When it began, it was as if the whole world conspired to bring the two of you together.
All the stars aligned.
The universe was guiding you.
In the beginning, you’d think to yourself: what if you’d turned left instead of right that day? Or gone to the coffee shop ACROSS the street instead? What if you’d never sent that text? You might not have gotten together at all. What I tragedy that would have been.
For all the world, it seemed you two—your couplehood… was meant to be.
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But now… with this irreparable rift between you, you question everything. Doubt everything. You wonder, how could you have been so naive?
The pain you feel—the PHYSICAL pain you feel—this was NOT meant to be.
There’s no divine providence here. This cannot be God’s will.
It hurts too much.
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After a breakup, the emotional devastation, however total, is no puzzle. It’s natural, even… rational, to grieve… to wallow in sorrow for a time.
But the spiritual reckoning that comes with heartbreak… that’s what pulls the rug from beneath your feet. And when you fall, there’s no sudden stop on hard ground, but only… more… falling.
Soon, there’s no light. You’ve fallen into a hole… black, bottomless and terrifying.
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That’s as good a place to start as any.
First, to end your descent…
With your mouth closed, take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold it for a moment. And then let it out.
Breathing through your nose… stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system, improving your sleep, your mental clarity, even your digestion.
Not bad for a couple of nostrils. Hm.
If you can, continue breathing in this way for the rest of this meditation.
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And now, to raise you from the depths.
Bring to mind—without any judgement—the role YOU played in the relationship that was. Whether the separation was your decision, or not… Whether you were treated poorly, or were yourself less than kind… with a breath in… accept the role you played. And with your exhale, let it go… let it loose.
What happened… happened not to you, but FOR you, to serve your HIGHEST good.
For the moment, simply TRUST that this is so.
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You will never know, in this lifetime, the reasons for your karma.
Long ago in another life, perhaps you splashed mud on your companion. Or perhaps it was they who splashed mud on you.
Either way, karma is never retribution. There are no cosmic vendettas. That’s the stuff of fiction… and pop songs.
What happens in each lifetime then is no more than the rounding of a circle, a divine shape bending back onto itself. Karma is expressed, and once expressed, you are released forevermore from it. You’re free.
The end of a relationship, then, is cause, not for sorrow, but for celebration.
You know this, in your heart. Even in the midst of your struggle. Beneath the wailing and the gnashing, you hear a soft voice whispering: this is a gift. This is a gift. This is a gift… for you.
At your very center, there is peace. It IS there.
This does not mean your pain was not felt. The pain is real, but the hurt… is a fiction. You bear its burden for a time, but you do not become it.
Though you fight, be not the warrior.
Dear one, regret not one second of your life.
Accept all that was, and all that is. And be at peace, each day.
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Of course, we know, no matter how calm the ocean in which you swim, the weight of your remembered pain may pull you down into her depths.
Lest you drown, we offer this… spiritual life preserver.
As you go to sleep tonight, call to mind the one who is at the center of your upset. See them standing, simply, in a field, or on a street… during the day, or night… in a heatwave, or a hurricane…
What matters is only that you see them as their best self, peaceful, at ease, and open.
Now imagine your own best self, standing before them… also peaceful, at ease, open… and ready to communicate your deepest truth.
You are both surrounded by brilliant light.
These are your higher selves. And your higher selves… are going to have a conversation.
They do not need words to communicate. The message that passes between them… is something like this:
I forgive you for whatever mud you may have splashed on me in this or any lifetime. Please forgive me for whatever mud I may have splashed on you in this or any lifetime.
The message passes from your higher self to theirs. And from theirs back to yours.
After floating in the serene absolution of the moment for a time, you both agree to forgive one another, for everything, forever.
Your earth selves may keep their distance in this lifetime, but your higher selves know the truth: each of you played a role in the other’s unfoldment… just as you were always meant to.
It was as if the whole world conspired to bring the two of you together.
All the stars aligned.
The universe WAS guiding you.
And it always will.
May you be at peace.
