Cum With KC
Talk Dirty To Me
Let's dive into dirty talk. WHY to do it, HOW to do it, and some tips from us on how to improve upon it.
Mentions in this episode
Nightshade Burlesque
Let's dive into dirty talk. WHY to do it, HOW to do it, and some tips from us on how to improve upon it.
Mentions in this episode
Nightshade Burlesque
So if you've been following along and you've heard us talking about kinktober, we made a post. Shit was a few days ago, like last week at some point, and it was the whole gist of it was to suggest that. You take a step back from the main character role and be a supporting actor role for your partner and exploring kinks,
Kari\:which is unique for me because I feel like not necessarily sexual, but just like in who I am, I always take on this, like. Dominating role. And so when you went to me, like I said, like I portrayed this like very like dominant personality,
casey:you do for like everyone in your life that doesn't know you on the inside of things you do take on like that more. Parental role, that more authoritarian role that I don't mean to. Yeah. Oh, I, I, I understand. Yeah. It's definitely not. A lot of the times it's not like on purpose. You're just, you know, that's how you, that's how you
Kari\:are. But you bring that up, like separating yourself out from your main character and becoming like secondary supportive role. Yeah. And. Which really just kind of like leads into what you're about to bring up. Yeah.
casey:Well, I want to tell a story. I know. So for those that have been following along for a while, you know, that I have developed this massive love, this passion for Shabari work, rope tying, right? Japanese bondage. We had
Kari\:Jake. So
casey:let's clarify, we were super interested in doing it, but once we started exploring how to do it, it became more, more of a, of a reality. And then once we had Jake on, it was more, I had somebody to talk to about it. So whether Jake realized it or not. I kind of take him on as like the secret mentor. He's like my secret mentor. I don't even think he knows it. So I'll message him about stuff. Be like, Oh man, I was trying this. Here's some issues that I'm having. What can I do here? And he's always really good about getting back to me and giving me like tips and tricks and things that from his personal experiences.
Kari\:So something that I knew maybe before you did is that when you were going to get into this Jabari stuff. Like it has to go on somebody,
casey:you know, I'm not going to spend hyper legs every day. I'm not spending my days doing self ties and using a pool noodle on a chair. Yeah. So
Kari\:I knew what this had like meant to you and what this would mean to me as being your partner to then like give you full trust and
casey:freedom. Yeah. Especially you taking that, that submissive role.
Kari\:Which
casey:is something you enjoy in the bedroom. I fucking
Kari\:love it, but this isn't an act that is exclusive to the bedroom. No, it's not. So for me to like take aside that time, that mental block that like, Okay, I'm just giving myself to you to allow you to do something that you are vastly interested in. Yeah, as the person as the rope bunny, which I will call myself. You are. It was for me too, though, and I didn't realize that until we got into
casey:it, it was, it was the whole point of this being that it was a chance for you to hold space for me to explore a kink that I was very interested in exploring,
Kari\:which I think is. It's so important to allow yourself to be open to kinks that your partner would like to try. And
casey:then it's something we don't talk about a ton of, or that people don't talk about a ton of people whenever they talk about sex and everything else, they're very interested in, in their. Own interests or they're very interested in things they can do with their partner. But it's not that often we talk about what you can do for what you can do for. Yeah. Ask not what you can do,
Kari\:but in all honesty, because you are getting to fill up a fantasy of yours. By me standing there and giving you and trusting you with my body to do whatever technically it is that you want to do with it.
casey:And it took us a minute. It takes a lot of trust, but it took us a minute to find the groove, both of us, because I, I was taking it so seriously in the beginning that like the second you would start to be playful with me, I was like,
Kari\:Stop licking
casey:my arm! I'm trying to do this, please let me do this! This is serious, Kerry! Quit
Kari\:fucking with me! And I'm just like, and I'm just over here, like, my arms, like, I don't even know how to, like, describe the emotion, you know? But I'm just like...
casey:But we, we hit our stride pretty quickly after, after a little bit of doing it. And now it's become something that like Sunday mornings for us. That's
Kari\:honestly been one of my favorite things is because Sunday mornings. And I feel like this is actually universal. It could be that Sunday mornings are a chance for you and your partner to just be together, truly. There's a less likely to have a bunch of stuff going on, especially right in the morning. And so this is an opportunity for us to always spend together and we do.
casey:Yeah. And we've been, we've been working hard. We we've created some pretty cool stuff.
Kari\:I mean, honestly, it's been a highlight of my week to just stand there and do nothing. Yeah. Someone for me, that's so busy and like a movie on. Yeah. We'll put something on, like we haven't seen in a long time or some like. Scary movie just because, and then I just get literally just get to stand there and do absolutely nothing
casey:while I work on my ties and my knots and various things and put you into
Kari\:like, and I don't even think that I've actually said this to you, but like feeling your focus. Feeling the ropes on me feeling this, like, pull this, like, cause sometimes you're watching a video as you're actively, yeah, if it's,
casey:if it's one of the newer ones, like a pretty complex harness, or if I'm going, all right, so we're going to use this for suspension. I want to make sure I'm getting this correct and I'm not fucking up at all
Kari\:for like the floor easy to suspend. Like I'm a little bitch about it. I'm fucking heavy. I'm heavy. And there have been times where you have like, everything's on there and you grab that rope and you're ready to pull. And this pull means that my body is about to be like lifted, you know? And you're like, I'm like, God dammit, Carrie, did you need that burger last night or should you had a salad,
casey:but it's, it's, it's so much fun to do. It's been a really cool place to be able to develop the skillset involved with this and having the trust from you is amazing to me and being able to. Have you again, take a step out of the main character role and become a supporting role while I explore this art form, which has been so fucking awesome to do it so much fun to do has been great. And we've even talked about turning it into a performance eventually, and we have, we have this like massive goal going to be. We have this massive goal of doing a performance for our good friends. Don't give away the secret. For our good friends. No. Well, we're not going to talk about the performance. If you want to hear about our performance idea, go back and listen to our episode with these guys. Oh my God. You're right. You're
Kari\:right. That is a dead
casey:giveaway. You can go back and listen to our episode with Nightshade Burlesque. If you remember, we interviewed, we interviewed Lavender and Vivian a while back and talked about everything about what we'd want
Kari\:to do. And we have been at every single one of their shows. It's part of what we want to talk about. Right.
casey:Right. We have been to four of their six performances total. And every single time we're like VIP table, we're trying to make sure
Kari\:everything goes time. We bring new people. I mean, we're, it's, it's just about like getting this out there to the public because we, as foot worthy ends don't get fucking burlesque shows. Like that's so rare. They exist, but they're not on. Monthly basis, it might be, Oh, we're coming in town and hit up this venue. This is a place that does it every single month that does not exist. And that has not existed in a very long time.
casey:So if we've already piqued your interest and you haven't been yet the first Friday of every single month at the Cicada in Fort worth. Nightshade burlesque hosts, a gothic burlesque show. You have to be there. Fucking awesome. Remember last time though, what they had is like, lavender got up on stage and was, was Lydia from Beetlejuice. And even she made a fucking worm puppet.
Kari\:She's so fucking,
casey:it was amazing. Such a good performance. So if you want to join us. Come on. Yeah, we're, we're ready for you. The next one that they're having is November, November 3rd. Third. Doors open at, I think, like 7:00 PM or so. You can go in anytime, but the show starts at nine and it's a two hour show.
Kari\:But what makes this show a teensy bit more special? What is it? It's
casey:your birthday. This, oh, this upcoming one. It's your birthday. Oh. I thought you were gonna tell something about the No,
Kari\:it's your
casey:fucking birthday. Here's what's so amazing about nightshade. So, so not
Kari\:It's my birthday only. Yes, nightshade. Love y'all to pieces. This next show is Casey's fucking birthday. It really is. And this is his and it, it is falling on his birthday week and we are going all out. So if you don't be lucky enough to be the two people that we invite to our table, get fucking tickets and come hang out with us, it's gonna be an absolute amazing show. And I can g fucking tea that Casey's gonna be on. No, you can't.
casey:Yes, I can. Anyway. What we can do though is say that last show sold out. It did it sold out, which means get your tickets now, check out, go on Instagram, look up nightshade burlesque, hit that link, make sure you pick up tickets as soon as fucking possible because it will sell out. And
Kari\:if they do say, where did you hear about the show? Please just write, you know, come with Casey CW, Casey, just let them know that we are the ones that instructed you to buy those goddamn tickets. Maybe we
casey:can get like a discount code in the future. Something. Something. But we can work something out.
Kari\:But we hope to see you there. And then of course, don't forget.
casey:Absolutely. You see, come say hi. That's a big thing because that's what we want.
Kari\:Come say hi. Sit on Casey's lap and buy him a drink. Yeah, you're a
casey:girl, but it has been fun to talk about kinktober. It's been a ton of fun. We've been enjoying it all through, but today what we're going to talk about is probably one of the cheapest kinks that there actually is.
Kari\:It is the most free
casey:it's at the price of free. It is at the price of free. And there's plenty of those. I mean, you can go and lick someone's foot for no charge unless they're. And do that kind of thing. And they want to charge you. There's plenty of stuff you can make money off of. What was that? Feet Finder or Feet Finder, OnlyFans, or any of that stuff.
Kari\:Twitter now. Fucking Twitter. You can just see anything for
casey:free. Twitter is like bullions. Or is it X?
Kari\:It's X. So stupid. Anyways, beside the point. What
casey:we're going to talk about today is something that you can do with your partner, with your partners, with your SOs or your OPs or your POs or SPs or any of those, any of it. Let's talk about dirty talk. This is a, like, I love this topic because we've, we've over the years, over the many, many years we've been together, our, our ability to talk dirty to each other
Kari\:has become, it has grown substantially. You dirty boy.
casey:That's not one. We're ever in the bedroom and you're like you dirty boy. I'm a dirty boy. I'm probably gonna break character real quick
Kari\:But others just got a little semi from a little bit.
casey:It's just like whenever you someone says good girl Don't so let's start off with that. Like today we're gonna talk about dirty talk The first thing we want to discuss though is like why the fuck do people dirty talk in the first place? Yeah What is so arousing? Because
Kari\:it takes you outside of the yeah, I like it. Like dirty talk allows you to just step outside of what feels comfortable. We all know that, Oh, Oh, that feels good. That feels great. Yep. Right there. We all say that we all do that, but can
casey:we, if we're ever in the bedroom and you sound like a Midwestern mom, Oh, right there. Yeah.
Kari\:Yes, that feels real good. Mommy's so proud of you, dear.
casey:Did you move a little bit left right away?
Kari\:No, please right away. No, but, but it even fucking that just now was funny. It elevated the situation and we were just playing around. Yeah. Imagine if you're actually like in the moment, shit is fucking hot. And you are ready to elevate the conversation in
casey:a lot. I mean, really at the, at the base of it, it allows you to reach a new level of eroticism in your relationship. Exactly. And there's people that are experts at this kind of stuff. And there's also people that are newer to it that are really shy about it. Yeah. What we want to do today is, is talk a little bit more about how you can implement dirty talk into the bedroom. So another thing that actually the dirty talk does is allows you to learn more about your partner. It allows you to discover some of their kinks. That they may have not been either thinking to tell you, or they may have just, it hadn't even occurred to them. Well, right.
Kari\:Because people may use the word, say early on stages, we're just having this conversation. I come to you and I say, daddy, I like that word. Yeah. Like you just said. That could then open this massive kink to the daddy, not just the daddy word, but even into the daddy, like
casey:lifestyle being more dominant in your bedroom and learning
Kari\:things like that. Had we had you and your partner never even said that word once, maybe you didn't get the opportunity to explore what that word could have meant for y'all. And so that's why I love it. It allows you to learn your partner, learn what they like, what they want to hear in the bedroom, but also what they don't.
casey:It's a good communication exercise. So that, that's one of the things that I love so much is because it's, it's an exercise in communication. We, we hear this from all over the fucking world of people being relationship coaches and gurus and all that kind of shit. Of where they're talking about proper communication, what that looks like. Dirty talk. Hey, what do you like to be called in the bedroom? What phrases do you enjoy hearing? What arouses you even simple phrases and words can give you a whole new layer of a person
Kari\:experience in the moment. Like if you were to come to me and be like, yeah, babe, does that feel good? Yes. But if you were coming to me and say, yeah, you fucking slut. Do you like that? Like it hits differently. It does, like my ears just perk the fuck up cause I'm like, what did he just
casey:say to me? Yeah. No, not everybody can say it. No.
Kari\:And I think that's actually what's great
casey:is trust aspect of it. How safe do you feel with your partner? Do you feel safe and connected enough with them that whenever they use language like that, you dirty slut or come be my. Little whore or those kinds of things. Is that something that arouses you? Or is that something that turns you off completely? It's going to vary partner to partner.
Kari\:Oh, a hundred percent. But that's also why we say. Sit down and create a list. Yes. Create a list of not only your like, fuck, yeah, I want to hear that. And I cannot wait to hear you utter those words to don't you ever fucking say that to me? Don't you call me a dirty
casey:fucking say that to me. It's like the word cunt. I you know, you know, we both love the word we do when it's an empowering word. It can be used for such a good thing, but there's going to be some people out there that are like, I don't ever want to say that to me. So
Kari\:sidebar we'll not, not, no, not necessarily. We'll continue with this, but yes, you do need to have. Yes. And then I absolutely, I know you've
casey:heard it. They've heard us talk about this for yes. No, maybe list. Yes. You've heard us talk about it.
Kari\:Yes. No, maybe what I want to say real quick is because you said the word cunt. And for me, Casey, 10 years ago, when I listened to that word, no, don't you ever fucking say that word to me? Same as bitch. You would say bitch. Don't you ever. Say that those two words to me, but now I don't feel that way. And I understand that we have grown as a couple, but the point that I'm making within this is just because 10 years ago you heard a word and that was a no for you and then all of a sudden you explored yourself and your partner and the comfortability in your relationship, those no's can go to a maybe. And then can go to a yes. So just because you sit down and you have this conversation, you write that out, understand that those things are subject to change and stay open minded to the growth that you will have when you start to hear these words,
casey:desires, wants, feelings. It's an ever changing landscape that never ceases. It's not something that's like, I'm setting my ways and this is all over want your wants for desires. All of it changes. And that does include whenever talking dirty with a partner. One day you might sit back and be like, listen, if you ever call me a bitch, you ever call me a cunt, ever call me a slut or a whore, we're going to have some major problems. But as your relationship grows, as you become more connected, as you become more comfortable with that person, right? And then it's like, listen, all I want to do is I want you to call. I want you to talk to me. You
Kari\:tell me as I'm your dirty bitch.
casey:But you might say something like, I want you to lay me down. I want you to push into me. I want you to say like how much you love feeling my wet cunt. Like that could be a huge turnout. The point is that you
Kari\:have the authority to alter the way that those words mean to you, but that only comes with comfort with the person that you're with. So sit down, write out a list. You can do it together. You can do it separate. It really doesn't matter. You should do both. Yeah. And then discuss it. Allow it to be a conversation.
casey:And you can sit down and you can even play like I say a word, you say a word, I say a phrase, you say a phrase and let me know how you feel about this phrase because keep in mind this also whenever you're doing this, it's not just about the phrases that your partner wants to hear or say the phrases that you want to hear or say. Yeah. So you might have a phrase that I'm uncomfortable with, but you want to hear it. And I have to think to myself, like, is this something that I would, is an absolute no from me. I would never say that to you or the something that I go, Hey, listen, you've now told me that this is arousing for you and that you would like me to say it for your pleasure. Yes, exactly. Then I can become a little bit more comfortable because, I mean, For, for like personal story from us, whenever we were earlier on in our relationship, there were aspects of, of BDSM that I was like, no, I don't think that I, I would be okay with that until it became, no, I want you to do this for my pleasure. I'm like, oh, well now we've achieved consent. I figured out about myself. It's not about the act itself. It was about is consent involved. If I feel this is non consensual, I'm fucking out. I'm like done with it. It's not going to happen, but if it is notified, a conversation takes place, it is consensual and it is for a mutual benefit of our pleasure. Fuck. Yeah. Let's do it. Yeah.
Kari\:Then just go for it. Dive, right? Let loose and just fucking go. Go for it. I think the other aspect of it though, sometimes is people just don't know what to
casey:say. They have trouble in the bedroom. Like, we've seen movies and TV shows where people try to talk dirty. Get on this dick. Yeah, exactly. You went right for it. I was thinking Paul Rudd in Wanderlust. You gon get on this dick. You gon pick it. You gon pick that dick. I'm going to fuck you, I'm going to fuck
Kari\:you, I'm going to stick my dick in. So this will be something that I will, I will honestly say I fucking struggle with. And this topic to us was presented and through our lives and whatever that we do. But I had said, I was like, why don't we go into dirty talk? Because it was like two days ago we were in bed and you were fucking me. And I was like, I really need to brush up on what I want to say because. Whenever we are in the bedroom and we've done something sexual, and actually we just recently had this like experience where we're doing some really hot shit in the bedroom. I really wanted to like elevate what I was saying to you and I wanted it to be like. Fucking sexy and hot. And it just, and it wasn't because I had not practiced my own set of like dirty words,
casey:like a little black
Kari\:book of life, but I think like it's the, the act of like refreshing yourself on it. It's like muscle memory in a way, you know, practice it and practice. Yeah. And if you don't practice enough, you're going to fucking sound silly. You're going to sound real silly whenever you're trying to go through and like, sound hot and sexy and kinky. But if you haven't like practice the dirty talk, yeah, it doesn't
casey:hit the same. So how would you say someone should practice dirty talk?
Kari\:Am I allowed to say this yet? Are we in that area?
casey:That's where we're headed.
Kari\:How should you practice? Are we, are we on point? So we had talked about this early at lunch today and, and my way of practicing it. To me personally is the same way that you would do like those daily affirmations in the morning. Like you've got this girl, you're strong, you're powerful, you're the little
casey:comes let there is
Kari\:you take a dick better than any bitch. You know what I mean? Like. Just the same way hearing it. Get used to saying it. Yeah. The same way that we are told to have these daily affirmations and, and have these positive speaking, why can we not do that exact same thing, but what we want to say in the bedroom, it takes practice. It really does. You
casey:know, this is a. This is an ongoing message we have to every one of our listeners where take the same rules that you apply to your business, that you apply to your life and personal growth and apply them to your sex
Kari\:life. Honestly. Yeah. If you have fucking note cards around that says like this many calories today, maybe also have one that says suck dick today.
casey:Your goal is 37 dicks,
Kari\:maybe not in a day, but you know, but I, but I thank you to those who got the reference, but I love what you're saying. And, and that honestly, to me is no different. Like if you're going to have positive affirmations for yourself throughout the day to like. Get yourself moving and get yourself focused. Why can we not do the same thing but for our sexuality? You can, you absolutely can. And that's what we're encouraging. It's just not as normal to think that. Like, I don't have no cards next to my bed that say like, You take that dick, girl. You're so good at it. You suck that dick so well. No, I have cards that say like, Work hard, play
casey:hard. Could you imagine? Someone in the corner of the room holding cue cards. And my cue cards would be so inappropriate. It's like an SNL skit or something. And they just have their cue cards out there. It's like you're reading it in a monotone too. Yes. Take that, dick. You dirty girl. You dirty, dirty girl. You're my... Good little slut,
the
Kari\:best little, but I do think that like, after you sit down with your partner, so right, y'all have already sat down, he wrote out the things that he wants to hear and he wrote out the things he doesn't want to hear and wants to say
casey:and doesn't want to
Kari\:say, but there's nothing wrong with like, okay carry. Casey likes these words. A, B, C, D, down to Z, whatever. He does not like these words. Okay, let me make that mental note. Maybe I
casey:have this, maybe I have something where I don't wanna be degraded in the bedroom. Mm-hmm. And so I come to you and say, yeah, no degradation for you. Right? And so I come to you and say, Hey, we can say a lot just. Avoid degrading me in the bedroom. Yeah. That's, that's not arousing for me. In fact, it's pretty much the opposite of arousing for me. So, no degradation in the
Kari\:bedroom. So, can I ask you something? Yeah, always. So, how would you have one compromise? If me as your partner wanted to do like degradation, like that was a kink for me, but you as an individual, you, that was the opposite for you. Like degradation was an absolute no. How would you suggest to like navigate those two?
casey:My most simple fix is role play. If I create a character and then I put the submissive qualities into that character that enjoys degradation, and then I embody that character, it now allows me to displace myself. So it's, it would to me feel like you're not degrading me, you're degrading the character that I've created.
Kari\:And so now I that you wanted that I
casey:created. So now we can enter into a role playing scenario in which I would be okay with the use of this, the certain phrasing in the words, because in my head, it's not me for your pleasure. Yeah. And that's the second point I was going to get to is that outside of doing role playing, I can also have you tell me. I want to do this for my pleasure. I don't want to do this because I want to insult you. I'm doing this because being in that dominant role and being degrading towards someone else is in the back of my head a kink that I have that I want to explore. So would you be my supporting role? And for my own pleasure, do this, allow me to do this. So I think those two things combined can create a pretty safe space in which you could explore that
Kari\:scene. Yeah. I mean, on the flip side of this to kind of talk about something that we discussed at lunch is, you know, I actually have a little kink. Yeah. Now I don't want to like call it the DLG. I don't want to like go as far as like pacifier and diaper. No, but it would be a kink for me or a turn on for me to like get to be so submissive that I'm almost in like little category, even though knowing that that's not something that turns you on, but you could then. Be this character role play this character that was telling me what to do or was praising me for doing a good job over something very, very small, you know, and, and I think that's something that we really have to think about, like, just because our partner comes to us with a kink. It doesn't mean we have to dive into the deep end of this kink. You're not, you don't have to go to surface level. Yeah. You can go surface level into a kink and not dive old so far. That would put you past your comfort zone. And that's the biggest thing that we also need everyone to understand is you're not pushing yourself out of your comfort. You're compromising your comfort. You're negotiating what that comfort could look like with your
casey:partner. A super big point that we want to make today is the power of negotiation. Yeah. Right. It is part in part about sitting down with your partner or partners or whoever you're going to be with to express what you're looking for. Your desires. It goes back to our the, the, the acronym we love to use so much. Yes. Our BDS MPA. It's a, it's an expansive acronym. We, we get that, but part of that are your desires. What is it that I desire? To do. And in this sense of dirty talk, it's, what are the things that I desire to hear? What are the things that I desire to say? Words, phrases, all things that can be so arousing to me, they're going to elevate the erotic nature of our interaction. Yeah. So now we're achieving pleasure like we didn't know we could. That's, that's, that's
Kari\:arousing. I mean, that's honestly what the entire fucking episode is about. Is that fucking sentence that you just said, that's what this is about. And, and if you allow yourself to explore and open up and, and do your fucking research, do the math, figure out what is it that I want to say? Does A, B, C, D, and E connect to what it is that we want in the bedroom? This, these all are a part of like sitting down and writing your, your yes and no's. And then. Negotiating those then with your partner. But at the end of it, understand that y'all both want the same thing. Great fucking sex. Yeah. Good, great, entertaining, not mundane, out of the ordinary sex. You want what you deserve. Pleasure. Yes. And, and yeah, pleasure the way that is scripted for you and then pleasure in a way that is scripted for your partner. And if y'all two can find a way to be on the same fucking page, I think that you would surprise. Both of you. Both of y'all selves.
casey:I think that's one of the most fun things about relationships.
Kari\:Because all of a sudden you're like, Whoa, wait a minute. You want that too? I never knew that you wanted that. Did
casey:we just become best friends? Yep. Exactly. You start finding out these things about your partner whenever you open up and you allow yourself to become vulnerable. Your kinks and let's face it. Sexuality is one of the most close to chest things that people have. And it's mostly for where we're the area we're located in geographically speaking, and the culture that we've grown up in is that it is more of that shameful sheltered sex is for these purposes, not for this, not for that purpose. And so opening up can be a little bit difficult, but once you do, and you do it with someone that. But you're
Kari\:connected to it. And like, why not though? Honestly, it's, if you are in a marriage and it is you and your partner, what the fuck else y'all have to do
casey:in a relationship, if you're in a party, if you're achieving the sexual goals that you want to achieve, I don't give a shit if it's a casual sexual relationship, if it's a one night stand, if you're meeting your comfort level and you're meeting their comfort level and it's consensual fucking explore. Go Go for it. Open up as wide as you want to do. Crack that fucking vault open and share, be vulnerable about it and have fun. I love that. Exactly.
Kari\:I love the, actually the, the ending point and what you put is just don't take it too serious. Don't overdo it. Don't think that don't get in your head. Allow Oh, Yourself to kind of like fuck up a little bit with it and allow yourself to just have fun.
casey:So really just like, just don't take it too seriously. Don't take yourself too seriously.
Kari\:Yeah. And, and don't overthink it. Like just have fun, say the words that you want to say, go over your list beforehand. There's absolutely nothing wrong. It's like when, before you take a test, you go over your notes, go over your notes. They're got the words that you want to say and don't overthink it and just have fun guys. Just have fun. I promise. You know, one
casey:of our biggest principles and all of this is not taking things too seriously. Yeah. Come on. Laugh about it.
Kari\:If your partner's judging you over the words that you
casey:chose, if you say a phrase to your partner and it causes them to laugh, don't take a, try not to take offense to that and just realize that it's, it's okay. We're having fun. You don't have to be like, Oh my God. What? And get upset about
Kari\:playful. So play.
casey:So the last thing that we actually want to talk about before we head out today is the biggest, not the biggest, but a big, big realization that everybody should have is that dirty talks, not just for the bedroom. It's not, there are many, many places that you can use dirty talk building arousal throughout the
Kari\:day. Yeah. I was about to say that's one thing that we do a lot. We do is texting each other. Yeah. We're constantly like texting daddy. I want you to go down on me tonight. I want to fucking squirt on your face and whatever. Right. Wait
casey:a minute. I want that one. Wait, what? Do I not say that enough to you? Not enough.
Kari\:Okay, daddy, I want you to
casey:And we're on board. But dirty talk can be a great way to be playfully arousing each other throughout the day, the week, the month, the year, whatever you're going to do. You can use a lot of dirty talk, a lot of these phrases, especially if you have copies of your yes, no, maybe list of each other's. And you're like, Ooh, my partner really wants to hear this phrase. And Put that shit in a text
Kari\:message. And, and honestly, if it does make you too uncomfortable to physically say it, text it like they're going to get the same arousal feeling if they're reading this text throughout the day or if they're hearing it at night, like you're going to get. I'm
casey:a slight disagree with that. There is something a little more arousing about hearing it from the voice. Of the person. You could always send a voice memo,
Kari\:but if you have never heard someone talk dirty to you ever in your relationship and all of a sudden they start to, maybe they do need that text first to feel comfortable. Yeah,
casey:sure. If that's, if that's the scenario, then yeah. Maybe that's what it is. But if it's a long established relationship and I know that we like talking dirty to each other for me personally you typing it out is, it's great. Trust me, especially cause the, like the surprise during the day, if we have nothing, like we're both working, we're both busy and I get this like erotic text message that's. Something
Kari\:very descriptive of what I want you to do to me tonight or whatever. Of course, that's
casey:arousing. There's like levels. That's like priority, like top priorities in person hearing it from, from the, from your mouth,
Kari\:hearing it just in general,
casey:but there are some really, really good things about being able to text each other. And this is also good for one of our, one of the things we talked about is like being in that, that either you're. Partner is out of town or you're in a long distance relationship.
Kari\:It was. And that's kind of why we're bringing this up is they were saying like, what do I do with my partner when he is out of town or he's traveling for work and he may be gone for six weeks at a time. And I think that was your first thing was a dirty talk that
casey:like a dirty talk throughout the times This is this nice modern technology that allows us to do things like FaceTime and allows us to do things like be on these video chats and even we have sex toys that can connect through that are long distance. If you didn't know about this, hey, welcome to the fun stuff because you have various companies that have these nice. Internet capable sex toys that allow you to each have one and they interact through over any distance so you can be in control of your partner's pleasure or you can assist them in their own pleasure by using these toys. And on top of that, you add in like the video chat aspect where you can talk dirty to each other. Come on and they even
Kari\:just like texting or like you're saying like the voice memos and stuff throughout the day like dirty talk does not have to be exclusive to the bedroom and just really allows you to open up and explore things together like explore a kink even if both of you are insecure. About a kink that y'all have, like, we're not ready to physically do this kink, but we're going to dirty talk ourselves into
casey:this. You know, it's a lot of fun dirty talk at inappropriate times.
Kari\:I like at church. Love it.
casey:We don't go to
Kari\:church. But I would love it if I was like sitting in church and all of a sudden I got a text from you that I was just like, Okay. But I guess I meant that to like, take yourself out from the way that you're supposed to feel in that moment. Right? Like you're sitting down, unexpected, surprise, unexpected, didn't know that was going to happen. And then I got this really sexy message. Those things are fucking beautiful in a relationship. It's one of my favorite things that you do with me is just all of a sudden sent me this random message and it's just this dirty talk, the stuff that you want to do. And
casey:you also like the fact though, that I like to create narratives as a writer, I like to create these scenarios and go into great detail. Very, very heavy description
Kari\:of ours is not dirty talk. It's dirty novel.
casey:I'm pretty, I'm pretty much good. I am your source of just like spicy literature.
Kari\:I don't even need books. I just I just tell Casey, send me something that you want to do to me and I'll have a five paragraph. Okay. Things sent to me very quickly,
casey:create me a story around this. Gotcha. Gotcha. I'll write you a short story. I got you. It'll be in your inbox. Check
Kari\:it out. Now. Not everyone can be as lucky as I am. And I get that, but if you find yourself not knowing how to like portray a character and maybe it's harder for you to fulfill that, like physical fantasy to start, just try as like the dirty talk of that fantasy. Yeah. It really helps. It
casey:helps out a lot. That's dirty talk. That's like dirty talk. One on one for you. Do it. If you have questions as always, we are accepting them. Reach out to this. Come with Casey at gmail. com for now. Drop us a line. DMS come with Casey underscore official. Send them to us. We're happy for you to remain anonymous if that's the case. But we are also more than happy to answer your questions. You want to hop on a phone call with us. You want to talk about coaching with us, everything else. That's what we're here
Kari\:for. Thank you. And again, really, really, really fast, dirty talk, read a book, watch a porn, research it, and get comfortable behind the mirror saying it. If you have daily affirmations, you should have daily sex shit that you want to say. It is no different. Utilize your time. I like the
casey:title, daily
Kari\:sex shit. Daily sex shit to make it to better for you.
casey:Well, I didn't know what that was. What was
Kari\:the accent there? I was making up my own. I do not discriminate amongst accents. I just bring them all together and turn it into my
casey:own. You didn't want to pinpoint where that was from? I have
Kari\:no idea where that was from. I have no idea. Anyways, on another lovely episode, stop it, on another lovely episode of Come With Casey, I am your co host, Keri Sanders,
casey:and I'm Dr. Casey Sanders.