Hey there. Welcome to the Friend in Your Ear podcast. I'm your host, Luna Smith, and I will be that friend inside your ear. Well, we explore all things self-improvement. I'll share tips, motivation and positivity to help you live your best life. From health and wellness to career and relationships. I've got you covered because that's what friends are for, right?
So tune in every week for a friendly chat to brighten your day. And this week, every day a little better together. Shall we, friend? And now on with the show. Hey there. Happy February. At this point, a lot of people may or may not still be keeping up with goals. And if you had any slip ups, it doesn't matter.
Remember, it's all about progress and not perfection. Like, for instance, I have been doing my workouts the last couple of weeks. Mind you, I my goal was just to do two workouts a week. And the reason I chose such a small amount was because when you start small, as I've discussed, you're more likely to be able to achieve it, which then gives you that momentum to keep going.
And it also gives a lot of breathing room, which as a mom of a young child is like quite necessary. So the last two weeks I have not actually worked out on the days I originally scheduled. I've had to do a lot of rearranging because of snow days and sick days, causing me to have to rearrange things so I can get my work done.
And that was the good thing about having a smaller amount that you're trying to do, because then you have a lot more days to reschedule if you need to. Instead of like having a very strange joint schedule of going every single day, if something comes up and you miss that day, it might give you this like feeling of failure.
If it doesn't, amazing. But if it does, give yourself grace. So I know a lot of people who the people who do like to work out every day, they might say they want to work out seven days, but they accept that it's probably going to be five. You can try that. You can strive for that as long as it doesn't make you feel like you're failing and giving up.
I rather start small and have a lot more breathing room and I just kind of need that because I already have such a limited amount of time every day to get things done. So I'm more likely to actually be able to accomplish those goals with a smaller amount. So the last two weeks, my second workout day I've actually had to do on the weekend and I was able to do it by having my four year old do it with me, which was actually pretty fun.
And it made me decide that maybe I actually would like to do one of the days on the weekends, just to set a good example and have him be involved as well. So I guess that seeing a blessing in the madness of rearranging things that are each scheduling, discovering that I actually enjoyed being able to do the workout with my son, but also with all of this rearranging and losing workdays and everything, it doesn't help with the feeling of overwhelm.
Though I was very proud of myself for still putting myself first a couple of those times, like actually, even though I could have been trying to catch up or get more ahead on work, I actually took some time for myself, which has always been a problem for me in the past as I put myself last. So that is progress right there that this year I have already shown progress in that respect, but I have decided to not put myself on the back burner all the time for self-care.
So yeah, for that I hope you are making progress in any of those areas as well, because it is so important to take time for self-care. Otherwise, it's just a constant battle of burnout, I feel, which has been my past year, really. Last year I just felt burnt out the entire year. So this year I am making more time for self-care.
That is my like main goal outside of starting up this podcast. I guess the downside of that is that it can still cause a sense of overwhelm with all the other things that I can't keep up on, which is kind of a constant battle, especially when you have kids. It's insanely difficult to keep up with housework and all of the kid related things.
The extra meal prep and meal planning and in such a limited amount of time, because as soon as I pick him up from school, I have to start making dinner because it's just kind of like madness up until bedtime. But anyway, I don't know. I am going off on this tangent, I guess just to say that if you have kids, give yourself a lot of grace because it's extremely difficult to keep up with everything, especially those of us who were very or still are of a perfectionistic personality where you're used to having things very orderly and and then you kind of have to just let go a lot as a parent.
But it doesn't stop the feeling, right? Like this whole past week, I've just had this awful feeling of overwhelm and part of it had to do with a close call allergy incident last week at school and just kind of put me in this anxious mood and then to have, you know, have lost those work days and trying to just keep up with everything.
And then the house hasn't been cleaned in forever. And working from home, you're constantly seeing it, Right. So especially, I mean, if any of you are stay at home moms or work from home, you're constantly seeing the things you need to get done. And a lot of times I have to use my work hours to do those things, which can be, you know, frustrating to do this whole insane juggle.
All of that can just kind of weigh on you when you're in it constantly. And if you get in that feeling of overwhelm, just like so many things that you need to do that you can't keep up with, there's not enough hours in the day, what can you do to get out of that feeling of overwhelm? So that's what I wanted to talk to you today, because it's real for me right now.
And there are things that we can do to help calm the overwhelm in the moment. It's not going to resolve the issue overall, but it will help how you feel in the meantime and in a future episode, I am going to discuss the idea of balance, but for now I just want to calm the overwhelm for those times when you cannot get things done.
No matter what, there just aren't enough hours in the day. Maybe you can't get to any of it. That's kind of how I felt a lot recently is just like so many things that I have been unable to get done because of timing and juggling. And yesterday I actually ended up taking my workday to just do cleaning in the house because if I didn't do that, it would be like another month before something got done because you're constantly like putting work and children first and like your surroundings, your environment.
It's something that greatly impacts your mental health, you know? So I decided to clean yesterday and hopes that it would help me feel a little better mentally, although then of course, it put me further behind on work. But I decided to kind of find the bright side of that because it was necessary. Like I said, there were things that had not been clean in like a month and it was just getting to me that I had to keep putting it off and off and off because I had no time.
So if you are unable to get things done, I mean, do not get hard on yourself. There are always things you're not going to be able to do, and it's just like a constant battle of choosing which thing you can cross off the list today. And you know what? I didn't even finish cleaning. Like, I got like 75% of the way there in the room that I was trying to work on, which was my bedroom and master bathroom, because that is the part of the house that had been neglected forever.
Just because, you know, no one ever sees that area. And it's kind of like, you know, metaphor for myself, my bedroom bathroom constantly being neglected because of putting others first. So if you do take the time to put yourself first, don't get hard on yourself. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't feel guilty for that because we have to do that.
Even if you can't get it 100% done, get it partially done, something to make you feel like you're taking care of you. I feel like that's so important, especially for moms, especially for moms, because moms come last all of the time. And yeah, we'll do a whole episode on that. Anyway, so this overwhelm, let's deal with that. I wanted to come up with three really easy tips on how to calm the overwhelm when you're just in the thick of it.
Three things that you can do that are not requiring any specific tools or supplements or anything like that. Just three things you can easily do to try to calm down the number one. And this is the oh so important one that I think we forget about, because when you are in that sympathetic state, when you are in high stress, high cortisol state, you're automatically just breathing shallow breaths, not even realizing it.
You're just quickly breathing and unaware that you are in that kind of like feeding into that even more. It's just like an automatic thing. So if we can switch that and just notice that we're in that state and and calm our breathing and slow it down and take deep breaths, you can counter that sympathetic state and activate your parasympathetic state, which is your rest and digest state of your nervous system.
That's basically telling your body that there's no danger. So if you can first start with just taking some deep breaths, it's hard when you're in that high stress, high cortisol state to remember that. But as soon as you do, as soon as you are in that mindset of, oh, I want to do something about this, I don't want to feel like this, remind yourself to take some deep breaths.
I know it sounds so simple, but it really makes such a huge difference at reducing cortisol, which will ultimately calm you down. There are lots of other benefits as well, of course, but getting your body into that restful, relaxed state is obviously going to be very effective. So that is action number one that you can do is to stop and just take some deep breaths, close your eyes if you need to, to help like further tune in to your self and block out whatever is overwhelming you.
But take some deep breaths if you can do this outside. All the better because just being in nature calms you down more too. So if you can be outside in nature and take these deep breaths that will maximize these benefits. Another thing that you can do that's very effective in my opinion, and something that I do like unintentionally, I just find myself automatically doing it as it just completely distract yourself.
So a lot of times I don't know how healthy this is, but a lot of times I just immerse myself in work and this is actually how I tend to deal with anxiety. And again, like I said, this is probably not healthy, but at least cuts the anxious thoughts and sometimes it will make them go away completely. Sometimes it's just temporarily while I'm working.
But if I focus fully on something, it kind of like distracts me from that feeling of overwhelm again. The deep breathing is probably going to be more effective at actually getting you in that better. You know, that more relaxed, less stressed and overwhelmed state. But if you're having a hard time with that just complete distraction, just do a 180 something completely different.
And then lastly, this kind of is it in tune with that last one is to take a mindful moment, a singular thing like I do this a lot. When I wash my hands, I just focus intensely on washing my hands on my hand. Slowly. They're moving the way that the soap feels, going through all of the different motions and just thinking about nothing else but washing my hands.
You can also do a meditation and a meditation app, but take a moment to just be in a moment and just focus on it intensely. And that itself kind of serves as a distraction, but it's also a way to just calm your system down because you're not thinking about the 500,000 things that are running in your head. You're focusing on this one mindful activity, and it's kind of like a switch for your brain and maybe in that mindful moment, repeat this mantra to yourself.
I can manage my stress using the power of breaths. I can manage my stress using the power of breath. That in itself should remind you to breathe. Those deep breaths are so effective. I mean, I here's my young child mom, and it's showing. But we watch a lot of Daniel Tiger in my house and a lot of the coping mechanisms that they teach in the show to calm down from either a feeling of anger or excitement or, you know, when you just need to calm your body down.
A lot of them involve breathing. They're teaching kids at a very young age how effective breath is. And I think we forget about that along the way. So this is just your reminder, but you can manage your stress using the power of your breaths. And if you need an extra reminder, which I found that I did because I just tend to run quickly as a person.
So I need to remind myself to slow down and breathe the very first mantra band that I bought myself was one that just said breathe. And that was just my reminder to myself. I just to wear that and I see it on my wrists and it reminded me to take deep breaths to calm myself down. So you might find that something like that helps you as well.
And if you think that will help to remind you, if you're someone who runs quickly, who tends to run a high stress and you need, you know, just an external reminder to breathe, you should definitely look into that, just something external to remind yourself to breathe. If you do want the mantra band, make sure you use my code: THATBLISSFULBALANCE by going to MantraBand.com/thatblissfulbalance and use that code which I will put in the show notes.
It gives you 10% off your first order. Definitely use that code. So you can get a discount if you do want to go that route. But you can easily do this with like a post-it note or something. Like I used to write notes on Post-its and put it on my mirror to remind myself as well. Because sometimes, you know, when you're in those heightened states, like it's hard to remember to slow down and to breathe because you are like on a survival mode, you know, So your body's not thinking about other things.
It's just stuck on this problem, this like need to survive. And, you know, these days it's not it's not like predatory animals. Usually. It's all this stressors of our daily lives. Like all the dishes piling up and the lunches to make and the work to get done and the house to clean. You know, it's all of this stuff piling up and it's just causing all these micro stressors, which then feel like a big stressor.
And sometimes like, I mean, for me, a lot of the times I feel fine, but I know that I'm barely above water and it just takes one more wrench thrown into the gears to just all of a sudden just sink me underwater there. And then you get that immense feeling of overwhelm. And I think a lot of us are functioning like that these days because a lot of us are doing it so alone and isolated and we don't have the community support that we used to.
We're kind of lacking a lot of that and a lot of us is on ourselves. And so we need quick tools that we can just use right in the moment to help us, to reset us into that calm state where we can more clearly think. And if we're in that calm state, then we can find ourselves in the state of mind where we might be able to see the good or to rearrange or to feel better about something like me taking that day yesterday to clean the house or not even the house to clean the one room, the two rooms, I guess partially to partly clean two rooms in my house that haven't been cleaned
in like I'm up to do that messed with the rest of my schedule, which I've already been behind on because of the snow days and sick days last week and the week before. But after doing it, I did feel a sense of relief and I got that thing done that had been weighing on me for so long. And yes, I still have these other things to get done.
But getting that huge thing, like most of the way off my plate kind of helped me to see how I can now rearrange things the rest of my week to still be able to get them done again. You know, there's that constant feeling of needing to be flexible because even if I plan it in this other new way to try to accomplish it all, something might still happen and it's going to, you know, mess it all up again.
And that's life. That's a lot of adapting and immensely more when you're a parent because there's just a lot more variables of things that can go wrong. And that is probably the greatest lesson that I've learned as a parent is learning to adapt. And it's not easy at all. But I feel like the more you deal with it and the more you're able to remind yourself to give yourself grace and accept that it's not about perfection, the easier it gets.
So take deep breaths, find a healthy distraction, put on a funny podcast for like 10 to 15 minutes or funny TV show something that distracts you and gets you to laugh and or is medicine and take a mindful moment to yourself, even if it's just for 30 seconds while you wash your hands, You know, just giving yourself a break from those thoughts, that feeling of overwhelm and remind yourself that you are in control and you can manage your stress using the power of breath.
I hope this was helpful. I know I spent a lot of time talking about personal stuff and I was curious if you prefer that, if you prefer some person more personal life stuff in these podcasts or if you prefer. I just kind of talk about tips in general and not as much of the personal stuff. Definitely let me know.
Leave me some feedback about that. And speaking of hearing from listeners, we have our first good news segment. So I just wanted to congratulate Cleric of Missouri for accomplishing her goal of learning to sew. So congratulations, Claire, for taking that time for yourself to do a hobby, an activity that you had been wanting to do, and now you're making your way and doing it.
Congratulations and thank you so much for sharing that with me so that I can share it on the first good news segment. If any of you have any good news to share, it doesn't matter if it's something that you've accomplished or a goal you've achieved or if it's just a fun story that you heard. That's just nice to hear.
Some kind of good news. Anything like that is a welcome to share. We should be celebrating these wins and these things in our lives that bring us joy. So if you'd like me to be part of that celebration with you and to recognize it here on the show, feel free to send me an email at the Friend in Your ear pod at gmail.com.
Thank you so much again for being here. And next week we have a very special episode. I'm going to do my first Q&A interview with a guest, and that guest is going to be my husband of over ten years and we're going to be talking about relationships. So if you have any questions you would like him to answer on the show?
Definitely send medium or email and we will be answering those questions about our relationship or just relationships in general. And next week's episode. Thank you so much for letting me be the friend in your ear, and I look forward to spending more time with you next week.