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Ha Relax, it's gonna be okay.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, oh would to with two no, you choose one or the other.
Speaker 1:Gentlemen, boys and girls choosing the ball ages, this is your boy, j Stone, coming to you with another edition of in the lounge with stone and. Your co hosty. Oh man, this is gonna be a great one today. I believe I'm gonna ruffle some stuff, ruffle some feathers and, you know, I'm gonna make some people upset about this one, like I did last time when I, when I, when I said black man don't cheat, baby, you know it, black man don't cheat. We just perused. We go, black women don't we peruse, we look around, we might that's me, I'll do it, but I can't mess around, because what black man don't cheat, aka my homie Carlos Miller. So, ladies and gentlemen, for one, let's do this today, today, today, today, this month of the month of November is men's mental health.
Speaker 2:Oh, see, see, see see, there we go.
Speaker 1:No one knew that. No one. No, I didn't know. See, my co-host didn't know it, my friends didn't know it, a couple of guys didn't know it, because no one checks on her brother's mental health. They always expect the man to be like we good.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what you guys portray. We're good.
Speaker 1:We got to because if we don't we become. Ah, he saw he crying a lot he got all the problems.
Speaker 2:No, nobody says you guys are soft, be emotional, be yourself, so express yourself, because if you don't like, we don't know how you're feeling. We're not my readers.
Speaker 1:Trust me, if you sit there and be crying and boohoo and a wine and then whatever about everything that happened to you. Ain't no woman on this word I'm like, oh, I love his sensitive side, bullshit.
Speaker 2:Okay, wrong women.
Speaker 1:That's every that's. That's a lot of the women wrong women. But anyway, we don't, we don't jump back on that. But how was your weekend?
Speaker 2:How was pretty good. I just hung out with the kids on Saturday, sunday went to church and, you know, got a good word about you. That's some Jesus in your holiday, of course. Yes, absolutely. I wasn't gonna wear my God is dope shirt, but you know, okay, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:I Say this every time if you ain't down with Jesus, you ain't down with me, man Should run girls from a madden long way. Madden how about your Keep going don't start reverence, don't. Right, but man, I'm telling you, like I said, man, I love you, I love you. So you just kicked it with the kids and went to church and got a little Jesus in you and a lot of Jesus in me, but you go a lot of you, hey there you go, there you go. Don't, don't, don't lessen your Jesus. So you got a lot of Jesus in you.
Speaker 2:A lot of Jesus in me every Sunday. No, I love our church, our pastor. Well, it's actually not my church, it's my mom's church, okay, and the pastor is blind, but he's very, very great.
Speaker 1:He's such a great pastor, he's blind like like Rachel's.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like he can't see, but.
Speaker 1:I guess you can see in the spirit realm.
Speaker 2:You know how it is In the spirit realm.
Speaker 1:I guess you could see so hey man and he's preaching the word of God and and he can't see when he's good with a god is blessing him somewhere. But god probably, he probably can see. You know what I'm saying. He sees stuff we don't see. You know, hey, you gotta look at in the spirit realm. It's kind of crazy, kind of crazy. Check this out. Check this out before I tell you how my weekend was and I'm gonna send this to you. Show you can be like Ah, that's crazy. So everyone knows that steve wonder Is blind.
Speaker 2:And you don't see wonder is right. I know really.
Speaker 1:So this video of of steve wonder steve wonder at the front row of an award ceremony and I believe I don't know if it's Beyonce or mariah carry or some lady she got she. She finished singing and she blew him a kiss and he blew it back to her.
Speaker 2:Is he blind? Ah, that's the question Now it's no, a neighbor say like hey, she blew you a kiss or you see.
Speaker 1:You see the video. No one sees. No one is whispering in his ear it was a kiss blown till you blow back. No one is by him that close to say he did this, teach you, do that.
Speaker 2:Do you hear in the mic like a?
Speaker 1:You, you see, you see her blowing a kiss, and you see him In the mic like no, no, no, no no, there was no mic. You couldn't hear. It's like okay, I know what that is, let me do that. No, it wasn't anything he could hear. No, it was one of them and he blew it back to her, so let's go back here.
Speaker 2:Is he blind?
Speaker 1:Everyone is asking this, so check this out before you get in our top. Our topic here. We um should kill on him. Uh, superman, big fella do, who play for the uh Lakers, uh and a lot of more other teams. Man, one of the best power centers there is Breaking back boards, killing people, hurting them, but one of the sweetest youngest brothers there is he's. He's solid, he's real solid.
Speaker 2:I don't know what the center is, but it sounds cool.
Speaker 1:Well, take it out. He's the one who blocks everybody's shot. He's big and you don't want to mess with him. He's like I have you ever been to the zoo and you seen the uh, the gorilla, and they call him the silver back? Don't go over there messing with him. Oh yeah, I see now don't mess with him when he in the paint.
Speaker 2:You know what those silver backs are actually rude? No, they're very rude After so.
Speaker 1:So he was at he, he lived in the same building. So the story goes as steve you wonder and should kill onio lived in the same building. So uh, should kill onio told the story about he was. He parked his car under, uh, the apartment. You know how you park your car in the apartment. You going to in the um, in the elevator. He went to elevator and steve you want? No, he went to elevator first, was in the corner. Steve wonder came in after him and said and looked in the corner, said what's going on? Big man Pushed his button and went to his apartment. No one said hey, this is Shaquille O'Neal. No one said you on level four.
Speaker 2:No, but they do have those braille.
Speaker 1:It wasn't no braille.
Speaker 2:Oh really.
Speaker 1:Shaquille O'Neal told me the whole time.
Speaker 2:I mean like, maybe because their senses are heightened, you can hear him breathe them from up here. You know, no, no, no. So it's like big fella, like you know.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. So, and it's been other stories. You've seen other stories of Jamie Foxx. Jamie Foxx told stories of him. It's like I don't know, I forgot the guy. He's a comedian and he said to tell the truth, and his mom is on the show with him. I forgot his name, dude. Oh, whatever, I forgot his name. He'd come back to me, but he's a funny, funny comedian. He said he could see he even challenged to a basketball game. So, yeah, so I don't know. I'm gonna have to do a little digging in there and talk to Stevie. Stevie, can you see, brother? I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2:No, I think his senses are heightened. You know what you might be right, you might be right, yeah. And then he's around. If it's a familiar area, he's been there every day so he can like fill around, like even our well, not my pastor, but my mom's pastor. He's blind, but he can walk around the pool, bump in everything, won't bump into nothing or nothing. It's a familiar place, you know, Okay. So if he lives there, of course he could feel where his buttons are.
Speaker 1:Okay, you got that one down, so tell me how did he feel about the blowing of the kiss? Explain that one to me.
Speaker 2:He felt it, her breath was hot.
Speaker 1:I'm done talking to you right now.
Speaker 2:No, he felt the air he's like. Is that a kiss? No, oh man I don't know. That's weird. I don't see there's something going on that we didn't know, like somebody could have yelled it, but you can't see it cause it's centered on him Like blower you never know.
Speaker 1:Oh man, Okay. So you tell me. Somebody said hey, Steven, she blew your kiss, oh, okay.
Speaker 2:No, cause everybody knows he's blind right.
Speaker 1:Yes, definitely.
Speaker 2:You kinda have to guide him through things, so it's probably like something we didn't hear, but there was like blower a kiss back and then social media went berserk, you know like, can you see? You know, I guess, I guess.
Speaker 1:I guess. I guess you never know You're cool, so this. So one weekend I sit up, chilled out, cleaned up, drunk a little bit, went out to a friend. She's gone through a little situation. So you know I was, as they called him, a light angel. I helped out a little bit, you know. Showed her the lean on yeah let's show the lean on, Show the cry on. You know, don't cry too much Wait.
Speaker 2:what kind of friend is this?
Speaker 1:It's just a friend. Just a friend. You already know I'm not. I don't do relationships no more After my marriage. I'm good.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, this is for your ex life to hear on the air After my, after my, you know, no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1:You're good, that thing. Now you know what, after you married so long, you start looking at different things. You start figuring out, like I don't need to be with you right now. I don't want to be with you, I'm good. You know, it's a lot of toxic people that can hide that shit real good, until they get with you and then it comes on them and then it throws on you and then you become something that you will never think you are.
Speaker 2:I agree.
Speaker 1:I don't need to be in a relationship. No, I don't. No, no, no yeah.
Speaker 2:No, that's all right. Everybody has their own preferences. I'm newly married so I don't know I'm getting the game from you.
Speaker 1:Man, don't trust me, Don't get the game from me. No, man, don't Don't do that, don't do that. Well, you know it's different things. I can't highlight you and let you know what to do and what not to do, but all of it is it's, it's in your hands. You know. Don't live your life like somebody else living has, because you don't know really what they doing. You know what I mean. You know I've seen relationships like they look good on the outside but the inside he punching on her forehead, or on the other way, she punching him, or on the other way, the kids is cussing out the mother and the mother cussing out the kids, or or she tied to the whole family and she poisoned everybody.
Speaker 2:Well, it's like it sounds like it sounds like you had a bad you know, go around. No, no, no.
Speaker 1:The latency. I ain't never had no kid cussing me out. I ain't never had no woman, a woman at me like that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This shit. I didn't seem for real like people that I know that had dealt with this. You know one of my old, old, old colleagues. He said one night he got tied to his wife and she was doing some crazy stuff. He said you know, becky, we're gonna go out on this boat ride, we're gonna catch us some fish. He ain't been fishing in 20 years. So yeah, that boat ride was her last ride. You dig.
Speaker 2:This your friend.
Speaker 1:No, I don't know him like that.
Speaker 2:I don't know him like that. Okay, what's his name?
Speaker 1:I don't know him like that. Like I said, I just heard a story.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's terrible, but sometimes people do fly off the handle. That's a terrible idea.
Speaker 1:Have you seen a?
Speaker 2:snap, I watch it every day.
Speaker 1:You watch snap. Yeah, see, that's that crazy. You know, when I was married I had to bring my wife from watching it cause I was scared she was gonna try to do something that shit to me.
Speaker 2:Yeah cause you could actually like learn tricks on snap. Like you know like oh yeah, what will get you caught, what won't get you caught, like how people get caught up and stuff like that. So I think that's a good thing yeah, but. I wouldn't do anything like that yeah.
Speaker 1:And she was crazy. It come on. If you look at your TV. It come on at night. All them crazy how I killed my husband and got away with it, or how I left my wife in a bushes and got away with it. Man, all that shit come on at night. So when he sleep she looking at that like, yeah, I'm gonna get this muck.
Speaker 2:You're like yeah, that's it Right. You're very sleepy when one eye open.
Speaker 1:Man, you better not go to sleep at all. Yeah, but so check this out my weekend. My weekend was cool, like I said looked at a little movie, checked out some things. I just got a chance to watch I forgot the name of the Goddard movie with Denzel Washington Barbie.
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought you were Barbie.
Speaker 1:Hell. No, I would not spend my money on that. Really, barbie, no, anywho.
Speaker 2:What's your baby? What's your baby girl? She's 21. I'm 30 something and I watch Barbie. Oh my god no.
Speaker 1:See, that's the thing about it. When she was a kid kid she didn't play with Barbie's at all, like I would buy her and they would stay in a box Like, and I moved. When we moved in our storage thing it was like 20 Barbies brand new in the box, what she like dog. She didn't play with none of it. She liked Elmo's oh. Okay she, she, she, she. Like a Elmo, she'll drag the M or round. It was like three animals in a in a in a storage when brand new, she's just stopped likes. When she got like six or seven she stopped playing with stuff like that. She was into electronics or or her. Self-assured okay, what ever else?
Speaker 2:like that.
Speaker 1:I was like I whatever shoot, keep money in my pocket right, well, no. You know, you know, ain't got to deal with that, you know. But my favorite, my favorite, my favorite Sesame Street character was Cookie Monster. That was my favorite one.
Speaker 2:Really.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I think, he is for cookie. That's good enough for me. Oh, cookie, cookie. Cookie starts with C.
Speaker 2:Okay, I love I don't know. I felt like he taught the kids how to be kind of greedy.
Speaker 1:How dare they talk about cookie monster in that way?
Speaker 2:okay, I like big word.
Speaker 1:Word was cool, you know. You know, everybody said kind of Dracula was a pimp, you know.
Speaker 2:No way.
Speaker 1:Who blah blah blah?
Speaker 2:Yeah, he was speaking, ebonics.
Speaker 1:But we can. Good, I'm choked out, and now I'm here at the and the lion studios Chicken kicking it with you. But let's take some. On my weekend I had to go to the grocery store Because a brother's single and he has to cook for himself. So I said you know, let me go to the grocery store. I want to go, I wanted to make me some fried chicken. So some baked chicken, some macaroni and cheese, some greens, some cornbread, say what you may green oh heck yeah yeah. Yeah, you gotta wash them, suckers. Wash them, wash them good. Put some vinegar. Throw some vinegar in your water Before you start washing them. Wash them real good. Take it out. You see the dirt dump it. Wash it again. Take it out. See the dirt double. Uh-huh. When you cook your greens, your greens should not, your water should not be black, and we know you. If you do that, you eat in Salmonella you for the day or dirt or dirt no we don't, yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, what happened to the peach cobbler?
Speaker 1:And that's what I've seen. A man I I got. I didn't make the peach cobbler yet I got all the stuff for it, so I was gonna make it tonight. I don't think I'm making now, I might make it tomorrow more afternoon. Yeah, I made everything else, you know. But let's get back to the story at hand. So I'm coming out the store, got my bags, got my stuff, got my stuff, boom, boom, it's a car here and this car isn't and I'm next to a car in a stall. I'll pull my buddy around. My buggy is it's, the car is here, my buggy is here. That's as much as little space. That is by this latest car. And I see her get in the car. But I'm thinking I can be quicker and get the stuff out on my car before she tried to back up. So she gets in, starts up, boom, put it in here, right then. And then, like they ain't right, you could have slowed down for a little minute for a better. So she, I said, oh, I'm very apologetic because I see I'm in the wrong. Sorry, you know, my bad, I'm sorry, so sorry, you know. I pull my buggy around and I'm saying sorry. She rolls her window down like whatever and drive off. Yeah, why, what? What was the? What was the why? Why? Why do you have to be so mad, so angry, so hard? What did I do?
Speaker 2:Did you accidentally hit her car? Would I, did I?
Speaker 1:Didn't touch her car. My buggy was so freaking far away from her car that I could have walked past it. It was far away. I'm like, yeah, so that's why I got in my car and I said you know, I gotta go to the platform, I gotta go, I gotta talk to the people about this and I gotta talk to the ladies about this. I'm like why in this day and age are women so freaking hard? What happened to the soft lady, to the gentle lady, to the kind lady, to the it's okay, baby, don't worry about it and walk away from it? Mm-hmm, what happened to the woman who don't hold a grudge, or when you argue, you let it go? What happened to that woman?
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, my question is what happened to the providing men? What happened to the strong masculine men? That's what I mean. We're, you know. I Want to know the same thing, but on my end, what's happening?
Speaker 1:So I can, I can, I truly can answer that question for you, if that's what you now now let me get. No, don't get me now. Now, don't get me wrong. There are Steel Masculine man. I'm one of them. They are providing man, I'm one of them. They are steel. There are steel men that out there that hold their own doing what they supposed to do the right way. Okay just like women. Yeah it's also women. It's also women that are Got a good man but still treat them like dirt. Explain that.
Speaker 2:Are they really good, men? Is the question, like you were talking about earlier, like on, let's say, on social media or even like anything like that you see the goods, you don't see the bad.
Speaker 1:What I'm saying. For me, if his house providing him cheating on you, he ain't beating on you. He's providing cooking, cleaning, helping you out, do with the kids and everything else. To me, I think that's a good man.
Speaker 2:But where are they? What man do you actually know that provides, who cooks, who cleans, who does all this stuff?
Speaker 1:Me. I just told you I did that when I was married. I did it.
Speaker 2:You did it, but what's the reason why you guys separated Like you didn't do it good enough?
Speaker 1:The reason? No, it wasn't that, it was some other shit. Oh, it was some other stuff. In life, you learn that you, you separate and you pull apart from your people. It's not what you do, it's just that time is up and you gotta realize that shit.
Speaker 2:Absolutely, I totally agree. But with what you've said, I think, the lack of like. You're talking about modern day women doing things that they did back then, like being submissive, being respectful, being polite and quiet and soft and stuff like that. But these men are not creating environments for women to be soft Like you want her to be your piece, but then in reality that means you letting them do whatever, you letting them run all over you, you know setting boundaries and then them feeling attacked from your boundaries. You want to submit it, but you don't know how to lead. It's just like even the 50-50 thing. That's like going on all over social media like you want it to be. Like 50-50 where, okay, you pay half and I pay half, but, like a lot of people have said, like I raise the kids, take them to school, do everything else and work, and it's just like you can't get a soft woman out of that. That's why we're so hard, because we have to be the protectors, the providers, the money makers, all that stuff and then we gotta be soft. How?
Speaker 1:So when all likes to watch you a woman is, their nature is supposed to be soft. Their nature is supposed to be loving, caring, not providing. But I'm sorry, you know what it is a providing, because they're providing love and nature and caring. So that is a providing service. But now, on the other hand, as a man, he's supposed to be there to make sure that she has that environment to do that. Now I do understand the part of that. Sometimes we pick the wrong woman and you guys pick the wrong man. Sometimes we look at things and it's not what it's supposed to be. But what I can say is this a man will only do what a woman allow him to do.
Speaker 2:I disagree.
Speaker 1:I can't do that Because, honestly, if you allow that man to sit in your house and not do no work, sit in your house and feed him, sit in your house and sex him, sit in your house and then do everything else he has to do or want to do and don't say anything about it, you allow that.
Speaker 2:I think there's narcissistic men, there's manipulative men and stuff like that, and our nature is to be soft and caring and nurturing and stuff like that, so it's just like that all plays a part in something Like we're entrusting you guys and you guys, don't do us how we should be done right.
Speaker 1:I love how you said that, but in that whole fact of the matter, there is nothing that says a woman should be stupid.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I don't. Yeah, I don't think we should be stupid.
Speaker 1:Now my whole thing is now. Don't get me wrong. I never said a woman should be strong. I love a strong black woman. I love a strong woman, period. But being submissive to the right man is what we're looking for.
Speaker 2:Being yeah, but how do you know who's the right man?
Speaker 1:How do you know who's the right man?
Speaker 2:We think we know people and in all actuality we meet associate people. So when I met you, I met associate Snow. I didn't meet who Snow really was. I don't even know what you're doing your spare time or whatever the case may be. I don't know you all the way. Just like you might get in a relationship with Cynthia. You don't know Cynthia like that but then you fall into love and you start going being head over heels for this person and you stop seeing the bad in them and it's just like we're stuck on where we are you never and it's like it's hard to get out.
Speaker 1:I think you never stop seeing I'm sorry, you never stop seeing the bad in the person. You refuse to say something about it. That's what it is. You never stop seeing the bad. How?
Speaker 2:about? We overlook it. How about we can say we overlook it. So we overlook the bad. Just like men and women, we overlook that stuff. And there's some things we're conditioned to be okay with. That would society and stuff like that. It's like okay. And then when we, by the time, we realized like hey, this isn't working for me. There's kids involved, there's a home involved, there's emotions involved, everything is involved, and it's hard to just take yourself out Emotionally, physically. All that stuff is hard. And this is the thing. Have you ever been in a relationship where it's like you wanna leave but you know, let's say what'll happen to your kids and stuff like that? Like we see a lot of women having traumas from not having dads. So it's like we, that guilt trip gets on us and it's like damn, like I see how it was without me having a dad. So my daughter has to have a dad. So that's part of that mental overload that these women have and it's just like I kind of have to deal with it a little bit. Even though it's not the right thing, in our mind and our emotions it feels like the right thing. Do you get what I'm saying?
Speaker 1:I dig what you're saying and I also understand this At the point of not sounding like the evil guy or the no good guy at some point. When you find and the question you asked me was, how do you know he's a good person If he's there for you, no matter what's going on with him and his life, and he's giving you his time, his, his, his. If he's giving you his heart and he's showing it to you and he's being A1 honest with you. Trust that man that because, trust me, there's not many dudes that's gonna be out there if he don't wanna be with you, just showing you.
Speaker 2:Okay, wait. So what if a man was never shown how to be good to a woman? Does that make him a bad man?
Speaker 1:No, and what it is? Is this you? How can I say this? I can show you wonderful practice right here. I can show someone how to fish all night long, every day, all day long, all day long. But then, on top of that is, if I show him how to fish, he would go out there and do it himself. He started picking up ways and doing it how he wants to do it, not the way I should. So it's not that he hasn't been shown or taught or someone took the time to show him what to do. It's the fact that, no matter he wants to do it, how he wants to do it, so every man knows right from wrong Every man has a woman, every man has a child. Every man has a woman. That woman is his mother. That's the first person he loves. I don't care what's going on. That mother can spank him, hurt him, do everything to him. Guess what was going to happen. You're gonna come right back to mom.
Speaker 2:He's gonna come back and love her and flamborotoxic all the time. Treat these sons as if they enabled their sons. They kick out their daughters. Or let's say, they're raising their daughters, enabling their sons. So and then? If you don't have a father figure, you don't know what it's like to be a real man. Or even if you do have a father figure, but he's not showing you how it is to be a man or what a man should do. He's out there picking up different women, while he got mom at home and you sitting in the car and it's like, hey, don't tell mom that we went to go visit Sally and stuff like that. That stuff is okay. So how do you? How do you, let's say, recondition these men to be like, hey, that's not okay, when this is something they've grown upward?
Speaker 1:That's when the woman comes in.
Speaker 2:So that's when the woman comes in.
Speaker 1:That's when that woman comes in and understands that, hey, he's a good man, but he just has flaws. That's when that woman because honestly, an essence of a woman, a real woman will change a man.
Speaker 2:What's a real woman?
Speaker 1:Someone who doesn't have to. When she walks in the room, people's turn around. I'm like, oh okay, let me get my shit together. That's a real woman. And I have been around. I have walked in rooms with real women.
Speaker 2:A real woman or a boss woman?
Speaker 1:Same thing, same thing, same thing and, honestly, when she's a boss, she doesn't have to be so wait, wait.
Speaker 2:What determines that? Is that her looks? Is that her personality, Is that her attitude? It's her essence.
Speaker 1:It's who she is as a person. It's. I'm not afraid to tell you how I feel inside, and I'm not afraid to let you know what you're doing wrong, so a woman with boundaries. Pretty much so.
Speaker 2:Okay, a woman with boundaries, Because every woman.
Speaker 1:every woman should have a set of rules that she goes by dating, marry or whatever else. Never let a man or and a man never let a woman overtake them. Everybody should stay in their place. If you stay in your place, trust me, that whole relationship will go great. Now, the whole thing about it is I've been in rooms with women, that I've been in conferences with women that she steps in the room and everybody gets to attention. Yes, ma'am.
Speaker 2:So it's like her aura, so her aura. When she's her aura, when she steps into a room, her energy, or they would say like never.
Speaker 1:That's the one, that, that, that that will you say in your pants and you say, oh, this beat is whole, this mother will give, and she steps in the room. Amen, you get another brother, amen, Don't say that around her. Don't talk to, don't talk. Don't talk like that around her.
Speaker 2:Okay, so her energy is on point Okay, but that's learned behavior, it's always learned.
Speaker 1:Everything, everything in a relationship is learned, Everything is is breaking and learned.
Speaker 2:Okay. So what I want to understand is you're saying being a good man is showing good qualities, but also, if you were raised wrong, a boss woman can show you how to be a real good man.
Speaker 1:I'll kid you. I will say I'm not even a boss woman, just a regular, a real woman. Understanding a real woman can show you how to do it.
Speaker 2:Okay, and then you ask why women are so hard. Right, but we have these men who, let's say, treat us certain ways and create that hardness in our hearts. But you guys want us to be soft.
Speaker 1:So my question is this again. So, and I can tell you this, this is what I'm saying If one man treats you wrong, why treat the other next man the same way you treat him?
Speaker 2:I think it's not treating them as holding up that wall until you could show me something different.
Speaker 1:But my whole thing is this, and I look at the whole spectrum If one man messes up with a woman, every man's a doll.
Speaker 2:Yeah absolutely. And then she'll, but it shouldn't be like that. Until you could show me something different.
Speaker 1:But it shouldn't be like that. Why do I have to say that?
Speaker 2:It shouldn't, but the way women are conditioned and the way men are conditioned, especially nowadays, it's just like you have to hold that wall up, because if you don't, they'll run all over you.
Speaker 1:Nope, nope. I keep telling you this you only, a man, will only do what you allow him to do, and at that point in time, if he got boundaries up and you're telling him hey, this is what I'm gonna do, this is what I can do, this is what I'm not gonna do. If he sees and if he understands and don't respect that, that's your time to bail out.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:See, that's the thing about it. We stick around. We stick around and see. Well, he might listen, he might not, but if he can't tell you at that point in time when you set this line, he can understand and respect it. It's time for you to go.
Speaker 2:Men play games, just like women's play games and things like that. They will be exactly who you want them to be. Make you fall in love and then start to change.
Speaker 1:No one makes you fall in love.
Speaker 2:No one makes you fall in love, makes you fall in love, helps you to fall in love.
Speaker 1:There you go. I'm saying because I don't care how much I'll be around a person. If I'm not filling you, you can't make me do nothing, you can't.
Speaker 2:But why would you not be filling them when they're creating a space for you to fill them? They're doing everything you want them to do, exactly how you want them to do. It manipulate you. You've been manipulated. I'm pretty sure I've been manipulated. I've manipulated other people, but it's just oh, no, yeah. So it's just like you be that person, who they want you to be, and then, all of a sudden, you change. So when you get them in the palm of your hand.
Speaker 1:It's like OK, I got you. Well, you know what, your whole relationship is a lie, I guess.
Speaker 2:So you get what you want, I guess.
Speaker 1:But I'm saying in a relationship what is it, what are you getting? I don't get this. I don't get the fact that I have to, I have to manipulate you to get what I want, because everybody wants something.
Speaker 2:Say what Everybody wants something. If you're broke, you want some money, right, you want somebody to be able to pay your bills. So you're like, hey, I got to act right, so they'll start paying stuff. And then start saying, hey, I'm back on bills, can you help me with this? Hey, I don't got no gas in my tank. And then when you get them where you want them and they start to offer just on their own and you ain't got to say stuff like you got them. But, see, it's not a relationship, it's more of like I don't know what to call it, but it's just like they're just using you for something.
Speaker 1:But they pretend like it's a relationship.
Speaker 2:So you get in this mode where it's like you feel so loved and in a relationship and they do some good things on some days and do some bad things on some other days and it's just like, OK, but the good is more than the bad. You don't know what people's intentions are. We don't know what people's intentions are because we're not there.
Speaker 1:People didn't understand this right here, right now. If you tell me that you care for me, you love me, and every day you're asking me for money, give me, give me, give me, give me or go, do this or do that for me, or do this or do that for me, and when I ask you for something I don't get it, that's a red flag.
Speaker 2:I don't think they're not going to give it to you.
Speaker 1:I think it's like If they're using you, it would. It's like that.
Speaker 2:No, it's not like that at all. I totally disagree. If I need $100 and I say, hey, babe, my car ran out of gas, it's $50 to fill my tank, and you ask me for some money, I'll tell you, hey, this is the last $10 that I have and it'll make you fill a certain type of way, because you're like, oh, you're going to give me your last. And then it's like there you go. They didn't tell you no, they just didn't give you what you needed.
Speaker 1:So then that feeds you to do what I'm so sorry I got to call that. That's a game like a son of a gun.
Speaker 2:No, no no, you didn't do it.
Speaker 1:I'm talking to my brothers out there. Hold on right quick. I got to talk to my brother. You just heard what she just said. If you catch a round, catch a round, catch a round. Any female out there that be like, oh, this is my last, but like give it to me.
Speaker 2:No, no, no no, no, no. I learned this through my brother. I didn't learn this through no woman. See, I learned this through my brother.
Speaker 1:Here's a hustler, your brother's a hustler.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I didn't learn that from a woman. I don't even know if women do it. I know men do.
Speaker 1:I'm just saying this, man, my whole thing was this Like I grew up, when I grew up in a day and age when women were soft and kind and nice and nothing. And I'm not going to lie to you, I know some women with some hustling females out there. I know some pimping niggas out there. Why? Because one of my uncles was a pimp. But I understood two things. I understood when you talk to a woman, show her who you are, show she can have the decency to say I don't want to be with him or I want to be with him.
Speaker 2:Absolutely that's it.
Speaker 1:But we also have to recognize you don't have to be hard Women, even though you raising your kids and doing everything you have to do. You don't have to be hard. Your nature is not to be hard. Your nature is to be soft and kind and loving. You ought to change who you are because somebody else hurts. You See, that's the thing about it. Women will. You can be in a relationship with a woman, and whatever Tom did 20 years ago, you're going to pay for it. Why, why do I have to pay for another man's mistake and I'm sitting here doing everything I can to make you happy, to make you loving? That's when that hardness comes.
Speaker 2:Ah, tom did this to me 20 years.
Speaker 1:Oh no, I don't want to deal with you no more. What the heck? What do I do? I just do my shoes, I just do my socks on the floor All the time through. Socks on the floor 20 years ago Really OK.
Speaker 2:Honestly hurt people, hurt people.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, All the time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree. And then wait wait, wait, wait, let's back it up.
Speaker 1:Let's back it up a little bit, Because people know what they do. People know exactly what they do. It ain't one of them. Oh, I made a mistake to smack in your forehead. No, you know exactly what you're doing. Hurt people. Don't hurt people. Hurt people just do it just because Because they feel better about themselves. That's what it is.
Speaker 2:Have you ever been a hurt person that hurt somebody else?
Speaker 1:No, no, no, Because for me, honestly, I don't let. I try my best not to let things get to me that deep that I have to hurt somebody else that didn't do anything to me, if you didn't do this, this, this action that's making me feel this way. I'm not gonna portray my evilness, my upsetness, my, my, my, my, my pain upon you. I'm not gonna do that. That's not cool.
Speaker 2:You don't know what it's like to be a hurt person. I hurt somebody else.
Speaker 1:I can't say that I do, but I can say that I've been around hurt people, that they try to screw you, who screw Somebody else over, because they still feel, whatever Tom did or whatever Joanne did, whatever Barbara did to them, because they can't.
Speaker 2:They can't get over like and sometimes, most of the time, it's unintentional pain and we go and we.
Speaker 1:Because I don't heard that so many times. What the hell is unintentional pain?
Speaker 2:It's not like we're doing it on purpose, people. I don't hurt people, hurt people on purpose. I think it's. First of all, it's a learned behavior, and you can wait, stay right there, stay right there.
Speaker 1:You said it's a learned behavior.
Speaker 2:So that's a learn, know what you're doing.
Speaker 1:You see what you're doing. But you don't see the wrong.
Speaker 2:You were taught this or this was instilled in you.
Speaker 1:But if someone's doing it, because I have- no. I know, I know somebody said a what you're doing is not right and it hurts. So if somebody came to you and said that, why not stop it? I'm Confused about that point like we talk about opinions.
Speaker 2:That's somebody's opinion, if you know. See, if they're saying, hey, this is wrong, this ain't wrong to me, it's wrong to you but if it's hurting me it's wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm gonna hit some little porn. If y'all want to pull around on with me, go for it, and it's nothing to get you bad, it's some good stuff for you. I'll let you know what I'm drinking after the show. Continue, please.
Speaker 2:Okay, so what I think, what I think it is, is it first of all, it's learn behavior. We don't, I don't think we do things unintentionally. I do think that we kind of like push our feelings and project on to other people and a lot of the time we don't, we don't see it being wrong.
Speaker 1:So you're telling me right right now, me and you together, me and you kicking, and we together, we good, and and it's a lady comes by and I start talking as a lady and everything else, and we good, and you go home and you come and tell me what you told her, what you said to her. I, I didn't like it, I'm hurt by it, and I say, okay, I'm sorry, whatever, the next day we go out and I do it again. You.
Speaker 2:Weren't sorry, you didn't feel like it was wrong, you just you just tried to. You just tried to aid me and feeling okay.
Speaker 1:So my question to you is this I know you told me what was wrong. You told me it hurt you.
Speaker 2:You told me everything that was wrong with you, but I decided to keep doing Me but if you, if you talk like this your whole life, there's no wrong that you should see it.
Speaker 1:Right. You're telling me, if the person that I say that I love, it's the person that I said and I'm with and they're telling me that hurts, I don't care. What I was taught it's not. What you taught back in the day is what you, what you need to learn now?
Speaker 2:But we're, we're new age. We're new age, yeah, where all that stuff that we were taught? Back then it don't matter, because we were taught to be married and to have children, but nowadays they're saying it's okay to have multiple sexual partners as a woman, you know. So, all that stuff we were taught and we've learned, they, they do not coincide with today, in 2023.
Speaker 1:So you know, man, don't nothing. I was, I was. I was born in the 80s, I'm a baby, so everything that I was taught back in the 80s about loving a woman, or or, providing, or, or, or. Be at home with your kids, or, or, or, or, or or. Be there, love your kids. Make sure your kids do this, make sure they don't do that.
Speaker 2:No, it is not coincide with none of this.
Speaker 1:No, none of this goes with what's what was really your grandmother taught you back in the day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, none of it coincides. Marriage is out the window. Respect for yourself as a woman is out the window. Prostitution is that all time high? And it's supposed to be okay to be a prostitute date. Multiple men have different baby daddies. That's cute.
Speaker 1:So and it's crazy, like, like you know, we win a barrier or whatever I'm having and I'm driving, I'm rolling my bin, doing pretty good for myself and everything. So I'm looking and I hear At my window, I'm at the light, and it's a little girl and I'm gonna call you a little girl Because one, you look like you're supposed to be in somebody's high school. Hey, what are you going? I'm going to church, can I guess you so can go. Mm-hmm, she was like oh no, that's okay, I don't want to go. I don't want to go. You need to go. I'm like you. You're that bold to Tap on somebody's window that you don't know. You're that bold to step in a car that you could be your last car you're stepping in. You're that old to the what I'm saying. All my whole scenario ends this, and the reason I came up with this topic is I love a strong woman. I love a fearless woman. I love a woman that knows what she wants and knows how to go and get what she wants. I love a woman that can also Be in her place as she's married. I love a woman that can also. Her silence is more than her even talking. I live with a woman that when she, when she speaks to her man, it's in respect and they're together as a couple, not she's running something and he's oh, we'll keep it right, do what you take. No, it's not. And that quote what everybody loves saying a happy wife is a happy life boo crap. So that means what, would you tell me? The man has to be sad and destitute and pushed in the corner and do whatever she tells me.
Speaker 2:No, I think when they're talking about that, it's like you create like in order for a woman to show you love, like she has to be shown love.
Speaker 1:So when a woman. So my whole thing is that you said a happy wife is a happy life, A happy wife is a happy life. You set the tone.
Speaker 2:You set the tone and she sets the atmosphere. So, if you're hoping to hear a dog and a woman and stuff like that, like when you come home you're not gonna be happy, you're not gonna be sweet here. But when you're loving on her and you're nurturing her and just doing the things you're supposed to be doing as a man, of course the whole household is happy because in all actuality the woman is in control of everything. Men think they control the household. No, a woman does. A woman does all that stuff.
Speaker 1:See, that's the thing about it, the woman is in control. I love you. I love how you say that. That's wonderful, but you gotta go. If you're gonna do it the right way, we're gonna go up to you. So we're gonna do it with the Bible. The Bible puts the man ahead of the household. The man is ahead, absolutely I totally agree, and you don't have to even call the woman the wiper of sex.
Speaker 2:Then I'll talk. Okay, the man is ahead. So he creates the foundation, so true. And he takes care of everything. But, the woman is the one doing all the duties in the household. The woman knows the shoe size. The woman knows the performance of the kids at school. The woman knows the man. The men don't even know themselves, and your woman knows you more than anything. So, she's the one really in charge of everything. All you're doing is providing and you're protecting. You're making sure nobody goes into the household. You're making sure the bills are paid. The woman is making sure the house is clean, that you got food in your stomach. You could be strong and be out there and do what you're supposed to do. I respect that. I think that's what it is. So it's like a woman is really in control, because without a woman you'll fall apart, Like ah, Now I wouldn't say fall apart, but it is good to be. Well, depending on how you're raised and what type of woman you were raised around. If you don't know how to cook, your diet will suffer. If you don't have money management, you'll be broke. Like you won't have a roof over your head. That's what the woman is for. That's what the woman's role is supposed to be submissive and to be soft and do the inside duties. Take care of the kids. What better than a woman taking care of the kids? The kids, of course, need to be protected and to be provided for, and a woman I don't feel like a woman could really do that. But a woman can be nurturing and loving and create a safe environment for the kids and stuff like that. But it's just like I don't think, as a man, your emotional capacity can deliver in that type of way. Like you're saying, a man can't be, he can't express his self, and we teach our young boys don't express yourself. No, that's where the woman comes into play.
Speaker 1:See, that's the thing about it. We were told, as younger men, as young kids, don't cry. We was told don't cry, boys, don't cry, get up and walk it off and everything. But I had to look and understand. God gave me tear ducts to cry, to get this stuff out, to understand. Hey, this is an emotion. This is an emotion that I possess, I have, and sometimes I need to cry to get some things out, because half the cats that didn't cry, they don't cry, they want to be hard, they're behind bars or they'll blow somebody's head off because all that stress and anger and everything else that snapped them off and got dug in nine eight, they kill the people. So you know.
Speaker 2:And I think, because we pushed that narrative to the young people, the young men, that's why they're so crazy and just like irate, because it's like they don't know how to express themselves.
Speaker 1:Not a lot of people, not a lot of young men nowadays know how to express themselves.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's what I'm saying you don't know, so you don't know how you're gonna act in ways that are just insane True true, just to get an expression. Some men beat on women.
Speaker 1:That's their way of expressing themselves and that's the worst way of all, because now, once that one man hits that woman, she thinks every other man want to hit her.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's over.
Speaker 1:And that one man can destroy a whole woman's career, a whole woman's livelihood, a whole woman's loving. If a man rapes a woman, you done messed it up for any other man that might find her attractive or loving or whatever, because right now her guard is up and is ready. Especially if anybody that was in a household did that to her, If her cousin did it, or if a family member did it. It's over. It's over the thing about it what I don't understand, but I have to understand it and I have to get more of an understanding for it. Sometimes, when we get in relationships, we don't do back work. We don't find out what happened to them when they were growing up or what happened to that next that relationship before you got with me. You know what did he do? Why are you not with him? We don't ask those questions.
Speaker 2:We don't ask, we're not supposed to, because what's in the past is the past. That's what we're conditioned to do, oh that was him, that's just me. Now we're more educated as people with social media, with even certain circumstances that we've gone through. Now we know to ask those questions, but back then it's just like, oh yeah, whatever he did, your man ain't me Like, you know, that's just me. So now we're learning our young people, our next generation, from us. They're learning, like, hey, childhood traumas. They're learning parental traumas, they're learning about when their parents were molested as kids and things like that, and you know the dos and the don'ts, but we didn't get that.
Speaker 1:The narrative was different and healing.
Speaker 2:healing is like what these young people are doing and I think that's a beautiful thing, because us and our parents we didn't heal. We kind of like our parents pushed their traumas on us and created all kinds of other things.
Speaker 1:We adapted to our situation. Yep, that's all that is. We adapted to the situation that was around us and we made best, as was to do, and a lot of it ended up toxic. It's true that's, and believe it or not, we're gonna have to slow down and take a small break and talk about some other things and then we're gonna have to wrap this thing up because did you know? Did you know, we got a store, A store, A store, we have a store. The lounge has a store. I am like crazy excited about this. Like my producer was like, hey man, hey, we got a store. I was like, man, we got a store. And you know me, I ain't gonna listen to you that much. I hung up and I went.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure I hung up on them.
Speaker 1:I did. I mean, I'm staying hung up on them, Don't tell them that. Yeah, and then we got a link. And then one of the people at my gig was like, hey, man, y'all got a store, I'm like a store Right. So I got the. They sent me the link. I checked it out. Man, we got hoodies, we got hats, we got aprons for the holidays. So you won't mess up your gear and everything I need y'all to go to the lounge seven at lounge sevenmyspreadshopcom, Lounge seven at myspreadshopcom. The link will be in on needs to be running right across. Let me see Right Up or away right there. There you go. That's what I think it'd be, or to be somewhere up here, so you can get it Okay.
Speaker 2:Excellent, so we can get our mugs, our t-shirts? Yes, yes. Shirt sleeves yes, absolutely yes. So you want to put a picture on it?
Speaker 1:Yeah, we got. We got even little blankets too. You know what our pictures is up on it. It's clean. And then we got we got one with our picture on it. And then we got one that just says the logo in the lounge, which I mean against the little quote was a grown and sexy play. It's kind of clean, though, Like it's a good little vibe, and I'm like oh, the coffee mug. So next time y'all see me drinking, it won't be out of a glass, It'll be out of a glass, or maybe a glass with your picture on it.
Speaker 2:Ah, I know I see him the link, but I didn't get to check it out yet. But I definitely will check it out as soon as I get the time.
Speaker 1:Okay, we know when you're busy, you're busy, matt, I had. I really, really am thankful that you had time to sit down and talk to her. Talk to her. You know we went over this conference. We went over this topic because, you know, a lot of brothers were like man, I want to talk to her, but she looks so hard. Sometimes you need to. I'm just saying lighten up a little bit, you might get more.
Speaker 2:You know what I think before I was married and then would just be like, oh, like you know, I think it's just your facial expressions.
Speaker 1:That resting person face yeah.
Speaker 2:Rest in person face.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I know.
Speaker 2:So I think that's what it is, because I know I've had it and a couple of people are like, oh my gosh, you look standoffish. And then they get to know me and they're like you're actually really cool and I'm like, okay, but I just think, whatever you like, go for it. We're in our last days, you know. Do what you feel is right, follow your heart, just do you.
Speaker 1:Ladies and gentlemen, you heard of him. We are in our last. You know you get old. If you need a relationship, find somebody. Get somebody, love somebody. Man, you know, do, take your time. You are, don't work. You know. Love who you are. So this is the last of it. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, I just came to tell you love who you love, enjoy who you love, respect who you love. This is the Lounge. My name is Stone.
Speaker 2:And I'm your co-host B. We love you. Peace. I just came to tell you love who you love, respect who you love, respect who you love. I just came to tell you love who you love, respect who you love, respect who you love. I just came to tell you love who you love, respect who you love, respect who you love. I just came to tell you love who you love, respect who you love, respect who you love. I just came to tell you love who you love, respect who you love, respect who you love. I just came to tell you love who you love, respect who you love, respect who you love. Thanks for watching.