Healing in the Aftermath: A Marine's Journey to Self-Discovery and Service

When the uniform comes off and the service is over, what's next? Join us as we sit down with Jeremy, the co-founder of the Mighty Oaks Foundation and a U.S. Marine Corps veteran, who candidly recounts his own journey. From the echoes of duty in the heart-wrenching transition to civilian life, to the inception of a foundation that has become a beacon of hope for over 5,000 veterans, this episode is a deep dive into the soul of service and the unyielding bonds of brotherhood. Jeremy's story isn't just about the battles fought overseas, but also about the internal wars waged within, and the relentless pursuit of purpose beyond the battlefield.

The Mighty Oaks Foundation:
https://www.mightyoaksprograms.org

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:01

This is Charlie Mike the podcast Veterans helping veterans. Talking about things happening in the veteran community, Things we've experienced and overcome, such as addictions, PTSD, depression, legal trouble, and we also promote veteran-owned businesses. If you're talking about it, we're talking about it. This is Charlie Mike the podcast.

Speaker 2: 0:37

Yo, what's going on everybody? Thank you for joining Charlie Mike the podcast. As always, I'm your host, raulul hey. Today I got a special guest for y'all is Jeremy. Jeremy's the co -founder of the Mighty Oats Foundation and he's also a United States Marine Corps veteran. So you guys be sure to stay tuned. Check this one out, jeremy. Introduce yourself. Tell us a little bit about yourself.

Speaker 3: 1:02

Yeah well, thanks for having me on. Man really appreciate it and, uh, really excited to have the conversation. Um, you said it all I'm a marine corps veteran. There's nothing much else to say. That's.

Speaker 3: 1:11

That's kind of the end all and be all right I mean, I've got a few things since then, but, um, I served as a, as a, an infantry officer in uh in the marine corps force. Uh served my last deployment in Iraq in 2003 as part of the initial push into Iraq. So that was my last deployment, which is crazy to have that as your last deployment, but we were part of the initial push. The Battle of Baghdad was our last fight in April of 2003. And then we did a few other things for a few months and then came home and since then I have been involved in ministry.

Speaker 3: 1:47

I was in church ministry for a while and some different things and for the last 12 years have been working with the Mighty Oaks Foundation, which is a nonprofit that works with veterans, active duty service members, first responders and spouses, all dealing with some degree of trauma, whether it's trauma related to combat, trauma related to service in the community for the first responder folks. A lot of it's trauma that was brought into those communities and has been, kind of, you know, made worse by their service, and so we've been doing that for 12 years. We've had just over 5,000 students graduate from our programs and we went from a couple of Marines trying to get our friends and other people we knew to come and do this week long thing that we were doing to now having about 40 weeks of programs in places across the country. So yeah, it's been an adventure, to say the least, but really glad to be a part of it.

Speaker 2: 2:42

That's amazing. Now I want to know okay, I want to go back a little bit and learn a little bit about Jeremy. So where are you from originally? Why the Marine Corps? Was the military always a thought?

Speaker 3: 2:54

Yeah, you know it's crazy and I've thought about this a lot. I've got four kids and my two oldest are young adults now and they're doing their jobs and I have two teenage kids and so we're having these conversations a lot and have over the last few years about what you're going to do with your future, right? So I think about man, how did I make those decisions? I was raised in a very conservative home. My dad actually was a pastor of a small church in Southern California, so I was raised in that environment and didn't really have anyone in my family that had served in the military. But when I was probably 11 or 12 years old, I got a book that was it had been my dad's when he was a kid. He found it in my grandparents' house and he's cleaning out some stuff, gave it to me.

Speaker 3: 3:37

So it was written back in the sixties but it was stories of congressional medal, of honor recipients from World War II. And I remember as an 11 and 12 year old kid reading, you know, these stories and they weren't the citations, they were the stories, right. And so reading all the stories and and man, like I remember just as a kid, for the first time thinking I could be a part of something bigger than myself, I could do something important, and you learn about honor and you learn about teamwork and all those things, and so that, I think, planted the seed in my mind and as I got older I really had a. My focus was on military service. Why the Marine Corps? I'm not exactly sure. I don't know when it started, but I just grew up believing that if you went into the military, that meant you were going in the Marine Corps. I don't know where I got that from, but that's kind of what I always believed.

Speaker 2: 4:26

You never played GI.

Speaker 3: 4:27

Joe yeah, I could play GI Joe. I like watching war movies and Marines are pretty cool, and there were a few people in my life that had been Marines, and so that was probably the influence, and I also believed at the time that if you're a Marine, that means you're an infantry Marine. Right, like that's what the Marine Corps is about. I've learned that it's a lot more than that since then, but so I was 14 years old when I told my dad I'd really like to go into the Marine Corps, I want to be an infantry Marine and that's what I want to do with my life.

Speaker 3: 4:58

That's a little surprising for my. You know my dad, who was a pastor, to you need to go to college first, after that, do whatever you'd like, and so my plan was to enlist out of high school. My parents said you need to go to college, and so I was able to go through a commissioning program while I was in college and was commissioned the day I graduated. So yeah, it's probably not your typical story. I don't know exactly what started it, but I don't remember ever wanting to do anything else, and that was kind of my whole goal pointing my life toward that service.

Speaker 2: 5:29

Around what time? What year did you enlist?

Speaker 3: 5:33

So I went to officer candidate school in 1996. And I did some reserve time and then my active duty time. My schooling and all of that started after my commissioning in 99. So yeah, 96, 98, I was going through the Marine Corps has a program called the platoon leaders course. So you go to officer candidate school. It's kind of a split program. I did that and then I was commissioned that next year.

Speaker 2: 6:02

So you were fairly fresh in when, when the nine 11 happened. Do you remember exactly where you were at or how, that, if that had any effect on you?

Speaker 3: 6:17

know what was going on.

Speaker 3: 6:20

Yeah, man, I. So when I, when I checked in as a rifle platoon commander, second lieutenant, six months later we deployed to Okinawa for the Marine Corps, I was called a 31st Mew deployment out of Okinawa, and so I did that as a rifle platoon commander. We came home and that was, I want to say, july of 2001. And so we took our leave, as you do when you come off of a deployment, and we were just back in that recall and all that stuff after deployment. So we were actually on the rifle range just doing our regular rifle calls on nine 11. And that came over the loud speaker.

Speaker 3: 6:57

This happened and you know I was coming out of a a peacetime military environment my entire life. You know we had Desert Storm, which was a pretty big deal, but it was over really quick. Panama kind of happened when I was a teenager, and so there were a few things, but nothing crazy. It was mostly a peacetime military peacetime environment. So when they made that announcement, I remember having a Marine come up and say, hey, sir, we're gonna.

Speaker 3: 7:24

What does this mean for us? Like it doesn't mean anything for us, right? This is not going to be a big thing, special forces, somebody's going to take care of this, but we'll never deploy that. That Marine found me when we were in Kuwait getting ready to go to Iraq and reminded me that I said it would never happen. But yeah, I just didn't take it that seriously, I guess, in terms of what that would mean for us. But very, very quickly, I mean within days, our whole world changed training changed, uniforms changed, access to equipment and ammunition for live fire training all of it changed and we started that spin up to eventually deploy.

Speaker 2: 8:03

That's, that's insane. So you're from California, correct? Yeah, Southern California, Yep, and uh what? How'd you get to Texas?

Speaker 3: 8:13

Yeah, well, so the Mighty Oaks Foundation, um, we have grown and things have happened that, uh, you know, put us in a pretty strong place and we wanted a place to call home and, uh, this area of Texas that we're in, montgomery County, texas, is a super patriotic and supportive of veterans and all those things, and there's lands here so we can, we can build a building, which we're doing right now.

Speaker 3: 8:35

So I actually still live in California, okay, even though our headquarters is here in Texas and I kind of commute back and forth and I travel a lot but yeah, our, our team is here in Texas and I kind of commute back and forth and I travel a lot, but uh, yeah, our, our team is here in Texas, uh, making it happen.

Speaker 2: 8:49

So so, um, your organization is a lot different than a lot of other ones that I've researched and that I've had on the podcast, and one of the things that y'all are real strongly and based is faith. Yeah, now, since your father was a pastor, is that always? Faith has always been in your life.

Speaker 3: 9:07

Yeah, faith has always been important to me and you know there is an understanding that faith is important and then there is a realization that it needs to be personal. So, growing up around, you know, in a Christian home and around church, and you know my whole life has been around church I was definitely raised in that. I would say that I became a Christian when I was a child, understanding my need for a savior and putting my faith in Christ when I was a child and growing up in that and then really owning that, I think when I was in the Marine Corps actually and really owning that, I think when I was in the Marine Corps actually and really understanding that faith is more than just something out there, that it is personal and it is a relationship that is something you need to walk out. And so I think there were stages you know like there are for a lot of people of growth and understanding what all that means. But I became a Christian when I was young and I really grew into an understanding that I need to live this out when I was in my 20s and so, yeah, it's always been very important to me. And then you know, particularly as it relates to the work that we do.

Speaker 3: 10:14

When I came home from Iraq, I went to work at a church out of the Marine Corps. I left the Marine Corps, went to work at a church and the bottom fell out of my life Corps. I left the Marine Corps, went to work at a church and the bottom fell out of my life. My marriage found itself in a very dark and difficult place. I was not well at all and a big part of me not only not, you know, completely falling, but getting back on my feet and being able to move forward was the faith community around me, and so even understanding trauma and understanding brokenness and understanding hope and purpose and all that from a faith perspective, that's always been important to me. It was personally important to me when I was struggling and so it's really, I think, organically, you know is is something that I understand and we're able to help people work through so how did the initial idea come about?

Speaker 2: 11:06

So, is it something that you've, I know you experienced? You experienced some difficulty and that was, I'm assuming, the transition from Marine Corps to, I don't want to say, you know, civilian life, but is that where you know? You found a lot of the difficulty.

Speaker 3: 11:25

Yeah, for me, the transition from the Marine Corps. So we were in Iraq, part of the initial push, first KIA of the war. Lieutenant Shane Childers was one of our guys. We were sitting in a blocking position while his platoon was clearing a building. So we were there breaching the berm. We were there for the first objective, securing the first objective. We fought our way to Baghdad. The battle of Baghdad on April 10th was our battalion as well.

Speaker 3: 11:51

Um, I was, uh, leading Marines through all of that and then came home and literally a month later I was out of the Marine Corps and so, in that, in that process and this is 2003, right, so no one was talking about trauma or post-traumatic stress or even transition. Really, I mean, there was kind of like a you know, checking the box process for the transition out, but that's all it was and there was no conversations about it. There was no access to help or anything like that. So so I left the Marine Corps and in the process of leaving the Marine Corps and literally going on to a church staff, I lost myself. I lost my identity. I didn't know how to function, I didn't know who I was. I felt like what I had been a part of was very important, and the stuff I was doing now was kind of stupid, and it led to this frustration that became anger, that became I was a disaster at home and even on a church staff. Again, for people that spend time around church, this is not normal. I was a wreck to the point that, you know, my boss, who was the pastor of the church, had to say this is not working anymore. You either need to find somewhere else to work or you've got to figure. You either need to find somewhere else to work or you've got to figure this out. Right, and again, we weren't talking about trauma, but you've got to figure this out. And so then I was confronted by some people in the church and some family members, and I would say the process of really moving forward and understanding a lot of these things took a long time, but it was about a year that I was able to really engage with you, know again purpose and understanding identity and finding hope outside of what I did in the Marine Corps and all that. So for me, that was my experience.

Speaker 3: 13:38

Now, mighty Oaks started in 2012. So 10 years later, nine years later, in 2012. So 10 years later, nine years later, um, uh, chad Robichaux and his family he's also a former Marine um, similar several deployments. Uh came home post-traumatic stress, all this stuff bottom fell out of his life and it was a man in the church that uh really mentored him back to a place of understanding who he was and how he should live and how he should function as a husband and father and all those things that we talked about. And so he started Mighty Oaks and we met really 10 years after I got out of the Marine Corps through a mutual friend, and it was one of those.

Speaker 3: 14:18

You know, military people are funny because whether you know each other or not, if you have that service in common, right like your friends, right, right away. And we met and right away he's like, hey, man, uh, I need help doing this, would you help me get this thing going? And um, the answer was yes and and I had fought through all that kind of alone personally with, with church people and family, but but I didn't have like a community of veterans or anything. In fact, I kind of walked away from the veteran community because it was just so hard to be a part of for me, so re-engaging with that and then reaching out to people that I had served with and people that I was in the Marine Corps with, and then the larger veteran community.

Speaker 3: 14:57

I understood and it took me a long time to get there, but but in that process of Mighty Oaks getting started, I understood that it's veterans that have a responsibility to help other people who have served continue moving forward. There are a lot of great people in the world, but if veterans don't take care of each other, then no one else will. And I just it took me like 10 years to get a hold of that right Because I thought that when I brought my guys home from combat that that I did a good job and I was done. But then I realized like there's suicides and there's broken homes and there's hopelessness, and so I brought these guys home and then walked out on them and let them fend for themselves and and it was getting mighty oaks going. That caused me to really step back and go. I still have a responsibility to those guys and I've got to do everything I can to help them.

Speaker 2: 15:50

That's, that's insane. Just, I can just imagine like you going from the Marine Corps to the church, right, right, like a night and day scenario, right, yeah, it was a great transition. That's got to be, you know. Transition, that's got to be, you know. Uh, that's got to be a difficult thing. Um, did you have you know with with most veterans that I've experienced and myself, did you have an oh shit moment like yeah, okay, something wrong here, yeah, yeah, I.

Speaker 3: 16:21

So I would say it was about 11 months after I came home is when I had that moment, because I started to. So my behavior was horrible. My wife stayed with me because she loved God and she loved our family and she really wanted it to work, but she probably had a lot of good reasons to leave. I was super angry and just a disaster, right. And then the people I was working with I was a disaster, but I blamed them. I blame my wife, I blame my kids, I blame the people I worked with, I blame Americans, right, like, all of this is someone else's fault. None of this is my fault is someone else's fault. None of this is my fault.

Speaker 3: 17:06

And it wasn't until like 11 months into this thing when I started to receive confrontation from people that I cared about and that I respected and that that kind of backed me into that place where I had to go shoot man, like I guess I'm the problem. I've been blaming everyone else. I've been saying that everyone else is the problem. I've been saying that you know problem. I've been saying that you know, no one knows who I am, no one knows how special I am, all the stupid stuff we say, um, I'll never be what I was over there, maybe I should go back in the Marine Corps. All that stuff I was telling myself and then taking it out on everyone else. When people that I really cared about finally confronted me, um, that was the moment I had to step back and go. Oh no, I've had this wrong and I've hurt quite a few people in the process.

Speaker 2: 17:51

So what was the recovery like? What was the first thing that you I know it's, you know, mind, body, soul, is it you just had to find, redo your faith structure, or what was a lot of it? The?

Speaker 3: 18:07

the big, the big key for me. So it's important for people to understand that I think working through that whether you call it healing or recovery or just working through it however you want to phrase it it takes time right, and everyone thinks that it's like you make a decision and now everything's different. Well, I spent a year destroying every relationship that was important to me. So I wasn't going to turn that around in a year or in a moment and then just trying to figure all this out. But what started it for me was accepting responsibility and it sounds too simple, but I couldn't be responsible for a lot of things, but I had to be fully responsible for myself, how I behaved, how I was treating people, how I was looking at people, the things that I was thinking. I had to be responsible for that. And we have a guy in our program who says look, if, if you're only 10% responsible for what's happened to you, then you need to be 100% responsible for that 10%. Right, and that was me. I looked at everyone else. I'm like well, you guys just don't get it. You're the problem. And if any of this is going to get better, it's going to be because I'm willing to accept responsibility for how I've been behaving and the things that I've been doing.

Speaker 3: 19:29

I like to say that there's no excuse for bad behavior. We might have reasons, you know, and a lot of veterans have reasons, and then they use that as the excuse. There may be reasons, but there's no excuse. All of us know you're not out of control until you're out of control. There are moments before you lose control that you can stop that thing from rolling downhill, and yet we use these circumstances or situations or our trauma or hurt to justify our bad behavior. And I had to be responsible for that. So really it was me accepting responsibility personally and then apologizing to the people that I'd hurt. Really it was me accepting responsibility personally and then apologizing to the people that I'd hurt. You know, basically, my wife, you know people I work with, my family, the people who are close to me, and letting them know I'm acknowledging this, I'm accepting responsibility for it and then walking it out.

Speaker 3: 20:17

I could have took me. You know my wife would say I always say took me about a year. My wife would say, and does say it takes me about 10 years to really get all that back. And someone asked me about that not too long ago and they said well, when you came to that realization, did you go to counseling?

Speaker 3: 20:35

I should have, is the answer, and if I had sought out a counselor and I had been honest about a lot of the stuff that was going on in my heart, it wouldn't have taken 10 years. But I didn't until much later. And so I worked through that kind of on my own by standing up and trying to make it look like I had it figured out, I had accepted responsibility for me. I started reading books and listening to things and talking to people and trying to internalize that, but doing it on my own. And it wasn't until much, much later that I brought other people into that conversation and that's when I was able to really start experiencing true healing, if you will, or really getting to a place where I was moving forward in a real way other than just kind of fighting through it.

Speaker 2: 21:26

Right now. You know it's crazy Cause I've noticed that about a lot of us it's when it, when it comes to. You know we like to keep our own personal battles to ourselves, but you know we we preach to others. Hey, tell us what. What's going on, tell us. You know exactly.

Speaker 3: 21:45

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah, we say battle buddy, we say all this stuff and like you need to be honest and transparent and whatever, but we're not any of those things Right. Yeah, we're really good at preaching but really bad at receiving. And yeah, I mean, that was, that was definitely me and, and you know, I can see this in hindsight. But if, a year into that thing, I said look, I've got a problem, I'm accepting responsibility and I need to sit down and actually get help from someone and bring some other people into my life, but it did take longer because I just it was, it was more than 10 years before I was willing to sit down and actually tell someone like I'm really hurting and I'm having problems and I know it and I don't know how to get forward or move forward from here.

Speaker 2: 22:31

No that that it all makes sense, it sounds. It sounds like something you know, it sounds familiar, it's. It's something that we've. I've done myself, so I know what you mean by that. So with the Mighty Oats Foundation, okay. So y'all have locations all over the United States.

Speaker 3: 22:57

We do so again, we've been blessed with some great partners and so we don't currently own we own property for our offices and that kind of thing, but we don't own a facility that we do our program on. We have five different locations across the country California, texas, ohio and Virginia. Two of those are in Texas and there are folks who have either like retreat centers, you know those kind of it's a great setting, kind of like a ranch setting, think of that in each one of those locations and they give us exclusive use to it. So we've got some great partners come along, folks who love veterans and want to serve, and so we run our programs it's a week long in one of those locations across the country and we bring folks to us. So it's it's pretty neat. Yeah, it's pretty neat.

Speaker 2: 23:45

And there's so many different communities and state out, there's, you know, different States that care about our veterans and our first responders, and maybe I'm, you know, I'm partial because Texas is my home state, but I honestly want to say that Texas is one of the best state. But I honestly want to say that Texas is one of the best.

Speaker 3: 24:04

If Texas had California weather and geography, it'd be a great state.

Speaker 3: 24:10

Hey, you're right, I'm not going to lie on that, but when it comes to treating our veterans, yeah, texas is great about treating veterans right and I mean that's why we made the decision to settle here. So we had our headquarters in California and it was great. California, you know, has a lot of problems, I'm not going to argue that, but more veterans in California than anywhere else in the country and you know, california is, particularly where we were near Camp Pendleton, generally pretty, pretty supportive veterans, but as a, as a state for sure, texas is definitely pro-military and pro-veteran, which is great.

Speaker 2: 24:45

So what is your current position at the foundation currently?

Speaker 3: 24:49

Yeah, I'm the CEO, so oversee the kind of the operations of what we do. We've got an incredible team, we've got a great programs team that runs all those programs, and then you know our admin teams and we've got some incredible employees that make it happen. So my job is to pretend like I'm in charge of everything, to take credit, you know, but also to know that all the work is done by people who are much more capable than me. So we again, we've been blessed man. So we again, we've been blessed man.

Speaker 2: 25:31

We've grown from just two guys trying to make it happen to a national organization that has, you know, thousands of folks every year. Man, congratulations on that. It looks like y'all are doing an amazing thing, and I'm sure you are doing amazing things.

Speaker 3: 25:41

I didn't mean to say it looks like you.

Speaker 2: 25:42

Yeah, I know what you mean, so are you also an author.

Speaker 3: 25:48

Yeah, I've written a number of books. We have produced some resources for kind of the work that we do. You know a lot of folks that we talk to, so a book on post-traumatic stress disorder, a book on resiliency and a book recently that just came out on suicide, and you know what we can do about that. We try to write all of those books from the perspective not of there is a problem, because we know there's a problem, but how do we address the problem, and so that's what those resources are for. On our website they're free downloads, so we just want people to have those. And then I've written a couple of other books. I wrote a book about my time in Iraq called March or Die, and stories from when I was in Iraq and then making application to life. You know your voice is only so big and can only get to so many people, and so you try to produce resources that will allow people to get the help that they need.

Speaker 2: 26:49

No, that makes sense. What, what, what was your initial push to do your first book?

Speaker 3: 26:55

So the first one was that book March or Die, and I had, um, I want to say it was on the 10th anniversary of going into Iraq that I just started to write some things down and I look at most events in life and try to go okay, what are the lessons that can be distilled? Right, I'm a big like what are the 10 things? Kind of person. Right, I'm a big like what are the 10 things? Kind of kind of person, and so I started to think about some of the times that we had and some of the things that we did and some of the specific events that took place when we were in iraq, and then started to ask what are the lessons that I can learn from that? So this is for me personally. And then again, I think it was on the 10th anniversary I did a blog post. I had a personal blog, did a blog post about some of those things and just posted it, and a lot of the guys that I had served with got ahold of it and started sending it around and and it was received really well. And then someone said you know, you should put this in a book, and so I did and it and mostly it was for me and just you know, anyone that would benefit from it, which I thought would be the guys I served with and me, and that was it. So telling a story of something that happened in Iraq. And then you know, the second part of that is and here's the lesson and lining that out. So there's 12 lessons in the book and and it man, it did, it did really well and it resonated with a lot of people. So that was the first one is very personal.

Speaker 3: 28:21

And then the second one was a leadership book. I, I learned leadership in the Marine Corps, then I learned leadership like in the ministry, and they didn't really connect. And so I had to ask myself an approach, right, yeah, different approaches. So what, what is leadership? Fundamentally? Right, like, not how do you do it, but what is it? It's not this and it's not that, but there has to be something that is leadership, what is it?

Speaker 3: 28:46

And so, um, again, as a project to help me understand it, I wrote that book and um, uh, try to come to some definitions and some ideas about what real leadership looks like in any environment. And that was a help to me and and, uh, some other folks who found it helpful, helpful as well. So environment, and that was a help to me, and some other folks have found it helpful as well. So, yeah, I write. You know, when I've written it's all been pretty personal. I don't I've been taught so many things by so many people. You know, I've been in ministry a long time, but I never went to college for ministry, so what I've learned has been people sharing their stories with me and reading books and trying to learn from the experiences of others, and so when I write, it really is just about I've learned this and I want to share it with you, and so that seems to be the best way to communicate with other people.

Speaker 2: 29:35

What was your original degree in Criminal justice? Wow, you got to get everywhere with that right.

Speaker 3: 29:43

Yeah, I figured, if the Marine Corps doesn't work out, then I'll go into law enforcement like that was my whole thought. My parents said you have to go to college. And uh, I didn't want to. I didn't do great in high school. I knew I wasn't going to do great in college, right, um? And so I'm like well, if I have to be there, I wouldn't mind studying criminal justice for four years and maybe I'll become a police officer someday.

Speaker 3: 30:02

Um so yeah, that's what I did. And then over the years I've I've started uh college again several times. I just haven't finished Cause I feel like I'm always involved in the work and I don't have time to get the degree.

Speaker 2: 30:15

So um, I think I'm on six. I think I'm on six. Start overs right now.

Speaker 3: 30:22

I don't think I have six, but I'm pretty close. I'm like one class into a lot of programs.

Speaker 2: 30:27

Oh, yeah, life, life happens, man, it gets, it gets, it gets crazy. So so you're also, you do a lot of motivational speaking, correct.

Speaker 3: 30:38

Yeah, again, that's born out of our experience here at Mighty Oaks and talking to people about resiliency and about moving forward and hope and all those topics, approaching those from a faith perspective, and then just kind of my own journey and some of the things that I've learned personally and trying to communicate that with other people. Yeah, it kind of the whole principle that what we do is built on is and this is why it works, I think, for veterans. It's not a professional talking down to other people, it's us going. Hey, I know where you've been because I've been there. I've experienced what you've experienced or something similar.

Speaker 3: 31:18

I don't have it all figured out, but I have learned a few things. I'm a few steps further down the road than you and I want to take you with me and so, whether it's writing or speaking or teaching or whatever that's it, man it's I've learned some things. I want to share it with you and you can move forward, and I know that because I've been able to move forward and I want to help you do the same and it's a whole different approach when it's different when you're receiving advice from someone who's been there and done that.

Speaker 2: 31:45

You know I could if I gave you advice, and everything I learned was in a textbook is totally different than what I've experienced.

Speaker 3: 31:54

Yeah, and that's that's one of the reasons that what we do at Mighty Oaks works, because when someone comes to one of our our our programs right, it's five days long and veterans are super cynical and don't want to listen to anyone, right.

Speaker 3: 32:05

But when they come to our program, they're sitting in a room full of other veterans or active duty service members and the person standing in front of them everyone who works for us came through our program as a student and then we brought them through this year-long leadership training program, and so everyone in the room has a shared background it's probably not exactly the same, but similar background. And so there's no walls, right, Kick the walls down. Nobody cares. Nobody here is going to thank you for your service, right? Nobody cares, we're all exactly the same. So let's just get busy. And we just want to help you move forward, because we had some people help us move forward, and we just want to help you move forward because we had some people help us move forward, and we just want to help you do the same. And, yeah, the approach is so different but so effective.

Speaker 2: 32:50

Right, yeah, that that's a I I understand. Hey, with with everything that you have going on in your life uh, mighty oats, uh, speaking engagements, book writing. How do you got time for jujitsu? Man Mighty Oats speaking engagements book writing. How do you got time for jujitsu?

Speaker 3: 33:07

man. Well, if anything goes, it's the jujitsu. You know what's funny? So my son, he's a police officer now, my oldest son. When he was like 11 years old, he said he wanted to be a police officer and he was like a fat little 11-year-old kid, right. He loved video games and staying inside. That was his whole thing. And I'm like, look man, you're never going to be a professional athlete. So I want you to learn something and I want you to get involved in something physical that that will be a skill you can take with you and you want to be in law enforcement someday. He's a little kid, you want to be in law enforcement someday. You need to learn. You know these types of skills. And so we got him into a jiu-jitsu gym and he loved it. I mean just took to it and he would stay. And we dropped him off some days and he'd stay there for four hours worth of class and he would just love it.

Speaker 3: 33:54

Well, you know, 11, 12, 13 years old, he's getting bigger and jiu-jitsu is a thing that if you learn the technique you can deal with somebody bigger than you. So it got to the point where I'm like we're wrestling around in the house and one day we're wrestling around the house, he's like 13, maybe, and he took my back. I didn't know jujitsu, I just kind of wrestled a little bit. He took my back and I thought he was going to put me out. And I think the next day I went and signed up for a class because I'm like this kid man he's not going to take me out. So I started jiu-jitsu because that's where he was.

Speaker 3: 34:25

And then eventually all my kids are trained and and uh most of them still do, and so you know they're there all the time and I wanted to be with them and so I started training with them and, um, yeah, so it's it's kind of a family thing. It is harder. It's harder when you're on the road, but I get in there when I can now that's got to be amazing.

Speaker 2: 34:44

Uh, uh, bonding, you know event for the family. I mean that you know. Hey, you made, you made your brother mad.

Speaker 3: 34:52

Now go go check him out yeah, yeah, my wife hates it because, uh, my boys think it's fun to, you know, grapple with her when she doesn't want to be grappled with. Oh yeah, they're pummeling, uh underhooks in the kitchen. But, um, it has been great and it has given us a common ground. You know, I could talk about jiu-jitsu for a while, but I think jiu-jitsu is a very important skill for kids. I think it teaches them a lot of really important lessons, just that they can apply to their lives. But but as a family, it's been great because we're we're there together, we're doing the thing together, you're learning together. It's been, it's been great for us and me and my boy. I have two girls and two boys and my girls have both trained, my boys still both trained, and it's been the best bonding thing I could have with my, with my son.

Speaker 2: 35:42

Did any of your kids ever express interest about joining the service?

Speaker 3: 35:47

My, my son, who is a police officer at one time and talked about the Marine Corps, maybe a reservist or something. So he talked about it but then kind of, the steps to becoming a police officer started unfolding and so he just pursued that. My 14 year old he's my youngest wants to be a paramedic and he is very focused on. I want to be a paramedic eventually, but I'd like to go into the military to get my medical training. So he wants to be a corpsman. Now again, he's 14. We'll see how that all shakes out right, but yeah, man, he's as focused as a 14 year old can be on going into the navy and becoming corpsman. So so we'll see what happens there that's incredible, man.

Speaker 2: 36:26

You're raising a bunch of superheroes, for sure. I don't know about that.

Speaker 3: 36:30

I need to tone down the military rhetoric apparently. Why do you want to go in the military? He's like, because you talk about it every day.

Speaker 2: 36:37

I'm like, oh, okay, yeah yeah, well, nah, I mean, and girls, what are they doing? Yeah, I didn't mean to get too personal, I was just no that's all right.

Speaker 3: 36:46

No, so on the other end of the spectrum, my oldest she's 24, is an accountant. So I have an accountant and a police officer. And then I have a 16 year old daughter. She's in high school, she wants to be a nurse, and then my 14 year old wants to be a paramedic. So, yeah, they're kind of all over the place.

Speaker 2: 37:11

You're just missing a lawyer in there. You got yeah. We got yeah, that's awesome, man, that's that's amazing. What. What do you have? What do you have on your schedule the next few months? Any events you got coming up, what do you?

Speaker 3: 37:22

have on your schedule the next few months? Any events you got coming up. We've got a few speaking events, man off the top of my head, I know they're coming up, but those are all on our website and the Mighty Oak social media keeps that updated too, so if someone is in an area, they can find us, and we're always involved in something.

Speaker 2: 37:45

So I was going to ask you so, out of everybody in your life that you've met, who has been your biggest influence on your life? Um, your father, correct? Is that what? I think you had said it earlier yeah, my dad definitely.

Speaker 3: 37:56

if there's one person, there have been a lot of great influences on my life. If there's one person, it would be my dad. You know, from the time I was very young until I mean last last night, I've been going through a few things recently and and still my dad, you know, is the one I call and talk to and and walks me through that and and has always been that person. I've been. I've been really blessed to have just some incredible people in my life. So I mean my dad, obviously, huge kind of oversized influence in my life. But military leaders I mean some of the folks that I worked for when I was in the Marine Corps over 20 years ago still keep in touch with me and still, I would say, influence me and some of that's influence that they had when I was at that Kind of moldable stage of life and and some of it has been just over the years they felt to me.

Speaker 3: 38:51

Friends and other people have come into my life. I've been very blessed out of the right people in my life and I don't know where I learned it or where I was taught it, but the one thing that I have always respected I guess I haven't always sought it out, but I've always respected is when people speak into your life, you need to listen, right. And so, again, I I mentioned this earlier I did a terrible job seeking that out, but when those people have come into my life, um, I've thankfully listened and learned an awful lot, so a lot of good people.

Speaker 2: 39:24

That's, that's awesome. Give us a. What is something that you you wish you would have known 10 years ago? Oh, 10 years ago.

Speaker 3: 39:33

There's so many things I wish I would have known 10 years ago. I think one thing that I wish I would have known 10 years ago, and I continue to learn now, is what I just talked about. You need to surround yourself with the right people not just people, but the right people. You need to have people in your life that you can influence. You need to have people in your life. You know that you're working to influence, and then you need to have people in your life that can speak into your life, that are influencing you.

Speaker 3: 40:00

One of the conversations that I seem to have often is this idea of we call it mentorship.

Speaker 3: 40:06

It's called different things, but there need to be some people in your life that care about you but are not emotionally invested in the decisions that you make.

Speaker 3: 40:20

This is something that I've been really growing into, so people that care about you, but if you shipwreck your life, it's not going to shipwreck their life, right? So my wife cares about me, my kids care about me, my family cares about me, but if I blow up, they blow up too, right, right, right, and so they have an emotional, very vested interest in the stuff I do, which means it's hard for them to look at it from kind of the outsider's perspective. I need somebody that can look at my life and speak the truth, because whatever I do will have no impact. I mean, they care about you but it's not going to change their life, and so finding those people it can be tough, but you need that person. I care about you, I want you to do the right thing, but I don't have a vested you know emotional interest in whether or not you do the right thing, and so I can give you an objective outsider's view. That has become more and more important to me over the years.

Speaker 2: 41:19

That makes a lot of sense. I wanted to speak into your life. I like that. Yeah, that's amazing. So just a couple more questions, man, I'm going to get out of your life. I like that. Yeah, that's amazing. So just a couple more questions, man, I'm going to get out of your hair. Hey, do you have a?

Speaker 3: 41:30

bucket list. A bucket list, you know, I have. I've never had a bucket list, but I started a few years ago running ultra marathons and and what's an ultra marathon? So, an ultra marathon, it can be a lot of different things, but it's a it's. It's a race longer than a marathon. A marathon is 26.2 miles, so it's anything longer than that would be considered ultra, right, it's beyond the 26.2.

Speaker 3: 41:58

So, um, one of the things that I'd always wanted to do.

Speaker 3: 42:02

I've been a runner since I was a little kid and I've never liked it, I've never enjoyed it, but it's I'm, I'm built like a runner and I it's.

Speaker 3: 42:10

It's something that's always been a part of my health regimen, right? So so I started hearing about people who did these ultra marathons, and so one thing I always wanted to do is kind of run a long race like that, and so I think four years ago now, I signed up for, uh, 50k, which is 32 miles, 31 and a half miles, and that was kind of the thing I was going to do and I did that and then, like a lot of things, man it, it got out of control. So I did that, I did a bunch of those, I did 100k, I did 100 miler last year, so, um, I've got a few races on my bucket list, I guess that I'd like to do before I die, but it just gives me something to pursue and to stay healthy for, but nothing. I'm really thankful for the life I've been able to live and I want to keep adding meaning and value to people's lives, but I don't have any big things other than you know, stuff like that, I guess.

Speaker 2: 43:08

Hey, would yourself, at 12 years old, think that you were cool right now?

Speaker 3: 43:14

Well, I have two teenage kids and they don't think I'm cool at all. So, no, I don't think so. I don't think so. Man, it's hard when you're that age to think someone like me is cool. I have a complex, actually, because my teenagers are relentless. But uh, yeah, no, I don't think they think I was cool. I hope they'd be. I hope a 12 year old me would be proud of me right now. Yeah, um, but no, I think they think I have some real problems with you know, dressing and the way I talk and the time I go to bed and things like that.

Speaker 2: 43:42

My girls they let me have it. It's abusive, it is, it is. We'll be at church and I grab a second donut. My little one will look at me and go. You think you need that, yeah.

Speaker 3: 43:57

Get out of here, leave me alone.

Speaker 2: 44:01

Yeah, that's funny. What is the worst advice you ever received in your life? The worst advice, the worst advice.

Speaker 3: 44:11

I think the worst advice that I ever received, that anyone can receive, is follow your heart. Do what makes you happy. I believe in being happy, I believe in experiencing joy and doing those things, but if we set as the objective of our life pursuing our heart, which is entirely selfish and entirely self-serving and entirely about us, then we're going to hurt a lot of people and eventually we won't be happy, even though we're following our heart. Do whatever you have to to be happy.

Speaker 3: 44:46

Again, that's so self-centered and self-focused, and I think a life well lived is a life that's lived for others. And I think, when you get to the end of your life, what will bring you peace and happiness and contentment is knowing that you didn't get it right all the time, but that you did what you could with the resources that you had to be a blessing to other people, to encourage other people to help other people. And so this silly notion that you need to be a blessing to other people, to encourage other people to help other people, and so this silly notion that you need to follow your heart or whatever it's just to say we need to follow what makes us emotionally satisfied, is just terrible advice and a lot of people pursue that and end up in some very dark places or very alone.

Speaker 2: 45:27

I've never heard it said that way and that was absolutely amazing. Jesus, you just got me thinking about some some approach, Just trying to make you think. Definitely did. Okay, On the other side, what is the? What is the best advice you ever received?

Speaker 3: 45:49

I mean, I think the best advice I've ever received is, you know, is live for other people. I, again, I don't remember a person giving me that advice, but the people that I've always looked up to in my life, and the leaders that I respect are, are people who lived for the benefit of other people, are people who lived for the benefit of other people, and that's, I mean, I think that's the best advice any of us could give. I believe that God equips us all differently. He gives us all different resources and opportunities and all of those things, but I think we are given the opportunities, the resources, the skills, the talents, all that stuff. I think we're given all of that not for our own benefit but to be a benefit to other people. And so the best advice I would give, could give is use what God's given you to bless other people, to other people.

Speaker 2: 46:44

Wow Dang, that was perfectly answered. You left me at a speechless moment and that doesn't happen very often. Well, I'm glad I could help. Hey, did you have any closing?

Speaker 3: 47:06

comments anything you'd like to say. Man, the only thing I'd like to say other than thank you, and I'm really appreciative of the opportunity is, you know, for anyone interested in what we do, just visit our website and know this there's no cost to the programs that we offer, and even the cost of travel we cover that so we can help you get to where you need to be, to get that, get that help, so it's free to you. That's not free. We work hard to raise that money, but we want to make it possible for anyone who needs help to get it. So go to our website, mightyoaksprogramsorg and to fill out the application and we'll take care of the rest.

Speaker 2: 47:44

Jeremy, it's been a pleasure. Man, Thank you for jumping on the show and chatting with me a little bit. I'm going to share your information so people can reach out, Not your information, but how to reach you. Yeah, perfect. Again, thank you for joining me on the show, man. Thank you, man, it's awesome. Thank you, We'll talk to you later. Thank you for tuning in. Guys know that we love you and we're always here if you need anything. If you or a friend are in crisis, please dial 988, or you can actually text 988. If you're a military veteran, press 1. As always, you guys, thank you for tuning in to the show and Charlie Mike.