Personal Battles and Triumphs: Overcoming Self-Sabotage

What if the biggest enemy you're fighting is actually yourself? Welcome to our latest episode where we unpack the weighty topic of self-sabotage, and how it can impact not only our mental wellbeing but our relationships too. I, your host, J Stone, share some of my personal encounters with this destructive behavior and how it can lead us astray from our path to success. I also reveal a lighter note, my upcoming birthday, adding a dash of celebration to our deep-dive discussion.

Joining us in our exploration is a guest who has recently experienced a relationship, seemingly on the brink of disruption due to self-sabotage. Through their story, we gain insight into the intricate nature of self-sabotage, and how it intertwines with our interpersonal relationships. We also discuss the importance of a supportive network, and the insidious effects of remaining in toxic relationships. Beyond our mental health, we draw attention to the significance of caring for our physical health, especially as we age. I open up about a personal experience with a back injury, underscoring the importance of nurturing our bodies.

As we near the end of another year, we pause to express gratitude for the highs, the lows, the lessons learned, and the promise of a brighter future. Whether you have fallen victim to self-sabotage or are seeking to understand it better, this episode is packed with insights that will resonate with you. So, tune in as we navigate this journey together, shedding light on the shadows of self-sabotage and how we can overcome them.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Ha, relax. What to with two? No, you choose one or the other. It is gentlemen, boys and girls, just involved. Yes, this is your boy, j Stone. Come to you, live with another edition of in the lounge With stone and be. I am so, so, so excited for you guys to be with me today. Today is a wonderful, wonderful day. I am excited. Why I'm excited? It is all merse, my Merse. Yes, I said Merse. It's almost my birthday. Man, like I'm so excited. It's like really, really excited about it. So I'm thankful for it. I'm thankful to see another agent, thankful to see another day that the Lord has blessed me to get up, to move around in my right mind, you know, you move them on my body and my limbs and all that good stuff. I'm so, so, so, so thankful. And also, we have a store. I'm thankful about that. I need you guys to go to. I need you guys to go to my store, which is wwwlounge lounge Market online dot com. That's lounge of market online Com, where you can Get beautiful coffee mugs like this. You can get coffee mugs like you just seen. You can get aprons, you can get socks, you can get hats, you can get earbuds. Whatever you see there, trust me buttons, magnets, stickers, t-shirts, hoodies, hats, socks what else is do I have in? I have, and, like they say, and much, much more, go stop by wwwloungemarketonlinecom that's the lounge marketonlinecom and when you get there, you got 10% off. 10% off, buy something I don't care what it is, it's a sticker or something and Hit me up online. Let me know you got something from me. You know I might send you something else. You know you get a sticker. I might send you a t-shirt. You know, just to just you should be able to get a sticker. You know, just to just you. Show in love to me that much. And I'm gonna tell you the mugs are pretty freaking good and they're really they're. They're dishwasher safe, they're microwave safe as well, and also what you put them in is pretty good and it's pretty deep. So so go check it out. Check it out. Marketplace marketplace, lounge Market, not marketplace. No, no, no. That is lounge lounge Market online dot com. That is lounge market online dot com. Go check me out. Oh man, like I said, it's almost my birthday. I how, with you guys, this thing is given Matter of fact. Let's slow it down. How's your mental health? Has anyone upset you today? Has anything upset you today? Has anyone Try to upset you today? So if those answers are yes, I need you to stop, take a deep breath, count the ten and and tell yourself they can do nothing to you. Your God's child, you're most wonderfully made and loved by him. Do not allow Someone to mess up your day because they're having a day. And Since I said that, let's get into this topic self sabotage. Yeah, bum, bum, bum bum. Yes, we're gonna talk about self sabotage. The reason I'm gonna talk about that is because Lately I have been seeing it, um, and I was a study of it. Now I couldn't win, caught a study, but it affected me. So let's do this, let's. I'm gonna give you a little story and then I'm gonna tell you about this sabotage and thing. So had a young lady, beautiful young lady came over Thanksgiving. We enjoyed each other company. We're talking expressing, by the way, by at this time my back was in traction, it was locked up. You know I couldn't move much. I can't do anything. So around Thanksgiving I wouldn't move and I wouldn't do another day. No, no, none of that. I'm stretching, I'm bending and moving out. So thankful to that. So let's get back to the story. I'll tell you about the back thing in a few. So, um, you know, I said, you know what, I'm not with my mom or my brother, my sister and their kids and my naces and nephews. I said, let me, let me, let me, let me see who can I be with, or whatever. My daughter was gone somewhere and my son was somewhere else and my other daughter, she was somewhere else. So I said, you know what, you know, let me have somebody over the crib boom Called up. Yeah, no problem. Okay came over and we're having a great conversation. We're sitting here talking, eating, chilling, having a good time. I didn't clean up the house and everything in my state, I didn't clean up the house, good. So we are sitting, talking, chilling, everything good, and she says this word that Not then, but now it threw up a red flag. She said, you know, we haven't had an argument yet. I'm like, why, or why would we have an argument? What? Why do you want to have an argument? Oh no, I'm just saying nothing. Okay, okay, no problem, no problem. Night came, night fell, we, we, well, I had to sleep on the couch. You know, I had gave her my bed or whatever. Oh no, I couldn't do, not nothing. So I slept on the couch and she helped me. I got me propped up, gave me nice and comfortable and she went on, laid on down or whatever made me happy. Um, let's see how how. Uh, next morning came around, I felt a little bit better, I could move a little bit. I took her to work. She said I'm gonna come back. I said, hey, you hear you are more than welcome to. So I looked through. I came home, said I ain't gotta give me the auto man. I said I'm gonna get an auto man when I go and pick her up. She gets off around like four, I think, like 430, something like that. And uh, so I said I'll drove up there, picked her up, boom, as soon as she got in the car she's complaining. One thing I do not like. I don't like A woman that complains all the time, complains and nag, complains and nags. I ain't got, I don't have this, this while that girl. Chill, relax you with me. If you ain't got it, i'ma get it for your neck. I'ma give it to you so you can be cool and be happy with it. Cool out, relax. So at first I'm hot as the air condition, I'm hungry. Food is at the crib. Remember I cooked already. I'm tired. It's a big, huge bed that you slept in. You can take a shower, eat, go to sleep, relax yourself. Problem solved, so because I told her already. So we are, uh, going to Get. You know, come to cream she. She had to wash a little bit or whatever. You know, I don't care if I don't wash it, so she's. You know, I don't like being called names. You know, to me, to me, respect is respect, respect my house. Like Martin say, respect my house. And I said if I'm telling you, don't do that, don't call me that name, I don't like that, respect it. I bet you want me to respect what you asked me to do, so respect what I asked you to do. So she gets mad, goes in my room and slams and locks the door. Another red flag. Like come on now, baby girl, why would you lock a door that I pay rent in, I pay, I pay for this? Like I don't like to. Don't like, don't do that, come on now you, you're a guest here, don't act like that. I said I'm gonna get ready to go to remember, settle something in the awning on that awning, but uh, an ottoman. So I said do you want to go or not? She was like now I want to go and just let me know when you finna leave. I said. I said, well, often that's what I'm like. You know that I'm finna leave. She said, uh, well, I hope. I hope when you get back, your stuff is intact. Whoa, what that mean? I hope when you get back, my stuff is intact. Like what are you saying? You, finna, tap my stuff. Why would you do that? What's, what's, what's the reason behind Vandalizing my things? And I did nothing to you. So I'm like okay, you know what? Since those words rung out your mouth so quickly and easily, I was like you know what? It's time for you to go. I said you know what you need to get out. So, so these are the words that she uttered to me I ain't going, no, for well, and you know I ain't going nowhere. You know I ain't going, no, I ain't doing this, I ain't doing that. I said you need to leave. And if I don't, these are the words what I hate when I want to say what you're gonna do about it. And this is the words I told. I said see you, the type of lady that you, you, you want a man to put his hands on or Call the police on, and I said I'm not the one to do that. So you just sit, stay there. You sit there because, be good, be great. She sit there and thought about her, whatever. She packed a little stuff up, walked on out my dough. Well, she packed the stuff up and Went to the door. I said hey, you, you want me to take you, I want you to not to for me. I said you want to sit here and talk about what was going on? Because I'm the type of man I want to have a conversation. I Don't care if we had an argument, let's have a conversation. So we will have that argument again. Let's, let's, let's be grown about it and talk about it. I ain't got nothing to say to you. No problem. She walks out the door, boom. Now, mind you, the reason I'm saying this is self sabotage, because she's seen it was going too good. She's seen everything was flowing right. She just had to throw something in the mix. Why, like? Why would you? Why would you self sabotage this biggest thing? You could have went to the store and picked up Whatever you wanted to. I was ready. I was ready. I was like, hey, you want to pick up something, you want to get something. Boom, it's like I, whatever. So, mind you, I have never, never seen Uber, lyft or whoever she called came and got her ASAP slickity split and split. So I'm like I. Her last words walking out my door was I have nothing else to say. No problem. Now, when you say you have nothing else to say, that means you don't want to talk to me, you don't want to text me, you don't want to call me. None of that. I got the. I got a thesis from her. Now let's go back to this thing of Self sabotage and why and what is self sabotage? Self sabotage is a Is something people do that stops them that they will, they do to themselves that stops them from progressing to the next level or Getting something that they wanted or know they need. A lot of people think or or feel a body that they don't need nothing good, they don't deserve anything good. I'm here to tell you you deserve great things, you deserve good things. Let somebody love on you, let somebody love you, let somebody be there for you. Let somebody show you the love that they're trying to give. Let somebody know, you know, hey, it's nothing wrong with somebody saying, hey, do you need help? And you saying, yes, man, woman, woman, man, whoever, let them show you love. That's the Bible. And yes, I'm saying, and, yes, I. If you not with the Bible and and you listen to my podcast, I'm sorry, but the Bible says man should not live alone. That's man with woman or man. When he says man, he's talking woman and feet. A man and woman. That means person. People should not be alone. You need people around you. So, and it's good, it's good, it's good to have people around you, but you got to how to write people around you. So that's what I'm saying, so what I want to what that self sabotage. And then I said, I looked it up and said why do they do it? And it said because, like I said, they don't think they deserve good things, or it's it's a, it's a mental imbalance, or it's it's depression, or it's it's an anxiety thing or whatever may have you, it's that. And I'm sitting and trying to understand if you see good, let good happen to you. If you see good, let good happen to you. And I never understood this and I'm so sorry and I would love. I would love for someone a woman or Psychologists or a man or or whoever has this answer, to bring it to my show. I'm really I'm To talk to me and let me know, because I'm not bashing anyone, but I'm asking a question. When it's a woman and a man, and that man is hitting this woman, and she and she Understands that he is hitting her not out of love, but out of hate, out of anger, out of whatever he is doing, it is not out of love, but she'll go back around and come right back to him and say that she loves him and and he'll continue to do the same thing and she continued to do it, and some women get killed. In that matter. My question is why go back to someone that is treating you like dirt, mind you, you have a one that's treating you like a king or treating you like a queen yes, man, do it too treating you like a queen or treating you like a king and you want to go to the peasant. Why? Why, somebody? Let me know if you, if you know that answer, if you know that answer that I'm asking about why women go and you know being bad Relationships and getting hit, getting hurt, getting kicked in this, getting whipped or whatever may have. You please hit me up, talk to me, let me know. You can hit me on the honor. You can hit me on any of these. You can hit me on any of these. You can hit me on any of my. I'm sorry, just went play. That's crazy. You can hit me on any of my um Emails or any of my Twitter chats or any of my FaceTime, family Facebook's or anything. I want to know that question. You know, I want to know that answer to that question. It's not hard to love a person, I'm saying. I'm saying if you see something good and, like I said it, this isn't, this is not, this is not the only time it's happened. But no one understands it. No one sees when they sabotage in themselves or blocking themselves of something good or saying, oh, whatever you know to it. So I'm just saying it's not a hard thing to love a person. It's not man. It's not a hard thing to love a person. Um, I'm gonna go back to this self sabotage, but I want to let you know young people, young men, young women, preserve your backs, preserve your back, boy. When I tell you pain is real man, I'm telling you. Tuesday, right before Thanksgiving I think it was two, three days before Thanksgiving I Woke up at five o'clock in the morning. I Got up, got the cooking, feeling good, feeling great. Yeah, man, I got the cooking and cutting up stuff and moving here and bending here and putting this to nine o'clock, I said I'm tired, I'm cutting this off real quick, I'm gonna go and lay down or whatever. May have you, man, I laid across my bed, like I always do. Man, when I tell you, when I tell you my, I woke up at 1130, 1145, something like that, and I got this bed. The same way, feet first hit the floor and I couldn't do nothing but sit. Oh, oh, I don't know if y'all seen that mean, when that old man was trying to Climb them craze, when they had that craze challenge back in the day, back in the day when they had a trick craze challenge a while back, and then miss it. Oh, when I came down, yeah, man, I felt just like oh, man, that back locked up, it's not today, you ain't doing nothing. Oh, they don't know, let on down until I tell you let you go. No, let them down, man, please. I was like pops in that truck on Friday Help me Please. Oh, somebody help me, help me, please, help me please, man. I got the my bad head to move up and when I got on my feet I was thankful that I wasn't paralyzed, because that's what was going through my mind then I I had to understand how to get up because I'm creeped over like this. I had to get up upright, bull, touching these walls and and popping and pulling it, man. So I'm thankful for I'm at now. So I'm telling young folks when you get a little older, you'll thank me. Watch out lifting all that heavy stuff. Think y'all mighty women and mighty men. Be cool soon. Be cool, man. I like I said this self self sabotage. How can you sabotage yourself out of good things, out of something great man? I know a guy Matter of fact, he's a family member that that sabotaged himself out of $100,000 paying job and and back then a hundred thousand dollars, a lot of money. Um, so what happened was they said, hey, you're hired, you got the job, you good, everything is great. Now, back in the day, they was doing drug tests because marijuana was still illegal. So you know he want to celebrate, he want to get drunk. You got to go to work the next day. You work on you, you, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're. Computer tech. You, you are Second man in charge of computer tech At a big firm not gonna say the name because they're not paying me, so I'm like he doesn't. Got lit up, twisted, drunk, high hole nine, feeling mighty good about himself late on down, woke up you already know. Next morning you still high, you still can't do nothing. You still really can't function because he wasn't like that. He got around some as people's and his people's poisoned his mind and you sabotage yourself like brah. You know what you have at stake. No one put a gun to your head to do none of that. So what you had to do is say, man, I ain't doing that, I got something else better, brother, I got something else around the corner that's gonna pay me a hundred thousand out. Well, you ain't got to tell him how much. But you, you know what's going on. But what happened? Went to work once the work high, went to work, lit up, messed up something. That's what they do. Here's a couple, my brother, go in that corner. P, I want to see what you got in you. Now, if it was a mistake that you made, just a human mistake. You got your job. But if you have your fight on the spot, guess what fight on the spot? $100,000 ago didn't even get a first check, first check. This is his first day. First and last day, never seen it quick. So To tell everybody, when y'all first getting these jobs and everything with the government, with the state and everything, marijuana is not, it's. It's, unless I'm wrong if I'm wrong, somebody hit me. I don't think it's legal, federal, I Think it's just statewide. So if you are on federal grounds and y'all getting a puffy, puffy, watch out, they might drop a p-test on you. Just be cool man. I'm just saying like, like, like, be careful With anything, with these jobs, with your life, with your career, everything. Just be careful. You know what it's? December this year has went by like that, like so, so, so, freaking fast. I'm looking at on a, I was looking on the internet and now we get I don't know what year's coming out in I think it's 2024, because I know it ain't coming out this year, because it's the almost over, like I'm saying. But we got another ax of holy coming. We got, we got. We got we got. We got Eddie Murphy coming out with with not bad boys, eddie Murphy coming out with what is the name of the God dog on thing Cop, very here's cop. There you go, I'm sitting here blank down. We got another barely here's cop coming. I Think it's gonna be awesome, thing Eddie Murphy looking kind of old. But hey, everyone you know he's, he should be looking that way. That's a good thing. I like that. I enjoy that. Now we got another bad boys coming, both of them kind of getting old. I'm liking it. That means that means that character, whatever they plan is, keep on going. You already know there's gonna be another, another fast and a furious 11, 12, 52, 99,. You know all I'm gonna be on walking canes playing Fast and furious, but anyway, but I am, I'm truly, truly ready to see those two, those two good movies. It's. I think it's gonna be some great things, some good, good things. Oh, that's another thing. We're gonna have a December, the second, which is my birthday. That's our lodge for our season two. I'm so excited about it, so happy about it. Like I said, we have our new store. Go check it out. Lounge market. It's WWW, that lounge market on Market online Com. Lounge market online Com. Once again, it's a mark lounge market on Line Dot-com. We got hats, socks, t-shirts, um, what what else? Mugs, water bottles, pens, magnet stickers, earbuds, mugs we got a little bit. Everything. Go support, check me out, tell me what you think of it, you know, hit me up on on Instagram. Or, or, if you see all my Facebook, or hit me. You can hit, even send me an email, let me know. Pl media dot mail dot com. That's PL media dot mail dot com. Or hit me on Instagram. That's In the lounge. So I'm sorry, that's in the underscore lounge. That's in underscore. The lounge. That's on IG. Um, hey, I'm everywhere. When you see me, show me some love, hit two fingers up, say what's cracking with you. Baby, I'm gonna be right there. You know I'm enjoying this thing. I'm enjoying this thing I'm. My dream is to see me walk around and see this logo a little bit everywhere. I'm not trying to get rich off of it, but I want to see this logo a little bit everywhere. If you see it, if you like it, let me know you like it. This is my logo. This is when you see this, you see me somewhere. So that means it's gonna be representing some great things we. This podcast for season two is talking about healing of the mind, healing of the body, healing of the soul, of the spirit. This is my cast, is also getting money in your pocket, is showing you things and also we're gonna have a sports channel I'm sorry, a sports segment on here. So I'm gonna do something that I've been wanting to do for the longest time To you with sports and his name. His name is Malcolm, so and a few you gonna see him on this on the segment. He's gonna introduce himself and he's gonna be doing some sports wrap-up isn't everything and he's gonna be a fixture in this thing. So we're gonna we're gonna make this podcast something wonderful, something great, something unique. We're gonna start having a call is calling in. We're just gonna have some great time, some good time on here. We're not gonna sit here and bash and hurt and hurt feelings or whatever, but we will be talking about some of the great subject that's going on. Like your boy, P Diddy, or love, or whoever you want to call him, he went from Sean combs to P Diddy, to love, to diddy, or however you want to call him. He. He's bad boy, that's you know he, you know, hey, he's who he is. Um, uh, like I told everybody. When he paid her, he opened the door for everybody else, you know. So, hopefully, hopefully he didn't do nothing else. You know that was scanless or whatever. May have you man, he can get away and lay low and play makes the more musical, whatever, um, hopefully, hopefully, 2024 we're hearing Kelly is Going to be free, or whatever. May have you, hopefully he has learned his lesson. Now, I'm not saying he did it, I'm not saying he didn't do it, I don't know, I wasn't there. But I am saying this you have to separate the man from the music, because he I don't care what you say if you don't like when our Kelly is singing, that means you have to stop listening to Celine Dion, casey and Jojo. Uh, let me see who else. Michael Jackson a lot of more of the people because he has his pin has graced a lot of Jay Z has graced a lot of other people's music, other people's CDs, other people's tracks, other people's there, you know, fortunate to have you girl, that's Maxwell. But guess what? Guess who wrote that? That's your boy, art Kelly. So part of R&B. But hey, you know, that's my opinion, that's my opinion and that's why I'm on this podcast with my opinion. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I don't know what you guys are doing for Christmas, but we will have a Christmas special and I'm gonna tell you on this Christmas special, often have my family with me, like my blood brother, my blood sister, my what's the name? You're gonna hear some real family family family family things that y'all gonna crack up, y'all gonna laugh cause man, my brother trail this much. I think something wrong with him. I think my mama dropped him on his head a little bit. But trust and believe y'all gonna have a good time when you tune into End the Lounge, stone and Be, and you're gonna learn something. We have a credit rebuild lady that is her name is Rokel. She is one of the best. If you we have an interview with her, she's dropping nuggets and jewels all the way through. You'll see her number, her phone number and everything on the screen. Check her out, love her. I'm just plugging in what's going on for season two. We got a new thumbnail. We have a new, a new. A new thumbnail is going on. A new theme song is coming on. We got great more equipment. Man, I'm excited. I'm truly honestly excited for season two. It's gonna be dropped every I think every Friday Please, please, please, pin it in. Let somebody know that. Hey End, the Lounge is on the air and trust me, ladies and gentlemen, if you have any other ideas or if you have any other comments, questions or anything, or if you want to be on the lounge and promote some of your things, hit us up PLMediamailcom. Plmediamailcom. Plmediamailcom. Also, also hit us on the Instagram in the lounge, in underscore the lounge. In underscore the lounge. Hit us up. Hit us up If you go on the store loungemarketonlinecom loungemarketonlinecom. This is a segment that you can email us on. Leave a phone number, leave somewhere we can reach you back. If you see me on Facebook, trust me, you can look up this face. Look up Jay Stone. Boom, I'm right there. Check me out. I will respond back to you. If you have any questions, comments or anything, we are here to help you get better. Love you. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. This year is almost to a close, but I'm thankful. I'm thankful for all that God has done and all that he's about to do. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I'm gonna soon out, tune out, I'm gonna close this out and call it a night, yeah, cause I gotta get up and do some more work. Ladies and gentlemen, if you see me in the street, blow your horn, doot, doot, throw up this peace sign. Don't forget, check me out, go to my store, check me out. I would love to see a t-shirt with my logo on it walking through the airport or something. Trust me, they are very comfortable and if you get a hoodie, watch your ladies cause they like stealing them. This year, boy Jace down peace music plays. Thanks for watching, guys.