try to really minimize tearing.

Mm-hmm. . So I tried that. I remember moving, like, they kept wanting me to like get up on the bed. Oh my gosh. For some reason. , like getting my legs up onto the bed was just put me in excruciating pain. And Scott was there the whole time. I think he got up to pee like twice the whole time we were there. But I just like internalized my, my pain so much that like, I, I was so numb to like everything, trying to block out how much pain I was in.

Mm-hmm. , I don't think I really like, I didn't vocalize that. . I think to them they just thought I was like concentrating and you know, going through it. But you know, looking back I probably should have been like, I don't, I don't think this is right, you know, but first time you don't what to expect. Yeah.

Mm-hmm. , I was the first one to have a baby in my friend group, so it's not like I had anyone talk to. So that was around five and then five, six maybe that the timing gets so hazy. Yeah, it does. It's like it goes fast, but it doesn't for the same time. So I'm like asking Scott.  what time all this happened, but yeah, the only reason I know is from pictures, like the time stamps, pictures, picture.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank God for those. I don't know. Scott even took me, I think it was just like, he was like right there. He was next to me, but I don't remember him being there. They had me move a bunch, you know, on the toilet, um, squatting on the bed, and I know they had several other moms at the time. So Elizabeth, you know, was in and out.

Mm-hmm. . Oh, I forgot to. , this might be slightly embarrassing, but . This is a birthing podcast, so . When I was in the tub, I was in so much pain that I was so desperate for relief.  that I like, tried to stimulate my, my clitoris. I was like trying to give myself an orgasm because I read that that helped move things along and also like we'd get the pain away.

No, again, I was so numb. I was, I think I did for like 10 seconds. I'm like, this isn't doing Jack . And like any more mo you have to do is. Too much. Right? Like I'm like, nevermind. Abort mission. Yeah. But I like only imagine my nurse and like Elizabeth was in there. She probably like, what is she trying to do?

You know? They know they're midwives. . I've definitely heard that too. And like that was like my thought of like, like nipple stimulation. Yes. Anything, like anything take my mind off. And then I like , I was so focused on it that I couldn't even think of it. Yeah. Doing that in that moment. Yeah. Yeah. So that didn't do anything , but, so I didn't even think I did do that later, you know?

Anyway, so I ended up pushing, you know, air quotes for a long time cuz it wasn't actual pushing, but I was fully dilated and, you know, I was having contractions and at one point, you know, Elizabeth asked me to like, feel for the head, which I did. I felt Ben's head and it, it wasn't super far up there, but gosh, it just seemed so stuck and.

by the time that like, I think Elizabeth could make it to my room and like really like focus on me. She was kind of like, all right, like it's time. Mm-hmm.  to get the show on the road, like it's been several hours. So that's when they had me get up on the bed and, and do like the purple pushing. So that's like when you're,  faces like turning purple from pushing so hard.

Oh my God. And they were like pushing on my legs, you know? Classic kind of like things you've heard and stories you've heard in in movies and stuff. But I was so exhausted by that point though that like I would push for like half a contraction and then I would lose it. Mm-hmm.  and also, , like, because I was so numb, I felt like I, I couldn't figure out how to push.

Like it didn't calm naturally to me. Yeah. How to push. I was definitely pushing with my stomach. Mm-hmm.  and not with my pelvic floor. And they were using like so much lube, , like Elizabeth was really trying to help me. And I remember her saying, you know, we were past the point of vacuum, or. Forceps or anything to help.

I was so exhausted. I was on the bed, I laid back, I was like, just cut 'em outta me, which Scott laughed at. He chuckled, but you know, they kind of looked at me like, are you serious, ? Like they didn't know. I was joking and maybe I wasn't a little bit in the moment, but, I knew he was right there, you know?

Mm-hmm. . So, you know, they really coached me and she asked me if I wanted a mirror to see his head, and I said no. Again, I was just so exhausted. I was like, how's that gonna help me? Like, I don't care. Like I just need this kid out of me. It had been like four hours at that point, and then that's when, you know, I felt the ring of fire.

Mm-hmm.  just, whew. You know, I hated the term. I thought it was so fear inducing. But again, read that, when that happens, usually you get your baby like really fast. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. No, not in my case. I felt that for like 20 minutes. Oh my God. Oh no. Yeah. He was so stuck and I was so exhausted. I just could not get him out.

And I really think in the end it was mostly like Elizabeth like pushing to pop his head out. Mm-hmm. . Wow. Finally his head. And then you know the rest is kind of , . You just slip right out. , and I remember her holding him up.  and I looked at him and I was like, oh my God, he's huge.  like that came out of me even though he was only eight pounds, six ounces.

But like, he just looked ginormous to me.  like kinda like, just like kind of doing like Simba, you know? I think just the angle. He was higher than I was. I don't know. But I was just like, I looked at him and I just laid back and was just like, oh my God, I'm done. He did it. Yeah. Like he's.  and he was fine, thankfully.

You know, they, they checked his heart the whole time and that was never a concern. Mm-hmm. . So I think that's why they didn't really pressure me to start trying to get him out sooner. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. They were like, that's why when he came out, because he had his hand up by his face. Oh my God. So that's why he.

Slowly came out. So you know, he was kind of stuck. Yeah. A little stinker. . Oh my gosh. But I had just like first degree tear. Elizabeth stitches were amazing. That woman. Seriously, I miss her. . . But you know, when he came out I was just like, I was so relieved.  that I was done and I was exhausted. And Scott, you know, was kind of crying and he was like, he has my ears

He was like, well that's cute, but I'll look at him in a minute.

which he doesn't really,  guy has big ears. But yeah, so.  forgot to mention, you know that when his head was coming on, I heard fireworks in the background. Oh. So that was kind of cute. That is kind of cute. Because at that point I thought it was, it was two days later, . For all I knew, I was like, I, today could be July 6th for all I know

So I was like, oh my God. Still July 4th. Okay. That's it. That's fun. So I had July. Baby and a little firecracker. That's what I was gonna say. . Yes. So how long were you pushing total? Four hours. Oh my. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I, I am, like I said, I think if Elizabeth wasn't so, had so many other moms that they probably would've sent me upstairs.

Mm-hmm.  and I even heard her like comment at one point to a nurse.  so and so, like maybe a doctor that's upstairs would've done a c-section by now or something like that, you know? Yeah. And I was so adamant against having a c-section, even when I made my, my, my comment. I'm just thankful. Yeah. That his heartbeat was still good and, but hypno babies, hypno birthing.

I don't, I don't know.  certainly I didn't use that for, for Dean number two. Mm-hmm.  just was not my jam. The woman's voice is perfectly soothing, but I don't think she helped me enough. . Oh. But yeah, ordered a pizza right away, , and I appreciate that . Gosh. And then, you know, they kind of kick you out so fast.

I'm like, dang, I feel like I just got. A breath and then they're like, well, sorry, your time's up. I think we were there four hours. Yeah, that was before they switched it to where you could stay. Yes. The 24 hours. Yeah. I mean they, they said we could go upstairs, but I really just wanted to go home. Mm-hmm.

I've never slept well. I need my special pillow, , I have neck issues, , , so, you know, packed him up. I remember walking out and thinking I was done having children  so it. . It was pretty traumatic, and I just remember shaking my legs, you know? Mm-hmm.  shaking so much, but I mean, that happened for days after I had been.

Mm-hmm.  not just like hours, you know, from your hormones, but I think I literally used so much strength and like muscle.  when I was pushing mm-hmm.  that it literally was like a workout. I'm kind of going into postpartum. Yeah. . Perfect. So that was hard. I, for some reason, was really dumb and thought like you couldn't take Ibuprofen or Advil or Tylenol or whatever.

Okay. Acetaminophen. So I didn't, I definitely could have, I don't know why I didn't, I think since I was breastfeeding, . I don't know. I don't know where. Yeah, that got screwed up. But , so I, they didn't take any of that. Oh my gosh. So that didn't help. I know that didn't help. And I was like, cycle it . I should, every two hours I would've So much, so much are telling me I can have it every four hours.

Right. And I think that is part of, you know, why it's nice that you can stay longer. Cause I just feel like I missed out on some of maybe. Suggestions. Mm-hmm.  by not staying. Yeah. So yeah, I was just, I just remember being really sore. You know? Obviously got hemorrhoids, not the wazoo. Oh my God, Scott. Poor Scott.

I'm like, I need you to look . What is happening? Oh my God, down there. I had a mirror . I was like, what? Because I, I did, I was like, you know, we've been together for so long. I'm like, Scott, tell me what this is

but, uh, yeah. And confirmed hemorrhoids, obviously. I mean, push for four hours. Yeah. Woohoo. And so helium was rough, but we had a lot of visitors, which was nice. Uh, and I had no issues. Saying, peace out, I'm gonna go sleep. . Scott can entertain you and you can hold the baby and I'm gonna go to bed. , I need some of that.

Woohoo. Yes. Gotta sleep. I mean, I sleep 10 hours a day, like right now. So like having a baby, I was like, I'm keeping this  up as long, as much as I can. But breastfeeding was fairly smooth with Ben, you know, very classic. Like one side pop off, other side pop off, burp in between.  pass out. He was just like a very kind of easy breastfed baby, which was nice.

That's good. Obviously the cluster feeding and a little bit of sore nipples, but nothing, nothing that was terrible. Mm-hmm.  that had me questioning it. Do you guys remember your like first postpartum cry? Yeah. , like the day I was home from the hospital. . Yeah. Right. Uhhuh .  . Yeah. I, we had heard different techniques for like handling nighttime, you know, and like my in-laws had mentioned that they like kind of split the night half and half.

So like someone sleeps with the baby downstairs, the other person gets the bed upstairs and then it's like a shift change. Mm-hmm. . Yeah. So we decided to try that. Mm-hmm. , I think I lasted, like Scott went upstairs to sleep first and I think I lasted like 30 minutes.  and I, you know, shaking legs like wobble upstairs, and I opened the door like very bluntly, opened the door and he popped up.

You know, he's like on alert and I'm just like, I need sleep.  just like balling. He's like, yep, yep. Gets up, you know, just goes downstairs and. Bless that man. . He like, let me sleep. Probably longer than he should have. But What night was that? That was like night one. Oh, okay. And so after that we were like, nah, we're not doing that.

That's not for us. Yeah. Mm-hmm. . And so we, we, we tried, after that, we decided to do more like, okay, we're all gonna go to bed up in our room together, like eight or nine. And this worked really well for us. Just tip. But we had. , we had him on one side of the bed and then we would take turns being right next to him.

Mm-hmm. . And the person who was right next to him was like the one in charge. Cuz you know, they make so many little noises. Yeah. You're up every like 10 minutes just putting your hand on. I'm like, are you gonna wake up or not? So that person got the, you know, crappy sleep while the other person was in the deep sleep and then earbud.

Mm. Put those in if you're not next to the baby. Mm-hmm. , which helped a lot, you know, cuz you still hear the big cries, but not the little snorts. Mm-hmm.  and COOs and cute little noises, but not when you're really exhausted.  . But, so we would switch back and forth and you know, Scott would get him up while I maybe had a couple extra minutes.

He'd bring them to me, I'd breastfeed, he'd fall back asleep. Switch sides, give them back, he'd change the diaper I'd pass out and we would do that, and that worked so well. But as with anything with babies, you know, you get used to one thing and then they change it up on you. Yeah. . So, you know, you just, it's just trial and error.

Trying different swaddles, you know, trying different sounds and. Pacifiers. Oh my God. I think, I think I spent like $200 at pacifiers. I'm like, please take a pacifier. I will spend it. You, I bought like one from another country , so like handmade wax. , my god. So I'm gonna bougie pacifier. There's so many. And of course he, that was the one that he did take the most , but barely.

But don't lose that one even then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah.  that worked well for us. So that was, that was good. And then, yeah, cluster feeding, you know. But all in all, I, I just had baby, the baby blues. Thankfully Scott was my rock. I think without him I would've been more susceptible probably. But we ran it together and that helped.

Mm-hmm. . And that's why that first night didn't go well. Cause I was like, I just, even if you don't do anything, I need you next to me for like support. , um, yeah. You're in it together. . Yes. Jason. And I always say it's me and you against the kids , right? Yes, exactly. Mentality. Yeah. Yeah. We say the same thing, like, we're really trying to get to us tonight, aren't they?

They're not. They're not gonna win. I can't make us . Yeah. Let's see what else? Yeah. You know, oh, another, you know, cluster feeding. Oh, is the, . And I remember Scott, this is another crying story, but this one's more funny. And I, he had been cluster feeding for like 24 hours, like straight, and I was like at my wits end, and Scott was in a volleyball league and this was like week two, and he skipped the, he skipped week one and he was like, I'm gonna go, it's like four hours.

All right. All right. Yep. Go. I got this, but again, cluster fed probably 24 hours, like zero sleep. And I was watching New Girl. Have you guys watched New Girl? Yeah. I love so good . And it was the episode where Cece finds out she's pregnant. Um, which, um, if you haven't seen this episode, spoiler alert,  and Scott comes home at like, at this exact moment.

Schmidt fills up their room full of flowers to tell her that she's pregnant, and I'm like breastfeeding Ben, and I'm watching this . I'm just bawling my eyes out. And he definitely walks in like tiptoeing, like, oh my gosh, what happened? I'm just like, that's so cute. You . You can find me like that on like a Friday night with or without a baby on my boob

Oh my gosh. Yes. I was. Oh my gosh, it was such a good scene.  . So hormonal. Oh, because, yeah, I don't normally, I don't normally cry. . That's the crier.  shall admit. Love him for it, but I love that. Yeah. So yeah, that's Benjamin. That's awesome. Yeah. Do you have any advice for new moms or anyone wanting to kind of do an actual.

Oh, that's a question. I do have new advice. This is just the same advice I give to each of my friends when they get pregnant and they're gonna have a baby. And that is to start sharing parenting responsibilities immediately. You know, have dad change the diaper, have him give them a bath, have them take baby when they're fussy and they won't stop crying.

you don't know what to do either, you know? Mm-hmm. , I think a lot of times moms kind of get in the, well, I like how I do it, and I do it faster, and it's just easier, so I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna do it really fast. Yeah. So even though you might have to, you know, bite your tongue when dad puts the diaper on backwards or whatever it is, you know, I think that's really important to give them the opportunity to show.

useful and helpful that they can be mm-hmm. . And then that way when the kid turns a year, you're not like, why am I the one who's only doing, you know, nighttime routine and you say you don't know how to do it. You know? I just think it's, it's so important for mom's mental health to be able to pass baby off and like trust that you know, no more.

Yeah. That they're, they're doing just as good of a job as you were trying, you know? Yeah. You know. . Huge. Huge. During that time, huge. You're both learning together. Yes, exactly. Until like, yeah, I had no idea what I was doing. Right. But yeah, use it as a learn a learning. Yeah. Excuse or a learning experience.

Mm-hmm. . Yeah. Together. Cuz I mean, parenting's so hard and newborn stage rough, but it's one of many bumps that you'll go through and your relationship, you know? Mm-hmm. . So if you're sharing 50 50. Work. It's only gonna make you appreciate your partner more. Mm-hmm. , because you know how hard they're working, you know?

Sounds really good advice. So, yeah, I love that we're going through that now with like our toddler, just a little hitting and we're both like, after we put 'em to bed the other night, we're both just like, I don't know what to do. Right. He's like, I don't either. I'm like, is there a book? Right. A course. Like how do we discipline Right.

Him like, you know mm-hmm.  and stay true to like our. What we would like our parenting styles to be and yes. Oh my God. There's just no handbook for this. I, I know, right? Yeah. It is nice to be able to bounce ideas off of each other and, you know, know that you're working as a team. And like you said earlier, you know, it's us against them Totally.

Is . Yeah. And every stage, so It's so true. It's gotta think of it like that. Very true. I'd probably change like 500 diapers by the time Wesley was born. Just from like being an aunt so young. Right. And nannying so many times. Yes. And Sam would start changing diapers and I'd just be like, shut up. Shut up, Natalie.

Right. Shut up your time. Yep, exactly. And sure enough that Samuel is such a good diaper changer now and he is doing it in minutes with an alligator on our hands. Right. Like just toss. Yeah. . Yeah, exactly. That's, yeah, and I think, I think. , you know, they want, they wanna be as good as, as moms. Mm-hmm. , but I, I don't, I just don't think it always comes as naturally to them and mm-hmm.

Yeah. Sometimes a little, just a little hint here and there, like, oh, you know, and. , when I do it, I've found it. It helps if you twist it this way or whatever. Mm-hmm. . And then, you know, they might, if you say that four times, they might , they might on the fifth time pick it up. Yeah. You know, takes, takes practice.

One sec. Patience. Once they have that first blowout and you're like, well, if you put it on a little tighter, ruffles out. Yes. Okay, just got it. Just gentle comments and don't need to blow up. , , no pun intended. .  and a natural. Natural. No, I don't know. , I'll say one thing. I think the business of being born. Yeah.

Which like, I didn't even mention it my own mm-hmm. , but we talked about this a lot. Mm-hmm.  and like that was a life changer for me. So if. Thinking of doing a natural birth or something even close like that is the best documentary I've ever seen. Yes, it is a good one. And I'm pretty sure you can watch it for free.

Yeah. Like YouTube. Yeah. On YouTube. Yeah. Pretty watched on YouTube. Yeah. I was an eye opener for sure. It was, it was just like a lot of new things that I had no idea. Yes. About the history of mm-hmm.  birth. Mm-hmm. . Yep. Mm-hmm. . So, Yeah. Anne Ricky Lake was like such a surprise to me. . I wasn't expecting her, but I like it.

Right. Yeah. Oh, but also, also do look into different ways to cope with pain. And I, and I actually, that's another just tip I give to moms is cuz you don't necessarily know the epidural is going to work. Mm-hmm. . So it is a good idea to.  some type of method so that you can ease your mind during those contractions.

Cuz even when it does work, you know, you still feel kind of pressure. Mm-hmm.  not necessarily you know, the pain, but that's just a good thing to, to, to do. Mm-hmm. , um, just in case. Yeah. Good to have a backup plan. Yeah. Yeah. And know your options. Yes. Yeah.  and have a birth plan. Yeah. Yeah. You have to pivot from it.

It's okay. Like at least have that just creating it. You learn, you learn so much. Mm-hmm. . Mm-hmm. . Yes. So very true. True. Yeah. If your doctor says you can't bring a birth plan in , that might be a red flag. Yeah. Let's, let's re rethink. Awesome. . Well, Hannah, thanks so much for coming on. Thank you. It was so wonderful hearing about Ben's birth.

Thank you. And we'll have you back for number two. Perfect. For photos and more information on Hannah, check out our website, the golden Hour birth podcast.com. You can also find links in the show notes to follow Natalie and Liz on Instagram and Facebook. There are also links to great resources there as well.

If you would like to share your story with us, head over to our website and fill out the guest intake form or just DM us on Instagram or Facebook, and we'll be in touch with you shortly. And if you enjoy our podcast, please share with your friends and family. , and if you wouldn't mind just giving us a five star rating on Apple or Spotify, if you really want to, um, help us out, you could leave us a review, which would help us spread wide to all the other listeners who might wanna be listening to birth stories.

So we'll see you next episode.