85: Understanding and Embracing Our Emotions: A Divine Gift Not to be Suppressed

What if the emotions you've been told to suppress are actually a divine gift? I’m joined by Theresa Emanuel, founder of P31Virtues Christian Lifestyle Blog,  to challenge the cultural messages that have told us to hide our feelings. We're taking a stand, asserting that emotions are not a problem, but a gift meant to be acknowledged and savored.

 We delve into the often confusing space between thoughts and emotions, and provide helpful strategies to manage them effectively.

This episode promises you a fresh perspective on how to handle emotions, leaving you empowered to embrace your feelings in a healthier and more fulfilling way. Join us for a conversational journey to understanding and embracing the intricate fabric of our emotions.

Meet Theresa
Theresa Emanuel is an author, speaker, and creator of the P31Virtues Christian Lifestyle Blog and the Faith Food Fellowship podcast. She encourages Christian women to put their faith into action daily while nurturing themselves through biblical self-care. Then they can harness spiritual laws and exponentially increase their joy and good success. Through her podcast, Theresa exudes the love of God and brilliantly relates how her faith influences her multifaceted life. She simplifies the Christian experience from guilt-laden regulations to proactive life-enhancing action steps. Think of her as an inspired personal stylist for the heart because empowerment is supernatural, not superficial.

Email: Theresa@p31entrepreneur.com

Website: https://www.faithfoodfellowship.com

Gift:
The Roadmap to Calm offers:

a strategy that allows for prioritizing what is most important and actionable on any given day. 
a step-by-step process that will help you establish simple routines to keep calm in any situation.
an easy system to help you get things done even if it requires heroic measures.
AND
You will not only become more efficient but you will also enjoy a better quality of life!

Download the Roadmap to Calm now!

https://www.subscribepage.com/roadmaptocalm

Heart Doodling with Jesus is a monthly membership with live workshops and practical tools for growing spiritually and emotionally mature.

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Transcript

Embracing and Processing Emotions

Speaker 1 0:14

Welcome to today's episode of the Kingdom Mothers Rise Up podcast.

Speaker 2 0:19

And welcome to today's episode of Faith Food Fellowship.

Speaker 1 0:24

I'm so excited to have with me today Teresa Emanuel and, as you might have guessed, we're doing things a little bit different today. She's my guest and I'm her guest To introduce her. She's an author, a speaker, the creator of P31 Virtues Christian Lifestyle Blog and the Faith Food Fellowship podcast. She encourages Christian women to put their faith into action daily while nurturing themselves through biblical self-care. Then they can harness the spiritual laws and exponentially increase their joy and good success. Through her podcast, teresa exudes the love of God and brilliantly relates how her faith influences her multifaceted life. She simplifies the Christian experience, from guilt laden regulations to proactive life enhancing action steps. Think of her as an inspired personal stylist for the heart, because empowerment is supernatural, not superficial. Welcome, teresa, thank you.

Speaker 2 1:23

Mukov Johnson lives and loves in Alaska with her husband of 28 years and their children Three are grown and married the youngest is six and keeps her busy. She is a coach and mentor to Christian moms overcoming childhood emotional neglect. Mukov is the creator of Heart Doodling with Jesus, a simple, creative process to spend time with God and your emotions. Connect with Mukov through her website, mukovjohnsoncom. There's a free Heart Doodling with Jesus workshop for you when joining the mailing list. So glad to be with you, yeah.

Speaker 1 1:58

I'm so glad to be with you too. This is fun. So what we wanted to talk about today is that emotions are not a problem to be solved. Why do we think that emotions are a problem to be solved? I think there may be a list.

Speaker 2 2:18

I think in the United States women have been taught that they're too emotional and that they need to not show those emotions. So I think that is part of it. I think internally that sometimes emotions are scary and they can be a bit overwhelming, and so we don't necessarily want to deal with them.

Speaker 1 2:45

Yeah, and I think they're scary and overwhelming because we haven't been equipped to deal with them, because culture tells us that we're not supposed to. You know, big girls don't cry and you don't get mad, and all these things. So clearly they're just a problem. I think we often like so. Cultures telling us to don't show your emotions, that's a problem. And often our homes or even our churches reinforce that message, because we cry and we're told to stop crying or we're told that's not worth crying about or it's not worth getting upset about, and that kind of things. Families and even sometimes churches, reinforcing what culture is saying.

Speaker 2 3:35

Yeah, that's a good one. That's not worth crying about.

Speaker 1 3:38

Yes, that one is good. So if our emotions aren't actually a problem, what are we supposed to do with them? If they're not a problem to solve, we're not supposed to just fix this. What are we supposed to do with our emotions?

Speaker 2 3:55

So I think we definitely have to acknowledge them. Sometimes I think we have to enjoy them Like we would not experience the wonderful things that we experience if it were not for the juxtaposition of the less than wonderful.

Speaker 1 4:12

Yeah, I love that. I guess it's an older movie now, but inside out the five emotions and showed like no, when you shut one down, it doesn't work Like that. You can't just push out the ugly ones or the uncomfortable ones and keep the fun, happy ones. It doesn't work, they're a package deal.

Speaker 2 4:34

Exactly, exactly. They are definitely a package deal and they're a gift from Father God.

Speaker 1 4:43

He gave them to us.

Speaker 2 4:44

He's not surprised that we have these emotions.

Speaker 1 4:48

Yeah, and how do you help women see like they're a gift and it's a good gift?

Speaker 2 4:56

I tend to encourage women to go straight to Father God, especially if it's an emotion that they do not know how to deal with, and in that personal relationship with him, to say I'm feeling this and I don't know what to do, and then listen for the response or sit still long enough to process it and move forward from there.

Speaker 1 5:27

Yeah, I've learned to do that with my heart doodling. That's a way to help me sit longer and to sit with it and to sort out okay, this is what I'm feeling. Here's the thoughts that are going with that, and for a long time I would just try to process my emotions instead of actually feeling them experiencing them.

Speaker 1 5:52

Right, like we process thoughts and evaluate, like oh, this is true, that's not true, and that's where it came from and go through this process of thoughts. But I would try and do the same thing with my emotions and that doesn't work. Right, the emotions need to be felt so that they can deliver their message and move on. Yes, learning to sit with the father in the emotion of like okay, I'm just super sad right now and looking for an emotional response from him instead of just a head response of well, here's the truth. He does give me the truth, but he also sits with me and lets me cry. He has emotions, he gave us emotions. So I don't know. It's just crazy to me that the church has taught for so long to like shut your emotions out of your faith, except for, maybe, joy. Joy is an okay emotion as long as you're not like too expressive in certain circles, you know.

Speaker 1 7:01

but it's just crazy because like he talks about singing and dancing over us, like that's fairly excited, you know.

Speaker 2 7:10

Absolutely yes, and the Psalms have every emotion in the book of Psalms. It's another resource that we can go to.

Speaker 1 7:22

Yes, and it's a great example.

Speaker 2 7:26

Handle our emotions or process them.

Speaker 1 7:30

How do you help women that are kind of like I don't even know what I'm feeling like. I'm still stuck in that place of just not pretty sure emotions are a problem.

Speaker 2 7:41

I think I would want to know more about where they feel stuck or what being stuck is preventing them from doing, and I guess I also want to know the self talk going on in their head, and it could be some repeated loop, so I'd want to know more about that.

Speaker 1 8:05

I love that. That's a sign of a good coach or mentor. Like, I need to know more. I can't just give you an answer based on that statement. But that's so good and I love that, because so often at church we're just given no, here's the formula, here's the step, here's the whatever. And if you don't get that background information, like you were just talking about, like is this on a constant loop? Is this this particular situation? Is that you know, like, without getting that you don't actually know what they need, and so often it's just oh, that's your problem, here's the answer. And often it just makes the problem worse because it's like no, it actually wasn't.

Speaker 2 8:55

And I think just feeling heard can make a big difference.

Understanding and Managing Emotions

Speaker 1 9:04

Yeah, being heard and not judged. Mm-hmm Just okay, I hear that's how you're feeling and makes sense. That that's how you're feeling in the situation is huge.

Speaker 2 9:19

Right, right, I guess. What are your recommendations to women in those situations?

Speaker 1 9:26

Well, I guess, if they're in a place of like no, I'm pretty sure emotions are a problem, they're a problem. They're look at all these problems are causing me a lot like you is to dig into like okay, where did that thinking come from and what are your thoughts around this? But, to start with, if God created you with emotions and he only gave good gifts like he doesn't have bad stuff to give, so he gave good gifts then you have to start learning to receive, and that can mean receiving the anger or the sadness or the frustration, and accepting that it has a message for you, it has information for you. So the sooner you receive it, the sooner it'll move on. Kind of like when you're, when your child has something they want to show you and it's just mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom. Until you're like what I see you, like, your emotions are kind of the same. So when you stop and you're like okay, I see you, what did you want to show me? They're like this, okay, and then they're off again.

Speaker 2 10:34

I love that analogy and I love when you say God only gives good gifts. That's a beautiful, beautiful reminder.

Speaker 1 10:43

On your blog you talk about biblical self care, and how does that connect to not seeing your emotions as a problem?

Speaker 2 10:52

So there is mental and emotional self care, and part of taking care of your entire being is addressing or nurturing both your mental health and your emotional health, and, I would say, doing that through the word. We're supposed to have the mind of Christ and then the tools that God gives us in the word that talks about our emotions, that talks about how we should think. Those are all parts of mental and emotional self care, and I grouped them together about. One thing that you say is very important is to separate your thoughts and emotions. So I'd love to hear you talk about that a little bit more.

Speaker 1 13:03

Emotions are. They're like one of your senses. Like you see, you feel, you know if something's hot, you jerk away, and your emotions are like one of those senses. They're giving you information and they're often involuntary, like something happens and you feel something, so you're feeling it for a reason. The reasons that you're telling yourself in the story you make up in your head may or may not be accurate. So that's why it's important to sort out like acknowledge, okay, I'm feeling offended, but now let's look at the facts and the thoughts and all of this to see whether I actually have a reason to be offended and there's something to deal with in this relationship, or if it's me being triggered by something else entirely or I was misunderstanding or whatever. So it's not saying that like, whatever you feel is accurate and run with it, but it is there for a reason and so it might be pointing to something else besides what you initially think it is.

Speaker 1 14:16

And then scripture tells us to take every thought captive. But if we lump them together and we take every emotion captive, we end up stuffing Like we're just I'm capturing you and you're stuck in here. And if you do like, if you want to take your emotion captive, I guess like to listen to it. Like why do you capture prisoners to get information? We're taking our thoughts captive to get information. Like what are you trying to tell me?

Speaker 1 14:48

And then what it's telling you is going to like look at those thoughts and those possibly lies you're believing, or like good emotions too. They just seem so much easier to handle. The pleasant emotions of like oh well, I can easily see why I'm excited or whatever. But digging into like why am I frustrated or why am I grieving? Or those things of like OK, I've got you here, now what are you trying to tell me?

Speaker 1 15:22

And then the thoughts, like we take them captive and if they don't agree with God, we cast them down. But emotions don't agree or disagree because they're not the thoughts that go with them. And I think too many times in religious circles it is kind of like if you feel doubt or feel worry or feel fear, like just cast it out. I'm like, no, you need to deal with the thoughts that go with them, but the emotion just comes. Like you didn't choose. I mean, you can choose to wallow and whatever, but like for the most part, the emotion just comes. You didn't choose it, so get the information from it and then decide Am I letting you stick around or is it time for you to go?

Speaker 2 16:06

Yeah, I like that.

Speaker 1 16:08

So on your blog and your podcast, do you dive more into like how to use the specific tools?

Speaker 2 16:13

that you teach. I have a resource Retreat in the Psalms where I do go into journaling the Psalms to look at what is the emotion that's going on in the Psalm and how are you relating to that, and to journal that out.

Speaker 1 16:32

Yes, yeah, that sounds like a great resource for somebody who might still be thinking that emotions are a problem, because, yeah, david experienced everything and he wasn't afraid to bring it to the Lord. Yes, exactly, and the Lord never sent him away for it or anything. So, yeah, good to see like, oh, yeah, I can relate to that emotion. Yeah the anger and the despair and the celebrating all of it.

Speaker 2 17:05

Mm-hmm and feeling like you've been abandoned, but you haven't.

Speaker 1 17:12

You have a gift for the podcast listeners called the Roadmap to Calm, so tell us about that.

Speaker 2 17:18

So the roadmap to calm is a systematic way to approach God and the gifts that he's given you, no matter what the situation is.

Speaker 1 17:38

So it's a systematic way to approach the Lord and is that like a journaling devotional kind of thing?

Speaker 2 17:45

So it is more, a little bit more of a process. So the first step is it's four steps to abide, affirm, ask and then act. So if you're abiding with Father God, then you know what is good, what he wants for you, what your plan should be. But then you need to affirm it with the word and then you can ask Him for whatever you feel that you don't have in order to take the next step, or ask Him that question, ask Him whatever, and then take action. Because once you have gone through all these steps like you have to do your part, like God's not going to do everything it's a partnership so then you take the action. So that's the process for the roadmap, but it's applicable across everything.

Speaker 1 19:01

Yeah, but that would be a good way to start practicing that. If they are in a place where it wants to be more intentional or just like the seasons changed, I need something different for getting in that time with the Lord and being intentional and like carrying it beyond quiet time, like I think you mentioned that in your IOT Absolutely. It's not just in this little window.

Speaker 2 19:34

Right Abiding. So think about when you live with someone you're abiding, dwelling and even just the common courtesies good morning, lord, you know, and maybe like a check-in at midday, and then good night, you know. Just, it's your whole, you know, life. Invite him into everything I do think and that it can be tempting to allow God into this section of your life. But then I got this. You know, this isn't a big deal. You know why. I don't need God in this area. I can handle this. But now invite him into all of it, you know yeah, definitely.

Speaker 2 20:19

So you have other resources beyond your doodling, which sounds really wonderful that you use to help women.

Recognizing and Managing Thoughts and Emotions

Speaker 1 20:30

Right now they can go to macovejohnsoncom and get a free heart doodling with Jesus Workshop, which walks them through a little bit more about like what emotions are, but it also introduces them to like what the heck am I talking about? About heart doodling, which is just simple drawing and painting, but it's creating that space to sit with the Lord and to sit with your emotion and let it be heard. And then, if they're impacted by that, there's a membership where I do a new workshop each month that they can attend live or just watch the recordings and redo them as many times as they need to, because I frequently do the same doodles over and over again, whether it's because I'm processing through something like grief or some transition, or whether it's. This is what the Lord is saying to me. He's saying that I am His beloved. So what does that look like, what does that feel like and using it as a way of meditating on this is the truth that the Lord is speaking. Let's get it deeper in my heart. Let's help me believe it a little bit more.

Speaker 2 21:53

That's beautiful. I like that. Any closing thoughts? Do you have, I guess, any recommendations on telling your emotions that they're not in charge?

Speaker 1 22:04

So your emotions don't get to be in charge. That's what my workshop is actually it's. Emotions don't drive, but they do get a seat in the car. So the way to not let them drive, ironically, is to listen to them. We think, if we stuck them in the trunk or leave them on the side of the road, that we're not listening to them. But God didn't make us that way, so they're actually driving much more than we think they are if we're stuffing them and ignoring them. So the way to get them out of the driver's seat is to listen to them and give them like they get to ride shotgun. They have information for you, and beginning to listen Like it's a long journey.

Speaker 1 22:49

I've been working on this for a long time after being told that you know that's no reason to cry and you shouldn't be upset and just look at the good side and all of that stuff. It takes practice and growing and self-awareness. A good community is super helpful. To just be able to be like this is what I'm feeling today. I know it's not who I am, or maybe I need you to remind me it's not who I am, but it is what I'm feeling. And separating out your thoughts from your emotions too, because if you're recognizing the things you're thinking that don't align with the Lord, like yes, he's given you the authority and the tools to deal with that and you need to deal with that in order to change how you're feeling. On some of those deep-seated like I'm not worthy, I'm not good enough type things.

Speaker 2 23:46

Yeah, I think that is a very good summation. Your workshop title Emotions don't get to drive, but they get a seat in the car.

Speaker 1 23:56

Because, yeah, what's not okay? To be emotional and just do whatever you're feeling like doing. And that's where being submitted to Christ comes in. You know, yes, this is what I'm feeling, but I'm holding that all before the Lord and saying, now, what do I do? Yes, as a mom, often that stuff is, or was more when my older kids were younger. You know, 20 years ago, that like I see the reaction coming out before I realized like, oh, I'm feeling stuff that's not about right now. So learning to recognize that, so you can deal with those things outside of those moments with your kids Right Then helps you show up as the mom that you want to be, even when they're not showing up like you would like them to.

Speaker 2 24:50

Yes, thank you so much.

Speaker 1 24:53

Yeah, thank you Teresa. It was a fun conversation. Absolutely See you in the next episode.