The Self-Care Party for Moms

How To Prepare Children For Your Moments of Self-Care

Elizabeth Camargo Garcia, LMFT Episode 11

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On a journey towards self-care and wellness in processing my grief, I discovered the power of solitude and the importance of preparing my children for a brief period of my absence. Through this personal experience, I have gleaned some valuable insights on ensuring children's safety, keeping promises, and the significance of a nurturing self-care mantra. I invite you to listen in, find encouragement, and download your own copy of the self-care mantra that I created to encourage you to give yourself permission to practice self-care.

As we delve deeper into the realm of self-care, I share my tried and tested steps to building an effective routine that can seamlessly blend into your everyday life. We'll also talk about introducing self-care to children, its overwhelming benefits, and how you can take your self-care habits a notch higher. And guess what? You can look forward to a weekly boost of self-care in your inbox – don't forget to subscribe to my newsletter! Let's embark together on this enriching journey towards a healthier, happier you.

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Music Credits: Flybird Audio Jazz by Jamendo Music

Disclaimer: The information provided on this site is strictly for educational purposes. Do not rely on this information as professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Consult with your medical provider before engaging in any physical activity that may be contraindicated to your health. If you need medical advice, research and consult with a medical professional in your area.

Speaker 1:

This past July I spent some time in solitude for about a week. I'm not sure if you know, but both my beloved father and cousin who was more like a little sister to me died last fall, within a little over a month from each other, due to some homery modeling, water intrusion in our new house and a few other situations. Our life just kept going and I had been feeling like the energizer bunny, just without any moments to really grieve, at least not the way I wanted to grieve and the way I was discovering of myself and the way I grieve people. It wasn't until the summer time, with the help of my mother-in-law, that things seemed to slow down a bit and that both her and my husband recommended I finally take that week off that I had imagined myself to take on my own to process my thoughts and feelings around the loss of both of those very significant people to me. I thought about it and, with a bit of reservation, I accepted and did exactly that. Let me fill you in on how I did this. Hello and thank you for tuning in today to Dear Mommy. This party is just getting started. The place where you will find self-care, peaceful and fun parenting and wellness resources at your fingertips. There's been a pause on this side of town, but I'm happy to be back. I hope you are ready for all that is coming your way. Let's dive in.

Speaker 1:

In my introduction I stated that I had some reservations about getting away. This was because of my children, who are now almost seven and they are definitely aware and curious and question everything now and are no longer those tiny toddlers that didn't need an explanation. So I wondered how they would take the news of me being away for so long. Based on this, I had only been away no more than a weekend's worth. So here's the first thing that I did. I set the setting and importance of the situation. I plan to fill them in on what was coming up ahead of time. I made sure to involve my children in the known with a few days or so in advance, so they have time to process and ask questions. Too much time in advance may lead to them forgetting and having a hard time later, or it may lead to greater anxiety with so many days ahead in thinking of what could happen if mommy was gone. So in this conversation I made sure to just calculate enough time that made sense for them.

Speaker 1:

I made sure to state that being away was something important for mommy to do and that it would help mommy care for herself, which would contribute to mommy being a better and happier mom. I allowed room for questions. Secondly, I made sure to cover safety. Children thrive with the familiar feeling safe and loved. We covered that nothing would change for them during this time and that daddy would be around as usual and grandma would love and care for them during the daytime while dad was at work, and this allowed them to feel secure. Lastly, we covered the time away and how we would be in constant communication. We covered how they would be able to communicate and FaceTime me anytime of the day or night, and I would be available for both of them. Both my children were in acceptance of my plans and also admitted how much they were going to miss me. This broke my heart, but I know that this was important for me to do and I took this opportunity to normalize that it is okay to miss people and even healthy to do so.

Speaker 1:

So I'm wondering are you asking how my trip went? Well, it went beautifully. My daughter did cry the first few couple of nights and she had my husband call me late at night to let me know how much she wished I was with her and I validated her feelings. But, most importantly, I made sure I answered and kept my end of the bargain. I made her feel safe and made promises that I knew I could keep.

Speaker 1:

After the first few days they played and laughed and got closer to their grandmother, and I came home with a peaceful heart around my grave. I took time to journal, reflect, feel myself with gratitude and speak to God. I came home ready to dance with my kids around the living room to Friday. I'm in love. So, my fellow mom. I realized how much guilt we feel and sometimes just stepping away for an hour to do some shopping on our own. But if you start normalizing self-care with your children at an early age, they too will learn to see what that looks like and how to begin to set healthy boundaries in their life. So I hope that this will help you apply some of these conversations with your child when the time comes. If they are yet too little to understand, or vice versa, if they are older, you can speak to them the same. It is never too late to model wellness behavior.

Speaker 1:

I created a self-care mantra a few years ago that I would love to share with you today that may be helpful to you as you work through this. Download your copy today. I'll make sure to include it in the show notes and allow yourself to recite it daily when you need some mama self-care encouragement. Thank you for listening today. I look forward to serving you on this platform once again.

Speaker 1:

Looking for more self-care tips, make sure you sign up for my weekly newsletter, where you will receive one easy self-care tip every Monday that is easy to weave into your busy life. Head on over to the link in the show notes and sign up today. Also, I would love and appreciate your reviews, so please don't forget to review this episode if you are enjoying it and make sure to subscribe to listen on your favorite podcast station Until next week. Bye-bye. Hi, I'm Elizabeth Camargo Garcia, licensed marriage and family therapist and founder of Calamine, an organization that helps moms establish self-care routines through courses, book, clubs and community. A quick disclaimer yes, I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, but none of the educational material mentioned in this podcast is meant to be psychotherapy or medical advice. If you need these type of professional services, please seek the help of a medical professional in your area. You.