Are you feeling drained, stretched thin, or like your energy is being constantly siphoned off in your relationships? Your rescue is here... Maybe 🤔
Listen in as we navigate the intricate dance of safeguarding personal energy, especially in polyamory. We discuss the significance of having allies in this community - those who exhibit empathy and balance and don't allow their kindness to turn them into pushovers.
We bet you've heard about how the world divides into introverts and extroverts, but have you ever stopped to think about how these tendencies affect your energy pool? We draw on personal experiences, opening up about how we recognise when our energy reserves are in the red and what we do to replenish them. We expand on how to identify triggers and dodge our personal energy-draining vibes, ultimately maintaining a healthy energy level and mindset.
Finally, we tackle the art of protecting and managing your energy. We share our thoughts on setting boundaries, spotting energy leeches, and taking the necessary steps to alter our circumstances. We discuss a completely non-existent flowchart to illustrate the thought process, we underscore the paramount importance of self-care and conserving our energy.
Pressing play on this episode will arm you with valuable insights on how to handle your energy levels day in, day out, ensuring you're not just surviving, but (hopefully) thriving.
Make it so!
H & B x
Are you feeling drained, stretched thin, or like your energy is being constantly siphoned off in your relationships? Your rescue is here... Maybe 🤔
Listen in as we navigate the intricate dance of safeguarding personal energy, especially in polyamory. We discuss the significance of having allies in this community - those who exhibit empathy and balance and don't allow their kindness to turn them into pushovers.
We bet you've heard about how the world divides into introverts and extroverts, but have you ever stopped to think about how these tendencies affect your energy pool? We draw on personal experiences, opening up about how we recognise when our energy reserves are in the red and what we do to replenish them. We expand on how to identify triggers and dodge our personal energy-draining vibes, ultimately maintaining a healthy energy level and mindset.
Finally, we tackle the art of protecting and managing your energy. We share our thoughts on setting boundaries, spotting energy leeches, and taking the necessary steps to alter our circumstances. We discuss a completely non-existent flowchart to illustrate the thought process, we underscore the paramount importance of self-care and conserving our energy.
Pressing play on this episode will arm you with valuable insights on how to handle your energy levels day in, day out, ensuring you're not just surviving, but (hopefully) thriving.
Make it so!
H & B x
More energy, more energy, more passion. More energy, more passion. Hello and welcome to the Poly Pocket Podcast, the UK flagship podcast of polyamorism, creative sex parties and not feeling tip top. Hello, I'm Hunter, I'm your friend. More lucky exhausted butchers here, butchers prone.
Speaker 3:Not quite, but.
Speaker 1:Semi prone. Yeah, for not exciting reasons. Why are you prone?
Speaker 3:Just feel rubbish.
Speaker 1:That's right. It's that season when we complain about illness. We have stopped complaining about audio issues and we haven't complained to him at all, or tired for a while, so we are.
Speaker 3:I'm definitely. I've definitely complained about being tired.
Speaker 1:Less so than we used to. I think the things have been going well for a few weeks there and now we're back into our regular cycle. No doubt we'll be doing one of these next to a train line soon. This week part of the schedule we were talking about changing it, but actually it was so fitting we kept it in, which is protecting your energy and whether you've got any in the first place to protect. But before we go on to that, possibly downward sloping, an ideally brief conversation so we can protect our energy. This week's polypher Yep, which was a joint effort, Well, we had some, yeah, A team effort.
Speaker 3:It was a team effort. We had a lady over for dinner on. Friday. Yes. I can't remember what name we decided on now.
Speaker 1:I think we had Givorn.
Speaker 3:Anyway, it was something to do with diamonds or something along those lines, and because my brain is completely befuddled, I have lost all track of information, so but yes, she came over for dinner. We had a friendly chat and it was just very much a chat about life, wasn't it?
Speaker 1:It really was Nice to meet her. I think she's very good having allies in the community and I would touch the kids this person one of those. She was lovely.
Speaker 3:And she bought a lovely bunch of flowers. The kids were very taken with them. Who bought you those? A friend, who's your friend? Just a friend?
Speaker 1:Explain more, tell me more now. That always goes down well. And then the the. Was it the following evening? Yeah, the following evening you and I both met up with Lady V for dinner.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so went out for dinner with my met up. It was all right, wasn't it? Yeah, well, you've done it before. We went out for a lovely meal with French fancy. Back in the summer we took you to the brasserie that him and I have been to before, and I'd sent you and Lady V pictures of it. Actually because, it was just as you first started seeing her. Yeah, I was like this place is gorgeous. And yeah, so we took you there, so we yeah.
Speaker 1:But also from the meta point of view, just because it is gently entertaining. Where we went is also where you had your first date with French fancy.
Speaker 3:Well indeed. So yeah, sent a picture of the corner of the room and I'm like it's where we had our first kiss. And what did he say? It's something like oh, you're sweet, I don't know. Oh no, he said who are you out for dinner with? I think he thought that maybe I was on another date. Yeah, no, no, I'm on a date with Hunter. Well, I can't really call it a date. Well, it is a date I don't know. It's out for dinner with Hunter and Lady V, and she was very excited by he thought it was lovely.
Speaker 1:I was very excited by it. It was. I was on the other side of the table, beaming, just thinking how lucky I am. So thank you to both of you for that. It was lovely.
Speaker 3:Well, like I've said before, she is one of two people since we've been in this lifestyle who has done a huge amount of legwork to help support me within it as well. Now, I know people it's not people's responsibility to do that, necessarily, but she has chosen to like legs did as well, to very much make sure that everybody within the situation was looked after and happy, and you know that's why we're still extremely good friends with legs and still meet up with her and the air steward Now that she is. You know a thing with him.
Speaker 3:You can't say that she'll freak out. Oh yeah, sorry Couple's profile Commitment for her Not at all, but you know she has a very similar energy to Lady V in that really being. If you could bottle what either of them do and sell it, you'd be rich in the polyamory world, without a doubt.
Speaker 1:Or even friendships. I was going to say if you could just bottle it and sell it generally like people need more people like that in the world who are that empathetic.
Speaker 3:But straight down the line as well, like they don't get taken for a ride through their empathy. No. They know where they're at, they know who they are. You can't take the piss out of them, but for the people that they want, I disagree, but I think I'm sorry, it's like more battery way I can. Yes, but you couldn't pull the wool over a rise. Do you want to learn?
Speaker 3:it. No, and that's an incredibly corporate term but incredibly difficult needle to thread on balancing off those attributes, and those two are two people in life who I feel do it incredibly well.
Speaker 1:I'm trying to work out if it's worth it Not now, but it's some future point. Trying to work out what that is Because obviously the response you get from that is very positive. What does that mean to someone who is not them? What can they do that's actionable to be more like them? I'm not saying everyone should be, but it is a good experience for everyone involved.
Speaker 3:Definitely, I don't think they could tell you.
Speaker 1:To be perfectly honest, that's why I'm not asking them, asking you.
Speaker 3:What I think they do is put themselves in the other person's shoes, even though, ultimately, they could choose to go well, but just the primary partner she gets every. Or the anchor partner she gets everything she wants, needs, desires, requires, and I just get a fleeting moment of hunter's time. So therefore, they could choose not to really consider the fact that my energy and my feelings need or could be considered within it, and we've definitely had people in the past that have very much taken that line.
Speaker 1:Yeah, along with the dog walking outside.
Speaker 3:Along with the dog barking outside. That's not going to be annoying at all, is it Not at all? No, it's fine. But from my side it was so nice to experience the flip side of what you've experienced from a meta perspective, particularly with French fancy, and I guess it's probably a good time to sort of let people know that Texan Tom and I have decided to go our separate ways. Just, it's that classic thing of you want different things. You've grown apart. Very amicable, very amicable. I still love him.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I still have a huge amount of care and he's been a very, very solid part of our foundation within this lifestyle. But yeah, it sadly is what it is. So, yeah, so it is very much. I'm kind of pulling on the example of French fancy at the moment, I guess, and for reference. And for reference. Sorry, but it's nice being on the flip side and seeing the enjoyment and guessing the compersion piece which, on the whole, I haven't really experienced up until this point. In many ways, yeah, nice. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Thank you?
Speaker 3:Oh, thanks to her, I guess, I guess.
Speaker 1:So I've done nothing to do with me, as it's all her, she takes all the credit.
Speaker 3:So she should.
Speaker 1:No, it's fine.
Speaker 3:I know your flaws, don't know hers.
Speaker 1:I have flaws. Okay, another episode. Yeah, what are Hunter's flaws? Two hour podcast coming in. Two hours, all right. Five it's going to happen. Right, that was our weekend, polly, and it was lovely, but we're going to move on to the thing that we're both struggling with, which is how to protect your energy, and we'll do this the most buoyant way we can, despite the fact that I have been in a new war, currently ill, uh-huh, and I've also just come back from a nine mile run. I'm kind of tired. So, yeah, where to start, I suppose. Well, any thoughts?
Speaker 3:So I think it's a case of looking at what's going on in your world at any one time. If anybody can now hear an alarm, the dog said off. The dog's probably set it off. So not our dog, someone else's dog. We have a dog, no, okay good to check.
Speaker 3:That's a good point. We don't have a dog, so it's looking at where you're at at any one time and understanding for me what the external influences are going on in your world that could be potentially impacting your polly relationships, which I mean, to be honest, it would be the same if we were monogamous. You know, we're going through a huge amount of upheaval on our personal lives at the moment on many different aspects, and I think it's probably worth calling out that this conversation could potentially go down the trauma route. So I'm giving a trigger warning now that that might happen. It might not. It just depends on the flow of the conversation, I guess. But you know it's that case of owning yourself and knowing where you're at in order to then make decisions as to how you operate. Do you agree? Hmm?
Speaker 1:Largely. Yes, not entirely that. I think there's also a bit of you know, where do you get your energy from as well now, and for me, this always ends up being back as, in broad terms, myers-briggs yeah, are you an introvert and people make you less energetic, or you're extrovert and you get your energy from people? You're definitely on that scale. That's where you get your energy from. That's fine. More energy, more passion, more energy, more passion, and I'm either way. I can do all the social stuff for people who meet me. Don't think I'm very extrovert and very outgoing, and I can do that for a few hours, and then I will tank and meet up an app. That said, though, I mean obviously I am ill, but even I Are you ill?
Speaker 3:Thank you, but even before I really properly came down with this, I could sense within myself that I really wasn't feeling good and we were due to have people over for dinner tonight to talk about lifestyle stuff and again just very much as friends and allies within the space. But I texted them early doors yesterday to say that we've had a lot going on with our own director, we've had a lot going on with our own direct family, extended wider family job, everything at the moment, and I want to be able to present the best version of myself and I know that won't be me tomorrow night and it is now gone three o'clock in the afternoon. They would be coming over at eight in a different world.
Speaker 1:And be very disappointed.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they would find me probably curled up in bed already.
Speaker 1:One-sided conversation.
Speaker 3:Indeed.
Speaker 1:So okay, it's such a low energy conversation.
Speaker 3:Sorry everybody, we literally had no other time to record this.
Speaker 1:Because we've been ill. Monday I was in London. Tuesday I got wiped out because I was ill. Yesterday you started to be ill and we were both in London.
Speaker 3:Yeah, went to the same business event, didn't we?
Speaker 1:And then on the way back last night, you were already tanking and we were in bed by about half-sifon last night and you slept for about 10 hours, probably more.
Speaker 3:Probably more yeah.
Speaker 1:And they're still tired.
Speaker 3:And we've got busy weekend ahead with being in the house and various other things.
Speaker 1:Well, that's where only juice going. First of all, where do you get your energy from? How do you know what's the right amount, how do you know when it's been depleted and what can you protect it? So you know, I started off with the introvert, extrovert. Where do you get your energy from? How do you know if you've got enough? Yeah.
Speaker 1:I mean, there's different things you can key into there, which is how can you tell your energy is being depleted? But you can just go, I am tired. Yeah, you can ache. My thing is, if I, after a few days of not getting like proper sleep, I start to get mothorses, I get really run down.
Speaker 3:Mine's my stomach.
Speaker 1:Yours is your stomach.
Speaker 3:Not stomach ulcers no, I get an upset stomach and sinuses, but I think that there's a lot of science behind those two things being related as well, and having kids being a massive trigger for all of that stuff.
Speaker 1:But you can tell when you're not feeling great, listless, lethargic. Also, if you get like wild shifts appetite, if you're a stress or a comfort eater, you might find yourself doing those things. That doesn't really apply to either of us. But yeah, oz is probably more physical movement.
Speaker 3:No for us. If we're not moving much, that's usually an indication of the fact that we're not on point.
Speaker 1:Exactly so. Those are like indicators of where your energy is being depleted and then come down to like well, again, how do you protect it? So, oh, there's an ambulance, it's an ambulance.
Speaker 3:We are sat in our office. Yeah, that's normal.
Speaker 1:Nothing has changed apart from the time of day, but for some reason it's all actions. This doesn't normally happen there.
Speaker 3:Well, we recorded around the same time of day last week, but normally we're recording quite late at night, aren't we? It's usually fireworks and stuff. That's the problem. That's strange, weird Very.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like you can feel you either need to retain your energy. Actually, here's an interesting one, because you might have an event coming up, you might have like a social, whatever, a date, and you know you need to be on point, like you say, present the best version of yourself. This comes down to how do you protect your energy Because you want to, like, bank it so that you can go to the thing, whatever the thing is, and go. I am fresh and refreshed and ready to go.
Speaker 3:So I can give an example of this from the most recent party that we went to KK for their birthday ball where we joined the group chat, but, like I said, I barely looked at it.
Speaker 3:I mean, I was so busy you could barely keep up anyway.
Speaker 3:But there's a very particular reason in this as well, which is something you and I have landed on recently, which is I really struggle with how do I put this Energies, certain energies, in people where there is very little consequence to actions, and if I see those people on the group, it triggers me, it makes me feel very uncomfortable. So I needed to protect my energy by not really getting invested in the group and just by going in and just enjoying it for what it was and very much avoiding anybody that had that sort of energy as much as I possibly could or that I knew of. Who has that energy to make myself feel safe. And this is kind of where that trauma thing comes in, and I'm not going to go deep into it, but one of the things I have struggled with since childhood is that those who are reckless or impulsive. I struggle with that because there was always a repercussion for me if I was reckless or impulsive Right, and therefore I have to step away from those people on all levels in order to protect my own energy.
Speaker 1:It's great you can recognise that in yourself and recognise the difference between you and those people and the impact.
Speaker 3:Because they are totally valid in being reckless and impulsive. Reckless sounds really reckless is the negative word of that, but impulsive is probably a nicer way of saying it.
Speaker 1:But I like how reckless has been remarketed as impulsive.
Speaker 3:Come on.
Speaker 1:I was saying that's what you did there Remarketed recklessness is being impulsive. It's the same thing, but with a nicer label on it.
Speaker 3:That's what I'm saying. It's actually reckless and it's all new as bestos. Yeah, yeah. So they are totally valid in being that way, but for me the energy doesn't sit right.
Speaker 1:Whereas for me because I am more impulsive than you and I am less plany than you when it comes to things I quite like it. There is something I find that there's certainly different reference points, Is it? We've just finished watching lessons in chemistry and one of the protagonists is into jazz and he likes the fact that having all those slightly chaotic interactions is where you can't plan for cool things to happen, and I get that. And yet the other protagonist is very much a no, you will plan this. You all know what's going to happen before it happens. You and I are actually on different pages there, and I can totally get why there is that friction there between those two personality types?
Speaker 3:And I can be impulsive. I can do it, but it's got to be within the framework of here's time for you to go and be impulsive like at the party. So that's why I didn't go onto the group, because I thought, as we discussed back then, you're pre-planning too much of your night by getting involved, getting invested on the people in the group.
Speaker 3:That might come to nothing, whereas the Fatima Ghana approach, when we just went and we had four days to do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted it, all we needed to do was get on the flight there and get on the flight back. The rest was winging it, high quality winging it. I mean, we'd booked things and you know all of that. But even with that, those times changed, etc. It didn't matter. I didn't make it to park run in time.
Speaker 3:You did I didn't, didn't matter, didn't care, I still got to do a lovely eight, nine miles of walking and running that day and I still got soaked, and you still got soaked. I thought you said sucked. Then I was like excuse me, you're at park run.
Speaker 1:Don't say it later, but yeah, exactly that. So where does this feedback to the energy? So, people who are relentlessly impulsive, you find draining In all things. I think if I spent a lot of time with someone like that I would feel the same, but a little bit of it I quite like.
Speaker 3:I think we have, to some extent, spent time with those people. Yeah, yes, we have, and it's not good for us because for you and I, we feel like we need to keep up with those people.
Speaker 1:But I certainly do, because I can feel myself getting dragged along by them and also going this is fun. Like the little devil on my shoulders going this is fun, let's do some more of this. What's going to happen next? And you have the angel going no, no, no, this is not planned, I'm not doing it. And you do have, as you sort of alluded to before, you do have a need to control things and you don't like being out of control.
Speaker 1:It does remind me of a colleague of mine who was very, very much a Myers-Briggs J and she said in her family diary that there was planned unplanned time, like two hours on a Thursday night. Keeps coming up at the school. You got two hours of unplanned time, but it was in the diary.
Speaker 3:I'm not quite that bad.
Speaker 1:No, no, she was really extreme, but I just love the idea that she had two hours or two or three days a week for planned, unplanned time. It's meant like for me that was alien Still is a little bit.
Speaker 1:So you protect your energy by not necessarily avoiding but managing how much time you spend with certain people. There's generally, I think, your own personal health and, like it's a classic thing, are you getting enough sleep? Are you drinking enough water? No, ever no, I wonder, as both adults and maybe more particularly as parents. I don't know anybody Like genuinely I don't know anybody who's tired all the sodding time. Everyone's tired.
Speaker 1:There is a meme I saw recently and it was like being an adult is just telling everyone how tired you are and then going, yeah, me too. And then you keep saying that until the end of the universe.
Speaker 3:But we live very busy lives as well. So I think protecting of the energy comes back to knowing when enough is enough or not taking on too much. I think you and I used to be particularly guilty of that, probably this time last year. You it wasn't just me, was it?
Speaker 1:No, I think generally you're the one who throws more things into our diary, generally speaking.
Speaker 3:Definitely, but I do think I've got better.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because I keep saying stop doing it.
Speaker 3:Well, you not so much. You haven't said it to me for a while.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because you got better at doing it.
Speaker 3:Yeah, last year before, sort of a lot of our sort of dating setup changed. It was just too much. That is very yes. Yeah it was. We were away from each other several nights a week doing various things and it was just too much for everybody the kids, us.
Speaker 1:I definitely went through a two or three-month phase of missing out on an awful lot of sleep and, yeah, that really got to me.
Speaker 3:Well, you constantly had ulcers and you were constantly run down, and that wasn't heard by certain other parties at the time as well, great if other people can stay up till two, three o'clock on a Thursday morning, friday morning. And then get up and go to work at 8am. Wonderful for them. We are not those people.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because if you go to sleep at two and your kids are awake at five, yeah, it's kind of awkward.
Speaker 3:Yeah, or you need to be the person to get back to help the person who's been up since five. Yeah, it just doesn't work.
Speaker 1:No, so it's a lot of it. Again, it's not personalities, but also knowing when too much is enough. And then there is an awful lot about this. I think, if you agree because we haven't really talked about this one is owning yourself and having the bravery to go like say enough is enough. And that's hard to do, especially when you feel like you're invested in a relationship or someone's invested in you or you're whatever. You know you've made some level of emotional and time commitment and then go. I want less of this cool thing. You may have worked really hard, you may have sacrificed to get the cool thing.
Speaker 1:And then go. I actually want less, because it's not good for me. You've got to realize that and have the brave conversation, but I would always say that and this goes back to where you started from which is, if you're not, if you can't be at your best, you should probably work out why you're not at your best and do something about it. You should always and maybe there's a bias here, but I think you should always want to be your best, Not necessarily for anyone else, just for yourself. But why would you want to go through life?
Speaker 3:Not feeling great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because how do you feel right now? Not great, not great.
Speaker 3:However, as I was discussing with a colleague of mine earlier, not every day can be a sleigh day. That probably gives a indication as to how much younger she is than me.
Speaker 1:Sorry, because it's a podcast. Which version of sleigh are we? Talking bells and Santa Claus?
Speaker 3:No, as in the term to sleigh, as in, it's a To cut down. No, no, sleigh, a sleigh in your terms. These days it's like cool, like it's a good day sleigh.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it comes from the one to cut down Like you're cutting it, you're killing it, you're slaying it. Oh, I see Not sleigh, as in bells and Santa Claus.
Speaker 3:Yeah, right, sorry the way that you describe that.
Speaker 1:That's why I wanted to be good at that. We've got that version of sleigh, but modified for youth.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Not every day can be a sleigh day, which was the last thing she said to me this morning after an hour and 20 minute conversation about various things and it's almost more about the various things. Yeah, whilst everything can't be a sleigh day, as she so wonderfully put it, you still the surviving has got to be above par.
Speaker 1:You can't be tired all the time, but you want to be able to present ideally the best version of yourself, don't you? Because not that you always can, but you kind of want to, I think.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean all the other upsides to not presenting the best version of yourself.
Speaker 3:It's okay not to be okay.
Speaker 1:That's a very good point. It's also a very good phrase. It is okay not to be okay, but then there's lots of things that could drive that. But we're talking about protecting your energy, so it depends. What are the things that can secure energy away? We've talked about people. We've talked about health.
Speaker 1:So the other thing is your environment, or you're in a place that always makes you tired. You may have nothing you can do about that. I mean, I'll give you my, the version inside my head, which is very hard to do something about. But I sleep very lightly usually, and so if I was somewhere really noisy, if I was living in the middle of a city luckily we don't, Maybe I get used to it, but when I haven't done previously it hasn't worked.
Speaker 1:But if you're somewhere where you are always getting working up by traffic, noise or something like that, that's going to affect your energy levels as well and that's going to have repercussions into the rest of your life. If you have a job, maybe that doesn't. Shift work in the past, things like that can. Well, there are lots of long-tune studies saying that shift work is bad for your long-term health because of just this, the stress it puts on you. So how do you Can't really get into the how do you protect your energy in those circumstances? Because changing jobs, moving to your house, are fairly big tall order items and probably beyond the scope of this podcast.
Speaker 3:But they are the realities of life and if you are polyamorous and if you have multiple relationships with people, they are the sort of things that are going to impact you, and for me, it's about surrounding myself with people who understand those pressures. So one of the biggest drains for me is people who make drama for drama's sake. Yeah. And 100% yes.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and again that's a situation that we've been through. I mean, I had a partner once who I had booked something for them maybe a week or two beforehand, spent quite a lot of money on it, picked them up, taken them out. You know, even though I was going X amount of miles in the wrong direction, I still went and collected them, took them to this thing, had a lovely evening, it was wonderful, we had such a beautiful time. And then a couple of weeks later, because they had booked my birthday present for January, because they weren't going to be around for my birthday, they got upset at me for not doing the same thing booking something for their birthday.
Speaker 1:This is miles out, isn't it? This is like well in advance.
Speaker 3:So, yes, my birthday's in March. Right, and this was.
Speaker 1:I'd taken this person out in December, they'd booked my birthday gift for January, and then I got a hard time for being unthoughtful or not like yeah, Basically having an argument over you not booking something miles in advance for their actual birthday, which like wasn't that you weren't going to, but it doesn't need to have that level of discussion.
Speaker 3:Exactly, and I was made to feel so bad and it was just, and I just thought I haven't even thought about my kids' birthdays yet. Yeah, like, okay, thank you, don't worry, the kids have thought about it a lot.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3:Thank you other adult in the situation for making me feel like I have another child to look after.
Speaker 1:You hit a nail on the head there. We've both had X's where you feel like you're adopted another child. They just happen to be several decades older than children. It's a very strange feeling, isn't it?
Speaker 3:My ex-husband was definitely.
Speaker 1:I didn't want to say but yeah bit of that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it was the biggest child going and that's not attractive the older you get.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 3:Either.
Speaker 1:Whereas you end up with people like me who are obviously very sensible, not at all childish, with amazing banter.
Speaker 3:It's all going on. There's a difference between being a bit silly and stepping up when required. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, like we can be silly. I think I get the impression you're sillier with Lady V than you are with me, but you don't. I'm probably the same with French fancy, for example, but we don't have the pressures of all the other stuff that we're dealing with at the moment when we're with them. I'm still pretty silly with you.
Speaker 1:I just get more withering looks from you, which is like stop winding up the kids.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, because I'm the one that has to live with them being wound up as we're trying to put them to bed.
Speaker 1:That drains my energy, I also have to live with them?
Speaker 3:Yeah, but you chose to wind them up. I know.
Speaker 1:I'm not that bad.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So again, I think it, like I said at the start, it's just going back into knowing yourself, knowing what does and doesn't impact you, and that's a learning curve in itself, right, yeah, you might not know initially, or it might change, or.
Speaker 1:That's why things are important to know the triggers, identify within yourself when your energy is being threatened in some way and then work out the source of it. So, a internal, is my energy going down? B external, what's driving that? Because maybe not all the time, but most of the time the sources of energy drain are external to yourself, because usually if it's internal, you'll know about it, you'll do something about it. It's the other stuff that's outside. You feel like you've got less control over it. And then C is, to some degree, exert control of the situation. So it is less energy draining. So that means, like I say, drink more water, have more sleep. Maybe you do need to change your job, change where you live, or maybe you need to change your friendship group.
Speaker 3:Or a partner or whatever, yeah.
Speaker 1:Then those are actionable things, but you've got to probably start in that sort of sequence. Should we do more about this? I feel like a little formula, another flowchart that will never, ever get written out. There you go. There are some thoughts on how to not necessarily protect your energy, but identify when your energy is being depleted, and maybe some thoughts on how to protect it.
Speaker 3:You've made me think that maybe we should start doing Instagram posts of the flow diagrams of our thought processes.
Speaker 1:All right, Fine, I do love a flowchart I need to go work out with the other ones I should have written out by now, and all my teachers I do should just go on Instagram. Sorry, sorry, so funny, you started choking.
Speaker 3:Right, yeah, anything else? Oh, there's so much more we could say, but I don't.
Speaker 1:The energy's depleted.
Speaker 3:Thanks for bearing with us with this very somber episode because, honestly, like, we're so committed to this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it has to go out, even if it's rubbish. So, thanks for sticking with us. It's 4pm. We'll make you go back to bed for half an hour, all right?
Speaker 3:With that, keep us and your protection and your protected energy in your pocket.
Speaker 1:I see them. Goodnight, I'm trying not to fall.