Exploring the Intersection of Fatherhood and Sports: Insights from Deion Sanders and Jay Love

What happens when you mesh fatherhood and sports into a power-packed discussion? You get an insightful episode that takes you into the life and philosophy of Deion Sanders, the charismatic coach of Colorado, whose journey started with as an NFL All Star.  Our special guest for this episode is Jay Love, who isn't shy to share his personal anecdotes about his father and stepfather, and how their hard work and sacrifices have significantly influenced his life.

We plunge into a thought-provoking discussion on how Sanders strategically builds a culture of excellence in his team, setting expectations that align with his spiritual beliefs, yet handling it with care not to force his beliefs onto his students. The conversation takes an interesting turn when Jay Love and I, Josh Warmbrodt, explore Sanders' unique concept of 'confidence as cologne'. Here's where you will discover how confidence, when worn right, can lead to your success.

Towards the end of the episode, we delve into the impact of 'Prime Effect' on players and how Sanders' past experiences help him recruit the right players. His approach is unorthodox, focusing on the players' behaviors, characteristics, and their backgrounds, creating a team that is controversial, yet successful. We not only discuss the potential outcome of the Colorado game but also speculate about the team's chances of making it to the championship. It's a fascinating exploration of fatherhood, coaching, and the profound impact they can have in shaping young lives. Tune in!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Hello and welcome to our podcast series, the Father Factor Podcast. I'm your host, byron Ricks, and joining me is my co-host and good friend, josh Wombrock. The objective is to give a voice to fathers who are not able to be with their kids, mothers who are raising kids without fathers, and children who, unfortunately, are growing up without fathers in their lives. Well, well, well, hello everyone and welcome back to the Father Factor. I'm your host, byron Ricks, writing shotgun with me today as my co-host.

Speaker 3: 0:53

Josh Wombrock.

Speaker 1: 0:55

And we have a special guest in the house, which we are happy to have, and his name is Jay Love. How you doing, jay.

Speaker 4: 1:02

Hey, hey, I'm going good.

Speaker 1: 1:04

Good, good, we're going to hear a lot from Jay a little later. In fact, the intro song is written and composed by Jay and we're going to get into that a little later. Before we do, we have a hot topic. I don't know where I got that from. I told that from somebody right some TV show Hot Topics. I don't know who. Who's that Hot Topics?

Speaker 3: 1:24

Hot Topics also. Oh, that was Wendy Clothing store, wasn't that Wendy Clothing store as well? The teenagers your granddaughter probably likes Hot.

Speaker 1: 1:30

Topics, but I'm thinking of, you know, my grandma. I'm old. I'm thinking of Wendy Williams.

Speaker 3: 1:34

Oh, okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 1:37

Didn't she do Hot Topics?

Speaker 3: 1:39

I'm not sure I didn't. You didn't rock with Wendy, you didn't rock with Wendy.

Speaker 1: 1:42

No, I don't know, somehow I remember Hot Topics and I think it was Wendy, but our hot topic for the day is Colorado and Dion Sanders. This brother has done a great job so far. I love what he's doing and what he has done with those teams, with those young men. You know I have a quick Dion story I want to tell you guys before we get into it. And Dion, as you all know, about 10 years ago, 11 years ago, he started Prime Prep. It was a charter school here in Dallas-Footworth area. In fact, dion and I were down in Austin together because that's the same time I co-founded Legacy Preparatory Charter School and our school became approved.

Speaker 1: 2:35

First we got our approval I can't talk today before Dion did and about two or three schools later they announced Prime Academy, prime Prep, had been approved for a charter. And when I looked over at Dion he threw his head into his hands and he began to cry and cry and cry. He was so happy, he was so elated that the school had been approved and his heart was in the right place, his intentions were in the right place. And I remember people have asked me because, if you know the story, prime Prep was not a success. And people have asked me because I'm in the charter world and we are in our 11th year and he said what do you think happened with Dion or Dion's school in Prime Prep? And looking at it today and looking back and looking at the success that he's had with both Jackson State and Colorado, what I said then and I now believe that it was true what I said then Dion was sincere in what he wanted to do. He had his heart in the right place, but he did not have the right people on the bus, as they say, or on the team, and I think that it'd be interesting to talk to him about this to see if this is true.

Speaker 1: 4:02

My hypothesis is true. I think he grew from that, he learned from that right? No for sure. I mean. Failure is fertilizer, is soil right? That helps us grow. So when I look at Dion today and what he's done at Jackson State, one thing we know is he had the right people on the bus. What do I mean by that? He had the right coaches, he had the right support staff and if we listen to his interviews, we see that he brought a lot of the coaching staff, a lot of the administrators, some of the administrators. I see a lot of administrators, staff from Jackson State to Colorado, and he learned in my mind it's not just my sincerity, it's not just my intentions, but I also must have the right people on the bus.

Speaker 3: 4:51

Well that's interesting right, because I came across a video and we're not going to play it. We have a different one for that right. I pulled something. I want to read this quote I pulled from the video Okay, dion said let me tell you something that all my coaches share and it really helps me choose coaching staff. I don't have a guy on staff that's not a great father, like that's real to me, like you cannot be a father to your kids and try to raise these kids. Something's wrong with that. You got to take care of home to be able to take care of these kids over here saying that's great, because if you think about that, a lot of quote unquote, good, great coaches.

Speaker 1: 5:35

When you talk to their kids, their kids will say my dad wasn't there. Yeah, I didn't see my dad a lot. But what Dion is saying you can't be a great coach, really, without also being a great father.

Speaker 3: 5:50

I mean, how do you, if you're struggling to connect with your own flesh and blood and how are you going to connect with this guy here, especially when he lets you down, right? Because I mean, we talked about college age. You know foolishness at times and I know he had mentioned he has another thing the philosophy as far as how he decides on his players.

Speaker 1: 6:11

Right, but before you get to that, before you get to that, I want Jay to weigh in over there on that concept of the father coach.

Speaker 4: 6:20

Yeah, he reminds me of my father, my stepfather, who is like a real father to me. He works so much, you know, right, he sacrificed so much in terms of time and energy, you know, and if there was, I don't even want to say it was a mistake, because at the same time, so much of what he did created a way for me, you know. But I feel like the coach often gets lost in the team and gets lost in the chase and the journey for success. Fathers do the same thing every day. I do it, I'm telling you, I do it. And prior to being a father, I used to judge my dad about. You know, all he did was work and whatever. He was the best dad, but he was also, you know, in a way like the worst dad. I had some homeboys. Their fathers were at every practice, every football game, every whatever, not knocking my father. He's excellent. But the coach often will go after success so hard that he can lose track of family.

Speaker 1: 7:46

From that point. I don't want to lose that point, because the coach, as you said, goes after the success, goes after the ring, goes after the championship, and that becomes their focus and in the back of their minds. If you talk to them and I have talked to a few they feel like that. That success is also a part of their children's success. They feel like their children is proud of them because they are number one, their team was number one, they won this tournament or that tournament or that bowl or this bowl, and, yes, that kid does enjoy the accolades that comes with that. But also it's it sounds like, and what I've heard is, and what I'm hearing from you is yeah, my dad was a success. I also miss my dad, though.

Speaker 3: 8:39

Yeah, it's interesting because I'm going to throw this out there too, just because you know I like controversy yeah we know. So let's just throw it out there. That's also the complaint I hear of pastors' children.

Speaker 3: 8:51

Okay Is they gave it all to the church, to the congregation, and they hear all the accolades of oh, your dad's amazing, oh he's so great. But they may not share that same sentiment. Right, and there was a song. I can't remember the artist. He had a song called Parent Me, I think it was Jay Song. It was an old Christian song and it's just that perspective of the child seeing all the good dad does, like you say, on the field, for everybody else, but here at home, man, he don't got the time for me.

Speaker 4: 9:24

Yeah, but I think don't miss the boat. I do this, no, for you, I'm telling you I find I catch myself. Be real, I'm in the grind, I'm on the hunt for some money, I'm trying to get it, I'm hungry, I'm trying to make this music and I'm also trying to be a great father and a great husband, but I can't be at all at one time.

Speaker 1: 9:52

Well, can you not? What is it about balance? Is it about timing? Is it about understanding what's important and then putting those things that are important in line with everything else that you do? That's rhetorical question, you know.

Speaker 3: 10:16

Right, and there's a piece of that, because a lot of these coaches since we're talking Deion, we're talking about getting lost in the right. That's their job and they're trying to perform their job and this is the security that my wife and kids count on for food on the table. So we're not knocking the coach, not knocking all just to pursue the success.

Speaker 1: 10:36

It's also the father that's working at nine to five and he's working late because he he's trying to move forward and that father is providing for his family and that's first and foremost in his mind, right Even after we've interviewed many, many men who fathers, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many who's fathers weren't there for them at home, but they were there, working two jobs, three jobs, overnight, whatever that was, and providing and as our guests.

Speaker 1: 11:11

as past guests have said, I had food on my table, I had clothes on my back. You remember we've had guests. We asked the question do you think your father loved you? And they say yes, my father loved me. Did your father ever say that he loved you? Well, he didn't say it.

Speaker 3: 11:28

Or he said it when I was 40 or something.

Speaker 1: 11:31

When I was older. But when I asked him do you love me? His answer was you have a roof over your head, don't you Right?

Speaker 3: 11:38

right, right, right, right, and I'm telling you, I feel that I'm telling you, I feel like it. You said it, bro, you said it and that's let's not lose that point Right. You said it already. Once you got became a father yourself, you were able to look at your father with soft to eyes because you got it.

Speaker 4: 11:57

Most definitely. Most definitely Because I understood. Like now it's like oh man, I do have all this ambition, but so do they you know One thing speaking of Dionne and controversy but Dionne has always been controversial.

Speaker 3: 12:14

Yes, that's just who Dionne is, and that's why he was one of my heroes.

Speaker 1: 12:17

You know, and it's yeah, he does have a large ego, but you can't do, in my mind, to accomplish the things that he has accomplished you have to have an ego that big. I'm beginning to believe because look at Michael Jordan look at. Magic Johnson, look at Shaq, look at Kobe pick someone who has who has performed on that level. They all have been accused of having big egos.

Speaker 3: 12:43

Yes, yes, yes, I mean, and I'll say Steph Curry, right, steph Curry, and you can see it in his eyes. Oh yes, he kind of like he, he's he, he, he. His body language says it more than his, more than he verbalizes it right, but his recent commercials he's always competing with the?

Speaker 1: 13:04

oh, I can't remember her name, oh well it'll come to me. I have to look her up.

Speaker 3: 13:10

Well, I mean, he's also competed with that one commercial that came out right when they were talking about Steph Curry does not have the size or physique to be a professional ball player. He doesn't have the speed to. They're reading off all the things that they said in the draft and as he, that was something that was an under armor commercial and as he just dropping, dropping, dropping just threes and killing them right. So there is a pride and I believe that there's a pride that comes with success and achievement, because you had to get smacked down a hundred times to get that, that, that that growth.

Speaker 1: 13:47

But when we talk about ego, ego men have ego, women have ego, but men known to have ego and and and ego sometimes take on, or takes on, a negative connotation. Right, yet we must learn to harness our ego. Gotta have it, and I think Dion has done a great job of harnessing the ego. They were I was watching, I think it was Sports Center one of those talking sports hit shows and one of the commentators were was not big on on what Dion has done, the accomplishments, and he said well, I'm a, I'm a fan, but I don't think he's going to be successful. And they finally ask him why, and they said well, his ego is. He has a big ego. Well, you just hate him, my man.

Speaker 1: 14:35

Yeah, I mean because he does but he has an ego in my mind that he has harnessed.

Speaker 3: 14:43

Not just that. Here's what I would say with that yes, but his ego includes those that he loves. Meaning his players, his coaches, his staff, all of those people around him, his ego. It's not just the Dion show. Right, right, right right. It's about the collective goal. It's not about let me get some rings. It's what success I want to be chasing? Success, Dion's chasing, changing these men's lives, Right.

Speaker 4: 15:09

He has an inclusive ego.

Speaker 3: 15:12

Yes, inclusive ego. Yes, so listen to this right. You want to talk?

Speaker 2: 15:16

about that inclusive ego.

Speaker 3: 15:19

He has rules for his players. Okay, we're starting school tomorrow, right? Here's some of the the things that he covered. Okay, no slides, no slides, no slides. You know what I'm saying. He went in on the about the slides. No exposed armpits. You know, you do not go to class with exposed armpits and slides. You must shower before going to class. I don't want to say that you went there stinking. Right, he doesn't want you acting up in the class wearing branded. Why, how are you going to wear our logo and be known as a troublemaker? I don't want to hear that you freestyling in class and you making a beat on the on the desk. Nah, right. He also said that you're going to sit in the front. So if you need help, the teachers already knows you by your character. Right? And I said oh, wow, wow, he set expectations.

Speaker 1: 16:15

Yes, he set expectations and you, as a player, you have a choice. Right, right, you don't have to do any of this, but you do if you want to be a part of this team. Right, right, right, you know, and he catches a lot of flack for that. Yes, he does, especially in this day and age when you know everything is free spirit, he's philosophy.

Speaker 3: 16:36

They said Sanders coaching philosophy is unique because it emphasizes not only the physical aspects of the game but also the spiritual and emotional development of his players. Sanders is known for inspiring and motivating his players through his spiritual beliefs, which he integrates into his coaching style, and that's why not only is it disruptive of like today, he's bringing in spiritual beliefs and, at the same time, bringing in something that's common to their coach, to the culture.

Speaker 1: 17:06

Now you guys may or may not totally understand or appreciate how huge that is, but I've been in a school system, the president of a board of a school now for 11 years. He bringing in spiritual beliefs into a secular school. I'm surprised he hasn't caught more flack about that and yet that still. That may still yet happen. But he's bringing them in, but he's not preaching to them. Think about it. He's bringing in his belief system but he's not preaching to them. He's not opening their mouths and shoving a Bible down their throats. But what he is saying, these are my expectations. His expectations happen to be in line with his spiritual beliefs.

Speaker 3: 17:54

Right, so what's funny is that? Oh man, god is funny the way he works. Right, we go to church at my barber shop. You know my barber. He allows his pastor to host a church in his shop, and all that right and Wait wait, wait, wait what?

Speaker 4: 18:13

Oh, my barber, you know, get your cut and then you know, so not at the same time.

Speaker 1: 18:20

Yeah, exactly At the same time, of course, right.

Speaker 3: 18:23

But what's interesting is there was a assistant principal that was in, that was there and he driving in from like grand prairie something like that, if I'm not mistaken, to the keller area, and he had, man, I don't know how many students. That was just there, x students, like Generations of x students that would show up driving, some of them driving from grand prairie too. And he, as an assistant principal, has been doing the same thing with sharing his faith and encouraging them because he said, it always comes back, it always organically leads back to the bigger call, exactly, and so many people are scared to do that because it is the school system. But you see, this man who has impact because it came Through that, that he has students that are have kids now that are old enough to go to his school, who said, oh, I was one of his students in that church. So you think about the impact is more than just let's win a ring, let's get in shape, let's this, that's let's, let's set your character Right hold on.

Speaker 4: 19:33

I'm gonna tell you for a loop, because Now I want to. Let's go back, because do y'all think any of this is possible Without an ego? You think that these young guys would follow deon sanders Without an? An? An egoic deon sanders?

Speaker 3: 19:55

No, because people are attracted away. It's no way. Confidence is magnetic and a lot of times confidence can be shown as ego and byron. You said something about deon when we was on the phone earlier that he said something along the lines of what don't let my confidence or ego or whatever.

Speaker 1: 20:14

We have to look that caught up make your. I want to. I want to be exact.

Speaker 3: 20:19

So yeah, I know that so.

Speaker 1: 20:20

So we'll have our people look that up, yeah we'll look that up.

Speaker 5: 20:24

Sometimes you got to know what you know. They're gonna call it cocky this, they're gonna call it arrogance, but you gonna call it confidence, because I don't want my confidence to. I'm gonna say something and I want you to hold on to it. All right, get your cameras ready, because this is game. Do not allow my confidence to offend your insecurity. If I could get up and dance, I would dance right now. If I could get up and shout, I would shout right now. Do not allow my confidence to offend your insecurity. Because I dress like I dress because I'm confident. I look like I look Because he's confident. We walk like we walk because we confident. I don't even use cologne, this. Somebody asked me what is this you're wearing? I said confidence, it's. It's my natural odor. It's my natural odor. I don't I don't have to use doche or whatever it is. It's my natural odor. Come on, coach, let's do it, because if you look good, you feel good, and if you feel good, you play good. If you play good, they Pays good.

Speaker 3: 21:22

But I mean, of all these different things we're looking at, we're looking at a great coach X player, you know, with with a heart, who has been authentic all along, right, and we get to see this play out. Now he's, he has his son Playing for him too, and I saw, I saw a quick video of him that said something like you know, there's a moment when you saw me running down the sideline, that was a dad moment, that wasn't a coach moment. He's, I ain't run that. I ain't run like that in years. I didn't know I could, you know, and uh, that that made me laugh, like, yeah, because he he's willing to admit, no, I wasn't being coached and I was, I didn't lost my head and ran after him like a dad. And that's beautiful because, like, that's what needs to be on display and as far as the people are saying is deanna, you know, basically you see a sellout for leaving hbcu, you know for those that don't know, hbcu is, that's a historical black college university.

Speaker 3: 22:19

So I think that he's advancing the movement where we can accept the results rather than how it's packaged. And how do we not move forward In this country where it's a results oriented country?

Speaker 4: 22:34

Hey, but why do you have to limit the black man to the hbcu and why does the black man want to be limited to the hbcu? Deion Sanders did something incredible for the culture. Yeah, he's moving. He's moving the culture forward. He's moving as an american like he's moving us forward. Yeah, bridging gaps.

Speaker 1: 22:56

I want to say this not just the black man If he were a white man and chose to go to an hbcu and got an opportunity to go to A major university major university, would we say the same thing, no that opportunity made sense.

Speaker 3: 23:22

I'm just.

Speaker 1: 23:22

I'm just no, that's, that's real, that's real.

Speaker 3: 23:25

but but I'm not taking away from your statement at all, jay, I'm just but, but it's sometimes.

Speaker 1: 23:31

We are our worst critics.

Speaker 3: 23:36

Yeah, we are our worst critics when we don't want to be. Uh, we talk about the culture and going mainstream and acceptance and all that, but yet we we tend to put ourselves with our people. We a lot of times I'll tell you when I was locked up, that's the first thing.

Speaker 3: 23:50

We we self. Um, what's the word? I'm losing? Um, I'm lost it. We self Segregate, yeah, prisons, right, jails. They self-segregate oftentimes even in high schools, unless you on a sports team or a club where you've interacted with Others. Right it's. We stick to your culture and it's always been safe to stick with the black culture. But when you veer off, oh no, you didn't. At that point, for some reason, you you've wrong your uncle tom. But how do we finally advance and how do we move forward? How do we truly I guess what somebody said integrate Foley like this?

Speaker 4: 24:29

if we don't do this, yeah, it's gotta be like this where we got an excellent person, an excellent man, um to step forward and bridge the gap on behalf of you know, his family and and really the world, because he's doing something that you know we haven't seen much of.

Speaker 1: 24:52

You know, I don't know, you know my, my, my Mantra, if you will, is I don't know what the future holds, but I don't hold the future right, right, you know and I used to say that so often, that one of my colleagues.

Speaker 1: 25:06

Bought it for me on a plaque and I have it in my office now. I don't know how many games Deion or the Colorado is gonna win, but I do know that his trajectory looks good. Oh yeah, for sure, you know, I don't know if he's gonna win any bowl this year or not, but I do know that his kids are gonna win, but I do know that his kids are gonna be in the hunt Right. And what's interesting is we talk about fatherlessness, of kids growing up without fathers, and now we're talking about boys for a moment. I love. Well, let me back up. We talk about the characteristics.

Speaker 1: 25:50

Yeah yeah, of boys that grow up without fathers. They have certain characteristics. And Deion talks about his recruiting. Yeah, his recruiting man.

Speaker 3: 26:07

I was offended by his recruiting theory. I'll be real because he was right Um or his recruiting strategy.

Speaker 1: 26:14

His strategy strategy.

Speaker 3: 26:17

It's, it's, it's, it's his um.

Speaker 1: 26:19

Philosophy, on the philosophy, there you go coaching staff and his players.

Speaker 3: 26:23

He's got philosophies on, probably because of what you said. You know we assume your hypothesis is that he learned about having the right people on the bus and that may even something he took Even more so with. Okay, we're dealing with these children's lives and I've already seen what this came through. Again, hypothesis people, but at the end of the day, taking a strategic approach to understand Not just what positions are they playing, what characteristics do they need to have in grain and embedded them to successfully play this position.

Speaker 1: 26:52

You also. What that also says is he's pelle Paid close attention To behaviors. Yeah, to people. When you look at people's behaviors. In fact, we talked to dr Good A few episodes ago and when we asked dr Good, can you tell Children in the classroom who grown up without their fathers especially boys, can you tell? And she said absolutely I can tell you know who. What kid has grown up without a father? And four out of five times she's been right, people been right, and that has been validated in my mind. Not that it needed to be, but maybe for others when Dion talks about his recruiting strategy.

Speaker 3: 27:44

No, I'll play this for us, because you know.

Speaker 1: 27:47

We want to queue that up, and then we want to chop that up.

Speaker 3: 27:50

Yeah, that's because, like I said, you know y'all pay attention because it really is profound it is, so I'm gonna go ahead and click play.

Speaker 5: 27:58

Quarterbacks are different. We want mother, father, you know, dual parent. We want that kid to be three, five and up, because he's gotta be smart, not bad decisions off the field at all, because he has to be a leader of men like like old lineman, I look for dual parent homes, a strong father that they had here too Right, smart kid, three, at least three, three and above. My deepest lineman story, obviously. What?

Speaker 2: 28:25

do you mean Single?

Speaker 5: 28:26

mama Trying to get it. He's on free lunch. I mean, I'm talking about just trying to make it, he trying to rescue mama.

Speaker 3: 28:40

Wow, and he right though.

Speaker 1: 28:42

But see, a lot of people were offended by that. You know free lunch. They got offended by that. But what he's saying is that guy, that kid, is hungry. That kid has had to work harder than the other kids. That kid has had to go get it. I want that kid going after the quarterback.

Speaker 3: 29:06

Yeah, I mean, you think about it. You think about it. Qb and old lineman, their job is to stick to the plan, to open up the hole, or just, you know, execute the D-man, the D-lineman. I just want to rip your head off, yeah. I'm gonna get there one way or another. I'm gonna get to you.

Speaker 1: 29:23

Now you may become offended by what he said, and I get that. We're in American today and no matter what we say, offenses usually mean that something true is said.

Speaker 1: 29:32

Well, possibly and being in this podcast now we're a year in believe me, I've gotten some feedback. We were offended, some folks, oh yes, and it's hard not to do that these days. But that also says to me, as you said earlier, we must have struck a chord, we must have said something right, because truth sometimes most offends. If you can't accept that truth, and that truth if it plays out, when you look at his team, you're going back to Jackson State. Even when you look at the team and how he recruited and what he was able to accomplish, seems like to me the outcome should justify the means.

Speaker 3: 30:09

Absolutely, because I'll tell you like this here's why I was offended. I played football, right, and I didn't get taken seriously playing football Because, well, he said the 3-3, right, that's GPA. I graduated at 1.7 GPA. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait, you can't graduate 1.7 GPA.

Speaker 1: 30:31

Oh hey, man, they just pushed you through.

Speaker 3: 30:32

They pushed me, they just said get him on out of here, just get out, but I believe there was a boot print on the back of my shirt.

Speaker 1: 30:40

Get him on out of here.

Speaker 3: 30:41

Get out of here, so my GPA wasn't there and Dion said they make good decisions on and off the field. Right, always Right. I didn't Right. I was always in trouble, disrupting class, getting into fights, whatever. The case was just a different mindset, so you were angry. Half black man, yes, yes, yes. Racial identity and father abandonment issues I'm saying my mom's really didn't, she didn't check in, she didn't care is really what it was. But again, like I've said, I don't hold her responsible because she was a teenager, right, so I've got past that. But what it did was that there were, like we talk about the side effects that took shape and the reason why coach would not start me was because he couldn't count on me. Yeah, I can count on you to knock somebody on the back, to catch the ball, whatever you can execute, even though you don't know the place Right, but I can't try to practice with you and train the team with you, and then you get in trouble and you're ineligible Because you don't have the discipline, you don't have the discipline.

Speaker 1: 31:49

You know you don't have the discipline, but the linemen yeah, let them attack, but they still have to have.

Speaker 3: 31:55

They have to make at least good enough to be eligible. I stayed ineligible. I was bare crawling up and down the field all the time. I used to smoke before practice. I didn't know no better I did, but I didn't. But those coaches didn't take the approach that they could have. They took the I need who's serious and move on. Dion has taken a little bit different approach in putting them where they belong. They did not father you, they did not father me, nor was it really their responsibility. Well, it's not Dion's either.

Speaker 1: 32:27

No, but it's a choice because he sees a need. Exactly those coaches that father learn how to nurture. All of them don't necessarily father, but they learn how to nurture those kids. And it could be tennis players, female tennis players, female basketball players, the coaches that not only coach but nurture. We're using the word father because it's Dion and that's what he's been accused of being a father coach, and he accepts it proudly so. But those who nurture the kids and care about the kids. Ziggler used to say people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Speaker 3: 33:06

Right, and those kids know Dion cares, and that's a beautiful point, because I had a coach in high school. Maybe I make it to coach Rommel, shout out to coach Rommel, he was on me. I don't think he cared for me and it made sense. I mean, I got kicked out of government my senior year the one credit I did need and I got moved to his class for economics, and because I had such an open schedule, that's a different story.

Speaker 3: 33:35

Point is is that before we, before I moved to his class, he used to look at me with these harsh eyes Because I can read people really well. But once I got into his class and he saw my mind work and then found out that I was working in closing shifts at a restaurant and then coming to school and practice and all of that leaving practice to go to work, he got a softer heart and started to nurture me. Right, he poured into you. Right, because he saw it. It didn't work for the. At that point, you know, football season was over. But he realized post season like wow, I missed an opportunity. I don't mind saying that's what he said, but I saw it in his actions, right, right.

Speaker 1: 34:17

You saw that he felt in his mind I could have done something new differently. He just not a trouble kid and maybe he's got a better outcome from this kid.

Speaker 3: 34:26

He's not a trouble kid, he's a troubled kid. There's a difference, you know. He's not just causing trouble for fun, there's just there's something off, there's something wrong in his environment. And I didn't know how hard of a worker he really was, how dedicated he was to everything but what he should have been right.

Speaker 1: 34:44

And Deion epitomizes what we talk about, a mantra here on the father factor. People ask me why the father factor? I say because fathers count. That's why they count, and if they're not there, they count. If you know math, they're negative numbers. Right, so we can use negative numbers, right.

Speaker 4: 35:05

I liked the way you said that.

Speaker 1: 35:07

Math, fathers count and we're not discounting moms. Moms, you know, without my mom I ooh.

Speaker 3: 35:15

Don't they call numbers factors?

Speaker 1: 35:17

Yeah so.

Speaker 3: 35:18

I mean.

Speaker 1: 35:19

The father factor, the father's count.

Speaker 3: 35:21

The factor is there. It factors it, whether you're there or not it factors in some way the father.

Speaker 1: 35:25

We've said the father can be physically in the home Right and have a negative factor Right, right, right. So we want fathers who have positive factors for their kids and toward their kids, because people love their fathers. Kids love, you know, daughters. When I was being criticized earlier but again I didn't know any better, I was writing when I wrote the book, it was from my experience not having a father as a boy, and all the research I did was boys who didn't have dads. I wasn't even thinking about girls at that time. I didn't have a sister, so it wasn't on my mind. It wasn't until I got deep into this that women used to come to me and say wait, we have some effects ourselves. You don't ever talk about that, byron.

Speaker 3: 36:15

Right, right. And then the other part of it is there is a mother factor. I've seen a lot of the side effects we've discussed. It's a different episode for this, because I know we're gonna wrap up here, but my daughter's biological mother not being present in her life, even though she had a great surrogate my wife has been there there's still some of those same side effects that my daughter exhibits. So there's a factor with a parent, regardless of sex, but there's different. It factors in differently, right, depending on sex.

Speaker 1: 36:45

Mother's factor as well. Right and so like for those out there listening right.

Speaker 3: 36:51

Big time for those out there listening understand that we're not only for dads, right. We're trying to give dads the accolades they need and also the encouragement to step up there you go the encouragement and go out and grab your child, exactly that's another reason we say all your kids are equally.

Speaker 1: 37:11

Yours Are equally yours. Right now, as we begin to wrap up a little bit, I want some predictions, guys. So Colorado was, with three and O, right, they beat TCU, they beat Colorado State. Who was that? I'm missing one. Who was the other one?

Speaker 4: 37:29

I didn't watch that game.

Speaker 1: 37:31

Okay, that's yours, I was upset.

Speaker 4: 37:33

They beat TCU's my team.

Speaker 1: 37:34

Oh, hello, you know, yeah, he's trying to. Oh, this been a tough segment for Jay.

Speaker 4: 37:41

I had to pass on the second game, but I watched the third one.

Speaker 1: 37:45

The second game. He lose me right now.

Speaker 3: 37:47

Yeah, I can't think of another. We know that three and O and that last one, they won and they weren't supposed to win that game either.

Speaker 1: 37:54

They weren't supposed to win at TCU. They was like what, jay?

Speaker 4: 37:57

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, they were supposed to lose at TCU 20 point on the dog 21 point on the something. Yeah, I think it was 21 point.

Speaker 1: 38:02

They slapped him around a bit. Yeah, well, you know why. I believe we're talking a little sports now. I believe TCU underestimated them. Oh yeah, I think they underestimated them big time.

Speaker 3: 38:14

Well, that, and there's also a power that Deion brings, because when you have people that know that you believe in them and they love you, they will run through walls for you. And I'll say this, and he can be a witness I've experienced that when you do a great job and you care for people and you step out and step before them, man, if it doesn't fit what the mainstream or the agenda right like we see Deion's upsetting they'll get you out of there because it doesn't look. It doesn't matter the results, it doesn't look like what we think it should look like.

Speaker 1: 38:49

Predictions how many wins will Colorado have this year?

Speaker 3: 38:53

I think they just gonna go hard for Deion. That's what I'm gonna say. I don't know. I don't keep up with football enough to know, just being honest, well, I don't know either.

Speaker 1: 39:00

That's why we are guessing and predicting.

Speaker 3: 39:02

I know how many games they play in this season. That'll be real, you don't? I think they gonna go to the shit.

Speaker 2: 39:08

I'll say that.

Speaker 3: 39:08

I think they gonna go all the way.

Speaker 2: 39:10

No, I don't think they'll go, I think they'll make it to the championship.

Speaker 3: 39:12

I'm not saying they gonna win it, but I believe they can make it through the playoffs if they keep the momentum and the coaching strategies that they got.

Speaker 4: 39:19

No, that boy is not gonna. I mean, look man.

Speaker 3: 39:22

I believe in.

Speaker 2: 39:23

I believe in no, no, no, no no.

Speaker 4: 39:25

I love what Sanders is doing. I love prom. I love real talk. That Colorado game made me a believer. I'm like do you believe now? Yes, I do, I'm with you, prom. So it's not like that. I just don't think that, man, you gotta think some of these other teams, you guys are on another level. So I don't know, man, we'll see.

Speaker 3: 39:52

I look at people.

Speaker 4: 39:52

I think they'll go farther.

Speaker 3: 39:54

I think that Deion has selected his philosophy to selecting the right people coaches and players wise is why it's such a good, because when you have the right people in the right place, things just kind of fall into place.

Speaker 1: 40:05

Here we go, here we go, guys, here we go. The first game was TC Owen Frogs, okay, and they beat them. Nebraska Cornhuskers.

Speaker 4: 40:17

That's right. They beat them. Nebraska, that's right, they're the Colorado.

Speaker 1: 40:20

State. So now they're getting ready to play the Orican Ducks.

Speaker 4: 40:24

That's gonna be tough, that's gonna be tough.

Speaker 1: 40:26

Think they can beat them, win or lose what you think.

Speaker 3: 40:28

I'm gonna say they win. I'm a believer in Deion. I don't watch a lot of college football. I don't keep up with college football really at all.

Speaker 1: 40:34

Okay so this is I'm following Deion right now. You're following Deion. You're on that Deion train.

Speaker 3: 40:39

Man. I did a book report on Deion a couple different times, summer school when I did a book report on him. Deion Sanders A book report A book report in summer school. I failed. I had to go to summer school. I've never heard of anyone doing a book report. I chose Deion.

Speaker 1: 40:52

Sanders.

Speaker 3: 40:52

Deion Sanders, Neon Deion prime time. That was a lot of my surrogate through the articles coming up, USC.

Speaker 1: 40:59

Trojans no, no, jc, I don't know man.

Speaker 4: 41:04

Look at the same time. It's prime, so that prime effect is real. I'm telling you.

Speaker 3: 41:10

So I don't really think it's gonna happen but it could, and he got faith on his side. Yeah, he got God pushing for him.

Speaker 1: 41:18

You know what one of the commentators I heard that commented on the Nebraska game said that he felt again this is his commentator commentation that ain't even a word. He commented on saying that, deion, it pumped his team up so much and so did the other side, nebraska that the game was just sloppy and ugly early on because they weren't settled enough. In his mind he felt like you pump them up to a degree but you don't get them so pumped that they can't really focus on making plays. What do you think about that?

Speaker 4: 41:58

You can't help but them to be pumped up, because it's prime and he's bringing. I mean, think about this, you're a college kid, Little Wayne just performed. Little Wayne just walked me out of the tunnel. I'm a college kid. Oh, I'm pumped up. Oh, it's no way to not be pumped up and it's no way to not be on the other side looking at this going on and not be like, oh, I'm gonna smash these boys because whatever. And so either way, yeah, everybody's nervous, Everybody's pumped up. The whole world's watching.

Speaker 3: 42:30

You want my projection. I'm not gonna give you a game or anything like that. Here's my projection, just based off of human behavior. Prime is he's got the effect. It's real, it's amazing. But it's also a new effect when, and a lot of times, what's common or what's uncommon to others becomes common right. So if they get used to prime, this is normal. I think there's gonna come a time when they get semi-comfortable with him and they're gonna get humbled and then they're gonna have to bounce back.

Speaker 1: 43:00

So, that's when they're gonna I hope it's a lot of legend. Even though he beat your team, tcu, you're saying I got love for you, prime.

Speaker 4: 43:07

Well, no, the thing is. The thing is prime is I feel like moving on behalf of hip hop culture, like just culture, and so that's why I'm for prime and so that's why I'm behind what he's doing, because he looks like me and he looks like my cousins and he's very successful and I want that to continue, so that people like me and like my cousins can elevate in life and we can say, oh, it is possible.

Speaker 1: 43:41

So he's a role model.

Speaker 4: 43:41

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 43:44

For you, maybe, maybe not.

Speaker 4: 43:47

Yeah, you can say that I mean I don't I think he's a role model for you?

Speaker 3: 43:50

Yeah, he's a role model for me, flat out.

Speaker 4: 43:52

I don't watch enough of him to say that, but recently I've been catching up on him, but I mean you got culture.

Speaker 3: 43:59

It's more than you got culture, but you also got faith. The culture, the faith, it's all in one. He's taking this approach as being truly authentic, as him not giving anybody what they want.

Speaker 1: 44:11

I'm gonna wrap up and then we are. But something you guys may or may not know about Deion. I've interacted with Deion about a half dozen times. He used to live in Plano. I lived in Plano. I've seen him. I've seen his wife, he walking his wife with a dog, and then that he's been in the barbershop and then the whole nine. He is an introvert. He is the quietest person in the room. A lot of people think he's not because you see him on television. He's not. Now, who's not an introvert? Is Michael Irvin? No, no, no, no. Michael Irvin is an extrovert.

Speaker 3: 44:50

We gotta wrap this episode up, because I love Michael Irvin as a player, but not as a role model, even as a child.

Speaker 1: 44:57

Well, we're not talking about role models now. Oh, I get that. We're just talking about introverts and extroverts, because if you never really interacted with Deion or seen him outside of the public which I have he's just really an introvert. He doesn't really talk a lot.

Speaker 3: 45:13

By the self-control. There's distance in this, but I've also with Michael.

Speaker 1: 45:16

Irvin. I was sitting in the barbershop once and Michael Irvin just came over and opened the conversation with me and started talking to me. I'm like whoa.

Speaker 3: 45:23

See, I didn't have that experience with Jimmy Johnson.

Speaker 1: 45:25

Okay, all right, you guys, you have been listening because we can go on and on. You guys have been listening to the Father Factor. We thank you for listening. We appreciate you. We oh, you know what. I'll deal with that in our next episode because we are out of time. You've been listening to the Father Factor. Why? Because fathers count, dads. Remember all your children are equally yours. Until next time. Hey, thank you. This is Byron the Father Factor podcast. Thank you for listening. If you'd like what you've heard, subscribe and share and tell us your thoughts. We'd like to hear from you. Perhaps you can be on our show Until the Father's out there. Remember all your children are equally yours.

Speaker 2: 46:16

It takes more than names to be a man oh yeah. It takes more than sex to be a dad oh yeah. It takes more than good to be the bad oh yeah, it takes more. It takes more, more, more, more, more more.