Join us as we sit down with our dear friends Scott and Jenny Means to explore their incredible journey into marriage coaching. Scott shares his path from worship leadership to creating a curriculum that intertwines spiritual principles with marital relationships, a journey that has deeply enriched his and Jenny's marriage. Discover how their personal transformation has inspired and guided countless couples, and be excited with us as they join our coaching ministry, bringing their wisdom and passion to our community.
Have you ever struggled to support your spouse through emotional pain without jumping to fix the problem? Scott and Jenny provide a masterclass in offering grace-filled support by sharing their own experiences dealing with each other's traumas. We delve into the importance of emotional support over solutions, adjusting our automatic responses shaped by past hurts, and providing feedback that builds rather than breaks. This segment is a heartfelt reminder that it's never too late to strengthen intimacy and build bridges in your relationship.
Scott & Jenny's coaching
Scott & Jenny's ministry pages
Join us as we sit down with our dear friends Scott and Jenny Means to explore their incredible journey into marriage coaching. Scott shares his path from worship leadership to creating a curriculum that intertwines spiritual principles with marital relationships, a journey that has deeply enriched his and Jenny's marriage. Discover how their personal transformation has inspired and guided countless couples, and be excited with us as they join our coaching ministry, bringing their wisdom and passion to our community.
Have you ever struggled to support your spouse through emotional pain without jumping to fix the problem? Scott and Jenny provide a masterclass in offering grace-filled support by sharing their own experiences dealing with each other's traumas. We delve into the importance of emotional support over solutions, adjusting our automatic responses shaped by past hurts, and providing feedback that builds rather than breaks. This segment is a heartfelt reminder that it's never too late to strengthen intimacy and build bridges in your relationship.
Scott & Jenny's coaching
Scott & Jenny's ministry pages
Welcome to the Still Becoming One podcast. We are Brad and Kate.
Speaker 2:In our more than 20 years of marriage, we've survived both dark times and experienced restoration.
Speaker 1:Now as a licensed marriage counselor and relationship coaches. We help couples to regain hope and joy.
Speaker 2:We invite you to journey with us, as we are Still Becoming One.
Speaker 1:Let's start the conversation. Hello everyone, and welcome to Still Becoming One. We are so glad that you are with us again today.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a lovely Monday morning.
Speaker 1:It is a lovely Monday morning and we are just excited to have our guests with us again. Yes, we have had Scott and Jenny Means on the podcast before we have, but we are so excited to have them back. They are good friends of ours that we've met through the blessings of marriage ministry and we are so excited to have you with us again today, scott and Jenny.
Speaker 3:Welcome. We're happy to be here.
Speaker 4:We are very happy to be here.
Speaker 2:Yay, we love Scott and Jenny. So we are just, yeah, as we have been sharing with you, we are continuing to grow our coaching ministry ministry and Scott and Jenny are going to be joining our team and we're super excited for that. So we asked them to come back on today to talk a little bit about that and a little bit about their hearts and what they love to do in marriage ministry. So, scott and Jenny tell us remind our listeners if they listened to our last episode with you how did you guys get into marriage ministry? Like, how did that happen?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so I guess I'll take that question first and you can add your own comments. So our journey, or my personal journey, in the marriage ministry really came through my involvement in leading worship.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:Which may sound a little bit.
Speaker 3:A little bit hard to understand, but really what happened for me was, as I was leading worship, ministering in the house of prayer in Atlanta, in Atlanta, and my heart, the Lord just began to speak to my heart and do a kind of a deep revelation on the emotions of God and how Jesus pursues us.
Speaker 3:As a bride, and my focus in worship was to bring the bride and the bridegroom together as I was leading worship, and that's kind of a became a segue into me exploring in the scriptures what does God say about what it means to be a husband, and to be a husband that loves like Jesus loves husband, and to be a husband that loves like Jesus loves. And as I began to explore that, I started writing some, really initially from my own understanding and then through a blog, which I think is where we began to interact, was I discovered your blog and you discovered mine. We kind of saw that we had a lot in common in terms of our, our approach and thoughts on marriage ministry. So that's really kind of how it. How it began for me was this journey through worship and understanding the love of God for me personally and and seeing that as a lens through which I can learn to be a good husband.
Speaker 4:And that's it also kind of began for me then, as well as the recipient being married to someone who's going through that journey, it began to transform our marriage, which I would have said was good before, but, scott, and to love me in a way that made it just irresistible for me not to love him back that way, you know, just like our relationship with Christ, and selflessly and trying to love me. Well, it just made a, opened a door wide, yeah, and I had no idea where we weren't as intimate as we could have been until that happened.
Speaker 1:And I saw it happen with his worship.
Speaker 4:I would be in the room and I could tell the way he was worshiping God, was in great love and intimacy with the Lord, and that just kind of spilled out all over me as well.
Speaker 2:I love that. That's amazing. That's so cool. How did that then translate to? Of course, scott, you were talking about how you started writing on your blog, when blogs were a huge thing we were writing on our blog how did that?
Speaker 3:end up Way back when.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know it does. Yes, we'll just move on from that. How did that translate to you guys meeting with couples and immersing yourself? I mean I know you guys had other things couples and immersing yourself. I mean I know you guys had other things jobs and all of that. It wasn't full-time for you.
Speaker 1:But how did?
Speaker 2:that then morph into meeting with couples, and this being a passion yeah.
Speaker 3:So where it started was I began to take some of this writing that I had begun to do and some of the blog stuff and we actually developed a small group curriculum for marriage and that's a. It's a 13 week curriculum that that explores at a deep level our relationship with Jesus and then turns the lens back onto the marriage. And what does that look like in marriage? Things like, you know, faithfulness and strength and love and race, and how do all those things work out in our spiritual life. But then what does that inform us about in our marriage life?
Speaker 3:And so we developed that curriculum and we've probably been. That was maybe 14 years ago, I think. We started leading that small group and have been doing that really all the way up until we relocated to the mountains, which is where we live now. But that's really where it began was with this small group curriculum, and I would say maybe 150 or so couples have been through that now since we started that, probably at least, and sometimes it would be a group of um eight four couples eight of us and there were 17 couples.
Speaker 4:It just depended. Wow, people who took it over and over again. Wow, yeah, the community around that with couples supporting and plus it kept morphing into. I mean, every time it was totally different.
Speaker 3:Depending on the couples involved.
Speaker 4:Everybody's experiences were teaching us. We were learning what needed to be talked about and the best ways to talk about it. We were learning that from these couples and the best ways to talk about it. We were learning that from these couples.
Speaker 3:Yes, and the cool thing about it was because we were leading it once or twice a year. It kept it. You know, we kept learning more each time for ourselves, for yourselves. And we'd go through it, so it was really good. Yes, it was good for us yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we definitely found that to be true as well. I mean doing marriage ministry. You know, of course, both of us the four of us have done marriage ministry online, but seeing how it changes when you do it in community is just so amazing because other couples walking alongside of you there's so much that you learn from each other. There's just something very special and sacred about that.
Speaker 3:I mean, god designed us to do life in community anyways, but yeah, it's just a really beautiful thing so recently, what we've been doing is kind of mini retreats, not having the benefit of close by community. Yeah, Decided, well, let's bring couples up here. And so we've been doing kind of mini retreats in our home of three other couples and doing, you know not, you can't do 13 week curriculum over a weekend, but to do kind of the key, some of the key points, and it's yeah we really enjoy the the engaging with other couples.
Speaker 3:Enjoy the engaging with other couples, whether it be one-on-one or in a group like that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think it goes to show and talk about the benefit and the purposefulness of continually growing in your marriage and that this is never a one-time thing, right, you know?
Speaker 1:I know some of the people who are listening to this may feel very stuck and feel like they need something to grow and that's what they're looking for, and I think that's a really good point. But most healthy marriages that I know are very purposeful in continuing that path and it's not like they're always going to see a coach or they're always going to see a counselor, but they're always doing something in order to keep themselves growing and I think that's just so critical.
Speaker 3:We say to couples marriage and especially the intimacy dynamic in marriage is organic, so it's either growing or it's dying. So if you're not, doing something to feed it. It's probably not going in the right direction. There's no status quo right, you can't just maintain that you know, even keel, you're either growing or not. So that.
Speaker 1:That is a challenge.
Speaker 4:When couple took our course a few times and then they began with us because they're younger and we felt like we've been married almost 42 years now. Um, but we enjoyed having them. They took it several times and and Chad, the husband would say anything. You do anything to help your marriage, even if it's not the greatest thing in the world, or maybe that book wasn't the best you ever read, or maybe you attend the weekend, but no matter what, it's always going to help your marriage. It's always good to be be sowing into your marriage.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 4:I recently at this point I mean 42 years in. I've decided over the past few years to add a marriage book to my devotional time, because and that means I'm looking at it in the presence of the Lord every day Maybe just read, maybe not even a whole chapter, just reading it. And you don't know many of the authors that I'm looking at and their books that I some of them I've read years ago, but I'm just revisiting, constantly washing my heart.
Speaker 3:That's good, good truth yeah.
Speaker 1:But I love the challenge that you just put out there, scott, of your marriage is organic and it is either growing and thriving and working towards health or it is slowly withering and the energy is going out of it. And I think that is scary, probably to a lot of people, but I think it's also something to really pay attention to, because every marriage is going to have those times of maybe withering right. But if we can recognize it and then go, but if we can recognize it and then go.
Speaker 1:Oh wait, the last week, month, whatever, has been less than what we want. Let's change that.
Speaker 3:That's the key, that really means that you're going to flip and go towards growth again if you're intentional.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, it's very true.
Speaker 3:We call that being watchful.
Speaker 3:I love that To be watchful over your marriage. What has been happening? What's the trend? What are the warning signs that we need to look for that maybe we need to take some action, yeah, and also not just in a negative way. But also, how can I sow into my marriage, how can I watch out that we're taking care of our relationship, that we're going on regular date nights or whatever it might be to feed our marriage? How can we just make sure? Because, honestly, it's very easy and somewhat human nature to just kind of let things take their own course like the path of least resistance is the easy path, and so if you're not particularly watchful, you know things can.
Speaker 3:You can just kind of wake up one day and realize who is this stranger?
Speaker 4:I'm married to you know and that roommate but there's no passion at all, mm-hmm. And I think that people who are watchful and even people who aren't. Every season of life is different and every season of life dramatically affects you as a couple yes, very watchful of your marriage or not. I think every couple experiences those times when they feel like, hey, we've suddenly hit this wall, or there's something we can't talk about, or there's an issue that we can't seem to handle together and I feel like I'm not getting my needs met, or I don't feel like I'm being heard, or whatever it is, because each season of life affects your marriage pretty dramatically. Maybe your first year of marriage was easy, when everybody else said it was would be hard, but then you have kids and suddenly don't even know how to operate and keep your going. Or maybe it's empty nest or huge emotions that are fantastic but have changed the culture of your time together so that's part of life being organic.
Speaker 4:whether your marriage is thriving or not, the best marriages have those seasons. Maybe it's a health issue, or whatever. You're alive and so sometimes we just need well, I think all the time we need to tap into what the Lord truly has for us in every season of the life.
Speaker 3:That even the hardest seasons.
Speaker 4:As you are working together for the life of your marriage, the health of your marriage, you're actually building something stronger and stronger and stronger for the next thing that you know which will inevitably come.
Speaker 3:You know, the next inevitably come.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah, the next Whatever. Yeah so true.
Speaker 1:It's so true and there's so good wisdom in that. I love that, that wisdom and it's been something I've been saying about Scott and Jenny honestly since we met you guys that I just keep seeing this deep wisdom about marriage, wisdom about who the nature of God is. That is so unique, and I have seen the absolute fruit and benefits of the coaching that Jenny specifically does, because she has been coaching and mentoring Kate through some of the hard things that we have ended up actually talking about here in the podcast some of our parenting challenges and some of the things that we've been learning about as we've been moving into different stages of parenting, and I know that wisdom and comfort has been just such a huge benefit for you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely Working with Jenny has been incredible and such a blessing for me. She has such wisdom, and the wisdom not only specifically to our adoptive situation, but also the wisdom and the years and growing in her relationship with Jesus and being able to point me in that direction has been phenomenal, phenomenal. But Jenny's ability also just to meet me in the moment and where I am has also been so very needed, which is what I think a lot of us need when we come to talk about our challenges Someone to just meet us right where we are and understand.
Speaker 1:We say it all the time when we're talking about story work and anyone who's been listening to this podcast knows that term. But one of the most important things when we're doing story work because we're talking about hard wounded places and that's what often happens in even marriage coaching and one of the things that I think you and I both really value about Scott and Jenny is how well they hold those wounded, hurt places.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes and that it's not a place of. I can't believe that happened, I can't believe you did that, but it is truly a place of grace-filled holding that. I think is a beautiful model of how we are supposed to love each other in marriage, but it's also a model of how Jesus actually loves us very well.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, I agree 100%. Holding. That's kind of what I was saying. Holding where someone is is essential for us to be able to move forward. That's that's the challenge. So, um yeah, so I've had the personal benefit of being able to meet with Jenny and I think over the years we've had the benefit of Scott and Jenny.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh yes.
Speaker 2:Cause you guys are inevitably kind of a stage, stage and a half or whatever ahead of us in family life, so we definitely look to you guys to see how you've done it and to ask your thoughts, because we're in the stage of starting to launch kids and you guys have launched all of yours and they're getting married and doing all those amazing things, and so you have an incredible amount of wisdom.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Thank you, kate. I love our time. I really have been with you. I feel like every time I we end, I'm like oh, that was all about me.
Speaker 2:No, not at all, no way.
Speaker 4:But anyway, what I wanted to say was the beautiful thing is you can learn to be that person also for your spouse. I mean, we all need other voices in our lives and you've made that really clear. I'm so glad we have you, Brad and Kate, because we feel like we can be our most vulnerable with you, Rod and Kate, because we feel like we can be our most vulnerable with you. Everybody needs people to their lives and help them along. That have a different perspective have a clear.
Speaker 4:You know, involved over the years, you can actually learn how to be that person for your spouse as well. I will say that Scott has learned, and it took us both a while. We didn't know what was going on, but instead of just trying to fix or rescue or be the answer for me with some of my little T traumas, he learned how to sit with me and not blow it off. You know, we've learned not to.
Speaker 4:It's not about quoting a scripture verse it's gone or something like that, which I think the world realizes, but it's, you know, it's just taking a deep dive into our hearts, letting the Holy Spirit come and tell us what's actually true. Letting the Holy Spirit come and tell us what's actually true and help us with all the misbeliefs that we've had over years, and just continuing to reach out towards each other on behalf of our marriage and saying this is our one good life. We want this to be our one good marriage, and so what that's going to require something from us, but it's going to be that what we really want.
Speaker 3:That's awesome, yeah I'll just comment on that. My, my nature and training as an engineer is is a fixer. That's what I was paid to solve problems, you know, and come with the answer and don't come with the problem. Come with the answer, okay and uh. So it took me a little bit of time, as jenny said, to figure out.
Speaker 3:Oh, that's not always the best approach in a relationship sometimes it's a really perfect sometimes you just want the answer, but sometimes you just want to be held, you know. So just kind of navigating that and learning how to, when's the right time to just be quiet and hold your spouse, and when's a good time to listen and when's a good time to offer advice or solutions.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's really good.
Speaker 2:Finding that balance well, and scott, you just brought up like we all have to kind of know what, what bent we tend to go towards and you're probably I mean really gifted in coming up with answers. That's why you are an engineer and all those kinds of things. But we have to know how those things impact our marriage and how we can adjust, use those gifts sometimes but also realize we've got to hone some of those other skills, because marriage is complex and trying to hit the same button all the time isn't going to work.
Speaker 3:Yeah, your automatic response is not always the right one, yep.
Speaker 2:We have learned that many times.
Speaker 1:That's very, very true, but I think that's something that often catches couples surprised. So I mean, I just want to say that again, your automatic response, which we know is based on your past your story, your fears, your all kinds of things.
Speaker 2:Your giftings too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but those responses are often contrary to what's actually going to help your marriage and learning where they come from and sitting with them and then learning how to give your spouse what each other needs that's a, that's a different challenge.
Speaker 4:For sure? Yeah, for sure. And to give feedback, and learn how to give feedback from comments or responses that aren't what you wanted, in a way that doesn't just break it off and walk away. You know, yes, just finding know that you're for each other. You're on the same side. You know in that place to fight for your marriage and deeper intimacy, yeah that's really good. Oh, there's too much water under the bridge. Well, actually, bridges can be built and rivers can be redirected into streams that aren't as quiet. It's devastating.
Speaker 3:Yeah. It's never too late, never too late.
Speaker 4:No, that's for sure.
Speaker 1:So, as you guys have been working with couples, as you guys have been, you know, even growing together. In growing together, what are some of the areas or some of the passions that you've had that have brought you to a place of wanting to do more coaching with couples?
Speaker 4:So when we started doing the retreats, when we did the small groups, we were talking about all these different themes of love and trust and faithfulness, watchfulness, intimacy, pleasure just lots of great topics every week and sharing and getting feedback. And then when we did the retreats, we were really focusing on connection keeping the connection and intimacy with your spouse and it connection and intimacy with your spouse. And every time we'd have a retreat there would be at least one couple or maybe two that would come to us and they were opening up about these big rocks that seemed to be in the way, issues that maybe from day one of their marriage, maybe that had been developing and they were stuck. And that's what when we began more of a coaching we're not trained marriage counselors or therapists, we think of it more as ministry but there needed to be a little bit more practical and personalized responses for these couples and we found ourselves that we needed to go to the Lord with them, for them. They actually wanted, they needed the communication skills, possibly, but they wanted to also figure out or learn from us how to receive from the Lord, the Holy Spirit, things that they were not equipped to do but that God wanted to help them with how to see their spouse the way God sees them, how to listen to the Lord for what your spouse actually needs to hear in that moment, or even just start to learn how to pray for each other.
Speaker 4:Yeah, um. So there was the spiritual aspect, but then there were also really practical things and um. Usually there might be in the couple that's struggling. It seems like maybe one spouse has the bigger problem, you know is the one that's struggling with their sex life, or maybe there's one that's in depression or anxiety or whatever the case may be. We know that dramatically affects both and and um, so it just needs something a little bit more personalized, I guess I would say, than than what we were doing in groups.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 3:I was just going to say that kind of reinforce what she said, probably more eloquently than I could, but to really focus on the intersection of the spiritual and the marital and to bring those two together and then to add on to that practical, because the reason we don't just like give practical advice you know, list of 10 things you need to do to to improve your marriage is that when you get to number 11, if you haven't really transformed the way you view your marriage, you're, you're stuck at number 10.
Speaker 1:You don't know how to go on from there.
Speaker 3:So our focus is really on transformation of the way you view your marriage, giving you some practical things, some practical wins in the short term, but to really focus on transforming hearts and minds around how you view your spouse, how you view your marriage, even how you view yourself, in light of the truth that our relationship with Jesus is a great model for you know how we move downfield in marriage.
Speaker 4:And I think that I would want to make sure I would say that, yes, we're clearly believers. We come from, you know, a Christian view of marriage, but the reason is is because God is the one that created marriage and he wants it to be just the most wonderful thing. I mean, god is love and he is the one that can transform us. I can't transform Scott, and I certainly can't even really change myself, without God coming in and healing and really healing my wounds, giving me a softened heart towards things, with Scott equipping me with strength. I mean, I just don't know how people do marriage. It's not easy. I don't know how they do it without being able to call on God and receive from him for your marriage. He wants us to have the best sex lives on the planet. He wants us to just really understand what love really is.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. That's really good.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 1:We are really, really excited to have you guys coming on as another couple who is offering that love and support and care to help couples through Aldrich Ministries coaching. We're thrilled to just have that connection and resource. I think it's been something that God's been talking about in all of our hearts for many years and it's just really exciting to see some of that come to fruition. You're going to be starting working with some couples probably late summer 2024 and building into the fall as well.
Speaker 3:Right, looking forward to that.
Speaker 1:So we're so excited with that and we just know that it's going to be such a blessing for many of the couples that are going to be reaching out, and I'm sure some of them are listening now, and so if you're interested, if you'd like to learn more, you can go to aldrichministriescom. There'll be a link in the show notes where you can find out a little bit more about that coaching the show notes where you can find out a little bit more about that coaching. We will also put links in the show notes to Scott and Jenny's pages where they talk more about their marriage ministry and have some of their online videos, have some of their blog posts and just a whole lot of wisdom there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, scott and Jenny, before we wrap up, we love to ask, um, we just ask a few questions kind of at the end just to see, like, what's going on in your current life. So my first one is what are you doing right now to keep your marriage alive?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think for us, the our best part of the day is um is because we're retired.
Speaker 3:We have quiet times in the mornings, in the mornings, out on our, either on a porch or on our patio, or if it's not too hot somewhere outside, if it's not too cold, or sitting by the fire in the wintertime, and we just get to be before the Lord together. It doesn't mean necessarily that we're even doing the same things, but we're. We're seeking the Lord together and we're sharing the highlights of what God is saying to us individually. Sometimes we'll do an encounter time together, but it's just really. I think that's probably the thing that underpins our entire day.
Speaker 4:Yeah, become the anchor for the rest of what's going on in our lives. Are those times.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 4:And it's not a religious thing and it's not a legalistic thing. Whoa, we go to sit down and have our quiet time. It's like oh, I cannot wait, I'll make your coffee, make my tea. And we just sit down and we may not even talk together, but usually we do.
Speaker 2:I like that so much.
Speaker 4:I would agree with that and I'll say, for me, I'm just going to be really bold, because that's what I do Reading right now. The book that I'm looking at is Sexually Confident Woman and it's surprising me completely. I read it when I was younger, but at my age I need to keep that confidence up and get those ideas. It doesn't end just because you're getting older.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to. Yeah, I love that book by Shannon. It's a really good book.
Speaker 4:Yeah, for sure, that's great, Even that part of our life, and you know going.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure. No, absolutely, that's really good. Okay, what is something that makes you guys laugh right now? Cause we think laughter is just so important.
Speaker 3:So we're we're always on the lookout for um shows that are light, easy and funny.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 3:And, and, and, and, and and. Relatively clean, yep. And so we're always trying to find something that either a series or something that's um, that we can watch together or listen to together. That that's funny. The other thing we also enjoy is watching videos of our grandchild.
Speaker 4:Oh, my gosh, our little Ivy is the funniest thing she is a hoot. And there's this grandparent magic that has happened, where, if we see any of the three girls, you just immediately start to smile. You feel good all over, aww. And she laughs, and laughs. She is the funniest little thing.
Speaker 2:I have seen her. She's adorable, so that's really cool. I love that. Um, okay, and so then, what is something that you're doing that brings you rest? Because we also think that's such an important spiritual discipline not to make it sound religious, but learning how to rest. Well, what do you guys do? Now that helps you rest.
Speaker 3:Yeah, rest is huge and we're, we're. I think we're getting the message that sometimes less is more.
Speaker 4:So saying no to some things. It's really hard for me to say no, and you know I have to say you know just, either just say, okay, this is something in front of us that we just feel in our heart Heck, yes, we're going to do that. But we're usually not saying heck or heck, no, we are not doing that.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yes, Then you got to try to say no and say no to anything. It has been hard for me, so I also have learned to put X's on my calendar. Okay, just literally draw on pencil X's before and after things that are going to take a lot out of us. And and I'm trying to tell myself when I go to pin something in there to go, yeah, that day's not free. It's really hard, but good end in the end. That gives us margin and speed I love that yeah, I do too, walking in the woods here on the mountains.
Speaker 2:Walking outside is also also good yeah, yeah well, that's good for people to know, because you guys are in the stage of retirement and I think many of us not in the stage of retirement. Look at that as like I will have so much time to do whatever I want and to rest, but there are new things coming along like it's not. It's not. Yes, yeah well we're.
Speaker 3:We're in the middle of a year-long building project, building a garage and guest house adjacent to our house, which I'm doing all the finish work myself. So I've been okay. That's been my more or less my full-time job since november, and so I'm trying to learn to. Hey, I don't have a deadline, I'm retired now.
Speaker 3:I don't have to go into slave driver mode right, which is my def, my default, and to say you know what I'm going to take the day off today and we're going to do something different, or we're going to go spend a week with our granddaughter, or whatever it might be for us is a heck.
Speaker 4:Yes yes, so that means we also have aging parents and that, okay, become, you know, a pretty big part of our life right now too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I like it, that's good guys, so good. And, yes, we're totally okay with that language. Dan Allender calls them heaven yeses and hell noes.
Speaker 4:Oh, that's good.
Speaker 2:And I think that's spot on, it's important.
Speaker 4:You just need some of that structure.
Speaker 2:Yes, absolutely, 100% 100%.
Speaker 1:Guys, it's always a pleasure to talk with you and just to enjoy the time together. You have so much wisdom and I know that it's so beneficial for all the people that you're helping currently with your marriage ministry, with the retreats that you do, and I'm just so excited that some people will be able to access that through online coaching as well.
Speaker 2:So I think that's just going to be great.
Speaker 4:Thank you, guys for inviting us on. There's no one else we can imagine coming under, that we feel more safe and supported and aligned. I'm just really thankful for you guys.
Speaker 2:Us too, guys. It's very mutual, for sure.
Speaker 1:Well, thank you so much, and we're just so excited to be growing the ministry and seeing what God's going to do together. So until next time on Still Becoming One. I'm Brad Aldrich.
Speaker 2:I'm Kate Aldrich. Be kind and take care of each other.
Speaker 1:Still Becoming One is a production of Aldrich Ministries. For more information about Brad and Kate's coaching ministry courses and speaking opportunities, you can find us at aldrichministriescom. For podcast show notes and links to resources in all of our social media. Be sure to visit us at stillbecomingonecom and don't forget to like this episode wherever you get your podcasts, and be sure to follow us to continue your journey on still becoming one.