S2 Episode 18: Breaking Barriers: Permission to Create Self-Defined Success

Have you ever felt a yearning to stray from the path society has laid out for you? Do you feel a need to redefine your life on your own terms? Our guest today, Trang Nova, knows exactly what that feels like. He bravely ventured off the beaten path, experiencing a quarter-life crisis, leaving his norm, and making the bold decision to start his own business and live life on his terms. Follow us as we unpack his inspiring journey and discover the power of embracing change and growth.

As we traverse the landscape of Trang's life, we uncover how societal norms can box us in, dimming our ability to see the multitude of choices within our reach. Trang's story demonstrates the dissatisfaction that can arise from following these expected paths and the awakening realization that we may not be living our true lives. Tune in as we navigate this complex world of societal expectations and learn how to break free and steer toward the life we truly desire.

Transitioning towards the close of our conversation, we venture into Trang's career switch. We discuss the importance of not letting our past anchor us but using it as a springboard toward our future. He emphasizes that changing course is not a waste of time, but a valuable opportunity to apply past knowledge to new pursuits. The focus shifts to the invaluable power of seeking support during such transitions and the importance of granting ourselves the freedom to take risks and carve our own life paths. Listen in and embolden your journey towards breaking barriers and achieving success.

ABOUT Trang:
Trang Nova is a mentor and speaker for women who are hungry to pivot careers and build their dream business, so they can live out their potential and purpose with freedom and fulfillment.

In her mid-20s, Trang experienced a quarter-life crisis that led her to leave the sports industry so she could help women not just as athletes, but as human beings.

Now, Trang is determined to help others step into their greatest power and thrive in their lives of impact. Ultimately, she believes that when enough individuals are thriving, then humanity will thrive. And when humanity thrives, then the world can thrive for all forms of life and future generations.

FREE GIFT from Trang:
WEEKLY CREATION METHOD 3-step guide to creating mind-blowing weeks of productivity, alignment, and fulfillment! Get it here.

CONNECT with Trang:
Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Website | Podcast

--------

Join us in the Modern Midlife Mentorship.

Learn more.

CONNECT with Inviting Shift on Social:

Instagram  |  Facebook

Email me and tell me what you think: christina@christina-smith.com

Tune in wherever you listen to podcasts:

• Apple Podcasts/iTunes
• Spotify
• Google Podcasts
• YouTube Channel

Join the community in the Modern Midlife Mentorship! Learn more here.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 1:01

Well, welcome back, shifters. It is a new week, a new podcast, and we have Trang Nova here today, and Trang is going to help us start unpacking how, in midlife, we can start giving ourselves permission to do a million things and to show up differently, to change roles, to decide to do it our way, whatever the thing is that you need permission for. That's what we're going to be talking about today. But before we get into that, let me introduce you to Trang Nova. Thanks, trang, for being here. I really appreciate you.

Speaker 2: 1:38

Hey, Christina. Thank you so much for having me on the show. I am delighted to be here and having this conversation that I think so many more of us need to be talking about and hearing.

Speaker 1: 1:51

Yeah, so before we start, just tell us a bit about who you are and who it is that you help.

Speaker 2: 1:58

Yeah, absolutely so. Hello everyone. My name is Trang Nova. It's already introduced, and how I would describe myself is I am a mentor and speaker for women who are hungry to pivot and to build their dream businesses of impact so that, ultimately, you can fulfill your purpose and potential and create your dream life of freedom and fulfillment.

Speaker 2: 2:26

And, like there's so many different ways I can talk about how I've landed here, but for me, I really went on this journey myself as well, because I had the straightforward upbringing of you've got to work hard, you've got to go to university, you can have a stable job for life and then you can enjoy the reward of a good life. So then I went to university and then, after working as a physiotherapist or physical therapist, as it's called over there for a few years, I went through a quarter life crisis. I was just 24 years old and that's when I essentially asked myself the question is this, it for the rest of my life? Like am I like? Is this all I'm going to do and to contribute to the world and all I'm going to be for the rest of my life? What do I want to do for the rest of my life?

Speaker 2: 3:28

And it's funny, because I'd ask myself that question so many times, already growing up. You know when you're growing up and you're constantly asked what do you want to do when you grow up? Right, so I don't always thought about it. But this time I could think about this and question this from a different lens and essentially I realized that the path I was on now was what I thought I should be doing, based on what everyone else around me was suggesting, but it wasn't what was true to my heart in the way that I wanted to contribute and in the way that I wanted to live my life.

Speaker 2: 4:04

So then I went through that career change, I started my business and since then I can only hope that my impact has grown. But what I can say for sure is I am living my dream life and I'm more fulfilled than I've ever been before. So it was a journey, it was a full journey and I describe it in like two minutes, but it was quite a few years of ups and downs and twists and unexpected turns. So I want to share that, like it is possible and, on the other side of the clouds, it is the most liberating and empowering existence that we could lead.

Speaker 1: 4:43

Hmm, I love that so much because a similar thing happened to me, but I wasn't quite such an early start. Mine probably happened around 35. And I had checked all the boxes right. My mother had told me when you go to college, you'll be happy. When you graduate, you'll be happy. When you get that first job, when you have the husband in the house and the children, you'll be happy.

Speaker 1: 5:06

And at 35, I had all of those things and I don't think I was more miserable than that time in my life, because all I kept thinking was I'm supposed to be happy. This does not feel happy, right? And I, similarly to you, like I thought I was creating my path on the way to getting that really great job. And basically I was given two options doctor or lawyer. Those are the paths that you shouldn't be on, because you're smart and so you should just do the things that are successful. And although I didn't go to law school, I had really thought about it. And then I was like, why am I not happy? And I realized because I was living someone else's life. I was living this life of what I should do, not what I actually wanted to do.

Speaker 1: 5:58

Because, even though they ask you that question what do you want to be when you grow up? There seems to be very limited correct answers to that in my family, like open your own business. That was not it, because that was unsafe and they were. You know, my mother is first immigrant, first born here from her family, and so when you have immigrants you often have this you just work for someone else and you get your paycheck and you just get really happy that somebody has employed you and that's it Like. So when I chose to have my own business, I mean it took my mom up to eight years to stop sending me one ads because she was sure that I was messing up my life.

Speaker 1: 6:52

So that brings us to the one of the first permissions I was thinking about. When I was thinking about you know what are the permissions I had to give myself? And one was to think differently than everybody else and be okay with that, and that one can be really hard because it's so ingrained in us that we don't even notice. I'm guessing you didn't even notice that you weren't doing what you wanted. You were just kind of on this path and you're doing the next right thing. Is that right?

Speaker 2: 7:21

Yes, Hold on and you know, I really resonate with what you're sharing as well, and I'm sure that many of the listeners do, because, like, we don't know what we don't know From the moment that we are born and as we grow up, we only absorb what we are told and what we observe.

Speaker 2: 7:40

So when we are told that these are the options, like doctor, lawyer or failure, then that is all we know, right? So then we are led into this false sense of freedom that, oh, we have choice. We can choose doctor, we can choose lawyer. We get to choose. Like you know, we have that ability to write our story, but we don't actually see the greater picture that we're still choosing options within lines. There are still these invisible lines, these invisible boundaries, you could say that we don't recognize and we're operating within those boundaries.

Speaker 2: 8:24

And that's what I recognized when I once I had gone through this quarter life process and I looked at my entire career pathway. You know like I thought that I had choice and like I could choose all these different options. But really there was this implicit expectation that these were the acceptable options and these were the non acceptable options. And it was implicit because not like my parents ever said, you can't do this, you can do that. It was just through passing comments that might be like oh yeah, like you know, auntie Maisie, she does this job and yeah, she, she doesn't really work very hard because that job is easy or whatever it is. And it's just like passing comments that then become ingrained in our paradigm of how we perceive different career options. And I know that we're talking about career a lot right now. But this can be for anything. This can be for relationships, this can be for just lifestyle, it can be for any decision that we make in our life. So, yeah, like doctor, lawyer, accountant, like anything in the health field. So I chose physiotherapy and I felt like that was the best option based on what the expectations were. But in hindsight I look back and I'm like there were so many other pathways that I firstly didn't even know existed as an 18 year old. And even you know, even as we go through our 20s, even as we go through our 30s, there is still going to be more that we're not aware of. And then, also based on the relative safety of what everyone else around us is sailing and doing and what's considered normal and what's considered, you know, a secure pathway like we want to blend in. It's literally a survival instinct that we want to blend in. We don't want to be completely outcasted, so we're going to choose like what we feel is normal and within acceptable, within an acceptable range of our environment.

Speaker 2: 10:38

So from the moment we are born, we have been absorbing information from our environment. Now our parents might say that this is acceptable and this isn't acceptable. Don't cry like be a good girl, be a strong girl. You know, auntie Maisie has this job. She doesn't work very hard because this job is really easy. And then we just start to subconsciously sort information into categories of what's acceptable and what isn't. So we know what we are told by our environment and we may feel like we have like dominion and choice, but it's still often within invisible lines and invisible boundaries. Because, yeah, like I can choose between, I can choose between lawyer, a canton or something in a health field. That was it for me. So I'm like cool, I can choose, but really it's still within a bubble of options Based on the environment and what that has.

Speaker 2: 11:44

What that has told me is acceptable. But what I've realized in hindsight, when I look back, is I would have loved to been able to see beyond these invisible lines. I know it's challenging because, yeah, we're within those lines. So sometimes it's hard to see that we're even within those lines in the first place. But that's why it's so great to take space and to really question our reality. You know, like our perception is reality in the eye of the beholder. So really question our perception, really question our reality. Take it not as fact, not as the only option, not as a given, but as one pathway out of many, one pathway out of many.

Speaker 2: 14:04

I look back and I had chosen physiotherapy because that was the best option. I see that there could have been so many other pathways I could have chosen that. I didn't even consider because I just wasn't aware of that, aware of it at the time. And I know that we're talking about career right now. But this will go for any decision that we make in our life. This goes for relationships, this goes for lifestyle, this goes for any paradigm that we perceive is okay. You know, this is the, this is a given, this is how things are done, but options beyond what we currently feel like there is within our own.

Speaker 1: 14:49

I love that so much because I think that that's so true. Like every time I do something, I always wonder why do I do it this way? Where did that come from? Or why am I making this choice? Where did that come from? And that leads me into like old beliefs that we have. Like, like you said, there's some ingrained messages that we're getting from. You know, aunt Susie does this, and well, that's not really acceptable. You want to go to college so you can do something better than that, right, or whatever the talking in was.

Speaker 1: 15:19

But one of my old beliefs that held me back for a really long time, even after I opened my own business, was hard work equals success. And that did a couple of things for me. One, I have a hard time having fun before I do my work right. Like there's something in me that tells me I have to earn right, I have to earn it, and if I'm going to earn it, it has to be hard. So, you know, we all start our business as thinking I'm gonna work for myself. That means like I could go for a hike during the day if I wanted, or I could go shopping if that's what I wanted, or I could go to the spa. You know how many times I've done that during like work hours I mean very few and it's only been in the last couple of years that I've given myself permission to take a break because I had this really have to work hard and that equals success. And in my brain the way I interpreted that was you have to do all your work first. It should be really hard work so you feel really good about accomplishing it. And I was like I really brought it down to you I'm only worthy if I'm working really hard and I'm not gonna be successful if the work isn't hard. So even in my own business, I would make myself do all the hard stuff first, not the stuff I really loved and why I was doing my business in the first place, but like all of the really hard stuff so that I could feel like I was earning my worth, because it's a very cultural thing in the United States that we have to earn our success.

Speaker 1: 17:02

And even though, like, some of the things were easy for me, like the best parts of my business, like coaching and listening to women and asking good questions, that's all stuff that's really easy. So I would go and make things hard or find hard things just in order to earn that. And I had to start looking at that and go. Why am I not allowing myself to go for a hike on a Friday morning instead of going right to the computer? Why am I not? And that was the belief. So we have permission to change our beliefs. I no longer use that. Hard work equals success.

Speaker 1: 17:41

It's just what, if it's easy, like I even ask myself the opposite, which I think is a good way of getting out of that, what you were saying, like that rut of just those limited options within those invisible lines, like in the path of what is okay, and what we mean is what is okay by other people, right, like what is okay that we've learned that other people are expecting us to show up in a certain way.

Speaker 1: 18:08

And so there's that permission of allowing myself to change beliefs and really question some of those old beliefs, cause, as we can see, like our younger generations my stepdaughter I'm so proud of her, like she just manifests jobs, like it's amazing exactly how she wants them I'm like that's not gonna work out and surely it does, and so they have, like this really fresh look at the way that we do things, rather than, like me, as a Gen X or it's like it was very much like this is how you do it, and once you have your college degree and you get all these places, you are gonna love it.

Speaker 1: 18:48

So what is some other permissions that you think that we need to allow ourselves in order to even consider a career change? Cause I know that I have a lot of women who they want to change careers, but they're in their 40s or their 50s and they're like, is it too late? I should probably just stay where I am because it's the path of least resistance. Right, it's just to keep moving on the path that I am on, and what does that mean about letting go of all of this experience and this way that I've worked up to this? And so what do we need to give ourselves permission to do in order to really be open to that?

Speaker 2: 19:33

The first one that I'd like to share is one that I really struggled with, and that's the then we're going to waste all of the years and the time and energy that we have put into creating this success that we currently have, or getting to where we are now. So we are reluctant to change course because of what we have already put into this particular reality that we're now experiencing. And I thought this, you know, for me, even as a 24 year old right, even as a 24 year old, I had that thought oh my God, it's too late to change. Now. This is who I am now, this is what I've got a name for. And, yeah, like I had a name as a physiotherapist, I was getting called out to do talks and I was at conferences. Even then, I was already thinking that, let alone 10 years later, 20 years later. But this is what I say to that now.

Speaker 2: 20:31

You know, back then I had accumulated four years of university plus four years of work under my belt, so it was eight years in total, and at the start I was like that's a waste. You know, I don't want to waste eight years of my life, but here's the thing what is more of a waste Eight years of the past that is now already done and totally doesn't exist anymore, or the next 30, 40, 50 years of your life. What's more of a waste? Wasting the eight years that have already gone, or the next few decades of your life that are very real and is yet to come and like? When I saw it like that, I realized that what counts is what is yet to come.

Speaker 2: 21:26

No, that is the only thing that we really have in the present moment and what we are yet to be able to create for ourselves. So that is what we really want to be putting out energy and our focus towards Not the past, but what is yet to come, because that is what we're going to be experiencing for the rest of our life, like we're going to be waking up and that is the life we're going to be living. So I'd much rather change course now, take the time to build up that business, pivot careers into my dream pathway, serving my mission, living my best life, and I don't mind how long it takes, because that time is going to pass anyway.

Speaker 1: 22:15

Yeah, I love this for so many reasons. Because one, we were saying how this applies like regular life. Well, I get midlife women who, if it's not their career, it might also be like well, my husband and I have had this really miserable relationship for 20 years and but you know, we've been married and I don't wanna just chip in like and I'm not saying that once we get upset, we should like be like, oh, we're just gonna get a divorce. That's not what I'm saying. But do you wanna spend another 20 years being miserable? Like, is that better than actually shifting? And sometimes it's just that fear within us, of course, of shifting that thing. But what I also love about careers or even relationships is it wasn't for nothing. Right Like you, being a physio wasn't for nothing. There was. You went to college which gave you skills beyond physio. Right Like you learned how to accomplish tasks on time and deadlines and you know like build recall, like yeah, it's all of that stuff.

Speaker 1: 23:18

So, no matter what skills, like what we're moving into in the future, we're not starting from zero because we have all of this experience. Maybe some of the more practical parts of it doesn't seem like it fits, but I was in the corporate world before and marketing well, marketing skills helped me. Now, right, learning how to reach out to people and get guests for events that still helps me now. So I don't think I think that we have to remember that we're not starting from zero. We're starting with a different set of experience is all it is just to reassure you. So, and what I heard was permission to toss it if it's not working, like yeah, permission just to let it go right, and whatever that role is.

Speaker 1: 24:08

I remember we had a doctor on the summit and she came from an immigrant family as well, and so she worked so hard to become a doctor first person in your family to go to college, to go get her doctorate, and when she came home and was telling them like, oh well, I just I don't wanna be a doctor anymore, like there was a lot of resistance. Let's say to that. But I think what we need to let go of here is like this external validation that once and I love that you called it a quarter life crisis, because midlife crisis is the thing that so many if you look up, midlife crisis is like the first word after it and I like to see it as a midlife calling or a quarter life calling.

Speaker 1: 24:52

Because there's like something within us that's saying please listen to me, this isn't right, something's not right here, and so giving ourselves permission to listen to that tiny voice inside of us that's like hey, hey, yeah. I might be right. Maybe not everybody else is right, but I know what's going on for us. If that makes sense for you, yeah.

Speaker 2: 25:17

Yeah, absolutely Like permission to let go, because life is not linear. There doesn't have to be a particular sequence of how we go through life and the milestones that we hit. In fact, I see it as why not live multiple lifetimes in one life?

Speaker 1: 25:39

Why do?

Speaker 2: 25:39

we have to just have one tap on of who we are and this is how we do things and that is our entire life. Why not live a chapter of our life, so a decade of our life, where we are in one career, we are in maybe one relationship that served us at the time? We were happy at the time, we got to experience all of the things at the time and then maybe for the next decade of our life, we get to experience a completely different chapter, completely different lifetime, and that's. I went through this more recently. So I've spoken about my quarter life crisis, but I have been speaking openly about how this year I actually did separate from a decade long relationship and it was scary. You know, that was tough. It's been one of the most challenging years of my life.

Speaker 2: 26:30

But there's a beautiful quote, I believe, by Seneca. That is we often suffer more in our imagination than in reality. We often suffer more in our imagination than in reality, meaning the way that we build up the image of how our life will look when we let go and when we change, like how scary it will be, what other people would think about and how hard are we gonna have to work because, like, our mind tells us that we're starting from grand up, even though we are not as we just spoke about before. It makes it seem so scary, so unrealistic, but what I've learned through the multiple major life changes that I've gone through we will always be okay, we will make it work, because it's just one day at a time and if we were okay before, we will be okay again. And I think that has really helped me because, yeah, like when we're standing at the bottom of Mount Everest and we're looking at the summit and that's where we wanna go, it just seems so far away, it seems so intimidating. But every journey of a thousand miles starts with just the first step and when we do take that first step, we're like, okay, cool, this is actually doable, I am doing okay. So taking that step, one at a time, means that we will make it. We are ready and we will make it Because I also do believe that we won't.

Speaker 2: 28:13

It's any challenges in life. We are ready for it and like that sounds a little bit woo-woo, but in terms of examples, think about a three-year-old toddler. Think about a three-year-old. What are their biggest challenges they're gonna face? They're gonna face challenges of, like how to kick a ball, how to run making friends at kindergarten, like that's going to be their biggest challenges. Right, they're not gonna have challenges related to finances, they're not gonna have challenges related to mortgage, because they are literally not at that stage of their life where they are ready and capable to navigate that challenge. But if we are a woman, a powerful, intelligent woman in our 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, and we are dealing with this new, looming decision to change careers, to change relationships, to start a new life in a new country even right, like I lived abroad this year for the first time in my life and that means we are ready for that challenge we are mentally, emotionally, physically, ready to navigate and rise up through this challenge. So, like, have that faith in ourselves because we can do it, we'll be okay.

Speaker 1: 29:30

Like a permission to believe in ourselves, right, a permission to believe that if there is a voice calling, if we do have this midlife calling or whatever is happening, that it's valid, that we can actually listen to it. And I also heard this permission to almost, like, feel the fear and do it anyway. Understand that, yeah, this is scary, I might fail, might have to pick myself back up and try again. I might, you know, learn some lessons. I'm not really keen on learning, but this permission just to allow ourselves to fail, allow ourselves to have the fear and I love the way that you explain that.

Speaker 1: 30:11

Yeah, because if we're imagining it, there is part of our brain that is like dreaming of it, even if it feels scary, like for you and your relationship, like it had to feel scary to be. Like am I tossing 10 years out the door or is this, you know? But what would be better if in five or 10 years, that I had the exact right relationship? That was better for me, rather than just staying because I'm supposed to or I've put in the time or whatever. And I also loved how you said about living different, different lifetimes in one lifetime. Like permission to change our roles right, permission to change our own identity over like you know, am I a corporate marketing person?

Speaker 1: 31:03

or what if I could think of more than that and really permission to dream? Because I think sometimes I talk about this in one of my courses. I think sometimes we just dream to the shoreline, like you said, like here's the path that was laid out, and we wanna dream in a way where, like, let me just get rid of the problems, but then we just get to wanna thrive. We have to have this permission to dream bigger, to allow ourselves to dream bigger, to just imagine what else could be out there, rather than just like, oh well, here's the professions that were presented to me as okay, but you know, there's a million professions. Not only that.

Speaker 1: 31:47

Every day it seems like with technology and the way that the world changes, there's new professions starting every day. There was no such thing as an influencer 20 or 30 years ago. Like, that's a new thing, that got so like I couldn't have grown up and been like, oh, I'm gonna be an influencer when I grow up still not my goal, but just the idea of like. Of course there's so many paths that we don't know. There's paths that haven't even been invented yet, that maybe is waiting for you to be the one that invents it, yeah yes, I'm adding on to that, christina.

Speaker 2: 32:25

The US Department of Labor actually estimates that the average person will have 14 jobs by the time they are 38 years old, like that is the reality of this fast paced world that we live in now.

Speaker 2: 32:39

As you say, the best job today may not even exist in five years time, and jobs that don't exist today could be the next best opportunity in five years time. We don't know that. That is the reality of our world. Yet there is that implicit narrative that we are going to be married to one profession and one identity for our life. So this is where we've gotta give ourselves that permission to not just operate within the lines but to abolish the lines completely. Let's change the paradigm of what we can and can't do and do whatever we wanna do. Like we have the pen to our own book, we get to write whatever book we wanna write, how many other chapters we wanna write, how adventurous and contrasting each chapter gets to be. And it makes it fun, you know, like it makes life fun when we kind of let go of the rigid grasp that we have on what we have to be and where our path needs to go.

Speaker 2: 33:49

It really gives us that sense of inner peace and I know it's easier said than done, but it all starts with listening to this conversation and starting to question ourselves what do we really want?

Speaker 1: 34:04

Like when was the?

Speaker 2: 34:04

last time we got to ask ourselves that question right Like what do we actually really?

Speaker 1: 34:08

want, right, and it's like I always hear, like, well, which path do I take? Well, sometimes we got to bulldoze a new one, right, I mean? And so it's not just permission to take a path, but it's also permission to create one if the one that you want isn't there, and that's completely viable. And I think, with what you said about having 14 jobs or whatever, before we're 38, that is actually to me seems really beautiful, because now you have these 14 slightly different skillsets, probably, and that makes you unique, right? It makes each of us unique. The different combination of skills that we have and desires that we have and ways that we want to be able to use those skills. It all makes us unique to have that different combination.

Speaker 1: 35:05

And so I think that, like I said, the permission is sometimes we just need to create a new path and that's okay. But in order to do that, what I had to do was let go I had to give myself permission to let go of external validation, of people pleasing, because, let me tell you, when you decide to do something against what other people are doing, not only will they fear for you, but there's also sometimes people who are like jealous that you give yourself permission to really explore rather than just conform, cause that's really, I believe, like what Gen X was kind of taught was just like here, you're gonna conform, you're gonna go to college, you're gonna get a job, you're gonna go to college, you're gonna get a job. And I'm not saying that college is bad, I'm just saying that we didn't really get a chance to create our own path, as you said. We really, somehow the messages that we got was like okay, maybe there's four paths or even ten paths, but which path do I choose? Rather than like, well, what is it that I actually want, and how we can listen to that inner voice that's really asking us to do something different. I mean, I think that that is really our connection to spirit, or connection, and not with it Without going to woo-woo, but like a connection to our own soul path, I guess.

Speaker 2: 36:36

Yeah, yeah, and here's one as well that I really think needs a mention permission to make a lot of money.

Speaker 1: 36:47

Ooh, ooh, I got chills yeah.

Speaker 2: 36:52

Honorable, honorable mention because how many of us are told that. You know, money is the root of all evil. All rich people are jerks.

Speaker 1: 37:03

They're all selfish and manipulative.

Speaker 2: 37:05

That's why they are rich Money doesn't grow on trees.

Speaker 2: 37:08

Make sure you save money and you don't spend and enjoy the money that you make, and especially as women right. Times are changing, so we live in this beautiful, opportunistic and abundant world for women today, but generationally the narrative that women aren't the ones that are in power or in ownership of the money as well. But, like I said, in today's world women have more opportunities, more power, more freedom, more voice than ever before. So giving ourselves permission to hold a lot of money, because if we're not holding that money, then someone else is. And if someone else is holding that money, they might just be spending it on private jets or yachts or drugs or something, but if we hold that money, then we get to distribute that money in a way that is meaningful to us.

Speaker 2: 38:07

So, maybe we get to live our best life and enjoy the luxuries that we want to enjoy, but we then also get to distribute that money towards causes, towards progress, towards changing this world that we believe is righteous or is true to our values, and that's how.

Speaker 2: 38:27

I've had to switch my mindset around because for a long time in my business, at the start, I was literally repelling money. I didn't want too much money. I feel guilty, oh my gosh. I don't want to take too much money. I don't want to charge too much. I'm not good with money, so I'm not going to have a lot of it, because then I'll just squander it. But then I've had to change it around that it's actually aligned to my purpose and to my values, to direct money in my way so that it can be utilized for positive change, for positive impacts in this world.

Speaker 1: 39:02

I completely forgot about that one that definitely needs to mention, because I also have been like well, what's the minimal that I need to charge? Because I want to be able to help more people, and I had a coach once that was like won't you be able to help more people if you actually charge more? Because you'd have more resource to be able to go out there and help people? You could, like you said, give to the causes that are important to you. If you say that these causes are important, don't you want to raise money for them? Don't you want to be able to give back and make sure that these things survive? And isn't that also part of your mission? So I'm really understanding that.

Speaker 1: 39:47

It's not about the greedy green. It's about us resourcing ourselves, and that is like money is a resource, but it's no different than energy or time in that it's just one more way that we use that resource and we say, yes, actually make me more money so that I can really carry out my mission, whatever that is, whether that's helping women or saving animals or saving the earth in ways to preserve yeah, yeah, there's so many and that would create the shift to a more feminine way of looking at resource right, instead of men just raising it or people who just raise it and just blow it all just to have a good time, which, if that's, you do it, but for me what would mean more would be able to really impact the mission that I have of supporting women and loving them and getting them to empower themselves, and money is just one more way that they can resource themselves, so lovely.

Speaker 1: 41:02

Is there one more mission that you want to talk about before we go.

Speaker 2: 41:06

The last one, I think I'm sure you have a full list of things.

Speaker 1: 41:11

Yeah, pick one so many, so many.

Speaker 2: 41:15

I think that the last one is permission to be and this is related to the money conversation the permission to be super successful and world class in what we do. And the reason why I want to finish up with this is because many of us desire that or maybe not all of us, but we may want to be world class, we may want to be extremely successful in what it is that we do, but due to our own sense of self and our identity that we currently hold, we don't see ourselves as being worthy of that or being capable of that. So, you know, 80 up to 80% of people experience imposter syndrome. 8 out of 10 people experience imposter syndrome, thinking that we're not good enough, we are fraud, our current success is a fluke.

Speaker 2: 42:09

But the thing is we are always capable of more, because if we see our potential as where it is right now, then we'll be a 20 year old for the rest of our life.

Speaker 2: 42:25

We'll never be learning more skills, more experiences, gaining more knowledge. We'll just be like a 20 year old in a 50 year old's body. But that's not true. We are constantly growing and evolving. So remembering that, not just in hindsight, but like going forward as well that just because where we are now with our certain experiences, maybe with some setbacks up to date, maybe some failures up to date, maybe some evidence up to date, maybe there's been certain feedback that clients or colleagues or previous bosses have told us that was not stuff by last. It does not define who we can yet to be, so giving us, giving us those permission to be super successful and that we are worthy of that. Because I'm a dream, right, right, and that's why, actually, I ran a retreat over the weekends, and one of the exercises that is often quoted as the best exercise at the retreat is getting the women to write down a list of all the things that they are most proud of themselves.

Speaker 1: 43:39

And it doesn't end there.

Speaker 2: 43:41

They then stand in front of the group and share that list, owning themselves and owning their space. And it's so scary because everyone at the site is like, oh my God, are we really going to do this? And then by the end you know they're just like, yeah, and I did this and I did that, and I'm so proud of myself and everyone's like, yeah, you go, girl, like you do that and like being able to own it, that we are so capable and simply the fact that we are here, seeing it, dreaming it, wanting it, we are ready and worthy to achieve that.

Speaker 2: 44:20

So giving us a solution to evolve beyond what we can currently see.

Speaker 1: 44:25

And really owning it. And I love that because there was a study done on men and women. When they go to interview and like it's like some astronomical number, like 70 to 80% of men will over talk their accomplishments, making them seem bigger than they really are. And women do the exact opposite. They tend to play down their accomplishments, say, well, it was part of the team, the team helped me, or yeah, you know, I just did that like it's nonchalantly right. They don't really claim as much of their significance or magnificence since then that men do. And it's just kind of grown in there. And I mean, I think back to my childhood, especially in my age generation, and it was always like don't show off, don't boast, don't you know, look like the center of attention and now I'm like constantly asking my clients what are you celebrating?

Speaker 1: 45:27

And they'll go well. I'm grateful that I'm like no, what are you celebrating about yourself? Not what are you grateful for in your life? That's great. I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but it's more about it's so much harder for us to go. I made this choice and I'm really proud of myself. I move forward on this and I'm really proud of myself for doing that.

Speaker 1: 45:50

Pride seems to be something that we have to give ourselves permission, you know, to be prideful, really celebrate ourselves, but when we do that, we're also giving permission to other women to celebrate themselves and celebrate each other, rather than like getting in this natural competition that we can tend to get into. Really, oh, beautiful, what a beautiful conversation today. Hopefully it's been helping some of our audience really open up to the idea that there's many ways of thinking about something and if you need permission, you know reach out to me or Trang, and we would be happy to pretend to give you permission, because we can't possibly do that. You have to give it to you. But if you need a little encouragement, we would be happy to offer some of that. I know that you have a free gift for us. You want to share that with us?

Speaker 2: 46:43

Yeah, absolutely. So I am so big on us really stepping into our highest power and fulfilling our purpose and potential.

Speaker 2: 46:56

So that can be through giving ourselves permission, that can be through like giving and building our dream business. And then part of that as well is making sure that we you know our fullest life. So something that I like to share is the weekly creation method guide. It's a three step process for you to be as productive as possible in your weeks, so that you have the first ability to achieve all the things that you want. And then also, number two is see yourself in a different light, because when we finish our weeks on a high, having done all the things that we want to do, we have followed through with our own commitment and promises. Then we now value ourselves more. We actually, I believe, respect ourselves more.

Speaker 2: 47:47

So it's all part of the bigger picture, but I have a weekly reflection and creation process Creation. So we're not just managing our weeks as they come up, but we are creating our weeks and therefore our life. I have a process that has worked so well for me over the years. It's worked really well for my clients and I have it for free, so I'll give that link to you, christina.

Speaker 1: 48:11

And then, yeah, anyone is going to utilize it. Click on it, it's there. Yeah, it'll be below, and all of Trang's contact information will also be there. So if she said something that made you think and you have a question or you want to reach out for that support in you know, allowing yourself permission to change what you're thinking and change the way that you're thinking, or change your career, trang is the person for you. Thank you so much for being here today. I really appreciate you. This has been a lovely conversation, thank you, christina.

Speaker 2: 48:46

Once again, it is such an honor to be on the show, to share this conversation with you and hopefully touch on the lives of the women out there.

Speaker 1: 48:54

Yeah, and thank you shifters for tuning in. I hope that you go out and find new ways to give yourself permission to really engage in your life and to really expand and explore. Have a good week.