Knotty Bi Nature

The Top or Bottom Game

Kari Sanders Season 3 Episode 17

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0:00 | 47:25

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Happy 2024! We're getting right into things with a fresh update on all things CWKC, including some really exciting announcements.

Mentioned in this episode

Nightshade Burlesque 
Sexpositive.memes

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Kari

all right. Well, God damn it is 2024.

Casey

We're going to the new year yelling. Apparently

Kari

it is 2024. This is our first episode of the year. When

Casey

did we start? I don't know, a couple

Kari

months. No, fuck off. When did we start? Like, I know it's been a year at this point. It's been over.

Casey

Our first episode was August of 2021.

Kari

Oh, that seems so fucking long ago. I am really proud of us, actually. You should be. That's a lot of episodes. This is the longest we've kept anything going, actually. I

Casey

looked at the stats recently and I think that we've had almost 10, 000 downloads since starting. Well, that's an accomplishment. I mean, for as little as we market and as little as we're

Kari

like, we really don't market

Casey

well enough. No, we're terrible at it. We all

Kari

have goals for 2024 and this happens to be one of ours. And you're about to start

Casey

seeing a lot more of us.

Kari

Oh, for sure. Not only

Casey

I swear to God, if you're about to say a website, no, no, no, no. You've been teasing that for two years.

Kari

It's been teased to us for this long. Like we want a goddamn website, but no it's just. This is the year of our like transition. We knew what we wanted to do. We knew like the goals that we had for ourselves, but let's face it. Like you're a chiropractor. I'm a hairdresser. We are a fucking family. We have kids. We have a lot of shit. We are

Casey

the Montagues and Capulets.

Kari

Yeah, honestly. And now we have this like structure. My schedule is changing behind the chair. You just got a new schedule. This really allows for us to pinpoint the exact days that we're going to be working on our stuff. It was a

Casey

very strategic decision of us to say Hey, here's how I'm going to work. Here's how you're going to work. Anybody we've talked to. So if you don't know this, I mean, a lot of you don't, but me and Carrie, like I work two and a half days a week and she works what three days a week. Yeah. Yeah. We planned it that way on a purpose. It gives us to where. Whenever our kids are in school, we are with each other on Mondays and

Kari

Tuesdays. We have, this is kind of how I like lay it out for people to like, this is our new schedule Monday at Sunday. Let's start with Sunday. We're all together. Whole family, family day. Right. Monday, Tuesday, me and you, whether that be house. Podcast, coaching, SHA school stuff, all of it, right? And then Wednesday, you're off, have your own fucking day. Thursday, I'm off. I have my own fucking day. And then Friday and Saturday, we work separately. You have your chiropractic stuff, I have my hairdressing stuff. It really works out well. And every person that I've told our schedule to are vastly envious. They're like, what? I'm like, yes. But also they need to understand how hard we have worked. To get to this point in our lives where we can have a career that funds our income in our household. We're dukes. Yes, we are. And then we have You don't even know what I meant by that. Dukes, like dukes a hazard. No. No.

Casey

No. No, we talk about this often. We talk about dinks, double income, no kids. We're Dukes, double income with kids.

Kari

Fuck those kids. Sorry, this is a really popular phrase for us. Anyways, let's get started. What really kickstarted a lot of this episode was it's the new year. Let's find this new change. And we have a lot that we're going to dive into as far as like relationships and notice of that. But beforehand. We just took a trip and it was our first and only trip of 2023. It was absolutely fucking amazing. If you do not follow us along on social media, then you have absolutely no idea what we're talking about, so we just went on a trip. If you follow us on social media, you saw that we took our very first trip for 2023 and it was to where?

Casey

Winter Park,

Kari

Colorado Now I had never gone to the mountains before I had never been in such altitude I had never been in such cold.

Casey

We had a lot of story. There was a lot of advice for you beforehand because oh, I Know

Kari

I love going to the mountains. You've been going to mountain since you were born like this is just part of who you are Yeah You, yeah, I

Casey

mean, and you, the closest you had come to seeing mountains was in Las Vegas, the

Kari

biggest hills I'd ever seen. Yeah. We just don't get a lot of that in Texas. If you are aware in Texas, we're so huge that we technically have every. Like, terrain. What do you call that? Yeah, that you can have, right. But we just don't have it like an abundance, like a mountain or whatever. We have some really tall peaks.

Casey

We have the hill country with

Kari

the hill country. We got the forest. We got the swamps. We got woodlands. We got planes. We got fucking desert. It's not really a beach, but it's kind of a beach, like we have all of it. It's

Casey

a beach, technically. It's technically a beach.

Kari

It doesn't make it a good glorified lake. It's not a

Casey

good Really? It's a glorified lake. The Gulf of Mexico. Is

Kari

a glorified lake. I cannot wait. I'm sorry, if it's brown, it's not a beach. No. If it's

Casey

brown, it's not a beach. I can't wait to put this online.

Kari

And everyone's

Casey

going to agree with me. Literally the ocean is a glorified lake. Where

Kari

we are, not all oceans, our

Casey

ocean. You just called the Gulf of Mexico a glorified lake. Yes,

Kari

I did. Yes, I did. And they're honored to get that. Description of it, coffee grounds and water. Anyway, so we went on this trip and it was our, and it was also our first time taking the kids to the mountains. Yeah. What did our daughter do? She said, fuck this. Fucking hated it the second she walked out.

Casey

Nope, too cold. Signed. So I've been, I've been snowboarding most of my life, carry over here. The kids never even, so we signed them up for a half day lesson. Get on the mountain. You're going to get an instructor. Our daughter on the way to the mountain was so sunken in her chair and just staring at the window and like self reflection about how poor of a decision she felt it was that she was going to be getting onto the mountain and snow. And the

Kari

thing is about our daughter is she doesn't do. She doesn't want to do,

Casey

you couldn't convince her

Kari

never going to happen, but, and that was fine. We, we didn't really know how they were going to respond to this environment. I didn't know how I was going to respond. And we had kind of gone into it earlier on saying like, if they don't like it, we are not forcing it. You don't like it. You don't like it. Move on to the next activity. So Evelyn did miss out on all of the skiing. We're not going to get into that. But she missed out on all of it. That girl wanted to be in a hot tub. And that is where she found herself later that day. I think she spent like eight hours in a hot tub, which tracks for her and her love for the heat. But it was, it was a really great opportunity because even through us being there on vacation. With our family, we still found time to have these check ins, have these talks, talk about our relationship. We had a, we had a big one, too. We had a huge conversation about our relationship. In the middle of a bar. In the bar, in bed. No, it was literally, it was like, in the bar. And then that night, I think I woke you up at 2 a. m. Because first of all, I couldn't fucking breathe. And I was having a panic attack. So I woke you up, so hey, let's talk about this again. But, it, it was a great moment because we don't, We, we talk a lot about like setting aside time to talk with your partner, but sometimes it is spontaneous. And sometimes it is like, this is what I need to talk about. And well,

Casey

so, sometimes what happens is it is a

Kari

cat and I'm pretty sure that's Manson and I'm going to take two seconds. I

Casey

can't wait to make a sound bite out of that. If it carries, if it carries into the audio. I'm totally putting that online. I'm not even going to try to imitate whatever that is. By the way. Get your ass out of here! Orange cat! Orange cat! Was it Manson?

Kari

No, I couldn't see who he was attacking, but it was the orange cat. Anyways, go ahead, go.

Casey

I was going to make a point about Oh, oh, okay, okay, okay. We're back, we're back. So if If if you find yourself on these vacations or whatever it is, and there's nothing to do and you're being, and you're trying to figure out what you can do, that's a good time to be like, wait, if we have this time together, let's utilize time for our relationship check in now.

Kari

And when we say a relationship check in, this is something where you set aside time to sit down and just with your partner about where you stand. Maybe there was something that they did a week ago that really upset you, but maybe it wasn't the time to bring it up. Relationship check ins are super important. And sometimes doing them in situations like a vacation, because vacations just puts you in a different mindset in a relationship, no matter what, you're in a different place. You're in a different headspace. You're outside of your norm. Work schedule, kids, all of that. It just can, it can kind of slow down. So if you and your partner work well in an environment like that, Hey, we're outside our norm. Let's talk, then do that. Set aside time to where it doesn't feel like you're getting onto each other on vacation. Think of it as like the opposite.

Casey

Let's clarify that relationship check ins aren't all about getting onto each other. No,

Kari

absolutely not. It could be, you went down on me this way a week ago, and that was. fucking amazing. Celebrate the

Casey

good. Also find the things that you

Kari

need to work on. Yeah. It's just a time to set aside to say something that you've wanted to say good, bad midline that you just haven't had the opportunity opportunity to yet. Yeah. Yeah. So, so we did slightly plug the burlesque show. We always do. It's the first Friday of every month. We kind of talked about us. You know, Taco Bell drunkenness after. However, we're going to offer some

Casey

fucking great time. And that shows

Kari

you that show is so much fun. And the thing is, is the people that we want to take to these shows are people that have never experienced something like this before. Yeah. I love to take it. Sometimes we take some of our closest friends and sometimes we, we pick, you know, an acquaintance or maybe a close new friend or something and say, Hey, this is something that I know you've never experienced. Join us, please. Because I think that the more that we spread out, like the normalcy of burlesque, the less people assume what it is instead of having the opportunity to experience what it is. It

Casey

gives them a great vision onto what. In our opinion, true burlesque is

Kari

this is not, this

Casey

is not commercialized burlesque. A lot of times what you see from, I don't know, the movie burlesque or from a lot of these things is these like, it's very boxed into what the current Westernized society we live in views. attractiveness and burlesque as a certain body type, a certain makeup, certain feel. This is true burlesque is not limited to a fucking thing. Be who you are.

Kari

It's fucking comedic

Casey

singing. There's comedy. There's drag Queens. There's drag Kings. There's body positivity. There's fucking. Everything

Kari

is literally everything. And, and I have gone to burlesque shows my entire fucking life. I've been obsessed with it. And this was the first burlesque show that we have attended and, and obviously continue to that. I'm like, Holy shit. This is what burlesque is actually about. It's the most true to

Casey

burlesque show that we've ever seen.

Kari

Correct. And, and so we're, we're kind of leading with that to say, reach out to us. If you have never been to a burlesque show. This is now the opportunity. Not only are you going to get to hang out with us. But you're going to get the VIP experience because when we go to these shows, we don't fuck around. We're not in standing room. We're not just in the back corner. Fuck that. We are front row table for every single show. And this is the first show that we are actually offering to the public a chance to come and hang out with us and a chance to come and visit what the show has to offer. You, you want to join, you want to be one of the ones that we pick email us. I

Casey

mean, fine. You can DM us,

Kari

DM

Casey

us, say, Hey, do you guys have a couple of seats available? Me and my partner want to come, or I would love to come and bring my friend, submit

Kari

to us, tell us why to give us a reason why you want to be the ones to sit with us at this table and we will sift through it and we will find the one that we feel is best suited, but this is what's going to happen. This next show, we have a table of four, we have two seats available. Please come and join us. If you want in. And you want to hang out with us? Cause we're pretty fucking cool to hang out with. Whoa, you go. Absolutely. I am. That's what 2024 is for me. Big O ego. I'm just kidding. All right. So are you just kidding? I'm always just kidding. Fuck you. Anyways. So we have a game that you want to play. Please, please tell us this game that you have set up for us. I love your my segues. Yeah. You said this was my show today.

Casey

It is. It's, it is today. Oh, that is. Not, I'm not going to have a commentary on your show today. Absolutely. I will. So there's a page that we follow online called sex positive memes. If you want to find them, you can go to sex positive dot memes. And this person, we don't really know them. Like we had a back and forth conversation. But it was because we were so impressed with this game that they made that they were, they said, let's play a game. They said, top or bottom. And they gave. A series of paired cartoon characters. And then I gave a series of paired cartoon characters. And then you are to pick out of these two, which would be the top and which would be the bottom. Now, a couple of quick rules on this is that you can't, they can't be a switch. They can't be averse. No, just exclusively top or bottom. Out of these two, you must select the top. Or the bottom. And we want to go through a few, we want to go a few of these. We're going to leave some out because we really want you to go check out the post. We do. Yeah. But we're going to pick a couple of them to go through and we're going to start this off. Ready? Yes. Okay. So we have Rick Sanchez from Rick and Morty and we have Lila from Futurama. Discuss

Kari

Rick and Lila. Yeah, fuck. Those are two really dominating people.

Casey

I already know my answer.

Kari

I'm, I'm sorry. I'm just going to go with Rick as a Dom. Why? Because he's too cocky to be submissive, at least like. Like Leela in that sense, right? I can see her like, he's very intelligent. He's very smart. He has this big like presence and, and she's going to get off on the fact that everyone in the universe knows him. And so she's going to like submit because I mean, she's a strong character, but as one strong character to another strong character, we want to submit to someone that gives us the like universe. Right. Whenever you're

Casey

so busy. Looking at people who aren't. As strong as you are, it's really nice to have that refreshing air of someone that is can't handle

Kari

you. And in my opinion, no one is more universal dominant than fucking

Casey

Rick Sanchez. Yeah. I like, I mean, I like your answer. So. I'm going to nerd out on this for a second because I know, I know these two shows and these two characters insanely well. Of course you do. So we've seen Lila submissive before we had multiple

Kari

times. And that's what I'm saying. I've already

Casey

seen it. We've seen her in relationship. She was even, she'd slept with Zach Branigan first of all. And one of the first season one, not on top of that, she dated the mayor's aide. On top of that, she dated the guy that talked her into fixing her Cyclops eye and getting two eyes. Do you

Kari

see why I'm saying she's submissive?

Casey

Submissive. And Rick Sanchez, anytime anyone has ever come after him, including, I'm going to go including Unity. Who is like the symbiote, like the hive mind girl that he was with, he has always had a safety. He has always had some sort of, of like wall up every

Kari

single time. So are you saying you agree with me? Yeah. 100%.

Casey

Rick is a top in this one. Layla's the

Kari

bottom. As much as I admire her strength, she's the bottom in this.

Casey

Ready for the next one? Yeah. So we're going with a same sex couple here. Oh, okay. We're going Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin.

Kari

Oh, goddamn, that one's super hard. They're both submissive. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go with Homer being top just because I feel like if Homer was bottom, he would get like lost in Griffin's Size. That's your reasoning? Yeah. Yeah. Homer is going to have to be top because if Griffin was top like just like anatomy physical wise, it wouldn't work.

Casey

That I'm going to judge you on that one. I'm gonna judge because I disagree entirely because I

Kari

just imagine Griffin just being able to lay there. All he does is just lay there. So if you're so big that all you do is lay there, you have to be submissive. You do? Well, and then I also had this like thought in my head of whenever an episode. Where, what was his wife's name? The Lois Lois was like, they're doing BDSM, right. And she's putting on the boots and she's having the strap. And I see that. And he's just wearing like the mask where he has no sound or no, whatever. Right.

Casey

I know it's funny because I know exactly what you're talking about because he unzips the mouth and goes, love you. I

Kari

think that that puts into that submissive in my head, that I've already seen him be submissive. Okay. And so

Casey

You're starting to sway me because I was going to disagree in the beginning.

Kari

Yeah. But I'm like, I already see it. And then again, I just imagine you're big, you just lay there. So just be submissive and just lay there and take it. You know,

Casey

what about the respect of, I'm just going to lay here and tell you what to do. Lay here. I'm going to lay here while you do, as I say, job of the hut.

Kari

If I didn't write, if I didn't have the image of Lewis, Lewis being dominant to him, I, I. I would, could be swayed other ways, but because I've already mentally seen him be submissive. I can't unsee it. So you're biased

Casey

based upon one scene? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I am. So I, I, I haven't, I've been of a difficulty here because it's Homer. I mean, he. It's Homer Simpson. Homer Simpson is not a doof. He's not exactly. He's not a dominant person. His kids dominate him.

Kari

He is not a dominant person. Oh, he's very submissive. But maybe that's the role. Maybe that's the chance. Just like Lila is so strong that she has to be submissive, maybe this is Homer's chance to be

Casey

dominant. So just like we talk about in the podcast, we're like, hey, there's couples out there where one person spends all their time being dominant to the whole world. Yeah. And then they come home and all they want is to be submissive. Exactly. Okay. What if Homer's And I, I'm, I'm swayed. I am. Cause originally I was going to be like, now Homer, he's submissive to his kids, he's submissive to everybody around him, he's always being told what to do, and he's just

Kari

like, go with the flow. I had to fuck enough of it. In the bedroom. I'm going to say what happens, and we already know that Griffin is just like, okay,

Casey

we're moving on. All right. Oh, okay. We have two more that we're going to do because I want people to actually go look at the post. I know. I don't want to like, you haven't yet give sex positive memes to follow, but this is a good one. This is also a same sex couple. And this is Bob from Bob's Burgers and Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Oh, oh, oh,

Kari

oh, Those are some, those are two very passive. I'm gonna,

Casey

I'm gonna go with Bob at the top. I'm gonna go with Bob at the top, Shaggy at the bottom. Okay, why? So, first of all, Bob owns his own restaurant. Okay. He makes burgers, correct? He's, he's a food deliver. He has the burger of the day, whatever all that is. I

Kari

bet he has some kinky burger titles. I

Casey

bet he fucking does. He does. And then Shaggy's lover of food. I just give me that burger, baby. That's all he wants. That's all he wants. That's true. And so Shaggy, Shaggy leads a simple life. He rides in the back of the van. He has the best friend that's a dog. They just, all they do is solve mysteries and eat food. He doesn't ask for a lot. He doesn't need a lot. He doesn't require all of this. Bob has a, has a nuclear family, right? He's got the wife. He's got the kids. He's got the business. He is on top.

Kari

He's always having to be on the go. He's always having to make

Casey

decisions. At the same time, Bob has to be submissive to the people around him. Not just his wife a little bit, but the guy, Oh, it is Mr. Fish odor that collects his rent and the rival rival, Jimmy Pesto across the street that runs the Italian spot.

Kari

So he's had enough is what you're saying. The world has made him portray this like character to keep his business as his family afloat. So what does he want to do? He wants

Casey

to dominate somebody and Shaggy is the perfect go with the flow kind of

Kari

guy, even if Shaggy tried to dominate me, I would laugh. Right. I would laugh. You'd be

Casey

like, pass the blunt and go at it. Yeah.

Kari

Come on, bro. You know why we're here? This is not why we're here. I, I will a hundred percent be on board with this. Whenever we had first talked about this earlier with that one, I was like, I have no fucking clue. I don't know. That one, I'm, I'm stumped, but I, I agree with you wholeheartedly because, and also Shaggy could just never, it's just not who he is. There's no, like, I'm this person, but in the bedroom, I'm going to be vastly different. No, he's shown him. Sure.

Casey

Exactly. He's going to get zoinked all night.

Kari

All night. He's going to beg for zoinks all night.

Casey

We're doing one more of these and it's because I saved the best for last. Again, if you haven't given sex positive means to follow. So can

Kari

you say it again? Is it sex sex dot

Casey

sex positive dot memes. Okay. Exactly. Got it. Yep. Okay. This is a hard one. This is a difficult one. Jack Skellington. And Cruella DeVille. What? What?

Kari

Dude,

Casey

that's hard. The fucking Pumpkin King of Halloween Town. I don't know, man. Versus a Dalmatian murdering fashionista.

Kari

Fuck, that one's really hard because she's so, erratic. She's psychotic. She's a sociopath. She's a sociopath. Exactly. So like, can a sociopath be submissive? I don't know. That one's hard, but there's no way Jack is a fucking bottom.

Casey

I don't know. I mean, Jack might be a

Kari

bottom. I can't. I don't care how skinny he is. It's not

Casey

about you. That is the second time you made it about size. I'm going to get that shit out of your head.

Kari

I'm sorry. I'm going to go with the fact that Koala is. Is the the submissive one.

Casey

Why? I need to know why, how, how, and why would Jack be like, I'm going to put up with I'm just going to put her in her place and she's going to say, okay. Cause he's a

Kari

pumpkin king. Yeah. What are you, you are a broad that wants dogs. I'm the pumpkin king. I have died. I control, I own, I like, this is my domain. I was Santa Claus. Bitch. I don't know. I know. I think that kind of falls to the, like the Lila thing that we were saying, like, but have you seen her? She's dominant. She's dominant. Maybe that's, maybe that's the opportunity she gets to lay down on a blanket full made of Dalmatians. And, and is that what

Casey

he's going to deliver to her? Maybe.

Kari

To assert his dominance? I mean, he's, he's the death King. He's a pumpkin King. All the Dalmatians that die, he just cuts their skin off, their fur off before they're, they're dead. Right. You know, she, no one. I'm

Casey

sorry. What scenario are you coming up with right now?

Kari

That maybe that was his gift to her. Like, listen, bitch, you're crazy. And you want to kill Dalmatians. I'm not going to do that, but with, they're already dead. I'm going to skin them. I'm going to make you a blanket and you're going to lay on this blanket of Dalmatians that you so desire. And then you are now going to be submissive to me because I gave you the ultimate gift of a Dalmatian blanket. So then

Casey

you would say that she would willingly submit to someone who gave her what she wants. Yes. Yes.

Kari

A lot about

Casey

you

Kari

where I don't know where I would never want a domination blanket. Let's be clear.

Casey

Talking about the

Kari

But yeah, I think that, and I know earlier, I mean, you might've said this off air and I'm sorry for but you said no switch, right? Like, yeah. So yeah,

Casey

rules of this that we're not talking as much as we want to be like, Ooh, this one would totally be a switch. This one would totally be a verse. Yeah, no, we're not doing that. We're choosing a one strict top one,

Kari

strict bottom. So then if I can't say that she's a switch, I will say that she would be submissive to someone finally giving her what she's always wanted. And I feel like he's the man to do it. But also in my head, Jack is not submissive. You little dominant ass, long legged bitch. You stole Christmas. He has a dog. You were not submissive. He wanted something so bad, he went into another realm and stole it. He's a

Casey

dog person.

Kari

Oh, that's a good one. He's a dog person. He is.

Casey

He is a dog person. Are dog people

Kari

submissive? Yes. Anyone can be submissive.

Casey

It doesn't matter. This is such a fucking blanket

Kari

statement. I don't know. Are elephant people submissive? Like, I don't know. That doesn't matter.

Casey

I mean, you could have a cat.

Kari

No one. Cats are not submissive. So cat owners are not submissive. It even makes more sense. I love your logic. It even makes more sense. But dogs are submissive. He's a dog person. No, but, but she wants. Dog secretly. She wants to kill dogs. She loves them so much. She wants to wear them. She wants their skin. She loves them so much. She wants them close to home. No.

Casey

Close to her. So little about them, she's willing to kill a hundred of them to get a coat. One

Kari

coat. I mean, it's probably a really nice coat. People kill like rare foxes for coats. So Dalmatian, I can breed you a new one in a week.

Casey

Are you saying that 101 Dalmatians should have been about a more rare animal? I

Kari

think that maybe, or let's flip it and just say how easy it was for her to make the coach. You know, is

Casey

she a bad person? Why did she have to go over that one family with those 100 Dalmatians? She couldn't get a hundred Dalmatians. I mean, it's just easier that way. She could have posted, at the time, she could have posted a flyer on the street, 10 bucks for your Dalmatian. Bring it here. She could have gotten a coat. She didn't need to go over after the puppies. I feel like we're

Kari

sidetracking. It's like an anomaly. Puppies. Why not weigh into the full grown? You have more fur that way.

Casey

Is the same. I mean, would you rather eat, you know, cow or

Kari

veal? I've never had veal. So I don't know. Casey, have you had veal? Oh, yes. Delicious. I've never had veal. So I don't know. I don't know. All right, So what is your answer? I've so aggressively given my response. Oh

Casey

yeah. You went onto it. You know, that's funny enough because I agree with you, I just like to push your buttons. No, I, I don't think that Jack is, I think that he's too, too strategic. I think that he is too much, like loves the control of things. I think, I think that he would outsmart Cruella in some way, shape or form easily. I think that he would just talk her into it. He knows what he wants. I think

Kari

him and Sally would get down on some fucking Cruella.

Casey

Oh, there. Okay. Now we're talking. I think fantasy threesomes.

Kari

Absolutely. Let's put those characters

Casey

together. Jack and Sally rock

Kari

Cruella's world. Exactly. And she dies from it and then joins them. And

Casey

here she is. She's

Kari

already skinny enough. She looks like Skeletor. So it's I'm just fit right in.

Casey

That's the third body comment. we're going to put in like body physique comments made by Carrie and have a

Kari

counter. I will get canceled so fast. I'm already afraid to have a podcast enough as it is of getting canceled because of my mouth. Let's not point them out. But but yeah, so head over to their page. They honestly, they post a lot of cool stuff. This was just the first one that we were like, Hey, let's turn this into like a little segment in our

Casey

show. And they do a good job. They're almost, I mean, they're, they're just shy of 10, 000 of followers from hitting a hundred K. They do, they do posts on open relationship apps. They do memes all the fucking time. And they have, the good news is, is that this is a hundred percent original content means they make that claim, right? Yeah. So you have a lot of pages that just share shit from other people. This page claims 100 percent original content and I love anything you find there is stuff that they're that they're doing themselves And they've got some really fucking good stuff. Like I mean everything from rings all the way through to like Spongebob and BDSM stuff and Hellraiser and Rick and Morty and every actor actress and performance.

Kari

Yeah, so go give them a good show Yeah, go give them a follow see kind of what we're seeing but we had kind of slightly discussed. That's really what today's episode is going to be about. And if you follow like 30 minutes, I know that's fine. We're fucking funny. They're enjoying it. If you had followed our Instagram page, the CW Casey official we made a post the other day that said new year, new screw. Yeah. Would you like to kind of like dive into that and

Casey

what that means? Well, my favorite thing about new year, new screw is yeah, absolutely.

Kari

Well, because anytime that we're finding ourselves in the new year, I'm, I'm sorry, I don't give a fuck how many people are like, Oh, that's so lame doing a new year's resolution. Who gives a fuck? It, it is January. It is a new month. It's a new year. It's a new time. It's a new opportunity to be better, choose better. Be wiser, do something different. Why the fuck not to kickstarted in January? So

Casey

with New Year's resolutions the reality of a New Year's resolution to me is that it's very popular now to be like stupid. We're

Kari

going to go against the grain. All of a sudden it's cool to say it's dumb. But well, then be the cool person that says it's dumb and doesn't accomplish anything. No,

Casey

the reality of it is, is that I, instead of choosing to move away from it, I like to lean into it because you have this large group of accountability people who are all posting about their decisions that they're making with starting anew. The, the fact is, is that this, this Is to us in at least the United States as the reset. This is the start of something new. This is day one. This is one, one, one, do your thing, do your thing. This is the time to do it. This is the time to make the decision. And you have a bunch of people around you. So to say that it's stupid to even try something new, come on.

Kari

I don't know. I had my client asked me the other day, she was like, Oh, do you have a new year's resolution? Or, you know, are you even doing that thing? I'm like, Of course I'm doing that. Like, why wouldn't I, but I didn't realize that it, like you were saying, it kind of had this like negative, people had this like negative mindset to

Casey

it. like the last 10 years or so maybe being like New Year's resolutions are stupid. If you want to start something new, the best day is today. Yeah.

Kari

I, and again, if whatever, but what we're saying is that like January gives you. An amazing opportunity to just be different. And what we want to talk about is again slightly in what we discussed discussed earlier is like maybe having a relationship check in, maybe setting new goals for y'all's relationship, maybe setting new goals for your family. We sit down every year and we talk like, all right, kids, we're going to try it. We're going to do this different. We're going to focus on this and I see no fucking harm in it to sit down with your partner and say, What can you and I do better? What was something last year that you really felt like you missed out on? You know, for you, maybe it was blowjob Sundays. Maybe I didn't give you enough blowjob Sundays last year. Not enough blowjobs, not enough blowjobs. But maybe that is a discussion. And I don't think that you need to take this too extreme or too little. It is how you feel about your relationship and things that you would like to see. Different. Yeah. And so we just, we really encourage that. Casey and I have focused on. Yeah. This year we're focusing on us. Yeah. We're not

Casey

being open. Yeah. So that was one that was gonna be like, we want to talk about it. Like, let's talk about it a little bit. We have made the decision to shift our focus from being like monogamish and like opening up to new sexual experiences to focusing on us as a couple with just the two

Kari

of us. Well, and one of the bigger things that's changing for us is Casey actually gifted me with something. This Christmas. I am now enrolled in sexual health alliance, which is the program. Oh, plug the fuck

Casey

out of them. Cause they do amazing work.

Kari

Which is the program that Casey has been in now for about a, maybe a little over a year and a half a year. Yeah. So if y'all are unaware of our like big goal here is we want to do couples counseling. We're wanting. Casey is going to be like the counseling aspect of I'm going to be the coach. Now, the big difference between coaching and counseling one is a counselor is there to really break down like the emotions, the past, the trauma, the situations that y'all find yourselves in. And let's really break that down to the core of what the problem is. While me coaching is going to be. Okay, you had a session with my husband, y'all got to talk in depth and now I'm your coach. I'm here to tell you, I want you to explore this sexually. I want you to set up these dates. I want you to fill out this form and y'all figure these things out about one another. My job is to. Coach you into being a better couple and Casey's job is going to be counseling you into figuring out how to become that better couple vertical versus horizontal. Yes. And this has been the biggest goal that we have ever had. But

Casey

there's a reason behind it. And I want to speak on that for a second because whenever we started our page and we were looking at, I mean, let's face it, there's. Pages upon pages upon pages of people that are offering advice on sex and sexuality on what do you do if you have low libido and what are you doing after this? And let us coach you. And one of the things we noticed about a lot of people is that they're coaching or teaching from personal experience. And while we have the last 14 years, Of personal experience to us. That's not enough. It's not enough for us to just be like, here's what we went through because we only know what we know, right? If we know what we know, we don't know what we don't know. So if we're trying to give people advice based upon our personal experience, we're doing them a

Kari

disservice without having the full scope of understanding.

Casey

So what we therefore needed to do. Was expand our academia to make sure that we're giving advice based upon evidence based practices that are thoroughly researched that are very accepted by the academic community and just as effective ways to help

Kari

people. Yeah, and just so far from what our normal experience is. So not only are we going to be able to give you this, like. What we've experienced 14 years together, but the information that others have brought to us, that is something that we could never possibly experienced because it wasn't our

Casey

story. Research upon research, research upon diving in, and this is the program that we've crafted based upon this is, is. I mean, I, I hate, I actually, I love to be the person that's like, no, this is, this is what I wish I would have had, but this is what I wish I would have had. There's too many times where we've heard people giving advice. Where we've been like, well, maybe that'll work for us. Why did it, why does it work for, for everybody else? Well, it didn't work for everybody else. It worked for us. I'm like, okay, so you're giving me an instance in which something worked for you and then you're turning around and telling people that that's what they should also do because it worked for you. So we're just,

Kari

yeah, exactly. And, and that's one thing that I love about going through SHA or Shaw or sexual health alliance is again, Casey's really going to be focusing on like the counseling portion where I, where I get the opportunity to focus more on like the coaching aspect and

Casey

present and you are

Kari

the future. Yes. And because we are focusing so much on our studies and our goals. We were taking a step back from exploring. We're not going to be open. We're utilizing this time to just focus in on one another. Yeah,

Casey

we strongly feel that if you're going to open up a relationship in any way, then you need to be able to make time for those other people. And I think that's a big part of it. And you don't want to be like, Hey, I'm sacrificing my time with this other person. Because I have all this other stuff on my plate, you know, we've talked to people who have been like, I have four relationships and that's how much they can handle. And that's what, they're good at that. That's, that's all well and good. And there's other people that have two relationships or one relationship and that's all they can handle based upon what's on their

Kari

plate. And see, for me, I have four relationships. I have you, I have my family, I have my job, and now I have SHA. Exactly. I have my four relationships. I'm not going to stress myself out about. Trying to put in energy and time. And that's honestly, and I think you said it, that would be me doing a disservice to then to that person. So this year, that is not what we're working on. It doesn't mean that we don't want to have involvement in interaction. The people that we've met through this, like open society is fucking amazing. And these are the

Casey

friends that we want. We said this, we said this the other day to each other. Yeah. And it was that I have never met. Consent and driven, boundary driven people than I have within like lifestyle. And it's so interesting to me because it gets misconstrued all the time where people are like, Oh, you're open. That means you want to fuck everything that walks. No, not even a little bit. It means that you are open to the capacity of exploring various relationship styles. And so to meet these people who are so respectful of boundaries and consent and all that is a really cool thing.

Kari

And that is something that we want to continue to work on is, is forming these relationships. But yeah, in a sense, I feel like we need to just go out there and say, Hey, this is what we're focusing on this year. This is what we're going to be doing. Not much is, not much is changing aside from like, we're just focusing on ourselves and our lives this year. But that was part of our relationship check in and that was in part of why we want to do this episode is it's important to sit down and talk to your partner about the year, what you want, what you don't want, your expectations, your desires. This is the time of year to do those things. I'm going to scream

Casey

it. I'm going to scream it. If you do it with your career, why the fuck are you not doing it with your relationship? Yes. You make goals for your career all day long. KPIs. You set various metrics to measure your growth in your professional capacity. Why the fuck are you not doing it in your personal relationship?

Kari

I mean, that was even us getting into this before I thought that I, I've been a planner. I love fucking planners. January 1st, give me a goddamn planner. And like, I've been so driven by that. But looking back at some of my old ones, not one really said what I wanted for me and you, it might've been for the kids and what we need to do for them, but it was so rare that it was me and you. And I don't think it was until probably this past year that we sat down and we did have this conversation in January. And one of our big things was setting up a date night. You have to understand how important it is to have a date night with your partner.

Casey

You know, I honestly, I think a lot of people do understand the importance. But do

Kari

they understand like setting aside the time?

Casey

This is what, this is one of the things that's been on my mind a lot lately because I think that people understand the importance but don't have the motivation to make it important. I think because so many people become so comfortable and complacent in their relationship that they are not good at stepping outside of that comfort zone. And they go, well, no, my relationship's good. They become comfortable with being like, oh, I have a, whether it be a wife or a long term partner with kids and everything else, they become more secure. They don't think it's going anywhere. They have this high risk with their professional life of being like, well, if I'm a business owner or an entrepreneur that could go away tomorrow and they think, well, I have a family that's not going anywhere. So why do I have like, even though they do it consciously or subconsciously, why should I have to focus on that so much? And they kind of lose sight of their priorities because they're just trying to make that dollar or they're just trying to further their career because it's right in front of them versus something that they feel comfortable in. So we want to encourage you to step outside your comfort zone this year and really start to focus on like, how can you improve your personal relationships? I

Kari

mean, yeah, if you're going to, like you said, you have physical goals. We all have physical goals. We all have work goals. You need to have relationship and family goals and you need to be able to maybe sit down and do monthly Check ins do quarterly check ins, whatever, but

Casey

I feel like everyone's check ins are gonna be different. Yeah, so

Kari

we do daily

Casey

We well we have we have certain aspects that we check in daily certain aspects. We check in monthly Yeah in certain aspects we check in on a big annual. We do love the big annual one Yeah, the big annual one is more of like What's going to happen this year? Yeah. What are we going to look like for the next year? So to be someone that, that just like assumes that your 2023 is going to be the same as your 2024 in your relationship. I get rid of that thinking. Yeah. Change it. I

Kari

fucking God. My 2023 is not the same as 2024. There's nothing wrong with 20. Relative

Casey

to my personal relationship. But I want it to be different. I want your career to look different. And people are like, I'm going to fucking. I hate this term 10 X my shit on, on my next year. Why are you not trying to do that with your relationship?

Kari

And I think that's the biggest point is again, like there's so many times that you hear maybe dry January and things that like pop up throughout the year, or I'm going to start working out today, but so much of it. And to me almost feel selfish. Yeah, this is what I need. This is what I need. This is what I'm doing. This is me instead. What are me and my partner doing? What can we do together? Your partner can

Casey

also drive those individual goals, too.

Kari

Absolutely! And to sit there and be able to communicate that with your partner, like, that's what they're there for in so many ways, but that is in part. And if you have someone that loves you and, and wants I mean, I, I love you deeply. I want to help you with everything that you're doing. I can't imagine that there's a partner out there that doesn't feel the same. So like sharing those goals with one another, helping each other to be accountable, and that can be towards maybe your business goals and your physical goals, but sharing those with your partner and allowing them into that space, it's super

Casey

important. And listen, if you're somebody that does attempt to share. With your partner about these goals and it's met with rejection or judgment, or it causes detriment. That's where it's time to reach out to us.

Kari

Yeah, exactly. I was about to say, like, that's, that's the time you need outside help and there's nothing wrong with outsourcing help. Do it like we, we, we just signed up for counseling. Yeah. There's nothing wrong

Casey

with it. We literally just did it. We do therapy. All the time. Well, not

Kari

all the time, but we've been in the past and, and that was one of our personal goals together for this year is to get in counseling together. We are not fucking perfect. Not only am I going into counseling because I want the help, the slight bit of is like taking notes to see how they do it, but, but it's important. There is no part of me that does not want to get closer to you. I don't care how long we've been together. There's no part of me that doesn't want to feel emotionally more connected in a way that we might need a third party to come in and help us out with these things. There's always layers. Always. You're big old onion. I'm the ogre and you're the onion. I'm a fucking

Casey

parfait.

Kari

And no one said they

Casey

don't like parfait. Your Eddie Murphy impression is kind of funny. This is not selling him at all. What else do you have on the agendas for today? Dude, no, honestly, that was it.

Kari

We literally wrote the last thing and I'm over here looking at our timer and I'm like, God damn, we've gone over. But I guess this is what happens when we haven't had a show in a

Casey

bit. Welcome to 2024. We're very excited. Expect the greatest out of CWKC because we expect the greatest out of you.

Kari

And you're going to get a lot more with both of us being in this fucking HSA program. Now, at this point, you're going to get a lot more SHA, SSA, SSA, SSA,

Casey

baby. Oh Lord. Anyway, for for our first episode CW Casey, I am Dr. Casey Sanders and I'm just Carrie. Have a nice day.

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