How Can We Learn How to Rest? Chatting with Mindfulness CBT Expert Mita Mistry

In this episode I was joined by the lovely Mita Mistry. Mita is an Author, Columnist & Literary Editor, a Mindfulness CBT expert, Acupuncturist,  Speaker, and  Author of 2  books:  How to Understand and Deal with Social Anxiety: &  All You Need Is Rest.
Mita chats with me about mindfulness and her discovery of it at a young age,  social anxiety - what it is and how we can understand ourselves as well as her own self-care practice as well as LOTS of great tips!

Grab yourself a cuppa and join us
Love
Liz x

You can contact Mita by the following:
Instagram:  @itsmitamistry
Website:  https://www.mitamistry.co.uk/
Links to Mita's column's, magazine articles, podcast appearances, book links and lots more! ........  https://linktr.ee/mitamistry

You can contact me at the usual details:
Email:  spirituallyspeaking222@gmail.com
Instagram: spiritually_speaking_222
Facebook:  spirituallyspeaking222
Youtube: LizzyHill222

Transcript

Liz Hill: 0:04

hi, this is Liz and welcome to my podcast, spiritually Speaking with Liz. We've got a fabulous guest with us today, but I'm just gonna remind you to follow us on the YouTube channel. Click the notification bell and the likes, and also on your podcast app if you follow then you'll get notifications when I upload anything new. Okay, today we've got a wonderful guest. We've got the Fabulous Mita Mistry, so Mita practices, mindfulness based cognitive therapy and acupuncture. She's an author and newspaper columnist, a speaker, and Mita has written two books. This is how I've become aware of her how to understand and deal with social anxiety, and all you need is rest. Mita welcome. Thank you so much for joining me.

Mita Mistry: 0:51

Thank you for inviting me, Liz. Um, it's a real honor to be here, so thank you for that lovely introduction.

Liz Hill: 0:57

You're welcome. I'm gonna jump straight in on the mindfulness. So I know you started it very young. You were 13, I believe

Mita Mistry: 1:06

That's right.

Liz Hill: 1:06

Yeah. Yeah. So what was it that that brought it to you and what was happening to you at the time, and how did it help you?

Mita Mistry: 1:16

So my, I was actually quite socially anxious as a child. Um, I'd been through quite a bit of trauma in terms of bullying and just sort of growing up around violence. Not in the home, but just in the area where I lived. Um, so I, I, I've had a sort of some traumatic experiences sort of growing up and I think, uh, the bullying and a bit of racism that I faced as well, um, resulted in me. Being quite socially anxious and, um, I always felt that I, I wanted to find some peace or just escape or the turmoil. It just felt very chaotic. Um, the world around me. Um, and my dad was the, you know, really into meditation. So he took me along to a meditation class. He was actually with a spiritual teacher from India. So, I really loved it, so I went with an open mind. I didn't think anything of it, but actually it was the first time, I think probably as far as I can remember as a 13 year old, that I actually felt very peaceful and I felt calm and I thought, oh wow. Oh, this is really good. Um, I'm gonna try this again. And, and every time I tried it, I just felt so good and, and it was a place I could retreat to within myself. Even though the world around me might be chaotic and there's so much going on and things you can't control, I was still able to find, uh, something that was the calming for me. So that's how I really got into is through, through my dad. And it was a spiritual teacher in India, um, who was the teacher. So his name Swami, uh, Swami Vi, uh, Swami, oh gosh, he passed away last year. Swami, um, Swami. And so he passed away last year or the year before. So he lived, he lived in a, an ash from, in a place called Ika in India. So he'd visit every year. Mm-hmm. So I didn't see him every year, but we tried to see him as often as we could every time he visited, because I did really enjoy. Being in his company and just taking on his wisdom and listening and yeah. So,

Liz Hill: 3:27

oh, that's lovely they, they have such an amazing presence, don't they?

Mita Mistry: 3:31

Oh yeah, absolutely. You just feel just being in their presence, you feel calm. Mm-hmm. They just obviously embody that mindfulness, that wisdom, that genuine sort of compassion that. You suddenly, uh, feel, oh yeah, this is really peaceful. I like this. It feels

Liz Hill: 3:50

good. Yeah. Yeah. Then it's just taking it out into the world then, isn't it? Taking it into daily life and, yeah. Which you've obviously done, so it obviously made such a big impact that then you wanted to train in it further to help people further. Mm-hmm. So how does it work with the, with the cognitive, um, therapy? How do the two come together? So

Mita Mistry: 4:11

I, I retrained to be an acupuncturist about 20 years ago. And what I was finding with the acupuncture, which is again, energy medicine and it works on mind, body, and emotional level, uh, what I was finding was a lot of my patients were having mental health issues as well, and I wanted to do more for them, which I mean, acupuncture's still great by anxiety, depression, and all of those things, and regulating your hormones and brain chemistry. But I felt that. I could offer some think more. And this is where I started to look into sort of mindfulness based interventions and I found a course on mindfulness based cognitive therapy. So I, I went on that. So it was a further sort of two years training that I did. Um, and that sort of allowed me to use my experience of mindfulness, but combine it with the sort of the C B T psychological aspect as well. And that's really been helpful as well for people. It's been really, really quite transformative.

Liz Hill: 5:13

So I think the two that you're doing are quite powerful cuz I, I'm a, a great advocate of acupuncture.

5:20

Yeah.

Mita Mistry: 5:20

Do you, have you had

5:21

it?

Liz Hill: 5:22

Yeah, I have it Reg for, unfortunately my practitioner retired. She was, God. Yeah. She retired a couple of years ago, but I've just found somebody I've just booked in and I'm going again next month. But I know it makes such a difference. It really does to me. Yeah. I think when you're aware of your energy, well, whether you're aware or not, but I personally am very aware of my energy, so I I can, I know that's just that final little tweak I need that just keeps me, yeah. Yeah.

Mita Mistry: 5:49

Yeah. And I find that with all of my patients and even myself, you know, when you need a treatment and even if you're not aware of your energy, um, you soon become quite fine tuned into it as well. I find that within sort of three or four treatments, people are like, oh yes, you know, I, I, I notice the difference or I notice this sensation and you know, I need to do something different. So it does make people more, um, self-aware of what's going on in their body cuz often we. Oh, you know, on the go, we're so busy that we don't always listen to the messages that our bodies are giving us all the, the wisdom or all the signals, and we just carry on and then end up, um, sometimes doing more harm than good.

Liz Hill: 6:32

Yeah, I think we get stuck in a cycle of busy, don't we do? It's just we do busy. I'm busy. I'm busy. I'm too busy, too. I'm too busy too. And yeah. And yeah, people, people don't, you know, I've got a headache, I'll take tablets. They don't look at, well, why have I got a headache? You know? Maybe it's the tension in my neck because I'm stressed about, or people don't seem to, a lot of people don't seem to listen. To their bodies and I'm a great believer in, in the mind body connection. Yeah. Um, and I think a lot of illnesses, not all of course, but a lot of illnesses do come from the mind do come from stress or how we've been holding ourselves or emotions that we've been holding in, don't they?

Mita Mistry: 7:16

Yeah, absolutely. There is a real strong body of evidence out there that, you know, the mind body. And your sort of psychology, they're all, um, connected. And I dunno if you've come across Basal VanderPol who's written a book called The Body Keeps the Score, and it's all about how our body stores information, uh, of, um, you know, about our past experiences in terms of the traumas that we've been through. And, you know, they, they get, you know it, here's, we don't sort of. Heal or process those emotions or those memories they get stored in our body. And then they can manifest as all kinds of, um, things like mental health conditions, a D H D, uh, just all kinds of things, physical ail elements as well. So yeah, I strongly believe that there is always a root cause of, of a problem. And I think, and it's not anybody's fault, I just think it's the way our world is, everything's about instantaneous or quick fixes. So, you know, that's what we've been conditioned to, um, buy into now. Um, you know, from society, media or the rest of it. And that's what people want because they haven't got time. They just want a quick fix. But going to the root of issues is a lot, takes a lot more effort and it takes longer to see the results as well. But then when you do get them, they are a lot better in terms of the, their, in terms of the, the longevity, but also, um, minimizing the sort of side effects as well and going with the sort of natural order of things.

Liz Hill: 8:56

Yeah. And the freedom they create. I think when you get to the root of something, the, the freedom crea, it creates not only in your mind, but also in your body.

Mita Mistry: 9:05

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I think it, it is important. And that's one thing that, that I do do a lot of in my acupuncture work is, um, I work on a five element system. Mm-hmm. And so that's all about addressing the root cause of a person's, uh, imbalances. Um, and. It's just brilliant because it really does, um, give some wonderful results for people as well, not just physically in terms of pain or things like that, but also in terms of where they're going, their vision, their purpose, and what they wanna achieve. And it's, it's really fascinating that just, uh, Yeah. It's just, it blows my mind sometimes.

Liz Hill: 9:50

It, yeah, it is. I did, uh, work with a, a five element acupuncturist for a while. Oh, brilliant. And, you know, I worked in the same clinic. It was his clinic and I worked alongside him and yeah, he, he was incredible. Mm-hmm. The, the results he got and yeah. It, it's just, Outta this world. Yeah. Okay. So back over onto your first book, the Social Anxiety. So can you give us like a brief description of what, what is social anxiety? Okay. So social

Mita Mistry: 10:22

anxiety is the, the overwhelming sort of fear of being judged or coming across not what so well, or, or being criticized or humiliated or embarrassed. In a social situation, particularly sort of in front of a group of people. So it could be, um, you know, we all get nervous when we've got to do some public speaking or stand up and talk in front of a group. That's quite normal. But when you are, when it's sort of taking over and you start to avoid those situations, so you, you, you, you know, you, you'll make all the excuses in the world. So you've been given a wonderful opportunity to do a presentation. It's gonna be great for your career. But you'll find your phone in sick, or you'll find excuses to avoid it. And then what it starts to do is it really starts to hold back and your progression in life. So it may be that you start avoiding social situations, talking to people, and then what that can result in is isolation, which we know isn't good for anybody's mental health because as humans we are hardwired to connect with one another to survive. So it can have a lot of, um, Sort of knock on effect on your mental wellbeing, but as well, as well as your sort of, um, your growth and your fulfillment

Liz Hill: 11:42

in life as well. And it seems to be becoming more and more, I think it, it, it, or whether we're just more aware of it and we talk about it, I don't know. Yeah. But they. I think the, the lockdowns certainly didn't help. Did there a lot of people, people that were living on their own, people that were maybe in fam, you know, even a family group, you can still feel isolated with people in your home, can't you? So it, it was, um, I, I, well I think that's sort of seems to have heightened it. Would you agree or do, is it just the same as it always has been?

Mita Mistry: 12:16

Yeah, it's definitely heightened. It, the pandemic has made it worse. Um, I mean, social anxiety is one of those. Anxiety disorders that often doesn't get mentioned, but it's actually the third largest, uh, sort of an anxiety disorder and it is on the rise. And indeed the lockdown has had an impact because if you think about it, we were told to almost two years, maybe longer, to stay away from one another to socially distance and imagine what impact that's having on people's fear and anxiety. So, You know, all of a sudden, you know, the lockdowns over and you're having to socialize again. A we haven't had that practice for a long time. But also it's, it's the impact it's had on your, your, your mind. You know, a lot of people are still, and I still see patients who are still a afraid of getting too close to people. They're still in their head socially distancing. Mm-hmm. So the pandemic, we know is a form of trauma as well on society because it's changed the way we live, the way we work. Although things are seemingly back to normal, they're not really what they were. It's, it's, the world isn't the same place as it was. No.

Liz Hill: 13:31

This, this seems to be more, um, overwhelm. There seems to be, um, like a, a deep rooted anger. Yeah. And so for, for people that suffer with overwhelm, what, what would you say that, what is overwhelm? Why, why do we have this feeling of overwhelm? What, what creates it within us?

Mita Mistry: 13:54

So overwhelm really, it can start from your thoughts or your beliefs about yourself or the world, um, or, or a situation even. And it's these, so we, we all have negative thoughts. And you know, we are on autopilot 46.9% of the time, and our brain is designed to solve problems and protect us. But when it becomes hardwired like that and it's constantly only sort of picking up the negativity or the negative thought, what that does is, um, it can have an impact on your stress response. So then you start to feel that heart racing your palm sweaty. You start to feel overwhelmed, start to get muy headed. It has an impact on the way the different parts of your brain function. So we have what we call the logical part of our brain, which is at the front of our brain that shuts down when your stress response is activated. So you can't think straight. So you know it, it's not a nice, it's not a pleasant feeling. It's not something that is, you know, going to necessarily harm you physically as in like really badly, but it's just really unpleasant and it can stop you. From living life Well, and it's horrible when you're living in that dark place in your head and you can't see any hope. But actually it, it is easy to, well, it's not easy, but it is possible to break that cycle. It's just acknowledging, you know what, I'm really struggling with this. I'm really overwhelmed. I can't stop thinking, you know, when those thoughts are churning over and over. Um, and it's just catching them and, and stopping them in their tracks.

Liz Hill: 15:35

I, I think that's the key, isn't it? It's that presence. We all hear that we need to be present, but if you are present to your thoughts, present to what you are actually telling yourself, the, because there's a constant narrative isn't there going on? Sometimes you listen to it, sometimes you don't. Like you say it's just, it's just babbling on in the background. Yeah. But it, it is just being aware of what you are actually telling yourself and how you are speaking to yourself.

Mita Mistry: 15:58

Yeah, absolutely. And, and finding ways that work for you. To switch off that, you know, capture those negative thoughts and, and switch it off and, and do something different. So there's loads of techniques to do that, but it, you know, one size doesn't fit all. What works for one person may not work for somebody else, so it's okay. So exploring that and finding what works for you

Liz Hill: 16:23

as well. Can you give us a couple of examples?

Mita Mistry: 16:26

Yeah. So for example, for some people they find, um, say for example, let's say you are going to. Bed at night, and you've got all these intrusive thoughts about an upcoming meeting or something that you're dreading and you just can't stop thinking about it. Some people find listening to a calming podcast is helpful or an audio book because if you think about it, it's like being, uh, read a bedtime story. If you've got a soothing voice talking to you, it can interrupt those intrusive thoughts and then it it, that can sort of help you to sleep. There's other sort of, uh, techniques like grounding techniques as well. So if you're feeling very, if you're out and about and you're feeling very panicky, uh, there's breathing techniques you can do. So where you breathe in for a count of four, hold for a count of seven, and then breathe out for a count of eight. Or you can do like a, a hand breathing meditation, which I find is really helpful for young people. It is, you know, sort of in schools when I do work with them, it's something they find easy to do, so you can trace your hand. So if you breathe in as you trace up, and then breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. Obviously slower than that, that's actually even doing that, once I find that it's so calming and you can do it discreetly under a table or.

Liz Hill: 17:45

Just watching. It was really calming. Yeah, it's, it's just, it's really, I

Mita Mistry: 17:48

love that one. Yeah. It's really nice. Yeah, I love that one. It's really, really calming and, and, and little young children find that one calming as well. And also it's that touch that we get as well. Even, you know, and I know you're only touching your own fingers, but touch does help to release, um, the bonding, the, and the love hormone, oxytocin. So, you know, that's the other thing. If you've got a pet, give your pet a stroke or give someone a hug. Or get a hug from somebody. All of those things can help. There's loads of things out there you can do.

Liz Hill: 18:21

Well, that takes me onto your latest book that came out this year, which is called, all You Need is Rest. I haven't got it in. In the flesh, but I think you've got a copy, haven't you? But I have got it on my Kindle. Oh, okay. Cause I took that. We've just been away last week and I took that with me. Mm-hmm. Right. And yeah. And you know, I absolutely love that because it's so many, um, tips. They're all well collated into, into the chapters, but there's so many tips. Um, Simple things, really simple things that people forget about and know, and it's just reminding you of that toolbox, isn't it? That it is. And it's, you know, I, I'd definitely recommend it as a holiday read because as, as I got on holidays, I, I mentioned in my last podcast, it took me a good couple of days to settle to, to get away from this jibber jabber. That was, did I do this? Did you know like business when you're leaving business or did I set this up? Did I do that? And all that? And, and so it's going and then, The, the one day and I thought, oh, I don't, I don't need to do anything. And that was the day that I picked your book up as well. So it was good timing. Yeah. Excuse me. So yeah, it was really, um, really informative and lots of tips in there brought together. So I definitely, definitely recommend that to people. So did that come about through, just through your tips and working with

Mita Mistry: 19:55

people? Yeah, absolutely. So a lot of the, um, tips that I've written about is based on my experience, uh, obviously my research as well. I've been doing this work for 20 years now. Um, so I, I've read a lot of books as well. Um, so some of the stuff in there, hopefully you wouldn't just find on the internet. It's not, you know, these days you can Google things and everything's there. Um, so I've tried to give some really unique things, um, and, and you know, there's even some Accu Acupuncture points in there that I've included, which you can do with acupressure as well. So, um, yeah, I loved it. I really loved writing this one because, you know, like you say, there's so many tips, but I just felt like, oh, actually I could write more. There's so much more that I want to share. There's so many more things that, mm-hmm. People could use that are so easy to do that they may not think of or may not necessarily know about cause it's not on the internet or it's not from the necessarily a trusted source or, or whatever.

Liz Hill: 20:59

So, but yeah, no, it's good and I think it's a good, good one for people to have in the home. Thank you for sure. Just to dip in and out of Yeah, it'd be very useful. So obviously people can get it from the book, but if you, so I'm finding that I'm coming across a lot of, there's a lot of anxiety anyway, but I'm finding. That there's a lot of frustration with parents. Mm-hmm. And anxiety in, in young kids, you know, like 7, 8, 9 year olds. Mm-hmm. What sort of tips are there? So there's the trace in the hand that you've, that you've told us about. What other things are there that we could bring? Um, you know, I think they should be taught in schools to be fair. You know, I think it, it's so important. Yeah.

Mita Mistry: 21:48

I mean there's lots of tools for children as well, um, in terms of breathing exercises. Um, but also things like coloring. So the way to switch off the anxious brain is to do things like coloring this one, I think I've mentioned it in this one, or maybe might, might be writing it in the new one. I can't remember. It was in this one. Yeah, it was in this one. Um, but. I think getting creative is really important because what's happening is when somebody is anxious, their thinking brain is switched on, um, and it's taken over. So by going, doing something creative, it can be quite meditative. So like coloring books that getting them to sit down and color. For some people they enjoy baking or even sort of modeling, you know, like with Plasticine, I dunno if they still use Plasticine or Play-Doh, I know it makes a lot of meth. It's not the best, but that sort of, that touch and that sort of tactile thing can also be really grounding for children as well. Getting them out in nature, getting them to go on a little adventure, pick up stones, pick up, you know, have a look at the flowers. Let's draw them. There's so many things that you can do with children to calm their sort of nervous systems as well.

Liz Hill: 23:00

I think being in nature, a friend of mine's just been in, um, she hired like a little pod for a week. Oh. And so they were in the middle of the woods. Two young boys. Uh, what They're five and eight. Wow. They just had, she took coloring books, no screens, nothing. You know, it, it wasn't, you are not allowed. But she just thought, I don't want to encourage it cause there was no power there anyway. And, um, She had to, it wasn't far from home. She did have to come home at one point, um, to collect something. Uh, well for an appointment actually. But she. Then said to them, would you like me to get your, um, your iPads? And they're like, no, no, we don't want to. And when I spoke to the eldest and said, what was your favorite? The youngest, it was all climbing the trees and, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the eldest, he, it was so, so sweet, and he said, It was the coloring in because they had, she'd made them all their own little coloring book. So they'd sit by the fire at the table and just color in all together. Brilliant. Yeah, and it, it was just so they were really. Um, tired from the day being out in nature, physically doing things. Mm-hmm. But then that on a night was just calming them down. Mm-hmm. And it seems to, I, I've noticed something a lot that, so when you're in the supermarket, when you, I have a shop, when people come in my shop, if the children start to get a bit loud or they're wanting to touch things, then they just thrust the phone in front of them. Watch this play with. I, I don't know, but I, I'm no expert, but I don't think that's helping. It can't be helping, can it? It's not a

Mita Mistry: 24:41

No, I don't think it is. Like, um, yeah. And I think it is creating this sort of disconnection and addiction to screens as well. And I see us, I see it. Um, you know, when, when we are out and about and, and parents are trying to get there, and I'm not judging, but we've all done it. I've done it myself. When I. Put a screen in front of my child because I need to get, um, yeah, of course some jobs done. I mean, they're, they're teenagers now, but, um, so I totally empathize with that. But yeah, it is even, you know, you see people doing it at breakfast on holiday, you know, just giving their child a A D V D and that's the only way they can get them to eat. And I think we have just become so reliant on devices. Um, it's just the way the world's gone, sadly. But I also think it is contributing to a lot of. The problems that we face. Uh, and like you say, you know that beautiful story you've just shared about your friend and her two boys. It just goes to show those simple activities, being outdoors, climbing a tree, coloring, doing a puzzle together. It gives you a sense of togetherness. And actually that's what children want at the end of the day, is Yeah. Attention, don't they, presence. They just want our presence and I think. As adults, we are probably all quite distracted by our phones as well, and I know I'm guilty of it too, and I have to set reminders on my phone to say, you know, I've, I've been on the phone for x amount of time today, so like I have to put limits on some of my apps as well. Otherwise, sometimes it can spiral out of, uh, control. So I think, I think most of us sort of have been there.

Liz Hill: 26:18

It's a double-edged sword, isn't it really? Because if you, I'm the same. So like with Instagram I'll find that, oh, I'll just go on and just check my messages. And then you think, oh, well I'll just scroll and you can end up and you've lost half an hour. Yeah. In what feels like an instant, just, just scrolling. So there's that side of it. And the side I find with social media that I'm seeing more and more, and you will with teenagers is, is the, um, How you should look, how you should be the, the pressure that seems to be coming from it. Mm-hmm. It is quite difficult, isn't it, for, for a young mind to, well, for any mind, but to deal with that. Mm-hmm.

Mita Mistry: 26:59

Yeah, absolutely. And there's so much research out there that shows that there are very clear links between. Uh, social media sort of usage and mental health issues, um, and anxiety and depression. And there is a pressure. And unfortunately the way our human brain is constructed is we naturally compare, uh, ourselves with what we see in front of us. So social media does that, you know, you are seeing pictures on, you know, filtered, wonderful, perfect looking images, and then you start to feel bad about yourself. You think, well, I don't look like that. We know that there's also been a rise in, um, young girls particularly wanting to have cosmetic surgery to look like they're filters. And these are girls younger than 18. Um, and that was certainly not a problem when I was growing up in the eighties, seventies, eighties. Um, show my age. Now that was never a problem. Cause

Liz Hill: 27:54

we, we didn't have No, it wasn't there. Was it It was just a magazine.

Mita Mistry: 27:57

Yeah, it was, but the magazines, um, probably had that effect on us. As well, you know, in the per perfect sort of, you've gotta look a certain way, be a certain size, have a certain sort of physique. Um, so we know that the social media and media does put pressure on young people, but it's something that I think as parents, we just have to be mindful of it and educate our children and, and sort of encourage them to have. Regular breaks and, and not, um, from social media or not use it. I mean, fortunately my two are not social media fans at all. They don't like it.

Liz Hill: 28:36

That's good. That's rare,

Mita Mistry: 28:37

but good. They, they absolutely don't like it. They have it, but they don't post anything ever. And, um, they rarely use it because the, the, my son says, um, Facebook should be renamed as Nose book cause it's just people being nosy. So It's true. But you've got a good point there,

Liz Hill: 28:57

isn't there? Yeah, no, it's true. Is that, isn't it? It it is. I think it's it's the, the nosy, um, yeah. And then from the posts, if that's what you'd call'em, the people posting, it's sort of like the, look at me on this wonderful holiday. Everything's perfect. And, and you sort of think what happens when that phone goes down? Mm, are you in that perfect moment? Yeah. Was it ever perfect or is it something that you're just trying to create? Yeah, it's quite, um, it's quite a tricky one, isn't it? I think it is. It is.

Mita Mistry: 29:30

I mean, I'm not a big poster, but I have to use social media for, for work and obviously to get the message out there about the books and, you know, healing. So I use it for that. Mostly and family sort of celebrations, birthdays and Aries. I think it's a nice way to celebrate people, but in terms of sort of, yes, I know what you mean. I don't like the whole, look what I'm doing. Look what I've eaten. I don't see the point in sharing that. It'd be like, I, I remember there was a, it was like a meme on, um, It was on the internet a few years ago where there was a video of people as if they were on Facebook or Twitter, and they were taking photos of their food, then running up and down the street, knocking on all their neighbor's doors saying, look what I've eaten today. That's what social media's like. Look what I've eaten. It'd be like you running up and down the street knocking on all your neighbor's door saying, look, what have you.

Liz Hill: 30:27

You see when you put it like that, it's absolutely ludicrous, isn't it? It

Mita Mistry: 30:31

is. It is. And I think that I, watching that made me sort of think, God, actually yeah, that, that's so true. Why are we even doing this? Why are we capturing every single thing? Why can't we just enjoy that moment without sort of capturing it or, or putting it anywhere? So

Liz Hill: 30:47

you can see where social anxiety's grown, can't you? Yeah, absolutely. With, you know, with, with things like that.

Mita Mistry: 30:53

Yeah. And social media. Uh, social media does make social anxiety worse as well, because, um, If you think about it, sometimes people might not post because they think, um, you know, I'm just about to jump into a room full of people that are shouting and screaming, and what if I say something or if I comment on this post and it comes across embarrassing, or I get judged or, so again, yeah, so social media and social media anxiety is also a thing.

Liz Hill: 31:23

Yeah, I can see that. So with your sort of like going back to your second book for you meter, what is your self-care routine? What are your non-negotiables? What do you like to do is treat just for you to, to look after you?

Mita Mistry: 31:40

So that's a lovely question. So for me, my non-negotiables are I have to get outdoors into nature for at least half an hour every single day. Whether that. I walk to the shop or the post office or go for a run, which is my preference. I'd like to go for a run if I can. Uh, but that is my, my sort of go-to every single day is, is to get out into nature. And then I have like a ritual on Saturday mornings where Saturday mornings are like my mindful mornings where I slow everything down. So I do everything, uh, purposefully slowly. So I. Get up when my body wants to get up. There's no alarm clock. I have my tea or copy very slowly, my breakfast slowly. I might do a face mask or paint my nails, give my hands a massage. I just just relish. On Saturday mornings, I re read inspirational stuff, listen to podcasts, meditations, or I do a bit of yoga. Oh, yoga's my other one. Yoga's like a treat. That's my real treat. Um, Yeah, all of those things really.

Liz Hill: 32:50

How about you? Um, for me, meditation's, my non-negotiable, um, on a morning and it out in nature. Like you say that that's my real, while we're away. Last week it was somewhere very peaceful. It had woods next to it, and so just going in and just, that really brings me to, to presence. And we have a gorgeous little wood in our village that it's only small, but when you walk through it, you can be through it in 10 minutes, but when you walk through it, it's just, it's just the peace. It's the birds singing. It's just, I, to me, it's just like, it sweeps me clean. Yeah, this quite clear is my energy. So yeah, and, and physical exercise. Uh, the yoga or doing stretches of some form. Yeah.

Mita Mistry: 33:37

Lovely. Yeah. And, and nature. I just find it, you know, observing the different seasons as well, you know, so I'll do the same run, but I just love seeing how through the same sort of route, but throughout the year and just noticing. How, you know, how it changes and how it's beautiful in every season. Although, you know, I don't particularly like the cold or winter that much, but it's still very beautiful.

Liz Hill: 34:05

Yeah, there's, there's always a beauty to it, isn't there? Yeah, there is still a

Mita Mistry: 34:08

beauty to it. And then in autumn, you know, the colors of the leaves and just everything. I just love seeing that transition and the change and, and that's why I do like to get outdoors and, and sort of run, cuz you sort of get to see quite. Quite a bit and hear the birds and see the first butterflies and the first flies. It's just gorgeous. Yeah.

Liz Hill: 34:28

Well, yeah. We are very blessed where we live. I feel it's, we lived in Spain for 10 years and it was in the desert region and that had, its its own beauty. But you, I loved that you had 320 days of sunshine because I'm a, I absolutely adore the sun, but when we came back, I can remember. Just being, well, when we used to visit, we normally used to visit, sort of like, I used to try do it sort of like end of April, may. Then there were the blue bells out. Yeah. Because, because we were from, because it was the desert area, so it was all olive trees, mond trees, cacti, and, and that was it. That was your greenery, really? Yeah. So to come back and to see that lush green and that purple and, you know, the, the vivid colors. Yeah. And then, like you say, in, in autumn, that change of colors. Um, like you, I'm not a big fan of winter, and I'm learning to see the beauty in winter. Yeah. But I'm, I'm not a fan of the, the dark, you know, like for me now, this time of year is heaven. It's light. Yeah. Yeah. You know, for such a long time, um, it's warm. It's just, you know, the, every, all the flowers are out or the, the leaves are out. It's just that for me makes me very present. Yeah, because you, you're just in awe of nature, aren't you? And I think that's absolutely the absolute, absolute wonder of nature.

Mita Mistry: 35:48

It really is. I'm, I'm, I am really loving it right now. And the smells as well, the flowers, the fragrance. It's lovely. Um, but you know, and again, we wouldn't have it if we didn't have the winter, so we do have to have it.

Liz Hill: 36:01

I guess that's it. And we wouldn't have the green if we didn't have the rain. Yeah. But yeah, it, it's that and, and smell like you're saying about smell smelly. So emotive, isn't it? Mm-hmm.

Mita Mistry: 36:10

Definitely. I mean, I, I, I mean, today on my run today, there was, I don't know what, I think it was honeysuckle or something. It was so fragrant. I was like, my goodness. It was so potent. It smelled like perfume. And it's quite incredible, isn't it, when you sort of really tune your senses into nature, what you actually hear and, and smell and, and notice as well. But also there, there was some fresh freshly cut lawn as well, and that always smells very nice as well. So those, those sort of scents take me back to my childhood when I remember some of the carefree days went. You're at school and sports day and you know, you're given ice creams and things, so it does bring that sort of nice memories.

Liz Hill: 36:53

Absolutely. I was, uh, walking the dog early this morning obviously, cuz it's a warm day and I thought if anybody's watching me, they'll think I'm crazy. But I was walking down the village to the woods. And there's loads of roses along the way. But there was one, it was a very tiny little rose. I, I dunno what it was, but I smell everything and I, I, I think when I was smelling this rose and it just transported me back to being six years old, the, the smell of it. And I remember I used to make rose water properly, not properly, but I did, I was quite did as well actually

Mita Mistry: 37:25

from the garden I used to make perfume.

Liz Hill: 37:27

Yeah, same. Same. And it just, it just took me back and I was just like, You know, and then the dog sort of like pulled and I was like, oh yeah, come on, let's go. But I was just lost in that moment. Yeah. And it's

Mita Mistry: 37:37

moments like those that are really good for us, that nourish us and we need to remember our sort of inner child and playfulness as well. Cause I think life can get a little bit and with everything going on in the world and we sort of, and I think as we get older, you know, we sort of start to notice differences in our body and and things. So it's important that. We do remember those nostalgic moments as well. Yeah.

Liz Hill: 38:04

Yeah. It, it is very important. Yeah. Well, I've loved chatting with you today. It's

Mita Mistry: 38:09

Oh, I have as well, love chatting with you. It's so lovely and so natural and easy, and. Very calm. Thank you, Liz. Oh, you're

Liz Hill: 38:16

welcome. And it's so informative for people. You've given us loads of tips and I really do recommend that you get Mita Book. I'll put the details in the show notes below and her first book as well. They, they're both, I think the first book really will explain a lot to you of what's going on in the world now. I think, I think it's a great tool for, you know, helping people to, whether you suffer with the social anxiety yourself or you know, people that do. I, I think it's a, a, the both great books, I think they should, it should be taught in schools. Yeah. It really should be taught in schools. It should be part of the curriculum. But yeah, I'll hand that mantle to you.

Mita Mistry: 38:54

Thank you. A lot of people have said that and yeah, I, I, I will, I have contacted schools and schools have been in touch, so, Um, yeah, hopefully. Hopefully they'll

Liz Hill: 39:04

be, well keep us posted on that one. I will do. I will do. Okay. So again, thank you for joining me guys. Thanks for joining. Oh, you're welcome. Thanks for joining us. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you again soon. Bye.

Mita Mistry: 39:17

Bye.