Flower in the River: A Family Tale Finally Told

Unintended Detours into the Past

• Natalie Zett

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In Episode 33, I explore the changing seasons in Minnesota, from the scorching heat of summer, marked by wildfires, to the serene arrival of winter. 

I take you through my creative process in crafting podcast artwork and continue discussing Chapter Six, “Sketching an Unlived Life.” This chapter centers on Zara who is tasked with unraveling her tragic family history. Throughout, I emphasize the intricate dynamics of family support and the significant roles played by friends and acquaintances.

In this podcast segment, I share a humorous incident where I unexpectedly found myself trapped in my old neighborhood, St. Anthony Park, because of good old Minnesota road construction. This unexpected detour led me down memory lane, allowing me to revisit the places of my past. I discuss the challenges and highlights of that period of my life and emphasize the significance of my chosen family of friends during that phase.

Shifting gears, I examine the intricacies of crafting podcast episode artwork, with a focus on the episode titled “Sketching an Unlived Life.” I include a poignant photo featuring my Aunt Martha’s handwriting, a detail that carries a double meaning.

I reflect on the guidance and subtle supernatural elements that have influenced my project, highlighting the importance of discerning relevance in storytelling. Last, I venture into the progression of the story, where the character Zara seeks her friend Elly’s assistance in overcoming the fear of moving forward. 

And a fun sidebar: I discuss the intriguing legend of Resurrection Mary, a renowned ghost story originating from Chicago. Resurrection Mary is described as a captivating young woman donning a white gown or party dress, often spotted hitchhiking along Archer Avenue or gracefully dancing at local dance halls. These encounters typically involve drivers offering her a ride, only for her to mysteriously vanish when they approach Resurrection Cemetery in Justice, Illinois—coincidentally, the same location as Bethania Cemetery.

Music (Artlist)

  • Francesco DAndrea - Killers Remorse
  • Kevin Graham - Until the End
  • Kevin Graham - It's Not That Simple

Just for Fun 

Speaker 1:

Why? Hello, I'm Natalie Zett and welcome to Flower in the River. Flower in the River is a podcast about a book I wrote of the same name, and that book is about the Eastland disaster that took place in 1915 in Chicago and how that long ago tragedy affected my family for generations. I'll talk about writing and family history and what you do when the supernatural comes into your life, when you're innocently doing a family history research project. Come on and let's have some fun with this. Hello, this is Natalie and this is episode 33, and I'm recording this on October 28th, 23, where, at least in Minnesota, signs of winter are starting to happen and after the summer where we just had nonstop heat, nonstop fires, smoke from fires from as far away as Canada and our boundary waters, which is north of where we are, this is a welcome relief. When I was a kid, it was just the opposite I hated winter and loved summer, and now that's reversed, simply because it's nice not to be breathing fire. Okay, a funny thing happened last week after I finished recording and posted this podcast. What I always do. I always create some kind of collage artwork that represents the episode as best I can, or what jives with me, what resonates with me and that's what I use for the social media postings, and I will expand upon that a little bit more later on in this episode and since I opened a new chapter to the audience, chapter 6, which is called sketching an unlived life. And the dilemma of this chapter is that the main character, who is an experienced journalist, is suddenly out of her depth because she feels tasked or called to do something with the information that her mother's sister has given to her about the family history, about the Eastland disaster and about her great aunt who was killed. But she doesn't know where to start and information available is very sparse, to say the least. So she's in a quandary, thinking what is this? Some kind of a setup? And I will continue reading from this chapter, because this chapter is not just about family connection.

Speaker 1:

It is also a two-pronged thing. Whenever a person goes through life, they their families, you would think, you're told are always there for you and are always supportive. As we know, that doesn't always happen and, as we know, sometimes we're the ones who are unable to be there or be supportive. So it's definitely one of those human things too. We're not always, we don't always live up to the ideals we'd like. Hopefully we get back on track and amend whatever situations need to be amended. But in this story and in life, there are also the friends, or even sometimes acquaintances, who appear on the stage of our lives and in some ways, a lot of these people are able to understand us and support us better than our families of origin. That happens a lot and probably due to the fact that they have the distance from us, they haven't grown up with us and seen everything that's happened. I acknowledge that too in the book. Okay, and so this is a lot of what this story is about. It's about not just okay.

Speaker 1:

This woman's very internally driven Zara is very internal. She doesn't want to talk about this revelation, this genealogical revelation, and as time goes on, this story begins simmering inside of her to the point where it feels like it's going to boil over. And as much as she's wanted to be very introspective about this story, she feels she'll burst unless she shares it with her best friend, who is Ellie D'Angelo, and Ellie really is a very it's a wonderful character, but it's also a character that makes things move. When you're a good friend, you see your friends accomplish something, or you see your friends succeed and you rejoice in the fact that they are succeeding and doing well, and as much as possible, you want to walk alongside of them and grow with them. And maybe you're thinking right now yeah, sure, that's the idealized vision of a friendship, but actually these types of good and strong friendships do happen. I have had a number of them happen in my life and I'm so grateful for them.

Speaker 1:

I agree, though, that they don't always happen, and when they don't, that's a hard thing to deal with, and if you've listened to previous episodes, you know that a lot of those friends and mentors that I have had, who were so wonderful, have passed away, and is there anybody that's come and taken their place? Not really, but again, when you meet people at certain junctures in your life, it's like it'll never be that time again in a life, will it? Well, just this past week I have to back up a little bit and say, since the pandemic and since my work situation has been totally remote. We slowly find ourselves getting back together again, and it has to be kind of set up differently, because most of the buildings we were working with had to be sold off. So I think remote working for us is here to stay, at least for a while.

Speaker 1:

But we do get together socially occasionally and for me this was a really interesting situation because I have only been part of this particular IT team, for it'll be a year in February, so this week I got together for breakfast for the very first time with my very small team, and it was a really great experience. And some of the people I actually had worked with previously, several years ago so the majority of people I already knew for a number of years and the other people I'd never met any of them in person, including my supervisor. So it was quite the trip to be able to go out to this restaurant and be with all these people, my work team, and what I was telling one of my other colleagues is that it was almost as if that those three years of isolation hadn't happened, was as if we were able to pick up, as if the distance hadn't happened. We picked up where we left off, and I thought that that speaks well for this particular group of people. Sometimes those connections happen to in the workplace, and so in order to get to this location, this restaurant, I had to drive through my old neighborhood, which is St Anthony Park in St Paul and that was where I wrote the majority of the book, because I lived there so many years From the time I graduated from Luther's Seminary. I just stayed there.

Speaker 1:

When I remember living in St Anthony Park, I think of that place as so pivotal and so important to me, because it was my first grown-up living situation and there's nothing like that. What was so exhilarating and frightening at the same time is when I moved to St Paul, minnesota. I didn't know anyone and it was exciting because it was a chance for me to start again from ground zero. I had already had quite a few adventures before I moved up here, and having the opportunity to start over when I'm still in my 20s, it was a great experience and I also felt very free because there was no family around. Well, I was wrong about that. Okay, I didn't realize that I was related to so many people up here, but what I did feel when I first got out of the car, my first road trip up here, is that I recognized the place, that it felt like home, and to later discover that I had so such deep roots here was just mind blowing for me and it was wonderful. And also, I was already a published journalist by the time I moved here.

Speaker 1:

But I wanted to keep my skills up and I wanted extra sources of income because I didn't have a whole lot to begin with, and even with working in IT, there was no guarantee that the jobs would be there. So I always, even early on, always maintained as they call them, multiple streams of income, and that has served me well. It doesn't work for everybody, but it has been a good thing for me to do. When one stream dries up, I always have had these other streams and I've always had to develop other things along the way and constantly reinvent myself, because that's what life has called for from me. So I got a part-time job as a writer and a photographer for our community newspaper, which was and is still called the St Anthony Park Bugle, or the shorthand is Park Bugle, and in my book I do call this newspaper by its actual name. I don't know why, but I referenced it as it is and it has been such a wonderful gift to me.

Speaker 1:

So what happened was I was writing articles and doing photographs and being sent out on assignments For a while. It was pretty much weekly, and I was learning how to hone my skills of interviewing people, of letting people talk and letting them shine. And that was my approach to living in this neighborhood and working in this neighborhood is that I wanted our unsung heroes and we had so many of them who were doing so many wonderful things. I wanted them to have their chance to have center stage, because most of the time when you're talking about Minnesota, you're talking about people who, in a sense, oh, they'll say things like well, you know, it's not all that much, or what I did. Well, you know, you just do these things in life and it's just like, oh my gosh. And I think that's why I fell in love with the people up here too, because they are not the braggadocios, they are not the people who narcissistic, people who take center stage. They're just really the humble salt of the earth types of people they do exist. They're up here, and if you listen to Garrison Keillers Lake Wobagon stories, you will know that, yes, it's a very idealized form of life in Minnesota, but there's a basis for reality in what the stories that Garrison has shared throughout the years.

Speaker 1:

So, because I was working for this newspaper, I had a chance to hone my skills, and not just that one of my editors told me. She said why don't you just write about whatever you want to write about? And I thought that could be dangerous. Because I do that. I will just basically blather and put something out there. And I'm a great experimenter and not all my experiments are well received by people. But that's part of my growth process and I have to say, based on experience, even when something is not well received and you get a lot of blowback, that memory of the thing you did and the blowback and everything else disappears because there are always other experimenters doing even stranger things there to take your place. So you're soon forgotten about. So I always say to people who want to do something creatively push the boundaries sometimes, just do it and just see what happens and if it turns out to be not a really good idea, then change it and do something different. But don't let fear, hold you back and as you continue growing and learning, you learn how to hone certain things or take additional risks. That's part of the creative process. So we're not for the Park Bugle. I don't think I would be able to write as much or as well as I do now and I of course branched out into other types of publications and writing, but I will always have a warm spot in my heart for that place and that newspaper, speaking of which.

Speaker 1:

So this week I was back in my old neighborhood because I had to go through St Anthony Park to get to this restaurant where we were going to be. And it was not easy and I'm laughing because it's funny now but I couldn't get out of the neighborhood because there was all this construction going on. Our joke in Minnesota is that we have two seasons winter and construction, and this was pretty much it. So every place I went to was a dead end, was a reroute, and I was trying so hard to get out of St Anthony Park so I could get to this restaurant and I thought how in the hell am I going to get out of here? So what literally happened was that nearly every detour forced me to end up near some of my old places, like my old apartment where I was living and where well, that's the setting for a lot of the story in Flower, in the River, places where I used to work interviews that I had done. I was literally being forced to go down memory lane, whether I wanted to or not. It's one thing to have it live inside my head as I was writing the book and rewriting the book, and so to see it again and to see some things had never changed and some things had changed, and to also just remember what happened when I was living there, remember the struggles of getting established, the heartbreaks, the wonderful things, and always and always there was this immense family of choice that I had built here, and the majority of the people that I was close to at that point lived either in the neighborhood or close by, and again, I grew as a person, as an artist. I had people around me who were challenging me in a good way, and so that was part of what happened last week. So it was especially poignant considering everything that's gone on with this book.

Speaker 1:

But back to the podcast. Whenever I published the podcast and later promoted, I always create the collage, the artwork that represents a particular episode, and since last week's episode was entitled Sketching an Unlived Life A Tapestry of Gratitude, history and Ancient Wisdom, I also read from the part of the book where Zara gets the photos of her aunt Martha, who was killed, and that final photo of Martha with all of her women friends dressed in men's clothing, martha's dangling a cigarette. And what's especially poignant about this photo is, on the back of the photo is Martha's actual handwriting, and it's the only piece of handwriting I have of hers, and probably the only piece of handwriting I will ever have of hers, and this is what she writes Say H, can you find me on here? Some picture is what I mean with love, mart, and that's all she wrote, literally. And so when I was creating the collage for this particular podcast episode, of course I had to include the photo of Martha and her women friends, and I also took a shot of the handwriting and blew it up so people could read that.

Speaker 1:

And as for the background of the photo, what I did was, instead of taking that usual image of the Eastland lying on its side in the Chicago River, I wanted people to see the morgue, and I did not put that photo in there for the sake of shock value. That's not what I did. However. It's a balance, because people need to see what happened, but the existing photo the actual photos, I should say, of the morgue, are pretty bleak and I didn't want them to look like that. So what I did was I took the one photo of the morgue and put it into a number of different tools and modified it and softened the images, and so what happened was that I created a watercolor version of this. So it's still what it is, but it's easier to take in.

Speaker 1:

I think it was even easier for me to take in and after all, that's one of my own who's in that photo somewhere? And if you just look at this background image quickly, you really can't tell what it is. You have to look at it closely to realize that there are all these bodies lying on the floor and then there are the people standing above them, probably the relatives, trying to identify them. And again, that was where my grandmother went to identify Martha. So when I put this little collage out with that photo of Martha and her writing, when she wrote, say, h, can you find me on here? Some picture is what I mean with love Mart it now carried a double meaning, and it wasn't my conscious intention to do that. However, of course, mart is in this photograph, but her essence, her being, is also in the image of the morgue behind the photo. The essence of her is in the haunting background. That's where her body was. That is where my grandmother had to go to identify her, and when I stepped back and took a good long look at the image I had created, I thought here it is again.

Speaker 1:

As with all of this project from its inception to its now, there are so many unseen hands that have seemed to guide me into directions that normally I wouldn't go and I swear I'm not conscious of them as they're happening. It's always in the aftermath that I realize what has happened. So way back when I was in the discovery phase of this research about my aunt and about the Eastland disaster, and probably why this project has so many supernatural elements included, because, along with the activity of doing research, things that I couldn't explain started happening, but I definitely wrote them down as they were happening because I knew I would talk myself out of them. So indeed, I have changed names and situations or merged things or created characters who did not exist in real life, such as LED Angelo, but I've often said to people that the supernatural aspects that I wrote about in the book did happen the way they happened and anything having to do with this definitely feels guided. Never sure who's always doing the guiding, but it's really yielded some wonderful things.

Speaker 1:

And, in retrospect, this process of putting everything together, from having the idea to creating something was also a process of learning to separate the wheat from the chaff and if people don't know that expression, it's an idiom that means distinguishing or discerning what's valuable or useful from things that aren't, as that don't add to a story, and again, that's one of those ongoing, continuing learning types of things and I think it's been. This has definitely been one of those situations, too, where honing one's ability to discern what is really relevant, what is needed for a situation, and choosing a focus like what to focus in on, and accepting the fact that when you choose a focus, when you focus on one area or one thing, other things are going to be out of focus, they are not going to be included, and that takes a fair amount of confidence and because it does create anxiety, because there's a way where I know in this type of writing, particularly when you're doing any kind of family history or genealogy, you want to include everything and you can include everything, but you may not be able to include everything in a single piece of writing. It may give birth to other pieces of writing or discussion, which is exactly what has happened here, both in my book and in the podcast, and I hope again that inspires you to think about your own work differently. So it's high time to get back into chapter six, which is called sketching and unlived life, because this is where things start to escalate and build into a momentum. What happens is, zara knows that she's a good writer, good enough writer, she's making a living doing this, and yet she just feels lost. And so she finally decides to bring in her friend Ellie DeAngelo into this thing that she's been holding inside her for such a long time. I'll continue reading.

Speaker 1:

She rang Ellie. Hey, can we get together to look at my article? Are you kidding? I love being needed, particularly when it's you who needs me. Give me ten minutes and I'll be over. Ellie's need to be useful, baffled Zara, who had no such inclination.

Speaker 1:

Zara gazed at Ellie, who was nearly face down in the article. When she finally looked up, ellie said this is your best one. Yet here's what I've always loved about your writing. Besides the fact you can actually write, you're very generous. You always let your subjects voice come through, you get out of the way and you let them shine, even in a case like this where your subject is dead. But what? Stop blathering, said Zara defensively. Don't bark at me.

Speaker 1:

You know what that ending is forced. It flows lyrically, wafting toward the clouds and suddenly crash lands. It's like you got scared and ran away. Said Ellie, sipping her tea. You know what? Go to Chicago to see Martha's world. At least see her grave. You must see her ending to write a real ending, capiche, otherwise you leave your reader hanging, just like you are. Nothing like a grave to bring one back to earth. Said Zara, I'm serious, martha's taking on mythic proportions and you can't live an isolated life with a ghost.

Speaker 1:

Go to Chicago. Chicago's at least an eight hour drive and I don't even know where Bethania Cemetery is. Said Zara, men's the article. Do the Wednesday after Labor Day. Well, labor Day weekend is coming up, so you'll have time to drive to Chicago. Stay with your aunt Pearl. You're having fun getting to know her and she probably would enjoy the company.

Speaker 1:

Not this time. I want to see Pearl, but not when I'm working on an article. When I'm writing, I'm not the most hospitable character on the planet, said Zara. True, you'd make a lousy first impression. Said Ellie, stay somewhere between the cities and Chicago to break up the drive.

Speaker 1:

How about La Crosse? It's not exactly halfway, but it's pretty with the river and old downtown area. School won't be in session, so it should be quiet. Yeah, that could work, said Zara. Can you come with me, elle? You know how bad I am at directions and Chicago. It scares the shit out of me. And what if the cemetery is in some God forsaken place? Uh-uh, chick, some other time, I promise, please. You need to fly solo for this one, don't worry, we'll get a detailed map. Besides, I think you're wrong.

Speaker 1:

She's not buried in Chicago proper, but in some burb. What's it called? Justice? Some name? Huh, said Zara. Justice, said Ellie, snapping her fingers. Of course you know where it is, said Zara.

Speaker 1:

Yes, bethany is next to Resurrection Cemetery, the home of Resurrection Mary. Who, said Zara? Haven't you heard of Chicago's most famous hitchhiking ghost? Said Ellie. No, said Zara. Why is she called Resurrection Mary? She's the ghostly hitchhiker who always wants to be driven to Resurrection Cemetery. A driver picks her up, goes down Archer Avenue past Resurrection Cemetery and just like that she vanishes. Lots of people have given her rides through the years. Well, anyway, resurrection Cemetery and Bethania share the same area. You'll be right at home. It's just one long cemetery, said Ellie. Um, do you believe it? Said Zara. What Resurrection Mary, I don't know, but let's say I have an open mind, said Ellie, walking over to the computer let's get online and make hotel reservations and we'll get directions to justice. I'll give Resurrection Mary your regards.

Speaker 1:

That's the end of that section, because I wanted to comment on it and savor it a bit, because what happens here is friendship at its best. What Ellie does is that she prods and pushes Zara to move forward to make this trip to Chicago, because otherwise she knows Zara is frozen. However, zara needs to know that whenever she's scared she can't rely on Ellie to get her through. Zara has to make this leg of the journey by herself. Ellie is very firm about that and Ellie does promise to be there for Zara in the future as this thing evolves. And Zara trusts Ellie enough to know that Ellie is always true to her word. But Ellie knows that Zara has to go solo and that is a really good friend because she's someone who knows when to step back and let a person figure things out for themselves. And you also have to have a level of security in the friendship to trust that, as your friend goes off and explores new things, that the friendship will be able to continue as each person grows. Of course, that doesn't always happen, but that's part of this particular friendship that they each trust one another.

Speaker 1:

Ellie D'Angelo is one of those characters who is always into the esoteric, the metaphysical, the supernatural, and Ellie is much more into this than Zara is at this juncture of the storytelling. This is kind of ironic, because Zara did grow up surrounded by relatives who were into the magical arts, into this esoteric stuff. However, as she's gotten older, she's deliberately distanced herself from that part of her heritage and, again ironically, ellie is the one that brings Zara back to her own history. And in summary, as it were, this is the fun part for me of this story, because it is indeed where Zara's own past, her personal history, as well as her ancestral past, meets her family of choice, and that is embodied by Ellie. And as they come together, in a sense, a new hybrid, a new relationship is beginning to be formed as each woman is drawn into the deeper parts of their respective histories. But before I conclude this podcast, would you like to learn more about Resurrection Mary? She is a real ghost. Those terms seem contradictory, but let's just go with that. So Resurrection Mary is one of Chicago's most famous and enduring ghost stories.

Speaker 1:

The legend of Resurrection Mary revolves around the ghost of a young woman who is said to haunt the Resurrection Cemetery on Archer Avenue in Justice, illinois, which is a suburb of Chicago, and indeed Bethania Cemetery, where my Aunt Martha and so many other family members and some Eastland victims are buried. It shares the same ground with Resurrection Cemetery. If you ever get a chance to see this area, it is gorgeous, it's just, it's very idyllic. And so back to Old Resurrection Mary. Here Resurrection Mary is described as a beautiful young woman in a white gown or a party dress and she's seen hitchhiking along Archer Avenue or dancing at local dance halls. And some encounters with her have been really detailed, with witnesses claiming to have given her a ride in their car. And as always, the story takes on a spooky turn when Mary asks to be dropped off at Resurrection Cemetery, because what young woman in a party dress would not want to be dropped off at Resurrection Cemetery in the middle of the night? And when the driver reaches the cemetery gates, mary vanishes from the car.

Speaker 1:

Over the years there have been numerous reported sightings of Resurrection Mary and many claim to have had eerie encounters with her. These sightings often happen late at night and usually involve drivers passing by the cemetery or its vicinity. And as is often the case with these types of story, mary's actual origins story is kind of vague. Some believe it is based on a real person who may or may not have died tragically in the area in the early 20th century. Others think that it is purely a product of urban legend and ghost lore. Regardless, resurrection Mary remains an intriguing and enduring part of Chicago's supernatural folklore. Many people continue to share their stories of encountering her ghostly presence, making her a beloved and spooky figure in local ghost stories and urban legends.

Speaker 1:

Now, I have been to this location many, many, many times throughout the last 25 years or so and I've never met Resurrection Mary on my journeys and I cannot imagine, given what I know about my Aunt Martha, that she would allow herself to be upstaged by somebody like this. Just saying so, maybe that's part of the reason, I don't know. If you do a search on Resurrection Mary, you'll find a lot of information about her. I think I first learned about her when I realized that my own story of this research was taking on kind of a supernatural turn and I thought maybe there's more to Chicago's spooky history than I realized because I, honestly, had never investigated that. And then you come across this story, and the fact that it happened so close to Bethania, where Martha's buried, made it extra interesting for me. So that is the story of Resurrection Mary.

Speaker 1:

Next week, tune in and we'll see what happens. I have some surprises that haven't yet come to fruition, but fingers crossed that they will. And that's next week. Take care, have a good week. Hey, that's it for this episode and thanks for coming along for the ride. Please subscribe or follow so you can keep up with all the episodes. For more information, please go to my website, that's wwwflowerintherivercom. I hope you'll consider buying my book, available now as audiobook, ebook, paperback and hardcover, because I owe people money and I'm just kidding about that. The one thing I'm not kidding about is that this podcast and my book are dedicated to the memory of the 844 who died on the Eastland. Goodbye for now.

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Natalie Zett

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