Have you ever felt like sharing your story is only valid once you've conquered your demons? I've been there. This week on the podcast, we're tearing down the facade that we must be 'fixed' before we can contribute anything of value. With vulnerability as my compass, I navigate the raw, unpolished terrain of personal narratives that are still unfolding, and discuss why these tales in transit are just as vital as those with a polished end. Embracing the messiness of the middle, I reveal how gradual steps in the dark often lead to profound growth and why it's crucial to cherish the journey as much as the destination.
The episode then shifts to a seemingly simple yet powerful tool for clarity—doodling. Sharing my own moment of mental fog lifting as I imagined sketching my thoughts, I invite you to discover how this act can anchor us in purpose and faith, serving as a beacon through life's storms. We're not all artists.
Join me as we explore the beauty of grounding ourselves in purpose and the unexpected shifts in perspective that can emerge from the taking up a pen and listening for the Lord.
Discipling mothers to disciple generations
Encouragement and practical steps to improve your relationship with yourself, God, and your child.
Have you ever felt like sharing your story is only valid once you've conquered your demons? I've been there. This week on the podcast, we're tearing down the facade that we must be 'fixed' before we can contribute anything of value. With vulnerability as my compass, I navigate the raw, unpolished terrain of personal narratives that are still unfolding, and discuss why these tales in transit are just as vital as those with a polished end. Embracing the messiness of the middle, I reveal how gradual steps in the dark often lead to profound growth and why it's crucial to cherish the journey as much as the destination.
The episode then shifts to a seemingly simple yet powerful tool for clarity—doodling. Sharing my own moment of mental fog lifting as I imagined sketching my thoughts, I invite you to discover how this act can anchor us in purpose and faith, serving as a beacon through life's storms. We're not all artists.
Join me as we explore the beauty of grounding ourselves in purpose and the unexpected shifts in perspective that can emerge from the taking up a pen and listening for the Lord.
Discipling mothers to disciple generations
Encouragement and practical steps to improve your relationship with yourself, God, and your child.
And I just had this feeling again of like I don't have anything to say or I know there's stuff you want me to say but I don't feel adequate to say I don't feel like it's going to come out good, I don't feel like it matches up with where I'm at which. As I sat with it, I'm like that's all ridiculous. So I was like OK, do it. Cause I thought, well, maybe like it's another week where I need to just like show my process. And then I recognized this voice of accusation and discouragement coming back of well, you can't, you can't do that. You need to show up from a healed place and from a like have it all figured out place, like you can talk about the journey and the struggle after you've gotten to this certain place of I don't know maturity or being healed or whatever. Why am I listening to that? Because I don't believe that Like that's not how I led before and that's part of what kept me stuck for so many years was only people sharing from like their healed place or their, you know sharing from the other side and like so then their testimony is you know, I went to this conference, or I read this book, or I said this prayer and it changed everything. And now, here I am on the other side, and that was so discouraging and so frustrating to me because, like, I've read the books, I've gone to the conferences, I've said the prayers, I've done all this stuff and I am not on the other side yet. Not on the other side yet. So it must just be me, because I'm missing the boat for this magical have, this moment and get to the other side. I recognize now that either they're too far removed from their story to share what that process looked like, even from that moment that like, okay, I can look back and see that from that moment something significant changed and then I was able to live differently. Until now. I feel like I'm on the other side and there are some stories of God like just miraculously changing, rewiring people's brains, and everything is different from that point. But most of the testimonies that were being shared were not actually that, they just sounded like that, and so I would get so frustrated and probably like really re-injured in a way that I am doing all the things and I'm not on the other side. And why isn't God giving me this moment that just changes everything? Why is it so hard for me as I was sitting down this morning. I'm like well, do I share what I prepared yesterday? Or yeah, like, just like, do I share what I prepared yesterday? And like I didn't even fully get the question out and he just like I could feel his presence he's like share the process. And so that's.
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I recognize that voice of like no, you can't share the process. You have to share the process from the other side, not when you're in the middle of the process. And so that just like almost made me weep because I'm like no, I'm sharing the process in the process, because that's what I needed. And do I wish I was still not in the process? Yes, will I ever not be in the process? No, because he also reminded me I get to live things differently and go through things and experience things so that I have a very clear understanding of what it feels like to be there and what help is needed to get out of there. And it's not being told to.
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You know, do this one thing that changes everything. Yeah, I'm supposed to share the process and I'm not a bad leader or weak to share that I'm struggling or that I'm still in process, because I'm not going to come on and just like, vomit my troubles on you and walk away and leave you holding this like, oh, this person I looked up to is such a mess, and like there's no hope for me. No, the process is going from. Here's where I'm struggling and here's how I'm back to focusing on what God says is true and what he's doing, and you know why things are the way they are. I'm not a leader trying to show up as I have it all together, do what I do. I'm walking this journey ahead of you, and here's the things that the Lord is showing me Just in the sitting down to write. When I keep it in my head.
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Sometimes I hear him clearly like that and I know what he's saying, but often it takes the putting pen to paper to slow my brain down enough to actually listen instead of just keep rambling and throwing questions at him Because we can't write near as fast as we think. So it just slows the whole process down. So even just that, and maybe that's all I need to share today. Like, is everything fixed? Is everything better? No, but I have his perspective now instead of mine.
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My perspective this morning was I'm not really sure what to share. I am struggling with my old programming. The spirit that's against me, whatever it is that is telling me I shouldn't really bother to show up. I sit down and write a few sentences and it slows me down enough for his voice to come flooding that I bring to you you're not talking from some theoretical standpoint. You're talking from lived experience of this. Is what it looks like, and at times I still struggle because I want it to look different.
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But the reality is it looks like sitting down and writing out what I'm thinking to be able to hear what he's thinking. And let him remind me that you do get to live through this. You are going to lead differently, because you needed to be led differently. You need to be taught differently. You needed to see the tiny little steps along the way, because what seemed like normal steps for other people were huge steps for me. The hope and the encouragement and like excitement that that brings of like right, I'm doing exactly what God wants me to be doing, and am I going to need to do it again later today? Maybe Because we're in a super intense season right now, like the world is trying to turn itself inside out and we need to get ourselves solid in who we are and what God is saying to us, so that we can step out and turn it for the kingdom and bring hope and healing to all of these hurting, hurting people.
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When I remember that I'm doing this for his purpose and it's going to bring him glory and it's going to serve other people, then I was like, okay, I'm going to learn my lesson. I learned my lesson and I get to move on to a new lesson and I can look at the lessons and the struggles with joy. Truly, when I look at it from His perspective of like see, this is the blessing that's going to come through this. I also debated on like okay, so does that mean like I need to get set up so that I can do some doodling on this, and would there be benefit from me doodling through some of this? Yeah, and I'll probably do that, but that felt hard. This morning I was willing to do it anyway, but as I sat and journaled, I didn't need to. I just needed to write those few sentences to be reminded. I think maybe that's why David wrote so many psalms and songs, because it's like soul. I need you to remember this. I need you to remember this is who God is. And this is who God is and this is what he's done for us and this is what his promises are.
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Slow down enough to hear him Realizing you're in the storm for a reason is the trick. Yes, I'm in the storm for a reason and it's a good reason. He's been telling me for a long time. He's been telling me for a long time, but since a conference I went to a couple weeks ago, he's been telling me get out those words and those pictures and those things I've spoke to you in the past. You need them.
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I've been looking not probably quite as much as I could, but I have been looking for them and he's been bringing them to mind Like the like you get to live this first. You don't get to teach anything. You haven't lived the storm. Like part of him saying that I'm a lighthouse. Lighthouses are built for storms. They're built for really bad weather. That's what they're for weather. That's what they're for. And that's when they shine the brightest To keep your eyes above the storm. And you know words and teachings about how eagles fly into a storm and they use the force of the storm to actually lift them above it. And he's been talking to me a lot about eagles lately too, so just want to slow down to be encouraged. I think that's probably one of the reasons that the enemy likes to keep us so busy is it's hard to be encouraged when you're busy Because God's like. No, slow down, be still. Remember who I am and what I'm doing. No-transcript that I need to do and I feel like I need to make happen.
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I'm not sure how to know how to describe this.
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That's where I feel like the doodling is so helpful, like if I were to do a doodle of how I felt waking up this morning.
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There was, like I don't know, like clouds rushing around in my head, like interfering with my thoughts, and just like my head in a fog too, and just like what.
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And then feeling heavy, like the cloud that was keeping me from seeing, but a cloud that was heavy too. And then, as I sit and let the Lord encourage me and remind me, I feel like that lighthouse standing shining bright, being like whatever, whatever you've got, throw it at me, I'm good, I'm on the rock, I'm where I'm supposed to be. I'm created for His purpose. I'm on the rock, I'm where I'm supposed to be. I'm created for his purpose and he's responsible for the outcome, so let's go in just a few minutes. It takes a lot longer to explain than it took to happen. If you have questions about that of like I sit down and write and that doesn't happen, or anything, just I wanted to make sure that I'm being relevant and that I'm not ever getting to that disconnected place of like I'm on the other side now and you know people listening to me feeling like I felt listening to others in the past. Thanks for watching and I'll see you next time.