F**K Like Water

Let's talk fluidity in your sex positions! We often hear people discuss sex positions and variations of each, but what we don't often hear is how to flow through each position in a way that is fluid. Mapping out what this looks like can elevate your bedroom game in a VERY erotic way. 

Don't forget! Nighshade Burlesque is the first Friday of every month with some truly inspiring acts. 

Need a burlesque Photographer? Carla Renee Intimates is the perfect person to get you feeling sexy with some amazing artwork that might be private...or not!. 

Transcript

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Kari 0:00

so I've really been loving our truth or dare game.

Casey 0:03

We've been doing this for a minute, right? I like the fact that we both get into truth or dare. We

Kari 0:09

take it very serious. It's a very serious

Casey 0:11

game. Yeah. I mean, last week you had me taking a shot of crown

Kari 0:16

apple. Can I just say how proud I am of that? Just thought process lunch on a Tuesday. Yeah. Like we're hanging out at lunch and we are lucky enough. To have the opportunity to get to do lunch together. And so Mondays and Tuesdays, we're kind of geared towards the podcast and all the other stuff that we have going on, but we always set aside time to like, let's at least do lunch with our busy schedule. And recently we started playing truth or dare with our outings because we had an episode in those for so long. I mean, we have, but we, we had an episode recently where we kind of talked about like. Going outside of the norm, not falling into a specific like standard and the thing is, is when we. Tell that to you. We also have to fall under that. And so we had a really fun truth or dare game today while we were like writing out the podcast and what we're going to be doing and talking

Casey 1:08

about. So I think one of the things that's cool about it is that you listen to the show. You clearly know that Carrie and I are very, very relaxed. And open and honest with each other. We think it's one of the keystones of any good relationship, but one of the issues that a lot of people run into is that they become uncomfortable with what they hear me and Carrie almost make it a point to be like, I want to be

Kari 1:30

uncomfortable by this

Casey 1:31

question. I want, not only do I want to ask a really truthful question, but I want it to be something that when I do hear the answer. I'm okay with my discomfort.

Kari 1:39

Yeah. Like, and, and I have to own the fact that I'm asking something that might make me uncomfortable, but it is up to me on how I react. Or like display that discomfort.

Casey 1:52

But I will just like anyone else have had those moments where it's like, Oh shit.

Kari 1:55

Yeah. I mean, as positive and everything as, as we discuss and talk about, like it's also real, it is real. And I mean, even now to this day, we, we had a discussion this morning about our is one thing that I will say with us. And like you just said, is communication is key. I love one question that I asked you and I we're not gonna give you an answer 'cause that's just not what we're doing. But my favorite question I asked you today was, who in your friends group would you have a threesome with?

Casey 2:28

That's right. And it was not like who in my friends group? Like which women? It was like, no, because

Kari 2:33

it's easy.

Casey 2:34

Opportunity, easy. That's super easy. Right? If we were presented the opportunity for like a male, male, female, threesome, Which, which friend would it be in the, with the, the friends group that we have would be those

Kari 2:46

no, no, I left it open ended now because when we talked about it, I was like any friend you've ever had. So I was like, I'm

Casey 2:53

not, I'm not leaving out timelines here.

Kari 2:55

Okay. Okay. Yeah. Any friend group.

Casey 2:57

So we had that discussion. So if you're sitting back listening, wondering if you made the list, maybe you did. Maybe you should just ask,

Kari 3:06

but another cool thing that we got this week was from our absolute favorite photographer, Carla,

Casey 3:11

Carla. God damn it. She's so

Kari 3:15

talented. She

Casey 3:15

does really good work. Anytime she posts anything online, I'm like, I'll I'll look at the photos and be like, your lighting is good. Your placement of your subject is good. Everything has a really good eye for all of it looks good. You just have such a good eye for photography and to be able to do that, to help empower. People to encourage them to, to look at their bodies and see the sexuality behind it and to make them feel empowered and just doing a lot of good in the world.

Kari 3:42

And one thing that I'll say though, is like, whenever I was kind of going into this, like concept of a headshot, I wasn't trying to have it be a business headshot. This isn't going to go on my LinkedIn profile. This, this is how I want to embody who I am as a person. And there was one shot in particular that she took. That I was like, that's it. That is exactly the image that I'm looking to portray as my person, myself, and within this industry that we are in now with with the people that we look to engage with. Like I have an image that I want to portray and I love that it was captured in a way that I wouldn't have imagined a headshot being. But it ended up working insanely, insanely well. And then Casey, I know that we did discuss this last time, but her being able to like, help me come out of my shell. Yeah. And, and she realized what your needs were as a. What do you call that muse? I don't know what the fuck you call it. Like, I didn't want to call you like a client, but like you as an individual, she knew how to break through that like awkward barrier. And I love it. Cause we've got the headshots back. And one of the first photos, you're like, that is terrible. I hate this shot. And I was like, yeah, that was before she realized how to get you comfortable. And she did. And then all the shots after that, like you're, you're in, that was your photo shoot. You see, you

Casey 5:13

look so much better. You watch where like the very first one, I'm stiff as a board standing up

Kari 5:18

and I'm watching my husband from aside. And I'm like, why the fuck does he look like that? Like, why is he so awkward? And, and I love the fact that like. I didn't even have the, the wherewithal or the mindset to alter that for you. She saw

Casey 5:34

it and she did a great job. So whenever you get the chance to, you can see some of the work posted onto onto our page. You're also going to be seeing a lot of those on our website. Our website. So excited. And then you can always reach out to Carla to see what she's got going on and see if there's a way that you can

Kari 5:50

maybe create that. So again, it's Carla Renee intimate. You can find her or if you can't find her, just go to her profile page, just go to her Instagram and you'll see her linked up.

Casey 5:59

It's always there. Now, the next thing we have going on today, today, this coming Friday is October the sixth today to them.

Kari 6:08

October six, the first Friday of every month. And what is that people?

Casey 6:12

Nightshade burlesque,

Kari 6:13

our

Casey 6:14

favorite local burlesque show here to Fort

Kari 6:15

Worth, Texas. I never actually enjoyed the beginning of the month. That's always had like a fuck that time in my head, you know, exactly like fuck rant and all this bullshit. But now I'm like, it's, it's the first of the month. Fuck.

Casey 6:30

Yes. Yeah. So now we have this opportunity because we do a, we do a table every single month. We've been, this'll be our fourth show out of six. They've only been doing it for six. This is the sixth show, six months. We've been to four of those.

Kari 6:41

Yeah, last four, we have been front and

Casey 6:44

center, front and center. We're happy to do it again. So we'll have our table there. If you're listening to this, that would be tonight. Yeah. If you're

Kari 6:50

listening today and you don't know what to do tonight. Go to the Cicada and hit up some,

Casey 6:54

there's still, if I, if the timing is correct, there's still, I think

Kari 6:58

there's floor, there's not table left,

Casey 6:59

there's some GA tickets left. Yeah. Couches are sold out. Tables are sold out. GA still has some on the board. So come out, check out a few of the vendors, check out the show. It's an amazing time. And we always enjoy working with Nightshade. They're my favorite and ready to kick off the show. Yeah, let's do it. All right. So here we go. We want to start today off with a question. Actually, I have been granted consent to share this question and

Kari 7:23

sidebar, please send us questions. We really do love this. It gives us an opportunity to talk with you. And then with your permission, we do share it on the show, but understand that the question that you have, a hundred people have that same question. So you being brave enough to say, Hey, I have this question. You're bringing it to us. You allow us to bring it on the show. Here's our advice. Please continue to, to, to send these in because you're not just getting advice for yourself, but you're helping someone that's too afraid to ask. Let's get the question. Yes,

Casey 7:51

absolutely. So, I'm going to paraphrasing here, cause this is a very long question. Yeah, it was lengthy. It was lengthy, but this person was very, very straightforward with it. Very, very much concerned and wondering how. They can move forward, move forward with this. So essentially the question is, where do they find a kitten?

Kari 8:09

Can you describe what a kitten is? Let's go there first. We're going to, I mean, I can get on like Facebook friends and I can find you a kitten, but like, what do you mean? We're not talking about the same kitten.

Casey 8:21

I'm going to wait. I'll wait until you're done.

Kari 8:24

I'm going to bring another note. No, I'm done. I'm done. I'm sorry. I'm done.

Casey 8:27

to break this down a little bit because the first thing that's important whenever you're discussing any sort of BDSM with anyone is to educate yourself and define your terms. So before we even dive into the full question, we're going to talk about what it means to define your terms. Anytime you're discussing BDSM, you need to be able to communicate with whoever you're talking to about what these things are. So whenever you're like a brat to one person is not going to exactly be a brat to another. These aren't universal terms. Some people use them interchangeably. Some people use them differently. So whenever somebody asks me about a kitten, are you talking about? A furry. Are you talking about an ultra brat? so it, in other words, what we're really saying is that you need to be able to be sure of what you're, you're trying to communicate in the first place. So whenever we're talking about kitten play and BDSM, it's really, it's a subcategory of, of domination and submission. So it, it involves the desire to be seen or treated as a, as a pet. To an owner. They have, there's official ceremonies for this if you want to go that far into it. Yeah, but you can do all sorts. Like, it's almost endless is how you want to make it, but it's being treated as a pet. Yeah. Okay. Now that can be as simple as being like, I want you to tell me where to go. And when I get to Eat and all that kind of stuff. Give me like a little

Kari 9:42

collar with a bell

Casey 9:42

on it. Right. Or you can go as far into as being like, here's your saucer of milk

Kari 9:47

in the corner. And you lick that, that's what you have the

Casey 9:49

rest of the day. And so that's more of what I mean, whenever I say define your terms. Yeah. Is you need to decide for yourself what this means. Because if you go into a group and you're like, Oh, I'm a kitten. And you get somebody that's like, great, I'm looking for one. And then they present you with scenarios that are completely outside of what you thought it was. That's an issue. Yeah. And so you need to be able to

Kari 10:11

define like what it is that you're wanting. And then at the same time, what it is that you're looking for under the terminology that you're deciding piques your

Casey 10:19

interest. Yeah. So my biggest suggestion there is to. Define your terms by doing your research. Like look online about what it even means to have these things in the first place.

Kari 10:28

No, I love that because once you can define it, then you know how to then like portray it. Yes.

Casey 10:34

It's that's what, that's what I'm headed with. That is that if you know how to define what you're looking for, you can establish boundaries around what it is you're looking for. So as you're vetting these people, because keep in mind, even in the domination submission, if you are a sub, if you are, that is your goal. You still have every, every right and every privilege of setting your own boundaries. No Dom in the world gets to cross your boundaries, enter into a contract that's mutual, a true Dom, somebody that's actually doing a good job is not there to just take all of

Kari 11:09

your rights. No, they don't want to cross your boundaries. They aggressively respect your boundaries. And so, yes, I love the point that you're making. If you're getting into a situation with the Dom, that is not like, not only honoring them, but like making you honor your own boundaries, then you're kind of already in the wrong Relationship or set up

Casey 11:29

now to this person in particular. There is a subset of this because this is somebody that is a survivor of sexual abuse. This is somebody that has had a relationship before where there was a dom that didn't respond for biggest red flag in the entire culture. Doesn't believe in safe words.

Kari 11:47

Yeah. You read that to me and I think my jaw dropped. I'm like, excuse me. We, that is like the foundation of what we do is communication in safe words. Yeah. I'm like, what?

Casey 11:58

So it it, it was a big, it was a big red flag. Yeah. To be like, oh, you were in a relationship with someone that, mm-hmm. doesn't believe in safe words. So that's something that moving forward, you as somebody that does have the urge to be submissive. Needs to set the boundaries around. Remember, submissive doesn't mean that you just relinquish everything. It doesn't mean you relinquish at all. Now, once you find somebody that you are comfortable with and you have established boundaries with you, you guys get to choose exactly what that plays out as, and that may be at times whenever you do say I'm relinquishing. Full full hour,

Kari 12:28

but that only comes with full and utter contrast for that partner. You know, trust is a great

Casey 12:34

word.

Kari 12:37

It is communication,

Casey 12:41

but you do have absolutely for that, you need to reexamine your perspective because if you are someone that has had a bad experience, then as you go through and say, okay, I think I'm ready to have another experience, the likelihood is that you're going to be hyper vigilant. You're going to be not quick to trust you're going to be, and that's okay. So my biggest piece of advice of advice there is to don't go this road alone. Whether that is being with a counselor or a friend that is further into it, the, you search for a mentor,

Kari 13:10

find someone that can help guide you. Mentorship that. Is going to be one of the biggest ways, especially if you're newer into it. I mean, Casey and I, we've explored newer things together and we've had mentorships, like we didn't explore these things blindly. And that is one of the bigger aspects that you say, and I love that you brought that up because again, you're meeting with someone that's more experienced to help you understand boundaries within the playing boundaries within yourself and then boundaries within the partner that you're going to be with.

Casey 13:38

So learn how to shift your perspective from, I have this bad experience, therefore I'm hypervigilant versus allowing yourself to have another experience. You need to separate them out. Now that doesn't mean you need to forget that altogether, but you need to understand that your new experiences are separate from your old experiences.

Kari 13:57

So can I bring up a point that you were making earlier on when you were saying to kind of like identify what your, what, like the role that you're wanting to play? And I feel like sometimes That's hard. You can have a kink. But not necessarily have the information around that kink. And my biggest advice, if it is something that you're very much drawn to, not only doing your research as to the role that you need to portray but also turn to porn and, and search that style that you like search, if you are into being a kitten, what that kitten play would look like on both sides of things, you know, being a kitten and then controlling a kitten. I have derived a lot of knowledge through kinks that I currently have through watching porn.

Casey 14:45

Yes, there's always the opportunity to, to look into instructionals and things like that. Now, understand that you are watching Hollywood. We, we say this every time. Oh yeah, we say that every time. It's like our, it's like our disclaimer that we have. Yeah, we have to. That you're watching a Hollywood movie. So it's an exaggeration of what, what the real life is like. But the purpose of doing that research specifically into pornography is to see if seeing Acts like that arouse

Kari 15:08

you. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So am I watching this and it's turning me on or do I want to do this and then I watch it happen and then I'm realizing I'm actually not turned on from this.

Casey 15:18

Take it for surface value for face value and just find out if it arouses you or not. Allow that to kind of guide you a little bit on, yeah, I'd like to look further into this. So do that. And then as Carrie was saying, do your research. One of our greatest ways that you can do that is you want to find a solid group of people in your area that can be through looking for dungeons around you. You are welcome to use FetLife, but as we've said in the past, that's kind of hit or miss. Not everybody on there is great people. So you have to start to learn how to navigate, which is why we say find somebody that can help mentor you through this. Yes. If you're not fully experienced in it, if you're still trying to figure these things out, find a mentor. And so we go back to finding like a dungeon or something in your area, find, find people that have a good solid social circle that you can start to integrate yourself into. And also don't be

Kari 16:05

afraid. Like, I would say Twitter is, is not the worst place. I mean, Twitter is like the downgrade of Pornhub. In my opinion, you can see anything you want to see on Twitter. If you want to find a community you know, I have reached out on Twitter and found people that were into Shabari because my husband and I are into Shabari. Like you can find those groups of individuals that are into the same thing that you're into and reach out to them. There has not been one person in Shabari. That I have reached out to that has been like, no, I don't want to talk to you about it. Like, we all love kinks and we all love people that love the same kinks that we love.

Casey 16:43

Because all of these things are seen as, as not in the mainstream. Whenever you find other people that are into it. We're like,

Kari 16:50

yeah, let's talk about it. Yeah. Let's talk about it all day and day. Yeah. So, so don't be afraid to do the hashtag furries and see people that you can find that you want to talk to, to get advice from, or to start like forming a group of individuals or like minded individuals. Sure.

Casey 17:07

We hope that answers a little bit of your question and as always reach out to us with any questions that you have. Come with Casey at gmail. com at CW Casey underscore official. And also on all social platforms.

Kari 17:19

And then very soon we are going to have a website launched and that is going to be the most core point way to get ahold of us coaching calls, all of our blog posts, all of our videos, all of our shit is going to be on there in person opportunities, all the upcoming events, which we're excited about, but not announcing it.

Casey 17:37

Right. So anyway, our topic for the day. F and a who likes sex. Everybody's

Kari 17:44

raising their

Casey 17:45

hand. Right. Everybody's like, that's a stupid fucking question. It may be everyone likes sex. Well, not everybody, but a lot of people like sex. The majority of us like sex and what better way to spice up your sex that with fun sex

Kari 17:56

positions. Because let's just face it. It is very easy to get in bed and do your little like spooning position or doing your missionary position or minimal effort. Yeah, exactly. Minimal effort, but. We're, we're going to go through a bunch of different positions, but my favorite aspects of what Casey's trying to present to you are the transition of, of positions. And I cannot, and I know I just kind of like stole his thunder just a teensy bit, but I think it's such a great all over the goddamn place. It's fine. It's fine. I think it's a great idea to not only talk about the different positions that you can be in for pleasure. But also how to like fluidly.

Casey 18:37

Yes. So the purpose for all this is because we've seen post after post after commentary, after comment about what's the best, best sex position for you. What are variants of these sex positions? They're all great. Blah, blah, blah. And that's all well and good, but you have every fucking person on the internet talking about that now. So we want to take the next step and we want to talk about fluidity amongst sexual positions, because what's better than. Being able to have sex with a person, engage in good, amazing sex, and do it in such a fluid way that it just gets to continue. You don't have to worry

Kari 19:08

about starting and stopping. Yes, there's no breaks in

Casey 19:11

it. Outside of your chosen breaks that you want to have, be like, oh, this has been fun, let's take a breather, and get back to it. But when you're in the heat of the moment, and you want to be able to go from one sex position to the next, to the next, to the next, and do it in a way that is just fun for everybody. So, with having said that, Carrie, what's your favorite sex position?

Kari 19:29

So I, and I'm not just saying this just because we talked about the transition of, but it is a transitional sexual position is when we are doing doggy style and then you'll like lower down and I can like feel you on my back and I can feel you like pushing in, but then you'll like put your hand up against the front of my chest and then like raise me up to a seated position. So going from like, Doggy style, which feels amazing to actively still fucking me while pushing me up into more of this like higher seated position where you're behind me. Fuck. That is, that is one of my absolute favorite enjoyable, right? That is,

Casey 20:11

I will say one of the most versatile positions that we have is likely doggy style. There's so many variations that you can do so many positions you can do with it. So let's, let's kind of dive into that a little bit for a second because My personal favorite whenever it comes to a variation of doggy that can be more fluid. Mm-hmm. is whenever it's doggy. But your legs are on the inside of mine. Mine are on the outside. Yeah. My

Kari 20:32

legs are together and they're like hunched

Casey 20:34

because the what a couple things this allows us to do. Yeah. One is that we can take a regular doggy style position. Mm-hmm. two, you can sit back under your heels in like a yoga child's pose. In order to get that like kind of deeper penetration. That is a really good one. And it also, because your legs are closed, it tightens up the outside walls of the vagina allows allowing for that increased pleasure for both of us. It also allows. If we're on the floor that then I can get up onto my feet and be crouched down and shift into that one. We

Kari 21:03

know. I love the point that you're making though, is because you can be in this like little position, like you're saying, like, these are the small, these are small transitions, but even those like you're right, like being on the floor and being in that position. And then it's very easy for you to stay inside of me and you kind of like lift me up and move my legs and you stay where you are. You can move. Within your like sexual intimacy and it doesn't have to be like, okay, stop, pull out reposition and then let's go here.

Casey 21:35

So going back into that, having that like regular doggy, one leg up, both legs up, putting you in child's pose, lifting you up into a seated position. All that works really well. And it also allows to make a transition. This is this nice fluid transition to you being on your side. So if we go from doggy and your legs are on the inside of mine, I can then kind of drop you all the way to the side. I can keep one leg knelt and then move one of your legs up onto, say, my chest. So now... We're almost like in this scissoring position where you have my, my legs sitting there and you're almost in between me, but you're on your side. And so there's deep penetration that we can experience like that. And that would also hit more of not, you can either hit the a spot or the P spot like that. So on either side of the cervix, depending on the angle that you're taking on that way, so you have the smooth transition from doggy into a side lane position for at least the person being penetrated.

Kari 22:30

No, I love that because I think if you think about it in like. Moving in like, like a, like a fear and how it moves in its circle. And you can do that with your body. You circulate out to the side and then now you're on the side and now the woman's on top and then you can like go move, continue to like rotate around. Like there are ways to stay penetrated. And, and then move through sex. And that is honestly some of my favorites. Like, yeah, there's times that you can just like pull out, completely change positions. But if you think of it as like your body's kind of like rolling and connective together, there's a lot of different, different positions and stuff that you can do to elevate. I mean, all aspects of it technically, but then also one of the things that I was, I personally wanted to discuss and we kind of discussed it earlier on our walk was like, just because you're in this position doesn't mean that now. Hands can move here. Her hands can move here. Guy's hands can move here. Like, don't think of yourselves. It's just like stationary. Think of like, y'all are now this ability to move and flow together. And I don't want it to seem like it's just this like sexual position.

Casey 23:40

It's that old Bruce Lee quote, like, be like water.

Kari 23:43

Yes, exactly. Thank you. Flow with things. Flow together. Move together. Rotate together. It doesn't have to be a one position and then that's it. The reason why I say, and I love that you were making that like analogy is like flow like that, move a little bit here, move a little bit there. Don't think of it as these big transitions. Think of it as just a soft movement. I'm a transition here, a soft mood I'm gonna do here. And then like guys listening. Grabbing your girl and pulling her into the next position is probably the sexist thing that you could do. Yeah, that is how you feel. It is, you know, that,

Casey 24:21

you know, that one of the biggest things I stand for, I get it. Is that everyone likes something different. So communicate to each other. Do you

Kari 24:28

like being pulled around? Make sure your partner knows that. Yes. Like that was my next. Sentence. Thank you. You're very welcome for getting there first. You always get there first. Bullshit. You

Casey 24:39

know it.

Kari 24:42

Don't tell lies on this podcast. Yeah. That's a lie, but, but no, I mean, yeah, you're, you're absolutely right. Like having and like understanding, like, but no, I mean, yeah, but no, yeah. I mean, you interrupted my thought too.

Casey 24:56

I love interrupting your thoughts. It's one of my favorite things to do. So as, as you, again, Carrie's making a very good point. It is that be like water. It's just flow with each other. And this is one of the importances in sexual compatibility. Is that if you are going from one position to the next, and you are communicating, it should be able to flow like that. If you wanted to. If you wanted to be able to flow like that, then make it happen. Again, some of my favorites, as we started off, from that like, Kind of doggy position. I could, we could be near the edge of the bed and I could slowly step off the bed and pull you backwards to the edge of the bed. From there, you could go to standing from there. We could put one leg up on the bed. And that gives better access for you to either touch yourself Exactly. Or me to touch you. Like Exactly.

Kari 25:39

I'll let you're explaining exactly what I was thinking, like not keeping it into the exact

Casey 25:43

thing you wanna, you wanna go, I can go through a full thing from there is going from that standing doggy or going back onto kneeling and then put you onto your side and then flip you over into a missionary style. Mm-hmm. on the edge of the bed where I'm standing. And you're on the bed, we can push legs back there. We can slide back onto the bed. Like there's, there's literally, I mean, it's a limitless way that you can do things. You both can engage with each other just fluidly. And if something isn't comfortable, instead of like, let it, allowing it to pull you out of the moment. It can be a good communicative tool to be like, okay, that's uncomfortable. Cool. I'll just move to the next thing. I'm going to put your leg here. How does that feel? I think the

Kari 26:21

point is too, is that there's no wrong answer. Just try, stop sitting there in the same position every single day, every single time. Like stop. Move around, communicate with your partner, what they do like. And when you move and ask them, do you like this? Would you like it if I did this? Did you like what I did a second ago? Like communicate during sex and, and don't just think it's like, this is a position we have. We have to, and this is great. No, but it works for us. And don't let

Casey 26:49

it, don't let yourself fall into the the habitual sex. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, but it works. Start. We're in missionary. And then we moved to doggy. And then we moved to her on top and then we moved back to missionary and that's our routine because it feels good and it works for us. Look, you could do that if you want to, but at some point I would feel like that's going to run its course. So being open to different ways to do things. I mean,

Kari 27:16

even you right now saying four different positions during sex for people, I feel like is, whoa, people don't really do that. And that's the thing. Like, and that's what we're trying to encourage is stop just falling into the same position. Again, I get to talk to women all the fucking time. You just laid out four positions that I know a lot of women don't even get to do. Like explore this. And if you're a vulva owner. And this is like, you are so intrigued by this. You are just as responsible for your pleasure as your partner is. So if you're not communicating, Hey bro, I'm really tired of missionary. Listen, if you ever

Casey 28:00

say bro to me in the bedroom, I'm going to be like, I'm going to stop for a second. Did you just call me bro? Are we having like a step sibling fantasy? Is that what this role playing is right now? I mean, maybe,

Kari 28:13

but no, I just, I, again. Because I, I, I do talk to women and, and I have posed that question. Okay. Well, what are you doing to alter your sexual interaction? And a lot of them say nothing. So if you're listening to this and you're dissatisfied, your partner's probably also dissatisfied. Talk about it. Communicate it. No one wants to have the same sex position over and over. And it doesn't matter if that's the position that works

Casey 28:42

girl. You're not the only one that wants to change positions. No,

Kari 28:44

that's what I'm saying. Like, it's not just you and your partner probably

Casey 28:48

is too. Your partner wants to do it too. So y'all need to have that conversation. Even if they're like, no, I'm satisfied with what we have and you want it to change. Then say, I would really like it. If we did this, you know, it would arouse me. If we changed positions to maybe this, you know, what aroused me, if we did this, it would, it would be very pleasurable for me. God be selfish in this, like, it's okay to be like, this is what would please me. Let's

Kari 29:11

do this. And in all honesty, I'm sorry, but you should have a partner that would want to fulfill that. If I came to Casey and I was like, Hey, I really want this for my pleasure. I don't even know if I could get the sentence out before he was like, Nope, now I already, I already ordered it. Actually, it's, it should be here

Casey 29:28

tomorrow. I got

Kari 29:29

that prime. But again, if you're not going to communicate that, how the fuck is your partner supposed to know? And, and maybe also like communicate to your fucking self. I'm not happy with the way this is. I am bored with the way this is. Can you make that change? Say that

Casey 29:47

shit out loud. That's a big one for me. And I love doing this. Say it out loud. If you're experiencing an issue where you're not super satisfied with your sex life then you can do this by yourself if you need to. But you can say to yourself out loud I'm not satisfied with sex right now. I want this. Say it out loud. Like fucking make it known to the universe. Put it out there that this is what you want to change. Be real about it and be able to communicate with your partner about it. Like you want to get there. Be truthful with yourself first. Understand, allow you to understand and allow your statements to come clean and then bring it to your partner because you need that change. You deserve that change. That's really cool to have that kind of thing. You know, it's one thing me and Carrie were talking about earlier today is we were talking about transitioning between sex positions and then we were talking about masturbation during sex. So there is that one move that we've all seen it. If you've ever watched porn or we've all tried it and you have some partners that are cool with it, other partners that get all antsy, which I feel is an insecurity issue on my own part. Yeah.

Kari 30:48

Like the guy that doesn't want the girl to touch her. So

Casey 30:51

that's what that actually is, is we're talking about if you're in a certain position and the girl starts touching yourself for me personal, that's a, that's a rousing, like, that's like awesome. I

Kari 30:59

remember the first time I started doing that and you were like. Oh, yes, yes,

Casey 31:07

I remember you telling me that it hadn't been cool for you to do that in the past. It

Kari 31:11

wasn't no, I got like, Oh, why are you doing that?

Casey 31:15

Like, what am I not enough for you? Yes.

Kari 31:19

And that is so frustrating to like, to any male that has ever thought that fuck you. It is not about you

Casey 31:25

actually. So guys remember that statistic that we love so much only 25 percent or so. Of women can come, can come from penetration. Yeah. So if they start rubbing themselves, let them, let them, if you can,

Kari 31:41

or if you want to enjoy the show. Yeah.

Casey 31:43

Like, come on, you're sitting there like watching women masturbate, it's already arousing. Yeah. So you're getting to do it while you're penetrating someone. Come on. Why? Why would that be something that you are against?

Kari 31:54

It's going to make her wetter. It's going to make her the arousal. Yeah. Like. I don't know. I don't even understand that anymore. I'm so removed from it that I don't understand it anymore. And, and it probably wasn't until you said that, that I was like, Oh yeah, that used to be me, but that's not me

Casey 32:09

now. What's cool is that there's so many positions that you can engage in like self masturbation with. So if we go back and we look at if you are in a missionary position, especially If say that I'm on top of you and I push your legs back. So now my hands are on your hamstrings or the backside of your thighs and pushing your legs backwards that allows you to open up, to be able to touch yourself. If we're in doggy and you put one leg up, so. You're, if you're kind of envisioning that right now, if we're like standing or even kneeling doggy and you move a hand outta the way, or a leg outta the way, you can use your hand to reach

Kari 32:43

back. I mean, you really don't even have to move your leg. You can still reach. Well, I

Casey 32:47

appreciate I don't have a B as

Kari 32:50

a as a female perspective. You don't have to move your leg.

Casey 32:52

You can just, the point I'm fucking trying to make is that there are plenty of positions in which you, yeah. You can open yourself up to be touched. And especially this is a great time to communicate that to your partner. If you are someone that's like, no, I need collateral stimulation in order to achieve orgasm. Talk to your partner about that

Kari 33:09

early on. And ladies, if there's any position there and there are plenty, but I'm just saying if you're in a position that you can grab his balls while he's fucking, you grab his fucking balls. Well, massage softly. Yeah. Little massage. I didn't say strong arm. I'm just saying like,

Casey 33:27

be careful if you have sharp nails that can be very tight. Rippy.

Kari 33:31

Listen, I have strong hands and I do have to be careful. I was a hairdresser. Yeah. I was a hairdresser.

Casey 33:37

I've been like, Hey, Kung Fu grip. Whoa.

Kari 33:40

Ease it up. Calm down there. Think about like Rippy. Bye bye. Reverse cowgirl, you're the balls are right there. You're in reverse cowgirl. You don't really see a lot other than their toes. You might as well.

Casey 33:53

I know we're doing that. I just want to like wiggle my toes. Just like

Kari 33:56

a little wiggle. Let you know

Casey 33:58

I'm still here. Like, hey, hey there.

Kari 34:03

Well, if I'm doing my job, I'll know that you're

Casey 34:04

still there. There it is. So. That brings up a good question as we, as we talk about fluidity in sexual positions is we've at one point received the question of where can you go from a cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position? Where can I go with that? Now there's two answers that I have here. My favorite one, if you have the strength to do it. It's a switch from cowgirl and reach a hand around her backside and flip over into a missionary position. This works best if you're on something, you know, soft, maybe not like a hard surface, you know, a flip into the floor and like smack their head on the ground.

Kari 34:44

Unless they're into that kind of thing and they just have to communicate it.

Casey 34:48

But to be able to kind of sit yourself up. So if you're in that laying down position, you kind of sit up and grip just above her waist in the low back and then flip yourself over. You should be able to get into that, do a good missionary position

Kari 34:59

from there. And a really big turn on is tell her to hold on to you. Yeah. Hold on to me. And then if

Casey 35:04

you look at her and say, Hey, grab on me real quick. Hold on to me. Yeah. And then here we go. We spin me. And then the other good transition, if it's in reverse cowgirl, reverse cowgirl is a really easy one to get into doggy style with. Yeah, it is to stay inside. And then y'all both kind of sit up and lean forward. It just the hardest part of that is that transition getting your legs from in front of you to behind you like that one can be fun. It's just, but it's working together. And the cool thing is that if you're having trouble doing it instead of getting all serious and being like, Oh, laugh about it. Yeah. Ha ha. This is fun. This is funny. Look what we're doing. Like, we're trying this out.

Kari 35:44

Yeah, I definitely agree with that. Like, as far as like transitioning, I mean, through like periods, I swear to God, transitioning through positions. Yeah, don't take yourself too serious. If you happen to fall out, who gives a fuck? Just get back in. But the whole point is, is like, don't make it

Casey 36:01

a game. Oh, if I fall out, then you got to go down on me. Yeah.

Kari 36:05

You know, you made me fall out. Now you have to suck my dick again. Oh no.

Casey 36:10

If you're into that, do it. If you feel like you don't want to taste yourself, then grab some sex wipes. Yeah. There's plenty of them out there. And we love those too. Like that's been a big one for us has been, Oh, look, we have these cool sex wipes. So if we, one of the things that we like to do is, and guys,

Kari 36:26

I'll be honest, it's me. It is literally me. I don't like tasting myself. And it's not that like, I don't. I don't, I don't think it's gross. I don't think it's gross at all. Like I, truthfully, I just get the worst cotton mouth of my fricking life.

Casey 36:41

Vaginal juices give me cotton

Kari 36:42

mouth. Dude, it does so bad. And I cannot be the only person that vaginal juices gives you cotton mouth. But like when I suck dick, I am pouring out of my mouth with saliva. And I immediately, I immediately, immediately vagina, like it's, it's, it's. Sand it's sand. And so, so the, the wipes honestly really, really do help. And I, I have heard some girls be like, oh, that's like, it takes away from the mood. It only takes away from the mood. If you let it.

Casey 37:19

That's when you have to work through that, that book, that's when you have to work through. Absolutely. It's, it's overcoming some mental obstacles in order to achieve that, that fun little thing, but you can turn it into a game again. It's about making it a fun experience. I think that too many people take sex way too seriously. It's like, I need to be serious and sexy. All the

Kari 37:41

fucking time. And if I'm not seductive and I can't be silly, like, no, like, no, show all of your personality.

Casey 37:47

That's going to ruin the mood. Motherfucker. Comedy is part of the mood. I mean,

Kari 37:51

you know what? In all honesty, it better fucking not. If you are with a partner that doesn't allow you to like laugh a little and, and, and like play and. Then that needs to be a whole separate conversation because that is them not being comfortable within them. Why do you

Casey 38:07

feel like you need to take sex so seriously? Why do you feel like in order to be Casanova, then you need to be like the serious make you come.

Kari 38:17

And I'll be honest. Most women don't really like that. I would much rather like laugh and have fun with sex than being serious.

Casey 38:24

I think playfulness and sex is one of my favorite, absolute favorite things. I want to laugh with you. I want to, I want to like be able to roll around and like kiss and penetrate and play and fondle and give a

Kari 38:36

whirl. We can always get you hard again. Even if you, you pause for a bit and like you're saying, we're playing and we're laughing, we're having a good time. You know what a dick can get hard again.

Casey 38:46

Well, it's a fun thing that you bring that up because we've talked in the past about people that aren't able to sustain erections for long periods of time. Like. If they're being stimulated, they'll get an erection. But as soon as they're not stimulated, then they start to lose that erection. Hell, that happens to me. If we drink, if we're out like drinking or something and we're having a good time and we come back and now we're having sex, that the ability to sustain like for a long period of time is going to go away. But oh, well, we adapt and we go, great. We'll just take periods of rest and we'll have more stimulation. Exactly. So adapting to that, having fluidity in your breaks is a great thing. Where do they need to go? Where can you, where can you maximize that? The

Kari 39:26

beauty of it is there is no right or wrong answer. It's just what feels comfortable with your partner. But it's important to understand the importance of those.

Casey 39:33

This is why so many often times. Sex with a person you've gotten to know is way better than sex with a stranger. Yeah. I get the appeal. Sex with a stranger. It's this whole one night fling. There's no commitments, no strings attached, all that's all well and good. And that could be fun, but it's

Kari 39:50

probably not going to be

Casey 39:52

The real pleasure comes with people that you get to know. That's not saying that you have to have a fucking marriage and commitment to it, but learning

Kari 39:59

someone's body. I mean, that's also, there's a lot of fun

Casey 40:02

in that. It's also why we honestly promote Friends with Benefits. Yeah. If you want to have that. You know, we've had it in the past where people have been like, Oh my God, Friends with Benefits, you slut. And we're like, cool. Yep. You

Kari 40:13

ignorant slut. I don't know what that's from now at this point. Why do ignorant sluts?

Casey 40:27

But it's okay. Be a slut. Yeah.

Kari 40:29

Have fun. Yeah. Say that again. It is okay. It's okay to be a slut.

Casey 40:33

Are you comfortable with it? Do you enjoy having, having sex with partners? Great. Just be safe about it. Be smart about it. Don't go out and be like, see that bartender right there? I'm going to fuck him tonight. And then it's like, try and like aggressively find your way and trying to fuck that bartender tonight. I, it's one of the things I've, I've had such a struggle with because you see the duality that we experienced where people are like, you're cool with a one night stand, but you're against friends with benefits. But if you know this person and you know that they are protecting themselves and they're doing things ethically and they're consensual and they're good people, why the fuck are you less attracted to that than the person that's treating you like an asshole that is all about just taking you home. That is all about like, Oh no, it's getting tested. Don't know what that's like.

Kari 41:21

I hear you. And I'm enjoying this rant quite a bit.

Casey 41:25

I've got so many rants. I can

Kari 41:27

go on. It's a side rant and I'm admiring it.

Casey 41:30

It's all part of it, right? Sex

Kari 41:32

positions. We started with sex

Casey 41:35

positions. We're still on sex positions. No, we're fine. And we're on fluidity, elasticity, flexibility.

Kari 41:44

How many other itties are you going to find?

Casey 41:48

I'm a fucking dictionary. Yeah, I was about to say,

Kari 41:50

give him a second, guys. Give him a second. But also, if you're unfamiliar with sex positions, I, you know, hate to sound like a broken record, but go to porn. Look them up with your partner. What sex positions can we do? If y'all are not into porn, go to fucking Pinterest, I swear to God. You can go there and find, all you have to type in is, sexual daily position. And, and you're going to get a lot of different stuff. Like, we're not meant just like figure, we're not all creative, just figuring this shit out. Like, see something else, mimic it and explore it and figure out how you and your partner's body can

Casey 42:27

mimic that. Yes. One of my favorite ones. And we've used them multiple times and we always try to give them credit. We have no. Partnership with them or know anything with them, but it's bad girls Bible. Oh, that's a lot of our artwork that we use in terms of sex positions because they're really well done, but they also have a good description of what you're supposed to do. But you just said something right there that sparked my interest because it is about half of it, at least is about figuring out what works for you and then adapting things that don't, because you're going to have sex positions that you're like, how the fuck are we supposed to get into that? And the truth is, maybe you're not,

Kari 43:03

maybe you're Not all positions are meant for every partners.

Casey 43:06

But what you can do is you can figure out a way for it to work. On some level, some way, shape or form, you can figure out a way for you guys to be comfortable and get into it and have a good time because that's what it's ultimately about. It's about your pleasure. It's about your fun. So do that with your part and enjoy it. I mean, what the

Kari 43:22

hell else are you going to do with them? I'm just kidding.

Casey 43:29

Anyway, so we've been having fun talking about sex positions, but I think that we're, I think we're about ready to say wrap it up. We'll see you next week. We're going to go enjoy some nightshade Berlin. We're going to go watch some titty

Kari 43:42

But again I cannot wait. I cannot fucking wait. Yes. Again, if you're listening to this earlier on and you have nothing to do tonight, now you do go to Cicada. Fuck

Casey 43:50

that. If you have plans tonight, cancel, cancel

Kari 43:52

the plans and get tickets to go out and buy me a drink. That's where we're going to be tonight. It's going to be a really good time. Also, again, if you have questions, please email us at come with Casey. See you. W H I W I T. I'm turning

Casey 44:07

that to a soundbite. I fucking hate you. W H I T a

Kari 44:12

Thank you. W I T H kc.com

Casey 44:19

gmail. No, I'm

Kari 44:21

just kidding. No, they have to

Casey 44:30

guess which just guess what's the one

Kari 44:35

that's not around anymore. Hotmail.

Casey 44:36

AOL. I don't fucking know. I don't know

Kari 44:38

either. On another episode, on another episode of come with Casey, I am your cohost,

Casey 44:44

Gary, and I'm just Casey. I'm dr. Casey Sanders. We'll see you next time. Bye.