Shelby's Story; Confronting an Eating Disorder through Divine Love

Can you imagine the strength it takes to not only overcome a life-altering eating disorder, but also to share your journey with the world? Our guest Shelby is the embodiment of this strength. After battling anorexia during her high school years, Shelby embarked on a journey of recovery, self-discovery, and profound faith. This episode is a testament to her resilience and will inspire anyone facing their own battles, as she reveals how she found solace in her faith and leveraged it to overcome her trials.

Throughout our conversation, we delve into the nuances of harmful behavior recognition, the power of vulnerability, and the profound change that can stem from it. Shelby's story illuminates the transformation that can occur when one is brave enough to confront their struggles head-on. We also discuss how her faith in God provided not only a source of support but also a path to self-love and acceptance. This episode is a deep dive into how faith can be a powerful ally in navigating life's toughest obstacles.

As we conclude, we explore more on seeking joy amidst life's adversities and the importance of reaching out for help. We reflect on the concept of body respect, emphasizing that our bodies are gifts from God. Shelby's insights are invaluable, providing a firsthand account on body acceptance, faith, strength, and the transformative power of both scriptures and personal trials. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking inspiration and understanding on overcoming adversity. Tune in for an enriching conversation about self-love, faith, and resilience.

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:23

Hey everybody, welcome back to the Remember Podcast. I'm your host, Dalyne Butler, and I've joined with my amazing co-host for the second time this year. What's up, Tresden? Hey, what's?

Speaker 2: 0:34

up. I'm back for the second time this year, hopefully a lot more this year, in case something completely crazy and drastic happens. But hey, everybody, it's awesome, great to be back again and yeah, super excited, super pumped for this episode and all the ones in the future of Aston. You know, any workers of time space that we can be dealing with, so Well said.

Speaker 1: 0:54

Well said, I'm Tresden and we have an amazing guest with us today. We have Shelby with us, and Shelby's a really awesome individual. She's living in Provo right now and she's going to school into marketing. And the time is yours, shelby.

Speaker 3: 1:10

Perfect, thank you. Yeah, but I'm Shelby Sanders. I'm so excited to be on the podcast today. I wanted to share a little bit about my story with an eating disorder and how that specific challenge was able to help me grow closer to my savior, jesus Christ.

Speaker 3: 1:32

But I guess I'll just kind of start from like the beginning of how it all started. Growing up, I was always very aware of kind of how my body looked and I was always looking in the mirror and just kind of hyper aware of that. And I remember in third grade I started to become super like self conscious about myself and how I looked and I was a dancer. So I was constantly in front of like the mirror and like ballet class, surrounded by a lot of different girls and and leotards, and it kind of just mixed together to make me feel very insecure about myself. I guess you could say and this went on for years of me just feeling very insecure and dissatisfied with my body. And in about junior high it kind of took a turn for the worse. It became a very, very big problem in my life. I remember I was in ninth grade and I was kind of just done feeling hopeless and I was done feeling sad about myself and like how I looked. And that's when I decided that I was going to restrict my calories and restrict my food intake in general. And that's also when I decided that I was going to exercise even more intensely. And, to give you some context, I was already dancing 25 hours a week, so I was exercising very intense, but I wanted to do more because in my mind I thought, if I was able to lose weight and obtain this ideal body type, I was going to be happier and I was going to be more fulfilled.

Speaker 3: 3:29

And this became a very serious problem. I lost a lot of weight, I was in a very dark place and something very scary and different about having an eating disorder and struggling with something like this is that you really don't see the severity of the problem when you're in it. You know, a lot of people came to me and they expressed their concerns and they offered help, but in my mind, like I was just so confused by people, thought I was sick. I was really confused by people, thought I had a problem because in my mind I saw this girl who still needed to lose weight even though I was sick and I was underweight, and this went on for about two and a half years where I was starving myself. I was restricting my food intake more and more and this brought me to a really dark place.

Speaker 3: 4:34

And something about having an eating disorder as well is that it really distances you from people. It kind of makes you be in this little bubble. You're kind of just concerned with your own problems and what's going on around you and in your life. That kind of limits your ability to empathize with people, at least in my experience.

Speaker 3: 4:58

And I was diagnosed with anorexia in high school and during that challenge I was honestly kind of mad at God and I was mad that he'd in a way, given me this challenge because you know, growing up you kind of think of high school as like the glamour years. You think it's going to be like the best years of your life, it's going to be so happy. And to me it really wasn't that way and I was really mad. I was like super frustrated with God. I would pray just for the challenge to be taken away from me. But I think we all know that that's not how God works and that's not how challenges work. But I got to a point in this journey where I kind of was just like you know, I'm done. I'm going to be done reading my scriptures, I'm going to be done saying my prayers, because I personally feel like I'm not getting help from Heavenly Father. So I don't want to put in any effort on my part because I don't feel like I'm getting help. And that was not a smart decision to be made. I needed the help from Heavenly Father and needed the strength that came from his son, jesus Christ, and eventually it took a long, long time but I was able to recognize that I needed their help.

Speaker 3: 6:30

But before that happened, I was let's see, this is junior year I was still really struggling with it, and I remember I finally got enough courage to say a prayer and to just ask Heavenly Father for help and guidance, and I had the impression that I needed to talk to my mom and my dad about it. And I remember I was getting ready for bed and I walked up to the living room where my parents were and I just said you know, I think I need to get help, I think I need to improve and heal from this, because I know that this is not how it's supposed to feel. I know that life isn't supposed to feel like this, and they were both so relieved when I told them this, because they had been seeing this problem for a long time, but I just was not able to recognize it. But I truly believe that it was God in that moment that gave me the strength to recognize that I needed help, and he was able to give me that little push, and from then on I started to see a dietitian who specialized in eating disorder recovery, and then I was able to see a therapist as well, and it was still super, super hard.

Speaker 3: 7:48

I don't know where I would have been, though, in that challenge if I wouldn't have used the power of prayer, and that was the game changer in my recovery was a concluding heavenly father in Jesus Christ in my recovery, and I remember one specific time where I was feeling alone and I was very frustrated, because I, when you have a needing disorder, it's kind of hard sometimes to open up to people around you and to talk about your struggle, because it's almost like if you haven't gone through a needing disorder yourself, it can be, I think, kind of hard for people to talk about. I just think that sometimes I don't know like the right things to say, which is totally, you know, understandable if you haven't gone through a certain challenge. Sometimes you just don't know what to say. But I remember I was just feeling frustrated because I felt like, with whoever I talked to, I wasn't getting the peace that I needed. I just felt like nobody understood me and nobody had gone through this challenge before like my, my unique challenge that I was going through. Nobody had experienced it. So I just felt super alone in my struggles.

Speaker 3: 9:09

And I remember I was again getting ready for bed and I was just praying and I told, heavenly father, you know, I just wish there was somebody that understood what I was going through, who had gone through it before me or, you know, had experienced the same thing as me. And it hit me and it was like, you know, jesus Christ experienced this and he knows exactly what you're going through, with the utmost grace for you and he loves you and you're not alone because he's there for you always. And that's when I decided to turn to the scriptures for the first time in a long time and I want to read the scripture because it's something that I turn to a lot for peace. It's second Nephi, 9, 21, and it says and he comeeth into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto his voice. For behold, he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women and children, who belong to the family of Adam.

Speaker 3: 10:21

And when I read that, I was able to more fully understand the atonement and that the atonement was not only for me to use to repent and to become better, but it was also for comfort and it was also for me to understand that I can have the strength to get through any challenge, because Jesus Christ gives me that and that power and that strength comes through his atonement and I love that in the verse it just tells us that he suffered for all of our pains, you know, for men, women, children, everybody. And from that point on I truly understood the atonement in a different way. I was able to face my eating disorder with a different perspective and that was what gave me the strength to continue on and to fully recover. And now I am just so thankful for that challenge in my life that I had to go through, because that's what gave me a testimony of the atonement. And when life gets hard I just think back to that certain challenge and I kind of think to myself you know, if the atonement could help me through that, the atonement can help me through everything that I will face in this life, and then it's for all of us, no matter what we're going through.

Speaker 3: 11:39

And that scripture also became one of my favorite verses to share with the people on my mission. I served in the Indiana Indian apolis mission and that was my go-to scripture to share to people when I would like teach about the atonement or when I would do like a first contact. If I asked people if I could share scripture with them, I would share that one and I loved it because I just thought of that challenge every time I shared it and I just wanted people to understand that you know that we can have peace and that peace comes from Jesus Christ and because of him we're never alone. So I thought that was really cool. That just not only did that experience help my testimony grow, but it also prepared me to help other people, and I think that's what challenges are about a lot of the time. They help us grow, but they also give us opportunities to empathize with those around us and to help share the love of Christ with those around us as well.

Speaker 1: 12:46

Awesome. Thank you so much for that wonderful story, for your story, for all those experiences that you've had. That was awesome. What was the scripture? Again, I tried looking it up but I forgot what exact reference it was.

Speaker 3: 13:00

No, you're good. So it's 2nd Nephi, chapter 9, verse 21.

Speaker 1: 13:06

9, verse 21. Awesome.

Speaker 3: 13:08

Yeah, it's a good one.

Speaker 1: 13:11

I have no idea why it's not highlighted. What the heck it is highlighted now.

Speaker 3: 13:16

Yay not it.

Speaker 1: 13:19

I repent. Change my ways, there we go.

Speaker 3: 13:23

I love it Awesome.

Speaker 1: 13:25

Thank you so much for that amazing story. Again, that's awesome, thank you.

Speaker 1: 13:31

I love the fact that you went to your parents instead of, like you mentioned, that people said, like hey, like something's wrong, something's wrong. But I don't think I heard you mention like someone telling you like hey, you need to fix yourself. Like it was the people around you were just patiently waiting. I think that's awesome, but the fact that you went to them and you realized the situation you were in, the things you were putting yourself through, and you made the decision to do something about it, I think that's one of the greatest skills that if anybody can learn, it's that it's to realize when you're putting yourself in a terrible situation, to realize when you're doing something that you shouldn't be doing and then change it. And that's the biggest thing, because a lot of people realize it's like, oh, I'm about 50 pounds heavier.

Speaker 1: 14:30

I'm not personally, but like I'm just you know painting an image like oh, I'm just 50 pounds heavier than I wish I was, you know. But then I go and open the fridge and eat some more snacks or something like you know. Like I love that you realized it and immediately did something about it, because before then you never realized it right.

Speaker 3: 14:52

Yeah, I know it was crazy like I was really sick, like I was just so underweight, but I never saw that. It's really scary how anorexia and like having an eating disorder can just kind of distort your perception of what's real and what's not. But it's true, because I'm also a very stubborn person. So I think when people tell me to do things, I'm also kind of like, yeah, I'm not gonna do that and God knew he's like it has to come from her for this to be like real and I need to give her a little push and give her that strength.

Speaker 1: 15:31

So it's kind of that. It's kind of that like, oh, I'm gonna do the dishes when I get home. You get home and then your mom's like, hey, can you do the dishes? It's like, well, now I don't want to exactly.

Speaker 3: 15:43

I have used that exact like I don't know how to say it like exact example before so many times, but it's so true and that's just how I work and that's probably something I need to get better at, but God knows, you knows you so well.

Speaker 1: 16:00

Absolutely, and I think that that skill I don't know if that's like impulsiveness or what, but like I do the same thing, or I've tried to develop the ability to do the same thing where, like, I realized, hey, like this, this is not good, what I'm doing is not good, and immediately try to change it. I also think that's because I have ADHD and I know that if I don't act on it right then, then I'm never going to do it. So what tomato, tomato, right? But I love, I just love that. I think that's an amazing thing and so that'll, if you continue that, that'll carry you into some amazing things for the rest of your life.

Speaker 3: 16:43

No, I totally agree.

Speaker 2: 16:44

I think one thing about that, that challenge, like specifically you know, not like like the challenge of you know going to people for help and being able to realize that because you know that's that's abroad and you know so many different spectrums and the thing is, if you're truly in a position where you're gonna convert yourself, if you are truly in a position where you're giving yourself to the Lord, you're gonna put yourself in one of those positions because you are going to somebody for help. You are, you know, accepting your Lord and Savior, that is, jesus Christ, and you're accepting that he knows that. But one of the biggest things and I think it's something that makes a lot of people super strong is the humbleness that that breeds. Because you know it's I'm the exact same way, like I am super stubborn. I have, like, even just the other day, I hopped in my car and I drove 30 miles to and from a place just to prove a point that, like you know, I was, like you know I said I'll do this or something, like I'm gonna do it, like I'm gonna be, like just you know, wasted all that gas money, and you know I just did it for the sake of like, no, I'm gonna prove this point. I think I'm gonna do it and, as you know, somebody else is like oh wait, you know you're gonna do that you want. I'll be like you know what? Now I don't want to, like it'd be that exact same thing. But it's so awesome because you get overloaded with something like that, because I'm suffering this, being able to stand in your way, you know, be able to defend that stuff for yourself, it's such a vitally important skill to have and it's something that so many people lack.

Speaker 2: 18:13

So to be able to be born with it I think a lot of people are born with it in the excess because it helps us learn how to be humble and it helps us really appreciate the help when we go and ask for it. Because I've, you know, seen that experience count in this times, because that's what breeds that, me this, because me this, you know I mean there's a lot of people that these days are able to communicate. There's still a lot of people understand that me this does not mean weakness. Me this is strength in all things. But realizing that you have a creator that's stronger than you, and in that case you know it builds that healthy fear of God that you know what God is, my creator. He knows and understands me and if I'm doing the things that I need to do, then he will bless me. If I'm not doing the things that I need to be doing, I'm not gonna receive those blessings.

Speaker 2: 18:56

So I think part of that challenge, you know, there's some people that can learn it super easy and just get on it. And then there's, you know, some people that have the craziest challenges that you've heard of. There's people that have, you know, I mean, anorexia is such a life-threatening issue, you know, and there's so many people, like you said it just it goes unnoticed and there's a lot of people that don't understand that that's such an issue. I mean, I think just eating disorders in general, it's, you know, causes so much dysmorphia. But the first step that you took should be such an inspiration to so many people. And just because it's just that one step that you need to take, because after that that domino effect kind of starts going and it's really, really awesome because it breeds such a healthy view of so many other things. And you know, in the future, you know you're still gonna be stubborn, like you know you're. You know you're still gonna react the same way initially, but maybe half an hour later you have that afterthought and you go back and you do it and you'll humble yourself.

Speaker 2: 19:56

So I think that that's something that you know, not like. You know people maybe not with your specific experience people, especially with your specific experience can you know, hear, that, realize somebody else that's you know, true, on this earth, going through the high school and all these things that we all go through. It's really awesome because you know there's a voice here right now they can express the same things for them, but that same voice that you used to share your story, which thank you so much for. Like, every single time somebody comes on this podcast, it's amazing because you know to share that testimony and such a platform, or you know it's reaching more people than I think we thought it would.

Speaker 2: 20:36

With any year of doing this podcast, like way more people it's. It can be daunting to a lot of people. You know that general task. I asked one of my friends to come on here and he said yes initially and then, like two days later, he said no, there's no way, I'm ready for that, and so thanks for that. But you know, use those experiences as you can to be like you know what, maybe I can just answer my challenge here and it's the same thing. And you can look at that and, you know, realize the goodness that comes through faith in the Lord, faith in your Savior, and just bring yourself in his arms.

Speaker 2: 21:10

So thanks again, like that's, that's such an awesome thing to be able to see those, those things come to fruition yeah, of course I.

Speaker 3: 21:20

I love that.

Speaker 3: 21:21

You said something that made me think of, like I always say, that there's so much strength in being vulnerable and sharing your challenges and trials and just being real and authentic with people, because I truly believe, like I said earlier, that God gives us certain challenges to bless those around us, you know, and just to help people get through challenges.

Speaker 3: 21:41

You know, maybe it's something similar that you went through, maybe it's not, but just being genuine about it I think helps a lot of people. And I remember I think I was in the MTC but we were reading 3rd Nephi, chapter 11, where Jesus Christ visits, you know, the people in the Americas and the part where he reaches out his hands and he invites people to come forth and to fail the imprints. You know that the where the nails were and he invites people one by one up to have that personal experience with him. And we talked a lot about how he was vulnerable with those that he taught and we can learn from that, just kind of like you, how you said that it's not a weakness to be meek, and we can learn from Jesus Christ he's our ultimate teacher just how vulnerability is a strength and that it just helps people it's all amazing, amazing stuff.

Speaker 1: 22:48

I've got some scriptures popping into mind.

Speaker 2: 22:51

I was like seeing your face like now and I was like, oh, he's cooking, he's cooking, something's about to be moved up.

Speaker 1: 22:56

I mean I was excited yeah, trezzan knows me too well, so a scripture popped into my mind when you shared the one from 2nd Nephi and I've just been waiting to share it. But this is actually kind of funny, because I shared this scripture in Sunday school today and I almost started crying as so adorable. But this is the scripture. It's Alma 711. I call it the spiritual slurpee. Shout out to my Tongan friend, elder Tupo Tuaone, because he's the one that cracked that joke to me and so I use it, but anyway. So Alma 711.

Speaker 1: 23:35

It says and he shall go forth suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind, and this that the word might be fulfilled, which sayeth he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people and he will take upon him death. That he may loose the bands of death which bind his people and he will take upon him their infirmities. That his bowels may be filled with mercy according to the flesh. That he may know, according to the flesh, how to sucker his people according to their infirmities. Now, the spirit knoweth all things. Nevertheless, the Son of God suffereth according to the flesh. That he might take upon him the sins of his people. That he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance. And now, behold, this is the testimony which is in me.

Speaker 1: 24:31

I love that scripture. It is probably the most personal or personable I don't know, is that a word personable? Okay, I failed English class but it's one of the most touching and relatable scriptures when talking about the Atonement of Jesus Christ, at least for me, because now I know how the Saviour loves me. Now I know who he is because it says, or how he loves me, especially because he says that he may know, according to the flesh, how to sucker his people according to their infirmities. Jesus Christ hasn't just walked a mile in our shoes. He's walked every single step. He has been there from the very beginning and he will be there to the very end. And he knows each one of us so individually, like. It's amazing to me just how well he knows each and every one of us. But the reason why he loves us so much is because he not only died for us, but he suffered such immense pain in the Garden of Gethsemane that he bled from every poor, that he he came to earth and received a body that he could feel pain, feel sickness, feel every mental struggle that anyone has ever gone through. I know that he's felt what you feel and have felt, shelby, and he knows how I feel, the pain that I've been through and the pain that treason has been through.

Speaker 1: 26:21

You know, each and every person that has come onto this podcast like it's it's funny. Well, I I say it's funny, but it's, I don't know, maybe it's not funny, but I use the word funny too liberally, but it's interesting. We'll use that one to me, that every single story that people share when they come on it's of a terrible experience that they've had, but it's the terrible experiences that point us to our savior. Because and I love this other scripture and I've shared that, like I've shared all of these so many times that Dr In Covenants, section 121, verses seven, eight and nine my peace or my son, but you're that my son, peace be unto thy soul.

Speaker 1: 27:18

Thine adversity and thine affliction shall be but a small moment and then, if thou endure it well, god shall exalt thee on high. Thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. Thy friends do stand by thee and they shall hail thee again with warm hearts and friendly hands. And then from there jump over to Dr In Covenants 637,. It says behold the wounds which pierced my side and also the prints of the nails in my hands and feet. Be faithful, keep my commandments. Ye and ye shall inherit the kingdom of heaven. Hold fast, little flock.

Speaker 3: 27:59

I love that. I love that so much. Those scriptures are all amazing. Alma 711 is truly one of the greatest scriptures out there, Because I love it too, just how personable and intimate it is to everybody and it's just truly a gift.

Speaker 1: 28:19

That's the word I was looking for intimate. I got you, thank you, I think. Obviously I have never really suffered anything quite like you went through with that eating disorder. The closest I've got is when I came up to college, like two years ago. Actually kind of crazy, I felt like an old man. But yeah, two years ago I moved up to Logan with like $20 and $500 of credit card debt, Because that's all the limit that I allowed myself was $500. And so like eating was just struggle because like I couldn't afford groceries half the time and I was too stubborn to ask people for help. So I lost a lot of weight then, but it wasn't so much like anorexia or anything like that, it was just like financial struggle. But either way, like that's my failed attempt to relate to your story.

Speaker 1: 29:32

But I know that there were so many miracles that happened in my life at that time, so many people that came into my life. I met this amazing woman. Her name's Macy. I'll give her a shout out. She's awesome, one of the best cooks I've met. Holy smokes. Her chicken pot pie is to die for. She's an amazing lady and she would. I don't think she realized this, but she was feeding a starving individual every now and then. But little miracles, little things like that came into my life because I chose to believe. Even though I've never doubted God, I never struggled with my faith in those. In those months I struggled with reading my scriptures and all the things Granted. I just got home from my mission. So everybody goes through a rebellious phase, right?

Speaker 3: 30:28

That's very true.

Speaker 1: 30:29

Absolutely, but the miracles were always there and I always felt like I was going to be taken care of because my Heavenly Father loves me, is almost almost to the point where I felt like I could walk across the street with you know, without a crosswalk or anything, a busy street and be just fine. I would not recommend that to anybody. I never tried it, I'm not going to, but the Lord is constantly aware of us and constantly with us and I think your story is an amazing story of portraying that.

Speaker 3: 31:09

Thank you so much. I mean so much to me. Life is crazy. So I just have to tell myself you know, life was never supposed to be perfect, you know, and we're placed on this earth to learn and grow so it can become like our Heavenly Father, and that isn't always going to be pretty, but that's okay.

Speaker 2: 31:31

I think, one thing that really sticks out to me in those situations, because, you know, like Dalliam was saying, everybody has that pain that they've been through. In the scriptures the word joy and the word happiness isn't really used interchangeably and, you know, happiness kind of comes in those short times but the joy part is, you know, more everlasting. And that's something that's always stuck out to me because, like I've, like I'm a very like upbeat, like, you know, go lucky person, like I at least try to be, but I mean I wouldn't necessarily say I'm like the happiest person on earth, like I'd probably even hesitate to just use the word happy in general, right, but I kind of have that joy because as I look through these things, and especially, you know, listening to people that come on here and share stories, listening to some of the things we hear in conference or church or just people's stories along the road, because everybody has a story and it's just something that's so integral to our being, you know, not only a society, not only humans as a culture, but you know, especially, I feel like it's our duty as members of the church of Jesus Christ to be able to hear these people's stories and use that to, you know, kind of be able to share our own, not for the sake of you know, like, oh, that's your story, this is my story like an exchange, but it's giving back and forth something that is valid and something that gives you that validity, because that kind of thing that you have those trials, that you have those experiences, you have the things that are so bad. You know the darkness and then the light, when things are just great and you're super happy and it's just as well as it can be. Those are the things that build our testimony, but those are also the things that build the tools that we have spiritually to be able to gather scattered Israel, to be able to heed those callings, to be able to heed everything that we've been called on Earth to do and everything that we've covenanted to do since baptism, and you know everything that we promise God, so on and so forth. And we will make mistakes and we will have things that you know, whether they're in our control or not, are going to affect us. But if we just get over our stubbornness and you know at least you know in our cases if we're if we just hurry and hop on it once, we tell ourselves we need to do something before somebody else tells us.

Speaker 2: 33:49

Then we can get to the point where, as we receive that help, we can take that tool to be able to go through and help others and it's not necessarily like guiding, it's, you know. Just hey, you know you're falling down real quick. This helped me get up. Is it going to help you? Maybe, maybe not, because you can reach your hand out as much as you want. Somebody just has to reach their hand out first. You know they have to be the one to do it.

Speaker 2: 34:14

But I feel like if you take that step in your life to be the one to reach your hand out and you feel like nobody else is there, you're going to be surprised when somebody grabs it, whether that's a friend, whether that's a complete stranger or you know, especially in each of those cases when it is our Lord and Savior, jesus Christ, just like that picture of him reaching into the pond that I'm sure everybody's seen. It's like one of the most beautiful paintings of our Savior that's out there. You know it's. You think you're drowning, but there's somebody here to get you to that air, get you to that fresh breath. That is the gospel, that is the love of Jesus Christ. That is every step of what you know we value as Christians to find that joy. Even when we don't have that happiness, we can still have that joy that we have Jesus Christ on our side.

Speaker 1: 35:13

Absolutely Shelby. I've got a question for you.

Speaker 3: 35:17

Yes, I have an answer.

Speaker 1: 35:20

All right, this is too personable, or personable, personal, whatever, I swear. My brain is just like words floating around and I see one that kind of looks like the right one. I grab it. I really usually usually isn't the right one, but if it's too personal then we can just skip over it and I'll cut this out. But there's the question Is this something that you've still struggled with? Or kind of like walk us through how your life has changed since getting help?

Speaker 3: 36:01

Yeah, I know that's a great question. Yeah, so recovery was honestly like years of just improving. It took a long time for me to get to a place where I felt like I was healthy again and comfortable and just mentally there mentally okay and mentally healthy. But as of right now, I am doing great. I just have a whole new respect for my body and how it is a gift from God and that I need to always honor it and treat it with respect. And one thing that I've also thought a lot about is that God's plan is for us to learn and grow and become like him and, like I've mentioned a lot on this podcast today, that has a lot to do with growing and going through a lot of trials so he can mold us into the people that we become.

Speaker 3: 37:10

And I always like to tell myself that God's plan is never to we didn't come down to earth and receive a body for us to be the most attractive person we can be or to have the most perfect body.

Speaker 3: 37:24

That does not matter at all and that is not something that matters to our Heavenly Father, and that's something that's really carried me through hard days, because there's like little moments that come up that are hard. Nobody's perfect and it's kind of something that I have to stay up to speed on. I always have to be on top of it. But one thing that has always helped me is I just picture what the Savior would tell me when I'm struggling, If I'm having a hard moment. I just kind of like to close my eyes and I picture Him hugging me. And that might sound kind of cheesy, but it's honestly brought a lot of comfort to me in just times where maybe I'm feeling overwhelmed with things, maybe I'm just kind of feeling triggered by, like a food comment or a comment about, like somebody's body that somebody said. Like in that moment where I might feel overwhelmed, I just like to close my eyes and picture the Savior standing there, because I know that he's always with us.

Speaker 1: 38:29

I love that. What would the savior say to me in this moment? Kind of thing.

Speaker 3: 38:37

Yeah, I um to me. I would picture just like the savior telling me that he loves me and that he knows exactly what I'm going through. You know, I just always picture him telling me that like it's going to be okay, I'm never going to leave your side. I have been with you since day one and I will continue to walk with you during your life and that gives me so much strength and so much peace when I'm just having a hard moment, really with any challenge. You know if it's like eating disorder related or if it's something totally different. I think that's just something that I've kind of developed over time to think about.

Speaker 2: 39:19

There was one thing that Shobhi shared about. When you said, you know, we weren't given bodies to have the perfect body, and at first I was like, well, I mean, we were given, like, these bodies as a gift. Like I was like really trying to unfold what you mean because you know I've got, you know, like my own body image issues and stuff like that, and just you know the issues that I've gone through, and I was like, what does that mean? Because, like, in my mind, I'm like I want to do everything I can to like perfect this. But then I realized I just want to be able to show what I am able to do with this gift that I have. But it's not about being perfect, because I've accepted where I am and where I'm, you know, not good at things, I know I'm not perfect in anything. And so, as I looked at what you said and just kind of stuck back from that initial, I was like no, like I have to be perfect. Like what's she saying? Like maybe. Like I was like no, like let me be perfect. And I was like, well, like I know that I'm not in, like, my goal there's necessarily being perfect, but it's, what can I do with this gift that I've been given to learn and grow as much as I can, and there's so much of that that just comes from you know little things that matter with our physical health and our mental health. And you know you don't realize that even if you are trying to do things to fix that, then it can create that illusion of oh, I have to be perfect now and it leads to those issues you know and then you don't understand it.

Speaker 2: 40:51

And another thing that you'd mentioned when you started answering Dalyan's question was you said the process of, like, getting you know healthy was you know it took years and everything like that, and the way that you said those words like it just sounded like you know something that you know. You may not have said it just like that before, but in times where you shared your story or look back on it for yourself, I feel like there was a moment where it's like, yeah, you know, this is how it happened and so I love that change from where you know you are so self-conscious about yourself for seeing you know all these other girls and stuff and it's like, oh well, I need to work on myself to become perfect and you think the healthy thing to do is to work out more and eat less and put your body through all that and then, as soon as you accept that help, your mindset kind of changes. And you know it's not going to be right away, but you're like, oh, you know what I do, know that this is what I need to do to be healthier, and I think that's kind of what I experienced after. You know, like listening to that was like you know what. We aren't here to have the perfect bodies. We're not going to.

Speaker 2: 41:52

Nothing about this world in general is going to be perfect, but we are given a gift and we are given so many awesome challenges with that gift that we have you know, having bodies being natural men that there's so much that we can learn about it spiritually and people just overlook because, you know, our bodies are just such a physical thing. It's the only physical part of us. Everything else is all spiritual. It's all whatever loom of consciousness we bread into or just, you know, woke up one day when we're four years old playing with toys and we're like, oh my gosh, I can think, or whatever it is, and I think that it's really, really key to understand that every gift that the Lord has given us in this life has such a beautiful underlying purpose to all the inner workings of the universe that when we do have those struggles and he does show us the path, how easy it is just to understand that full spectrum, you know, because obviously we're not going to learn every single thing about the world and everything that God has planned, but just those little things, those things that can help us, those things that can help you.

Speaker 2: 43:04

Okay, you know what this is, what's unhealthy, what do I need to do to get healthy and be able to switch that? And I think that's so key and I think that's why the atonement, as you said, is such a huge key part and everything that we have. Because that's, you know, people can do all they want to try to change other people's hearts or change their own, but ultimately the only thing that can truly change your heart is faith and our word and Savior. I just want to share that and, you know, thank you again, because it's just every single time we come on these is just a blessing for me, because I'm just learning so much more and people are just sharing things that just make more and more sense. It makes me so happy to be in the position I am to be able to come on this platform and learn from people, but also just take that with me and the knowledge that I want to give to, you know, my future kids and stuff someday. So it's, it's awesome, thank you.

Speaker 3: 43:56

That means a lot.

Speaker 1: 44:00

I did find the scripture, so it's Mosiah, chapter 24, verse 15. And this is another one of those scriptures that I share a lot. So for our devoted listeners, sorry I'm going to repeat it again, but you know, the greatest things are repeated in the scriptures. So here we go, mosiah 24, 15. And this is the people of Alma, alma the elder, when they broke off and they ran away from King Noah and at this point they're under Lamanites rule, underneath the or below the, the priests of King Noah. And the priests are, you know, putting a ton of burdens on these people's backs. And that's what it says here. It says and now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light. Yay, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all. All the will of the Lord.

Speaker 1: 45:17

With that scripture and with your story, shelby, I kind of wanted to prove a little bit of a point. So you said that your struggles, you know it's still there, it's, it's probably always going to be there, and a lot of times that can be very discouraging to people. I know, when I think about my struggles, like that's always going to be there and like, in a way, like I don't know it's it's an interesting topic to talk about because it's not like it's always going to be there, but it's kind of like it would be so easy to fall back into. It is what I'm saying and I love what the Lord did to those people, the people in Alma, or at least the way that they described it, because it wasn't the burdens that were made lighter, it was them that were made stronger. So it appeared as if the burdens were made lighter. And I think that's exactly how the Lord works.

Speaker 1: 46:19

When we get older, as we go through experiences, the world just kind of toughens you up. You know you get knocked down, you get back up and you rub some dirt on it and you move on, you press forward. The Lord is going to be with you. He's probably going to rub some dirt on it with you, but that is why he is here with us is to make us stronger, so that our burdens seem lighter. But when we don't turn to the Lord in all that we can do, then those burdens are just going to stay the same and eventually we get weaker because our legs start to wear out. We can no longer carry the weight that we used to be able to carry and eventually it leads us to do other things.

Speaker 1: 47:09

I know this is the first thing that popped in my mind, so kind of a very drastic difference from what we've been talking about. But I know that a lot of pedophiles and rapists and all those things, the people that do those horrific things they started with pornography or, like you could go with marijuana. That's the gateway drug into all the other things. It's like you can dabble a little bit and then all of a sudden Satan takes you and you might think, oh, I'm strong enough, I'm not going to do it, I'm not going to go that far. You will, unless you turn to the Lord in everything and allow him to make you stronger.

Speaker 1: 48:01

Ether 1227. I don't have it memorized, I'm not going to look it up, I'm going to paraphrase for the sake of time. But the Lord gives man weaknesses. Well, he actually doesn't even say weaknesses, he says weakness. The Lord gives man weakness so that they may humble themselves and turn to him. And he, only he, has the power to make weak things strong. The power of the Lord is real and it's so powerful. He is the strongest one there is, and his impact in our lives has such a change, and so the point that I wanted to make is this issue, and to all those that struggle with anything really, those issues might not seem like they're leaving, and maybe they don't, but the Lord will make you strong enough to bear them. Eventually, you will be so strong that you won't even notice that it's there. It might still be there, but you probably won't even notice it, because you turn to the Lord, and he strengthened you.

Speaker 3: 49:23

That was beautiful. I feel like I've been learning so much from you guys on the podcast. I honestly feel like it was meant to be for me to come on today. I love that. I love how you talked about that. The Lord doesn't always take away our burdens and ease them, but he does make us stronger and that helps so much, and that is just what life is all about at the end of the day Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 49:50

That actually gives me another question for you, shelby. So, going through, you know, when you started the start of your story, you were kind of talking about how you felt, the unfairness. You know, like it felt like God wasn't giving you the things that you wanted, or maybe felt like you needed or deserved or, you know, whatever it may have been, um, afford the sake of everything that built up to you know, your junior year, when you got that courage to say that prayer. What would you give is advice to, like anybody who's just struggling with that same thing. They feel like, oh my gosh, god, god isn't looking out for me, or God's giving me all these things, like God's making things super unfair. What would you give as advice to somebody that you know is going through those things as you did, as I'm sure you know all of us have at some point?

Speaker 3: 50:48

No, that's a great question. I love that Honestly. Like I could take my advice sometimes too, but, like with this specific experience, like I learned, just to take a step back and look at the eternal perspective and to think about how this unique challenge gives me the opportunity to grow in ways that I wouldn't have otherwise. And, at the end of the day, we want to become stronger and better. And so if we look at our challenges and trials in a different light and just look at them as like stepping stones to the person that we want to become, I think that kind of takes a little bit of effort. It takes a little bit away of like that bitter feeling of like this is so unfair. It's still going to be hard, but I think that kind of gives us a new perspective that can bring light and clarity.

Speaker 1: 51:48

Awesome. So we are getting very long. I think we've been talking for about an hour now, so I'm just going to anybody have any last minute thoughts before we close out. All right, I'll share some quick final thoughts and then we'll say goodbye to our wonderful listeners, and I think there's a lot that we could we there's probably about another hour or two hour conversation that we could have about, you know, our bodies being temples, and I think that's one point that I want to make real quick before we end is how sacred our bodies are, and I think that's something that Satan uses against us so much.

Speaker 1: 52:43

He is constantly like oh, you're not good enough, you're not pretty enough, you're not skinny enough, you're not like healthy enough, you're not big enough For me. It's like you got skinny, freaking legs. Like, get to the gym, what are you doing? Or don't go to the gym because everybody's going to laugh at you. You got tiny little legs. He uses our, this amazing creation that God gave us, these physical bodies he made us in his image. God did and the devil uses that so carefully against us to make us feel like we're not worthy of it. And I think to anybody that is struggling with self-esteem issues. Struggling with things like that. You are enough. I know that because God made you that way. He is the same guy that can make Zion National Park one of the most beautiful places I have ever been, or the Grand Tetons, or like all these amazing beautiful places in the world.

Speaker 1: 53:57

I just got back from Alaska. I spent a summer up there. Holy crap, that place is gorgeous and I loved it up there and I got to sit around there, look at the ocean, look at these freshwater rivers that are glacier fed, look at all this green, the foliage, and I just remember thinking to myself Holy crap, god is such an artist and I think it's so hypocritical for me to be able to look at that and see that as God's power right there and then look at me and say, oh, he messed up, he messed up. I'm here to say and I want to pound this into our listeners heads he did not mess up, you were loved, you were cared for and you are made exactly how God wanted you to be made.

Speaker 1: 54:55

Even if you were born with a disability, even if you're you know you're missing a limb or something. I almost lost my finger. That's a crazy story. But even if you're not perfect. You're not meant to be perfect yet, and that is something that will come in the second coming, and I think that's amazing. I think God's love for each and every one of us is so exquisite and so perfect, because he is the one that created us. Our Savior Jesus Christ's hand was in all of it and, with that being said, shelby, thank you so much for coming on. It has been an absolute pleasure to have you on here with us today.

Speaker 3: 55:49

Of course. Thank you guys so much. I've learned a lot from you too.

Speaker 1: 55:54

Thank you, and thank you, tresden, for joining, and to our amazing listeners for listening, for sticking to the end. It has been an amazing episode. I think Tresden agrees, don't you? Oh yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 56:08

What you know is it just goes back to the simplicity of everything you know, like where Shelby's story started. You know, if you are struggling with any of those things, prayer is going to be your best friend. Say a prayer, ask God for that strength and you know you'll be. You'll be set. I can attest to that in the last three weeks alone. So amazing episode, that's true.

Speaker 1: 56:31

And, yeah, thank you so much to our listeners for staying and and feel free to, if you haven't already, follow our Instagram page at remember dot podcast. That's where we post updates on things that we upload. We share uplifting messages. Mikaela does an amazing job of running the Instagram page. We do have a link tree account in our description and from there you can sign up to share your own story, which we would absolutely love. We have loved Shelby and her story and we will absolutely love you and whatever story or experiences you have to share, so come and share your story. We'd love to have you. There's also a link to I just pulled it up, mikaela runs this, not me. There's a link to our Etsy store where you can buy any of our merchandise. We've got a few new things coming. I've got a hoodie that I'm wearing right now. So, yeah, awesome things on our Etsy store. Go check it out, and thank you so much for listening and remember him. Thank you, thank you.