Bri is a Childfree Wealth Specialist

​​The Childfree Wealth Podcast, hosted by Bri Conn and Dr. Jay Zigmont, CFP®, is a financial and lifestyle podcast that explores the unique perspectives and concerns of childfree individuals and couples. After nearly a year of training, Bri is now a Childfree Wealth Specialist & is set to start taking on her own clients.

You’ll hear more about her experience & insights as the conversation dives into the emotional aspects of financial planning, highlighting the importance of addressing clients’ worries and anxieties. Bri discusses her journey, the challenges of discussing feelings, and the unexpected emotional depth of financial planning. Dr. Jay emphasizes the significance of behaviors and emotions in financial success and the role of Childfree Wealth Specialists as supportive guides.

If you’re interested in talking more with Bri & in need of 1-on-1 financial planning, be sure to connect with Bri at the link below.

Resources:

• Podcast: Ep. 46 Unpacking Money Guilt

The Childfree Wealth Podcast, hosted by Bri Conn and Dr. Jay Zigmont, CFP®, is a financial and lifestyle podcast that explores the unique perspectives and concerns of childfree individuals and couples.

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If you want to join the conversation, email us at media@childfreewealth.com, follow Childfree Wealth® on social media, or visit our website www.childfreewealth.com!

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Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational & entertainment purposes. Please consult your advisor before implementing any ideas heard on this podcast.

Transcript

Dr Jay

Hi Childree Wealth listeners today is going to be a little differ. We're going to do an episode about Bri. I mean of all about being a Childfree Wealth Specialist or whatever, is it about Bri and being a Childfree Wealth Specialist I think is what we're going to do. So we're going to put Bri in the hot seat. We're going to put her through their paces here.

She has been working with me for about the last year and training to become what we call a Childfree Wealth Specialist. She's also learning to become a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™. Well, she's going to start taking her own clients first of the year. So probably by the time you listen to this and I thought you might be fun to go like inside Bri's brain.

How about that? What do you think, Bri?

Bri

That’s a scary place, be careful what you wish for.

Dr Jay

We’ll go there. Just to give you a little behind the scenes, Bri has been working for the past year as a paraplanner, which is someone who helps a financial planner through the process. She's now going to start taking her own clients as what we call a Childfree Wealth Specialist, and that's someone who we have trained on the specific weirdness, I guess the different ways of looking at it, childfree financial planning.

So, Bri, what's the kind of biggest you got this year through that process?

Bri

I was not expecting it to be so heavy and emotional. When you think of finance, you think of numbers and just kind of like, okay, these are the facts. But that is not at all the reality here. There is a lot more of going through, getting to know people and their life. And it's not all numbers all day, every day.

It's actually rarely numbers.

Dr Jay

Yeah, we call what we do life and financial planning, but kind of like, what do you mean the feelings like know. I know, I know. That's your favorite topic or at least favorite topic depending on how you want to look at it to talk about. But I mean, what does that mean?

Bri

For a lot of clients, it means talking about, you know, worries and anxieties they have surrounding money and the future and whether or not they're going to be okay, not only themselves, but also taking care of parents or any other family members that may need help from them. And digging into those emotions, how can we support, how can we build a support system to go ahead and then not only support our clients, but also support the person that they're trying to support as well?

And I wasn't ever expecting that to be something we covered.

Dr Jay

Yeah, to be honest, most of your success with finances is your behaviors, your emotion, all that put in there. And we get a lot of folks that they've kind of kept their head in the sand and just not want to talk about it and not want to address it. And then it comes out and we've tracked it. About a third of the people in our introductory meetings, we call them consultations break out in tears or as close as we're going to get it.

Like it bothered me for a while, I was realizing so many, but I truly think it's because they feel like they're heard. They feel like they’re understood and feeling that they're I mean, have you seen that and what's your reaction to that?

Bri

Yeah, there are definitely ones who have broken down before. And I know going into certain meetings, okay, this this client is probably in a breakdown at some point during this meeting. And it's not a bad thing. It's just I have learned to expect it now and they can get out the emotions and feelings that they were worried about before as you create a plan.

But this stuff isn't always the most fun to talk about and it can be really difficult. At first I was like, oh God, I don't like this because I hate talking about feelings, but I'm slowly getting more comfortable with it. And I sent Jay an email the other week and I was like, hey, it was after one of my client meetings and I said, I'm liking talking about feelings more, which is very surprising for me because I don't like it at all.

And I think it's the fact that I just grew up in an environment where people don't talk about feelings and it's like there's a joke that it's very passive aggressive. Nobody will address feelings with one another. They'll just be passive aggressive about them. So I don't like them, but I'm learning to like them. And it's… this job has definitely helped.

Dr Jay

And we're intentionally trying to make a safe space that, you know, it's okay to talk about the feelings. Come on, money. It's a deal. We've had one of our best downloaded episodes. It's about money, guilt, you know, whether it's guilt, shame or, you know, we're not trying to, like, put you through the therapist routine and diagnosis with anything we're just trying to say, alright, let's unburden, you know, and those feelings and also say, hey, just because you get more money does not mean the feelings get better. You know, a lot of people will say, well, if I hit X dollars, I'll feel comfortable with money. The answer is no. And, you know, I don't know if you've seen it, Bri, but at least I've seen it.

There are times, you know, there's a lot of suffering. So you can do by yourself. Yeah, we'll talk about investing. That's really, really simple. Set it, forget it, let it go. But there's a lot more that you kind of need a third person to, you know, sit there and have the conversation, whether it's with a couple or individuals.

And I think that's what we do as Childfree Wealth Specialists, is we can sometimes just be a sounding board to go, This is what you want, this is what you say you want, this is what you're doing. Those don't all come together.

Bri

We think that is very true and it's been said in multiple client meetings, you know, hey, this is what you say you want to do, but you're not doing it. We can point that out better than your partner can point that out. Because I know for me, if my wife says something, sometimes it pisses me off a little bit and I don't like it, but if, Jay says that I tend to listen more.

I might still not like it, I might still complain, but it is received the better. And that's the same thing with our clients. We can say things that your partner can't or your friends can't say to you.

Dr Jay

Yeah. And if you've listen to the podcast, you’ve probably caught that Bri has not only come through this as an employee of Childfree Wealth, learning ideas, but also heard her wife have been going through the financial planning and feeling it from the other side. Alright, Bri, which side you like being on, the client or the Childfree Wealth Specialist.

Bri

It depends on the day. Yeah.

Dr Jay

What do you mean?

Bri

My meetings are very different than a lot of client meetings. Like, I have to come prepared with all of my stuff. And you just say, what are we talking about? And then I'll say, like, whatever I think. And you're like, why did do you it that way? And I have to be able to back up why I am doing something.

So it's, it's more of me having to learn and then go to you and say, is this a good idea or not, versus not having any sort of idea and just being guided?

Dr Jay

Yeah, I think the reality is all of our clients are focused on people learning. Bri’s is probably a little bit higher level because I expect a bit more out of it. I joke, but it's true that some days I imagine the back, some days a kick in the butt and I try to rotate between those and some days it's more one in the other.

I think it becomes a balancing act. So Bri, you’ve seen our process. I know you've probably saw, I’m trying to think. 200 meetings that sound about right?

Bri

Yeah, at least probably.

Dr Jay

A couple hundred meetings with clients. What do you think's like the common theme between all of them?

Bri

Between all of them? I don't think there's a common theme between all of them. They're all very, very different. It's all… Well, okay. Now is one of those surface versus structure things I can hear going through your brain. A lot of it is focused on making sure clients either have one category, so I want to make sure they're set and good or they're coming to us worried about things for themselves, but also really worried about things for whoever else they're taking care of. But there's a lot of heart in every meeting. I guess that's the best theme I could say.

Dr Jay

Well, you know, I wasn't trying to trick you there, but it's interesting. Our clients, no two financial planners look the same because we serve childfree folks. The only parents we take on as clients are parents of our childfree folks, and the standard financial planner parents, financial plan is very similar meeting to meeting. Ours is not. And I think that's a challenge in itself.

You know, our focus becomes more about asking the right questions, having the conversations, working it through, know we take people through our eight no-baby steps, work through the process. I think the challenge is it's very common with our clients to say, okay, I want this goal when you're like, okay, cool. And then we get to a point they’re like, no, I want a different goal.

Like, alright, we're going to go there too. Or, well, I want to go in a different direction and to the point where some days we care and guess where people are going. You know, the hard part is if a client comes in, you know I don't know where I want to go with my money or what my goals are or what I want to do, my finances.

I can't really make a plan, you know. And I think you start diving into people saying, all right, well, what do you want to be when you grow up? Or where do you want to go, what you want to do? That's all part of our process. Now, at the same time, as you are learning to becoming a Childfree Wealth Specialist, you're finishing your education to become a certified financial planner. Did you see that there or is it different?

Bri

No, no, I have not seen that. It is very… the education is a lot more technical. And like you need to know what the stands for. Yesterday I spent 3 hours at the library reading about insurance and the different categories of insurance and what they cover, and what they don't do. It's a lot more technical and it doesn't really leave any room for feelings or figuring out what the person wants is to just follow this plan and you'll be good.

Dr Jay

Yeah, And I think the other part is the CFP® is much more linear, kind of like you do this and that, and it's a very simple process that doesn't necessarily match life. So when you're looking for a financial planner or somebody helping their finances, you want to make sure they understand who you are. Yeah, we specifically work childfree folks, if you're still debating having kids, we're probably not the right people for you.

Yeah, we call it Childfree Wealth Specialist for a reason. I think the hard part of that is that we don't have a book on, you know, the best childfree financial planning, yet. Working on that. But you know, that's where the only way to learn this is literally through hundreds and hundreds of client meetings and working through the process.

And it give you a little feel for what that looks like behind the scenes. Each meeting Bri and I meet before the meeting, we review what is going on with the client. We’re actually setting... We we usually start with about three things we're going to cover in the meeting. By the way, we never get to all three. It's kind of like, you know, we have an idea.

They bring a couple of things. We'll see where it goes. We go through in the meeting and then we have a debrief after. It’s kind of what works, what didn't, and what would you do differently. So now I'm going to ask Bri the question. So she's now become a Childfree Wealth Specialist that's been through the whole process for the overall process.

Bri, the whole last year you spent with me, what worked, what didn't, what would you do differently?

Bri

What worked was going through and just sitting in meetings and doing the reps, though I don't… I hate it. Absolutely hated it, but the first time you said, okay, what are we covering? You have 5 minutes to figure it out. That scared the hell out of me. But I figured it out. I was like, okay, here's three things that we can go over in this meeting, and it changes how I take notes now and it changes what I detail all of those things, that way it can be we can be more prepared for the next meeting and just have more information about different topics on our clients. But also it's really good to have that agenda to go into the meetings and it was terrifying to figure it out in 5 minutes initially. But now I can be like, okay, boom, here you go.

So it's a lot. I learned a lot quicker. And as I took my series 65 earlier, now I'm doing my CFP®. It's easier for me to learn things when I'm doing them in meetings versus just reading the book. So maybe what I would do differently is potentially we have like themes for different months, matching those to the courses that I'm doing for my CFP®, potentially matching those up a little bit because then it's easier to learn it as I'm going through like insurance.

When we're talking about insurance, which that just happens to work out. Or taxes, when we're doing taxes, those things I think would be easier to do.

Dr Jay

I would love if our clients would follow our schedule. And everybody talks about estate planning on a certain month & everybody talks about tax planning. Life just never goes away. I mean, now we have just a behind the scenes. We have actually a schedule of different things to talk about across the entire year because there's different things.

And like, for example, end of the year tax planning, there's things you have to do at the end of the year to make sure you get it done before the calendar changes. But then like, somebody's life will change and like, by the way, you know, my mother just had this surgery and I got to go take care of over the next six months and it shifts our priorities and that's intentional.

Yeah, we give up on our structure for clients that work through theirs. Now, as you're going through the process, I think the challenge becomes you'll get to a point where they're like, alright, what do I do next? And like, or if we ask clients what to focus on and they go, I don't know, where do you start with them first?

Bri

First, it really depends on where they're at in their eight no baby steps. Those can help provide guidance as far as the financials go, but then for life, Kinder’s three life questions are really helpful to give people an idea of potential next steps they can take to get them thinking about what they want out of life, because that's a question that is so often skipped over. But it does take a while to figure out, and sometimes that comes in the form of a sabbatical or a job change and giving them the opportunity to consider taking those, but also building a financial plan that allows them the finances to do that, because that can be difficult if you don't have a plan for it, but I think a lot of people need it.

Dr Jay

Yeah, we meet with our clients each month for an hour, we've got an hour of work that's offline by us beforehand or after, and we try to accomplish one or two things each meeting. And sometimes the big questions like, you know, goals, although people don't know. We give them things to think about. We'll also do the other part of it is housekeeping.

You know, just kind of like cleaning up the accounts. I've got five 401(k)s, that I have to roll over to my IRA or I got to move there so I have my insurance set up or I do have and it's funny, I have some clients that will like love the housekeeping stuff because it just like puts aside the big picture stuff so we don't have to talk about it.

And then you got to like push them back and be like, hey, so now we've done the homework. Now we need to work on the bigger picture stuff and it becomes a balance. I just I don't know, I'm probably a bit more direct sometimes or I don't know who do you think's more direct, you or I with clients? I mean, we have different styles and that's okay.

Bri

It depends. I think you can be a bit more direct. I have to be selectively direct.

Dr Jay

Why?

Bri

Because I am all younger than a lot of our clients and I don't.

Dr Jay

Are you just saying I'm old? Is that what you're saying?

Bri

You know, I'm not saying you're old. You're like closer to the age and I am younger and it's not always received as well. When somebody younger is telling you to get something done that's there.

Dr Jay

That’s fair. So, alright. What's your ideal client look like now, by the way? A little kind of a reality check, Bri can only handle about 30 clients. So we got to find the 30 people that would like to work with her and the best that she'll serve everybody. But like, who's your favorite?

Bri

Who's my favorite? That's hard.

Dr Jay

What type of clients do you like working with best?

Bri

I really like women and couples. I would say that is kind of my favorite. I love couples because I like when somebody will say something and you know that they're full of B.S. and the other one will make a face so you can kind of call it out and play between the two of them. That's really fun. Probably like 30 in their thirties, early forties.

Bri

Couples are my favorite to work with.

Dr Jay

And what's your favorite topics to cover? By the way, covers everything and I think our process, has 120 odd topics. But yes, you pick your favorites.

Bri

Estate planning, caring for parents and investing. Those are my top three.

Dr Jay

Okay. Estate planning, care for parents. Those are the sad stuff at the end. But all right. Like.

Bri

Okay. But to me it's not sad. Like yes, it's hard, but it's the greatest act of love you could ever do is by having that done.

Dr Jay

That's fair and investing, everybody loves to invest because, you know, everybody loves to talk about our money growing. I mean, this can't beat it. Alright, so made you pick your favorite topics. What's your least favorite topics?

Bri

Taxes.

Dr Jay

Nobody loves taxes.

Bri

I know people.

Dr Jay

Okay, so we're recording this. It's November and I'm doing all the end of year tax planning with people are like my brain is just ready to explode on some of this tax stuff. But you're right, Bri, it's not the fun stuff but me. I mean, I've seen some clients this year that we probably saved them six figures worth of taxes by doing some tax planning.

And that's not an exaggeration.

Bri

Easily. Yeah, taxes just suck. So like, okay, I get the point of them, but I don't think it's always used wisely so that’s what irritates me.

Dr Jay

Yeah and keep in mind we don't do tax filings so we don't actually like you know here let me fill out your 1040 like you would do, you know, and I'm like, no, we don't do that. We do tax planning. We're like, So how do we pay the least amount of taxes at the right time, the right type of taxes?

We’ll have a separate episode in tax planning. We can get into that, but we don't go, Hey, by the way, here's how you can take your money overseas and not at home. Know, we're all staying within the rules, but like, should I do a Roth or traditional and an HSA and how do I set this up? And when it those are huge topics.

Bri

They're very big and very important and nobody likes to pay taxes. Well, some people like to pay taxes. It just depends. But having more control over when you pay your taxes and looking to save money, paying taxes can be helpful. And a lot of people enjoy it. It's just taxes are frustrating.

Dr Jay

Yeah. Here's the thing, finances itself. I believe the way to make finance accessible is to use humor, humility and vulnerability. And if we haven't, if you haven't seen it on the podcast, you probably haven't listened enough. Yeah, we'll share our stuff, will share our stories. You know, we'll share what we're going through. And literally, I'm having to push Bri through all the vulnerability of talking about like learning how to do this stuff over the past year.

And then she also put out and she's working with her own clients, you know, just it's tough to put yourself out there, you know, and the way we do it is after each meeting, the sessions are recorded. I go through and review the sessions. Now, I don't do it every session, but every session for now. Then debrief feedback and say, Hey, here's what works.

Here's what did you do differently next time? What's that process like for you?

Bri

It's pretty good. I kind of get irritated when your emails are short.

Dr Jay

I'm like, I give you less feedback.

Bri

Yeah, that annoys me. I'm like, no, I want more. Please.

Dr Jay

By the way, if you want to see something painful, I'll put in the email rewatch from minute for two minute seven. If you ever have to rewatch yourself, doing stuff with clients like it is painful to go. Did I really just say that? I really just do that?

Bri

Oh that sucks more than anything. That sucks.

Dr Jay

Yeah, but that's part of what we're doing is we're doing a constant improvement process and saying what work or didn't I with all my clients, you know, hey, I could have done this better. Now, by the way, I've actually talked to our clients. They probably all loved the session, didn't think about at minute four I asked a weird question.

Well, that's what we're doing is we're down into that and say, yeah, I’ll give you an example of this. I was reviewing a video for Bri. The client said, you know, blah, blah, blah is a concern. And then she's like, so you like to travel? And I'm like, wait a minute, you just ignored that. The client just said that by what it was, Bri was connecting to goals in the bigger picture.

And I'm like, you got back to it in the end, but the client gave you a clue. And that's part of our normal process.

Bri

Yeah, that was like one of my very first meetings. Now, God, I'm like, you're right. That was a mess up on my part.

Dr Jay

Yeah. And by the way, we're not talking about, Hey, I messed up the finances stuff. Like that. It's a style thing. It's communication, but we work hard to make sure our clients get their money's worth, really, but also make the improvements we want to see.

Bri

Yeah. And when you afterwards are like, scale of 1 to 10, how well do you think you did and how old do you think the client, what would the client rate the value in one day? You gave me like a seven and I was like no five at best. That was awful.

Dr Jay

And I'm willing to bet if I ask the client there, when I said nine or ten, I mean, you know, so we hold ourselves to a high standard, but that's okay. Now, just kind of a little behind the scenes on this. We, I told you, we meet with the clients on a monthly basis, but then what we start with is a free introductory meeting, which it's an hour on Zoom. You get to know Bri, you get to work through it and see what fits and what doesn't. And Bri is starting to take people signing up that there's a link in the notes and you go to our website and get to it either way, and you get a chance to sit down with Bri.

She gets to talk to you, you get to talk to her, test each other out and see if it's a good fit. So how do you know if a client's a good fit? I mean, because I'll be honest, we don't take all clients. We know, for example, we don't take people that have cross-border issues, you know, different countries.

We don't take people that are parents unless it's one of our parents for our childfree folks. And sometimes it's not right fit. But how do you know if the client's the right fit and somebody you would enjoy to work with?

Bri

And I think a lot of it is a gut feeling. You just kind of know after talking to somebody for a while whether or not it would work. There are some people it's like, yes, this could work, but I don't think that they're actually ready to dive into this. Other people, it's like, yeah, they're definitely ready. They definitely want to dive in and get going.

You can see the enthusiasm, different levels of enthusiasm. Sometimes people are more reserved, which is how I tend to be as a person. And those are difficult because you don't know how you did and whether or not they had enjoyed the conversation or not. And those are a little nerve wracking. But I also know I'm not the same way during most things.

In fact, I kind of come off as a little scary according to my wife. So those times can be hard.

Dr Jay

Wait, how do you come off as scary, I can't go past that. Like, what am I missing here?

Bri

Because I just tend to not say a lot during things. Like earlier this week, my wife said something and she goes, You literally pride yourself on not giving information to people. It's like, well, because I just don't like to keep… This is the most open I ever am. If anybody wants to hear about my life, they go, I need to come to this podcast because this is the most open.

Otherwise, I don't tell people in my life when I'm doing things. I just kind of do them and rarely say anything, and I just tend to be reserved about most of my moves in life. And so I think that's a little nerve wracking.

Dr Jay

At that fair. And I'm somewhat the same. I think the reality check with their clients is some of the best things we can do is just shut up and listen and make. There will be times like Bri actually told… So Rob's new member of our team and you'll get to meet him in a future podcast. Bri literally told Rob, Nope, Jay’s not frozen. He's just sitting there listening.

Bri

Yeah. I did tell him that.

Dr Jay

It's hard, right? Sometimes you just got to shut up & listen. I think the other part of it is, you know, it's hard to say you're on premise. I personally think you're going to do phenomenally as a Childfree Wealth Specialists. I'm trusting you with clients that, you know, I think you are way ahead of most folks in the financial planning world, especially when it comes to childfree things.

Are you perfect? Nope, I'm not either. We'll mess up, we learn, we grow. That's part of what we're doing. It's just a matter of being open enough to say, hey, I'm not perfect. I'm working through it too. We do the finances a lot on the podcast. Like, yup, my problem is Amazon. I may have spent a little too much Amazon recently because we're just after Cyber Monday, but I feel like we all have our issues. We just need a safe space to talk about it & work it through. So if you're interested at all, hit the link, get on Bri’s schedule. I will tell you she's got limited space, so the way it works is essentially your schedule opens up every month, like for the next month.

So if you can't get in this month, you can try again in a little bit and get on the next month. But you've got a great opportunity to meet with somebody who's awesome, which is Bri, and dig into your finances and by the way, the hours cost you nothing. I will say the hardest thing is making the appointment for the hour.

Like it's kind of like the workout. You know, the hardest thing is tying your shoes and just getting ready to do the workout. It's just hitting send and doing that. I think what I find with clients is they'll do the intro meaning and either they'll sign up as a client about a week later or about a year later.

And the difference is motivation. Once you get going, you start working. Your finances is pretty good. It's just a first couple of steps. So your first step is hit the link, sign up with Bri, grab an hour with her now and then. If it works, great will sign up. If not, we're not going to chase it down. We're not like salespeople.

We're, you know, technically we’re advice-only fee-only fiduciaries. That means we get paid for our time. We don't say any products. We don't know, hey, you should buy this insurance because we get commission. Nope. Don't do anything that we're not doing to have a sales pitch. It is. If it works for you, great. If not, have a great day.

You know, that's about it. Which people may not be used to. We've also had people that have had other financial planners and say what we do is completely different. And that's probably true in most cases because we're talking about your life, finances and all that together. If you've late listening to be on the podcast, you'll love her as your Childfree Wealth Specialist.