The Crucial Role of Fathers in Early Childhood

What does Father's Day truly mean to you? Is it just a regular day, or does it hold a deeper significance? We're taking a hard look at the history and evolution of Father's Day, pondering the gap of 58 years between its inception and the first celebration of Mother's Day. We're peeling back layers of societal expectations and media portrayals of fatherhood, and getting into the meat of what makes a good Father's Day.

Granted motherhood is crucial, particularly during the early months of a baby's life, but what about the significance of fathers during this period? We're discussing how fathers can and should support the vital bonding and nurturing period. We're comparing the impacts of breastfeeding and formula feeding, and shedding light on the father's role as the baby starts to move and eat solid foods. As we examine the science behind parental bonding, we're emphasizing the importance of both parents in raising a healthy child.

As co-hosts, we're not just discussing fatherhood; we're living it. From our personal experiences and sacrifices to our reflections on what it means to be a father, we're sharing it all. So join us as we navigate the journey of fatherhood, appreciating the sacrifices and triumphs, and creating lasting family memories.

Transcript

Byron : 0:02

Hello and welcome to our podcast series, the Father Factor Podcast. I'm your host, byron Ricks, and joining me is my co-host and good friend, josh Wombrod. The objective is to give a voice to fathers who are not able to be with their kids, mothers who are raising kids without fathers, and children who, unfortunately, are growing up without fathers in their lives. Hello everyone, this is Byron. Welcome to The Father Factor. Today I'm with my co-host I'm sorry Josh Wombrod, and my other co-host, brandon Ricks. This is right after fathers day, and so we're going to talk a little bit about fathers day, but first I want to give a shout out to Jay Love for that introduction. It takes more than sex to be a dad. It takes what's those lyrics? You know those lyrics.

Josh: 1:10

Yeah, more than sex to be a dad, more than good to beat the bad, it takes more. It takes more. It takes more, more.

Brandon: 1:18

More.

Byron : 1:21

So the question is what does it take for a father to have a good fathers day? I remember when I was a kid. When I was a kid, i bought my mother for mothers day. I bought my mother a mop and bucket and I thought I was doing a good thing, because she complained about the old mop and bucket she had and she was frustrated and upset with me. Yeah, yeah, i can see that I thought I was helping her, i was giving her something that she really needed. But before we get going further, i want to talk about this. I want to read something to you guys The nation's first fathers day. Anybody got any ideas? First fathers day.

Brandon: 2:06

No, I have no idea.

Byron : 2:07

No idea. It was celebrated on June 19, 1910 in the state of Washington. However, it was not until 1972, 58 years after President Woodrow Wilson made mother's day an official holiday that the day honoring fathers became a nationwide holiday in the United States. 58 years after mother's day, they made fathers day an official holiday. What does that say to you about fathers?

Josh: 2:47

It's like what Chris Rock said The only thing that left for dad is the big piece of chicken. No, I mean, it seems a bit delayed, wouldn't you say?

Byron : 2:57

Well, i would. That's one of the reasons I wanted to talk with us today. Why, what fathers? it seems like it's contradicting, because in the 50s, some of the popular sitcoms was Father Knows Best My Three Sons and a host of others that I can't think of because, though I watched those, i watched them in the 1670s, so they were reruns black and white reruns but they were popular And it seemed like fathers were honored and celebrated, but yet when I read this stat, it was 58 years later, it was 1972, before we, as fathers, were honored on a national level. So something is contradicting there. For me At least, i can't put the dots together. Maybe you guys can help me. What do you think about that?

Josh: 3:51

I think it's just because, as a sum, dad, you're doing what you're supposed to do. That was the expectation, possibly in the sense of why do we need to acknowledge this? What are you doing? what you're supposed to do? We men, we fathers, we husbands. However, there's also a you're talking about older TV. Then there's also the shift in TV that will be little dads, homer Simpsons and all that. So dad has always been taken serious, right, but maybe not celebrated because we are simply doing what we are supposed to do. But then and this is just a thought I have we introduce I don't even know how to label this, but the generation or the TV or the media that came out portrayed men as fools and just less than right or dumb. And then those that are standing out, we should get celebrated right because we're not dumb as Homer. But I mean, we can argue it any different way. But, to answer your question specifically, i wasn't alive then, so I don't know. But you're talking about TV and media I wasn't alive then Mainstream, like what is the main?

Josh: 5:10

what was the mainstream media then, though? Because that's typically what dictates our culture?

Byron : 5:15

If we look back at some of the guests we've had, who are older than me even, and they talk about their fathers because they grew up with their fathers. A lot of our earlier guests Harvey, i think, both Harveys I think of, i can't even think of other names right now but they grew up with their fathers and they all said that they felt like their fathers loved them, though their fathers in many cases didn't say they loved them, and I think Harvey said he was like 40 or something of that nature when his father said I love you for the first time, or at least he remember him saying that. And yet they were strong fathers. If you again, you look at TV, you look at society women couldn't vote, women couldn't do own land. In many cases Women couldn't do a lot of things but be mothers Now, and that's what was expected of them. So maybe Mother's Day was to patronize them.

Brandon: 6:09

Okay. So I think that there's some. You know, i was sitting here processing, right, looking at these dates and I was asking myself that they feel like there's something significant here, because, you know, politicians do things to garner support right from their base and to galvanize the nation in some way. This says 1972 is when Woodrow Wilson made Father's Day official nationwide.

Byron : 6:38

No, no, not 72.

Brandon: 6:39

Yeah, however, it was not until 1972.

Byron : 6:42

It was 1910 when he made.

Brandon: 6:44

No, no, no, no, no. The nation's first Father's Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910. In the state of Washington. Right, it was not national. However, it was not until 1972.

Byron : 6:55

Right, but you said, woodrow Wilson made So.

Brandon: 6:58

However, not until 1972, 58 years after.

Byron : 7:01

President Woodrow.

Brandon: 7:02

Wilson made Mother's Day. Okay, Okay, yes after he made.

Byron : 7:05

I'm with you, I'm with you, I'm gonna try.

Brandon: 7:06

Okay, after President Woodrow Wilson made Mother's Day official. Okay, 58 years later after Woodrow Wilson. So my question is what significant event happened during that time period?

Byron : 7:22

Between in 1972?

Brandon: 7:23

No 1972 was when the Father's Day. I'm talking about Mother's Day.

Byron : 7:27

Well, probably Woman.

Brandon: 7:27

Suffrage right. 1914 is the date of World War I.

Byron : 7:33

Okay.

Brandon: 7:34

So the nation is going through a 1914 to 1918 was World War I. Okay, that was at the boom of the manufacturing age, correct, industrial age, all right, men are in factories working and the societal order is much different during that timeframe. So I think that there is a lot that has to do with some of what Josh is saying in terms of the expectations of fathers, that there was a bigger commitment to the family dynamic. What we would now is not a normal family dynamic but the traditional family dynamic of the man working, the mother in the home being a homemaker and that being kind of what the norm was right. And so you see these shifts within American society and culture changing the dynamics of that, especially in World War II, when you get the Rosie, the Riveter and all that kind of stuff right, when women start to go to the factories, because we're sending all of the war age men overseas to die in the European war that they were fighting in. So I think that there's a lot that happened between 1914 and 1938 in terms of the roles of women in society, and in American society The men were, as Josh said, celebrated in the home.

Brandon: 9:06

I don't think there needed to be a national holiday for fathers because fathers were celebrated already. They were the pinnacle of society and the ones that were looked up to in society. You didn't need a holiday to celebrate fathers. Likewise, i think mothers having that, need to be recognized for all the things that they did that seemingly were menisculable or not menisculable, but menial tasks or tasks that were not as praised the glorious, glamorous tasks. Right, i think that there's a part of that that plays into it in terms of just the psyche of the nation and how we identify holidays.

Byron : 9:50

I think. well, since we're all speculating here a little bit, I still believe that what you said is taking place can happen, but I'm also still believing that they're patronizing women and mothers because they celebrate them and give them gifts and they're able to have their own day. Women enjoy that, Don't you think?

Josh: 10:22

Oh yeah, of course I know my wife like being celebrated. I mean it could be a dual purpose. Some might take it from a heart of patronization and the others might really be wanting to celebrate them. Because if we had you said World War, i all that you think about where was dad? A lot of times dad was out fighting the war. Mom was back home doing it all. So I mean I agree with you. I think some of it was a. You know, it was kind of like a backhanded compliment, right?

Byron : 10:57

Well, I didn't say backhanded compliment.

Josh: 10:59

Well, i mean to patronize. I'm going to take that as kind of like.

Byron : 11:02

Yeah, no, no, i feel you. I feel you, You know. Here's a point I pulled up here. The history of Father Day goes back to 1908, when a church in West Virginia held a sermon to honor 362 men who had been killed the previous year in a coal mine explosion. This was the country's first ever event to strictly honor fathers, but it was just a one and done thing, at least in that community. So you had to have 10 people die, was it 10? 362 people die. Then they celebrated fathers. How was Mother's Day committed Not committed, but created? Why was it? Anybody can look at that.

Josh: 11:47

Let me see Mother's Day. Let's look that first Mother's Day up 1914.

Brandon: 11:57

According to the math here Okay.

Byron : 12:00

Mother's Day the official Mother's Day holiday arose in the 1900s as a result of the effort of Anna Jarvis, daughter of Anne Reeves Jarvis, following her mother's 1905 death. Anna Jarvis conceived of Mother's Day as a way of honoring the sacrifices mothers made for their children.

Brandon: 12:25

Yeah, so that's again, that's in line with what I was saying, because the, you know, josh made a point of saying that fathers are kind of expected to do these certain things, but I think also, too, mothers are expected to do, you know, uh, the certain types of roles. And even now, uh, in despite in spite of the feminist movements efforts to change the dynamic of how we view relationships, even in the court systems, we know that women get custody of the children, primarily because there's still, despite all of the um messaging that gets pushed on us, there's still an understanding of new data.

Brandon: 13:10

Yeah, there's still this like this default position of the mother should have the child because of the maternal instinct, right, And so mothers taking care of children is the natural order of things, especially in the infant stages, the early stage of development.

Josh: 13:26

I agree with that The early the early age is, i mean, that's, that's everything. But after a certain age and I'm not discrediting their mom, but there's a certain age when the child tends to stick to dad more. They want to see what dad does, how dad moves and things like that. So I mean I'll be honest, i'll just, you know, might upset some people but oh well, i don't care for little babies, i don't like kids that are real young. They're just my own kids included. I love them. But the reality is is that there's very little purpose I can serve that child at that age other than provision and protection. That baby don't want me. It's hungry. I can't do nothing for you. Here you go, Right, so that's me. Now they start getting interactive and fun. Let's go.

Brandon: 14:14

I'm dad of the year. I agree with him, though I don't below two years old. I'm cool. Yes, i don't, i like. I like humans that can follow directors?

Josh: 14:27

I don't yeah.

Byron : 14:28

Babies are cute, He's right though I'm gonna have to acquiesce from you guys.

Brandon: 14:33

Well, i mean, okay, but babies are cute. but I agree, i don't want to. my wife loves little babies, my wife too, you know.

Byron : 14:45

But once they're, once they're ready Once they're two or three.

Brandon: 14:47

Yeah, Yeah, it's like once they start walking and talking like I'm ready to roll.

Josh: 14:52

That's when our clock hits and it's like all right bet, let's go, yeah, let's go, do stuff You know. And then they're like, oh, i can't deal with this, no more. They out of their mind. Come on, Let's go. And it's, it's. I think it's a, i think it's a natural thing, you know I really do? I mean I? that's just how I've told my wife that from the beginning. You know I don't have a lot of interest in little. all right, cool.

Byron : 15:12

So do you think that contributes to why one of the reasons a man can actually leave a woman with the newborn Oh man, that's a great question He doesn't have that connection, I think.

Josh: 15:26

I think that's possible because, see, the one thing is is that if dad in the home is connecting with that child, regardless of how much we care for it or not, right And at that age there's still that connection there, there's still a love and appreciation and desire to be there. But if a father is not in the home during that time, it's going to be harder, i think, for them to connect as time goes on, because they're so used to not having that daily interaction that it's more optional, i guess.

Byron : 15:56

I'm trying to think. I remember when he was born. I'm trying to think of where I you know? I don't know guys, i don't know.

Brandon: 16:03

You ever see. You didn't need to be there as much though I mean. That's just I mean that's not true.

Byron : 16:06

I was there. I was there.

Brandon: 16:09

No, okay, it's, it's. You were there because you were a good father, but what we're saying is necessity, so you guys.

Byron : 16:15

You guys are good fathers.

Brandon: 16:17

No, I was there too.

Byron : 16:18

I mean, it was it depends. Okay, I'll get you Psychologically. We were a male Physiologically.

Brandon: 16:27

Physiologically, the baby needs the mother more than the father in the first nine to 12 months of life. Just Because we don't have breast milk, just for that very But all baby mothers don't breastfeed. Okay, that's a whole another conversation to itself.

Brandon: 16:47

Most of the women in the world are breastfeeding. Okay, it's only in the Western modern places where we have this poison formula thing going on. But if you are in Somalia, you are breastfeeding your baby like this. There's, there's no question about it. You're not putting formula in a bottle. Okay, most, the majority of the world's women are breastfeeding, all right. So, yes, and even in America, if you talk to most pediatricians, they will recommend Breastfeeding over formula. That's why they have lactation specialists.

Brandon: 17:17

Breastfeeding is not only from a source of nutrition, but it is the best for the baby in terms of connection, the, the, yeah, the nurturing time that the baby needs in order to grow and develop. Okay, so, as a man, i cannot provide that for a child, even if I have a bottle that's been made for me And I'm sitting there holding the bed as they, as they are growing and making sure that they are being developed appropriately Physiologically. That's just science. You know, if a baby is born and there's no woman around, a man is screwed. You can't do anything. You're gonna need to go even to get a. Let's say the mom's not around, there's no formula. You're gonna have to go get What are they? What do they call those Becca Back in the day, the, the women that would breastfeed a baby if the mother couldn't, there was. There's a certain name for it. You have to go get another woman who is.

Byron : 18:11

Lactating lactating right so that happens with slavery all the time, the, the black slave Fit the the masses baby.

Brandon: 18:19

Yeah, that exactly. So we can't share a toilet, yeah, i know, but but that's the point I think that we're trying to make you know, byron, is that the first, you know, year of Physiological development for a child is is Highly dependent upon the mother. Now, of course, the father plays a supportive role in this, you know, but that that supportive role, really, honestly, is supporting the mother more so than it is the child. You're, you're there as a, as a Father and a if you are a husband in that regard, okay, as a partner, okay, to make sure that the mother's stress levels are down, that she's comfortable, so that she can breastfeed, because if she cannot breastfeed, then you have a sick baby, you have a underweight baby Okay, and then you have a baby that's so weak that when they finally latch, they fall asleep while they're breastfeeding, which is an issue for babies that are born, you know, underweight or pre-me's okay, they fall asleep after they latch, they can't get enough nutrients.

Brandon: 19:24

So all these things are really really serious, especially in that first you know six to nine months of life and then, once they start putting some weight on and they start Latching better and they start being able to crawl around, then, you know, you start to see that less of a dependency on being milk fed, especially when they start being able to eat solid foods. Right, and that's where I think Josh and I are saying that we enjoy that Interaction. Once they start to get to the point to where they're moving around, they're less dependent upon that food because if I can take the baby out and I don't got to worry about do I got a bottle, i can go over here and get his kid a banana and we can keep it.

Josh: 19:58

I mean there's a more interactive as well. I mean because and it's not that a father doesn't desire that baby and want to hold it and play with and all that It's just there's a limited amount of interaction of father and a baby can really have, because the baby at the end of the day is okay, yeah, cool. They smile at you and cool, and then it's like I'm hungry, yeah right. And then they want to sell that a lot of time they want the scent of the mother. So what we used to do I used to put a string as, mind you, i didn't have when it was just Jalina and I at the time I take a string from one of her mom's shirts and I just put her on her forehead. You know, like you triggered you know, tricking the baby.

Brandon: 20:36

Yeah, tricking the baby.

Josh: 20:37

You know saying but but as a thing and I was a single father, thankfully not at such it when she was young, young, young right, but I mean there's a reality I was not breastfed at all, my mom, my mom didn't breastfeed me, she told me. The nurse at the hospital told her that she couldn't, it would be bad for me or something. She just took her word for it. So, but my mother and I also don't have the deepest bond, my daughter and her mother, that's an interesting statement you just made she, she also.

Josh: 21:09

She breastfed at first, but she wanted to get back to smoking and drinking and all this stuff. You know we is, we as teenagers. So we realized we could cover formula and she threw on formula at that point. They don't have the greatest bond either.

Byron : 21:26

Well, that begs a question I don't know that I want to put. I don't know that I want to ask that question though, so I'm only I'm not gonna ask that question.

Josh: 21:34

No, i mean I get the question you're going towards and I know it's a. It's a slippery one because there are some others out That there's health issues, as babies with health issues. Like Brandon said, my son had a hard time latching Because he was born underweight, and my wife actually. I'm glad he said that because I didn't know that My wife was blaming herself. She was a failure as a mother. She couldn't produce enough milk. She, they feel like there's a lot of.

Josh: 22:00

So you know we're not knocking anybody that has health issues or anything like that. We're just simply stating that. You know, for My self and my daughter's mother, There's also a major age factor in there too.

Byron : 22:13

These were teenagers, These were teenage kids children that are able to breastfeed Increases their chances of bonding with their mom and Making them a healthier baby.

Josh: 22:29

Yeah, I mean that's a Scientific base.

Brandon: 22:35

Yeah, and also, too, it's, it's, they've done, they've done all kind of scientific trials where they have taken babies, okay, and they you know they've they've taken babies and trials and they've fed them the The appropriate nutrient value, okay, and they gave them no connection time with the mother and other babies. They gave the same nutrition value, but they gave them connection time with the mother and the babies that had connection with the mother grew faster. We're happier, okay, brain develop quicker, all right. So there is science that has proven this, we know this to be true, and which is, which is for the reason why you know again, a new infant needs to be with the mother, and I think that's important to make this point because, you know, if you listen to this podcast, you you may, obviously it's called the father factor and we're gonna be advocates for, for, for fathers and for men, but it takes two people to raise a child, okay, and this idea that there is this single parent kind of Advocate advocating Advocacy in this country needs to be broken.

Brandon: 23:50

You need both and but there's certain stages of development Where there's a dance, right, there's, there's, there's there's times I know Josh, you probably relate to this and Byron, you can too, is where your wife has come to you and say I can't do anything with this kid, you need to come over here. And then the dad comes and is able to step in and speak in a manner in which, or guide and direct In a way that the mother cannot do, and that is fine as well. There's a there's a team dynamic.

Josh: 24:18

You're really side-swiping a dangerous topic for me, and that is The difference between men and women, fathers and mothers, or whatever right they say. Mothers are more nurturing, right in general, which I agree. In general, i agree. However, women are also What's the word? More emotionally erratic when upset than a man. So I can see my wife lose her patience, a lot wild, i'll tell you a lot of wild.

Josh: 24:53

You know she get raw quicker than I do. You know mine Grows, hers is faster and then so I've heard her dish out punishments that are just really grounded 10 years. Okay, like dad's likely not gonna, we gonna step there's. There's different balance, But I'm also not gonna do as well with the skin knee as she is. So that's my point is there are different things where we step in. And going back to the breastfeeding right, There is research to show that mothers who breastfeed tend to touch their infants more, Are more responsive to their infants and spend more time in a mutual gaze With infants during feedings than bottle feeding.

Byron : 25:33

Well, it is Proving that infants need touch. Yes, there was a study that Happened, oh goodness, now, maybe 50 years ago, you know because I was trying to find it here, but I don't know the exact name of it anymore when I was in college We studied it, we learned about it, should I say, and they were having problems with pre-meets dying and So what they did was They had some pre-meets and they put them in incubators and they hired women to come in and hold 10 of these babies Every day, x amount of hours a day, and nurture them, hold them and talk to them and rub their little cheeks and all that. And all 10 of those babies lived. They other 10 that they didn't do that after three died and again you have to check me on the numbers. They stopped the test and said, okay, we have enough experience Here with this. So I do concur with you that a Baby needs that bonding early on and I'm sure the breastfeeding and the nutrition and the bond helps. I Know for me.

Byron : 26:49

I took care of my son. I Changed diapers, but when I got to the grandkids I didn't change no diapers anymore. I'll take care of them, but I take them to the my son or my daughter-in-law to he tea. You got to take this one. So, man, i don't want to do diapers So, and also I did appreciate Them taking them somewhere once they got potty trained. No, you know, when they got potty training he'll tell you a whole new world like a lab.

Byron : 27:20

They got potty trained. I said, okay, we can roll now.

Josh: 27:23

Yeah, we can go somewhere, Let's go, but not that, so I agree with that aspect of it.

Josh: 27:29

So here's another. Here's another thing I pulled up, right. Okay, i asked the question What is the how important of is effect with dad and to a newborn? And it says in a baby's earliest days, fathers can provide consistent nurturing and care. These are the building blocks of the bond that they will share with the baby forever. So, going back to what you said, Right, what about a father? Is that why it's easier for fathers to be out? Well, i think that's the proof is, if that father's not in the home, those early days are just. So what you call it strengthening that bond. It even says even before birth, baby spend many weeks getting to know their father's voice. So there is still. There is a bond.

Byron : 28:18

But we do know that they say dad, dad, before they say mama.

Brandon: 28:21

They do. That just has to do with I know what a brain develop. I'm easy to say that my first word was neither one of those.

Josh: 28:27

Oh, you know what we might have to call my mom if y'all don't believe it, but she told me my first word was Bacardi.

Brandon: 28:34

I was gonna say beer, like bet me some beer Bacardi, bacardi.

Byron : 28:38

Bacardi that that was your mother's first words beer.

Brandon: 28:41

Yeah, there's something that I that I actually I learned when I was again in development of psychology. You know, the first five years are paramount Right for a child. If you develop that child in that first five years, they that's typically who they are going to be Right. Oh yeah, and what's interesting about that is that, you know, i in Proverbs, the first chapter, it says you know, train a child in the way they should go, and when they grow old They do not depart from it. So I find that in the ancient text there is Agreement in alignment with what science has found through development of psychology. Again, if you teach a child in the way they should grow, when they grow old they want to depart from it. And so the first five years, it's it's very important for the child to see In experience, both parents in equal measure right. It's just that they both provide different types of Needs for the child that are a paramount and balance each other out, really balance the parents out supports.

Byron : 29:53

With dr Good said earlier, when we teach the kid Early about hitting or not hitting, why didn't you hit that person? What were you feeling at that time? I mean, that is raising the kid, teaching the kid, helping them understand their feelings and their emotions and how it played out.

Josh: 30:15

Well, there's another thing that that an underlying theme right there too, right, and it's what Brandon loves to bring up Accountability. You're teaching them accountability at that young age where they're having to sell, process, self behavior, which means that they're processing, where they can account for their actions. Right, and a lot of times we don't teach that until, all of a sudden, all you're acting up, we're doing this.

Byron : 30:39

Let's talk about this behavior you know, i got a quick story and then I want to ask you guys about your father's date. I Have a friend Okay, i have a friend Went to his house Super Bowl Sunday. He had a little kid, little boy. He was about two, three years old and, for whatever reason, his mom, i guess, i Don't know how the habit started, but he Hit me with a wooden spoon. He had a wooden spoon and I had shorts on and I didn't see him coming, you know, and he ran up and he just bowed and Before I knew it I snatched a wooden spoon from him. I hit him back bow, but he's the kid, i didn't. I didn't hit him the way he hit me, but I did him enough to sting him and he just looked at me Like what the hell are you doing?

Byron : 31:37

I was saying you know I was funny is my friend and his wife both looked at him and said see, we told you, one day somebody's gonna get you back.

Josh: 31:49

But I think that's an important factor though, because he learned a lesson that day that they had been planting that seed all along. Well, what would have happened? based on what Dr Good said on some of the new parents How dare you hit my kid?

Byron : 32:03

I want to know about your father's day before we go. Oh yeah, what's your father's day? What's what? how was your father's past father's day? and What's a memorable father's day? Was it this one? tell me.

Josh: 32:16

Well, this is definitely a memorable one. Not in the greatest way, but no, i had to travel. I had to leave for work on father's day, so I was at the airport security. It was a madhouse to this. This is wild.

Byron : 32:31

So then what was?

Josh: 32:32

a memorable one. Well, this is memorable because I had to remind myself.

Josh: 32:36

You know, this is kind of what makes me a father right, I'm having to go go to a place I really don't want to go to for a length of time, that I don't want to go there for in order to Provide and come back so that we can have the ability to take the vacation and stuff like that. So it was a reminder of what we do this for. But I Don't really have a lot of father's day memories. I mean, of course I've had kids and all that for years, But as a child I don't really recall them right.

Byron : 33:07

Okay, well, brandon, be interesting to hear your side, because you, you have kids and have had a father all your life. So what was your most memorable adult, father's day?

Brandon: 33:24

Uh, you're asking the wrong person this question. No you have kids, yeah, but I'm very, very bad about remembering things from the past.

Byron : 33:34

Well, you know, Father's Day was last week, the most current one.

Brandon: 33:39

I think that I actually ended up working on that day actually Working, yeah, Okay, and so I, oh, no, actually, no, okay. Actually it was pretty cool. My kids took me out for breakfast And because I've got older kids now, they all got money, so they all pitched in. We went to a brunch place and they brought me breakfast, Took me out to eat, so that was cool.

Byron : 34:05

Yeah, did you get a gift? Okay, you get a gift, even though you don't know what you get. A tie, a tie.

Josh: 34:12

No, no, i mean, i got some shoes, that's some shoes, okay.

Byron : 34:18

Well, i had a family's Father's Day. People, my son and his wife, my daughter-in-law, tanisha, came by Saturday night with the grandkids. We had a nice little time and I got a gift card because I love to eat out. So, and then Sunday, my wife took me and my daughter took me to a sushi bar, one of my favorite spots. You've been to that spot with me. And then I got some shoes too. That's all I'll say.

Josh: 34:50

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah, Your shoes is very dapper. That's all I'm gonna say. You know what I'm saying? I got some shoes.

Byron : 34:57

So it was a good Saturday, a good Father's Day for me, wow, okay. So are there any last thoughts about Father's Day?

Josh: 35:13

I mean, the only thing I'll say about Father's Day is no go ahead If you could do something for your father right now, Josh, on Father's Day, what would? you do. I'd buy him a house, you'd buy your father a house. I'd buy him a house, wow.

Josh: 35:30

After all the challenges, Yeah, i've been thinking and I've been working on it, really Praying through it, looking at it, because here's my perspective, right, my father was a kid, my mother was a kid And I had to heal past their mess ups, their struggles, and recognize that these are children that had a kid.

Byron : 35:53

Babies, making babies.

Josh: 35:55

They lost some sort of control and I also recognize there's a lot of guilt and shame that comes with that. you know unable to write the past, but I'm thankful for all the just terrible things I went through And because of that, why can't I give him the grace for us to build from now? just because he started off in the wrong foot, especially with my mama. you know angry mama drama was a key contributing factor to some of that too.

Byron : 36:20

So, brandon, he's about his dad house.

Josh: 36:24

Oh man, he's used to going first.

Byron : 36:30

Do that. I got a house. I'm waiting, I'm waiting.

Brandon: 36:34

My presence is more valuable than any possession.

Byron : 36:38

Oh, oh, he can hang out with you.

Brandon: 36:40

You know my presence is valuable.

Byron : 36:42

His presence is valuable. but I take a house You know what I'm saying Josh by his father. You guys see that Josh will by his father a house. Brandon will just come visit me.

Brandon: 36:51

At your house, at your house.

Byron : 36:53

Exactly Okay.

Brandon: 36:55

So you got a house.

Josh: 36:56

You know what I'm saying. Already There's levels to this. You know what I'm. Bye.