Menstrual Cycles ARE Your Schedule With Aubrey Warren

This week we are joined by Aubrey Warren 

At age twenty-one, Aubrey Warren turned to yoga to heal her chronic infections when western medicine was ineffective. She has now been a yoga teacher for over twenty years and yoga educator for a decade. In her newly published self-help-meets erotica teaching memoir, “Sleeping Beauty Awakened: Tools for the Modern Goddess,” Warren hopes to be the role model she never had. Warren has been married to her husband, Jacob, for over twenty years, and she's excited to share with you all the tips and tricks she's cultivated to keep her marriage thriving and hot after two decades.

Aubrey's book  Sleeping Beauty Awakened is available NOW!

Transcript

Casey: 0:00

well, welcome to another episode of come with Casey. We are your hosts. I'm Dr. Casey Sanders and I'm Carrie Sanders, and we've got a very special episode. I mean, I feel like we say this all the time. You say it every time we are. I think all of our episodes are special. We have a good time, especially whenever we're able to bring people on the show and talk about some really fucking cool topics.

Kari: 0:19

And, and topics that you don't actually get to hear on a daily basis. And I think that's part of what we're trying to bring to y'all as our listeners is unique and different perspectives or perspective that you've just never heard before. And that's why we're really excited to have you on our show today. And let's get into it. You. Have a book coming out or you have a book that already came out. Do you want

Casey: 0:40

to try to introduce the guest first? I mean, I guess we

Kari: 0:43

should. Alright, see this is why Casey does the introductions and I don't. So we're just going to go back and flip it to Casey, let him finish, and then I'll jump ahead again later. So

Casey: 0:53

as we, as we already said, we... We stand for, uh, we have this vision that we do in which we are trying to help people build their sex lives, uh, introduce them to kink, bring them into this world so they can save intimacy over time. What better way to do that than to introduce somebody very special today. Today we are introducing Aubrey Warren. She has such a massive background, by the way, I was doing some looking at some deep diving into her and I'm like, Oh my God, there's like, Yoga and spiritualism. And like, we

Kari: 1:19

were stalking you aggressively.

Casey: 1:22

Music festival director that gets all over the place. So instead of me rambling on about your background, Aubrey, we want to welcome you to the show and give you an opportunity to tell us about yourself. Yeah,

Aubrey: 1:33

sure. Thank you so much guys. I'm so happy to be here. It's crazy how the universe brings people into your path, you know? Absolutely. Yeah. So I think the easiest way is to give you like the CliffsNotes of my story. I, I had some chronic health. Whenever I was a senior in college and when Western medicine wouldn't nip him in the bud, which it was like bladder, chronic bladder infections is what I was dealing with. I ended up going to a natural healing doctor because I was tired of being on antibiotics for over a year. And this natural healing doctor, uh, asked me two important questions that changed my life forever. And that was What's going on in your personal life and what are you putting into your body? And the reality was I was addicted to diet pills and I was doing what a lot of Western women do to try to get skinny was doing it the completely wrong and unhealthy way. And so what Dr. Lee told me, which I didn't understand at the time was that I had an imbalance in my second chakra and that I needed to find balance in my, in my internal, energy system. And so he prescribed that I start practicing yoga. And that was in 2002. So 21 years ago, I was diagnosed yoga or prescribed yoga. And so I started a practice of two times a week. And during that first year of practice my bladder infections. But this was the kicker for me was I had been on asthma medications since I had been a child and I found myself no longer needing my asthma medications that I used to puff before every workout and I was no longer needing them anymore. So, like, in this 1 year of practicing this new discipline which primarily is focused on. Breathing, deep breathing, and the different things that can happen in your body during deep breathing and movement. I was a chronic condition that had been plaguing me since I was a little girl, just like seemed to evaporate. And so I was like, holy shit, there's something going on here. I need to learn more about this. And so I ended up throwing myself into becoming a student of yoga and through that process. The best way to become a student is to go through yoga teacher training because if you have to be able to teach something, it makes you learn the material even more. So about 20 years ago, I started my yoga education and during that time or over that time, whole new world has. Opened up to me. But let, let me preface by saying that you know, I moved from rural Northwest Missouri to Fort Worth, Texas for Texas Christian university in 1998. Okay. And at TCU, you're required to take a religion course and. Because I had grown up Christian, I decided, well, you had two choices really as an entry level class. It was either understanding the Bible or world religion. And because I had studied the Bible most of my life, I thought, well, what a better opportunity to learn something new. And my mind was fucking blown. And it changed my life forever. And what I learned in that class was there's two main ways of looking at religion and spirituality. And that was exclusivism versus inclusivism and exclusivism says that. Every all the different paths to God are leading to leading to their own place and that my way is the right way. And that my God is the right God. That is inclusivism. Okay. And inclusivism says that all paths. Lead to the same place. And so that blew my mind because I had always thought that being a Christian was the only way to God. And I decided in that class that I wasn't a Christian because I didn't believe a lot of the foundational principles that were being taught at the church. And, and so really that blew my foundation of my belief system. And so. I found myself in my early twenties, you know, just being prescribed yoga, completely lost spiritually. I was mad at the church. I was mad at God. I thought I'd been lied to my whole life. And so I was like really fertile soil for new ideas at that point in time. So let's put a pin in that my senior year at TCU, we're here today because one of my best friends worked with Carrie and her for a while. Okay. Yes. And so that friend, Jen, she introduced me to my husband, my senior year at TCU. And so one of the things, you know, my second chakra. Was out of balance and your second chakra, which, you know, we can go deeper later if you want to, but you have a whole energetic energy system with within Eastern philosophy. And the second chakra rules, not only excretion and the sexual organs, but it also like has to do with money and your foundation and all of that. And I was like this brand new kid, right? Graduating from college in a new relationship, having to be financially responsibility, responsible for my first financially responsible for myself for the first time. So all of the shit that plugs into your second chakra were up in the air for me. And so that caused me to become extremely imbalanced. And so within yogic philosophy, we believe in something called spadia. So in yoga, it's a whole, like a whole philosophy, right? What we do on our mat is Only one small element to it. And within the philosophical systems, what yaya means self study. So 20 years ago, I started my yoga education, which encouraged me to self study. So learn about myself and through that process. A whole new way of being a whole new way of looking at spirituality, but you're going to talk about as far as sacred relationships are concerned, all unfolded in the process. So, that's, that's kind of the Cliff's notes of, of my story, you know, so like I've been on a yoga journey and that yoga journey has opened up many different doors. Along the way and many, and I've gone down many different hallways. So my website, all the different hallways that I've gone down on this journey, that is being a Yogi. But, but also a part of that, uh, through my journey, I discovered something called Tantra. Uh, you know, Tantra is just like a small, well, Tantra, it has the, it's like, has a misconception of being all about sex. Right. Okay. But it's not really the word Tantra is broken down into two different parts. Roots. So, uh, Tan and Tra and Tra is from the same root as Sutra, which means to like a suture, which is like to knit together, you know, like there's like, when you sew something up, when something's, you know, so Tan is like, or the different rituals and so on. So Tantra are the different rituals and practices that we do in our life to weave spirituality. Into our whole day, it's just one of the few religions or practices or spiritualities or whatever that includes sex. And so it has a reputation of being all about sex, but through becoming a tantric practitioner the, the door of sacred relationships opened up to me.

Casey: 10:05

Yeah. And we want to start to dive into that. So before we get to the specifics about, we're going to concentrate on a couple of chapters of your book, but, uh, give us a little bit of this background of, of this book that you've just released and what its purpose is.

Aubrey: 10:17

Great. So, the name of the book is called Sleeping Beauty Awakened. Tools for the modern goddess and whoo. Okay. So we're going to talk about cycles. I got to, I got to bring this in. Cause it's a part of the story. So, you know, I met my husband when I was 21, okay. I'm 43 now. So we go through lots of changes during that time, right? I was diagnosed with PMDD pre menstrual depression disorder. In my first year of being married and, uh, I was prescribed Zoloft and I don't know if you have done much research about, you know, taking medications that affect your serotonin level. So many of them also affect your ability to have an orgasm. And that's what happened to me. And so I found myself in as a newlywed, not able to come. And I was like, fuck this. I'm not continuing down this path. And it said, forget it. But because when I was diagnosed this, I wasn't given any other tools or suggestions besides pop this pill. I didn't do anything about it. Okay. And, uh, on day 26 of your menstrual cycle, all of your hormones in your body are at an all time low. I didn't know this. I didn't know anything about the menstrual cycle or the hormones that were going in my body, but all I knew was. About on a monthly cycle, which I didn't realize it was on a monthly cycle because I wasn't conscious of it. I would feel what I called like a rage, like creeping up my spine where all of a sudden I just felt angry for no reason. And it was like that rage that was creeping up my spine almost became an experience. Use to let everything, any negative emotion that I had been suppressing throughout the month just to explode out of me. Yeah.

Kari: 12:25

Every female listener is like, yep,

Aubrey: 12:28

relatable. And so during that time, I would punch my husband below the belt. They say that the reason why we can be so cruel with our words is because we're in so much, uh, discomfort in so many different ways, psychologically, physically, and so on, that it's almost like we're trying to get others to feel as shitty as we are. And so it's like, we tend to be vicious with our words. And so. After 15 years of punching someone below the belts on a monthly basis, it does damage to, to the relationship. And I've, I've found myself in the worst fight of my life with my husband, where he, I thought it was the end where he didn't speak to me for three days after I like punched below the belt and. What I realized in that time was that I had been. I was asking myself these internal questions of what's wrong with me. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Why do I keep doing this to the people that I love? And during those three days I realized that what we seek, we shall find, and that I was asking the wrong questions inside. And so all of a sudden I started to realize, okay, I need to stop asking what's wrong with me. And I need to start. Looking for new ways of being and they say when the student is ready, the teacher arrives. And so then all of a sudden, all of these books just started to come in, giving me new awareness about, uh, menstrual cycles and goddesses and different ways of being and, and the way the divine feminine has been suppressed in our culture and like in a couple of years, my world just blew

Kari: 14:26

up. So you really like dove into studying the

Aubrey: 14:29

why? I dove into studying, not necessarily, not necessarily the why it was just, what am I not seeing? What else is there out there that I'm not seeing? And so I dove into it. And what I teach in the cycles, which we'll get to in a second was, is there, there's a particular time in your menstrual cycle when when you're an Oracle. When you're supposed to pay attention to your rage, that those are like whispers from the universe of the direction that you're supposed to be going. And so as I was like deep in it, as I was like deep in it, I was in this moment of feeling like some depression and some rage and all of these negative emotions. And then because I was in the midst of my study and like, Oh, I'm supposed to be paying attention to this. And I heard this little voice inside that said, is this going to be one more fucking year where you don't do the things That you feel called to do because you're scared and the 2 things. That I'd always wanted to do, but I'd been scared to do was host a women's empowerment retreat and write a book. So the first thing I did was I hosted a women's empowerment retreat. And so fast forward, fast forward, I was hosting women's empowerment retreats for several years. And after one of the retreats, I am go to a music festival. And I'm teaching yoga and while the microphone is still hot after I'm done teaching, I take a second to do a shameless plug. I'm still high on the good vibes for my women's retreat from the weekend before. And my husband's walking around the, walking around the. The group and I'm like, see that guy over there, we've been married for the past 17 years. And if you're interested in learning new ways of connecting with your partner and being empowered as a woman, and you're interested in learning about some of these tools that I've acquired over the past so many years of this relationship, come up and talk to me and get on my next, uh, get on my mailing list. And I'll let you know when the next retreat is. Yeah. Well, I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who came up. It was like these women hungry for new ways of relating to their partners and it was on my way home from that festival that I decided to write this book. It was in. It was a prayer of mine that the information that I share at my retreats is I'm able to get it to people who can't necessarily always make it to a retreat. So, this book was, uh, a love letter and a permission slip. To my rave kids and my family and, and it's my hope and prayer that it will find its hands into, it will find its way into the hands of anybody who needs it. So how long did

Kari: 17:30

it take for you from like concept to finish? How long did it take? Four years.

Casey: 17:35

Wow. We're yours. And what were you like? This is a new release, right? Like when did this book come out?

Aubrey: 17:41

Last week. So we can go on Sunday. You're on a book tour. Yeah. Yeah. First off of the book tour right here. Yeah.

Kari: 17:52

Well,

Aubrey: 17:53

we

Kari: 17:53

are

Casey: 17:53

lucky to have you. Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. Let's, let's dive a little bit further into this book. Okay. Because. Like I said before we had you on the show, being Carrie, we're doing a little bit of diving in and there was a couple of things, a chapters that just like immediately popped out to, to us. And I think that that first one, as we're talking about cycles and we're talking about, uh, the power and the feminine, it is going to be that, that I think it's the seventh chapter of your book, finding your flow. And it talks specifically, I haven't gotten a chance to read it. Trust me, we're going to be getting copies of the book. But I haven't gotten a chance to look at, but it's talking about like time management and like kind of guiding your life around your cycles. What is that all about?

Aubrey: 18:30

Yeah. Okay. So that, that was the work that started all of this. This is the financial, the foundational work because it getting in touch with my cycle is what has healed my personal relationship with my, with my partner and it's brought me to my greatest empowerment. So, so I was asking the question, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? And what was wrong. Was that I wasn't educated. About what was going on in my body. Okay. I was resisting it. And the real reality is, is that we women are cyclical. Our bodies change on a day to day, week to week basis that actually mirror the seasons of the earth. Okay. So we have winter, spring, summer, and fall. And just like we learned through our experience with the seasons, every season has its own gifts. We get something different from each season. Right. And what the detriment for most of us women are is that we live in a patriarchal society and where we are modeling ourselves off men and men are linear. Their hormones don't change. On a regular, regular basis. So in essence a lot of our problems are that we have expectation that we're going to be the same every day. And when I don't have the same capacity today, as I did yesterday. A lot of times we'll use that for food of what Eckhart Tolle called the pain body, right? Where it's like those negative voices in our heads that those little gremlins inside that tell us we're not good enough. You know, we're, we're never going to achieve X, Y, Z that, that cause shame within the psyche. And Brene Brown says that shame kept internal grows and whenever we're able to speak it out loud, it dissipates. And so I was feeling ashamed that I, I'm a fairy nature. I'm a really happy, bubbly type of person until I'm not right. And so when we're really happily happy and bubbly and personable, that becomes the expectation. Yes. And so what we know from nature, right, is that there's spring and summer where things are bright and growing and warm and supportive. And then they start to fade and then they get dark and they get cold. And uh, and I was expecting myself to be warm and bright and sunny all the time. And when I shifted into my darkness. I acted out of character for myself and that created shame inside of me. And this is the dangerous thing about shame. Shame says I'm bad where guilt says I did something bad. Yeah. Okay. So when we're in shame, if I'm bad, guess what? That's an excuse to where I don't have to change. If I'm bad, I, I, I'm not able to take responsibility for my actions. But if I did something bad, I can see what I did and therefore I can make change. And I was feeling shameful about my cyclical system, which in reality, there was nothing bad about me. I was just doing things bad and not understanding why. Yeah. Okay. So what I learned is What's going on in our body. So let's just talk about it. Do you want to talk about it? You want to talk about it? Okay. Okay. So, so when we know what's going on in our bodies. Then we can plan for it and we can plan things that we're going to be the best at in that time. So our monthly cycle is generally 28 days. I'm going to pause and preface and say that these are all generalities that I'm going to be speaking to. Okay. Every woman is a unique being and is a little bit different. So if what I say here is not a reflection of anyone's experience, who's listening. My best suggestion is to start to journal about your cycle. Yes, absolutely. Wonderful. Start to track it. And when I started this process, granted, there's so many apps out there, but I'm a pen and paper kind of girl. Same. Yeah. I got same. And so I had a journal where I would write day one. So day one is the first day you start to bleed and your menstrual cycle. Okay. So I would day one and I would put, how am I feeling physically? How am I feeling emotionally? Where's my libido? What's my, like, what's, what's my hair texture like, you know, where's my skin

Kari: 24:13

look like everything, all of it.

Aubrey: 24:16

Yeah. Like I, I would journal about all of those things. Okay. So on day one. Today, seven ish of your menstrual cycle is when your hormones are at their all time low and they slowly start to creep back up. Now, let's just remember the 2 main hormones that make us different as men and female as men and women are testosterone and estrogen. Right? So estrogen is at the lowest, which by the way, this is a fun, fun fact that I didn't know. Estrogen and serotonin are yolked in women. So if you have estrogen, you have serotonin. If you don't have much estrogen, you don't have as much serotonin. So when they're at their all time low, there's not much estrogen, there's not much serotonin right there. And then it starts to build up. I also like to call estrogen the accommodation hormone. Okay. It makes us accommodating. So when they're at their all time low, we're not very accommodating. We're not very happy because we don't have the serotonin and we don't have the estrogen. And that slowly starts. To build, but like, consider, consider this. As, as our estrogen just starts to build and just starts to grow metaphysically in our body. That's when our ovaries have turned back on. Okay. They're like turning back on to start to produce that estrogen. So during that first seven days of our menstrual cycle, our superpower is creativity. That's when our body is literally starting the creation process. It has to get that egg ready for it to be released out. So the body starts prepping that egg for its next release. So day one through seven, your superpowers are creativity. Day seven through 14 ish is when you are entering into the next phase. So about day 12 to 14. is when the egg releases. And so that's when FSH and SH spike in your body, follicle stimulating hormone and luteinizing hormone are stimulated in your body to release the egg. Carrie, are you aware what other hormones spikes during that time of our menstrual cycle? Testosterone. Yes. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Testosterone. Right. And so, I mean, what do we have to do as humans to keep the species alive? Procreate. And mother nature is so clever. She is so clever because like in order to attract a mate, we have to be like, we have, we have to have our mojo, you know, like we have all of those that surge in testosterone that we get during, during that phase of our menstrual cycle gives us energy and also makes us our most charismatic. So, During that phase from day seven to day 14 ish of your menstrual cycle is when communication is your superpower. Okay. Okay. So you have creativity the first. So that's when you like start all your new projects. So if you're like considering like how to use this for time management, when creativity is your superpower, that's when you start those projects. Yeah, I

Kari: 28:16

just rearranged my entire house during that period. So uh, I'm hearing you. You're hearing

Aubrey: 28:22

me. Well, y'all, we are here right now because I'm ovulating. I don't plan any interviews when I'm not on my, when I'm not ovulating because that's when I am going to be my, when I'm going to be my most articulate. So in your daily life. That's when you, uh, well, and you're, you're, that's when you plan your interviews, that's when you plan your business meetings, that's when you plan your negotiations, that's when you have an, really an important thing you want to talk about with your spouse, you hold on to it until this phase of your menstrual cycle, because this is when you're going to be the most clear with your words of getting your thoughts Out of your mouth. No.

Kari: 29:09

I mean, that makes a lot of sense. Cause we'll go through and we'll do interviews and I'll be like, man, I was just off on that interview. I wasn't there. It does make sense. Now, I unfortunately don't have the luxury to fully book all of my stuff around that, but I can kind of start to hone in on my strengths around that time and conduct the interviews accordingly. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Aubrey: 29:30

I mean, there are some things in our life that are time sensitive that we can't around our menstrual cycles, you know, but it's about being aware of what your superpowers are in that time.

Kari: 29:41

Yes, that

Casey: 29:42

was going to be my actual kind of rebuttal question. It was like, I am completely on board. I love the fact that you're talking about knowing yourself and how you can plan to do these things around that. So how do you adapt? Whenever the unforeseen comes through or you have time pressing issues that you don't fall in along with this time of being in that super powered state. Yeah,

Aubrey: 30:02

absolutely. And let's get through all of the cycles. Is that okay? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So the next phase is from ish day 14 to ish day 21. And that is okay. So your body just released an egg. And it was either fertilized or it wasn't right. And the body is intelligent and knows if it was fertilized, if it was. And during, so right, is that point is happening right before then progesterone starts to enter into your system. Do you guys have kids? Yes. Okay. Carrie, what happened with you right before you had a baby? Like right before I had the baby,

Kari: 30:45

like the screaming. Is that what

Aubrey: 30:47

you're referring to? No, no, no. Like before you had the baby. Oh, months before I had the baby? Like just one month before you had the baby.

Kari: 30:55

I, that would probably be the like nesting phase. Like, yeah, getting ready for everything to come together. Like, yeah,

Aubrey: 31:03

absolutely. You were nesting. Exactly. Progesterone is what enters into the body after the egg is released. I call that the baby bed making hormone. Okay, because if the progesterone is what thickens the uterine lining to to where the egg is If it implants, the progesterone is what gives it a place to implant. And so the progesterone either continues to go up, up, up, up, up, up throughout the duration of the pregnancy, all the way up to the end. It's the what, or if there's not an egg there, it drops off. Okay. And cause you don't need it. So that the progesterone is what nurtures. It's what your superpower during that phase of your cycle or detailed detail orientation. Okay. Okay. Because think about nesting, right? Yeah. It's just when you're like cleaning the, the crap out of the cracks and the, and getting deep into the baseboards and stuff like that. Mm-hmm. you see all of those things, those details that you typically don't see. Yeah. And that's the gift, gift of progesterone. It helps you see the details. Okay. So then either there was a baby there and that progesterone keeps going or, or it drops off and all the hormones start to drop off. That's when it's winter. So progesterone is fall in our body and then whenever it falls off. It's winter and everything just falls off. And during that stage is when we're the Oracle, when that's our superpower, it's the Oracle. Are you guys familiar with the story of the red tent?

Casey: 32:53

I am not actually. I don't think Carrie's giving me like, look like, huh?

Kari: 32:57

No,

Aubrey: 32:57

the red tent. No, ma'am. The red tent. Okay. The red tent is, it was a story that was written. Gosh, it's really old, but it was written about ancient Hebrew times. And, you know, consider a time before there were pads and tampons, and before there were hormones in our food, and before there was birth control, before there was anything that regulated our month, our monthly cycle, ancient Hebrews would put up something called the red tent. And it would be the place where bleeding mothers, bleeding women would go in to get their blood back to the earth. They would, the, the women, the crones who were no longer of bleeding ages would lay out beds of straw for the bleeding women to rest in and give their blood back to the earth. And that was the time when they shared their stories. The women share their stories. And they shared their magic and that's when they say that the veil of illusion is the thinnest for women that we can see the beyond the veil that we are most in touch with our highest self during that time. That's why I hold circles called women's circles called the red tent. It's to emulate, to emulate the time of when. We women used to gather together to share our magic with each other. So during that time is when our, our superpower is decision making. And I used to call bullshit. On that, because, you know, that was the time when I would like hit below the belt with my husband and I would say really mean things. And so I was like, Oracle bullshit. I make really bad decisions during that phase. I make really bad decisions. How the fuck can I be an Oracle? Well, here's the secret is communication is not my superpower. So if anything comes out of my mouth, it's probably going to be the wrong thing. And it's probably going to fuck things up. It's the time to go inward and to listen and to pay attention to that rage that's creeping up that spot up your spine to that righteous anger that we feel because that righteous anger is usually a signal that something is off balance in our world. And if we can avoid the urge. To spew our venom on someone around us during that time to dissipate that internal pressure that we're feeling. If instead we can contain it and instead ask the question, what are some productive solutions for this that I'm feeling angry about right now? What are some productive solutions to that? Because creativity is going to be my superpower next week. And I can start to creatively work on that. No. And I love that

Kari: 36:03

because you're like, no, this is my week to listen. And kind of how you're breaking it down. Um, I'm, I'm going to start doing that. I love that. That is very, very helpful because even for my own self, like I've kind of struggled with like, man, I'm on my, I can tell I'm about to be on my cycle. I'm getting really fussy lately. And, but to like, kind of. Structurize it out in that way, just to give yourself a full on better understanding of your body. Because like you're saying, the, the physical stuff that's happening to our body, there's a chemical reaction that's causing that the same, and then we can't expect our emotions to just be the exact same every single day when we have all these internal push and pull happening. So it's insanely helpful to, to hear this and to be able to break that down.

Aubrey: 36:51

So your question before your, your question before Casey was like, Oh, how do you make this work when you, you don't always know what's coming? Is

Casey: 37:00

that, how would, how would you, uh, advise someone on that to handle the unexpected, uh, whenever they, you know, that you kind of get it, we plan the best that we can, and we try to make the most of what we can. So how would you talk to someone or what advice would you give them whenever they do have all this unexpected time sensitive things that come flying at

Aubrey: 37:18

them? Is do the best with the tools that you have is, I mean, there, there are always going to be things that are time sensitive that we can't plan for. There's always going to be that, but there's also always going to be things that are that you see. Coming up in your life, whether it be a kid's birthday party, you need to plan for a vacation that you're planning for a redecoration project in your house. There are always going to be things. That you can see in the future, whether or not your work environment allows you to practice this philosophy, you know, everybody is at a different, something different where maybe there are some things we, we can plan for, but other things that, that we can't. So, what, what I would say is the first thing I do on a quarterly basis is do a huge. Brain dump, sit down with a journal and write down everything that I see in the next three months that are coming up, uh, in my personal life, in my professional life, everything that I can see coming up, work projects right, everything, right. I jot them all down. And then I break each of those items down into those four categories and I break. So like step by step, you know, like you have a project, you have a project that's coming up and there's going to be planning of the project. There's going to be a starting of the project. There is going to be times when you have to communicate about the project. There's going to go into the details of the project, right? There's going to be times when you need to make decisions about things. Everything I see coming up in the next three months, I will break down into those four different categories and I have a master list on my computer of, of creativity, communications, details, and decisions of all the things that are coming up in my life. And every Friday I sit down to plan the next week. And so on Friday I'll go to my calendar and I'll be like, okay, on Monday, where am I going to be in my menstrual cycle? Cause I'm tracking it all the time. Okay. So next week, so this, this week I was on, had creativity still on Monday and the rest of the week is communication. So when I was going to plan my, my week I looked at, okay, on Monday, what, what do I, first, what do I have that's time sensitive? On this list. What do I know is the first thing that's due of, of creativity that I could start? Cause it's going to be the next thing coming up. And so I put that on my list. Then the same thing with, you know, communication is, is there anything that's the most time sensitive that I would, I would benefit me to checking off my list this week because it's coming up the soonest and so we'll plan that into my week and then shit comes up. Yeah. Shit comes up and so then you just do your best. You do your best. But one thing I've learned is and not every, not every job is this way, but more are than you assume that you can say, I'm sorry, I have a meeting. that day. Can we, can we meet two days later? Two days. A lot can change in your menstrual cycle.

Kari: 40:50

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

Aubrey: 40:52

A lot

Casey: 40:53

can change. Well, awesome. I appreciate that. I don't want to see you. Everything that I'm hearing from you right now to me just goes, because we're a podcast all about sex. All of this to me is saying, wow, you're, you're, you're packaging this really nice way. To take a lot of the stressors in your life and just help them melt away. And whenever we're in a level of low stress, it allows us to be more sexually open. We're more open to being partnered. We're more open to sexual exploration. We're more open to orgasm. We're more open to all of these really fucking cool things that come along. With a good sex life. So I love the fact that you, you've come up with this and for, just for the sake of time, I, I, we wanted to go into other stuff, but this has been so already. So. Just enlightening. So I don't think we'll be able to get into a few of the other chapters today, but what you've done so far and the work that you've accomplished with this is quite impressive. And I think that it's a really, really good way for people to reorganize themselves to take a deep dive in. I know that I saw that you, it looks like you have a chapter on shadow work, which me and Kerry are fucking huge on. Yeah. Um, so I, I, I love to

Kari: 42:03

hate shadow work, so mean, but so

Casey: 42:07

helpful, bringing the unconscious stuff into the consciousness and learning how to deal with this is a really, really cool thing. So, uh, Aubrey, man, holy shit. You can talk like the most complimentary way possible.

Aubrey: 42:19

Yeah, let me, if I have time to just sprinkle in two nuggets that I think might be helpful here. Let's do it. Go for it. Yeah. So in regards to, you're talking about, this is all sex podcast and we just talked about cycles, right? And a lot of women experience a lot of physical discomfort during their menstrual cycle or just like leading up to it. One of the best pain relievers there, there is, is an orgasm. Yes. Yeah. So, you know, many people shy away from intimacy during their menstrual cycle because of the mess of it. And, you know, to each their own. If, if you don't want to have sex during your menstrual cycle because of whatever reason to each their own. But if you don't want to have sex, I highly encourage self stimulation during that time. Masturbation. I have experimented before with giving myself an orgasm every four hours when I have menstrual cramps in order to help relieve. And it is a huge, it makes a huge Difference in that orgasms help with, with cramps. So that's, that's one nugget. The last nugget is we maybe suggested talking about relationships and how this can help that. And one thing I just want to share with all of your listeners is. In your intimate relationships, your partner is your mirror. You are attracted to them to heal something in your heart or in your psyche or in your soul. That's the end. And any time you find yourself pissed off at your partner, that's an opportunity for you to look in the mirror and say, when do I do that too? Yeah. Yeah. When do I do that too? And To be the change we want to see in the world to focus on healing ourselves first when we heal ourselves. There's a ripple effect That affects our environment. So quite often when we feel those issues in our home and our sex life and our relationship or whatever, when we feel those issues, I triple dog dare all of your listeners, instead of pointing fingers and unleashing our venom that we pause and look inward and consider when I do that and start changing our own behavior. Before we worry about anyone else changing.

Casey: 44:45

Yep. That's one of our favorite concepts that we love to talk about. We always, we always have a saying that we like to say, and that's mirror, mirror, bitch,

Kari: 44:52

have a shirt that says mirror, mirror, bitch,

Casey: 44:56

all about whatever, like noticing the things that we dislike or, or that anger has to trigger us and other people. It's more important to take a look at yourself because it's likely a self reflection.

Aubrey: 45:06

Absolutely. And that's, you know, it was the biggest changes that I. During those last couple days of my menstrual cycle, I always found myself unleashing any of the venom and now I practice silence. Practice silence and listening during those last couple of days and any of those things that are pissing me off. Oh shit. When do I do that? Yeah. Casey's going to

Kari: 45:25

love the advice that you're giving me right now.

Casey: 45:32

Yes, I am. So if

Kari: 45:34

our, if our listeners would like to get ahold of you,

Aubrey: 45:38

like to

Kari: 45:39

get your book how can we direct them to you?

Aubrey: 45:41

Absolutely. So just go to Amazon and search Sleeping Beauty Awakened. And it will pop up on there by Aubrey Warren. It's a really cool cover with goddess with, with, uh, several different arms coming off of them to represent all the different faces of the divine feminine. And so, and just FYI, when you go to that on Amazon. It's going to bring up just the book, but the first one it brings up is the black and white copy. If you click on the hyperlink that says two books, you can click it and you can find that there's also a color version available. And so there's a chapter called, which is bitches in the energy body in there. So I talk about the chakra system and so on. So if you're someone who's stimulated by color You might want to color copy and you might not find it if you don't find that extra high. Yeah. So that for anybody, but if there's anybody who's like local in Dallas, Fort Worth, I invite you to come to a local DFW women's or red tint women's circle. We're in Keller, Texas at Keller yoga. Uh, we meet every other month. We talk about these sorts of things. That's the, that's the My platform, I guess, for talking about these things on a regular basis. You can find me on Facebook as Aubrey Monk Warren on Facebook. You can find me on Instagram as Aub Warren on Instagram. You can find me on Tik TOK as Aubrey Warren on Tik TOK, or you can go to www. aubreywarren. com. Love it.

Kari: 47:15

You are everywhere. That is amazing. You are doing it right. This is how we do things. You're doing it right.

Aubrey: 47:22

You know, for any of those people who are into the rave scene, I invite you to come to Backwoods Music Festival. That's my baby. I'm the event director there. And I'm also the resident yoga teacher. And I'm the philosophy teacher too. So I'll teach workshops during the day. So I teach a sex magic workshop and a shadow work workshop and yoga.

Kari: 47:40

And we definitely need to be there next time. You should totally definitely need to be there next time.

Aubrey: 47:45

You could

Kari: 47:47

pop my rave cherry. I've never been

Aubrey: 47:48

to a rave.

Kari: 47:54

I love the

Casey: 47:54

fucking rape cherry. Oh my God. I love it. All right. And on that note, for another episode of come with Casey, we are Dr. Casey Sanders and I'm

Kari: 48:03

Carrie Sanders. Talk to y'all next time.