Building Your Money Machine

How to Go from Job to Entrepreneur with Amy Porterfield

• Mel H Abraham, CPA, CVA, ASA • Season 2 • Episode 124

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Are you tired of the daily 9-5 grind and ready to call the shots as your own boss? If so, buckle up because today's episode is one you won't want to miss!

Join me as I delve into a fascinating conversation with my friend, Amy Porterfield, about her upcoming book, Two Weeks Notice, which offers advice for anyone considering making the leap from corporate life to entrepreneurship. Amy will take us on a journey through her experiences and the lessons she learned along the way, giving us a behind-the-scenes look at what it takes to become your own boss.

Amy is a leading expert in online marketing, who has successfully built a multi-million-dollar digital course business. She is passionate about empowering new entrepreneurs to take control of their finances and turn their knowledge, ideas, and skills into profitable online businesses.

So, if you're ready to take control of your finances and live your entrepreneurial dreams, hit play, and let's get started!

IN TODAY’S EPISODE, I DISCUSS: 

  • Amy's own journey from corporate life to entrepreneurship
  • The common challenges faced by those making the transition
  • The importance of having a clear business plan

CONNECT WITH AMY:
Visit her website: www.amyporterfield.com
Listen to her podcast: amy-porterfield-podcast
Pre-order her book and get a bunch of bonuses: Two Weeks Notice

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OTHER RESOURCES:

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GET MY BOOK:
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Mel Abraham  0:00  
Oh my god, this episode is epic, I had a chance to have a conversation with my dear dear friend, Amy Porterfield. We're talking about her upcoming book two and a half weeks. Listen, if you're trying to figure out another way to generate income to boost whether it's a side side hustle or get into business on your own, to figure out how do you transition from a nine to five, this is the episode for you. And that is the book for we're going to talk about the whole process of, of transitioning the whole process of how she did it, what it takes a plan to make it happen in this episode. So here's what I want you to do, I want you to get a pad of paper I want you get a pen or your iPad with the Apple Pencil, I want you to sit down, grab a coffee, take notes, and then go execute. Enjoy the episode. See. This is the affluent entrepreneurs show for entrepreneurs that want to operate at a high level and achieve financial liberation. I'm your host, Mel Abraham, and I'll be sharing with you what it takes to create success beyond wealth. So you can have a richer, more fulfilling lifestyle. In this show, you'll learn how business and money intersect. So you can scale your business, scale your money, and scale your life while creating a deeper impact and living with complete freedom. Because that's what it really means to be an a affluent entrepreneur.

Mel Abraham  1:27  
Hey there, Amy, so glad you're here. I mean, can we've known each other for so long, and now we get a chance to have this conversation.

Amy Porterfield  1:34  
I'm so happy to be here. You're right. We have known each other for a very long time. We recently got to spend a weekend together, which was so much fun. So it's good to see you again.

Mel Abraham  1:44  
It really is. And I'm, I'm so excited about what we get a chance to talk about, you know, for those you that that maybe know, Amy, but don't know what's going on. Amy's got this amazing book coming out. But I think the most important thing is, as we've talked about, from a financial standpoint, how do we find independence? How do we actually live a life that is our own doing of our own calling, which is this book that two weeks notice is is really all about that. And so what I'd love to do is just First off, let's just go back a little bit because this kind of was something that happened. Early on, you saw you sat in a boardroom or you sat in a meeting room with with a bunch of well, let's call it a bunch of dudes from the internet marketing space. Can you tell us about that? Because I think it sets the stage for where you are and how far you've come because it's an amazing journey.

Amy Porterfield  2:41  
So I've been I was a corporate girl, I thought I'd be a corporate girl for life, I was really good at being an employee I like to be every other week paycheck. I like the paid vacations. I like the benefits actually like to be led. So I knew what I needed to do. And then I could do it even better than everyone else and get the promotions and the awards. Like I was a really good corporate girl. And my last nine to five job was was with Tony Robbins and I was the director of content development. And I got to travel the world work on the content that Tony does on stage Unleash the Power Within date with destiny. I mean, it was a good job. And one day I found myself like you said in a board room with a bunch of dudes that were all business owners. They were online business owners, a lot of internet marketers, they had courses, masterminds, memberships, all stuff I really didn't know a lot about humbly enough, I was brought into the room to take notes. So I was sitting at a side table taking notes, Tony went around and said, Tell me about your businesses. And all I heard was freedom. I heard about financial freedom, lifestyle, freedom, creativity, freedom. These guys were doing what they wanted when they wanted how they wanted totally on their terms. Interestingly enough, they talked a lot about their personal lives, their relationships, the vacations they get to take with their families the the time off they had, and instantly I thought I put my pen down, like, what is happening in this room. What are these guys doing? I knew nothing about entrepreneurship or about that world. But I didn't know I wanted freedom. It was the first time I realized I want to be free. I didn't want to be told what to do when to do it or how to do it. I didn't want to build somebody else's dream. And that's exactly what I was doing. So that was the moment I realized, oh, it's time to figure something else out. I've got to make a change.

Mel Abraham  4:33  
So so cool. So this was it was a moment that you said I have to make a change but the change didn't happen right away right.

Amy Porterfield  4:42  
So it took a good year from that moment. To the day I drove out of those San Diego offices in my little white car. And the Beatles came on the radio. Here comes the sun. And I thought oh, this is a sign like this is going to work now. It was the hardest two years of my life after that we can get to that later. But it took me a good year to leave. And what I write about in two weeks notice is a runway, if you are looking to leave your nine to five job, you want more financial freedom, lifestyle, freedom, we got to get a plan together. And I know you teach planning you, you are a proponent of planning. And I think even when leaving your job, you need a plan. So real quick, let me run you through what that plan looks like. Number one, you got to get clear on your why why do you want to be your own boss? Why do you want to be an entrepreneur, because without a why I promise you on day one, it's going to be hard. It's a whole different life. And if you don't have a really good why a mission, you're easily going to go back to maybe I'm not cut out to be an entrepreneur, maybe this isn't going to work. But if you really are clear why you want it on the days, your worries, knock you down your why will pick you back up, we need a good why. And it can be anything you want, it just has to mean something to you. Number two, we got to look at our finances. And this is where you come in, you could really help a lot of people do this, and I know you already do, we got to get clear on our finances. What does that look like? How much money do we actually need to make to cover our expenses each month? Sometimes for people if you're lucky, you don't even need to make as much as you're making in your nine to five job. Because that first year as an entrepreneur, you're gonna get scrappy, you've got to make sacrifices, that's not the year you get a new car, remodel your house and go on a vacation. Like you are really definitely living a very simple life. Any money you make you pay the bills, or you invest it back in your business. That's entrepreneurship in the very beginning. And so get clear on your finances, what can you do, I just talked to our good friend, Jonathan fields. And he said, he didn't have like an exit date, which I'm going to tell you about next, he didn't have an exit date, he had an amount of money he wanted to save before he left, that's where he was going to fill his security, because we're leaving a job which is secure for the unknown. So he needed a little security. So he saved up nine months of living expenses before he went out on his own. So people do this in different ways. That's one way you can look at it. The third thing you need to do is you need to choose an exit date. And so I believe this is really important for me, I was in that meeting. And for the next six months, I started to explore what I might do in my own business. I started to listen to more entrepreneurial podcasts, I started to buy all the books, I bought some digital courses, I started to educate myself. But once six months hit, I thought, Okay, I'm gonna do this. But if I don't choose a date, I'm never going to do that. I had golden handcuffs, which I think actually some of people in your audience can relate to this. Yeah, I had a good job. I got paid well, I worked with a really cool guy. I got to travel the world, but I wasn't free. And I was working crazy long hours. So the golden handcuffs like kept me there probably longer than I needed to. Because it was good. It was cushy. It was amazing. But I knew it wasn't what I wanted. So at that point, I said, okay, in six months, I am leaving, I wrote the date on a post it note, put it on the mirror where I would see it regularly. And I would ask myself this question every day, what do I need to do today to get me closer to that goal that date? And it might mean that I need to listen to a podcast by a specific book, make a call to an entrepreneurial friend of mine and ask them questions, whatever it is, every day, I had to act in think like an entrepreneur before I was even one. And that really helped me. So that's kind of what my runway look like in order to get me out that door. I think the most important thing is committing to a date.

Mel Abraham  8:32  
So I love this for a couple reasons. One, the first financial principle I tell people is why before how and how

Amy Porterfield  8:38  
much. Oh, I love that. Okay, great.

Mel Abraham  8:41  
Because God come and they say I want to have a million dollars in the bank. Why? Because society says so because it's an arbitrary number. Because you're right. It's driven by money isn't? It's not it's a result. It's not a purpose. And I think we need to think through that. The second thing that I think is so important that everyone that's watching and listening, hears is this idea of an exit date. Yes. Dear friend of mine, Bo Eason would always say it's important to schedule your fears.

Amy Porterfield  9:15  
Oh, I love that. I might have to steal that one. Oh

Mel Abraham  9:18  
my God. Because Because what happens when you schedule just like you did is that once you have that date, and you're staring at it on the mirror, every day, you're asking yourself, What did I do today to get me closer to that moment? It's this. It's this thing. I just did an episode where I was talking about the difference between wants and wills. Hmm. Because well, the whole idea is that so many people will say I want this I want this I want this. But a want is actually a soft goal. But when we make a declaration that I will do this, it's A declaration and a commitment. People freak out about that. And I said, so you don't want to have 20 wills, you'll probably have two or three in a year, that are big ones that you declare and you commit to. And it completely shifts how you show up every day.

Amy Porterfield  10:15  
Yes, I love this. I love it too. I love that wants versus wills. Yes.

Mel Abraham  10:21  
So when you look at this, because you talk about a concept that I think is really an interesting concept. And I this, I think you're the one that coined the term, you know, and that is this idea of unboxing. And when when I first heard you talk about a girl, who that's intriguing I want, and I came up to you, and I said, I said, Hey, I want to talk more about this concept of unboxing. Because when I read it, I go, it's cool. But when you said something about I go, Oh, no, that's even cool. I think that can you explain this? The thought of unboxing? Where it came from? What does it mean? And how do we how do we do this?

Amy Porterfield  11:01  
Yeah, so it's one of my most favorite topics to talk about, because it's the one thing I struggled with the most and made many mistakes around it. So when you think about unboxing, it's funny, I saw someone write about it. They're like I loved when Amy was talking about unboxing. And I'm like, oh, no, no, that's not what it is, is unboxing. And it's this concept of starting to believe that you do not need to be led by anyone else. But yourself really stepping into, I'm going to call the shots, I'm going to believe that I can figure this out. And I will troubleshoot anything that comes my way. It's a belief thinking or knowing that you can be your own boss. Now, it sounds like such a simple concept. Like, okay, I'm going to start believing I could lead myself, it's actually very ingrained in us to have a boss. For me, here's what it looked like, I grew up with a really strict father, his way or the highway, he was my very first boss, he taught me what it looked like to be led. From there, I had a bunch of bosses in my corporate jobs, usually all male. And the problem was for me, and some people can relate. I wanted validation from my dad, I didn't get it as much as I wanted. So I kind of took that we take a lot of our challenges in our home life into our work life, I started looking at my bosses and I wanted validation from them. It's really easy to get validation from a boss, you just go above and beyond you become a Yes, girl, you do all that they want. And then more you work weekends, you work nights, you go on the trips that no one else wants to go on. It's easy to get validation in the work world when you're gonna kill yourself to get it. And so I got really good at going above and beyond. And I really thrived in this environment. Until that day that I realized, wait a second, this is actually not the path I want. So when I started to think I wanted freedom, I wasn't like all the sudden ready to be my own boss. I went out on my own a year later. And I started to run my business. And then all of a sudden, I was doing consulting for small businesses, I was doing their social media as well. And I always joke instead of having one big boss, literally Tony's a big guy. All of a sudden, I had eight mini bosses, these clients of mine that I literally let treat me like their employee, anything they wanted done. I said, Yes, I was so desperate to make money and scared I would lose it that I would just say yes, everywhere. So I stepped right into still having bosses. But then it got really bad. A few years into my own business. It was I think the third or fourth year, I almost hit a million dollars in my business. That's a lot. That's like a really big goal for most of us as entrepreneurs have your official. Yes, exactly. So I was almost at the million dollar mark. And I was in a mastermind with some of my peers. And there was a guy there that was doing awesome things in his business. And he was just crushing it. And I'm like, can you help me do that? Mine, I want more of that. And one day, he said, Why don't I become a business partner with you. We go 5050 On your business, and I'll teach you everything I know and help you get to huge levels in your business. Now I'd like to tell you that it took me weeks to decide if I was going to give up partners partnership in my business if I was going to give someone 5050 I'd like to say that I talked to a lot of people, a lot of mentors, a lawyer. I did not have that. In one night sleep. I woke up the next morning and I said yes. I still hadn't unbossed myself and felt like I needed somebody else to guide me. And in my case, I thought I needed a man to help me. And so I let him be 5050 partner and we crushed it for years. Funny enough. You met me right at the tail end of that where I was a shattered mess. But that's a story for another day. But we crushed it together. And then I realized holy cow, I have literally become an employee again. We would get on a call. We would talk for 20 minutes I'd get off the call, I'd have 20 action items to his zero. I would call him and say oh no, I'm having a problem. What should I do? Do You think this is good. I would love when he'd congratulate me after a launch, I'm embarrassed by all of this. For the record. This is the one story I did not want to tell in my book, but it's the truth. So I went right back into having a boss, I will not give the whole story away. Because one morning, I woke up and thought, I don't like this. I don't want this. I once and for all going to learn how to lead myself and never ever do this again. A year later, after a lot, lots of stress and almost losing my business, we finally came to a resolution, that part I tell him the book, it's pretty gnarly, but we did it. I tell you all of this Mel to say that if you can learn to unbox yourself early, if you can start doing the journaling, the meditating, reading books about how to lead yourself, if you can really put in the work, you will not have all of that angst and trauma that I had of not being able to let go of someone else leading me it is essential to your growth.

Mel Abraham  15:57  
I couldn't agree more. I mean, so just in in your kind of your studies in your journey. I'm curious what you found as far as what keeps people from bossing themselves. 

Amy Porterfield  16:10  
Hmm,I love this question. Number one, not believing they are worthy. This is the number one thing that comes up a lot with the women I work with. But I'm know that some men are shaking their heads as well, right now, this feeling that I am not worthy, I am not deserving. A lot of the times in the early days for me, a success would happen. And I'd look around waiting for the other shoe to drop. If something good happened to me something bad was going to happen. Classic case of self sabotage. So I just didn't feel worthy of the success. And so I kept looking for validation and other people that have helped me, I think that's a big one. Another one is that we don't have proof that we can do it on our own. If you've always had a boss, I had zero proof that I could create a business or do this on my own. This is the number one reason why most people don't leave like what if this doesn't work? What are people going to think? What does it say about me? So in the book, my subtitle is find the courage to leave your nine to five job, not the competence. I believe courage and competence are dramatically different. Confidence is what people are looking for. But you don't have competence. So you have a track record. Look, look what I did. Alright, I'm feeling a little good. I can do that. Again, I could do it better. That's confidence. Courage is I have no idea if this is going to work. But I'm going to take a leap of faith, I'm going to believe the universe has my back. And I will figure out whatever comes my way, we need to tap into courage. Let's not look for competence in the beginning. Let's look for courage. If you look for courage, you'll take that leap.

Mel Abraham  17:39  
So good, because I totally agree with you. And I hope that everyone's hearing that that that courage is more important, the confidence will come later. It's an interesting thing, because so many people I see don't make a decision because they're afraid of making the wrong decision. I said, we actually make a decision not to get to a destination, we make a decision to get more information so we can make a better decision. Yes, and it doesn't set, it doesn't set a path until you put all the decisions together.

Amy Porterfield  18:11  
Absolutely. It's so true. So

Mel Abraham  18:15  
and we follow your plan when we follow your plan, with the y with the finances with a plan and all of that the chances of doing something that that's terminal, are are slim. I mean, it can happen but but when you do it right, and you follow something that has a proven system and plan like you have the probability of success goes goes way up.

Amy Porterfield  18:40  
It's so true. And you know, I haven't talked about this concept yet on a lot of podcasts. But I want to bring it up when you said like that, you're likely not going to fail, but you are going to have a lot of failures along the way. And so I had my plan, I decided I saved a little money, not a lot. And I went out on my own. And the first launch that I did, I launched a product online, I made $267 When I thought I'd make $100,000 I really thought I'd make $100,000 everyone else seemed to be making $100,000 And I looked at that $267 And I thought I am a failure. And I sure as heck am not an entrepreneur, like there's no way this is going to work. And in that moment, I realized but wait a second, I promised to storm the island and burn the boats. This is something I learned from Tony early on, where I told myself there is no going back. You're not taking a freelance job from your old nine to five job, you're not going to another 95 job you will never work for someone again. I made that commitment. So when it didn't work very early on. I did think I wasn't cut out for it. I did tell my husband Hoby I'm probably going to have to gravel gravel back from my job. And he just said get up. Let's do this. Again, like having someone in your court whether it be a spouse, a friend, a family member not letting you go back is so incredibly important because as you know, male entrepreneurship can be very lonely if you let it.

Mel Abraham  20:08  
Yeah, it really is. And I'll tell you, I'm blessed with a beautiful and amazing partner.

Amy Porterfield  20:16  
You are in if if I was you, I'd marry her 100 times over. I am obsessed with Stephanie. I love her.

Mel Abraham  20:24  
Oh my god, and just having someone in your corner like you had Hoby. And, and even if it's not a spouse, like you said, a mentor a friend up here, that will will boost you up or kick you in the butt when you need it. I think it's huge. It's huge when we start to down this journey, because one thing's for certain the plan won't work as planned. One thing's for the other thing that's for certain is that we are going to have those stumbles along the way. But I don't think anything is absolutely terminal. I don't know. I'll real quickly. Got it is is this idea of terminal. I did a lot of webinars and you taught a lot about webinars and in this organization would have me come and do this. Do webinars? Well, this time I was actually doing the webinar. I was doing the tech and the talent. I rolled out of bed. I got my Superman pajama bottoms on no shirt. I get it. I do. It's just going to be slides. So they're not going to see me.

Amy Porterfield  21:23  
I'm freaked out right now.

Mel Abraham  21:25  
Let me tell you, I strap in with the headphones. So I am tethered to the computer. I start the webinar, there's 250 people on from an organization that everyone knows me because they gave me the Lifetime Achievement Award. And about two minutes in I see the chat going saying Mel's naked. He's not wearing a shirt. Stop it right now. Now, post it was never was never more important.

Amy Porterfield  21:57  
Oh my You didn't know you were on camera. 

Mel Abraham  22:01  
I had no, somehow I turned the webcam on go on go to webinar and had no idea until I saw this thing. And I thought they're going to oust me out of the organization, they're going to throw me out. I mean, I grabbed the post it notes, slapped it on the camera and kind of kept on going saying maybe they didn't see. But the crazy thing is, one, by the end of that program, I saw I literally sold $30,000 worth of consulting work. Okay. They kept they kept bringing me in to keynote their conferences. So I don't know if it means like.

Amy Porterfield  22:37  
Maybe it's your big muscles. Let's talk about it. But that's such a great story. Because you really that's embarrassing like that, that could like really derail someone like I'm never doing a webinar again, that freaks me out. And but you still showed up and not only did you keep showing up, they actually wanted you to because they loved you and you were getting offering great value, we're all gonna mess up. But that doesn't mean people aren't going to see our value through it.

Mel Abraham  23:09  
So true. So true. And and most of the mess ups are gonna be terminal. So keep on keeping the game because your dream that why that you talked about is the reason that we're in this game.

Amy Porterfield  23:21  
Absolutely. So very true. So good.

Mel Abraham  23:26  
All right. So going along this lines, I think that there's there's there is something you you mentioned finances. And as people are starting to think about this transition, there can be some anxiety, they may have kids at home, they may have other bills to pay, how, how do you help them navigate this money anxiety piece of a transition like this? So so they can, they can at least navigate it psychologically. And it doesn't it doesn't really stall them out or freeze them.

Amy Porterfield  24:01  
You know, I just had this idea that down the road, we're going to have you come on my podcast and talk about tactics. What are the tactics that you need to do in order to prepare for something like this? I think you are absolutely the expert of that. But I love that you said like, psychologically, how do you do this? And it comes down to your ability to let go of your need for absolute certainty and security. Because I listen, there's things you can do to prepare. And we talked a little bit about that. But the anxiety to me is also it's twofold. One, how much money do I have in the bank to how willing Am I to take some risks and actually do things that I've never done before with no guarantee? One of the things I've learned along the way with entrepreneurship is I have to get uncomfortable to grow. When I get cozy and comfortable in anything I'm doing. I promise you it's going to start to decline over time. I've done And that in other areas of my business, I sell digital courses, I do webinars in 2021, I didn't see the kind of results I had seen for years and years and years. And it really freaked me out. But then I thought, all right, let's get uncomfortable. Let's do some things I've never done before. And then next year, boom, we're back in business. And so I really think those that are freaked out to leave behind a steady paycheck. One, you've got to go back to your why. And to you have to really examine how willing you are to get uncomfortable and live in the uncertainty. Now there's things that you can do to ensure that when you leave, you have some money coming in, I love a side hustle, I did this, when I left my nine to five job, I actually started something on the side really small, but it making sure a little money could come in, because I didn't want my first day and entrepreneurship to say I hope I get a client, like I am not that risk adverse. So starting a side hustle, bringing a little money in nights, weekends, whenever you can, maybe for a good six months before you leave your nine to five job will allow you to ease some of that financial anxiety. So those are some of the things that I talk about in the book that I think are really important.

Mel Abraham  26:07  
So So and I think that this is it, maybe you talk about it more also is that there's two currencies that we need to think through. And there are those and here's what I mean by this. There are those that stay in their job that are that are mildly miserable for all of their existence, and they're doing it because they get a paycheck. So the only currency that they're dealing in is financial is US dollars, or euros or whatever it is. But there's another currency and that is esteem and self worth. And if we're not aligned with our journey, and and everything, we may make money, but we can be miserable while we're making the money. Whereas on this path, and especially the way you're telling them to navigate it, starting with the why first, you're making sure that the that you have that second currency in place. So you're actually getting paid in self esteem, self worth, psychologically through the journey, also, as well as through the dollars.

Amy Porterfield  27:21  
I like the idea of a second currency and looking at it like that and valuing these lessons you're learning and the strengths that you're gaining. As you also value the dollar. I think that's really valuable.

Mel Abraham  27:34  
Yeah, yeah. So now, if we, if we look at someone, and I've got just a couple more questions, as we get towards towards the close, I could talk to you for

Amy Porterfield  27:46  
hours, same friend, same.

Mel Abraham  27:50  
But if someone's looking at the possibility of leaving their nine to five, what would you tell them is the first step to do?

Amy Porterfield  28:01  
When they're thinking about leaving their nine to five, I can't suggest anything. But the first step, which is getting clear on why you want it, you really do need to do that. And I don't mean like a surface, why you want it like, oh, it'd be so great to be able to, you know, go on vacation whenever I want, or anything like that, like, Let's go deep on why you want it. And let's also include another step, I would say anyone thinking leaving their nine to five job, find a person or two that you really trust that you can confide in, and get them to be your accountability partner, because there's going to be days and this happened to me where you're on the path to leave your nine to five job, maybe you're three months out. And all of a sudden, you're saying well, this isn't that bad. I mean, we did just get a big bonus today. So I don't know, maybe I could stay. And that's when my husband swooped in and said you could do whatever you want. But let me remind you of what you told me. Let me remind you what you want. So I really do believe in a really good support system while you're on this journey of transitioning. So getting clear on your why and sharing it with a few people that will keep you accountable, I think are the perfect two steps to get started.

Mel Abraham  29:10  
So maybe this is a little personal. But let me ask you something. Because I think it's important, because I don't believe that a financial journey is an is an isolated journey. And you mentioned Hoby saying, Wait, do what you want. How you came to Hoby I assume that as you started up to navigate this, I mean, because I truly believe that we ought to be having these conversations with our significant others with our partners and hat and navigating this because it can bring you closer. Was that was that something that was easy or difficult for you to do? Or how did that how did that go?

Amy Porterfield  29:47  
So I was really blessed because Hobi thinks I can do anything in the world a little too confident in me. And so he was really excited. He also didn't see me a lot. My job was really demanding it traveled a lot. So in his eyes, he's like, Wait, are you saying that you'll be home more, you'll be present, which fast forward, if you read my book, you'll realize my first few years, I wasn't home more, and I wasn't present, he was probably regretting supporting me in this decision. However, he was really supportive of it. And he was ready to take the sacrifices and figure out how we're going to do it. However, many of my students, their spouse is not as supportive of this. And I want to talk about this really quickly. It usually happens with women in the household who are raising the families, maybe working, maybe staying at home, but they present the opportunity to that to their husband, I want to start a business. And the husband says, that's not a good idea, let's not do that. Maybe you should keep it as a hobby. Or maybe you shouldn't do it at all. And it's not because they don't believe in their spouse, it's because they're likely very worried about if that spouse is making money in a nine to five job well, what if you can't make as much money and we start hurting for finances. But number two, they don't want the other person to change, like, there's fear, like, you're going to be different, I'm going to lose you, you're going to have focus somewhere else other than our family. And so they don't want that. That's something that needs to be navigated. I literally wrote scripts in my book of how to have these hard conversations with someone who doesn't want you to do what you want to do. And I was just talking to a mutual friend of ours Chalene Johnson, and she was saying, what do you do, and I said, I know this is very controversial, but you figure out a way to do it anyway. Because you're going to regret the person that told you not to do it, especially the person you love and sleep next to every night that didn't want you to follow your dreams, there's going to be resentment. And she suggested, maybe that's the time for therapy, talk it out with a mediator in therapy to see if you can get on the same page. And I thought, that's actually really great advice. Because there needs to be a resolution, you got to follow your dreams, or you're really going to feel frustrated with the person that told you not to. So it's a dicey situation, but it's one, it's a conversation that many people are going to have to have. 

Mel Abraham  32:01  
Well. I think that it's important if you do right, it needs to be had. And you you mentioned the whole idea of that why needing to be not some surface why some some deeper meaning line. And I think that when I work with with couples on on this, it said, and I said you, I want you to have a conversation with your spouse, and they go, Ah, no, this isn't a money conversation about how you spent too much. This is a conversation about your vision for your life. And this, that's where your y comes in. And when you are talking, if you're all on the same page for that vision for life together, it's easier to see where this fits in and you could have a conversation at a higher level than this tactical details where the fear is going to reside.

Amy Porterfield  32:48  
Absolutely. I love that a conversation about your vision for life, that that's when it becomes real and important.

Mel Abraham  32:56  
All right, one more question that I want to make sure that people know where to get this book. You know, and and, and all the goodness, that's Amy Porterfield. So is that if you had a chance to go back, I don't know, a decade or something like that. And look, look forward and talk to yourself. What's the one thing you would tell yourself to do?

Amy Porterfield  33:22  
This it, I'm gonna say it and people are gonna roll their eyes and be like, yeah, easier said than done. I didn't say it was easy, but I think it's important. I wish I allowed myself to make mistakes. In the beginning. I thought I had to have it all figured out. I thought I had it'd be perfect. And the only reason why I thought that is I was very scared of what people would think about me if I wasn't, what if I do a webinar all wrong? What if I crash and burn? What if I say something I shouldn't say online? And what will people say and think about me. And my good friend says if they're not paying the bills, they don't get an opinion. And that I wish I learned earlier. That's one lesson I wish I learned. But also just allow myself to make the mistakes. The only way you get clarity is in action. When we don't know how to be entrepreneurs in the beginning, we're going to make mistakes, let yourself have that grace, you will get so much farther faster.

Mel Abraham  34:12  
I love this. I love this and looking at your journey, and how you've you've done it, how you've navigated knowing you and Hoby and, and all the lies that you've changed this is this is a beautiful thing this and I'm so glad that you you've decided to put the book out so the book is coming out in a few weeks,

Amy Porterfield  34:34  
February 21,

Mel Abraham  34:37  
February 21. It is it is out. How can they get a hold of it and Where's where's the best place that we can send and we will hook it all up in the show notes and in the description.

Amy Porterfield  34:47  
So two weeks notice book.com So two weeks notice book.com When you preorder I've got a bunch of bonuses. So if you happen to be listening to this before the book comes out tomorrow tons of bonuses that you can get your hands on. But if you order the book, when it's out, I still have some good bonuses for you. So make sure to visit that site and I'll give you all the details, but you can buy the book wherever books are sold.

Mel Abraham  35:11  
So awesome. So here's the thing, I want you all to sit back for a moment take take in what what Amy and I talked about, maybe think about your life, think about what you want it to be think about? Where could I be in 12 months? Two years, five years, 10 years? Where Where would you be if you didn't make that choice, pick up the book, read it. Take the first step and see where it takes you. Amy I am so blessed to one call you friend. And to to have this conversation with you. Thank you so so much for coming on and sharing your, your, your Brightstar your your in just the wisdom you have with my audience.

Amy Porterfield  35:57  
Thank you so much. I love our friendship. I love that I got to have this conversation with you. And I can't wait to do more of it. So thanks again friend.

Mel Abraham  36:05  
See you soon. Thank you for listening to the affluent entrepreneur show with me your host Mel Abraham. If you want to achieve financial liberation to create an affluent lifestyle, join me in the Affluent Entrepreneur Facebook group now by going to melabraham.com/group and I'll see you there. 

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