Austin's Story; Finding Light and Trusting God through Health Struggles

Ever wondered how one might find light in the darkest of times? Today's episode, featuring an incredibly resilient guest, Austin, might just give you an answer. Austin shares the harrowing tale of his struggle with severe health issues that hit him only three weeks into his mission, leading to hospitalization and even a kidney transplant. 

As we travel with Austin through this emotional journey, we also discuss the vital aspect of acknowledging our struggles and turning to Jesus Christ in times of need. Austin's story is an inspiring testament to steadfast faith and the power of God's plan - even when everything seems to be going against us. Hear how, despite the immense physical and mental strain, Austin managed to maintain his trust in God and seek light in the darkest corners.

In the concluding segment, take a heartening deep dive into the world of gratitude, as we talk about finding joy and peace in the smallest of things, even in times of adversity. Let Austin's journey inspire you to develop a childlike trust in God and let God's work in the smallest and simplest ways light up your world. Finally, we talk about finding peace in difficult times and the importance of remembering Jesus Christ. Join our enlightening journey and don't forget to check out our Instagram page at remember podcast for more exciting content!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:24

Hey everyone, welcome back to the Remember Podcast. I'm your host, alan Butler, and I've joined with my amazing co-host.

Speaker 2: 0:30

Michaela, I'm here ready to get going on the second episode of the second season. We're so excited Today we have Austin with us and he messaged us wanting to share his experiences with some health problems and being on the mission field and how that really really changed him and also strengthened him through those hard times. We're really excited to have him on and hopefully help those who may have gone through similar things. Austin, let's turn the time over to you.

Speaker 3: 1:02

Hey all Again. Thanks so much for having me on. Let's see. Like you said, michaela, my biggest interest in coming on is just to try and help other people. I've been through a little bit of a difficult experience and so I'm sure there are other people out there too, and my hope and overall goals to just let them know that they're not alone in this process and in their journey and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Speaker 3: 1:33

My journey started in the MTC. I always called to Montreal, canada, french speaking and all growing up my parents had really stressed the importance of a mission and felt like I was pretty prepared, prepared a lot my senior year of high school and got to the MTC and things were going really well. I felt like I fit in really well with my district, my companion and whatnot and just a great group of elders and our instructors and everything. Probably three weeks into the MTC, when I came home, we had the gym like the last whatever section of the day or whatever, and I started peeing blood. I was kind of freaked out by that. It's not really a natural thing, and so my companion picked up the phone and there's like a red emergency phone, or at least there used to be, and they called the whatever the emergency. That I remember like, hey, this kid's peeing blood, we don't know what to do. And they're like, oh, just take some Tylenol and come see us in the morning and I'm like, really, that's all. I got a blessing and pounded probably like four or five water bottles, that kind of all that the elders bought me, and so we went and the next morning went and got a CT scan to try and figure out what was going on.

Speaker 3: 3:08

And there's kind of a couple mishaps there. The doctor who was doing it wasn't inside the MTC, right, it was someone outside in Provo. But they used this contrast stuff while they do the imaging so that they can kind of see where the stone is in your body. And the needle that the doctor used was a little bit too big and so he punctured my vein and so instead of the contrast like going into my vein, it went into my arm, so my arm had swelled up. My forearm it was super big.

Speaker 3: 3:47

Like the first doctor. He was kind of the assistant, like saw what he did and goes, oh no, and like runs out of the room and so I'm sitting there alone, my companion's not in there and I just remember saying a prayer. I'm like only father, please help me not freak out, like my arm is massive. The other doctor kind of the one that was more professional came in and got a little bit mad at his assistant like in front of me, kind of scolded him and they tried to take the die out of my arm and they got kind of blood all over my tie, my shirt, and so they're just like, wow, they threw a patch over the hole and they were just like you know, just it'll go down and gave me the report to give to the doctor and they're like sorry about your arm and gave me like some chocolates. I think they gave me my campaign, some chocolates and said, all right, go back.

Speaker 3: 4:49

So we go back and turns out I had a couple kidney stones and so I was in quite a bit of pain. So they put me on some pretty strong pain medication for that. The problem was it makes you really loopy, so the whole time we're in the MTC I'm trying to learn French, being all loopy and stuff and so we tried to pass the kidney stone for a couple weeks and nothing was happening. My companion he was really kind of everyone in my district was really supportive of me and we're really patient with you, know. I mean I had to go to the bathroom a lot right, trying to pee out this kidney stone, but we couldn't get anything, and so we went in for surgery and it was supposed to be just kind of like an in and out.

Speaker 3: 5:48

One day thing the doctor again from my understanding of the report he ruptured my ureter. So the ureter is the tube that connects your bladder to your kidney, and so my kidney stone was caught in the ureter. There was a blockage, and so when he went he overdilated the ureter. But so when I came out of the surgery he's like, hey, like something wrong happened and I'm super loopy. So he's telling all this to my companion. And my companion is like, yeah, okay, like whatever. And they're like, well, we're going to keep him overnight.

Speaker 3: 6:31

And so a shuttle comes to pick up my companion and I'm all alone in this hospital room in Provo. And so I tell my nurse I'm like they took my missionary badge and I was terrified that like I'd been released. And so I finally got the hospital phone and I had like somewhere on me I had the emergency number for the MTC. So I call the MTC and I'm like, hey, you guys freaking left me here, like, like, where's my companion? Like what is going?

Speaker 3: 7:01

I was just so confused and you know there's really no one there to kind of like explain the process of what was going on and what was happening. And the MTC was like, hey, kid, like you know you shouldn't be prank calling us, like this isn't very cool. And they hung up and I was like what the heck? And so, you know, I punched the number back in and I'm like, look, my name's Austin Neeterhouser. Like I'm supposed to be going to Montreal, canada. You know, you guys are freaking, left me here, like I need some help. I don't know what's going on. I'm super confused and I got hung up again and so I call them back a third time. I was like, look, this is, this is my instructor's name. Like I know you think I'm prank calling, just go get him on the phone. And like I promise you I'm not lying.

Speaker 3: 7:50

So they get my instructor on the phone and I'm like, hey, like Fred, you know I want to protect his name. But I was like, hey, you know I'm in this hospital, like I need some frigging help. And so that whole night it was really hard. I was just continued to kind of pee blood and stuff, and it was just a really lonely night. And the next morning my like the district president or whatever, came over and he's like, oh yeah, you know, we'll take care of it. And it was a Saturday and so he was like, yeah, you know, we can just Medicaid him Like we'll figure it out at the MTC. And that night at like probably midnight, like my parents showed up to the hospital and I was like what do you got I?

Speaker 3: 8:38

was pissed. I was like what are?

Speaker 3: 8:40

you doing here, like you're not supposed to be here. And you know I think they called him because of, you know, the emergency contact that was there emergency contact, and so they got there and were able to kind of help me throughout the night. You know I don't remember everything about that and I just remember it was really long and you know I remember crying there with my dad and just being like this is not what I signed up for. You know I'm not supposed to have a kidney stone. You know I eat good I.

Speaker 3: 9:10

You know, before I left I didn't play a whole lot but you know I was on the football team and I wrestled a little bit and I was a big time skier and you know I was pretty healthy and so I was really disappointed about some things that were going on. So we get back to the MTC and you know things continue to not kind of go my way and you know they kind of ship off my kind of my district and the doctor at the MTC. So he put a stint into my ureter to keep the ureter open and he tied a string to the end of that ureter and ran it through my urethra and out. You know where I go to the bathroom and the thought process with that was, you know when you're ready to just pull it out, and you know that that ended up causing a pretty big infection. So you know, I was just kind of deteriorating at the MTC and they didn't really. You know, they put me in like another class and they're like we don't really know what to do with them.

Speaker 3: 10:09

And so you know they're like we're just going to send you home, you get better and then go to the MTC. I was really mad about that, I don't want to go home, like I was really ashamed and guilt with that, and so turned out to be a blessing I went home and then that next Sunday I went septic from that string and so we blissed the hospital Like I'm in an ambulance. They pumped me full of antibiotics. I was there probably a week, no, probably longer, probably about two weeks up here in the hospital in Layton, utah. And you know we go back home and we're trying to do physical therapy and everything, because I was pretty much just bedridden and I was trying so hard. I was like man, if I can just get to Canada, you know everything's going to be better if I can just make it to Montreal. And so you know we there was a big, long checklist of you have to do this before you can get to Canada. And so it's like be able to walk a mile and do this and that. And so you know, every day I'd wake up and you know, try to train for that. And you know I was so excited we finally made it. I finally made it to Montreal and things were going pretty good.

Speaker 3: 11:27

I was in a little town called Grandby, I was at my companions and stuff, and you know was there probably about a month, month and a half, just getting to know the area and know the language and I start peeing blood again. I'm like oh no. And this time when I was peeing blood, I was having like a kidney spasm along with peeing blood and I was like this is not good. So I call the president and I was like hey, like this is what's happening. And he's like it's fine, like it's no big deal. We have like elders in this mission with kidney problems, like we just set up with a hospital. So every day we would, we would wake up for about a week like companion and I, and we would go to a different hospital and get a test done. So we woke up, we drove, we'd get a test done, we'd come back and we did that for a week and they just they couldn't find anything. And you know, finally, you know the mission president and his wife. You know great people, brothers and sisters, patrick, they, they were able to, you know, get permission for me to leave Montreal and go to Vermont to get some other testing done.

Speaker 3: 12:40

There was a lot of people in Montreal that not all of them, but some of them that wouldn't see me because I'm not Canadian, and so with the universal healthcare they were like, yeah, you know, I don't care how much pain you're in, like we're not seeing you, and so you know, all this time like I'm having these kidney spasms, like in the middle of lessons and stuff, and I'm like this is not good. I was losing a lot of weight. So we get to Vermont and they run some tests and they were just like, yeah, you know, we don't know something's wrong with your kidney, we don't know what, but you know your kidney function is really low. You still got some kidney stones that are embedded in your kidney. You know, we don't know why your kidneys kind of spasming like this, like you need some help. And on my way home they were.

Speaker 3: 13:28

There were some people, not my companion, but there were some. There were some people who were assigned to take me, who were from the mission office, who I don't know like accused me of faking and they were like oh, elder, you're just doing this to get attention from the president and I'm like dude, I'm peeing blood, like I can't stand, it's hard to walk. And they're like, yeah, you're just, you know you're faking, like we know you're faking. So I get home, I'm totally demoralized. You know my campaign is like what's going to happen to you and I'm like I have no idea. And I wake up the next morning and my president's like hey, you're getting on a plane, you're going home. It's like, oh my gosh.

Speaker 3: 14:13

And so that plane ride you know you always think coming home from your mission like it's this big grand thing and you know it's a big happy time. And you know I was just that plane ride home again, price. You know it's pretty lonely. And we get home, you know, like three o'clock in the morning, we get released at six and then we spend the next like week at the University of Utah hospital, like their intensive care unit, and so we're there and they're running all these tasks and trying to figure out what the problem is. And they put another stint in and you know things just kept getting worse and worse. Like my kidney stopped functioning, my stomach closed off like stop functioning. My parents, you know, bless their heart. You know thought that I had like a eating disorder. They're like he can't eat anything and I'm like it's not that I don't want to eat, I can't.

Speaker 3: 15:16

And you know, they did other tasks and they're like, yeah, his stomach doesn't function anymore, and so you know the infection had spread to my you know my liver function, but it was down, my gallbladder was shattered, my kidneys weren't functioning well and I couldn't do anything. Like I remember the stake president would come over to my house and be like so what do you do all day? And I'm like I just sit here and that's all I can really do. You know, I wouldn't leave the house except I try to go to church and I lost kind of. So when I left for my mission I was about 140, 140, 145 and I was down to about 103 pounds. So you know I was pretty skinny and not looking very good and couldn't do anything.

Speaker 3: 16:03

And you know they continue to run tests at the UN stuff and they told my parents. You know they luckily they didn't tell me this but they told my parents like hey, you know, you should probably have a gravesite picked out because he's probably not going to make it. And you know we were trying to look into, you know, kidney transplants and what that might look like and kind of the process there. And they decided they were like you know, let's do this auto kidney transplant. And I'm like what the heck is that? They're like it's kind of this new thing, like you'd be like the 22nd person in the world to have it done, and so what they do is they take out your kidney and they shave off everything that's infected and then they shave off all the nerves attached to your kidney and they put it on top of your bladder up in front. So at the time when I had the surgery, like the kidney like stuck out of my you know kind of abdomen, and I was like what the heck? Like I do not want to do this, and I was like you know, it's the 22nd or 23rd person in the world to have the surgery done. And there was this kid named Dan Page, who he's also from Caysville and he had the exact same surgery on himself twice, like three or four years ago, and he was able to come over before the surgery and kind of prep me on. You know, this is the incision they're going to make and this is what your stomach is going to look like and you know this is the recovery and you're going to get an epidural and all these things. And so he went in, for the surgery itself is about 10 hours and they didn't really know they're like, hey, you know he might not even make it out of surgery. You know he's, I think at that point I was up at like 105 and they were just like we don't know, like this is this whole thing's a risk. And I was like, well, it's better than what I'm doing now because I like I can't overshadow. I literally wasn't doing anything Like when I went to church and stuff. I took a cushion from our couch because even like the padded chair in the chapel was just like it's too painful on my, on my butt. So we did the transplant. It was really good, everything worked out. They weren't able to get the gallbladder so I had to go back in a couple months and get that removed. You know the infection started to go away.

Speaker 3: 18:32

The recovery for the kidney transplant is pretty big. You know I had you know kind of same thing. I couldn't move very well still right after. And you know I remember my mom. You know she would have to come in the middle of the night and like turn me so that I didn't get like bed sores or anything Like that.

Speaker 3: 18:51

And you know the recovery time for it fully is about a year. It's about, you know, probably like three to four months where I just couldn't move without really any pain. The whole time I'm just on pain meds and you know loopy for you know six months, you know the whole time waiting for the transplant and waiting for the test, like this whole time I'm just on, you know, laura tab and, and you know it was just as dark, I think, for me. You know as hellish as life could get and every day, like I was ready to give up, like I said a prayer every day like just let me die Because this is not worth it. You know I mean what's the point? I'm going to get better to do what. You know what I mean to stay here in bed. You know this is. You know I question all the time God, this is really your plan, this is.

Speaker 3: 19:51

You know I was doing what you wanted, I was serving a mission and you let this happen to me and you know recovery continued and you know I was really worried about kind of what the public would think. You know my, the community and my ward especially, and I couldn't see it at the time. You know I had a lot of kind of built up anger and resentment for a lot of things and you know my ward was awesome, though you know they would try to come by and see me and I wouldn't really want to see anyone, and I had great friends in the ward who same thing would come over and my companions would, you know, check up on me with with emails and stuff. And so, you know, things just very slowly got better and better and, you know, eventually I was able to To, you know, heal up good enough. And you know, we started looking at one of my friends, matt, he, he was on his mission and he was like hey, you know, I'm going down to snow college. Do you want to come with me? And I remember my mom came into kind of our sick room upstairs and she said hey, you know, I know we've talked about what the future looks like. You know what about going to snow college? Where the heck is that? And so, you know, once that kind of happened it was, you know I at least had a goal, you know, let's get ready to go to college in August, and so that was about in probably May. And so, you know, we started to walk, learn to walk again and more physical therapy, and started to go into counseling.

Speaker 3: 21:25

You know there's a lot of kind of trauma with that that was associated and you know my mental health it kind of deteriorated and I had lost hope. And I think you know we always talk about in the church how our testimonies are. You know, seeds and if planted they would grow. And you know I like to think at that point my testimony was kind of just roots. You know, I knew that God had a plan. This wasn't, you know, I couldn't believe this was it, but this was apparently his plan and I knew that he loved all children of men and you know somehow that includes me.

Speaker 3: 21:59

You know, and I was feeling unworthy about coming home and what should I do? And you know I've got to wait all this recovery time and you know I have to get checked by the University of Utah every couple months, you know, to make sure my kidney is okay and you know what it's looking like and that my year is okay. You know they ended up. So your, your year are typically, I think, is anywhere from 812 centimeters long. That tube that connects the kidney to the bladder and mine. What they had to reconstruct mine, so mine's only, I think it's only like one, one centimeter now. So it's really small. And you know it was. It was just a really hellish time. But you know, I hope I can say that on here but it yeah, it was a tough time but I'm just so grateful that I was able to make it out. And you know, I still I tell my wife I can't believe you know the place where I am now. It's incredible.

Speaker 1: 22:58

So that's awesome. That's an amazing story. Austin, thank you so much for coming on and sharing that. I can only imagine just how deep into a dark place you would have gone, and especially to get so exhausted and become so miserable that you literally ask God to let you die. I think that's what you said, right? Yeah, that's crazy. How has the Lord, how has he played a hand? And through all of that experience that you just shared with us, yeah, I think his hands in it has to be.

Speaker 3: 23:52

And still, to this day, I thank him because in my eyes it's a miracle. I tell my wife all the time I'm not supposed to be here, so let's go whatever it is. And yeah, he's huge hand. We talk all the time. One of my favorite primary hands is when they say Jesus is a God of miracles. They sing that song and absolutely, his hands were definitely in this situation. At the time I couldn't see him. Like I said, I was in a pretty dark place. But looking back, it was all part of his plan. And was it the plan that I would have picked for myself? Absolutely not, but it's the plan. That. She's kind of how it went.

Speaker 1: 25:00

I think there's a reason why God doesn't let us pick the plan.

Speaker 2: 25:06

Yeah, absolutely, that's awesome, I just think it's I don't know, just seeing it in this perspective, I don't know. I think it's kind of cool how again you plan on going a mission and that desire was there, and I know the Lord was so grateful for you to do that. But he knew that you know, like, oh, that's like the sacrifice that you gave to him and even sacrificing your health, but also for him to be able to transform you in that way, if that makes sense, like either way, like this was his plan for you, but the fact that you started with that desire to still serve him and you know, even though it was such a dark place, like he the whole time was transforming you and converting you in a way, like it was your own conversion, like you had to go through this and even though you didn't go and finish like your mission, you still were there and the people that you still taught, like, and even you're probably such a great example to a lot of people, and this I don't know I just think like there was a reason for you to go on the mission and for you to come home and to go through all that, and I bet you've seen it in your life, like how it's helped you probably even more than a mission probably would have. And I think we I mean we all have our own moments. We all have those struggles that really change our perspective. If we allow God to change it, like allow God to transform us and the fact that you mentioned that you know he was like the root, like the things that and I totally agree with that Like I have gone through moments where I like completely doubt everything that I know, or like I'm so confused or get into that super dark place and you just you have to rely on the almost, like the primary things, like what you learn in primary and the things that you do know and allow that to replant that seed.

Speaker 2: 27:18

You know just like there's some flowers like even so, like green onions, like you know, like how you have those, like you can use them, but you can also take the bottoms of them, put them in water and they regrow. So I just think like there's flowers that do that too. We had a flower in our garden when I grew up and we call it the Easter flower because every Easter it would come up like on the spot, like that weekend it would bloom, and so, even though you go through hard things. Even though you may like, your flower may die.

Speaker 2: 27:54

You know, we have those moments when we have, like our big test moments and we feel amazing but the flower will end up probably dying. But then it will always come back, like if you try and you just fall back on the things that you know, and God will reach his hand out into that water when you feel like you're drowning. But the only way that you can get back up if you grab it and return. And so I think it's so inspiring that the fact that, even though your life completely changed like flipped, and it was the hardest moment, I can just tell that it was such a huge blessing in your life and the fact that you're wanting to share it to others and that's just a. And living your life, you know, as a disciple is the best way you can be a missionary. The best way every day is just to serve him and give all the goodness like give back to him and love him. That's kind of what we talked about in the past episode is loving and that's the best thing we can do.

Speaker 3: 28:58

Yeah, yeah, absolutely there's. You know, I think there's a lot of lessons learned and you know, the important part is that you know kind of share those a little bit.

Speaker 1: 29:09

Definitely, I wanted to share scripture, is that okay?

Speaker 3: 29:14

No, go for it, man Awesome.

Speaker 1: 29:16

So this is one of my favorites. It's I call it the spiritual slurpee. It's almost 7-eleven, okay, 11 and 12, and I'm going to kind of like bounce through the verses a little bit, but this is what I'd like to read. It says and he shall go forth suffering, pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind, and this that the word might be fulfilled, which says he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people, that his bowels may be filled with mercy according to the flesh, that he may know, according to the flesh, how to sucker his people according to their infirmities.

Speaker 1: 29:59

I love that verse, and especially when talking about what we've, what we've been talking about. We all suffer in one way, shape or form, and that suffering is constant, yeah, but like it almost seems like it never goes away, like it's just like it's always there, just looming in the back of your head or something's just like constantly happening against you. Yeah, satan is just constantly working against us. And I love that scripture because you know our savior Jesus Christ, he, he's been through all of that. You know he was tempted by by Satan when he was tempted with the bread, when he was fasted for 40 days. He, he was beaten and abused and tortured and then crucified.

Speaker 1: 30:56

But I think the greatest suffering, which is what he, what he talked about in doctrine and covenants I can't think of the specific verse off the top of my head, but he said this is what he recounts of his experience in the Garden of Gethsemane you know such suffering that even the greatest of all who is God, should shrink. And you know that's. That's what the Savior did when he entered into the Garden of Gethsemane. He fell upon his knees and he begged God to take that cup from him. He should not have to partake, but I love you. Know the Savior, because he said, nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done. Yeah, he's been through all of this pain, all of the suffering, and he knows each and every one of us because he he's experienced that same pain.

Speaker 1: 31:57

Yeah each and every One of us. We go through these Garden of Gethsemane's, our own Gethsemane moment, and, and I think you know, maybe that was it for you and maybe maybe you have a few more, I don't know, I think. I think we have a habit of experiencing more than one, but yeah, but it's so wonderful to know that our Savior is with us every step of the way. And I just wanted to make another comment that this is probably the second Experimental surgery story that we've had on the story or on the podcast.

Speaker 2: 32:38

My father went through something very similar and he's one of the first episodes that we've it's called over fear, brian's story.

Speaker 2: 32:46

So if you want to give a listen to that. It's pretty long. But experienced a lot of similar things. He had a blood clot in his brain and it was life or death for him too, and going to a surgery that They've only experienced it on a few people, so very similar and I was run about that. So thanks for running again. But yeah, my dad went through similar things and his testimony is so powerful and you yours story is very similar, but again so powerful and just. It's so cool to see the miracles that God Can work in our lives and I kind of want to go ahead and hand in what you're saying, gali, and about his like sacrifice and the blood and tears and everything. I was reminded of a John conference talk and it's called being being perfected in him by Elder Paul v Johnson.

Speaker 2: 33:46

And it was in October 2022. So pretty recently. But he talked about his grandson who had a plastic and mean, what is it called? And Me, me, I don't know. Wait, hold on Anemia okay, a plastic anemia and he basically had to get a Blood transfusion, bone marrow, like all that stuff he had to get, but basically he needed that in order to survive.

Speaker 2: 34:16

Like it was life or death for him, basically, and it was a miracle because his brother, his brother's blood, literally saved him his life by doing that transfusion and helping him get that bone marrow back into his body. And and he goes on and talks about how, in our lives like he referenced his grandson and how he was not able to save himself, like God had to save him, the doctors, like people who knew these things had to had to help him in order to be safe. Just like in your experience, like you had to do some crazy Surgery and then those doctors at the beginning, oh my gosh, I don't know who they are, but he screwed you over from the beginning. But yeah, but he just talked about how, you know, he couldn't go in and do the surgery on himself. He couldn't go in and just put Like he needed someone else's blood in order to be perfected and to be healed, and Relate that to our lives, just like what Dallin was saying Christ Blood, his, the fact that he shed his blood and performed the atonement for us as, as you know, can be perfected and be healed again.

Speaker 2: 35:30

And so just relate that to your life and Everyone's like struggles and everything like we need to remember how we can really be perfected and to humble ourselves, not be stubborn, and realize that you know, sometimes we need professional help, sometimes we need doctors, sometimes we need friends, but more importantly, we need God to really really heal us and and Help us get there to our divine goal that he Prepared for us. Like we have our plan, but he has a better plan. So I just I was reminded by that and I it's a wonderful talk and it just shows like that we're not, we're really not here to be alone and we can't, we physically cannot Get, be saved alone, basically.

Speaker 1: 36:22

So yeah, we all need Jesus we need Jesus, you need Yep, but yeah yeah, there was one other thing that I thought about talking about, but I Quite remember what it was. Um, I, oh yeah, it was when you, when you mentioned, you kind of made the joke that you said to or you say it to your wife very often is like I'm not even supposed to be here, like let's go do this. Yeah, I think that's a wonderful gift.

Speaker 3: 37:04

Yeah, absolutely. I think you know, before the six, like I said, there's so many lessons and you know I could be here for hours talking about it. But you know, it's just. I think before all this started, I was kind of took maybe myself, maybe life a little bit too seriously. And you know, after this, it's just, you know, I think I have a different, definitely a different outlook on life, but just kind of this, like almost like this childhood, like Glee, you know just even about the little things and you know things like you know being able to shower on your own and standing up, and you know being able to eat food and you know not having to worry about feeding tubes and things like that, and so, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 37:51

Yeah, it's like you had a second chance at life, so cool. Like you were so reliant on these things to keep you going.

Speaker 3: 38:01

Yeah, and.

Speaker 2: 38:01

I think that you could finally get to the point where you can do these things again on your own and slowly get there. It's just like it's so cool, like it's so awesome and I bet your perspective on life who totally changed. And I think we all need that little weed. Everyone needs to have a perspective change and sometimes those struggles are really what gets us there and become more grateful for the little things.

Speaker 3: 38:29

Absolutely Yep, and I think that's about 100%. So, yeah, I'm just you know, continue to just say that you know God is so good, you know that's kind of the overall kind of overarching theme I think is is just how great you know and how you know how much he loves his children.

Speaker 1: 38:52

Yeah, I think everyone should have that childlike mentality of not childish. There's definitely a big difference. Childlike mentality of looking at the world with wonder with amazing. Because, it's when you look at the world with like so much wonder and curiosity you can see the miracles as they, as they happen. Yeah, and it's beautiful, it really is.

Speaker 2: 39:22

And well, that's like God tells us to be be like a child and be humble, meek, submissive, lowly heart. You know, be all those, gain those attributes, be like a child and turn to him and ask him the questions, but also find joy, and you know, it's just ah, it's just so exciting, like I'm getting excited just thinking about it. I want to you like a little differently sometimes and you know, I think it's just very, very important, especially when you are going through hard times, just to people say, look for the good, but a lot of the time that's what can get you through too. There's still little things, really, and it reminds me I don't know if I've mentioned this before on an episode, but one time I was going through a really really hard time and I prayed and prayed and, like you know, struggling a lot, and one night I fell asleep and I had a dream that I was just walking alone in the woods but it was super dark and all of a sudden I saw a firefly and then I started.

Speaker 2: 40:27

Then I like obviously caught my attention and so I started walking and following the firefly and then, one by one, there became more and more, to the point where there was a lot of fireflies, the point where it became so bright and I remember waking up and being like what the heck? Like that was so weird, like what is it? But it felt so real and I knew that it was a message from God and he was telling me to look for the little things, to look for his light. It may be a little, maybe a glimmer, but if you start noticing the light, it'll get bigger and bigger.

Speaker 2: 41:09

And soon enough you will be filled with joy again and you will be able to recognize that you can get through the struggle, but only through him. And so I don't know, I think it's just so, I don't know. It's such an exciting and it brings me hope to feel and view the world like that. Like you know, like today I got, I went and to work, but I also made a super yummy dinner and I don't know just I, you know, drove around, I got to drive around and talk to my mom on the phone. Like those little things, they can really bring joy, even though your days might be mediocre.

Speaker 2: 41:48

It's like the little things you know.

Speaker 3: 41:51

Yep, little things can make a big difference, so yeah, line upon line, precept upon precept.

Speaker 1: 41:57

Here a little, there a little. God works in small and simple ways. I'm sure you experienced that, as like each and every day, like over the course of that year, that you're healing, like just you got a little bit better, but I'm sure it was hard for you to notice sometimes.

Speaker 3: 42:14

Yeah, in those really dark days, you know we just I say we because you know I really couldn't have done anything, you know without you know one, my heavenly father, but also my earthly parents, you know what I mean. They kind of, you know, just kept me going. You know, like I said, you know, with making sure you know that I have things, and you know feeding me little bits of, you know, rice or shit or whatever it is. But you know, in the little days or sorry, speaking of little things, you know when, when the days got really hard, you know we, you know we just focused on. You know we took it literally hour by hour. You know this hour, okay, you know, we're just going to focus on this, we're just going to focus on this, and then you know, who knows what's going to happen the next hour. We'll worry about that when it gets here. Right now we're just going to focus on this hour. So small things, man.

Speaker 1: 43:11

Small things. There's so many, so many lessons that like and you mentioned that a couple of times already so many lessons we could pull from your story. So thank you, yeah, thank you so much for coming on and sharing that with us. I'm sure many people will be blessed and strengthened today because of it. We're getting pretty long, or a good bit past the 45 minute mark.

Speaker 3: 43:34

I kind of talk my bad.

Speaker 1: 43:39

No, we're talking.

Speaker 2: 43:41

It was such a wonderful discussion. Who cares about the time? I just want to end on this scripture, though, but you last shared 3513, verse 34. Take therefore no thought for the tomorrow, for the moral should take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient is the day unto the evil thereof. So just think of today. Sometimes it's just one step at a time, one day at a time, one hour, one minute at a time, but God already has tomorrow handled. So just trust in Him for today and go to sleep. Give it to God, and tomorrow's a new day.

Speaker 1: 44:21

So yeah, consider the lilies. Yeah, they grow. Yeah. Hey, yeah, thank you so much. Yeah, oh, what was that?

Speaker 3: 44:33

I said thanks so much for having me on. I really appreciate it.

Speaker 1: 44:37

Yeah, this has been truly, truly wonderful and for our wonderful listeners, you guys can Well. Thank you for joining us, thank you for listening to the entire episode, and you guys make sure to check out our Instagram. If you haven't yet, it's at rememberpodcast and we've got some big things coming with this with this new season. So thank you guys for listening and remember him. Thank you, thank you, thank you.